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It's been three months and Reggie is in hell. His own personal, emotional hell.
Luke has a serious girlfriend.
Whats even worse though is that they’re adorable together. It's so painful to watch. Luke’s all defined muscles and floppy brown hair and she’s all floaty floral dresses with big combat boots and they get lost in each others eyes all the time and Luke starts writing these soppy love songs about sparkly blue eyes and daisies because that’s her actual real name.
It’s torture and Reggie wants to cry like 90% of the time. Rehearsals are the worst because she’s always there now playing with her perfect blonde hair and popping her gum.
He fumbles with his bass more and more, messing up lyrics he helped write all because he wants Luke to sing at him like he’s the only person in the room, wants Luke to wander over to him after a song a press a kiss to his lips.
He knows Alex is getting suspicious. The sad face he pulls every time Reggie meets his gaze makes his stomach roll.
It's okay though, Reggie has a hold on this, he's been hiding his crush on Luke for years, he can keep it going.
Today in particular, band practice had been a mess. Luke and Daisy were having a bit of a lovers tiff (something that had been happening more and more lately and made Reggie feel like shit when he hoped they’d just call it quits).
Alex was getting pissed off with all the stopping and starting and Reggie couldn’t tear his eyes away from Luke as he angrily played his guitar, biceps bulging as Daisy sat across the studio in a bean bag angrily reading a book. They were about 20 minutes in and things were starting to pick up, their new song was finally getting better and better, Alex was on fire and Luke and Reggie were in the zone sharing a microphone and singing their hearts out when everything went to shit.
Daisy suddenly sprung to her feet with a face like thunder, throwing her book on the ground near Luke's feet and storming out the studio looking furious.
The three boys stand in shock, Alex and Reggie looking at each other in confusion. It takes almost a full minute for Luke to react, mumbling out a quiet 'sorry' before sprinting out after his girlfriend.
Reggie and Alex stand in silence watching as the studio door swings shut after him.
"Well that was fucking dramatic." Alex almost laughs breaking the silence. Reggie just nods still a bit gobsmacked.
“Soooo, how long have you been in love with Luke?”
Reggie spins to face Alex his mouth dropping open in shock.
“What?!” He squeaks, feeling heat creep into his cheeks. Alex’s face splits into a cheeky grin.
“I knew it!!" His grin grows impossibly bigger as he starts to bounce on his toes. "Holy shit dude!”
“Please don’t say anything.” Reggie manages to mumble whilst wishing for the ground to swallow him up.
He feels a gentle hand on his shoulder and looks up to meet Alex’s kind blue eyes. “Hey, don’t worry I wont say anything, I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad! I know how you feel… obviously not about Luke.” He pulls a face, sticking his tongue out like he’s eaten something bad. “But honestly Reg, its all good there’s nothing wrong with being gay or bi or pan or whatever you are and I’m here for you. I promise.”
Reggie tries and fails to hold in his sob, burying himself in Alex’s chest instantly feeling the drummer wrapping his arms round him. It’s been too much hiding his feelings from his best friends it was like a weight had been lifted off his heart.
“Thanks dude.” Reggie’s words are quiet and muffled by Alex’s hoodie but he hears him none the less. “I don’t know what to do about it, he loves her man and every time I see them together its like swallowing glass.”
Alex hugs him even tighter.
“Whatever happens you’ve got me.”
Reggie squeezes his eyes closed and hugs Alex even tighter. He would be okay.
…
Reggie decides not to go to Alex's that night like he normally does on Fridays, (and he hates spending any time at his own house) so he stays at the studio on his own. He flops on the couch eating the left over pizza from the day before and turns on the TV. There’s nothing much on the but at least it fills the silence as he sits and scribbles random lyrics in his beat up journal.
He’s been writing songs a lot recently.They’re all about Luke nowadays, romantic and soppy, all of them somehow morphing into sad country songs.
Guitar has never been his thing but he learnt to play along side bass when he was younger and he’s pretty good at it so he decides to mess around with some chords to one song in particular. His voice is raspier than Luke’s when he sings and slightly higher as well but there’s no one else around so Reggie lets himself go, singing as loud as he wants. Pouring his heartbreak into maybe his saddest song.
“I got a girl crush
Hate to admit it but
I got a heart rush
Ain't slowing down
I got it real bad
Want everything she has
That smile and that midnight laugh
She's giving you now”
“Thats awesome Reg did you write that?”
Luke’s voice scares the actual shit out of Reggie making him squeak and almost throw Luke’s acoustic in shock.
“Woah, sorry dude didn’t mean scare you!” He’s quick to reach Reggie’s side clasping a warm hand on his shoulder, smiling softly.
Reggie’s heart pounds against his rib cage, panic flooding through his whole body. How much did Luke hear? It’s obvious the songs about a boy. Luke wouldn’t be weird about that though he loves Alex. Oh God what if he puts 2 and 2 together? How obvious was Reggie with his feelings if Alex realized?
He must’ve been silent for too long as he feels Luke tighten his grip on Reggie’s shoulder.
“Hey, you okay?”
Reggie manages to smile in response still shaken but starting to relax as Luke gives him his megawatt smile.
“Hey, sorry I was in my own little world there.” Reggie jokes, pushing his fist into Luke’s shoulder good naturedly . Luke pushes him back with a laugh.
“Nah, but seriously Reg that sounded awesome, have you got the lyrics written down we can go through it together? We could do some sick harmonies!” There’s that blinding smile again turning Reggie’s brain to fluff, he has to advert his eyes before he blurts out something stupid and unfortunately he glances straight at his journal on the floor in front of him. Rookie mistake. Luke follows his gaze and reaches for the book quicker than Reggie can react.
“Dude I can’t believe you wrote a whole ass song with out me!” He chides with a grin as Reggie lunges for the book before Luke reads any more of his lyrics.
“It’s all bad honestly, you don’t wanna see it, its all just scribbles really.” Reggie tries and fails to get the book from Luke who’s darting away from him and reading at the same time.
Reggie pushes down the panic as Luke reads, thankfully distracted enough for him to grab his book back.
Playful hazel eyes meet his own. “Come on dude let me read the rest! The beginning is so good!”
“Nah its, it’s just something I’ve been messing around with, you know….” He tries to brush it off Luke can’t read the rest, Reggie knows what he’s written, knows how obvious it is, his unrequited crush laid out in black and white.
Luke’s face is impossible to read and Reggie feels lost for the first time, no idea what his best friend is thinking.
“Reggie, this song is beautiful I mean, its like poetry man.” There’s fire and passion in Luke’s eyes that catches Reggie’s breath in his throat. “How does the next bit go? Will you play it for me? The whole song? Pleassssssse” Wide puppy dog eyes and that lopsided smile, goddamn how could Reggie ever say no.
He huffs out a huge breath and walks back over to pick back up Luke’s guitar. Worse things worse Luke turns him down and they never speak of this again, hell he might not even put two and two together, his best friend has been known to be pretty oblivious in the past. He glances up once he’s settled and Luke gives him a gentle ‘go on’ motion still grinning.
Reggie swallows his pride and puts everything he’s been feeling into playing and singing.
I got a girl crush
Hate to admit it but
I got a heart rush
Ain't slowing down
I got it real bad
Want everything she has
That smile and that midnight laugh
She's giving you now
Reggie takes the break in the song to check on Luke’s reaction, the younger boy smiles wide and Reggie plays on.
I want to taste her lips
Yeah, 'cause they taste like you
I want to drown myself
In a bottle of her perfume
I want her long blonde hair
I want her magic touch
Yeah, 'cause maybe then
You'd want me just as much
I got a girl crush
I got a girl crush
The quick catch of Luke’s breath doesn’t go unnoticed but Reggie cant stop now, he has to finish the song. He’s been hiding this too long and now it needs to be out.
I don't get no sleep
I don't get no peace
Thinking about her
Under your bed sheets
The way that she's whispering
The way that she's pulling you in
Lord knows I've tried
I can't get her off my mind
One more chorus and he’ll have to look up and face Luke, Reggie keeps his eyes closed tight can feel the warmth of tears coming. Fuck why did he think this was a good idea.
I want to taste her lips
Yeah, 'cause they taste like you
I want to drown myself
In a bottle of her perfume
I want her long blonde hair
I want her magic touch
Yeah, 'cause maybe then
You'd want me just as much
I got a girl crush
I got a girl crush
He lets the last note ring out in the deafening silence of the studio, keeping his eyes on the toes of his busted up boots.
Shit shit shit shit shit. Now what?
He can’t look at Luke he can’t face what he’ll see in those beautiful eyes.
“You wrote that?” Luke’s voice is so quiet Reggie almost misses it. He nods his head jerkily yes his knuckles turning white as he clutches the guitar as tight as he can, keeping his gaze down.
Fuck, why did the universe hate him.
Maybe he can run out before Luke says anything else. He can just pretend nothing happened. Yeah perfect, he just needs to remember how to move his legs.
The softest touch of fingers lifting up his chin startles him.
“Reggie…”
Luke’s face is heartbreaking, eyes wet, forehead creased. Reggie can’t get over his best friend gently caressing his cheek so careful like Reggie might break.
“I didn’t know you felt like that, you do feel like that right?” The question hangs in the air and Reggie’s too scared to respond. Knows he must look like a deer caught in the headlights.
Luke drops his hand from Reggie’s cheek and steps back to run shaking fingers through his already dishevelled hair making it worse. He starts pacing almost manically.
“I mean, that songs about Daisy right? About me about… Us?” He stops dead, eye boring into Reggie’s soul.
Reggie gulps. How did he do that?
Okay Reginald it’s now or never. He finally gets up and places the guitar back on its stand, smooths down his too tight jeans with sweaty palms. He takes a deep breath and meets Luke face on.
“Yeah. Yeah I did. I do, feel that way. About you I mean. I’ve kind of felt this way for ages.”
Something seems to snap in Luke at his confession. He straightens up, nods his head. Hazel eyes on fire.
“In that case I need to do something, but I’ll be back ok?”
Reggie’s face twists in confusion. “What?” He goes to continue but Luke cuts him off.
“Don’t go anywhere! Ill be 30 minutes, an hour tops!”
“Wait where are you going?”
Luke turns one more time as he gets to the door. “Please Reg.” And then he leaves in a whirlwind of sleeveless hoodie, Reggie standing stunned and fucking baffled.
“What the fuck just happened?”
…
Reggie spends almost 40 minutes pacing back and forth, wringing the sleeves of his flannel shirt in his hands, muttering under his breath about how stupid he’d been. Oh god where the hell was Luke going? What did he have to do right then that couldn’t wait until after he’d told Reggie he hated him or that he still loved him but not in that way?
Jesus this was torture.
He jumps as the door opens and Luke almost falls into the studio, one side of his face bright red, his hair an absolute birds nest.
“I broke up with Daisy.”
His face splits into a grin and then almost instantly he winces bringing his hand to the red side of his face.
“She wasn’t very happy about that.” He plays it off with a small laugh and Reggie hurtles himself across the room to inspect the damage, peeling Luke’s hand away and gently ghosting his fingers over the hot skin there. How dare she touch Luke like that.
“Holy shit what a bitch! Let me see, we need to put something cold on that so it doesn’t bruise, I’m pretty sure there’s an ice pack in the freezer I’ll go grab…”
Luke grabs Reggie’s hands in his and brings their foreheads together for a moment before gently pushing back so he can look the older boy straight in the face.
“To be honest Reg I kind of deserved it,” he adverts his eyes for a second with an embarrassed chuckle before he gets suddenly serious.
“I’ve literally spent the last three months telling her she was crazy for thinking I was into you and that she had nothing to worry about and then I turn up at her house an hour after I’ve told her that exact same lie for the 1,000 time and tell her we have to break up because she was right and I’m in love with my best friend. Have been in love with him for, well, maybe forever.”
Reggie’s brain short circuits. That sounded a lot like Luke saying he was in love with him. But. No. No way he must’ve heard that wrong. Luke was straight and happy with his beautiful girlfriend and sure they fought a bit but it was only ever when Reggie was around, mainly during rehearsals and she totally had stormed out a few times when they’ve shared mics and HOLYSHIT LUKE WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM?!
He could feel the heat creeping into his cheeks as he clicks and Luke’s smile is the most blinding thing in the world.
“Wait, wha-”
Reggie never gets to finish that thought because Luke can’t wait a second longer, sliding his hand to cup Reggie’s flushed cheek and crushing their lips together in a kiss that is so fucking over due in his opinion.
Every single thought leaves Reggie’s head the moment their lips touch, the world narrows down to nothing but all the points where their bodies are touching. He clutches at Luke’s arms, his heart almost exploding as he finally gets to touch him more than just casually. Running his hands up to his shoulders, tangling his fingers into the almost curls at the back of Luke’s head.
He can feel Luke smiling against his lips and they break apart to giggle, the most blissful moment either have ever experienced. But Reggie’s not done kissing yet not when he’s waited so long so he surges back in taking Luke slightly by surprise.
Luke, never one to be out done deepens the kiss even more and the tiny gasp Reggie lets out as he’s backed up against the wall of the studio sends shivers down Luke’s spine. He feels like his whole body’s on fire, he’s made out with people before, girls and boys but it’s never felt like this.
The boys part for a second trying to catch their breath, grinning so wide their faces hurt. Reggie closes the distance between them pressing their foreheads together.
“I love you too by the way.”
The laugh that bubbles out of Luke shakes Reggie’s chest as he shoves at Reggie’s shoulder playfully.
“Actually, I take it back, you suck-”
He doesn’t get to finish, Reggie’s already pushing forward again and its more smushing smiles together then kissing but God, does Luke have the softest lips ever, and Reggie’s never going to get fed up of this.