Work Text:
Group: ALL LEGENDS ON DECK
[Members: Captain/Sara, B-Eazy, Nate, Ava Sharpe, ❤️Zari❤️, MICK, John Constantine]
May 7 (3 conversations)
5:13am TZT
[Captain/Sara has begun a conversation]
Captain/Sara: So who the hell left a torn towel in the bathroom and why is it that color
Asking here even though I have my suspicions bc genuinely there’s like three people I can think of who’d have a towel that gross and I guess any of you could’ve taken a shower at 3am
5:31am TZT
[Nate has joined the chat]
Captain/Sara: Yeah I thought so
Did you even sleep
Nate: I mean if we’re going to go there why are you awake?
Captain/Sara: No
I’m asking about the towel
Nate: I can explain.
Actually I cant explain, I just forgot. My bad, Sara, Ill clean it up. Before Zari wakes up. Lol.
Captain/Sara: I already burned it
Nate: SERIOUSLY??? It was NOT bad enough to go full Mick on it.
Captain/Sara: Have Gideon make you a new one, there is literally a replicator right there
Nate: I'm a historian I have emotional attachments to old things...
)-:
Captain/Sara: To old towels? Are you okay
[Nate has left the chat]
[Captain/Sara has left the chat]
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NO MEMBERS ACTIVE
___
12pm TZT
[❤️Zari❤️ has begun a conversation]
❤️Zari❤️: Has anyone seen B??? I’ve been looking for him all morning and he won’t answer my texts.
[Ava Sharpe has joined the chat]
Ava Sharpe: Yeah, he was in the galley.
❤️Zari❤️: i was just in the galley!
Ava Sharpe: Huh.
❤️Zari❤️: Huh??? Huh is all you have??? #suspicious
[MICK has joined the chat]
MICK: MAYBE HES AVOIDING YOU.
❤️Zari❤️: Excuse me???
MICK: BECAUSE YOUVE BEEN SMOTHERING HIM.
❤️Zari❤️: I have not!!!
[MICK has left the chat]
❤️Zari❤️: Did he literally just join the chat to insult me and then leave??? I didn’t even know he read this thing!
I have not been smothering Behrad wtf
Ava Sharpe: I mean. You check in on him a lot.
❤️Zari❤️: Do I have to remind you that he DIED?
Ava Sharpe: You really don’t. Maybe you should stop reminding him too.
[❤️Zari ❤️ has left the chat]
[B-Eazy has joined the chat]
B-Eazy: lol
[B-Eazy has left the chat]
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NO MEMBERS ACTIVE
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7:01pm TZT
[Captain/Sara has begun a conversation]
Captain/Sara: Ok but actually has anyone seen John? I need to talk to him about the blood
[Nate has joined the chat]
[Ava Sharpe has joined the chat]
[B-Eazy has joined the chat]
[❤️Zari❤️has joined the chat]
Captain/Sara: I see I’m not the only one who wants to talk to John about the blood
Zari, have you seen him? Gideon’s got nothing
❤️Zari❤️: Why would I have seen him???
Ava Sharpe: Please, PLEASE stop. Why are you acting like we don't know?
❤️Zari❤️: Okay, fine. NO. I haven’t seen him all day. It’s a casual thing, we’re not together that much.
B-Eazy: he was in the lab earlier
Captain/Sara: Ok I’m over John-hunting this is the reason I made him get a phone
HEY JOHN THIS NOTIFICATION IS FOR YOU GET ON THE GROUPCHAT
[John Constantine has joined the chat]
John Constantine: ?🔐
Captain/Sara: Backread
John Constantine: Oh blood
4 spell 🔧🚃💀
Nate: We dont really need to know what the spell is about John just clean up if you spill stuff. Especially in front of the parlour. I almost stepped in it. :-/
Captain/Sara: Wait wait actually what kind of spell were you doing outside of the lounge that involved blood???
John Constantine: 🔧🚃💀☢️❌🌒
Sara Lance: Nate?
Nate: Something about tracking a ghost bus but he wasnt actually doing it outside the lounge, some of it just spilled and he didn’t notice.
John Constantine: 🍆
Captain/Sara: Fine. Pay more attention next time you’re hauling around blood
Or anything you use for spells
Just general gore
This is somehow a recurring problem John
Make it stop recurring
John Constantine: OK
[John Constantine has left the chat]
B-Eazy: watch him """forget""" next time and we’ll end up cleaning all the blood again
Ava Sharpe: Yeah, I’m gonna get on that.
B-Eazy: cleaning the blood? uh no way you didn’t notice that nate already did it
Nate: Unfortunately
Ava Sharpe: NO, getting John, AN ADULT WHO LIVES ON THIS SHIP IN SPITE OF HAVING HIS OWN APARTMENT AND AN ENTIRE HOUSE, to clean up after himself instead of just leaving it for someone else who is too responsible to leave hazardous materials lying around.
Captain/Sara: Ooooh
❤️Zari❤️: Ooooh
B-Eazy: i mean gary does basically live in that apt now so
and astra’s at the house
Ava Sharpe: Yeah, but I didn’t include that because I didn’t want to qualify my indignation, B.
Captain/Sara: Wait doesn’t Gary have his own apartment
B-Eazy: there was an incident w a demon and sci-fi merchandise
Captain/Sara: Please, please say no more
Ava Sharpe: Babe, it was like three months ago.
Captain/Sara: I mean I can’t keep up with every random insane thing that happens in Team Warlock's lives
Ava Sharpe: Uh, I distinctly remember telling you about it.
Captain/Sara: I probably thought it was just more former Time Bureau gossip
Ava Sharpe: Just??? I thought you were interested. In my stories.
Captain/Sara: I thought you knew I wasn’t listening that hard
Wait how do I delete that
Ava Sharpe: ?????
[Nate has left the chat]
[B-Eazy has left the chat]
Captain/Sara: I didn’t think it was that important to you that I listen to every single thing you say, sorry
Wait that came out wrong
[Ava Sharpe has left the chat]
Captain/Sara: BABE THAT CAME OUT WRONG
Ok groupchat probably isn’t the best place to talk about this anyway
I know you’re still here Zari
Are you really that starved for drama
❤️Zari❤️: You’re missing out with the Time Bureau gossip tbh some of that stuff is #tasty
But seriously, go talk to your gf, she’ll get what you mean and then you’ll both realize that there’s no argument.
Tell her I’ll always appreciate the gossip
[Captain/Sara has left the chat]
❤️Zari❤️: It’s cute that your fights are this stupid
Oh she’s gone
You’re welcome~
[❤️Zari❤️ has left the chat]
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NO MEMBERS ACTIVE.
May 8 (0 conversations)
May 9 (3 conversations)
1:09pm TZT
[Nate has begun a conversation]
Nate: We didn’t debrief yesterday.
I mean thats understandable but I’m just saying we didn’t so maybe we should all gather and do that.
[MICK has joined the chat]
[B-Eazy has joined the chat]
MICK: EXCEPT AVA.
[Captain/Sara has joined the chat]
[❤️Zari❤️ has joined the chat]
Nate: Did you really have to say it? And with her real name and everything...
MICK: SHES HIGH.
Nate: Also understandable. But I’m sure she’d appreciate a debrief!
Later
Once she’s not high.
Captain/Sara: I guess I could mention how SOMEONE decided to day-drink while QBing AGAIN
MICK: EVERYONE KNOWS QB DOESNT DO ANYTHING.
Captain/Sara: Then why is it that every time you QB you end up having to do something?
MICK: COINCIDENCE.
Captain/Sara: That’s not what a coincidence is. It’s just not what it entails
Nate: He did save Ava, though. He does generally do something if he’s QBing.
MICK: ITS NOT QBING ANYMORE WHEN THINGS START HAPPENING. JUST BEING ON A MISSION.
Captain/Sara: Ok ignoring the weird logic, you only saved her once she was already hurt!
[John Constantine has joined the chat]
John Constantine: She shod thank him realy
☠️📝🐿
Joke
Actualy❌💘🙈 buster Keaton
Captain/Sara: What’d he say?
Nate: It’s not that important.
John Constantine: 🐣
Captain/Sara: FFS
Zari ask John what it means
❤️Zari❤️: Excuse me? Why would I be with him?
Captain/Sara: I’m so tired
❤️Zari❤️: Seriously I'm not actually with him right now. Why would we both be using the groupchat?
Captain/Sara: My mistake. Nate? Captain’s orders
Nate: You need to stop doing that.
Fine—he says Ava should thank Mick for letting her get hurt because she got drugs that loosened her up, but that’s a(n inappropriate!!!) joke and really you’re too blinded by your love to see that it wasn’t even Mick’s fault, Ava just got hurt because she got shot by one of those assassins sent to kill Buster Keaton and that’s...basically it.
We DO have a dangerous job and Mick DID step in when he had to actually.
B-Eazy: sorry you got all that through like six emojis?
Nate: I mean I added a little but overall it’s a faithful translation.
John Constantine: 🍆
Nate: See?
Captain/Sara: Why is everyone defending Mick?
John Constantine: Its funny
❤️Zari❤️: You’re frustrated and need to take some deep breaths. And accept that no one can be protected at all times.
Captain/Sara: I’ll do that when you do you hypocrite
❤️Zari❤️: Hey!!!
Nate: We should gather to bicker as a team, maybe.
Captain/Sara: No, I’m with Ava right now.
Nate: We’ll gather in medbay.
MICK: LET IT GO, PRETTY. WE JUST DEBRIEFED.
Nate: This was not a debrief! We should get together and talk it all over.
[MICK has left the chat]
Captain/Sara: Ava’s awake.
Nate: I’ll come visit.
Captain/Sara: She’s kind of a lot right now don’t worry about it
[Captain/Sara has left the chat]
[B-Eazy has left the chat]
[John Constantine has left the chat]
[❤️Zari❤️has left the chat]
Nate: I had some history facts and they were super relevant.
:-(
[Nate has left the chat]
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NO MEMBERS ACTIVE
___
4:05pm TZT
[B-Eazy has begun a conversation]
B-Eazy: jsyk ava’s with me
i'm kind of assuming someone’s been looking for her
is it weird that the painkillers stayed in her system for so long even after gideon healed the wound? seems weird
[MICK has joined the chat]
MICK: MAYBE ITS BECAUSE SHES A CLONE.
[❤️Zari❤️ has joined the chat]
❤️Zari❤️: Why do you ALWAYS have to go there?
[MICK has left the chat]
❤️Zari❤️: Troll!!!
Anyway is she in the lab?
B-Eazy: yeah
gtg some things aren’t meant to be gazed upon and i am gazing
[B-Eazy has left the chat]
[Captain/Sara has joined the chat]
Captain/Sara: Oh she’s in the lab thank GOD
I fell asleep
It was a long day yesterday
❤️Zari❤️: You should work on your sleep hygiene.
Captain/Sara: There was an injury!
❤️Zari❤️: I mean this is just general, you should absolutely work on your sleep hygiene. It’d do wonders for the bags under your eyes.
Captain/Sara: Excuse me?
❤️Zari❤️: Anyway I’m going to the lab to collect Ava from the floor.
[❤️Zari❤️has left the chat]
Captain/Sara: Hey I was going to do that
I’m going to do that
[Captain/Sara has left the chat]
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NO MEMBERS ACTIVE
___
11:33pm
[Captain/Sara has begun a conversation]
Captain/Sara: so actually yea briefcase good idda
[Nate has joined the chat]
Nate: Go to sleep, Ava.
[Captain/Sara has left the chat]
[Nate has left the chat]
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NO MEMBERS ACTIVE
May 10 (2 conversations)
10:08am TZT
[❤️Zari❤️has begun a conversation]
❤️Zari❤️: JOHN THIS NOTIFICATION IS FOR YOU
I have a question and the question is what the HELL.
[B-Eazy has joined the chat]
[Captain/Sara has joined the chat]
B-Eazy: what happened why are you doing this here
❤️Zari❤️: Because John only sees notifications for ongoing groupchat convos because he doesn’t have notifs on for anything else and it’s too late for anyone to touch his phone? Obvs
B-Eazy: oh yeah. obvs.
❤️Zari❤️: And he decided to run off on me.
[Ava Sharpe has joined the chat]
Ava Sharpe: He is a runner.
❤️Zari❤️: You try to give a man a gift and get a fit instead of a thank you.
HEY JOHN THIS NOTIFICATION IS FOR YOU IF YOU WOULD EXPLAIN WTH IS GOING ON BEFORE GETTING WEIRD ABOUT IT I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE THAT
B-Eazy: why did you give him a gift?
❤️Zari❤️: I don’t have to have a reason to give a gift! I give gifts all the time.
[Nate has joined the chat]
Nate: By the way, that conditioner is spectacular.
❤️Zari❤️: See?
B-Eazy: yeah but was the gift for no reason or was it for his bday
Ava Sharpe: Oh it IS his birthday today.
Captain/Sara: How did you know that?
Ava Sharpe: I have all of your files memorized.
Nate: That seems weird to me. Does that seem weird only to me?
Captain/Sara: No
Ava Sharpe: Shut up, it’s not like I studied them or anything. I just have a really good memory.
❤️Zari❤️: Yes, it was for his birthday.
B-Eazy: why would you do that???
❤️Zari❤️: Why would I NOT do that? I had to hustle too, I only found out his birthday yesterday.
Captain/Sara: I mean there was always gonna be a danger of John getting weird about it if it’s because of his birthday
❤️Zari❤️: Look I know John is weird about a lot of things, but why???
B-Eazy: wait do you not know
❤️Zari❤️: Not know...what?
Captain/Sara: Ohhhh
B-Eazy: do we tell her
is it like an invasion of privacy
Ava Sharpe: This entire team is an invasion of privacy.
Captain/Sara: I feel like we can tell her the basics? It seems relevant right now
❤️Zari❤️: TELL ME WHAT?
Omg
Did I commit a faux pas???
Ava Sharpe: The horror, the shame.
❤️Zari❤️: Yes
Ava Sharpe: That was sarcasm.
❤️Zari❤️: Not at its CORE
B-Eazy: come to the lab
[❤️Zari❤️has left the chat]
[B-Eazy has left the chat]
[Captain/Sara has left the chat]
Ava Sharpe: Okay, guess we’ll leave them to that.
[Ava Sharpe has left the chat]
Nate: We could go over some paperwork together. There has to be paperwork somewhere, right?
Oh she’s gone
[Nate has left the chat]
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NO MEMBERS ACTIVE
___
10:37pm TZT
[❤️Zari❤️has begun a conversation]
❤️Zari❤️: Not to be like overprotective or anything, but genuinely has anyone reached John? It’s been hours and he won’t answer his phone for me even to be like “stop calling me on my phone or I’ll throw it into the nearest river”
Oh no...what if it’s already in the nearest river
[Captain/Sara has joined the chat]
[Ava Sharpe has joined the chat]
[B-Eazy has joined the chat]
B-Eazy: “not to be overprotective or anything but my bf who everyone knows is stupid independent isn’t at my beck and call so he’s probably dead in a ditch somewhere”
❤️Zari❤️: Shut up it’s not an ordinary situation and he’s not my bf
JOHN THIS NOTIFICATION IS FOR YOU
I’m obvs not trying to be clingy because we both know this isn't that kind of relationship, but answer your phone or join the groupchat, the only thing we want is to make sure you’re okay...
Ava Sharpe: We?
Captain/Sara: To be fair, when John runs off dramatically into the night someone usually ends up injured and it's not always him
Ava Sharpe: Not a bad point. Don’t you have a tracker in his phone?
Captain/Sara: How did I NOT THINK OF THAT???
[John Constantine has joined the chat]
❤️Zari❤️: Finally!
John Constantine: Wait!!! Before u say anything this is actually Gary sorry!!!
❤️Zari❤️: What
John Constantine: His phone was just really blowing up so I peeked 😣 and I thought I should tell u guys he’s fine!!! Dw he’s just in the NYC apartment and a little drunk
A lot drunk
But he’s fine! I’m sure he’d be happy to know u were so worried about him
B-Eazy: maybe you shouldn’t tell him that
John Constantine: Oh I’m not going to 😅
❤️Zari❤️: Fine...Gary, will you give John a message for me?
John Constantine: Of course!!!!!
❤️Zari❤️: Tell him I gave him the tie for no reason, it has literally nothing to do with his birthday and the only reason I said Happy Birthday before was just...still no reason. Ask him to pretend to believe me, we don’t have to talk about it.
Yet.
Don’t include the yet
I hope he never learns how to backread full convos.
John Constantine: Awwwww sure!!!!!!!!!
B-Eazy: awwwww
Captain/Sara: Awwww
❤️Zari❤️: Oh shut UP, it was just an excuse to give him the stupid tie anyway. Practically a gift for me. Tell him the tie was basically a gift for me, Gary.
John Constantine: Oh did u give him the blue tie? I was kind of confused.
❤️Zari❤️: Wait, he’s WEARING it?
Ava Sharpe: Aw…
❤️Zari❤️: HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND
B-Eazy: no one said that
i mean not recently
[❤️Zari❤️has left the chat]
[John Constantine has left the chat]
Captain/Sara: Why does she go so hard on the he’s not my bf thing?
B-Eazy: she watched a lot of romcoms at an impressionable age
Ava Sharpe: How is that an answer?
Captain/Sara: Dw babe I can explain
[Captain/Sara has left the chat]
[Ava Sharpe has left the chat]
[B-Eazy has left the chat]
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NO MEMBERS ACTIVE
May 11 (1 conversation)
9:31pm TZT
[Captain/Sara has begun a conversation]
Captain/Sara: Right I forgot to ask earlier
Who deep-cleaned the galley?
[Ava Sharpe has joined the chat]
Ava Sharpe: You asked me.
Captain/Sara: And imagine my surprise when I realized it wasn't you
[❤️Zari❤️has joined the chat]
[B-Eazy has joined the chat]
B-Eazy: oh is this today’s mystery to kill time while we travel forever
cleaning isn’t even bad
Captain/Sara: I was just WONDERING
[Nate has joined the chat]
Captain/Sara: That’s what I thought you wildcard you
Ava Sharpe: Seriously? You never clean anything but the library. Are you that bored?
Nate: No one else is around and 🎉😶☔️okay???
❤️Zari❤️: Oh come ON.
B-Eazy: dude we only know like six words of john’s emoji code that’s cheating
Ava Sharpe: “Words”
Nate: I mean you’d know it all if you read my historical-linguistic analysis of Johnlang.
Sara: It is literally 100 pages long it’s easier to ask you
Nate: 🍆
Sara: Ok I know enough to know that’s not what eggplant means
Isn’t eggplant just confirmation of an interpretation
Nate: 🍆
B-Eazy: i mean i guess he could’ve been confirming your interpretation of how it’s totes reasonable for only one person on this ship to know johnlang
also when did 🍆 stop meaning dick…
❤️Zari❤️: When Mr. Hocus Pocus decided it meant ~confirmation of an interpretation and didn’t gaf when its actual meaning was explained to him.
Sara: Why can nothing be normal
Nate: Normal is overrated remember?
Sara: …
💋
Nate: Exactly.
❤️Zari❤️: Also lol Nate.
Nate: Why are you loling at me?
❤️Zari❤️: Because you thought we’d forget that you answered the question because we'd give up
Guess your mistake.
No, guess
Nate: ………….What was my mistake?
❤️Zari❤️: You forgot there’s someone else on this ship who reads fluent Johnlang.
B-Eazy: wait who
❤️Zari❤️: JOHN, you dummy. JOHN, who is with me right now.
B-Eazy: ew
❤️Zari❤️: Don’t be a child. And here I thought you were ~such a grown-up, B
B-Eazy: omg it was a joke i know you guys bang EVERYONE knows you guys bang
❤️Zari❤️: Please stop saying we bang
ANYWAY
Why would you not just tell us you’re sad and lonely, Nate?
Ava Sharpe: Aw! Nate!
Nate: I DON’T KNOW maybe because it sounds pathetic and I want to be chill? So it was easier to just get it out in the groupchat which is where we’ve been communicating as a team FOR LITERALLY DAYS even though we live on the same ship!
Look
There’s just not that much going on with me. Everyone’s doing their own thing and I get it, I do my own thing too, but a lot of the time my own thing is just literally being on my own lying in my bed alone with no one next to me FOR OBVIOUS REASONS and I miss her and would it kill us to have a movie night?
Ok I thought all of that would sound less needy and sad written down.
[MICK has joined the chat]
MICK: IT SOUNDS MORE NEEDY AND SAD.
Nate: I realize that now.
I mean to be fair my life is kind of needy and sad.
Ava Sharpe: Are you drunk right now? It sounds a little like you’re drunk right now.
B-Eazy: he’s a sad drunk
also kind of unreasonable we do too spend time together
you always make everything sound 100000 times worse when you’re drunk
Nate: I’m a little drunk.
MICK: YOULL REGRET THIS IN THE MORNING PRETTY.
BUT I WAS GOING TO WATCH TAKEN AND DRINK.
Nate: Wait are you inviting me to watch Taken and drink?
MICK: AND BE SINGLE AND ALONE
Nate: That part kind of went without saying but I’ll let it go.
Captain/Sara: I’m also kind of jonesing to watch something stupid
Ava Sharpe: I’m not, but let’s have a movie night.
❤️Zari❤️: John’s down. Or he'll be down, I'm sure, as long as he can just read the whole time.
I'm down too.
Nate: You know you don’t have to feel any guilt for being like the other Zari you deserve to be here and she made her choice and I respect that and I respect you and I love B he’s my bro
❤️Zari❤️: I mean I wasn’t feeling any guilt until right now at this moment.
B-Eazy: me neither
Nate: I’m so glad you’re not dead
MICK: NOW HES AN I LOVE YOU DRUNK.
STOP.
Nate: ilu and contain multitudes. We all do. :,-)
MICK: DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A MOVIE NIGHT OR NOT?
IM DONE WITH THIS THING IT TAKES TOO LONG TO TYPE.
B-Eazy: is it because you have giant sausage fingers?
MICK: YES.
[MICK has left the chat]
Nate: Movie night!!!
❤️Zari❤️: I just looked Taken up and it sounds very stupid.
B-Eazy: wow there were a lot of them
sequels were really a thing back then
❤️Zari❤️: But I’ll watch it anyway (so will John). Or I’ll pretend to watch it and paint my nails instead.
Ava Sharpe: Yeah, so will I. Without the nail-painting.
❤️Zari❤️: Wait are you sure??? Because I found suuuuch a good color for you it’s #fierce
Ava Sharpe: Fine, you can paint my nails.
❤️Zari❤️: Yay!
[❤️Zari❤️has left the chat]
Ava Sharpe: Why is it so hard to say no to her?
Captain/Sara: She IS an influencer
[Ava Sharpe has left the chat]
Captain/Sara: Happy now, Nate?
Nate: Yes
Captain/Sara: But I’m cutting you off
Nate: That’s fair.
[Captain/Sara has left the chat]
B-Eazy: ok let’s do this
together
as a family
was that cheesy
Nate: Yes I love you
[B-Eazy has left the chat]
Nate: :-)
[Nate has left the chat]
…
NO MEMBERS ACTIVE