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Fushiguro Megumi was not in touch with his emotions. If asked, most of his companions would agree, save Itadori Yuuji, who is completely clueless to the feelings of others and should not be counted.
Megumi spends a lot of his time observing others. A skill he had to pick up quickly, when people asked weird questions all the time, and eventually he learned what answers would keep him safe. This doesn’t make him an expert judge of character, because he notices patterns in people’s behavior without thinking about what they mean. Also, he often doesn’t pick the answers that keep him safe. Because he’s an idiot, mostly.
You have to develop strange tactics to survive, both as a jujutsu sorcerer and as a human being. There is a logical line of A to B that one can follow, to see how Megumi got to where he is today. It makes sense.
Of course, that requires knowing that that line exists at all.
Megumi likes to think that he and Kugisaki have an understanding of lines and their existence, though he’s not sure why. He thinks they’re kind of similar. More similar than him and Itadori, anyway. Unfortunately, Kugisaki is just self-centered enough to not pick up on Megumi’s particular line of thinking.
Kugisaki is just clueless enough to flop onto the stone steps looking out at the training field and sigh, or maybe it’s a groan, and say to Megumi, “Crushes are the worst . How do you handle it?”
This is a confusing line of questioning, but not alarming. Easily solved. Megumi gives her a look, which Kugisaki does not notice because deciphering Fushiguro’s microexpressions is a practiced art, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Kugisaki gives him a look, much more noticeable, with a frown and a creasing of the brows. She is, as always, painfully, blessedly blunt. “Itadori?”
Megumi is clueless, but he’s able to do some basic calculation. Kugisaki thinks he has a crush on Itadori. The thought makes him feel… Bad? He swallows reflexively, like he’s nauseous but he’s not. Nervous action. Why would he be nervous? Kugisaki isn’t stupid enough to judge him for hypothetically ‘liking’ another guy, and anyway he’s fairly certain he knows who Kugisaki’s crush is, considering who is currently doing warm ups on the field, so it’s a moot point.
Megumi has been staring at Kugisaki, he realizes, because she waves a hand in front of his face. Her expression is grim. “Did I spark some kind of revelation? I don’t really want to deal with that.”
“No revelation.” Megumi says flatly. “You’re mistaken.”
“Well now it’s a matter of pride.” Kugisaki declares. “Why do you think you don’t like Itadori?”
“Because I don’t?”
Kugisaki pauses to think, before asking, “Have you ever had a crush on anyone ?”
Megumi opens his mouth and closes it. He remembers people from elementary and middle school, even some names. But… He didn’t let himself get close to people, and everyday school life had seemed almost vapid compared to the world of curses and sorcery.
Kugisaki throws her hands up. “You wouldn’t even know! You wouldn’t even know, Fushiguro.”
Megumi feels, childishly, like he needs to get back at her. “And how would you know?”
Kugisaki, to her infinite credit, doesn’t flinch. “It’s when you want to protect someone, and them to protect you! And you want to talk to them and be around them even when you’re not doing anything. And you want to hold their hand and kiss them! And -”
“Augh!” Megumi says, throwing up his hands this time. “Okay, stop. That’s more than I wanted to know.”
“You asked .”
“Right, well. It’s not like that.”
“Uh-huh,” Kugisaki says, absolutely not convinced. “He is your type, though.”
Megumi doesn’t have anything to say to that.
That doesn’t mean Megumi is wrong . He doesn’t have a crush on Itadori. He doesn’t have a crush on anyone. Ever!
Yes, he said he likes compassionate people, and that answer might have been way too honest for Todo , but a lot of people are compassionate. Probably, he doesn’t know a lot of people. Okay, he… Cares about Itadori. And Itadori cares about him in an alarming and overwhelming way, a way nobody’s ever done before, loud and boisterous. They have each other’s backs. But Itadori’s never not done anything, always moving and filling comfortable silences, and Megumi has never thought - about anyone! He -
“Kid,” Gojo says, and Megumi nearly launches himself at the ceiling. “As funny as it is to watch you wear a line in the mat, I think I should probably stop you.”
Oh, God. Megumi had gotten to the agreed upon training time early (even though Gojo is always late). Gojo is now squatting on the floor by the wall, watching him. How long had he been there?!
“You wanna talk about it?” Gojo asks, nosy as ever.
“No!” Megumi says, voice cracking a little. What is wrong with him?
“Hm,” Gojo says. “No offense, but you’re gonna be kind of useless like this. And after I came all this way…”
“You live here.” Megumi counters. But he knows Gojo is right. It’s just, Gojo is the last person he wants to talk to about this. “It’s about… Feelings.”
Gojo nods, like he has those.
“For. People.” Megumi scrunches his face, like he’s disgusted, and Gojo barks a laugh. Megumi never wants to be an adult like that.
“Is this about love ?” Gojo asks, rocking back on his heels to lean forward, head tilted.
“No! Everyone thinks that!” Megumi says, waving his hands around, nearly frantic. He is useless like this. “I don’t. Think about it. That. Me .”
Gojo nods again. That cannot have been decipherable. “You got all introspective and worked yourself up. Happens.” He waves Megumi over. “Sit down, it won’t kill you.”
Megumi feels lighter, somehow, like Gojo lifted a rock off him. Still, he sits appropriately far from Gojo. Gojo shrugs, used to it.
“Remember what I said about being selfish?” Gojo asks, and continues at Megumi’s nod (like he could ever forget?). “That extends to feelings. Like, it’s ok to have them.”
Silence. Megumi says, “That’s your advice?”
“Yeah, I’m not great at this. But I think I get the problem.” Gojo says, resting his head on his palm. “You eat when you’re hungry and sleep when you’re tired. What would you do if, hypothetically, you had feelings for someone.”
Megumi stutters to a halt. He can’t - he doesn’t have time to date anyone, and even before then he’d be rejected for sure, and it would make things weird?
Gojo’s voice brings him back, “OK, pause. You know you don’t have to do anything about liking someone, right?”
Megumi doesn’t like that. He has regrets, he knows, with so many people. He chews on his lip, but Gojo seems to be expecting an answer this time. “What if I regret it, though?”
Something flits across Gojo’s face, and he doesn’t recover that well. He looks up, head tilted toward the ceiling. “Don’t have the answer to that one. But hell, you’re young, you shouldn’t be thinking of that stuff. Just, uh… Value the time you have, that kind of stuff. And if you’re lucky, when the time is right , they’ll still be there.”
Megumi frowns. “That’s… Smart.”
“With age comes experience!” Gojo says, brightly. “And also pain when sitting like this for an extended period of time.” Despite that, he springs to a standing position easily. “No training today, go sleep or something. You got hobbies, right?”
Megumi frowns up at him, and doesn’t answer.