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“Yeah, so then it was fair!”
Min-seo had a triumphant look on her face as she finished telling Diya her glorified version of why she had thrown her twin’s GameBoy out of the car window. The other girl silently stared at her in awe for a few seconds before finally deciding to say something.
“So brave… Don’t know how you do things like that,” She said, almost too quiet for Min to hear over the chatter of the nearby playground. Min turned to look at it and watched as a few boys chased each other around. One tackled the other to the ground. She couldn’t hear from here, but from their expressions, she could tell they were laughing as they roughhoused on the wood chip flooring.
Her attention was drawn back to Diya, who was holding her own hand tightly. It looked uncomfortable.
“I don’t know how you don’t,” Min finally said, still looking at the girl’s hands. “Don’t those things make you angry?”
“Sort of,” Diya said, not elaborating any further. Min looked at the playground again. The boys were still pushing each other around, practically fighting at this point. They were being really rough, and Min wondered why they didn’t get in trouble. She poked her head out from the wall that her and Diya sat behind, and saw two teachers smiling and talking to themselves.
They could clearly see the boys, but they didn’t care. Yet every time Min dared to act up she was immediately in deep shit with some adult, whether it be teachers or her parents. Obviously, this only encouraged her to cause more trouble.
Did everyone really have that low of expectations for her? Even when she wasn’t trying, she found herself in trouble all the time now. How come these boys got to basically fight in front of two teachers, and she couldn’t ask for a pencil in class without being scolded at this point.
“Oh. Well, it makes me really angry.” Min said, furrowing her brows and shoving her hands into her hoodie pockets, angry out of seemingly nowhere. She finally sat back to the wall, next to Diya. The schoolyard fence separated them from the road, where they watched cars pass by in silence for a few moments.
Diya looked like she was waiting for something, her right hand resting on her chin. Min knew this look all too well, although it was uncommon for Diya to have it when it was just the two of them.
“Do you want to say something?” Min questioned. She got a nod in response, Diya avoiding looking at her for too long. “...Go ahead?”
“How come…” Diya paused for a moment, seemingly gathering her thoughts. “How come you like so many boy things?” Looking down, Min could see Diya’s grip on her own hands tightened.
“Huh? But you like baseball, you’re the same way,” Min-seo said, puzzled.
“Um- It’s different. I Still act and look like a girl.”
Min sat there, staring blankly at the girl that was avoiding eye contact. She knew Diya didn’t mean this in a rude way, but it still was slightly upsetting. She’d gotten this question many times before, except usually much more hostile. With her parents, it started out as this question only to evolve into “Stop liking boy things.”
Everyone was so curious. It wasn’t a big deal, and she wouldn’t care about it so much if everyone else didn’t. Every time someone questioned her she had no idea what to say. It was a fucking stupid question.
“I just do,” She answered. “If being like a girl is what people say it’s like, I don’t want to be like a girl.” She said that soon as the thought came to her head; only after had she realized this was the first time she put that into words.
“You really are brave,” Diya replied, a soft smile on her face. She was finally looking directly at Min. “I like that about you.” She closed her eyes as she smiled wider, her grip on her own hands loosening.
Min didn’t know if she had meant that she liked the way she acted like a boy or the fact she was brave, but she found herself unable to ask. Hearing Diya say that, seeing Diya smile like that had rendered her unable to do anything for that matter.
It wasn’t long before Diya returned to looking down nervously and Min realized she had been staring at the girl, taking in every detail of her face.
“When I cut my hair, my parents were pissed,” Min spoke, surprisingly quiet. “I’ve done stuff before that made them mad, but never like this. My dad was yelling a lot. Kept asking where his little girl went.” Min took one hand out of her pocket, placing it gently on Diya’s arm.
“I don’t have a choice,” She said, earning a look of confusion from Diya, who was glancing down at Min’s hand. “I’d rather deal with that than be unhappy. I don’t care how many times he or anyone else yells at me or hurts me, I’m not going to be someone else just for them. And every time someone gets pissed off by that, it only makes me want to piss them off more.”
Something about what she said, though Min was unsure of what, made Diya’s eyes widen. Min usually didn’t care about oversharing, most of the time she just said things without thought and wouldn’t bother to apologize afterward. However, seeing Diya with that amount of worry in her expression… It hurt, and she became painfully aware of how much oversharing she had done.
Before she was given the chance to apologize Diya stood up from the pavement, Min following her motions in confusion.
“You…” Diya looked like she was struggling with her words. Sometimes, when this happened, Diya would just throw words into the open. It was up to Min to figure out what they meant. But even this seemed too hard for her right now. The taller girl, giving up with words, reached her arms out in a shy attempt to hug Min.
Immediately diving her head into her friend’s shoulder, Min’s face grew extremely warm. She was so confused about what she had done to deserve this, but she didn’t question it. Instead, she thought about how grateful she was that her face was not visible to Diya right now. Though the sudden mood change had been disturbing, she didn’t attempt to resist it at all. She was smiling like a complete dumbass.
“...Bravest person I know…” The words were mumbled very quietly, just enough for Min to make out. Diya’s grip on Min’s sweater, which she had been unaware of until now, tightened.
“I’m kind of confused... but thank you!” Min exclaimed as the hug continued. Her smile somehow grew even bigger, and if anyone saw them right now, she wouldn’t be able to change it fast enough to avoid embarrassment.
“Doesn’t matter… You’re welcome.” Diya finally ended the hug by stepping back. Both of them, very clearly blushing, avoided eye contact with the other. “Really cool how much you like those things. You’re really cool,” Diya was eventually able to say. She still stumbled and tripped over her words a little.
“Yeah? I think it’s cooler that you think it’s cool!” Min declared, although she wasn’t too sure of what she meant by this. They both laughed and Diya seemed to be less worried.
Min wondered to herself what she did to deserve that hug... or a lot of other things. She was mean to people, primarily because they suck, but regardless, she was mean to people. Despite this, her favorite person, the NICEST person she had ever met, was her best friend. And she worried about her, and she gave her hugs, and she was so god damn beautiful…
Min’s mushy thoughts and feelings were interrupted by the bell, signifying the end of recess. Without thinking, she grabbed Diya’s hand and pulled her out from behind the wall, Lightly sprinting towards the line.
“I call line leader!” She shouted loudly, letting go of her friend’s hand and using her own to push the current line leader out of the way. She looked back to see Diya softly smiling, and once again she was unaware of the cause. Either way, she greatly appreciated the sight. The pair looked at each other for a moment, both filled with feelings of gratefulness for the other.
Whatever Min-seo had done to deserve this, she wished she could do it again. This was the best feeling in the world. She was extremely curious (though doubtful) as to if there was anything better.