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Benrey is, for lack of a better phrase, a perfect being.
Allow me to explain. There are countless threats and hazards to life in life. On Earth, one fights tooth and nail to survive, hoping that their genetic differences from their parents would drive them closer to thriving in their harsh environment. Fur for warmth, camouflage for hiding, fangs for fighting. All of these features, these miracles, were created by successful mutations, tiny errors and changes in the DNA providing just enough of a boost to keep them alive long enough to pass down their DNA, allowing said species to slowly distort--or as you may recognize, evolve, into what they are today.
‘Benrey’, on the other hand, is all of this as one. There is no written history of his origin, or ancestors, it is simply him. He lives, tries, dies, and tries again. Each time a different trait, a slightly more complex formula to ensure survival of what downed him. It is how he became the apex predator of Xen. It is how he became sentient, how he is and always will become. Benrey is the result of his failures, not of other’s. He is the perfect strive towards perfection, evolution incarnate. There is no obstacle that he cannot adapt to overcome.
Or...well, that’s what he thought.
A lot has changed since the invasion on Black Mesa. Benrey didn’t know that other creatures had evolved to the point of his similar sentience, and that alone opened up an entire world of foreign concepts and challenges he had never encountered before. Things such as emotions, frustrations, relationships, communications, abstract fears...he had experienced them all, yes, but never on any scale remotely close to this. These...humans. Their minds were used to their hearts, their heads. Benrey wasn’t. For the first time in he’s forgotten when, he felt as if he weren’t at the top of the food chain. Sure, he could easily wipe them out, physically there was no comparison! But in terms of feeling, coping, speaking...they had him beat.
They really had him beat, especially now. Especially when he had a job interview looming over his head.
“I thought you were excited to work for the theatre.” Warm hands perched on his shoulders, weighing him down from the atmosphere of his stress. He was in their living room, curled in a ball on the sofa. He hadn’t realized Gordon’s approach, or the time, or that infomercials were the only thing on the television. Had he even turned that thing on?
The softest stream of faint yellow orbs were all the response Gordon needed. Benrey felt the lingering aura of warmth shift, the sofa creaking against the newly-distributed weight. It seemed he had company.
“I know I nearly shat myself when I learned I had an interview for Black Mesa. I sent the application on a whim--I thought I was still going to be working filler jobs until I was at LEAST thirty. But--ah shit that’s not the point. It’s oka--It’s natural, it’s normal to feel nervous.” Worried. Worried was the right word. Not nervous. Nervous was more of a purple sort of color and tasted electric. Apparently this thought process was picked up on by the human, as he would sit back against the cushion quietly.
“Do….you want to talk about it?”
“...” deeper into the jacket the alien turtled. “What if it’s...I dunno….wrong.”
There was a pause. Was Gordon waiting for clarification? From their previous chats of this nature, Benrey could conclude one of two things: 1) Gordon did not want to put his foot in his mouth so he’s waiting to pick his words wisely, or 2) Gordon did not want to put his foot in his mouth so he’s waiting to understand what had just been said. Either way, the alien knew there would be no speaking for a while, so he decided to use this time to gather more of his internal error messages.
“Like, I like it there, yeah. Cool place, neat vibes...eating popped corn, bein’ in the dark, eavesdropping on the shows...but like--what if it’s not--yknow, me, man? What if I’m going the wrong way?”
“Benrey...if it’s the wrong fit for you, you can find another job.” It wasn’t like they needed one, anyway, with the hefty hush money they received after the resonance cascade. But with Gordon going back to his own steady job and Joshie at school, Benrey was left with nothing to do, nothing but a wandering mind. His mind wasn’t nice to him.
Something of that statement had him perk up, though, peeking out from the soft sanctuary of the hoodie. “Wha? No, Feetman, it doesn’t work that way.”
“Uh, yeah, it does.” There it was, the little cock of the head he loved and hated. It wrote on Gordon’s face clear as day, the alien had no idea what he was talking about and the human knew it. It earned a bit of frustratred to the face, the sweet voice causing Gordon to blink.
“I don’t know that. You don’t know that. ...Dr. know-it-all. Dr. Quantum-Physics, Dr. Got-everything-together n’shit…. Everyone’s got a job they do and they stick to it. You even went back to sciencing! If I go there and...and...it isn’t...yknow, cool, then I’m stuck. I’m stuck being Mr. Popcorn…”
There was a long pause, as if waiting for the air to settle. When the silence was broken, a bit more sympathy was shown in the scientist’s eyes.
“I can uh...see where you think that. But it’s different here on Earth, I had a lot more time to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. You, well? You’re brand new. Newer than Joshie even, to Earth I mean. Nobody should expect you to know what you want to do with your time here. Nobody fucking does, really. So if you get the job and you don’t like it, well? You can find another job and quit this one. Or find something else to do, we really aren’t pressed for cash.”
“Everyone’s busy though…” Benrey averted his gaze, which only earned a warm hand on his knee.
“Well, then maybe this’ll be good for you. Meet new people, find new interests, learn more about Earth from people other than crazy scientists and a handsome boyfriend.” Gordon scooted closer, wrapping his arms around his partner lovingly. Benrey could feel the steadiness of his breath, the constant of his heart beat...and it calmed him. “But don’t knock it till you try it, okay? It’s not the end of the world if you get a wrong job--oh, well, uh, shit….that’s a terrible analogy!”
It caused Gordon to cackle at his own slipup, further distracting Benrey from his fears. Maybe this was okay. Maybe he’ll even enjoy this. But if not...he knew he could adapt. Benrey was best at adapting--but even still, it comforted him to know the constant. The constant of the two who would be waiting for him when he got home.
He was going to knock the socks off of that interview.