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When Sam had found himself in the rather unfortunate situation of changing into a gargantuan beast that could both tower the entirety of New York City as well has level it if his mind had been so foggy, his judgement so clouded, as to do so, there was only one feeling to describe when he had felt: Fear. Bone chilling, freezing to your core fear . Fear for his health, fear for the safety of those he cared for - hell, fear for the entire world . No one truly had any clue just how absolutely terrifying it was to know how just being in that state put the very Earth as everyone knew it in jeopardy, threatening to open vortexes that could release powers completely beyond anyone’s comprehension that would destroy everything. Nor would they know just how equally frightening was to fling yourself into those vortexes just as they began to split open the skies, knowing that that was it, that you were never going to come back, that your life was going to end and the last thing anyone or your partner would remember of you was that you were a behemoth that would rather die than allow the world to crumble to ashes.
Except he didn’t die. He hadn’t anticipated that.
Even at his massive size, the sudden fall from the sky had seemed like an awfully far drop to endure. And the crash landing - which had required him to use what little energy he’d had left to keep himself from crashing right on top of the city, by the way - was also incredibly painful. Actually, shortly after he had landed in - actually in - the earth and rock, he’d truly learned the definition of ‘ the bigger they are, the harder they fall ’.
Though he made an effort to try and lift his large form - consisting of three heads and massive, dracontine wings and spikes and claws which were thicker than any of the stumps of the trees he had taken out upon landing - he found that he was precisely as weak as he’d thought he was after putting himself through such a taxing ordeal, and allowed himself to thwomp himself back into the large crater he had made for himself with a low, exhausted grumble in his throat. He curled up, wrapping his long, spiked, reptilian tail around himself and attempting to cover himself with his wings, as a means to try and combat the pain and great fatigue he felt, breathing deeply through all three of his noses. He could swear that in all of his thirty-one years of living, he had never felt such a desire to drift into sleep as he did now.
And so he did. He inhaled deeply, then exhaled, and shut his eyes, allowing his weariness to take over him.
. . .
“ Sam! ”
The all too familiar voice practically wormed its way into his ears and echoed through his mind, and stirred him awake almost instantaneously despite him being in such a deep sleep just mere moments ago. The morning sun was beginning to beat down on him, and although it admittedly felt nice considering his form was made up more of scale than fur, it was hard on the eyes. Just opening them a touch was difficult, but even through the blur of his vision, he could make out the helicopter that had apparently landed not too far from him, and could see a tiny smudge of white rapidly making his way over to him.
Before he knew it, he was feeling something press against one of his muzzles. It felt like nothing more than a light tickle - like dandelion seeds brushing past one’s face as they floated past - but he knew well exactly who it was, and found himself shakily lifting one of the tendrils that hung from his nose and over his mouth almost like a mustache to carefully wrap it around his lagomorph partner, and could feel him tremble and shake with each quiet sob that just barely managed to reach the draconiform monster’s ears.
“I thought you were gone,” he heard Max say between his sobs, and could only just feel him pressing his small form closer to his muzzle, as if trying to get as close as he possibly could. “I-I thought I lost ya’, I thought…God dammit , Sam, I thought you left me!”
Sam responded in turn by wrapping his tendril more snuggly around him, wishing in that moment that he could hold him so much more closely than he possibly could with his current size - and wishing his corrupted vocal cords could work with him just once if only to utter a deep, sincere apology for distressing his friend so. To have to ignore his pleas for the monster to come back had been...painful, to say the least. And with recalling that memory briefly, his blurred vision had suddenly become crystal clear, and when he shut his eyes, allowing himself to soak in the relief and comfort he felt in having Max with him again, he felt tears trailing down his cheeks, which caught a glimmer of light before soaking into his scales.
The lagomorph gave a wet sniff, then pulled away quickly - though Sam did not loosen his grip any, for he refused to let go of Max like that ever again - only to pat at his boyfriend’s muzzle. “Are you alright?” he asked. “Are you hurt? Can you stand?” In an attempt to prove that he was not injured - at least not seriously - Sam tried to stand again. As soon as Max could see and hear that he was struggling just to lift his torso off of the ground, however, he promptly said, “Oh- no, Sam, don’t- don’t move if you can’t, okay? Just take it easy-” Sam relaxed his muscles and once again laid on the earth. Max gently ran his hand over his rough, purple skin, and murmured softly, “Easy…”
The large beast went to shut his eyes again, but upon noticing that they were not alone, and that there were other two standing there, he became alert. He especially got defensive upon seeing the man dressed in black with sunglasses, who, as far as he was aware, had been a partially active part in the attempts to take out Sam to try and save the world, and he found himself trying to raise his wings, a disgruntled rumble going through his throat and vibrating through his chest.
Max was at first confused and concerned by his partner’s sudden agitation, but upon looking over at Superball, he quickly turned back to Sam. “Hey, it’s okay. He’s the reason I even found ya’ out here.” He placed his paws on one of the creature’s spare tendrils, lifting it and stroking it in an attempt to calm his nerves. “I wouldn’t have brought him if I thought he was gonna hurt ya’. It’s okay…”
Despite his wariness remaining unchanged, Sam had no energy to maintain any form of vigilance for long - and the agent seemed to be unarmed, in any case. He lowered his wings, although positioning his front set of wings forward a bit, as if to create a partial barrier between the two individuals near the helicopter and him with Max.
The woman standing beside the agent had been Mama Bosco, who, despite the grey and white in her hair and her old age clear in the wrinkles of her skin, was still very much a respectable scientist who had been assisting both the lagomorph and agent during the whole ordeal, and had tagged along for the search of the draconiform beast. And as she observed the closeness of the two, seeing clearly the sheer relief and the care they had for each other, she turned her head to look at the man beside her. “He’s not so threatening like this,” she said. “Is he?”
“He’s also not as threatening when there aren’t portals opening up in the sky,” he said very matter-of-factly. The scientist merely hummed indifferently at that, giving a small shrug as she turned her gaze back to the two before them. He then looked at her, and said, “He can’t stay like this.”
“I know.”
“He has to be turned back.”
“I know.”
“ Can you turn him back?”
At the last inquiry, her hickory eyes went back to him, and to his inquiry, she said, “Permanently? No.” Though he remained silent and expressionless, the unspoken question was still clear, and so she answered, “He’s been like this for too long. There’s no way I could return his default state back to what it was. Temporarily, however - yeah. I can do that.”
“...He’s a two-hundred foot monster,” he stated. “I’m not sure if ‘temporary’ is really a good choice for him.”
“Don’t worry, Agent.” She returned her gaze to him once again. “I’ll find a way to make it long term. But to do that, I’ll need you to fly me back.”
“I can do that.” He looked at the lagomorph, who was chattering away to his partner while providing him affection and comfort. “What about him?”
She followed his gaze. “Leave him. After all of this, there’s no way he’s going anywhere any time soon.”
“Alright,” was all he replied with, then proceeded to turn and start walking back to the helicopter. And after staring at the couple for a moment or two longer, Mama Bosco followed suit.
. . .
When Mama Bosco had informed Sam that ‘it might sting’ once she placed the tiny device on the back of his neck, she either had left out just how much it would sting or she had not counted on the change back being so strenuous. Or maybe it was purely psychosomatic, and what he was feeling was phantom pain caused by the memory of being forcefully transformed against his will the first time. Regardless of whichever it was, changing back from the eldritch abomination he was back into his normal self hurt . And for a moment, he questioned if turning back was really all that worth going through this agony.
He promptly stopped thinking that the moment Max hugged as much of his muzzle that he could reach after the first whine Sam had uttered, and had reassured Sam that he’d be there with him the whole time. Instead, he just screwed his eyes shut (all six of them - not including the ones that spotted his shoulders) and focused on Max’s touch, picturing him holding his boyfriend in his arms and kissing the top of his head. And he held onto that throughout the duration of his change.
And to some degree, it worked in his favour, because before he knew it, he wasn’t some large, hulking beast that could only growl in place of words. He lifted his trembling arms to hold onto his partner tightly, but with the remainder of his spikes and claws still receding, he curled his fingers inwards as to dig them into his own palms rather than into Max’s skin on accident. And as he clutched onto the lagomorph, he felt his body begin to shake harshly with sobs that he wasn’t even aware were bubbling to the surface. He felt the pain subside, a feeling of numbness replacing it. He was barely aware of the large blanket that was gently place over him by Mama Bosco, too focused on trying to hold Max as close to him as he could-
As if hearing his unspoken thoughts, Max murmured, “I’m not goin’ anywhere, Sam…” He shook his head, patting the back of the dog’s head. “Never again. I’ve got you. You’re okay now…”
Something about the last statement made something break inside of Sam, and he sobbed out loudly once before finding his grip slipping off of his boyfriend, his form which felt so small now curling up on the ground. He felt ill - absolutely sick to his stomach - as he cried, unable to catch his breaths between the sobs that wracked his ribcage.
It was absolutely heartbreaking to hear Sam’s cries, but he knew that all he could do was comfort him while he got the worst of his meltdown out of his system. So he simply said, “It’s okay, Sam - just let it out...” Max repositioned himself so that he was still hugging the dog’s shoulders, stroking the fur with his thumb, gently pressing the side of his head in the space between his shoulder blades, his ears drooping. “We can stay here as long as you need…”
Sam wasn’t all that sure how long they remained there - he was hardly aware of any time passing at all. Only the tears down his face, the cool earth against his paw pads and knees, the pain in his chest, the way Max gently readjusted the blanket on him without moving his head...Eventually, his sobs become less harsh, and reached up to hold onto Max again, gently pressing his forehead against his stomach. And quietly - barely above a whisper - he uttered in a tiny voice, “...Take me home.”
Max ran his hand over the back of Sam’s head slowly, his brows furrowed and a sympathetic frown on his face. He then bent over and placed a gentle kiss on the top of his head. “I can do that,” he replied softly.
And without another word, he helped the dog to get to his feet. Once he had, Sam clutched onto the blanket intended to cover his form and keep him modest, holding it tightly closed with one hand, while gently holding Max’s with the other. Mama Bosco was still standing there, but as soon as she saw the two beginning to walk forward, she turned and proceeded to head back to the helicopter again, with the Freelance Police following not too far behind.
. . .
Despite the TV being on, and playing some random reality show (whichever it was, Sam hadn’t bothered paying much attention), it all just looked and sounded like static to the dog - white and black dancing across a screen in a distracting fashion, and white noise crunching in his ears. His eyes were unfocused, and his arms were draped lazily over his partner’s shoulders, holding him loosely.
The lagomorph watched the TV with little interest, hardly even paying attention to what was playing so much as he was focusing on the dog’s breathing, his touch, his presence. The show that was playing was merely background noise to him compared to all of that - unimportant, trivial...Eventually, however, he broke the silence between him and his boyfriend, and said quietly, “You haven’t said a whole lot.”
Sam blinked out of whatever absentminded stupor he had been in, flickering his gaze momentarily to Max, but unable to maintain looking in his direction when he moved his head to look at him back. “...Sorry,” he mumbled.
“No- don’t be sorry, Sam, I’m just…” He shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t know why I said that. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. You’re just worried. It’s fine.” Max eyed him for a moment longer, then, thinking of nothing else to say, resumed looking at the TV. “...I guess I just...don’t know what t’ say,” Sam spoke again after a pause.
“...Understandable, I suppose, ” he murmured. “I guess there isn’t really much that can be said in regard t’ all of... this .” He waved a hand, as if to gesture to the general situation.
The dog heaved a deep sigh through his nose, holding the lagomorph a little closer to him, his grip a little tighter. “I guess so,” was all he said, before the silence fell over them once again, no words uttered, until, “...Where do we go from here, Max?”
The words had been spoken with that same small, fragile voice that had begged him to take him home, and Max stopped to ponder with half-lidded eyes and brows knitted together in sympathy for his partner, his ears pressing against the back of his head. Eventually, he gave a small breath, then looked up at Sam. “What do ya’ want t’ do?” The dog responded only with silence, his head tilting downwards so that his gaze was on the rickety wooden floor. “...Do you wanna stay in the city?”
After a pause, he answered softly, “No.”
“Do you...wanna go back t’ your parent’s place?”
He immediately shook his head at that. “No. I don’t want ‘em t’ know somethin’s wrong.”
“Then where do you wanna go?” he asked sincerely, remaining patient with his boyfriend.
“I just...wanna hide. And go where- where no one has t’ deal with me.”
“Where no one has t’ deal with you - or where you don’t have t’ deal with anyone else?”
“...Both.”
The lagomorph gave a nod of understanding. And although he certainly did not wish to make this inquiry - actually, the idea made him feel miserable and made his stomach twist but he digressed - he decided to bite the bullet and ask, “Do you want to go alone?”
Sam tensed, his head lifting up a bit in shock at the question. “What?”
“Do you want to go alone?” Max repeated, a little slower and a little softer. “I...I know it seems like a weird thing t’ ask, but- I dunno. If you wanna get away, and ya’ need your own space, that’s okay. I’ll understand. And I’ll-” He had to swallow, his throat beginning to grow thick just even talking about it. “I’ll wait as long as ya’ need until ya’ get back.”
Sam’s eyes remained fixed on the wood floor, his vision growing unfocused once more as his mind wandered back to the events that had unfolded a mere few hours prior. Max screaming his name, begging him not to leave, his face contorted in an expression that Sam could only describe as pure heartbreak and desperation as he shouted at the very top of his lungs, trying to convince the behemoth to come back . The blinding white of the vortex mixed with multiple colours of neon as Sam launched himself in, flying further and further through it even as it got more difficult, even as it threatened to spit him back out, feeling every prick of electricity as the energy of that vortex collided violently with the energy he produced. His heart racing as it only then truly dawned on him that he was likely going to die in there, and, as if that hadn’t been horrifying enough, he was going to die alone , with the one person who loved him so dearly for all of his life - who had begged him not to give it up - miles and miles away…
He felt like he was supposed to cry. After all, that seemed like an appropriate response to recalling those memories as vividly as he’d just had. But he didn’t. Again, he simply felt his body go numb, feeling as if though he was aware of the presence he held but not actually feeling it. And he hated it.
“...I can’t do that,” he eventually said quietly, his words managing to slip past his lips only barely. “I just can’t.”
Max could feel the relief of hearing that statement in his chest, but his expression remained the same. “Okay,” he whispered.
When the dog didn’t say anything more for a minute or so, he decided to cautiously reach a hand up to place it on his cheek. Almost immediately upon him doing so, Sam removed an arm from around him to wrap a hand over Max’s wrist. His claws had never fully receded, and were longer and sharper than they had been before, so Sam was very, very gentle when holding onto his partner.
“We’ll figure somethin’ out, Sam,” Max assured his partner, running his thumb across his cheek. “We can go wherever you want.”
“I don’t care where it is,” Sam murmured. “Just as long as it’s just me and you.”
“Of course.” Yet another moment of silence, this time broken when Max took a breath, pulled away to face Sam, and slipped his wrist through the dog’s hand so that he could hold onto it in both of his own. “Not t’ ruin a serious moment, but can I just say-” He ran a finger over one of the claws. “-I could so get used t’ these things. I mean, with these bad boys, you’ll never need a can opener again!”
Sam couldn’t help but crack a smile at that, and when Max had lifted his gaze to flash him a toothy grin, he’d found that the dog was finally looking him in the eye again. “You crack me up, li’l buddy,” he said gently.
Max’s grin turned warmer at that, feeling as if though he could damn well cry just from hearing those six words again after all of the shit that had just happened. He found himself leaning forward to kiss his boyfriend, placing a hand under one of his ears, rubbing it with his thumb. When he finally pulled away, exhaling, he murmured, “ Te amo .”
Wrapping his arms loosely around the lagomorph’s waist, he replied clearly, without hesitation, “I love you, too.”