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Walking back through the quiet forest at the crack of dawn gave Douxie and Archie a wide range of peace that was hard to come by these days. Unfortunately, it had been a long night beforehand, and they were a little too tired to enjoy it to the fullest.
“I didn’t think I’d see another troll near the village since they set off to find that new heartstone? Good thing we got to him in time before anyone saw. Hope the poor fellow finds the rest of his group alright, but I'm surprised someone that massive hadn't been discovered yet. I suppose we should count ourselves lucky, eh Arch?”
Douxie let out a large yawn and a stretch as his faithful familiar kept pace on foot beside him.
“Yes well, I suppose not everyone could fit aboard the Mayflower,” Archie said. “It's possible there could have been some stragglers who had to find their way here through different means.”
He nodded at that and rubbed at his hair, bumping into the large black hat he was forced to wear to fit in these days. He groaned and tore it off, having half a mind to throw it before thinking better of it and unclenching his knuckles along the brim. He circled the capotain around in his hands, wrinkling his nose at it as they kept towards the village path, cleaning up any and all evidence of the troll's presence they saw as they backtracked home.
“Ugh! Is it just me or do the hats just keep getting worse every century?”
“It’s still a step up from the Renaissance, I'd say?” Archie answered with an amusement linked back to the memory.
“Eugh! Don’t remind me. There were far too many tights! If tights ever come back into style, Arch, do me a favor and kill me, would you?”
“Duly noted.”
“Anyway, I figured that the fashion might be different now that we’re in the “New World”, but it’s just a lot of the same. Granted there is something both agreeable and slightly macabre to wearing all black, but— Ugh! I miss just being able to walk around in my Camelot clothes. Now that was a century that knew how to dress!”
“Yes, but you know as well as I do that you’d stick out like a garden troll’s thumb if you went around wearing those right now. People are sensitive these days. Don’t worry, it’ll probably circle back into style in a couple more decades.”
“You’ve been saying that now for literally centuries! I swear, Arch, if I have to wear one more stupid hat, I’m going to go completely mental!”
“Try to put on a brave face. After all, you should be happy you came here to help the good trolls sneak onto the Mayflower. They didn’t care what you were wearing, just that you helped them find a new Heartstone, and you did!”
“That—” He paused. “That was over 70 years ago!?”
“Well sure, but you should still be proud.” Archie shrugged, coming up to walk on two feet as they moved. “Think about it. The responsibility it takes coming to a new land across the ocean, away from everything you've ever known, and not to mention barely even using magic since the humans started getting so closed minded about it, and—”
“Call me crazy, but this glory speech isn’t exactly cheering me up...”
“Well at least I’m trying to look on the bright side.”
His arms shot up into the air.
“Maybe try picking an accomplishment we’ve done in this decade then!?”
“You know, this isn’t a walk in the park for me either, Douxie. Ever since people stopped believing in dragons, I’ve had to resort to changing into birds just to fly around! BIRDS! Might as well be a rat with wings. Not to mention I can’t even speak in public these days. So uncivilized. What sort of a future is this?”
“A long one, that’s for darn sure,” he said with a breath.
Both of them were forced to stop just after that as they reached the toppled tree caused by the lost and panicked troll last night in his confused haste. It was pretty large, and would probably take the villagers a few days to remove from the trading path.
Douxie looked around and without another thought, used his magic to lift it and set it off to the side of the road.
“If only Merlin could see us now… the infamous cleanup duo as usual.”
“Well I think—” Archie paused, eyes going wide as he quickly looked over and pointed. “Oh dear… Umm… Douxie?”
“What?”
He groaned and turned back, seeing the villager rising slowly from the bushes a few mere feet away, face white with terror and stupefied confusion at the sight of them both. Turns out it was just early enough for some people to be awake and starting their day. Not good from where either of them were standing, Douxie with his hand in the proverbial magic cookie jar, and this villager literally out in the woods with his pants down. Not the ideal situation for either. Not in the slightest.
Douxie’s hand stopped glowing blue immediately after, and he stared at it for a long moment before shoving it behind his back with a nervous laugh.
“Uhh… good morrow, neighbor?”
“Meow?” Archie said, unconvincingly. Visibly removing his glasses and lowering himself back down to four legs as he spoke.
Douxie would have slapped himself across the forehead had he not been in an intense stare-down between himself and the lone villager. It lasted for what felt like minutes, before finally the man’s hand lifted up, finger pointed and trembling as sweat began to poor over his brows.
“W-w-w-witch!” He bellowed. “Witch!”
“Oh fuzzbuckets, not again…” Douxie groaned, the stalemate broken as he allowed that slap to the face to hide the rolling of his eyes. His hand came up a second later, and with a snap of blue, he spoke the incantation. “Interminus nocti sluumberso!”
The puritan fell asleep and slammed face first back down into the brush. He'd come to soon, thinking his morning's "business" prompted an unexpected nap to follow, but it was for the best.
After a moment of long silence, Douxie and Archie just watched, trying to pinpoint how this situation could have gone any worse. The one thing you didn't do in 1692 was get accused of witchcraft and here they were, doing magic too close to town... again.
"Witchcraft..." He sighed tiredly. "It's always witchcraft with these guys."
“Well he wasn’t that far off?” Archie shrugged.
“Not a good time, Arch!”
“That’s the third time this month. You really should be more careful about where you use your magic. What was that thing Merlin always kept saying?”
He let out a long winded sigh and threw his head back.
“Ugh… Magic isn't a permissible shortcut to hard work. I know, I know! But how else did you expect me to move the tree?!”
“Mmf... Why do I have to churn the butter, Mummy?” The pilgrim muttered drowsily.
Douxie’s hand came up to rub his tired eyes and he started to walk away.
“Oh, this has been a long century. The 1700s better not be as shoddy as this!”
“Here’s hoping, old friend.”
"No hard feelings, alright buddy?" Douxie turned and tossed his hat onto the pilgrim’s head, making the mark, and causing him a momentary feeling victory before they turned back towards the village. “Maybe we should just bite the bullet and hop back on one of those dreadful boats out of here. Six weeks of seasickness is preferable to all of this, isn't it?”
“Personally, I'd be willing to wait it out a few more decades if it meant no more sailing. Now, come on you, let’s head back before everyone else in the village wakes up and winds up like that unfortunate fellow back there.”
“Alright, but don’t think this argument is over!”
“Of course it is, you can’t have the villagers see you arguing with your black cat. They're already suspicious of you.”
“You always have to get the last word in don’t you?”
“Meow!”
“Oh, that is so not fair Archie, and you know it!”
“Meow.”
"Ugggh..."