Chapter Text
It was the Summer of 1988 and (Y/N) Kaspbrak was under lock key after the disappearance of Georgie Denbrough. Her mother had always been overprotective, something that always got in the way of her having any friends her own age, leaving her stuck hanging out with her younger brother’s friends. She loved Eddie and enjoyed hanging out with his friends fine enough, but she could only be hit on by Richie so many times before it got old. She had spent the majority of the summer just moping around rather than traversing through the sewers and getting in rock fights like her brother, but something big was happening according to Eddie and he was forcing her to come to meet up with all of his friends.
They sat in the town center and (Y/N) felt out of place. While she was close with Richie, Bill, and Stan, she had never met some of these kids. She didn’t understand why she needed to be there, but was glad to be out of the house on the fourth of July.
“It seems like this bad stuff happens nearly every thirty years,” the boy who she had just been told was Ben said.
“So what the town’s cursed?” Stan said.
“That’s what my grandfather thinks… You know what a haunt is?” Mike started.
(Y/N) was already confused, but before she could ask any questions Richie was already jumping in with a comment.
“You mean like in a ‘who-ya-gonnacall’ sense?” Richie asked.
“No, not like that... A haunt can also mean like a feeding ground for animals... Or for something else... My grandfather told me he thinks all the bad things that happen in this town are caused by one thing... An evil thing... that feeds off the people of Derry,” Mike continued.
“But It can’t be one thing. We’re all seeing something different,” Stan said.
“I’m sorry, what? What are you guys talking about? Why was it so important that I’m here?” (Y/N) finally spoke up sick of feeling so confused.
“We’ve all been seeing this thing, but like I said we’ve all been seeing something different,” Stan said.
“I think it’s because It uses our worst fears to scare us,” Mike said.
“I guess that’s why I’m seeing Georgie,” Bill said.
“You’ve been seeing Georgie, Bill?” (Y/N) asked, worried.
Bill nodded at her.
“I saw a walking infection,” Eddie added before asking, “What’d you see, Mike? Anything?”
“Hands. Lots of hands, melted together by fire,” Mike said.
(Y/N)’s face twisted in disgust. While (Y/N) was not scared of much, none of the things these people were seeing seemed fun.
“Oh my God. That. Sounds. Awesome,” Richie said excitedly.
“Well, what are you afraid of?” Mike asked.
“Clowns,” Richie said.
“Clowns? Really?” (Y/N) asked.
“Just because you have a strange fascination with clowns does not mean that the rest of us like those freaks,” Richie quipped.
“He’s got a point (Y/N). You’ve always loved clowns,” Eddie added.
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry,” (Y/N) said shifting in her seat.
“What are you scared of (Y/N)?” Mike asked.
“I don’t know. My mom’s crazy germ thing has never gotten to me. I’ve spent so much time stuck at home that I haven't found anything to be scared of,” (Y/N) said.
“That’s not true. You’ve been scared before. What about those guys who tried to jump you in that-” Eddie started before being cut off.
“Stop Eds,” (Y/N) said.
“I’m sorry (Y/N). I shouldn’t-” Eddie started to apologize before again being cut off.
“I’m just going to go. Good luck with your evil whatever kids.” (Y/N) said before getting up and walking away.
(Y/N) hadn’t gotten out of the house in so long and was not going to let this opportunity go to waste, even if her mood had been ruined by Eddie’s comments. She didn’t have money on her or any friends to hang out with, so she decided a walk would suffice. She walked up and down the streets of Derry humming to herself and she thought about what Eddie and his friends had said. What if there really was some monster in Derry? Was she safe out here by herself? She decided she didn’t care too much, but would stay cautious.
She decided to take a cut through an alleyway that she knew well. After hearing about this possible monster that got off on fear, she decided to face her own fears. It had already gotten darker as she started to walk down the alley. She made it halfway through and stood there thinking of the last time she had been there. She had cut through it as she had done many times before, but this time she was stopped by Henry Bowers and his gang. She had tried to get past them, but that wasn’t what they intended. They got in her way and tried to grab at her. She fought back well at first, but there was soon a shift in power and all (Y/N) could do to save herself was to retreat into her head to avoid thinking about her helplessness. The boys took their turns taking advantage of how weak she was as she just laid there, tears streaming down their cheeks as she thought about worried her mother would be. The boys left after some time and she just stayed there staring at the dark sky, before she pulled herself together and walked the rest of the way home.
She never felt like she could tell her mother what happened. She knew that she would react the way a mother should, but she didn’t want her mother to treat her like she was even more fragile than her mother already viewed her. After a few days of her refusing to speak, Eddie finally got it out of her and even though he tried to get her to tell their mother she kept him quiet. Everyone could tell something had happened to (Y/N), though, as hard as she tried to hide it. She was considerably quieter and it became perfectly clear that she wasn’t the same when she refused to go out with Eddie’s friends. She had always loved to be with those boys and it was obvious to them they had lost their (Y/N).
Standing in that alleyway again scared her, just like Eddie said. She decided that she was done standing there as she found herself retreating back into her memories. As she started to walk out of the alley, she saw someone walking towards her. Deciding that she did not want to find out who was walking to her, she started to turn around but was met by the sight of someone else walking towards her.
“Funny seeing you here again,” (Y/N) heard Henry Bowers say from behind her. (Y/N)’s blood went cold at that voice and at the sight of Belch in front of her.
“H-h-henry,” (Y/N) stuttered out as she felt Henry’s hands on her waist. “P-p-please let me g-g-go.”
“Now why would I do that when you and I could relive the good old days here together,” Henry said. He forcefully turned her body to face him. The look in his eyes was sickening. It was evil and full of lust. He started to get closer to her, ready to begin feasting on what was left of her from their last meeting in this alley before he was started by the voice of a man.
“What’s going on here?” The man said.
Henry jumped away from (Y/N) and ran out of the alley with Belch.
(Y/N)’s legs gave out from under her and she collapsed against the wall of the building behind her. Her senses were hazy, but she could make out the man running up to her and crouching down into her sight.
“Just breathe,” he said, “You’re going to be okay.”
Her eyesight started to clear and she began to make out the man in front of her. His features were striking to say the least. His grey eyes were filled with concern for the girl. His cheekbones stood out and caught her eye the second she saw him. He was the most beautiful man she had ever seen and she felt giddy inside looking at him. He smiled at her as she reached out and ran her fingers through his coffee-brown locks. She immediately jumped back realizing what she had done.
“I’m s-s-sorry. I shouldn’t have-” She started before he grabbed her hands and cut her off.
“It’s okay. Are you okay? What were those boys doing to you?” He asked.
She stopped for a moment. She had lost herself in the man in front of her and had momentarily forgotten the attack that had just happened.
“He was… he was going to…” She tried to vocalize what had just happened to the kind man in front of her.
The man noticed her reservations and squeezed her hands.
“It’s okay. Whatever it was, you’re safe now. I’m Bill. You’re alright,” The man, Bill, said, trying to soothe her.
He stood up in front of her and helped her up.
“What’s your name sweetheart?” He asked.
“(Y/N),” She said.
“Okay then (Y/N), how about I walk you home?”
She trusted this man for some reason, but she didn’t know why. They started to walk together down the street towards her house. He began talking to her about his life trying to calm down her anxiety. By the time they made it to the Kaspbrak house, she was comfortable around this man. They walked up the steps together and stopped before she walked in.
“Thank you for walking me home Bill,” (Y/N) said, looking down at her feet.
Bill let out an odd sort of giggle that made her look up at his grinning face.
“Of course (Y/N),” He said, looking down before continuing. “Could I maybe take you out sometime?” He finished as he looked up at her.
(Y/N) felt twitterpated. No person had actually shown real genuine interest in her like this and she liked this guy a lot. She trusted him for some reason, so she did something she never saw herself doing and she looked him right in the eyes and smiled.
“I’d love to go out with you.”
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow afternoon?”
She smiled and said, “That sounds great.”
He smiled at her and grinned. He started to lean in closer to her and she was taken aback. Was this man going to kiss her? And why was she okay with this? She had just met this man, but no one had ever treated her as well as this one man was right now so she felt like she’d be okay. Her eyes softly shut as she felt his lips against hers. She’d been kissed before, but never like this and never by someone she wanted to kiss. The kiss began to deepen as he took her face in her hands. Something about it felt odd. His hands no longer felt bare like they had been before. It felt like cotton or some other fabric against her cheeks. She opened her eyes and saw not the beautiful man pulling away from her, but a clown. She fell back in shock, her back hitting the door.
The clown crouched down in front of her and let out that same giggle.
“What? I thought you’d like that (Y/N).”
“I… wh-wh-who are you?”
“Well, I’m Pennywise, the dancing clown!” He said.
(Y/N) sat there disgusted at the sight in front of her. She kissed this… thing. And she liked it. She realized that she was in a dangerous situation and started to open her mouth to scream for help before her mouth was promptly covered by Pennywise’s gloved hand.
“No, no, no, no, no, no,” He says.
Her scream stopped in her throat, prompting Pennywise to remove his hand. His hand was quickly replaced by his lips upon hers. She sat there unmoving for a moment, but she wanted to kiss him back. She knew it was wrong, she really did, but she wanted to kiss him back. And so she did just that. She kissed the clown in front of her. It felt so wrong, but it also felt so right. He pulled away from her giggling.
“I knew you liked it (Y/N),” He said.
He stood us and walked to the end of the sidewalk. He turned around and looked back at her, now looking like the man she met in the alley.
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow afternoon, (Y/N),” He said, smiling.
He turned and walked down the street, leaving her sitting alone on the porch. She stood up after a moment and opened the door to her house. She quickly walked up the stairs and entered her room. She sat on her bed and stared at the wall. She had just kissed a clown. Why had she done that? Why did she like doing that? She sat there as she spiraled and then she cried. She sobbed and fell asleep that way.