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Happy Birthday, Brother

Summary:

Roman hadn’t left his room in a month, and he certainly wasn’t going to now just because it was his birthday. No one wanted to see him, not after everything that had happened.

OR

Roman finally confronts his problems after the new video. With some help, of course

Notes:

hi! this exists! projecting onto Roman? noooooooooooooo could not be me I've never done that before

leave a comment and a kudo if you liked haha

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

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Roman hadn’t left his room in a month, and he certainly wasn’t going to now just because it was his birthday. No one wanted to see him, not after everything that had happened.

Patton came around a few times the first week, pleading for him to open up, but he ignored it. Patton was wrong, Patton didn’t know, Patton had never known anything. All it took was an hour for everything they knew to come crumbling down, and over what? Basic moral principles of right and wrong? That was Patton’s entire job. Who was deceit to waltz in with his cape and crook and tell them everything they knew was wrong? That everything he was was…

And Patton had trusted him just like that. Of course, because the literal embodiment of lies was all of the sudden a beacon of truth just because he revealed his name. Logan was the first to reveal his name, and even Roman had to admit they didn’t exactly listen to him as much as they probably should. Why was Janus the exception, the golden child, all of the sudden? Had they forgotten that he’d impersonated Patton? Pushed literal logic to the side like he wasn’t important? Manipulated and made a fool of Roman just for fun?

He’d learned the hard way that Janus wasn’t to be trusted. Now suddenly he was the bad guy because Deceit had a cute name?

And maybe he’d had a few good points- Roman wasn’t so stubborn as not to admit that Patton might have been overworking Thomas- and Logan was there to back those statements up. Though if Logan hadn’t been thrown aside in the middle of the conversation, the message would’ve probably gotten through without all of the wading through lies and scams. Because so much of what he said wasn’t true. You couldn’t just always take care of yourself. Logan was as important to their conversations as anyone else. Roman wasn’t evil, Roman was the good one, the nice one, he was…

He wasn’t their hero.

That was one lie even he could detect.

That was one lie that was confirmed by the way Patton stopped knocking after a week. No one went looking for him again. No one cared.

After all, if he wasn’t the hero, what use was he? Without that, he was just the loud, impulsive, reckless one with no filter who’d much rather battle a dragon than be a good person.

Maybe Janus was right. Maybe he was the evil twin. Patton seemed to always be wrong about something these days. Maybe he’d grabbed the wrong creativity way back when they were just kids.

“Roro? Hey, Princess Penis, where are you?”

Roman started. Speak of the devil.

He was, in fact, perched up on one of the highest branches of the giant oak tree dotting his edge of the Imagination and had been there for some days now. Not that he was going to tell Remus that; he’d come in here for privacy, and his brother was the exact opposite of that.

After a minute, Remus appeared in his line of vision, looking strangely calm. He spun around, searching the room attached to the forest. It unsettled Roman much more than it should’ve to see his brother so collected. It felt off.

Sure enough, at that moment Remus lifted his mace high over his head and slammed it full force into the grass.

The entire forest trembled. The branch shook so hard that Roman lost his balance and toppled to the ground with a thud and a groan.

A voice giggled, and a shadow fell over him. “Rock-a-by, baby,” he sang, just enough off-key for it to be creepy.

“What do you want, Re?” Roman huffed. He wasn’t in the mood for any conversation, let alone with someone as chaotic and incoherent as his brother.

Though it was intriguing. Remus never came to his side of the imagination; he always complained about how bright and fluffy it was and how the rabbits couldn’t sink their teeth into your jugular vein or whatever.

“Well,” he mused, “I went to the common room to go ruin your birthday party like always, but when I got there Patton was just sitting there with a cake. He said you weren’t coming out, so I decided to come in. I mean, come on, Ro, it was so depressing I couldn’t even cause havoc. You can’t just starve me of any fun just because, what, you don’t have a dick to suck? You’re pregnant? Virgil finally told you that I switched your hairspray with bleach? What’s your damage, bro?”

Roman sat up, bristling at the annoyance in his tone. “Have you any idea what I’ve been through this month? What all of us have been through?”

“No!” Remus shouted. “That’s the fucking problem! No one will tell me anything! You haven’t looked this pissy since Logan said he liked me better!”

Roman’s heart sunk. He knew Logan didn’t like him, but he’d always been more or less impartial. Or so he’d thought. “He said that?”

Sighing, Remus dropped down into the grass next to him. “No,” he admitted, and his voice was a little more serious now. “But hey, a horny bitch can hope, right?”

With a small huh, Roman finally turned to face his brother. He hadn’t seen Remus in months, and though he was physically exactly the same as always, he looked a bit more wistful, a little troubled too. He wasn’t a careless, motiveless cartoon villain. It almost looked like he had real emotions.

He must’ve been hit harder than he’d thought last time he saw Remus. It didn’t take an expert in romance like himself to see how hopelessly in love his brother was.

“You like Logan.” It wasn’t a question.

Remus flinched, panic flashing in his eyes before his face morphed into a resigned, sheepish half smile. “What can I say? His unconcerned smartass attitude makes me wanna make him blu- uh, scream.”

His slip wasn’t at all lost on the prince, and no way in hell was he going to let Remus get away with it. He gasped dramatically. “Have you gone soft? Who are you and what have you done with my evil twin?”

Remus shoved him harder than he’d probably meant to, but Roman didn’t mind. “Shut up, I can still carve your weenuses off and use them as ear muffs. Don’t test me.”

Roman raised an eyebrow, finally grinning too. “You should tell that to Logan. I think smart person words turn him on.”

“That would make two of us.”

Roman snorted, regarding him. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d just sat here like brothers, making playful jabs at each other with words instead of actual weapons. They were obviously made to be archenemies, the black and the white, the evil queen and the prince charming. Patton had always instilled in him how important it was that they didn’t interact with him more than necessary; in his eyes, Remus was beyond fixing, just a scary part of Thomas that didn’t need to be acknowledged. Deceit had probably told Remus something similar too, because he stopped coming around as much recently, even just to pester Roman or provide twisted ends to his fantasies.

But Remus was still his blood, and even if he was insufferable sometimes, Roman loved him. No matter how much Patton warned them he was bad news. He didn’t have all that much faith in Patton’s words anymore anyway.

Speaking of which…

“You didn’t come here just to annoy me and gossip, did you?” he asked, and Remus’s smile dropped. He looked like he wanted to deny it.

He didn’t.

Roman’s heart sunk. “What is it?”

Remus looked away. “Dee’s been acting weird all month. Like… he’s completely ignoring me, except when I bring up any light sides. He’s been disappearing an awful lot more, and he never talks unless he’s telling me to shut up, and he only ever does that if I mention you. I went looking for you, but Patton said you hadn’t left your room in weeks. It’s weird, he wasn’t even mad I was here. What’s going on?”

Huffing, Roman made to stand up. “Of course this is about Janus. Everything’s about him, isn’t it?”

“Janus?” Remus’s voice was almost an octave higher than usual.

Roman could feel his brother’s gaze digging into his back, but he tried to ignore it. “And here I thought for once someone actually wanted to talk to me. Sorry, Remus, I can’t fix your little golden boy. Why don’t you go find Patton? I’m sure the two of you could fix him up in no time.”

“His name…” Remus muttered, and Roman couldn’t help his temper rising. He was right; he didn’t matter, did he? They had a new prince advocating for Thomas. They had a new actor. They didn’t need him anymore, and no one even bothered to pretend to care. “He told you his name?”

“Why is everyone so obsessed with his name?” he snarled, a bit more venomous than he’d planned. “It’s not like that means he’s all of the sudden a good person. I mean, you revealed your name, and-”

He froze, head finally catching up to his mouth. He spun around, opening his mouth to fix his mistake, but Remus held up a hand to silence him. He tried to hide it, but Roman saw hurt flashing through his eyes.

Between you and Remus, I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is.

“Re, that’s not what I-”

“I know what you meant,” he snapped, looking down. “I’m the bad guy. Fine with me. Nothing I didn’t already know.”

Roman’s eyes widened. What was he doing? Remus was his enemy, wasn’t he? But it certainly didn’t feel like it now.

He’d always thought of them as black and white, good and bad. That’s what Patton said. But Patton was wrong. Roman wasn’t their hero, so why should Remus be the villain?

“Remus-”

He cut Roman off with a dry chuckle. “You don’t have to play chivalry, Ro. Honestly, what did I expect? I’m just the fucked up thoughts. No apology necessary, you’re not wrong. I just thought… fuck it. I’ve gotta go; Thomas just passed a stranger on the streets and I’ve gotta go make him feel like tearing off the guys arm.”

He didn’t sink out like usual, just started walking all the way back to his side of the imagination

Roman’s eyes stung. No, this was wrong, this couldn’t be all. He couldn’t just leave his brother like this.

“Remus, wait!” he yelled, sprinting after him.

Remus huffed, turning slowly back to him. “Seriously, Roman, I’m-”

Roman cut him off with a tight hug, making him stumble backward slightly. Remus stiffened, but after a few moments, he gingerly wrapped his arms around Roman too.

Roman’s breath caught, and a sob escaped him. On his shoulder, he felt Remus’s jaw tighten, probably to hold back his own tears. He didn’t succeed.

They stood there for what felt like an eternity, not talking, just letting everything out for the first time in years. Remus was slightly taller than him. He’d never noticed before, but now it occupied most of his mind. He’d been taller when they were younger. When had Remus gotten so big?

“I’m not good at being good,” Roman choked out the moment he could. “I try, I really do, but I keep doing the wrong thing. I fought Virgil, but he was good. I trusted Janus, but he was just manipulating everyone. I didn’t trust Janus, and now I’m the bad guy? God, I got so scared that I laughed at his name. I just- I don’t understand anything anymore.

“And you’re just so good at what you do, and you still manage to do good. I mean, you pop in for a single video and force everyone to listen to Logan, and suddenly everyone feels so much better. Well, not Virgil. But still, you help Thomas realise that not everything makes him a bad person. That’s so brilliant. I just… I might not be good at being good, but you’re pretty bad at being bad.” He chuckled, and he felt Remus relax a little more too. “Maybe neither of us were made to be like this. But I… I don’t want to hate you anymore.”

Remus inhaled like he was about to scream. Instead, he said simply, “Dee- Janus- he never told me his name. He’s my best friend, and I thought he’d tell me eventually, at least before he told you guys. I thought at least he trusted me, but…” he trailed off. “I don’t want to hate you, either. No one’s trusted me enough to get this close to me before.”

Roman sighed, reaching up to ruffle his brother’s already messy hair. “God, we’re disasters, aren’t we?”

“I’d be pretty damn pissed if we weren’t,” he snorted. “What’s the point of existing if you aren’t a raging dumpster fire every now and then?”

They untangled from each other, and Roman guided them away from the trees and toward the corner where the grass morphed into carpet and furniture. He collapsed on the bed, thoroughly exhausted. Remus let out a breathy laugh and jumped on the bed next to him. “So are you finally going to tell me what happened to all of you, or am I going to have to fill your sheets with maggots?”

His voice was still croaky and raw, and Roman had to snicker weakly at the meagre attempt at a threat. His laughter died down quickly, though, as he realised exactly what he needed to tell his brother.

“Well… it’s kind of a long story.”

“If there’s two things I have, it’s a lifetime ban from Denny’s and time.”

“Denny’s? But we’re imaginary.”

Remus blinked. “And?”

Roman sighed. What did he expect?

He tried to explain the events of the last video as quickly as he could through Remus’s questions and his own emotions threatening to spill over. He only cried twice. The first time, Remus was able to calm him down quickly, hugging him and whispering disturbing words of comfort. The second time, they weren’t so fortunate.

“Thomas- he, he doesn’t,” he hesitated, trying and failing to choke back a sob. “He doesn’t need me anymore. He- I’m not his hero. He says I am, but Janus… he… well he’s the physical embodiment of lies, isn’t he? He can spot one when he sees one. I asked, and they… they were. Weren’t even trying to hide it either. They just… they couldn’t’ve been any clearer that they wanted nothing to do with me. I don’t- what am I supposed to do now? I can’t go back if all I’m doing is messing Thomas up, but I don’t know what’s going to happen to everyone else if he starts listening to Janus. I can’t just abandon him, but, well, will they even take me? Or am I just…”

Useless.

Remus seemed to get the gist even as Roman struggled with breath. He waited for Roman’s tears to flatten out into a small, steady trickle before he tried to talk to him.

“Ro, I hate to be the one to tell you, but uh… Patton isn’t exactly the biggest expert on moral philosophy.”

Roman startled. “What?” It was about the last thing he’d expected.

Shifting, Remus locked eyes with him. “Look, I’m not great at all of that… goodie two dicks stuff or whatever, but Patton seems to be wrong a hell of a lot. And yeah, De- Janus,” his jaw tightened, but he continued anyway, “Janus isn’t right all of the time either, but I think they’re a hell of a lot better working together. As long as you and Logan keep them from overdoing each other, I think they might be able to balance Thomas out. And I know how much you hate admitting that Patton’s wrong, but, well, he’s the reason we were, uh, separated. And I think we can both agree that was a fucking wrong move.” He looked to Roman cautiously, and Roman nodded in agreement. “Ro, he was just flat out batshit this time. I think… I think Janus and Patton need each other. They balance out.”

Roman huffed. “I suppose they do. They’re just perfect for each other.”

Remus inclined his head. “There it is. Ok, the… hero thing.” Roman flinched, and he waited until they’d both calmed down enough to talk. “What exactly did you say, and what exactly did Janus say?”

Roman took a deep, steadying breath. “U-um, I said ‘I thought I was your hero,’ and then Thomas said I was, but then I asked deceit if he was lying. He-he nodded.”

With a small exhale, Remus narrowed his eyes. “How exactly did you ask?”

“Um. You know, I sorta glanced over at him like ‘are they lying?’ and he just kinda went ‘yeah, sorry.’”

Remus stared at him blankly. “That’s… that’s it?”

Roman blanched. “I mean, some stuff happened after, but I guess. Wh-why?”

“Oh, you poor, dumb slut.”

“What?”

Remus groaned. “No, you’re supposed to be the smarter one! I can’t be the smart one! I’m the dumbass who’s hot for the teacher! Get your head out of your ass and stop messing with our dynamic!”

Roman glared at him. “Can you get to the point? This,” he gestured vaguely, “isn’t helping.”

Huffing, Remus grabbed his forearm. “Let me get this right. Thomas told you you mattered, and so you looked suggestively at the biggest liar in the room, and he nodded, and you took that to mean that everyone hates you?”

“Well-” He hesitated, finding the flaws in his logic. “Ugh, when you say it like that it sounds stupid.”

“Because it is! Bro, that nod could have meant fucking anything. One thing I know about Dee is that he’s pretty fucking terrible at communication. You seriously need to chill. Just talk to him, no fancy language.”

Roman’s heart squeezed. “I don’t know…”

But Remus just sighed and slid his hand down to hold Roman’s. “Relax, I’ll be right behind you. He hurts you, I’ll chop one of his dicks off.”

He tried for a laugh, but it came out as something between a cough and a gag. “Thanks, Re, but… not just yet. I don’t want them seeing me like this.”

Remus snorted. “Definitely. I’m the chaotic one. You can’t go out there like that and steal my thing. Come on, let’s get you all cheered up and dressed up, then we’ll go face your worst fears, mkay?”

 

They fooled around for the next few hours until Roman was his regular princely self again, watching a bootleg of Heathers the Musical and raiding Roman’s closet (which was practically Narnia for how large it was). The Prince never wanted to leave. He hadn’t had this much fun since they were teenagers and Remus had convinced Patton to let them watch Avenue Q under the guise that “it’s just like the muppets!”

But the moment the bootleg ended, Remus got serious again. “Ok, Ro, you look like a fucking Barbie Doll. I know you want to avoid it, but I will not hesitate to knock you out and drag you to the dark side if you won’t go yourself. You have to do this. Bitch.”

Roman rolled his eyes, nodding. “Fine, fine. Let’s go.”

But when he yanked open the door, something blocked his path. Or someone. They yelped and fell backward onto his feet and stared up at him like they’d seen a ghost.

“Virgil?”

The emo jumped to his feet quickly, brushing himself off and hunching his shoulders again. His eyeshadow looked lighter than usual, which was strange given the circumstances they’d been under when Roman had left. Roman’s heart sunk a little- maybe they really were better off without him- but he tried not to think about it for the moment. He had more pressing questions.

Virgil pulled off his giant headphones and raked a hand through his hair. “Uh, hey, Princey.”

“What are you doing here?”

He blushed, looking at the floor. “Uh, Logan wanted me to stay here to keep Patton from invading your privacy or something. He was about ready to break down the door a few weeks ago. Plus, uh,” he hesitated, seeming unwilling to admit it, “the imagination calms me down sometimes. When I’m really anxious, it’s… helpful to get lost in fantasy. And since you weren’t coming around anymore…” He coughed, adding a paper thin layer of fake malice to his voice. “Not that I care.”

Remus snorted from inside the room, and Virgil jumped. “Yeah, that’s what it is. He definitely misses your creativity. That’s all.”

Roman huffed, glaring as his brother came to stand at his side just outside the doorway. “Do you have any chill?”

“Do you know me?”

“Unfortunately.”

Roman turned back to Virgil to apologise, but his eyes were trained firmly on his brother. He looked positively terrified. “You!”

Remus stuck out his tongue. “Me. Relax, little emo, I’m not here to spill all your juicy little secrets today. We can save that for your birthday.”

Virgil’s eyes flicked over to Roman, who shook his head at the questioning look. “It’s fine; he’s with me.”

“With… you? What?”

“Long story. Do you know where J- uh, Deceit is?”

Eyes widening, Virgil held up a hand. “Hold on. You can’t just disappear for a month and then suddenly show up with Remus and demand to see Janus. Where the hell have you been?”

Roman blanched. He wasn’t expecting to have to do this so soon. He wasn’t ready. He had no idea what his excuse was, because he certainly couldn’t tell him the truth. It had been hard enough to tell his own twin all of the twisted, horrible thoughts that had kept him cooped up in his room for so long, let alone any of the light sides. Would they even tolerate him if they knew how much of a coward he was?

Luckily, Remus answered for him. “His room. Where else?”

Virgil growled at him. “You know what I mean.”

“Virgil?” a voice called, and frenzied footsteps thundered down the hall, getting closer by the second. “Virgil, are alright? I heard a scream.”

Logan froze, observing the scene through tired, squinted eyes. His glasses rested haphazardly on the top of his head, and that was hardly the worst of it. His arms were covered in ink, tie gone and shirt wrinkled and unbuttoned, and his hair was messier than Thomas’s in the morning. There was a large red splotch on his cheek, most likely a handprint.

“Remus?” he asked, sounding thoroughly unsure what to do with himself. “What are you doing here, you… uh…”

“Hot piece of ass?” Roman supplied.

“You hot piece of- what?”

Roman stifled a laugh as both Remus and Logan turned bright red.

Logan stepped closer to Virgil, never taking his eyes off the Duke. “You see him too, right? I haven’t developed hallucinatory coping mechanisms?”

Virgil sighed, reaching up and pushing his glasses back onto his nose. “He’s here, Teach. And he’s not the only one.”

It took a moment before Logan’s eyes focused again and landed on Roman. Realisation dawned on his face, then anger.

“Roman, what the hell were you thinking, just up and leaving?”

Roman blinked. “What?”

“I can’t handle an overly emotional Patton,” he hissed. “You can’t just leave me alone with three distraught sides and expect everything to be fine! And leaving Thomas without creativity? He’s been struggling with writer’s block for weeks! It has been chaos around here! Why would you-” he froze, narrowing his eyes as Roman lowered his head. “What are you doing? Aren’t you going to argue with me?”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt. I just thought…”

“No, no, you didn’t. You never think, you just do. And yes, that’s an invaluable instinct at times, but sometimes it helps to employ a little logic. This is unacceptable-”

Remus grabbed his forearm, blushing a bit but holding firm. “Back off a bit, nerd. I already talked some sense in him. He’s learning.”

Logan’s eyes widened. “What- what are you doing?”

“Uh, physical contact?”

“Why?” His face was red enough that the handprint nearly disappeared.

Remus bit his lip. “Uh, to get your attention, I guess.”

“You have my attention.”

Startling, Remus started to pull away. “Ok, if it bothers you-”

“No!” Logan said sharply. “No, it’s quite alright. I just… wasn’t sure if you were aware.”

Remus smiled a bit teasingly. “Why wouldn’t I be aware, teacher crush? It’s my hand, you know. It is attached to me right now.”

“O-of course. Quite,” Logan mumbled, looking wholly not like himself. “What were we talking about?”

“Roman being an idiot?” Virgil said.

“Ah, right. Well, I suppose there’s no need to lament on past mistakes if you say you’re learning from them. At least you’ve learned your lesson, right?”

Roman opened his mouth to explain that he was trying to figure everything out when he heard a pair of voices echoing down the hall in the opposite direction from which Logan had come.

“-pointless!” one of them was saying. “You’re just going to upset yourself even more!”

The other sounded worked up as it was. “It’s his birthday, Jan. I can’t just let him be alone on his birthday! At least I can just give him the cake. If he still won’t come out, well, I understand. But I have to try! I don’t know how you guys used to do it, but over here we celebrate together.”

“Maybe so, but you shouldn’t stress yourself out over the actions of others. It’s not healthy.”

“I’m not, I swear! I just have to make sure he’s o… kay.”

The last syllable was a breath on Patton’s tongue as he turned the corner into the hallway in which they were all standing, Janus at his side. The snake froze, gripping the box in his hands like a lifeline, eyes darting from Logan to Virgil to Roman to Remus and never settling.

Patton’s wide eyes were trained firmly on Roman.

No one moved.

Roman raised a hand for a timid wave. “Hey, Padre.”

Patton stiffened.

Then, he was barreling toward Roman, crashing into his chest and wrapping his arms tightly around him.

Roman flinched. He hadn’t expected this. He’d been sure Patton would turn him away for everything he’d said to Janus, all of the ethically compromised things he’d tried to convince Thomas of…

No. Patton isn’t the end-all-be-all of right and wrong. You said what you thought was right. What you still think is right. You’re allowed to have a different opinion. They’re not going to oust you for it.

Roman silently thanked Remus for his help; without it, he doubted he’d ever have left. Patton didn’t know everything. Maybe that was a good thing.

He forced himself to relax, wrapping his arms around the short side. Patton wasn’t mad at him, at least for now. He could fix this. Janus was who he had to confront.

His eyes darted to Roman’s just as Roman looked up. He was still clutching the box to his chest, and his eyes held something between caution and fear. Janus was scared… of him?

Patton finally shifted so his face wasn’t buried in Roman’s chest anymore. “Are you alright, kiddo? I’m so sorry, so sorry for making you feel like you couldn’t talk to us. I’m here for you, you know? No matter who else is there.”

“Yeah, Pat, I’m fine,” Roman muttered, only kind of lying. “Just needed a bit to… collect my thoughts. With a little help.”

“Help? But none of us could get into the imagination, not even Thomas.”

Remus cleared his throat, and Patton jumped back, out of Roman’s arms. His eyes narrowed as he took in Remus, still clutching Logan’s forearm and smiling somewhat tiredly.

Holding up a placating hand, Roman tried to calm the panic burbling up in Patton’s eyes. “He’s not here to cause trouble, I swear. He’s the one who came and got me. You trust me, right? You trust him too,” he said, gesturing over to Janus. “Re told me you two were working together. I think me and him could work together, too.”

Patton’s expression turned sympathetic, but he didn’t seem quite swayed. “I dunno, Roman. Janus is-”

“Roman is correct, for once,” Logan said, startling everyone into silent attention. He blushed, adjusted his glasses, and continued. “Many people have only a single creativity that encompasses both Roman’s and Remus’s contribution. While Remus may be a bit overwhelming when isolated, working with Roman may not only increase his positive input, but may also increase Roman’s confidence and thus productivity. It wouldn’t be logical to turn him away, so to speak.”

Patton looked ready to argue, but a hand fell on his shoulder to silence him.

Janus’s voice was low and quiet, inaudible to Roman. But Patton straightened with a sigh and nodded. “Ok. Sorry, Remus, I’m still new to… well, all of this.”

“It’s fine, Papa PG, I’m not used to this either.” Remus reluctantly let go of Logan and walked over to stand next to his brother. “Hey, Janus. Fancy seeing you here.”

His voice didn’t hold all that much malice, but Janus flinched nevertheless. He regarded Remus warily before he spoke, only slightly louder than before.

“Of course, I’ve been hiding all of this from you because I just despise you, obviously. Not like I’ve been busy. Can snakes even feel sssstress?”

When Remus didn’t respond, he lowered his voice. “I did mean to tell you.”

“You think I care about the name? Dee, you’re a bitch no matter what you call your meat sack. Learned that years ago. Nah, I’m just pissed you didn’t invite me up to your weird ass optimism orgy or whatever this is. I mean, the snacks they serve up here?” He whistled, pointing a thumb over to Logan, who looked like he was trying his level best not to combust. “Anyway, everything’s good now, eh? You can’t get ridda me now.”

Finally, Janus cracked a smile. “How terrible.”

Roman steeled himself. This was his chance to fix everything. If he could just find the right words. “Janus?”

The snake wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Roman. It’s good to see you again.”

Roman couldn’t tell if he was lying. Honestly, it didn’t much matter.

“I don’t like you,” he said simply. Janus winced. “I don’t like your constant lies and half truths, and I don’t like how you’ve treated me and my friends. That’s still true. I won’t compromise my beliefs to make Patton feel better.”

Janus nodded and opened his mouth, but Roman cut him off. “But I’ve been thinking. I might not like you, and I certainly don’t trust you quite yet, but I do believe you and I both want what’s best for Thomas. You have some good ideas when you’re not trying to take away everyone else’s voice to make them. So… I’m sorry for the things that I said, and I am more than willing to work with you and hopefully some day trust you.” He reached out a hand hesitantly. “Are you willing to work with me?”

Glancing at the hand, Janus seemed to weigh his options. Then, he shifted the box so he was holding it under his arm and shook. “Wow, it’s almost like that was what I wanted the whole time. I’m sorry for whatever I did and/or said that upset you too, I guess.”

Patton elbowed him in the side, and he hissed. “Jesus, fine. I’m sorry for impersonating your friends and using your insecurities against you. And I’m sorry for calling you evil. Won’t happen again. On purpose, at least.”

That, at least, was true.

Patton watched the two of them cautiously, and the moment they released their grip, he laid a hand on Roman’s shoulder. “So, Kiddo, you feeling up for a little birthday celebration?”

Roman smiled. No one hated him. No one was coming after him. He was here, and everything was fine.

For once, he didn’t feel useless.

“Padre, do you honestly think I’d turn down any cake, let alone one of yours?”

Janus huffed. “Thank god. I was not about to have carried this thing everywhere for nothing.” He brandished the cake toward Roman, who took it gratefully.

“Uh, Remus?”

Remus jumped, clearly a little shocked that Patton was addressing him so carefully. “Yeah?”

Patton looked a little surprised with himself too, but he continued anyway. “Uh, I didn’t make a cake for you, but I’m sure I could whip one up in a jiffy. What flavour do you want?”

Remus stared at him blankly for longer than was probably appropriate before he cracked a grin. “I have my own recipe, actually. Good old Vinegar Milk Vanilla. Maybe I could… help you?”

Patton smiled. “I don’t think I know that recipe, but sure! Let’s try it.”

“I could assist as well,” Logan said, not missing a beat. “I’m very intrigued by… uh, chemistry. I think it might be beneficial to my understanding of the science for me to observe. The baking, that is. I mean…”

Roman chuckled; the nerd was hopeless.

Remus blushed. “I’d like that. Patton?”

“Of course! The more the merrier!”

Things didn’t go back to normal immediately; there were plenty of bumps in the road, mistakes and learning curves. But for that day, they were together. They laughed and flirted and ate cake and cuddled.

It was one of the best birthdays Roman had ever had.

Notes:

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