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Izuku’s always had a complicated relationship with touch. His mother first noticed this when he was ten, after coming back from the park with a bloody lip, and torn school uniform. She asked him what happened, and reached down to caress his face, before Izuku slapped her hand away with a terrified look in his eyes.
It was then that they both realized Izuku was sensitive to touch. Any kind of skinship made his skin crawl. The only time he’d allow someone to touch him so casually was when he was at home with his mother. Because home was where nobody would hurt him. Because his mother would never hurt him.
He wasn’t always like this. It only started happening after Izuku’s best friend turned bully, Kacchan, decided to start physically and mentally tormenting him. Their relationship has gotten better over the years, Izuku would even consider him a friendly rival. But an apology couldn’t erase the years of trauma he experienced, no matter how badly he wished it could.
When Izuku makes it into the hero course, by some miracle he believes, he didn’t think he would make any friends. Especially if Kacchan was in the same class as he was. High school is a lot different from middle school, he soon finds out.
His classmates are kind, and they don’t threaten to beat him up every time he so much as opens his mouth. Sometimes he wonders if they would still like him if they knew him when he was Quirkless before. That inkling of doubt is always swept away when he remembers how amazing his friends are. They’re good people. They would never hurt him on purpose.
Getting rid of his reflex to duck away whenever someone tries to swing an arm around his shoulder, or whenever Uraraka reaches for his face to pinch his cheeks, is admittedly very hard to do. He can’t help the twinge of fear he feels in his chest whenever he sees a hand anywhere in his line of sight.
He’s gotten better over the months though. His classmates know about his problem, and they even try to help him adjust to their way of showing affection. Because Class 1-A was very affectionate with each other.
The girls would give each other kisses on the cheeks all the time. Izuku watched in awe when none of them bothered to flinch away. The boys show their affection in a much more different way. Roughhousing, and playfully smacking each other’s butts were always a thing for the changing room. Izuku noticed they never did it to him… which made him feel nice. But also, left out.
He knows it’s him. He’s the problem. When he gets overwhelmed, he snaps. He doesn’t mean to, but it’s his way of coping. His way of feeling safe. To ward everyone off until he could breath normally again.
Izuku wants to be able to receive hugs without tensing up first. He would love to playfully smack around his friends without feeling the need to cry or yell out in fear. He just wants to be normal.
He has gotten better though. Moving into the dorms sort of felt like being forced out of his safe place, even though he consented to it. Leaving his mother, his safety, took a toll on him the first few nights. He had a hard time sleeping, and barely ate anything at breakfast or lunch.
His friends noticed of course. Izuku has a suspicion it was Todoroki who noticed it first. He always had an eye for things like that. He was good at taking care of Izuku, even if he did it subtly.
After weeks of learning to adjust to how loud, and boisterous his classmates were at home, Izuku thinks he’s finally found a middle ground with them. Nobody pushes his limits, and he’s eternally grateful for that.
Though sometimes, his progress would come undone in the most unconventional ways.
When Izuku was in middle school, he always kept a journal in his arms. He loved writing about Quirks— he still does, though he rarely has any time for that now. The journal was constantly being ripped away from his hands, thrown around from person to person, so that he couldn’t get it back.
The journal was precious to him. So whenever his classmates would damage it, or snatch it out of his hands, he would always get so angry . Izuku never got angry at his bullies. But… his journal was important to him, and they knew that. But they didn’t care. They never cared about what he felt in the times they would purposely make him upset.
One afternoon in the commons room, he’s dutifully writing in one of his newer journals about a Quirk one of the upperclassmen have. He’s blissfully distracted by his own racing thoughts, that he doesn’t notice someone sit beside him. He’s stuck in his head.
His concentration immediately breaks in half when a hand comes into his line of vision, pointing at something on the page he was writing on.
Suddenly, Izuku is sent back to middle school. Back to the classroom. Back to the window Kacchan had thrown his journal out of, into the koi pond.
He gets angry without meaning to.
“Don’t touch my journal!” He snaps, holding the thing close to his chest as he sends the owner of the hand a withering glare. A glare that melts away when he comes to realize who it actually was, and where he actually was.
He’s not in middle school anymore. He’s in high school, and he’s in the common room of his dorm building. There are no bullies here. Just friends.
And he just snapped at one of them.
Izuku’s eyes bulge out of his head, as he hovers a hand over his mouth, completely in shock with himself. Todoroki stares back at him, his face the most expressive he’s ever seen it. He looks… hurt.
“T-Todoroki-kun… I’m…” Izuku trails off. He feels tears well up in his eyes, too quickly for him to blink away. He’s a horrible person. After everything his friend has done for him, how does he repay him? By yelling at him, like a child. Snapping at him, as if he doesn’t deal with it enough when he goes home for the weekends.
Izuku begins to tremble softly, suddenly overwhelmed, too stimulated to process anything else other than he’s a horrible friend.
“Todoroki-k-kun...” Izuku weeps, crumbling into himself. “I’m sorry. I’m s-so sorry! ”
Izuku continues to cry into his arms when Todoroki doesn’t say anything to his apology. He figured he had just left, fed up with Izuku’s dramatics. He wouldn’t have blamed him if he did.
He’s wrong though. Of course he is. When will Izuku internalize that his friends are good people. He knows it, but his head can’t seem to accept it.
Something shifts beside him. “Midoriya… it’s okay.”
Todoroki’s calming voice, along with his equally validating words doesn’t do anything for Izuku’s tears to subside. “No, it’s not! I di-didn’t mean—“
“I know,” Todoroki interrupts gently, and then adds in quietly, almost hesitantly, “Can I hug you?”
Izuku sniffles loudly, and considers the chances of him feeling overwhelmed again. He doesn’t want to snap at his friend. He nods his head, yes. He thinks he’ll be okay.
No— he knows he’ll be okay. Todoroki would never hurt him. Todoroki is a good person.
Two arms snake around Izuku’s body, one going around his neck, and the other around his waist. The feeling is scary at first, being held so… gently . Like he was made of glass. Only his mother knew how to hold him without making him feel overwhelmed.
Todoroki knew exactly how to hold him.
It makes Izuku sag into his arms, letting himself be held closely to Todoroki’s chest. He could feel his heartbeat, hear it , even. It was beating so fast.
“I’m sorry for sneaking up on you. I should’ve known better.” Todoroki mumbles close to his ear. The action makes Izuku tense… for reasons he doesn’t know. He feels safe. He feels good.
“It’s okay. I’m sorry for yelling at y-you.” He warbles, subtly pushing himself further into Todoroki’s chest. His arms tighten around Izuku’s waist.
“It’s alright. I know you didn’t mean to.” Todoroki says.
Izuku finds himself smiling softly, despite himself. Todoroki’s words are nice to hear. Snapping at people never feels good, especially when they take serious offense to it. Izuku can’t explain his trauma without sounding whiny in his own ears.
Hearing Todoroki validate his feelings, makes him feel so good. It makes him feel normal. And he’s so grateful for that.
He snuggles his face deeper into the crook of his friend's neck.
He’s so grateful for Todoroki.