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“Look out!” Adrien shouted, darting in front of Ladybug just to take the hit of the akuma’s purple blast.
“Adrien!” she screamed, as he looked himself over. He didn’t know what this akuma--Juleka?-- had done to him yet, but he didn’t feel any different. The school had been under siege for all of five minutes and he was just looking for a place to transform when he saw Ladybug almost get hit in the courtyard.
“I’m sorry, Ladybug!” Adrien said, feeling his heartbeat tick up just by being in close proximity to her. Once he opened his mouth, he couldn’t stop. “I had to protect you. That’s just what I do. Because I’m--”
“Adrien!” Ladybug shouted again, jumping in front of him and spinning her yo-yo to save him from further blasts. “That was a confession akuma!”
The akuma--definitely Juleka--advanced on their position, but Ladybug picked up some dirt from the ground and tossed it in the akuma’s eyes. Juleka screamed and rubbed at them.
Ladybug scooped him up in a bridal carry and hauled him out of there, spiriting him away. He gladly wrapped his arms around her neck, huddling close to her as the wind whipped his hair back from his face.
Now that they were away from the akuma, Ladybug’s words sunk into Adrien’s brain. A confession akuma? Is that why I was about to tell her that I’m Chat Noir? He glanced at Ladybug’s stoic face, her lip curled away from her bared teeth, and drew a deep breath. Oh, gosh, I can’t tell her that!
But once again, when he tried to tell her thank you after she set him down on a rooftop far from the school, the words that came out were anything but that. “Anyway I wanted to say that you smell really good and I really like the way your suit shines in the moonlight and your butt is exquis--”
“Adrien, what were you thinking?” Ladybug said, pacing and tugging on her pigtails. “How could you jump in front of me like that?”
“--Yeah, I’m really sorry about that but I had to because I--” Adiren stopped himself just in time, but found himself forced to tell another truth. He tried to redirect himself. “I hate my father.”
What? Adrien thought, stunned into silence. He clutched his heart, feeling it pound under his palm. I… hate my father? No! No, no, no, I don’t hate my father! He’s a great guy. He’s just cold and cruel and shuts down my emotions--no!
Ladybug was still pacing, but she gave him a measured look. “You hate your father?” she said, frowning slightly. “Are you sure you’re okay, Adrien?”
“No, I’m not okay at all, I’m actually really sad and horrified because I’m facing this uncomfortable truth about myself and I can’t stop talking even though I want to and I’m terrified that you’re going to think I’m imperfect even though I know I’m not perfect but I have to be perfect because that’s what I’ve been told I have to be and every time I realize that I’m not perfect I’m absolutely devastated!”
By this point he was panting, holding his face. He couldn’t control what he was saying at all. If Ladybug asked him another question, he would surely reveal himself, and then she would be upset, and he couldn’t bear to have her upset with him because people being upset with him meant he’d messed up and--
“Adrien,” Ladybug murmured, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You don’t have to be perfect. I like you just the way you are.”
Tears stung Adrien’s eyes. “Thank you. You’re very sweet. I don’t believe you, of course, but that’s nothing to do with you, it’s just because I don’t trust people very well and even though I wrap praise around me like a warm blanket I get it so infrequently at home that I’m like a rat in a nicotine experiment, always looking for the next fix, and compliments contradict my own self-views, which are that I’m fairly worthless as a person and--”
“Oh, my gosh!” Ladybug said, wrapping him up in a hug so tight, he choked. “You’re not worthless at all!”
Adrien had to salvage the situation. He desperately searched for an innocuous topic. Something harmless, that wouldn’t lead him into trouble and confessing something even more uncomfortable.
“Also, I kind of hate my father’s hair, have you seen it? I hope the shape isn't genetic because it looks terrible but it’s probably better than having a receding hairline or going bald at his age but he is kind of old except that I don’t actually know how old he is.”
Ladybug pulled back from Adrien, horror etched on her face. “You don’t know how old your own father is?”
“Not really, no, because he doesn’t much tell me about himself, which is totally okay because I’m beneath him and don’t really deserve to be part of his inner circle because I’m so needy and--”
“You’re not!” Ladybug yelled, throwing her hands in the air. “Why do you think so poorly of yourself, Adrien? You’re wonderful!”
Adrien bit his lip. He thought poorly of himself. This seemed to be true. But why? Examining the truth was painful, much too painful, so he found another truth to focus on. “Speaking of hair, I find Chloe’s hair is super shiny and touchable and soft but I hate the way it smells and sometimes I want to cut it all off.”
Ladybug covered her mouth, holding back a strained giggle. “I love your sense of humor, but do you really think this is the time?”
“It’s not a joke,” Adrien said, scrubbing his hands over his face. “Another thing with hair that isn’t a joke but a lot of people think it is is that I want to grow a beard someday and I think it’d look really good but my father says I can’t even though I think it’d be cool--”
“Don’t grow a beard,” Ladybug said, striking him right through the heart. She winced, apparently at the crestfallen expression he gave her. She patted his shoulder and left her hand there.“Blonds rarely look good with beards. They end up all patchy and gross.”
Adrien coughed into his fist. “Anyway, do you know who has really nice hair? Luka Couffaine, that’s who. I am super jealous of Luka because he’s smart and good looking and older and I think Marinette likes him a lot and that just kills me.”
What? Adrien thought, stunned. He hadn’t realized he liked Marinette so much. Did he? He’d always thought she was clever and beautiful and kind and compassionate and fierce and--oh. I guess I do.
“W-What?” Ladybug said, drawing her hand back as if she’d been burned. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng?”
“Yeah, she’s my first friend I made all by myself and I don’t want to ruin that at all by telling her that I lo--and sometimes I pretend that you’re Marinette and I know I’m just being ridiculous,” Adrien said, rubbing the back of his neck.
What? Adrien thought. He’d been thinking that a lot over the course of this conversation. I… I do? Marinette Dupain-Cheng was amazing. She was their everyday Ladybug. His everyday Ladybug.
Not that he owned her, because of course he didn’t. But he was very quickly realizing that he was head over heels for her and wanted her to be something more than just a friend to him.
And of course it took an akuma to make him face that truth.
Ladybug hadn’t said anything. She was staring at him with a dropped jaw. He cleared his throat, and she blinked, seeming to come back to herself. “Hahaha! I c-can’t be Marientte! That’s just silly!” Her smile was wide and looked uncomfortable.
“Why not?” Adrien said, tilting his head. And he really wanted to know the answer to that, but then the curse of the akuma kicked in again. He really, really wanted to tell her he was Chat Noir. Badly. And he wanted her to tell him who she was. Terribly.
And he couldn’t, but she couldn’t, so he opened his mouth and another confession tumbled out. “Also have you seen stickers? I think they’re really neat.”
Whew. That one’s harmless.
Buoyed by his success, Adrien forged onwards. “And Slurpade is disgusting, I can’t believe anyone drinks that stuff.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty gross,” Ladybug agreed, and Adrien beamed at her.
“Also I told Nino Lahiffe I liked his latest mix but it was actually super uninspired compared to his previous work and--” No, no, no! I hope she doesn’t know Nino! “--And Rose Lavillant is super cute and I love her singing voice but she can get kinda annoying with how hyper she is and I can’t understand Juleka Couffaine at all…”
Ladybug rubbed her opposite elbow. “I, uh, didn’t know you felt that way.” She swallowed. “I don’t think anyone knew you felt this way.”
Do I feel this way? Adrien thought, desperate to deny that he did but finding himself unable to. It was easier to question whether he felt a certain way rather than to deny it straight up.
“And I told Lila Rossi we were friends but we’re not really friends, I actually might kinda hate her--”
“I don’t blame you there,” Ladybug said, narrowing her eyes. The switch from fragile, shrinking violet to scorned, confident woman was amazingly quick. Her posture changed entirely: rather than hunched shoulders, she threw them back. Rather than gripping her elbow, she tucked her elbows by her sides and clenched her fists. Her back was straight and tall and proud and her feet were shoulder-length apart. “I have to hold myself back from hating Lila, too.”
Adrien objected immediately. “No, no, no, no, no, Ladybug shouldn’t hate anyone! You’re perfect!”
Ladybug winced. “I’m human, Adrien.”
“I know,” Adrien said, his gaze softening. Then he realized he was about to confess his love to Ladybug, and if he did that, surely she would figure out he was Chat. So he tried a different tact. “By the way have you seen Alya Cesaire? Her figure is fine. I mean I know she’s Nino’s girlfriend but like holy heck, she’s got a very impressive body. And she’s super smart, too. Nino’s a lucky guy.”
What the heck am I saying! Adrien thought, absolutely horrified. He’d never checked out Alya. But… he did think that she was ridiculously attractive. All of his friends were!
Ladybug blinked at him. She glanced to her feet, giving a tug on her pigtail again, this time half-heartedly. He thought he smelled the salt of tears, but she wasn’t crying yet. “D-Do you have a crush on Alya?”
“No, not at all!” Adrien said, waving his hands frantically. “I love you so very much, I’ve been in love with you since our eyes first met, and I just couldn’t bear to see you get hu--”
“You love me?” Ladybug said, eyes blowing wide. She bit her lip, pink coloring crawling over her cheeks. “Really?”
“Absolutely,” Adrien said fervently. “I’m so in love with you it hurts. It hurts so much because you appear to love another boy and that just kills me. I think I’m also in love with Marinette Dupain-Cheng and I’m all torn up about that and it actually makes me feel terrible because I’m supposed to only love one girl at a time and Kagami wants to date me but I’m not ready to date her because I’m totally head over heels for you and probably Marinette, too, aaaah!”
Adrien buried his face in his hands, chastising himself for missing Ladybug’s reaction. But he couldn’t bear to look at her. He was so close to telling her he was Chat. And he couldn’t. But he had to. He must; the compulsion was too strong.
He wrapped his arms around himself, panting through his panic. Get a hold of yourself, Agreste! His vision was darkening at the corners; he felt lightheaded and swayed on his feet.
“Adrien?” Ladybug’s gentle voice filtered down to him. His gaze snapped to her, focusing on her face and her Jello blue eyes. “I… I don’t know what to say, but are you okay?”
Tears rolled down Adrien’s cheeks. “Hi, I know you know I’m Apisk but I’m really sorry, I’ve been in love with you since the very beginning of the hero business, and I’m super sorry about this but I’m also Chat Noir, so--”
Ladybug slammed a hand over his mouth. He jerked back, and her hand traveled with him. “No!” she shouted, trepidation filling her eyes. “You did not just say that to me, Adrien Agreste!”
Adrien mumbled under her hand, trying to tell her how sorry he was. He placed a trembling hand on her wrist, trying to communicate with his eyes how terrified he was of her rejection.
After a few moments of staring at each other, Ladybug tore her hand away from his mouth. “Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, you’re him!” she yelled, pointing her finger at his chest. “You’re Chat Noir!”
“Yes,” Adrien whispered, pressing his fists to his lips. “Yes, I’m Chat Noir. Also I really hate camembert the stuff stinks and melts in my clothes and I get the runs when I eat it and--”
Plagg’s laughter drifted up from his pocket. They both ignored him.
Ladybug facepalmed. “Of course you’re Chat Noir. You have to be,” she said, threading her hands through her hair. “I can’t… I mean… I just… Augh!”
Adrien let loose a choked sob. Never did he think he’d get to this point, where he’d put Ladybug in a compromising position--and she’d hate him for it. He wiped his blocked nose on the back of his wrist. “It’s also super hot when you give me orders during battle.”
That was not what he meant to say. At all. Of course it wasn’t. But it was a truth, one that set his cheeks on fire. He and Ladybug both groaned.
Ladybug gave him a pained look. “Well,” she whispered. “Now that you’ve told me your deepest, darkest secrets, what else do you have to say, Chat?”
“Lots,” Adrien said, digging himself ever deeper. He started shaking uncontrollably, barely able to get the words out. “I told you I came up with all my puns myself but I actually frequently google new ones to impress you.”
Ladybug looked torn between laughing and crying. She giggled, tears welling in her eyes. “What else?”
“I love how your hands are so small and perfect and fit in mine so perfectly because mine are gigantic and I’m always breaking things with them.”
Ladybug’s gaze flicked down to his trembling hands, held in front of him. Swallowing around his thick tongue, he offered them to her for inspection. She stepped closer to him and traced one finger along his life line. The touch tickled him, so he shivered. “What else?”
“I wanted to cry that time you got eaten by a dinosaur but I didn’t because I’m not allowed or supposed to do that,” Adrien said, letting loose a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. Tears dripped off his chin. “I’m crying now because I think you hate me.”
Ladybug gasped. She tugged him into a hug, cupping the back of his head and placing her cheek against his. “I could never hate you, Chat!” she cried. Then she seemed to calm down again. “Adrien. I… I don’t hate you at all.”
She pulled back, cupping his cheek. “I love you, Adrien Agreste.”
Adrien gaped at her. Her raspberry blue eyes were shining with so much determination and fierce adoration that he instantly believed her. “You love me? Worthless Adrien Agreste?”
Ladybug scowled, and Adrien started to panic again, terrified that he’d upset her. “Promise me you’ll get therapy for your self-esteem issues.”
“I’ll do my best,” Adrien said, offering her a tremulous smile.
Ladybug surged forward, planting a kiss on the corner of his mouth before jerking away from him. Adrien sucked a breath over his teeth.
“Listen, I’ve got to go and defeat this akuma,” Ladybug said, unhooking her yo-yo from around her waist. “Stay right here, okay? Don’t you dare move.”
“I won’t.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” Ladybug said, smiling a little. “We’ll talk, all right? When I get back?”
Adrien had to ask this question. He had to. “Will you tell me who you are?”
Ladybug’s expression shuttered. “Kitty,” she started, and Adrien’s heart twisted in his chest. “I… I’m not ready yet, okay? But… Let me think on it?”
“Okay, Ladybug,” Adrien said, offering her a shaky thumbs up. “Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here. I’ll wait for you. I can always wait for you.”
And because it passed from his lips, Adrien knew that statement was true. He could wait for her as long as she needed.
Fortunately, he didn’t have to wait for very long. Ten minutes after she’d left, her magical ladybugs flowed over him, releasing him from the urge to let truths dribble from his lips with drool.
Ladybug returned to him then, finding him pacing on the rooftop with his hands clasped behind his back.
“So,” she said, scuffing the ground with her toes. “You’re him. You’re Chat Noir.”
Adrien nodded, too scared to speak.
Ladybug gripped her elbow again, looking fragile enough to break. “I’m sorry about freaking out about it.”
Her earrings chirped three times. “Ladybug,” Adrien said, his eyes wide. “Your earrings…”
She offered him her hand. “Come with me.”
He took it gladly, hope swelling in his heart. He still had tear tracks drying on his face, but as she carried him into a nearby alleyway, he was both apprehensive and excited for what was going to happen next.
Ladybug gently set him down on his feet and wrung her hands. “Okay, promise me you won’t panic?”
“I promise,” Adrien said, bouncing on the balls of his feet.
“I can’t tell if you’re telling the truth or not,” Ladybug joked, and Adrien laughed. “Okay. You ready?”
“More than ever.”
“Tikki,” Ladybug said, smiling at him. “Spots off.”
The pink transformation light washed over her, and the two disparate halves of her identity became one person for Adrien: Marinette Dupain-Cheng. The realization that he’d only loved one person slammed into his brain, making him gasp for air.
Adrien sucked down a great, huge breath of precious oxygen and leapt forward with a whoop, wrapping her up in an embrace. He picked her up and swung her around, making her laugh.
“Adrien!” Marinette said, giggling. He peppered her face with kisses.
“It’s you,” Adrien said, on cloud nine and beyond. “I wanted it to be you.”
Plagg phased out of Adrien’s pocket and tackled Tikki. “Sugarcube!”
“Stinky sock!” Tikki squealed, rolling in the air with the black cat kwami.
Marinette cupped Adrien’s cheeks, pressing her chest up against his. She seemed like she didn’t want to be put down, and that was just fine with Adrien. “You really don’t mind that I’m Ladybug?” she asked, looking at him from under her lashes.
“Of course not,” Adrien said, grinning from ear to ear. “I love you, Marinette.” He took her hand in his and pressed a kiss to her wrist. “And it took me an akuma to see it.”
Marinette snorted. “I’m not thanking Hawkmoth for this.”
Adrien laughed. He felt free, his heart unburdened from all those horrible secrets he’d kept for so long. That Marinette knew who he was an accepted him, even as worthless as he was...
Well, in truth, things couldn’t be better.