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“Petite Hughie, is everything alright?” He heard Frenchie ask through the haze of panic surging through his chest. Shaking his head in response Hughie backed into the fence wall and bent over, putting his hands on his knees. Butcher was back, and he was acting like everything was fine. Like everything was fucking normal … like Hughie’s life didn’t go to absolute shit before the fucking new year. Hughie’s hands began shaking and Butcher’s voice rang in his ears.
“Butch shut up,” he heard Mother’s Milk say as someone placed a hand on his shoulder. Hughie shoved the person off and began pacing anxiously as the world swirled around him. Butcher grumbled then asked,
“Why? Because the kid’s being a fucking cunt right now?” Hughie felt his chest seize again and he gasped for air. He couldn’t breath, didn’t they know he couldn’t fucking breath.
“Petite Hughie tell us what you need,” Frenchie said. Now that he had decent control over his eyesight he could see Frenchie’s face directly in front of his. Hughie shook his head and sunk to the ground, trying to find one thing to focus on.
“Can’t breathe,” Hughie said, pulling his knees to his chest. He took a shuddering breath, trying to control his hyperventilation. Frenchie frowned,
“I do not understand Petite Hughie, you are breathing fine.” Hughie shook his head then shakily reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He managed to unlock the screen, but his hands were too uncontrollable and he dropped the phone. The screen cracked when it fell on the pavement. He had to go, get away. The others being so close didn’t help the trapped feeling crawling across his skin. Hughie couldn’t mark the second, but his breathing quickly melded into panicked hyperventilation.
“Kid what’s going on?” He heard Butcher ask, suddenly way too close for his personal space. Hughie scampered away from the suddenly crowded wall and to the corner of their hideout. Mother’s Milk realized Butcher was what set off the initial panic and dragged him further away from Hughie. Frenchie stayed close by, but took care not to touch him.
“Panic - panic attack -” Hughie managed to choke out through his gasps for air. Frenchie ordered Butcher and Mother’s Milk to stay where they were and crossed the room in a few short strides.
“Petite Hughie, you wish us to call someone?” He asked, obviously confused about the situation. Hughie nodded then tried to say what that he wanted them to call Annie, that without Annie his world was crumbling to pieces. When he spoke though, his voice came out in a choppy garbled mess. He pulled his head between his knees as his eyes started to well up with tears. Kimiko, god bless her soul, walked over to him and slid a piece of scrap paper and a crayon into his line of vision, however blurry it was. He managed to spell out Annie’s name in scribbled letters before the dizziness in his head got too much and fuzzy dots began to fill his vision.
“Annie? You want us to call Stargirl?”
“There is no way in hell are we calling that fucking cunt. She’s a superhero , what good will she do?” The blurred images of his friends danced through Hughie’s now all too heavy eyelids.
“Hey Petite Hughie, you must stay awake,” a voice said softly. Hughie didn’t really get why though. He was just so fucking exhausted , it made a lot more sense for him to sleep. The fuzzy image of Frenchie’s concerned face was the last thing he saw before Hughie closed his eyes and his head hit the cold cement floor with a thunk .
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When Hughie woke up the first thing he noticed was that his breathing was back under control. That tended to happen when he passed out, his breathing resets when his brain shuts down his systems. It wasn’t the first time it happened either, just the first time it happened with The Boys. “Fuck,” Hughie cussed, staring at the light fixture attached to the ceiling above his bunk. They must have moved him after he passed out, and he tried not to let that embarrass him too much. They’ve all had to treat each other’s injuries before but this was different.
This was so different, and Hughie wasn’t going to be ready for Butcher’s infamous you’re a pussy and a cunt speech. Despite his best efforts he couldn’t remember what happened before he passed out. He remembered the panic first settling in after Mother’s Milk yelled at him… Butcher walking down the stairs in all his motherfucking glory. “Fuck me ,” he muttered. After having a panic attack like that one, all he wanted to do was curl up into his mattress and never return to the land of the living. Suddenly, when he was in the middle of burrowing into his one, really thin blanket, a voice spoke up.
“Well if you’re offering we should have a jackoff session later you cunt,” Butcher said lowering into the chair next to his bunk. Hughie shot straight up and muttered an impressive strand of cuss words at the sudden head rush he felt boiling at the back of his head. He winced in pain and raised a hand to the offending area of pain.
“Fuck off,” Hughie groaned, collapsing back onto the bed, curling away from Butcher. The man tsked then dragged the chair closer to his bed. With a sigh Butcher said,
“You want to tell us what just fucking happened mate?” Hughie just raised up his right hand and flicked Butcher off with his middle finger. “right,” Butcher said with a contemplative sigh. He reached forward and patted Hughie on the shoulder. “Well, I’ll leave you two too it then. You’re bloody fucking lucky mate. I was outvoted.” He turned to face the doorway and shouted, “hey cunt! It’s your turn with the kid!” Hughie frowned when he heard Butcher leave his bunk and someone else sit in the chair. He was curious to see who it was, but not curious enough to take the energy he needed to turn around.
“Go away,” Hughie groaned as he pulled his knees to his chest. To his surprise the person just laughed, and he knew he would never forget the sound of that laugh.
“Hughie, I’d do that but then I’d leave you to be comforted by Butcher and I think his version of comforting someone is taking them on a mass murder spree,” Annie said, chuckling at her own joke. Hughie slowly uncurled himself and managed to turn away from the fall to face her.
“Hey,” Hughie said softly, voice still hoarse from the fit of panic. Annie handed him a bottle of water, which he took gratefully. Annie smiled softly at him and said,
“Hey.” After a beat of silence she asked, “do you want to talk about it? All Frenchie said was that you had a panic attack.” Hughie nodded mutley, not offering any more information. Annie frowned slightly, but quickly recovered her expression. “Do they happen often?” She asked, Hughie snorted. Yeah, just about every time we kill someone. Or someone dies. Or something happens.
“You can say that,” Hughie said lying back into the pile of blankets. She rolled her eyes,
“I swear, you and your boys are more dramatic than Homlander is.” After a brief moment of hesitation she said, “scooch over.” Ignoring his blatant look of confusion, Annie curled up onto the mattress next to him. Hughie frowned, but shifted so his back was against the wall and she was pressed against his chest. She pulled his arm over her waist and he pulled her close to him smelling her shampoo. He cringed, then apologized,
“Sorry.” Annie turned over so they were both facing each other. Her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.
“What for?” She asked. Hughie shrugged then brushed a loose strand of hair out of her face. “Hey,” Annie said grabbing his wrist and locking their fingers together. “Sorry for what?” Hughie shrugged again,
“I smell, you don’t.” Annie gaped at him in disbelief. “I’m sorry,” Hughie apologized again after assuming he made a mistake. Annie tightened her arm around his waist, preventing him from turning to face the wall again.
“You’re an idiot.” Hughie frowned again. Annie gestured to her civilian clothes, “I came all this way for you Hughie. Because I was worried about you , and you honestly think I’d break up with you because you smell?” Hughie shrugged then tried to turn away from her to avoid the conversation. She leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on his lips, he relaxed under her touch, previous night’s events completely forgotten.
“I don’t deserve you,” Hughie said as she began to run her fingers through his hair. Annie chuckled and shook her head,
“You do Hughie. We love each other alright? One day at a time, you aren’t scaring me away anytime soon.” Sleepily he curled around Annie as he said,
“I love you too.” Hughie’s eyelids grew heavier as his world turned to black and he fell into the first peaceful night of sleep he’s had since the clusterfuck of his life after Translucent’s murder.