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Wake up. Get dressed. Help Princess Himiko get dressed. Allow Kaito to do a tarot reading. Attend morning classes. Make and serve lunch for Princess Himiko. Attend afternoon classes. Assist Miu in setting up her concert. Show Keebo how to clean up broken glass. Attend Miu’s concert. Speak with Ryoma regarding his offer. Go to sleep.
That was what was written on the piece of paper Shuichi dropped, which Kokichi picked up and began reading with far too much interest. His face curled into a frown upon reaching the end of it.
“What the hell is this?” He almost demanded, dangling the piece of paper in front of him. “Is this some sick joke?”
“I- I don’t understand what you mean, it’s just my to-do list for tomorrow,” Shuichi explained, snatching it back, reading over it once more to try and find the cause of Kokichi’s sour expression. “Oh- I forgot to put doing my homework on there, didn’t I? My apologies, I won’t be so sloppy in the futu-”
Kokichi huffed, arms crossed and glare fixed on the piece of paper. “You forgot to put a lot of shit on there. Like, you know, eating? Taking breaks?”
“Oh, I won’t have time for that tomorrow, I’m pretty much fully booked,” Shuichi said. “Plus, I have to do my butler services at the Asahina Gala tomorrow, and I need to wake up early to help prepare for that. If you’re worried, I can assure you, I can bring a granola bar to quickly eat in the bathro-”
A sharp flick to his forehead interrupted him. “Come on, Shu, you promised me you’d stop putting so much work on yourself!” Kokichi chided.
Swallowing down the lump forming at the back of his throat, Shuichi nodded. “I- I know, I am sorry, but I was asked for help by Keebo after I helped him clean up that picture frame he knocked over in Nurse Nidai’s office, and I told him I’d show him how best to clean up broken glass so he could do it next time, and I…”
He trailed off, sensing he was going to be interrupted again, and Kokichi put his hand on his shoulder, sighing deeply. “Shuichi Saihara, for the billionth time, I am begging you, please stop making every single problem that crosses your path your own. Miu doesn’t need your help. Keebo doesn’t need your help. Kaito and Rantaro can wait-”
“It was Ryoma, actually,” Shuichi corrected, taking some satisfaction in being the one to interrupt for once.
“Fine, Ryoma can wait, whatever,” Kokichi said, putting his other hand on his shoulder. “And I know Princess Prissypants can be bitchy when told no, but just let her bitch, okay? Please, just… rest? Please? You’ve been running around all day today, you have a ton of shit to do at that Gala thing, right? So, can’t you just take tomorrow off?”
Shuichi heard his words, but could only process his tone and sharp frown. Guilt and shame writhed in his chest at that sharpness, and he bowed his head, not wanting to see the feverous glare in his eyes. “I’m so sorry,” he apologized. “Please forgive me. I didn’t mean to make you upset with me.”
The hands on his shoulders pulled him closer, into a gentle hug. “I’m not upset at you,” Kokichi assured him. “I’m upset for you. I just want you to be treated well, alright? By everyone. That includes by yourself.”
His hands froze as he went to return the hug. Treated well… by himself? He supposed that made some degree of sense. It wasn’t like he treated himself badly, was it? But, he certainly never went out of his way to get himself nice things. Is that what he meant?
Gently, Kokichi took his shaking hands into his own. “Shu, you’re always so busy taking care of everyone else. Can I please take care of you for once?” He asked- no, pleaded, eyes shining with tears. “Just… tell everyone you’re taking a self care day tomorrow so you won’t be available, alright? I promise they’ll understand.”
The idea of doing so selfish as cancelling plans last minute for his own benefit made him almost feel sick. “I- I can’t, they’ll all be so upset with me! I- I can maybe schedule one for… three weeks from now? I don’t have anything planned yet three Wednesdays from now.”
“Shuichi.” His hands were squeezed close to Kokichi’s chest. “You’re going to burn out, please, just take care of yourself. I can tell them you need tomorrow off, I can handle rescheduling. I’m just asking you to let me help. Can you do that for me?”
“I- I-” He wanted more than anything to say yes. The shining tears in Kokichi’s eyes were nearly as convincing as the alluring thought of getting a normal amount of sleep. “I can’t, I’m sorry, I want to, but-”
As soon as he said “I want to,” Kokichi pulled out his phone and started typing something furiously. Before he could even finish his sentence, Kokichi had hit send and turned his phone towards Shuichi to show what it read.
Hey guys, Shuichi’s being a dumb bitch and overworking himself! I’m forcing him to take tomorrow off as a self care day, so if any of you had plans with him tomorrow, no you don’t💜
He’d sent the message in the class group chat, where several people were now typing. Shuichi thought he might throw up with anticipation waiting for them all to berate him for this, but that never came.
Good for him, I’ve got the setup for the concert pretty much figured out so it’s chill
Alright, please tell him to feel better soon!
I can help Lady Himiko out in his stead tomorrow, please tell him not to worry!
k
All of those were from the people he thought would hate him for this- Miu, Keebo, Himiko (well, Tenko, but she usually spoke on her behalf anyhow), and Ryoma all seemed to not be upset.
He felt as if a great weight was removed from him as soon as it hit him that this wasn’t some unforgivable sin. No one hated him or thought he was being horrible by doing this. The crashing weight of his exhaustion felt like it was washing over him just with the mere permission to feel it. He felt as if he might fall asleep on the spot, just right there in front of Kokichi.
Speaking of which, Kokichi dragged him into his room. “Now, you rest up, alright? And sleep in if you can, you look like you haven’t properly slept in months.”
“I- I can’t sleep in, class still starts at the same time tomorrow,” Shuichi protested. He fully expected Kokichi’s next words, but he didn’t dare say them himself, out of fear his hope would be shot down.
“Ha, class tomorrow? No way, we’re playing hooky. Do you want me to get like, written permission from the headmaster? I will, and he’d say yes because he knows how much you overwork yourself. And if he says no, I’ll just make sure his husband says yes- Leon’s even more of a pushover than he is!”
A smile came over Shuichi’s face as Kokichi shoved him towards his bed. “Thank you- ah, you’re taking off too?”
Kokichi pouted. “If I’m not there to look after you, you’re not gonna have any fun at aaaaall!” He protested. “Besides, it’s hard work pretending you care about kids while trying to master forensic sciences! I deserve a break too, don’t you think?”
“Of course you do,” Shuichi said with a gentle nod. “So, please, rest well yourself.”
“If you insist!” Kokichi plopped down in his bed, without even bothering to change out of his school clothes. “I’ll cuddle you to sleep so good, it’ll be juuuust like old times!”
He presumed by “old times” he meant the many times Shuichi would stay the night at the Kirigiri-Ludenberg household after doing the pretty minimal work for them Doctor Kirigiri gave him to do and Kokichi would always, without fail, manage to end up curled up beside him, insisting that Shu Cuddles were the only way he could sleep. He found it a bit strange back then, but now, he looked back on his adorable antics with a great deal of joy. He never would have admitted it by himself, but he did miss Kokichi sleeping in the same bed as him sometimes.
But, he couldn’t just let him curl up without any fanfare! He threw a pair of his fancy and expensive pajamas at him. “At least put on the proper clothing, heathen. Want me to go get anything from your room?”
Kokichi threw his shirt off casually, and Shuichi forced himself to avert his eyes. Though admittedly, he was often impressed by his surprisingly toned body when they went swimming together, it was very rude to stare! Though, he could practically feel Kokichi’s smirk on his back as he covered the growing blush on his face. “Aww, Shu-Shu no likey the eye candy?”
“Considering your diet consists of little more than macaroni and chicken tenders, it baffles me how you have any degree of musculature at all,” Shuichi mumbled, hoping desperately to change the topic, if even slightly.
“Hehehe, you like my abs, don’t you?” Kokichi teased, coming a bit closer to him. “If your pjs didn’t smell so nice, I might just sleep like this. I bet you’d like that-”
“Sh-shut up!” Shuichi practically shrieked. “It-It’s not like that!”
A huff and the movement of fabric told him it was safe to turn around. Though, admittedly, the sight of Kokichi in pajamas a few sizes too big for him did little to ease his flustered mind, he was at least able to banish the idea of ogling him. “You’re too easy to tease,” Kokichi said with a dismissive pout. “Come on, if you want me to fall in love with you, can’t you at least pretend you’re playing hard to get?”
All Shuichi could do was cover his face. Fall in love-? That was just as forbidden a thought as rest. He was made to serve others, not to be adored or even thanked for that job. That was how it had always been, ever since he first put on that tiny fancy suit and finally felt the storm inside his mind quiet as he began working. He was just the type people said was pretty and would make a good husband, not the type any would genuinely fall in love with.
He wanted to say all that to Kokichi. But, instead, all he could do was step into the bathroom to change his own clothing and return to the bed to curl up beside Kokichi. His warmth was as comforting as ever, and he couldn’t help but wish he could always have it.
Gentle fingers traced through his hair as Kokichi wriggled himself into being Shuichi’s pillow- head on his chest and all. “You comfy?” He asked softly, in a gentle voice he’d never really heard from the bombastic detective.
Coherent thoughts were melting out of his head, from exhaustion and elation alike. Shuichi forced out a garbled “mmhm” and nuzzled into his chest, not even thinking about the implications of putting his head on someone who’d just been flirting with him’s chest. He just felt happy, just felt at ease, just felt like he was being taken care of, and he was certain that was Kokichi’s goal.
Kokichi’s finger twirled around that annoying piece of hair that always stuck up, letting out a gentle hum. “I’m gonna take care of you, alright, Shu? You’re always so busy taking care of everyone else that you don’t let people take care of you. So, I’m gonna make sure you get at least a bit caught up on that, okey dokey?”
“S-sounds like heaven,” Shuichi practically slurred. He felt drunk off the affection, off the feeling of genuine care. Maybe this was the “self care” he needed- letting himself feel these building feelings inside his chest.
“And then tomorrow we can eat sweets and play video games and read and whatever else you want,” Kokichi promised him. “We can even make a pillow fort like we used to when we were little if you want, does that sound fun?”
He gave some sort of incoherent mumbling sound of approval, barely awake anymore. He just was basking in the overwhelming feeling of joy, something all too foreign to him where he was in his life right now. If he could bring himself to say something, he might say “I love you” or perhaps “marry me” or even “don’t ever stop this”, but he was too lost in the bliss to say such coherent things.
As he was now, Shuichi desperately wished he had said that to his Kokichi before it was too late. He never could have known that just a few weeks later, he’d become a prisoner in his own mind, forced to watch as the man he’d let claim his heart showed the same love and warmth to the other Shuichi, the one in control of his body.
He couldn’t hate the other Shuichi for this- he had no control over the situation either. But, it hurt so much to see that warm smile glowing not for him, but for someone else. All he could do was hold onto a single thought in the hopes it would be heard in the cacophony of his mind, and repeated to its intended recipient.
“Please, just please tell my precious Kokichi Ludenberg he’s the love of my life and always will be.”