Chapter Text
Diego had a lot of nightmares. And a lot of worries and a lot of anxiety, really. Growing up on the Umbrella Academy and time travelling to prevent the apocalypse - twice - tended to do that to a person.
However, he could faithfully say that none of his nightmares had ever included his brother showing up at his doorstep in the middle of the night, clutching a crying child in his arms.
*~*
Klaus had been able to hear and see ghosts for as long as he could remember. Thus it was safe to say that he’d gotten pretty good at tuning out his surroundings when he slept, first through the aid of drugs, lately with the help of therapy and maybe just a little weed on particularly bad days. Medically prescribed, thank you very much.
So it wasn’t all that surprising that he slept through the blue flash lighting up his apartment, and barely stirred at the thump of something falling down in the living room.
He started to stir though when something penetrated the depths of his sleep, a feeling of unease that had nothing to do with spirits. Since he’d established office hours, they had been rather well-behaved, after all.
No, it was something else that made him huff and turn around, burrowing his head in his pillows because he wasn’t ready to wake up.At first, it was low enough that he wasn’t sure if it was his imagination or the wind outside, a soft whining noise that prevented him from sinking back into the comforts of sleep and his very, very nice dream about Dave.
It was irritating and Klaus waved his hand at the air, trying to banish whatever ghost thought it would get special treatment. For a second there was silence and Klaus settled back down with a happy sigh, only to bolt upright and nearly smack himself in the face when an ear-splitting wail echoed through his apartment.
“Well, that’s not good,” Ben said from his spot in the chair by the window.
“No shit,” Klaus hissed, stumbling towards the noise while trying to blink the sleep from his eyes. The darkness of his apartment was broken by the night lights and lit up by a few ghosts here and there, hovering with concerned frowns but thankfully keeping their opinions to themselves for once. Klaus felt a moment of pride for how well he’d trained them by now.
The wailing got louder the closer he got to the kitchen, though it was undercut by hiccuping breaths, which was even more worrying. Klaus peered around the corner, eyes scanning the empty room until they eventually settled on a tiny form curled against the fridge.
“Oh nooooo.” Baby ghosts were the worst. You couldn’t reason with them, you felt bad yelling at them, and they always made Klaus very sad.
“Hey baby. Hey, hey don’t cry. Please?” Klaus said, taking a cautious step closer. The wailing stopped for a moment and the small form unfurled a little. In the glow of the night-light the boy’s eyes shone with tears, some of them falling down his cheeks as he blinked rapidly. He pressed his lips together with all his might, positively shaking with the effort to keep quiet. It was a look of determination so familiar that Klaus stumbled to a halt, mouth hanging open.
“Shit.”
Next to him, Ben hissed in a breath.
“Ben, I didn’t….I didn’t sleep walk and got high, did I?” Klaus asked, trying to keep his voice even despite the hysteria trying to claw its way out through his words.
“Uh. No.”
“Shit,” Klaus repeated with conviction, which elicited a whimper from the boy.
“Do something, you idiot!” Ben huffed, and when Klaus didn’t move he had the audacity to push him, air propelling Klaus forward to stumble awkwardly.
“Uh. Right. Sooooo,” Klaus turned around to Ben and whispered, “I’m really not good with children.”
Ben raised an eyebrow as if to say ‘tough luck’. His brother was so unhelpful sometimes. Turning back, Klaus crouched down because you were supposed to do that with children so you didn’t intimidate them, right? And Christ, had they all been this tiny once?
“Uhm, hi, Five.”
“How do you know my name?” The boy asked, his voice high-pitched but his tone so indignant that any lingering doubts that Klaus may have had about the boy’s identity vanished.
“That’s a good question. So, I don’t really know what happened, and I know it might sound very strange, but I’m…your brother? Klaus? Remember me? We used to play hide and seek together and you always beat me because I’d giggle and give myself away.”
Five frowned and Klaus could practically see the wheels in his mind turning. “Four?” Five whispered. Klaus needed a second before he made the connection. Nobody but their father had called him by his number in ages, but they hadn’t gotten their names until they were older, so Five wouldn’t know him as Klaus. He nodded and gave Five what he hoped was a reassuring smile.
Five blinked at him for a moment and then his bottom lip started wobbling again. It was the only warning Klaus got before he was nearly bowled over by the force of child-Five throwing himself at him and wrapping his tiny arms and legs around him like a koala. He threw a panicked look at Ben, who shrugged helplessly, and awkwardly patted little Five’s back. “I know, buddy. This is all a lot, isn’t it? But we’ll figure it out, I promise.”
How they’d figure it out though, Klaus had no idea. It was usually Five who solved these kind of things while the rest of them bumbled along. Unless… there were two Fives now? Jeez, trying to work out time travel always gave him a headache. And anyway, the more pressing matter at hand was Five crying so hard it felt like his little body was shaking apart, and getting snot all over Klaus’ favourite sleep-shirt.
Klaus wrapped his arms more firmly around Five, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. His hair smelled fruity, like children’s shampoo, and for a second Klaus found it difficult to breathe as his chest contracted.
“It’s okay. My therapist says crying is important because it can be very cathartic,” he rambled. “What I’m trying to say is, just let it all out, yeah?”
Five let out another wail before he tucked his head into the crook of Klaus’ neck, his breath hot against Klaus’ skin whenever he hiccuped. Klaus looked at Ben over Five’s shoulder, pulling a helpless face.
“You’re doing fine. He’s probably in shock,” Ben said, sitting down to join them on the floor and lifting a hand before dropping it, as if for a second he’d forgotten that he couldn’t touch Five. Klaus was getting better at making Ben corporal for longer periods of time, but somehow he had the feeling that right now it would only freak Five out more.
Eventually Five’s sobbing ceased, leaving him slumped in Klaus’ arms, sniffling occasionally.
“Better?” Klaus asked tentatively, easing his grip when Five squirmed and pulled back to look at Klaus. His eyes were swollen and his lips pursed into a pout, the look on his small face so serious that Klaus had to fight to keep the twitching corners of his eyes under control.
“Are all of you big now?” Five asked accusingly, like his siblings had grown up just to spite him.
“I’m afraid so,” Klaus said, resisting the urge to pinch Five’s cheeks. Which wasn’t easy because they were so…pinch-able.
“That stinks,” Five sulked as he curled up against Klaus’ chest.
“It does. Adulting is really hard, trust me,” Klaus sighed and absently ran a hand through Five’s hair, which was all fluffy and soft and stood up in adorable little tufts.
Five sighed, managing to appear world-weary already even though he was only…hold on.
“Oh hey Five, how old are you?”
“I’m four,” Five replied, holding up four fingers and pushing his hand in Klaus’ face for emphasis. “Can we get hot cocoa?”
Klaus blinked. “Suuuuure,” he said, glancing at Ben, who rolled his eyes.
“You don’t have any milk, dumbs. Or cocoa.”
“How about a nice cup of tea instead?” Klaus asked as he staggered to his feet, Five’s added weight in his arms screwing with his balance.
“Cocoa,” Five repeated, kicking his leg against Klaus’ hip, proving he’d always been a mean little thing.
“Okay, sure. Let’s get you some cocoa.”
“Klaus, what - are you serious?” Ben asked, watching as Klaus shoved his feet into a pair of flip-flops and unlocked the front door.
“At least put on some pants!”
*~*
“Klaus, what the hell?” Diego asked, looking like Klaus had shown up on his doorstep with three heads instead of one head and one very tiny child.
“Don’t worry, he’s not hurt. But apparently we’re scared of ambulances and sirens,” Klaus explained, gently bouncing Five in his arms. “Are you gonna let us in?”
Diego, still looking dumfounded, stepped to the side, eyeing Five like he was a bomb about to go off. Considering the things their brother had done, it was a reasonable assumption to make.
“Klaus is that…is that your child?” Diego lowered his voice on the last part, like he was an old lady in church speaking about the occult. In all honesty, Klaus wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d clutched imaginary pearls to his chest.
“Of course not, stupid, where would I get a child from?”
“You didn’t steal it, did you?”
“What? No?! Why would I steal a child?”
In Klaus’ arms, Five let out a wet sob and rubbed his nose against Klaus neck which, yeah, gross.
“Hey, Five. You remember Diego, right? I mean…uh…Number Two? A little bit dumb but we still love him?”
Five pulled back and looked at Diego with a frown. Diego, for his part, starred back, looking much like a deer caught in the headlights of a monster truck, rather than a man faced with a child.
After a moment, Five tucked his head back against Klaus’ shoulder.
“Oooooh,” Ben cooed from behind Klaus. “I think he’s shy!”
“T-that’s Five?” Diego stuttered.
“Yes. He kinda showed up at my apartment and I have no idea what happened, but he wants cocoa. So…I brought him here.”
Five perked up at the mention of cocoa, turning his head so he could look at Diego from the corner of one eye.
Faced with that expectant look and the knowledge that his character would be judged on his ability to produce a cup of cocoa, Diego nodded slowly.
“Cocoa. Right. I’ll…I’m sure Estel down the hallway has some. Why don’t you guys….get…comfortable,” he said, waving in the direction of the living room as he slowly backed away before bolting for the door, probably to freak out in peace and quiet.
Klaus really couldn’t fault him. As long as he brought back cocoa.
“Alright, let’s get comfortable,” he decided, attempting to pry Five away from him and set him down on the couch, only to discover that toddlers had super strength, if the way Five was clinging to him was any indication.
“Okaaaay.” He sat down himself instead, his chance of freaking out quietly in Diego’s bathroom moving far far into the future, as Five settled in his lap. He rubbed a his little fist against his eyes tiredly and yawned, and Klaus made a high pitched noise in the back of his throat. Ben was peering over Klaus’ shoulder from behind the couch, whispering ‘I know!’ In the most dreamy voice. Five was just too adorable in his little pyjamas, with his messy hair and his tiny, tiny fingers that Klaus inexplicably wanted to kiss, one-by-one.
He decided that for tonight, focusing on the cuteness overload was the way to go. In the morning they’d call in the cavalry and hand this over to their better-adjusted siblings, who were clearly equipped to deal with this sort of crisis in an adult manner.