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"DAZAI!"
The high-pitched screech has said man violently rousing from his nap, nearly tumbling to the ground with how fast he tried to get up with his sleep-hazed mind. Another ear-piercing scream has him bolting to the bathroom in record time, frantically asking what happened.
Chuuya has his back pressed against the wall, fists clenched so hard, they're shaking. Aligning with his body language, Chuuya sounds equally furious as he does spooked.
"Talk to me, Chuu."
No matter how much he's poked and prodded, Chuuya remains silent. It's then that Dazai notices the way blue eyes are piercing into their toilet.
Confused, he walks up to it, not surprised to see its clear water muddied with the contents of Chuuya's intestines. What has his eyebrows shooting to his hairline is the large, fist-sized oval that lays atop the mess.
"Is that..," he squints his eyes, "an egg?"
Some type of gurgled sound comes from the back of Chuuya's throat, maybe a groan, maybe another upcoming screech. Dazai doesn't know. He's too entranced by the strange thing sitting in their toilet.
"Calm down, Chibi. We don't know yet."
A disgusting quest to fish the mystery object and a thorough washing later, the couple finds out that it is, indeed, an egg. One that, apparently, came out of Chuuya.
"How the fuck did I lay an egg?" The redhead glances at the offending object that’s resting in Dazai's palm.
Chuuya slaps Dazai upside the head when he sees him trying to kiss it
"That was in my ass!"
"I've done more than kiss it before. Why are you so embarrassed now?"
"It was doused in shit."
"We washed it. It's the same as this beauty." Dazai grabs a handful of Chuuya's ass, squeezing it for good measure.
"Motherfucker--"
Today must be Dazai's lucky day, because his impending doom is foiled by movement coming from the egg. It's enough to startle both of them, Chuuya instinctively jumping away from the creature, and Dazai focusing on not dropping it
While Chuuya is muttering what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck under his breath, Dazai is calmly soothing the egg in his native language. One needn't know what he's saying when he's cradling the egg in both his palms that tenderly.
Warily taking a step closer, Chuuya peeks over Dazai's shoulder to peer at the now unmoving egg.
"Is it ok?" he asks, genuinely worried. Yes, Chuuya is still freaked the fuck out, but judging by how Dazai was able to somehow calm it with words, it's clear to him that, that egg is housing their child.
Dazai says more words that he can't understand, before lifting his palms, so that the egg comes to be at eye level with Chuuya.
Sensing his love's confusion, Dazai takes Chuuya's hand in his, slowly bringing it near the egg's surface. Almost immediately, the little thing begins to shuffle towards his outstretched fingers.
"Slime fetuses can sense when their parents are near and will actively try to reach out to them." Dazai explains, carefully setting the restless egg in Chuuya's hold, keeping his own hands cupped under for support.
"Usually, their underdeveloped tentacles will stretch out the pregnant parent's body until they can feel the other parent, but since our little one is in this strange shell, I'm guessing its vibrations are analogous to that.”
Chuuya's heart fills with warmth when the egg's tremors slow into low buzzing, as if its needs have been fulfilled now that it's in his palms.
"Although," Dazai lightly pokes at the egg, chuckling when it vibrates in response to his touch, "it's a bit smaller than normal at this stage. It should be about the size of a fully grown fetus now, but it's tiny."
Chuuya knows the beginning steps to this dance, nevertheless, the familiar taunt still grates on his nerves.
"It must take after you~"
Not wanting to risk jostling the egg too much, Chuuya opts for a different way to save his hurt pride.
"Baby, your daddy may be a genius, but he's also a dumbass that's this close to losing a mate." He coos at the egg, stroking it with a gentle finger. "Take after me, okay? Otherwise, your bloodline will die out."
Chuuya praises the egg as it does its best to nuzzle his palm.
"That hurts, Chuuya."
"Did you hear something, little one? Neither did I."
~
Turns out, Chuuya laying an egg is just as unheard of in the slime species as it is with humans. Akutagawa theorized that the need to burst out of something resulted in an egg forming inside Chuuya.
"On the bright side, at least you don't run the risk of dying. The only concern now is keeping this egg hydrated and making sure it stays safe, until it's ready to hatch."
So, the couple keeps their egg half submerged in water in a plastic container. The first time they gave it water, they nearly pissed themselves when the egg instantly grew in diameter.
"Chuuya, maybe if we water you, you'll grow, too!"
Dazai claims that the punch in the face was worth it. His easily bruising human skin would beg to differ.
They continue to water their egg like a plant for weeks, watching in awe as it grows with each passing day.
("We are not buying a water can."
"But Chuuya! It'll be adorable when we look back at the photos."
"...fine.")
They converse with it, shower it with affection, and take it with them wherever they go. It may only be an egg right now, but once it hatches, they'll be sharing these sweet memories with their very own kid. Their half human, half slime kid that they'll love as much as they love each other.
Really, they'd kill to protect this baby of theirs.
Which is exactly why they go batshit insane when it disappears from sight.
"What do you mean it's gone?!"
"Eggy was right here! I turned for one second , and then poof! Gone!"
It wasn't the first time the little egg had managed to escape its parents' watch, but it usually only got so far before being found. Now, however, with its expected hatching time (as predicted by Akutagawa) nearing and their search amounting to nothing, the duo can't help but freak out a little (or if you're Chuuya, a lot).
"I can sense its presence, but it's...everywhere."
Likely, the little one is hopping around on its own, something it's been doing quite often. But without knowing its exact location, they run the risk of accidentally crushing it.
They don't know what their offspring will look like or whose species it will take after, so they can't risk assuming they have a slime baby that'll be dandy if they happen to step on it.
Between calming down his increasingly anxious lover and hunting down their hyperactive troublemaker (definitely Chuuya's genes), Dazai manages to find out where he can sense the child the strongest: their bedroom.
"Eggy!" the brunet calls out when they enter the room, signalling Chuuya to shut the door, lest it sneaks past them. "Where are you? Papa is gonna kill daddy if we don't find you soon."
"Damn right I will," Chuuya mutters, brushing past Dazai to check the connecting bathroom.
Meanwhile, Dazai meticulously checks the bed sheets, being cautious not to tousle them too much, in case there's an alien egg hiding within them.
"Egg-mmphh!"
The noise causes Chuuya to rush back, startled by the way the other's voice had cut off like that.
"Dazai?!"
The first time Chuuya saw Dazai in his natural form, he stabbed him with a fork. It's what anyone would've done, if they found a slime monster-looking thing in their kitchen.
Over time, Chuuya has learned to love the alien no matter what form he prefers to use. Despite telling him this, Dazai rarely ever reverted back to his alien appearance, always telling him how he felt closer to him if he looked the same. Because of that, it's been a while since Chuuya's seen that strangely lovable blob of blue slime.
So seeing him now, with an added purple blob that's much smaller than him attached to the side of his head, has him feeling all kinds of feelings.
Nostalgic.
Fond.
Happy .
Especially because he knows that, that purple blob is what must've hatched from the egg they've attentively cared for these past few months.
"Chuuya, look!"
He's startled out of his thoughts, and he watches Dazai hop his way to him, the purple slime bouncing along with his movements. He automatically picks him up as soon as he reaches his feet, gathering his squishy form into his arms.
"Our baby hatched!"
Chuuya’s eyes turn incredibly soft when he gets a closer look at their slime baby.
"Yeah, it did, didn't it?"
Unlike the first time, he reaches out his palm with confidence, knowing that the little blob on Dazai's head is a piece of both of them, molded into its own sentient being--a love child, if you will.
With no hesitation whatsoever, the purple slime hops onto its papa's hand, nuzzling into his palm like it's done countless times before.
"Hey there, Eggy."
He rubs the top of its head with his index finger.
"Ah."
Chuuya shifts his gaze to Dazai, who's looking up at him with those translucent eyes of his.
"Are we sticking with ‘Eggy'?"
Dazai knows the answer from the scandalized look Chuuya's wearing.
"If it's for our child..."
Chuuya nods.
"It can only be that one."
Both parents keep the newborn in their loving embrace, cradling it oh so softly.
"Welcome to the family,―”