Work Text:
Ever since he can remember, Akaashi has been able to feel a pulling sensation. Sometimes the pulling felt more like a push; as if someone were behind him, pushing his shoulders towards a direction every few minutes. Other times Akaashi could almost feel his hand being grabbed and then pulled; like how his parents grabbed his hand tightly when they were walking down a busy sidewalk, in fear of losing him.
The pull would come and go and since Akaashi had no explanation for it, he never bothered making sense out of it. Some time during middle school when the topic of Soulmates was brought up, Akaashi considered the possibilities. He knows that a lot of people claim to feel a pull towards their soulmate, he even knows of a few bonds that work like magnets and eventually soulmates are pulled together. Akaashi doesn’t have a physical bond so perhaps the pulling he feels can be his bond.
At that thought, Akaashi considers letting himself be pulled. He wonders how far the pull will take him. He wonders if there will be someone waiting wherever the pulling ends. But all that wondering just ends up scaring him, so Akaashi lives on, welcoming the pull but never letting it lead him somewhere Akaashi is not ready to go.
It’s on his first year of high school that Akaashi’s thinks he unknowingly followed the pulling when he meets the eyes of Konoha Akinori. Soulmate. He thinks when the second year calmly assesses him after Akaashi agrees to help Bokuto practice his spikes. Akaashi’s gut turns and his heart pounds and his hands begin to itch with a desire to reach out. Akaashi waits then, for the magnetic effect he has read about. He waits for the inevitable. For some sort of greater reveal.
But it doesn’t come and instead Akaashi’s right hand tickles and then, then seemingly out of nowhere, Akaashi looks down and watches as a little red string ties itself around his pinky.
Akaashi thinks he hears Bokuto shout something to the coach about cleaning up later. Akaashi thinks he hears someone warn Bokuto to take it easy on the first year. Akaashi thinks that perhaps he can still feel Konoha’s eyes on him as Akaashi’s entire world is turned upside down. Eventually Akaashi manages to breathe in and allow his eyes to rest on the string the starts from his pinky and travels all the way to the door of the gym, slowly losing its colour until Akaashi can’t see it.
He practices with Bokuto for longer than ‘a bit’. He goes home with a sore body and an aching heart; his mind going a mile a minute. He barely catches any sleep that night, he is too busy trying to find all the information he can on the red string of fate.
Within a week, Akaashi comes to term with the situation. It caught him completely by surprise. In his younger years he never once considered the possibility of having such a prominent bond. The red string of fate is the dream bond. One of the first bonds to ever have physical records. There are books upon books of information on it, yet Akaashi doesn’t think he has ever heard of a string appearing randomly. Most people are usually born with it. That’s the only irregularity Akaashi can find in his bond, everything else matches the textbook information.
The string is attached to the pinky of his dominant hand. The string is only visible to him. It’s a bright red colour, showing itself when Akaashi focuses his eyes on it. Akaashi can touch the string. He can play with it. He can make knots. If he really wanted to, he could probably follow it all the way until the end.
He could follow it until he finds the person on the other end. A person he knows can’t be Konoha.
So why.
Why does Akaashi’s heart pound every time their eyes meet? Why does he get nervous when Konoha is close? Why does it become hard to breathe when Konoha calls out his name? When he seeks out Akaashi to offer his help in finding rest from Bokuto’s endless practices? Why does Akaashi have a red string—the most perfect bond to exist—leading him to the unknown, when everything Akaashi thinks he has ever wanted, is standing at arms reach?
It’s with those feelings growing over time that sometime in the last few days of his first year, Akaashi begins to think that maybe soulmates are not perfect inevitable unions.
(Maybe, there was a mistake. His mind whispers just as Konoha places an arm over Akaashi’s shoulders, “you’re really getting better at these sets, Akaashi.”
Akaashi bits his tongue to prevent an embarrassing sound from coming out. “Thank you, Konoha-san.”
Konoha smiles his way, ruffles his hair fondly, and steps away.)
Then it’s sometime during the inter-high tournament in his second year that Akaashi is becoming more and more convinced fate made a mistake.
(“I don’t know how you do it.” Konoha says, offering Akaashi a water bottle before sitting down next to him to stretch.
“Bokuto-san is sometimes easy to understand.” Akaashi explains, knowing well Konoha is referring to Akaashi’s occasional ability to aid Bokuto in snapping out of his negative moods.
“Or, you’re just amazing.” Konoha retorts and Akaashi’s heart soars.)
Finally, it’s before the spring tournament that Akaashi feels fully convinced that soulmates are a faux. This time though, he has proof greater than Akaashi’s own confusing feelings.
It happens when Bokuto comes to practice with an expression Akaashi has never witnessed.
It’s easy keeping a number of facts of his ace. It’s easy learning his habits, learning what makes him tick. Akaashi enjoys playing volleyball, even more so when everyone is at their best— when Bokuto can freely fly and spike to his heart’s content.
What is he suppose to do when Bokuto expresses misery beyond volleyball? He plays normally— his form perfect, his jumps timed properly, his spikes strong and precise. But nothing changes the expression on his face. Numb. Akaashi thinks, hating to have to associate that word with someone like Bokuto.
Kuroo comes by that day. Akaashi notices him lingering outside the gym, hands nervously holding the pass the school probably gave him to allow him inside. Akaashi looks at him curiously and Kuroo meets his eyes and points towards Konoha. Somehow Akaashi manages to understand his signalling and goes to grab Konoha. Akaashi doesn’t remember what excuse he gives their coach but he does remember Shirofuku backing him up, expanding on his excuse to get everyone’s attention so that he and Konoha can sneak out and meet Kuroo outside the gym.
“What’s going on?” Konoha asks, concern evident once the three of them stand away from prying eyes. His name hasn’t been said but the three of them know well who they will be talking about.
“Tsukki called me the other day.” Kuroo starts, hesitating to continue and Akaashi instantly worries more. Kuroo is not one to treat topics carefully. He always speaks his mind. He doesn’t hesitate. “He was invited to participate in some rookie training camp for his prefecture. Shiratorizawa hosted the camp.” Konoha and Akaashi say nothing, patiently waiting for Kuroo to get to the point. “I guess he overheard a few people talking about soulmates and... he made a connection.”
“Kuroo.” Konoha stresses, arms crossed as he waits for Kuroo to get to the point.
“He found Bokuto’s soulmates.” Kuroo says and Akaashi feels his own eyes widen.
There is a second of silence before Konoha clicks his tongue. “And?”
“They. They seem to have rejected him.” Kuroo states and Akaashi feels the heat from his body leave. “At least one of them. The one Tsukki spoke to. I told Tsukki not to bother informing the other one.” A pause. “I told Bo last night.”
Akaashi can’t think of a single thing to say. He spends the rest of the conversation lost in his thoughts. He thinks he hears Konoha ask about them. Ask who it is. He sounds angry, on the verge of travelling to Miyagi to ‘make things right.’ The anger in his voice reminds Akaashi of how caring Konoha is. It reminds Akaashi that regardless of all the teasing and the contempt he often shows Bokuto, Konoha considers him a friend, and he would do almost anything for him.
Akaashi himself feels like there is something he should be doing for Bokuto. How do I make this right? What do I say? He thinks about Bokuto, thinks about his hunger and enthusiasm for volleyball. Thinks about his easy going personality, his wide smile, his unwavering stance. Of his desire to have fun— he thinks about the times Bokuto spoke of his soulmates, always looking ahead, pass the pain to yearn for someone he could embrace and comfort. It seems so unfair. It doesn’t seem right.
Akaashi feels a pull later that night and thinks, I don’t want my soulmate. But even that thought doesn't settle well with him.
It’s all so confusing. A part of him wants to scream at Bokuto’s soulmates. He wants to make them see what they are missing out on. He wants for something to happen so that Bokuto’s soulmates can do the right thing. But then he thinks of the way his heart seems to yearn for Konoha. Konoha who so obviously respects the concept of soulmates. Konoha’s eyes burn every time Bokuto expresses sadness over his soulmates and Akaashi always hears him comfort him. Hears him tell Bokuto that ‘they are idiots.’ But ‘give it time.’ And ‘Fate is never wrong.’
And thats when another part of Akaashi scream at him that everyone has a choice. That maybe soulmate bonds aren’t perfect. That there is a reason for why Bokuto’s soulmates made the choices they made.
There is a reason why Akaashi thinks that maybe he can risk a small confession.
But when Akaashi thinks about Konoha, thinks about the possibilities—his string becomes restless. The pull becomes stronger. The red shines brighter.
(Shut up. Akaashi sometimes thinks to himself, his eyes on the red string.)
His second year slowly comes to an end. They make it to the finals but they lose the spring tournament. At least Bokuto seems to shift his focus entirely back to volleyball. “I’m okay.” He says. “I’m over it.” Akaashi hears the pain coated in those words. He then thinks about the pain Bokuto’s soulmates can probably feel and are probably ignoring. How cruel.
The next few weeks go by quickly. The third years graduate and Akaashi has to say goodbye to a great part of his team. He has to say goodbye to Konoha. His heart hurts a little because there are words he wants to say, there is something he wants to try. But thinking about Bokuto keeps him from doing something reckless. Whether he likes it or not, Akaashi accepts that there is a life tied to his. Whatever choice he makes, whatever decision, even if he thinks it’s the right one, someone else will be affected.
Instead…
“I want to be selfish.” He finds himself whispering, loud enough that Konoha hears him. He turns to face him and Akaashi sees him tilt his head in confusion. The rest of the third years are further up ahead, dragging along the first years and second years of the team with their certificates in hand as they continue to boast about their graduation. “Is that so wrong?”
Konoha watches him and Akaashi thinks he sees his eyes drop to his lips. His heart accelerates and his mind screams ‘what if?’ “Sometimes, being selfish is necessary.” Konoha says taking a step forward. Akaashi meets his eyes and he hopes Konoha can see through them. “Sometimes being selfish wont even benefit you.” Akaashi wonders if Konoha ever figured it out. He wonders if he knew all along. He wonders if perhaps he too, felt as conflicted as Akaashi. He takes a step forward and Konoha blinks. “But I never took you as a selfish person, Keiji.”
Thankfully, Konoha turns away then. That way he doesn’t get to see Akaashi’s sad smile and that one treacherous tear slowly making its way down his cheek.
At the end of the day, after a meal at a random ramen place, Bokuto hugs the entire team. The first years and the two others second years apart from Akaashi, watch him in awe. Completely captivated by the enigma that Bokuto is. His smile is at its brightest as he reminds them they need to take revenge and win the next tournament. Komi and Washio give them actual advice on volleyball and school. Sarukui fondly reminds them to have fun and Konoha says something about listening to the captain before he taps Akaashi’s shoulder. “Good luck.” He tells him.
Akaashi silently responds with thank you and goodbye.
On Akaashi’s first week of his third year of high school, the string gets thicker. He spends a whole day doing research and he even schedules an appointment with a specialist. A week later and he still doesn’t know what it means. But its Akaashi’s third year so school work doubles, and now as captain of the volleyball team he holds more responsibilities. He doesn’t have time to spend on his thoughts.
He doesn’t have time to let his feelings eat at his heart and mind.
He doesn’t have time to yearn.
(He does. He just rather live in ignorance.)
The days pass. Weeks pass. Months pass. Akaashi’s third year of high school passes by like a breeze. He doesn’t make many memories out of it, school and volleyball take up most of his time. He has fun, he does well, his heart only ever hurts when he thinks a little too much about the string on his pinky and of the friend he sometimes wishes he could call out to.
Every once in a while he contemplates the possibilities of different outcomes. He considers what the pulling really means and if the person attached to his string ever feels it the way Akaashi does. He wonders if fate is pulling and if maybe the other person is like Akaashi, trying to ignore the pull. They must be. Why else hasn’t Akaashi met them?
That’s the thing with the red string of fate. It’s such an easy bond. It would be so easy for Akaashi to follow his string all the way to the end. Many people have written their experiences; many have stated that once you make the conscious decision to follow the string, you will make it to your soulmate. Even if you have to travel land, even if you have to go past the sea, even if your destination is an obscure location you’ve never even heard of.
His soulmate is obviously making the conscious decision to not seek him out. That has to mean something right? Did you make a choice? Akaashi remembers thinking about that possibility to the point of exhaustion. He hates to admit that even though he occasionally considers making a choice against fate, he would hate it if his soulmate did the same.
On his last week of school, Akaashi spends a lot of time thinking about his future. With a general idea of what he is going to do the following years, Akaashi has to plan ahead. He knows that volleyball is something he is going to leave behind. He knows he wants to follow literature. He already knows what university he will assist. He likes to be prepared so it’s no surprise that he ends up stressing about little details and taking an impromptu trip to his university.
Years later, Akaashi wonders if fate had this all planned. He wonders how on such a normal day, Akaashi somehow found himself face to face with the person fate picked out for him.
Akaashi meets the person on the other end of his string on a train.
Time doesn’t stop. His breath isn’t taken away. His heart doesn’t accelerate. Akaashi doesn’t feel his whole world being shaken. But it is somewhat movie like, the way their eyes meet. One moment Akaashi is focused on the blurry view outside the window and the next, he is caught sinking deep into brown orbs.
The eye contact probably lasts five seconds before both of them look down. The red string thats often going all the way down to the floor as it extends towards some direction is now firmly connected from one pinky to the other without touching the floor. It almost looks like a guitar string, perhaps if Akaashi were to flick it, some sound would come out.
Would that make this moment more memorable?
Akaashi can’t think of what to do. For the first time in a while, his mind is clear. At one point, when the train begins to stop, Akaashi thinks his body might make a decision without processing it with his mind. So be it.
The train comes to a stop and Akaashi once again meets his soulmate's eyes. Dark brown eyes stare back. People around them move. The train is almost empty by the time the doors close. Once it beings moving again, his soulmate finally takes a step towards Akaashi.
Then another.
Then another.
Calm. Stay calm. Akaashi thinks, eyes trailing down to the string that gets shorter and shorter with every step his soulmate takes. Eventually, the string is barely a few inches long. Akaashi takes a deep breath before he finds the strength to meet the eyes of his soulmate one more time.
His eyes are truly dark. Akaashi ponders. Short hair. Firm jawline. Mouth in a straight line— He is angry. Uninterested. Unimpressed. “Iwaizumi Hajime.” His soulmate introduces himself, with barely any emotion. Akaashi can’t help but think there is something wrong. Is this really what fate wants?
“Akaashi Keiji.” He replies with a similar tone, the tension starting to feel heavier around him. “It’s nice meeting you, Iwaizumi-san.” He adds, politely.
Iwaizumi observes him. He mouths a few words and balances his weight from one foot to the other. He looks nervous, but Akaashi can’t be too sure. He is hard to read. If anything, his eyebrows are the biggest tell. He is angry. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t want me.
It’s okay. Akaashi thinks, opening his mouth to say just that. Maybe it will be enough to put everything to rest.
“Akaashi-san.” Iwaizumi calls out. “Can I take you out for coffee?”
Inwardly, Akaashi thinks every single one of his cells haywires. On the outside, he manages to nod. He also catches the corner of Iwaizumi’s mouth turn a millimetre upwards. It’s the start of a smile. Akaashi tries to dismiss it as fluke.
He is wrong.
By the end of the night, when both their cups of coffee are empty, when the moon is high up in the sky, when most of the stores around them are closing, Akaashi gets to watch the softest smile form itself without contempt on Iwaizumi’s face.
That night, he falls asleep refusing to allow his mind to rest on any thought concerning Iwaizumi Hajime. When he wakes up, he is incapable of thinking of anything but Iwaizumi Hajime.
That night, they exchanged numbers.
Then, days pass.
They begin talking regularly. Sometimes, Akaashi is even the first one to reach for his phone.
(“Is this a bad time?” Akaashi will always ask.
“It’s never a bad time.” Iwaizumi responds, Akaashi can hear the smile on his tone.)
Weeks pass.
They begin seeing each other often. Akaashi finishes his exams and lets Iwaizumi pick him up from school. They go on dates. Akaashi shows Iwaizumi around the city, even though he has been living in Tokyo for the past year.
(“This is my favourite tree from the National Garden.” Akaashi silently confesses, following Iwaizumi as he takes a seat on the ground besides said tree.
“It’s sturdy.” Iwaizumi responds fondly, the scarf around his neck hiding his blush when he tilts his head downwards. Akaashi is a little jealous, considering his own blush is on full display.)
Months pass.
They work. Somehow they work. Somehow Akaashi comes to stare at the string tying them together and he doesn’t feel the need rip it to shreds.
(“I like when you are concentrating.” Iwaizumi claims, his eyes focused on Akaashi’s working hands as he tries to untangle the knots Iwaizumi created while Akaashi organized his school work. As a response, Akaashi pulls at the string, enjoying the way Iwaizumi’s hand is pulled forward causing him to lose his footing. “Hey!” He laughs, grabbing the string and stretching it out so he can wrap it around Akaashi’s waist.
“You’re making more knots—“ Akaashi cuts himself off, eyes resting on his soulmate’s kind expression.
“I’ve got you.” Iwaizumi declares, leaning forward to press their foreheads together.)
And that—
That scares Akaashi.
It terrifies him. It has him waking up in cold sweat on more than one occasion. It eats at his head and mind until Akaashi thinks his entire being is being torn apart. And all because he is finally coming to terms with how much of a fool he has been.
So many hours, so many days, so many months, three years— all wasted on entertaining doubts and unnecessary denigration towards his bond.
His mind gets so overwhelmed with regret that he ends up breaking down to Iwaizumi. Akaashi can hear himself explain all his emotions, can hear himself tell Iwaizumi all about his first two years of high school, he can hear himself say Konoha’s name with a stutter, can hear the tremble in his voice when he says the words choice, mistake, bond, fate— but he can’t stop. His mouth wont stop. Why can’t he stop? Surely Iwaizumi doesn’t want to hear this. Surely, this will only tear them apart—
It doesn’t.
Akaashi eventually lets out everything and Iwaizumi is still there. He is still holding his hands. The red string is still carefully wrapped around their pinkies. They are still connected. He is not looking at Akaashi with disgust, something Akaashi can’t really understand because he feels disgusting.
“You have nothing to apologize for.” Iwaizumi tells him, gently caressing his fingers. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I could have.”
“You didn’t.” Iwaizumi stresses. “Akaashi, there is nothing to regret.”
“How can you just—“
“I’m not going to sit here and tell you I understand.” Iwaizumi cuts him off. “There is a part of me thats angry right now, but that’s just because I’m short tempered and sometimes stupidly driven by useless emotions like jealousy.” Akaashi is momentarily taken aback by that statement. At the tip of his tongue he has a million defences but Iwaizumi is talking before he can say anything. “I’ve never considered rejecting my bond.” Akaashi feels his entire body go numb. “But I wont hold that against you.” Iwaizumi’s tone drops and Akaashi thinks he sees something else there in those words, something not related to them.
He doesn’t ask. Instead, he holds Iwaizumi’s hands tighter. “Hajime-kun.” Akaashi starts, grabbing his soulmate’s attention as he pulls him out of whatever trance. “I’m deeply sorry—“
“Like I said.” Iwaizumi interrupts. “You have nothing to apologize for.” Akaashi searches deeply in Iwaizumi’s eyes, hoping to see the truth in his words. Hoping to find it in himself to believe him. “The only thing that matters now, is us.”
There are many things Akaashi wants to say to that but the string connecting them catches his eyes and the red seems to shine with some sort of vigour.
They drop the topic. Surprisingly, Akaashi feels like he can breathe a little easier going forward.
After that day, something changes between them.
Akaashi likes to think it’s as if a blockage was removed. He likes to visualize that his own insecurities and worries were washed away with Iwaizumi’s kind eyes, gentle touch and forgiving lips.
They continue to learn about each other. They continue to grow. Their lives start meshing together— it’s like pieces of the puzzle are being pulled together. Akaashi himself feels like the pulling he feels is now a comfortable presence, highlighting the way to the path he unknowingly seeks.
His first year of university is almost done and Iwaizumi is weeks away from travelling back to America. He is going to finish his schooling in California and then he will return to start his career. They spend nights talking about it, about how the distance may change things. On how the distance will also mean nothing, since the red string that ties them together seems to be the answer to everything.
(“California is far away.” Akaashi mumbles.
Iwaizumi kisses his cheek. “It is.”
“My English is not the best.”
“Keiji.” Iwaizumi groans. “Please answer my question.”
Do you want to be my boyfriend? It’s such a silly question. “Im going to get lonely.”
“Keiji.”
Akaashi leans in to kiss him. He says yes somewhere in between their kisses.)
He ends up meeting Iwaizumi’s friends sometime during the weeks Iwaizumi spends preparing to travel. Iwaizumi always talks about them so Akaashi has time to prepare ahead of time. He gets along with them. Hanamaki and Matsukawa are kind and easy going people, they remind him of Bokuto and Komi. While Iwaizumi’s juniors are like Onaga, shy but confident; they show great respect for Iwaizumi just like Onaga shows respect to all his seniors.
Akaashi also gets to learn more about Iwaizumi’s best friend. He lives in Argentina, working towards his career as a professional volleyball player. Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi says and Akaashi thinks that name means something but he can’t quite figure it out.
In turn, the opportunity finally presents itself and Akaashi is dragging Iwaizumi along to meet his own friends. Komi and Sarukui organize the event. A get together at a karaoke bar. Bokuto messages Akaashi with a list of songs he wants Akaashi to memorize so they can sing together. He also promises Akaashi to give everyone a talk, teasingly stating he will warn them to be on their best behaviour. “Especially Konoha.”
It’s the first time in a while that Akaashi finds himself thinking about him. His mind surprisingly, doesn’t have much to say.
Akaashi doesn’t worry about the day. He lets Iwaizumi hold his hand as they meet up with Komi and Sarukui outside the Karaoke bar. His friends are welcoming and way too excited about a night out but Akaashi doesn’t blame them, the exam period has just started so if anything he is just thankful they made the time.
After a few minutes Bokuto and Washio arrive together, both of them wearing track suits which prompts Komi to whine about not being invited to whatever gym adventure the two partook in. Soon after, Shirofuku and Suzumeda are joining them, followed by Onaga and Anahori before Konoha finally makes it, just in time to witness Bokuto cling unto Iwaizumi’s shoulders as he drags him inside their room, demanding they sing a duet.
Konoha greets Akaashi with a smile before he leans over and whispers something about giving Bokuto a beating if Akaashi wants him to. Akaashi finds himself laughing while he thinks. We are okay. Everything is okay.
They spend two hours in the Karaoke bar and it would have been three had they not been kicked out because Bokuto and Konoha accidentally broke one of the microphones when they began fighting for it. Akaashi apologizes profoundly to the owner while Iwaizumi grumbles about it now even being their fault. “They should just get better mics.”
Shirofuku makes a comment about ‘fate’ and ‘opposites’ and ‘karma’ while Komi and Sukurui drag Iwaizumi along, encouraging his indignant mumbling.
Akaashi watches on dumbfound. Washio has to snap him out of it with a light tap on his back.
But the night is still not over and Akaashi couldn’t be happier because—
He fits right in.
Iwaizumi. He really… he just… soulmate. Fate. Inevitable. His friends welcome him and there is not a single tense muscle in any of them. There is only laughter and smiles and if this isn’t the biggest proof of how the universe works—
(Akaashi stops that thought when his eyes fall on Bokuto. He swallows, mentally apologizing to Bokuto for his insensitivity.)
As fate will have it, they end up talking about volleyball. Of course they talk about volleyball. Somehow Komi brings it up and Washio and Bokuto share their progress in starting their respective professional careers and then they are looking at Iwaizumi and Suzumeda is asking him if he is comfortable hearing the volleyball nerds ramble on and Iwaizumi just stares at her before he chuckles and says he doesn’t mind.
“I used to play.” He then tells them and they lose it. Bokuto especially when he finds out Iwaizumi was the ace.
“Let’s play!” Bokuto is saying, “Akaashi you’ll set for me right!?”
“I think he would rather set for his soulmate.” Konoha cuts in to further Bokuto’s affronted “Akaashi!”
They make it somehow to a gym from Washio’s university. Akaashi is not surprised when he pulls out the keys. They are all dressed in jeans and dress-shirts apart from Washio and Bokuto but they think little about it. It takes them just a few minutes to set up the net and then they split into teams and they play.
Later Konoha whines to him about his sore arms while Washio and Iwaizumi arm wrestle on the floor. The rest of his friends forming a circle around them to cheer them on with so much excitement Akaashi starts to wonder if its normal to have this much energy this late at night.
“His spikes are just as bad as Bokuto’s! You know I hate receiving those. You should have told me so I picked your team instead.”
Akaashi chuckles. “But then you would have been receiving Bokuto-san’s spikes.”
Konoha groans into his hands just when Iwaizumi pushes Washio’s hand flat against the floor.
“Akaashi!” Bokuto yells out “Your soulmate is scary!”
Akaashi smiles fondly, enjoying the sight of Iwaizumi’s cheeks darkening as the rest of his friends praise his muscles. Akaashi is glad to see the honesty in all their eyes. He is glad that they mean every word they say to his soulmate. He is glad that they think he is amazing, just like Akaashi knows it to be true.
Iwaizumi seems a little overwhelmed, but he seems to have his friends figured out. He accepts their praises and easily follows up whatever conversation they start. He even happily answers all their questions, from the personal ones that has Akaashi glaring their way, to the ones about volleyball. Some questions that even Akaashi hasn’t gotten to ask.
“Were you ever at nationals?” Komi ends up asking when Shirofuku starts whining about it being late and in need of some snack. Sarukui says something about ice cream and they all begin to move as Iwaizumi shrugs his shoulders and faces Komi to answer his question.
“Nope. My team always lost against Shiratorizawa.” Iwaizumi explains. “Our last year we lost to Karasuno.”
“Karasuno?” Komi asks, slightly surprised. “Those Damn crows!“ Akaashi finds himself silently agreeing as he remembers that Iwaizumi is from the Miyagi prefecture. He doesn’t think he told his friends that.
He turns to watch the rest of their reactions and abruptly freezes when he is met with the sight of a worried Washio, a thoughtful Konoha and a shocked Bokuto. Akaashi thinks he feels the temperature in the room drop as Bokuto takes a step towards Iwaizumi and asks: “What school did you go to?”
“Aoba Johsai.” Iwaizumi responds and Akaashi watches the way Bokuto’s expression changes. His eyes lose the brightness and his lip twist in a way Akaashi is not used to seeing. In a way that reminds him of that one day in high school when Kuroo came to tell them about Bokuto’s—
“Bokuto-san.” Akaashi manages to say, eyes widening as he realizes the possibilities of the worst outcome.
“You must know that asshole then.” Konoha cuts in and Akaashi is surprised with the way his eyes burn.
Akaashi begins to feel something horrible twist inside him.
“Konoha—“ Washio tries interrupting but Konoha is already stepping forward, meeting Iwaizumi’s confused expression. Akaashi himself is trying to get his body to move. To do something. To stop whatever bomb is about to go off.
“What was his name, again?” Konoha muses, eyes narrowing as he ignores Shirofuku’s warning call as well as Onaga’s hand on his shoulder. “Oh, thats right. Oikawa.” He says the name with disdain. “Do you know him?”
Iwaizumi’s expression instantly changes, as Akaashi expects it to. “That’s my best friend.” He states and the room seems to drop further in temperature. Konoha is momentarily shocked. Bokuto looks completely taken aback.
Konoha’s mouth hangs open. “Your best...”
“Konoha.” Bokuto says in a voice of a captain. He leaves no room for argument. “Drop it.”
“What’s going on?” Akaashi finally finds the words to speak even though his mind is already making the connection. He goes to stand by Iwaizumi who also looks confused but ready to defend his friend to his dying breath.
“What’s your issue with Oikawa?” Iwaizumi asks, his eyes on Bokuto before they settle on Konoha as he waits for an answer. Akaashi, without thought, reaches to hold Iwaizumi's hand, silently grabbing the string on his pinky as some sort of reassurance.
“Nothing.” Bokuto replies cutting off Konoha from saying anything. “There is no issue.” Konoha tries to say something but Washio holds him back. The hand Onaga has on his shoulder pats him a few times, trying to calm him down. Bokuto meets Iwaizumi’s eyes then. “He is just. He is one of my soulmates.”
Understanding quickly settles in Iwaizumi’s eyes.
Akaashi can now clearly picture the broken expression Bokuto wore that one day. “Bokuto-san.” He calls out, not sure what else to say.
Bokuto meets his eyes and smiles before he turns away. “Washio! We should clean up and close the gym before we get in trouble!” Bokuto is saying, his tone changing to the bright one they are all so used to.
He goes then, taking Washio and Komi with him to take down the net. Shirofuku and Suzumeda give Akaashi encouraging smiles before they excuse themselves to get everyone some drinks. Anahori ends up calling Onaga to get him to help with collecting the balls.
Sarukui moves to stand next to Konoha. He leans down, whispers something to him before Konoha is nodding along, and then he is raising his head and giving Akaashi an apologetic smile. His eyes fall on Iwaizumi’s frozen stature then, but before he can take a step forward Akaashi is moving to stand between them.
“You should get some air, Konoha-san.” He states and then gives him his back to fully focus on Iwaizumi. Sarukui echoes his request and Akaashi hears Konoha mumble his agreement.
Once they are gone, Akaashi lets one of his hand reach up to cup Iwaizumi’s face. Akaashi watches the string follow, dangling from Akaashi’s pinky all the way down to where Iwaizumi’s hand is gripping Akaashi’s other hand. “Keiji.” Iwaizumi whispers, with clear defeat.
“Don’t.” Akaashi tells him. “This isn’t your burden to carry.”
They talk that night, after they say goodbye to their friends.
Bokuto tries apologizing but none of them let him. When Iwaizumi opens his mouth to sneak in his own apology, Konoha cuts him off, claiming to have an exam early the next day and “This is all Akaashi’s fault! I always told you guys he was the worst influence. Look at him, getting us to drink and sing and play volleyball— my back is killing me! Haruki, carry me home!”
Shirofuku laughs while Komi snaps back, affronted. Sarukui fondly shakes his head while Onaga and Anahori giggle about childish seniors. Washio offers to give the girls a ride home before he is the first one to tell Iwaizumi it was a pleasure meeting him and—
Regardless of what happened, they all go their own way with a smile on their faces. (Even though he knows Bokuto’s smile is forced. At least Konoha and Washio look like they wont be leaving his side any time soon.)
The moment Akaashi and Iwaizumi reach Akaashi’s apartment, Iwaizumi breaks apart in Akaashi’s embrace.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He ways but Akaashi doesn’t understand.
“Hajime.” He calls out to him with a soft tone, unsure of what else to say. Eventually Iwaizumi stops apologizing and he begins to explain.
Akaashi listens, much like how all those months ago, Iwaizumi had listened to him cry about a high school crush and indignant doubts towards the unknown.
Iwaizumi has similar burdens.
He tells Akaashi about crappykawa— shittykawa— loserkawa— Tooru. My best friend. My platonic soulmate. (“Thats not a real thing, Hajime.” Akaashi teases. Iwaizumi snorts.) He tells Akaashi about how he saw Oikawa’s life turn to living hell after his father took his own life because he was incapable of dealing with his unbalanced bond.
Akaashi doesn’t know much about the topic, but from what Iwaizumi tells him, he knows it’s something he would never wish on anyone. It something he prays to never experience.
“Oikawa also has an unbalanced bond— you can’t tell Bokuto. He cant— Keiji—“
“I won’t.” Akaashi promises, sending Bokuto a silent apology.
“A part of me wants to believe that there will be a time in when Oikawa will come to his senses. I know there is a lot he needs to get over, and there is a lot of trauma he needs to heal from but— I just wish I could make him see how much easier things would be if he only— all he needs to do is try.”
“Time will always obey Fate.” Akaashi finds himself quoting a book he read a while ago, back in school. “All doesn’t seem lost yet.”
“It’s just— It’s different now. Now that I know Bokuto. I mean, I’ve known Ushijima for most of my life but I grew up resenting him due to school rivalries. Even after seeing him for a bit in America... it's different. It's not like today. It's not like— Keiji. Bokuto is— I just didn’t know what to say.”
“You’re not Oikawa.” You don’t have to apologize.
“I love Tooru. I have all my life. Not the way I love you. He is my—“
“Platonic soulmate.” Akaashi smiles, feeling his own tears gather in his eyes, not sure if its because of the seriousness in the conversation or because this is the first time Iwaizumi has confessed his love. “So you’ve said.”
“He is not a bad person.” Iwaizumi defends. “He is just confused. He is afraid. I wanted to tell Bokuto that. But how can I? He looked so broken.”
I don’t know what to say. Akaashi thinks to himself, unsure if there even is anything he can say. Is there anything we can do? He wonders, letting Iwaizumi curl himself in Akaashi's embrace. “Time.” Akaashi ends up whispering, hoping that answers something.
A few minutes later Iwaizumi responds by pulling the string that connects them. Akaashi meets his eyes and lets Iwaizumi lean for a kiss. They fall asleep, each of their hands tightly gripping their red string of fate.