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The most inconvenient crush of Nyota’s life began on an away mission gone wrong.
A lot of things in Nyota’s life began that way: the idea for her doctoral dissertation, her ability to eat live insects without flinching, her grasp of the telepathic language of the Ba’aa’nagar species. But a crush? Well, that was a new one.
The away team was pinned down by enemy fire. This was not a new experience.
They were separated from the rest of the crew, which was also not a new experience.
Sulu’s hand was broken. In the grand scheme of away team injuries, this was a minor one. Compared to the time aliens tried to steal Spock’s brain, this one barely even rated. And it was nothing at all like the time Nyota got bitten by the radioactive spider thing. It did not give her superpowers. It gave her nearly fatal radiation sickness. So really, Sulu’s broken hand was nothing.
Except he was their only pilot.
He crouched behind a boulder, calculating the distance to the shuttle and the amplitude of enemy fire.
“Uhura, cover us.”
Nyota nodded. She was a good shot.
“Doctor, you’ll have to fly us out.”
Nyota waited for Leonard’s explosion. Dammit, man, I’m a doctor, not a fighter pilot. It didn’t come. She counted to five.
Leonard nodded solemnly at Sulu, silently accepting the mission. Nyota’s eyebrows shot up to her forehead.
“Do you think you can steer us around that blast canon and pick up the others?” Sulu asked.
Another terse nod.
Had she fallen into a mirror universe? Leonard noticed her staring and winked. Something in her belly fluttered. Just her nerves, surely. Something to do with all those phaser blasts sailing overhead.
“On my mark,” Sulu said. On the count of three, they ran zigzag through the open field, lungs heaving, Nyota’s phaser firing. She flung herself against the shuttle door and they flung themselves inside.
Leonard shot into the pilot seat so quickly his feet barely touched the round.
“Buckle up!” he called. “It’s going to be a bumpy ride!”
Nyota watched as his wide hands splayed across the controls, steering them up and away from danger. He was a brilliant doctor and a capable pilot? For the second time that day, Nyota’s stomach fluttered, and this time she couldn’t blame it on the phaser fire. Was there anything more attractive than a man with two unrelated competencies?
***
The most inconvenient crush of Leonard McCoy’s life began on an away mission gone wrong.
When you served on the Enterprise, a lot of things began that way, and in Leonard’s experience, most of them could kill you. Andorian flu, necrotizing fasciitis, radiation poisoning induced by the bite of an as-yet-unclassified arachnoid creature. So far, he -- and more importantly, the crew he was charged to protect -- had beaten them all.
But his sure-to-be-unrequited crush on a beautiful senior officer… well, that one might kill him.
“Keep your hand elevated above your heart to reduce pain and swelling,” Nyota was telling Sulu. “When we’ve leveled off, I’ll scan to see if the ends of the broken bones are aligned.”
Leonard tried to ignore and focus on the task at hand -- namely, navigating enemy fire and rescuing Jim’s sorry ass -- but it was damn hard to block out the sound of competent medical advice. Then Nyota spun toward the sensor readout and said, “I’m picking up life signs from bearing 330, mark 15. No communications, but they could be jammed. I’ll continue scanning all frequencies.”
From the corner of his eye, Leonard watched as she bent to retrieve the emergency med kit. “I’m going to give you a pain reliever and an anti-inflammatory, okay?” she said to Sulu.
Leonard knew he shouldn’t be turned on. First Aid 101 was required of every Starfleet cadet. Hell, most of the crew could probably get someone through a broken bone or two. But not nearly so effortlessly. Not swiveling between the comms station of a bucking shuttle and an injured patient, doing exactly what an experienced medical professional would do.
The truth was obvious: Leonard was smitten.
***
Five hours later, Nyota gritted her teeth and wrenched her gaze away from Leonard McCoy.
She’d only been single for six months. She was finishing her dissertation and applying for a promotion, and dammit, now was the time in her life to focus on herself, not fling herself into a new relationship.
“What’s the matter? Afraid to talk to a boy you like?” Gaila whispered. Well, not really whispered. It was the kind of stage whisper that ninety percent of the table could have heard -- if the usual we-survived-the-away-mission party weren’t so raucous.
“Be quiet,” Nyota hissed reflexively, even though nobody seemed to be listening. It just made her sound like a defensive thirteen-year-old with a crush.
Gaila smiled, but her eyes narrowed in an alarmingly predatory way. “I know what this is. You’re not used to being the pursuer. You’re used to men chasing after you.”
Nyota shot her an accusatory glare. “I am not afraid.”
And with that, she swallowed the last of her Cardassian Sunrise and strode across the room to Dr. McCoy.
He was standing at the observation windows, his stubble lit by the glow of the amber planet spinning below. Scruffy wasn’t her usual type, but Nyota had to admit he made it work.
“I didn’t know you could fly,” she said, leaning against the bulkhead beside him.
Leonard’s eyebrows shot up and he pressed a hand to his chest as if mortally wounded. “Did you forget Krall? And the space battle I flew through on an alien motorcycle? They gave me a medal!”
“You know, I do remember some kind of ceremony, come to think of it,” Nyota admitted, a smile tugging at the edge of her lips. “Although I mostly remember a lot of ‘dammit Jim, do I really have to put on the dress uniform? Why can’t we just have a shot of bourbon and call it a day?’”
“Might’ve gone something like that,” Leonard muttered, his half smile mirroring her own.
“So after the space battle, you got your pilot’s license?” she pressed. Crush aside, she really did want to know.
Leonard narrowed his eyes. “You think the first time I flew was in a space battle? What kind of fool do you take me for?”
“A busy one,” Nyota said. “You were the chief surgeon at Cedars-Sinai, and then you came to the Academy for a second residency in xenobiological medicine. I didn’t imagine you had a lot of spare time to fly.”
Shit. Heat rushed to Nyota’s cheeks. She’d just admitted to looking up his resume. Researching a crush’s academic and professional qualifications wasn’t that weird, right? Nobody will ever know, right? she’d thought when she opened the file. Unless, of course, she was the kind of idiot who told him herself.
But Leonard was looking down at the ground, his boot scuffing the industrial carpet. “I almost washed out of the Academy,” he muttered.
“What?” Nyota could hardly contain her shock. Leonard had graduated first in his class. Seeing his resume confirmed it, but she could’ve guessed without looking it up. No matter how close his friendship with Jim, he couldn’t have been the CMO of the Enterprise unless he was brilliant.
“It wasn’t the medicine,” he said. “I had a phobia of space. Kept thinking if I went up there enough, I’d get over it, but I just kept freezing. I was about to withdraw when Chris Pike showed up at the end of my shift and said he was teaching me to fly. Something about how if I could be in control up there, I might not be so afraid.”
Now Leonard was smiling again, starlight bouncing off his eyes, making him look even more excited.
“And it worked?”
He nodded. “Same skills as surgery, turns out. Be fast and precise, don’t lose your head in an emergency. I ended up learning a little more than the basics.”
The flutter was back in her stomach. This time it was worse. She could feel it all the way down to her knees. He’d started off afraid and learned something new -- and not just learned, but excelled. Nyota could think of nothing more attractive.
Down girl, she told herself sternly. Even after years of service together, she and Leonard were mostly connected through their mutual friendship with Jim. He would never have had any reason to look at her the way she was looking at him, and he certainly wouldn’t want a messy entanglement with a fellow senior officer. She glanced quickly around the room, looking for a plausible reason to leave the conversation before she embarrassed herself.
One presented itself quickly.
“Gaila’s interrogating Sulu about monogamy again. Better go rescue him.” She reached out and squeezed Leonard’s hand. “If I haven’t said it before, we’re lucky to have you with us.”
***
“You could try talking to her.”
Leonard jumped at the sound of the voice by his ear. Not that he should’ve been surprised. Jim always appeared at the most annoying moment possible.
“Shut up,” Leonard muttered. Witty rejoinder it was not, but it conveyed his feelings effectively.
Jim, of course, did not shut up. He slid into the seat across from Leonard and asked, “Just out of curiosity, is staring across the mess hall working for you?”
Leonard looked away from the table where Nyota was engrossed in animated conversation with her book club. Or her chorale ensemble. Or maybe it was her dance troupe? There was nothing the woman didn’t do, no interest she didn’t explore, and dammit, Leonard wanted to know more. Which was unfortunate, because there was no way that Nyota wanted an entanglement with another senior officer, much less a grumpy old cuss like him.
“She’s gonna catch you staring.” Jim at least had the decency to keep his voice low, but Nyota looked up at Leonard as if she’d heard it. She smiled and waved, and much to his horror, Leonard found himself scowling. He tried to correct it, but she looked away before he got the chance. Now he owed her an apology, and he could just imagine how that conversation would go. Sorry I death glared at you. It’s just that I find you really attractive and I was embarrassed you caught me staring. He didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell.
“Why is this like high school?” Leonard muttered, wishing the glass of water in his hand were something a hell of a lot stronger.
“It’s always like high school,” Jim said reassuringly.
“Juvenile delinquency and ill-advised sex with older women?” Leonard shot back.
“Well, not like my high school experience. Other people’s high school experience,” Jim conceded.
Leonard slumped back in his chair, trying to keep his gaze away from Nyota’s table. If she caught him staring again, his pride would never recover. Jim put something on the table with a heavy thud, and Leonard wrenched his attention back to his own lunch.
Leonard raised his eyebrows. “A bottle of wine in the middle of our shift? Isn’t that a bit much, evn for you?”
Jim rolled his eyes. “It’s for you and Nyota. Later. Just take it to her quarters and ask if she’d like a drink.”
***
Nyota slipped into the turbolift at the end of her shift, trying to stretch the kinks out of her shoulders. She’d spent four hours climbing around the subspace array, and the settings still weren’t calibrated to her liking.
The lift stopped on deck six, and she fought back the urge to jab the door close button. Everyone had had a long day, and five second’s delay getting to her quarters would hardly make a difference.
Leonard stepped aboard, and Nyota pushed back the now-familiar flutter in her stomach. He was freshly shaven and wearing a black button-down top over a nice pair of jeans...and holding a bottle of wine.
“Hot date?” she asked, swallowing her disappointment. She hadn’t realized he was seeing someone, but it was for the better. If he was taken, she wouldn’t do anything stupid.
He flushed. “I, uh, no. This was for you, actually.” He gestured at the bottle of wine.
Nyota’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline. “For me?”
“As a thank you.” He looked more awkward than she’d ever seen him. “For the cover fire on the away mission.”
For the second time in as many minutes, Nyota swallowed her disappointment. Hope had flared for a moment, with Leonard standing in front of her, looking so nice and offering her a bottle of wine. But of course his intentions were professional.
She shrugged. “It’s my job. If we’re giving out alcohol for every life saving maneuver, I probably owe you a bottle or six for the incident with the radioactive spider.”
Leonard’s impish grin flashed. “Well, I wouldn’t say no.” He cleared his throat. “If it had been me with the phaser, I don’t know that we would’ve gotten out in one piece. I wanted you to know I’m grateful.”
Nyota flashed back to their last weapons test. Her traitorous mind summoned an image of Leonard nailing the target five times in a row. “I’ve seen you in the holosuite,” she said. “You’re no slouch with a weapon.”
Leonard shook his head. “Sure, when it’s an imaginary target. But when it’s a real, living being on the other end…”
“You’ve seen the damage a phaser does,” she filled in, and Leonard nodded.
“I would’ve done it if I had to, but I’m glad I didn’t.” He held her gaze for a long time, and Nyota was thankful her skin was dark enough to hide her blush.
The lights flicked off, and then the lift started to fall.
***
The first thing Leonard said was, “I saved the wine.” And he’d gotten a nasty bump on the back of his head for the trouble, which just proved he really was regressing back to his teenage self.
Nyota, predictably, was all business. “The emergency hatch is jammed. I just rebooted the comms, but they’re not online yet.”
“Least the emergency lights are on.” Leonard gingerly pulled himself upright, groping for the emergency kit he knew would be latched to the wall. “You alright?”
“Bumps and bruises.” Nyota frowned at the tricorder in his hand. “Why are you scanning me?”
“People like you lie about not being hurt.” Even if half his brain had reverted to sixteen, he was no fool.
She snorted, and just then, the comm crackled back to life.
“Everyone alright down there?” Scotty’s familiar brogue filled up the small space.
“We’re both fine,” Nyota called back. “Even if the doctor doesn’t believe me. What happened?”
“Quantum filament. Knocked most of the systems offline.” Scotty sounded indignant.
“How many injured?” Leonard barked, his mind automatically skipping to triage protocols. The surgical suite needed to be prepped, and the regen units would need to be brought online. “More importantly, how long till you can get us out?”
“Not more than Dr. M’Benga can handle,” Scotty said firmly. “Seeing as you two are safe, you’d better buckle in for the long haul. It’ll be a few hours at least.”
Nyota sighed and rested her forehead against the wall. It wasn’t easy for either of them to be trapped and useless during an emergency. But then her eyes skipped to the bottle of wine, and she gave Leonard a mischievous grin. “So,” she said. “Drinking game?”
Leonard fought down the temptation to actually smack his head against the wall. Of all the times to be caught unprepared… “If I had a corkscrew, I’d be in,” he said ruefully.
Nyota pulled a swiss army knife from the pocket of her uniform pants and held it up triumphantly. “Always prepared.”
“Be still my beating heart,” Leonard murmured. He wasn’t entirely joking.
The cork came out of the bottle with a satisfying pop, and Nyota grinned at him in the dim glow of the emergency lights.
“Lady picks the game,” he said, settling back against the wall and kicking off his shoes. Nyota licked her lips, and then his heart actually stood still.
“Okay,” she said. “How about...I’ll tell you something about yourself, and if it’s true, you’ll take a drink. If I’m wrong, I’ll take a drink.”
“Well, that’s different from the drinking games I played in college.” Leonard said. Then he reminded himself to smile, lest she think he was uninterested. “I’m game though.”
Nyota settled on the floor closer than he expected, and his heart started beating again. Last night, when they’d talked at the party, Leonard could’ve sworn that she was looking at him like… The thought didn’t bear finishing. She’d excused herself quickly, which just proved he was letting his imagination get away with him.
She passed him the bottle. “You go first,” she said. “Anything about me you think is true.”
“You’re a perfectionist,” he said quickly, not wanting to risk anything too intimate.
Nyota rolled her eyes. “Too easy,” she said, but she took a drink.
“Alright, try me.”
She looked at him appraisingly. “You’re a closeted adrenaline junkie.”
Leonard grimaced and held out his hand for the bottle. “How’d you figure that?”
“Please. You would’ve resigned your commission long ago if you didn’t enjoy more than occasional risk of life and limb.” Her fingers brushed against his when she passed the bottle. Her hand lingered for a moment before she let go. “Now give me better one than you did last time.”
“Alright,” Leonard said, taking his drink slowly. It was good wine, not the kind that ought to be swilled out of the bottle -- not that they had much choice at the moment. “You might not be the oldest in your family, but you were the most responsible. The one that looked out for everyone, even if you weren’t asked.”
Nyota looked down at the floor for a moment, then back up at him. “That was perceptive. Second of four, and the one who held things together after my parents got divorced.” She took a long swallow, and Leonard’s heart stuttered under the intensity of her gaze. Was it his imagination, or was she sitting closer to him than she had been five minutes ago?
“Your turn,” he said quietly. His voice didn’t need to travel far to bridge the space between them.
“Hmm. You are the oldest in your family, and you’ve been looking out for people for a very long time.”
“What’s the rule if you’re half right?” he asked. They were close enough now for their shoulders to brush together, and he didn’t move away.
“I guess we both drink.” Nyota had a little dimple when she smiled, Leonard noticed. “But you have to tell me which half.”
“I was the only child,” he said. “It was my mom I looked out for, after my dad got sick.” This wasn’t something he talked about a lot. In fact, of the whole crew, only Jim really knew. But sitting here, shoulder-to-shoulder with Nyota, he didn’t mind the conversation. It came out easily, and he found himself hoping she’d ask more.
“That’s why you stayed close to home for med school,” she said. Even in the dimness of the emergency lights, Leonard could see her eyes were dancing, the same way they did when she’d solved a new problem.
“Correct,” he said, taking another drink from the bottle. “But you stole my turn.”
“Alright.” Nyota shrugged, and Leonard felt her skin moving against his. “I owe you an extra turn.”
Leonard’s eyes narrowed as he rewound the past night’s conversation. She’d known about Cedars-Sinai, his second residency at the Academy...and that he’d gone to Ole Miss? “You looked up my resume,” he said.
Nyota snatched the bottle and drank hastily, not looking him in the eye. “Guilty as charged.”
Her whole body was tense beside him. “What I can’t figure out is why you’d do a thing like that.”
“That is not a question, and it’s a violation of the rules,” Nyota said loftily. She was holding up her chin, but she still wouldn’t meet his eyes.
Leonard blinked. Had she seen a job posting she thought he might like? Surely she knew he wasn’t thinking of leaving the Enterprise. She might’ve needed to fill spots for an official delegation, but there would be no reason to be embarrassed about that. His mind flashed back to the way she’d looked at him last night, but who looked up their crush’s academic and professional background?
Nyota would, said a voice in the back of his mind.
He opened his mouth and closed it again, trying to come up with a way to phrase what he was thinking. “You have a thing for me?” he said finally. “And so you looked up my resume?”
Beside him, Nyota buried her face in her hands. “Why is this always like high school? This is the most embarrassing moment of my life.” She inhaled as if steeling herself for battle and looked up at him. “I don’t know what got into me. There was that away mission, and then you said you were a pilot, and you learned how to fly because you were scared of flying. But I understand that you and I have a professional relationship, and I hope you’ll do me the kindness of forgetting this ever happened.”
Leonard’s mouth opened and shut several times before words actually came out. “How exactly do you know I want to forget it?” he asked. The voice came out as a croak, exactly like he was sixteen again, but he forced himself to continue on. “Maybe you should try me.” He nodded toward the bottle between them. “I think it’s your turn.”
Nyota turned to face him. Her thighs brushed against his, and her hair tickled his nose with the aroma of her shampoo. “You like me,” she murmured.
He traced a finger along her jaw, tilting her face toward his. “I do like you,” he said, his voice barely a whisper.
He leaned in to kiss her.