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Walking down 29th and Park
I saw you in another's arms
Only a month we've been apart
You look happier
He couldn't help seeing them everywhere. At UA, in the streets, stores, even near his apartment block. Everywhere Aizawa looked, the apartment still had small bits of Hizashi within, tucked away in nooks and crannies. Just the other day, he found a small charm Hizashi had lost a while before their break up. A month since then. A month since Aizawa single handedly ruined the best thing in his life. Hizashi's new partner always seemed to be able to make him happy. He never wore a frown around them.
Saw you walk inside a bar
He said something to make you laugh
I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours
Yeah, you look happier, you do
Of course, they'd end up at the same bar he was in. It was like the universe was trying to fuck with him. Trying to dangle his mistakes in his face, saying "look, he's happy, and it's not with you, because you screwed up".
Aizawa couldn't help but clutch the bottle in his hands tighter at the sound of Hizashi's laughter. He looked up and the two were smiling widely. He couldn't remember either himself or Hizashi smiling like that. At least, not him, anyway. Hizashi always smiled, even when he didn't feel like it.
Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you
But ain't nobody love you like I do
Promise that I will not take it personal, baby
If you're moving on with someone new
He could barely remember that night. All he remembered was screaming and shouting, erasing Hizashi's quirk multiple times, his eyes stinging, though whether it was from the dry eye or fighting the onslaught of tears trying to escape, he didn't want to know.
Then, he just said "We're done." He remembered Hizashi going silent on his own, for once, then grabbing his keys and leaving. Later, he'd get a text from Nemuri. He wouldn't bother to explain until a week later. For that moment, he'd just curl up on the bed, clutching the pillow on what was Hizashi's side of the bed.
Despite not quite remembering, he still knew he'd said some really hurtful things to Hizashi. He had seen it in the tears that gathered in his eyes and spilled over, leaving tracks along his face, in the way his eyes dimmed and his body stooped.
'Cause baby you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I'll feel it too
And until then I'll smile to hide the truth
But I know I was happier with you
Nemuri kept telling him that one day, he'd find someone to love, someone to help him get over Hiazashi. Aizawa agreed out loud, but hid his pain at the thought of not loving Hizashi anymore. He didn't want to. He knew no matter how many partners he'd have after, he would only have been truly happy with Hizashi.
Sat on the corner of the room
Everything's reminding me of you
Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you're happier
Aren't you?
UA's yearly staff party was in full swing. But without Hizashi, Aizawa just wasn't feeling it. He occupied a corner of the room, watching Hizashi with his partner, who he'd brought along to meet his friends.
No matter how hard he tried, Aizawa couldn't keep his eyes and mind off the loud blonde. And boy, did he try. Even scrolling through his phone, looking at cats didn't derive his mind off its thought path of Hizashi.
Aizawa could remember back to when Hizashi would drag him to the party, year after year, without fail. He'd make him do the most ridiculous stuff, like dancing and mingling. Now though, Aizawa found himself wishing he'd been more grateful for it.
Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you
But ain't nobody need you like I do
I know that there's others that deserve you
But my darling, I am still in love with you
Time passed, until Hizashi and his partner were on their third anniversary. And Shouta was still painfully alone, with only his memories of Hizashi to keep him company. In his memories, it was always "Sho", while in the real world, it was always "Eraserhead" or "Aizawa".
But I guess you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I'd feel it too
I could try to smile to hide the truth
I know I was happier with you
Aizawa was at least a bit happier when Hizashi proposed being friends again, instead of avoiding each other. And he felt especially lucky when Hizashi asked him to be his best man, even if his world stopped for a moment, like a needle scratching a record.
Hizashi's partner didn't deserve him, just as Aizawa didn't. But Hizashi deserved someone who could love him unconditionally. So, Aizawa bore the pain, even if it was like his heart was being put through a shredder every time Hizashi got that dopey grin on his face talking about them.
Baby, you look happier, you do
I knew one day you'd fall for someone new
But if he breaks your heart like lovers do
Just know that I'll be waiting here for you
The wedding day approached too quickly for Aizawa's liking. The ceremony itself was both too quick and not fast enough. He wanted a little while more to kid himself that he still had a chance, but at the same time, just wanted to get this over and done with so he could go home and mope.
He wasn't even allowed to leave the reception, when Hizashi asked if he was staying with those beautiful green eyes, Aizawa couldn't help but say he was. He saw the pitiful looks Yagi and Nemuri shot him, but tried his hardest to keep his mask up. He could do it. He had to. He couldn't ruin Hizashi's special day like this.
When it was time for the dances, Hizashi and his partner took to the floor, twirling with grace and joy. Yagi came over to Aizawa as he watched the two, the void of pain and jealousy growing ever deeper.
"You'll find your happiness, friend." The skeletal man tried to encourage.
"I don't think I'll ever really get over him. But, if him being in someone else's arms is what makes him happy, then I can live with it." Came a mutter, so quiet that one would have to strain their ears to hear him.
Aizawa pretended not to see the soft pitying look he was getting, instead choosing to watch Hizashi as he danced with his partner and talked with family and friends. Yeah, he could live with it. As long as Hizashi was happy.