Chapter Text
Being in the most powerful mob in Italy, in arguably the most dangerous line of work within it, and DEFINITELY in the lowest-paid bracket, Gelato and Sorbet firmly opposed having children. Of course they wanted to be parents more than anything, Gelato especially, but given the circumstances, everything was impossible. A baby was the furthest thing from their minds at the moment- Raising one while working as hitmen in the most powerful organization in the country was unthinkable for the child’s own safety. So, babies were something to consider post-retirement. Being parents was unthinkable to the two hitmen, considering the lives they led.
So they thought.
The inseparable pair of lovers were more than happy on one of their weekly dates. As they walked down the streets, dressed in plainclothes and joined at the hip, Gelato noticed something that chilled his hardened heart.
Crying.
“Sorbetto, listen.” He whispered, trying to better gauge the sound. His lover frowned, and upon looking for danger, noticed something that wasn’t their own threat- He noticed a baby inside of a parked car, strapped in a toddler seat, with the windows rolled up and no parents in sight.
“Gelato, look!” Sorbet called, dragging his boyfriend to the aforementioned car. The baby inside looked to be roughly two or three, with a head of fluffy blonde hair and a red, tear-stained face. Despite the unusually hot summer, it was dressed in a flannel onesie with ducks patterned along the sleeves. The car door was burning to the touch- If it were left alone in the car any longer, that baby would boil alive. Its sobbing reached the pair’s ears, and both men felt their instincts take over.
Sorbet didn’t spare a glance when Gelato said “Break the window.” With complete disregard for their own safety, the men attempted to break open the back on the side of the baby. When his stand did absolutely nothing to help, Sorbet went with his best area of experience: Smashing windows with heavy objects. He grabbed for a nearby decorative rock, pushed Gelato to the side, and slammed it against the window. Thankfully, it shattered easily, and no glass had touched the little kid. Gelato reached in and hurried to unbuckle it’s belt, pulling the little kid into his arms to soothe it. “Sorbetto, amore, get the handkerchief we bought-“ He said, not able to finish his sentence before Sorbet handed it off. Gelato wiped the child’s face down, ridding it of the built up tears and sweat. His stand, Soundgarden, appeared and the nearest tree’s branches extended above them, leaves intertwining to create a breezy and shady patch. Sorbet sat with them both, bumping his hands against his lover’s in an attempt to undo the child’s onsie to cool it off.
By now, the kid was calm. It’s tears had stopped, and it only made subdued hiccup noises. Gelato mumbled comforting nonsense, while Sorbet held it’s hands and brushed hair off it’s face. “Shit, shit shit!! Who leaves their fucking baby in a heatwave like that? Dressed in winter clothes, too? In the middle of the fucking summer! It could’ve died!” Sorbet ranted under his breath, still doing his best to keep the kid from sweating.
“Poor thing, left alone by your mama and papa like that... They must have forgotten you in the car.” Gelato mused, carefully removing the baby from its onesie. “We need to find it’s parents.” He said, turning to his boyfriend with an almost vacant stare. “I’m going to give them the talking of their fucking lives. Who leaves a baby in the car like that? It’s almost as if-“ Gelato cut himself off to face the baby again. “Poor kiddo.”
Sorbet’s face hardened. “We need to give it back. Or at least wait here until someone comes for it.” He said, looking back at the car. Despite the ruckus they had probably made, nobody had even approached it at all. He looked back to the baby before standing. “Let me check the car.” He said.
As his boyfriend searched for any kind of registration or identification that could lead to the kid’s parents, Gelato stood up with the baby perched in his arms. “Let’s get you water, hm? You’re gonna need it.” He said, and realized he resisted the urge to kiss it’s forehead. A quick stop at a kiosk a block away yielded two water bottles for the three of them.
“Any luck?” Gelato asked, approaching Sorbet at the car. He shook his head. “I found a diaper bag. That’s it. It’s got nothing except a couple diapers and an empty bottle. Oh, and this.” He produced a plastic, hospital-issue bracelet from his pocket. “It’s got her name, I think. Uh...” He squinted at the name. “It’s French. Can’t pronounce it.”
Gelato glanced at the tag and read aloud “Hosanger, Chantelle. Gender: F. Her date of birth. And the name of the hospital.” He said, looking back up at Sorbet. “Her name’s Chantelle. It’s a sweet name.” He said, balancing the baby on one hip to crack open a bottle of water.
Sorbet nodded. “She’s cute. Kinda looks like you with the hair.” He acknowledged, still looking around the street. “How much longer should we wait?”
Gelato hummed. “You said you couldn’t find any ID in the car?” Sorbet shook his head. “It looks like a pretty expensive car, too. You don’t think...” Sorbet didn’t want to face the thought of anyone hiding their identity to kill a child.
“I fucking hope not.” Gelato sighed. “Let’s just wait a little longer and take care of her until the mom comes.”
So they waited.
For three hours.
No mother in sight. Nobody who spared a passing glance to the car or the kid.
“Fuck this! If the mom tried to kill the kid, she doesn’t deserve her!” Sorbet said, standing up and smacking his palm against his temple. “I say we take it home for now. If there’s a reward for a kidnapped kid, we take it and give her back. For now, she can stay with us.”
Gelato nodded furiously, trying to calm Chantelle, who clearly didn’t take kindly to yelling. “We‘ll need to buy clothes and baby stuff. Does the bracelet say how old she is? I can’t remember.”
Sorbet fished it out of his pocket and looked. “Yeah uh... She’s... Two and a half. Turns three in four months. Damn...” He mumbled, shoving it back.
Gelato sighed and began to bounce her on his knee. The girl clearly liked it, giggling furiously in his arms. Sorbet and Gelato smiled and immediately began cooing at her. “Let’s get her some summer dresses. She’s gonna need them.”
Two baby stores later, and the three were walking home to their base. Gelato was more than happy to carry the bags while Sorbet had a chance to hold Chantelle, who had passed out with her head on his shoulder. Outside their home front door, halfway through turning the key, Gelato suddenly halted.
“Gelato?” Sorbet asked, nearly whispering so he didn’t wake up the girl. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
Gelato forced a laugh, looking towards his boyfriend and their newly-acquired daughter.
“How the hell are we gonna explain this to Risotto?”
“...So that’s why we have a baby. We’re gonna take care of her until someone reports a missing kid, then we’ll give her back.” Gelato finished his recap with a half-smile, acknowledging the baby sleeping in his arms. “It shouldn’t take long. I mean, if I were a parent, and I found my car window broken in and my baby missing, I’d report that shit as soon as possible, so she’ll probably be gone sooner rather than later.”
Risotto blinked, and Sorbet swore that was the first time his capo had moved since he and his boyfriend came home with a baby. “I see.” He said shortly. “You’re going to be doing all the childcare. Not dumping it with any of your teammates. A baby is a major risk and inconvenience that none of us need. I have half a mind to tell you to just turn her in to an orphanage.” He unfolded his hands and stood up from his spot on the couch. “She will stay out of our way.” He said coldly, walking to Gelato to get a closer look at the sleeping child. “She cannot become a risk to our lives, and your position will not be a risk to her life. Am I clear?” He said, in the same monotonous tone. Gelato and Sorbet both nodded furiously. “We’ll take care of her, Boss. It won’t be a big deal.” Sorbet said with a grin, looking up to his capo, who merely nodded and stepped out of the room.
“See that it doesn’t.”
In no time at all, Sorbet and Gelato had adjusted to their new life as parents to a toddler. They adjusted their date nights to when she would be sleeping, always had one person with her at all times, and if anybody in their team looked at her the wrong way, Sorbet would chew them out. It was really a wonderful arrangement.
The other men had grown used to her, too. Illuso would do her hair in bows and ribbons, and Formaggio was more than happy to shrink regular-sized clothes down to her height. Pesci was beyond excited at the thought of a baby, and liked to play peek-a-boo with her while she grabbed at his neck. Others, like Prosciutto, Ghiaccio, and Risotto, kept their distance. Not out of fear for Sorbet’s angry lectures, but simply because they either worried for the baby, or didn’t like children. In Risotto’s case, it was both.
After weeks of time with the child, and no note of anybody missing a baby or reporting a break-in, Gelato began to realize he had lied to Risotto. This... Arrangement had turned into a full-on adoption. While he and Sorbet were ecstatic at the thought of being fathers, they couldn’t help but worry about her, or one of them, getting hurt.
Gelato was snapped out of his train of thought by a tiny hand grasping at his collar. He smiled and looked down at the girl- his girl- and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead. “Yes? What is it, Chantelle?” He asked, lifting her up to look at her face.
“Papa!” The baby squealed, pointing at his nose. “Papa!”
Gelato felt his heart melt. This was the first time she had spoken. At all. Ever since she came home, her vocabulary had consisted of babbling and pointing at things she wanted. “Sorbet!” He called over his shoulder, looking back to his baby with the biggest smile. “Yes! I’m Papa! Papa Gelato!” He said, covering her little face with kisses. Sorbet came sprinting in. “Is everything okay?” He asked, placing a hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder.
Chantelle squealed in delight, pointing at Sorbet. “Papa! Papa!” She said, obviously pleased with their happiness at her words. Sorbet gasped and launched his body over the back of the couch, sitting beside his lover and his baby. “Papa Sorbet! That’s me! Good job! Good girl!” He said happily, kissing her chubby cheeks. “And that’s Papa Gela! Can you say that?”
“Papa Sorbee! Papa Gela!” She said with a giggle, pointing between her two dads. Ecstatic at their girl finally speaking, the two men cuddled her between them and covered her in kisses. “God job! Good girl!” They said, sharing contagious smiles. “Look at you go! Such a good little girl! Our smart girl!”
The baby babble continued for hours, mostly consisting of names. Chantelle was over the moon at learning her own name, clapping her hands and calling herself “Chan.” Gelato even rushed to their room to get his camcorder and film his daughter’s first words. Soon enough, as all babies do, she grew tired, and collapsed between her dads. Neither of them dared to move. Sorbet didn’t stop smiling as he wrapped his arm around Gelato, whose eyes were beginning to close.
“I love you.” Gelato said, twisting his chest to kiss his boyfriend’s cheek. Sorbet smiled and returned the smooch. “I love you, too. So god damn much.” He said with a heavy sigh. “Y’know, if you told me we would become parents by stealing a kid, while we were working as hitmen in the fuckin’ mob, I wouldn’t have believed you.” He laughed.
Gelato nodded in agreement. “I always thought we’d have kids after we could.... retire. But, with everything that happened with me, and all our money going towards living... I’m happy. I’m happy that we can finally be parents.”
Gelato smiled and closed his eyes, leaning his head against a half-asleep Sorbet’s shoulder. “Yeah... I think we can make this work.”