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“Donna!” He bangs his fist on the door again. “Donnatella Moss! Come on, I know you’re home, just open the damn—“
“What?!” Donna asks, whipping her front door open and she doesn’t even get another word in before Josh sweeps into her apartment. He trips on a stray shoe and catches himself on the arm of her couch before flopping down on the cushions. “Are you drunk?”
She closes her door, shivering from the chill coming in from the poorly insulated hallway, and turns to face her, apparently drunk, boss.
“Josh,” she says when he’s oddly still.
He peers over at her. “Do you have any popcorn?”
“Josh, it’s 2 in the morning. What are you doing here? And how did you even get in the building?”
“Bar closed down,” he says simply, his voice slurred, and she bows her head before heading into her kitchen. “Toby’s got this thing all wrong. I’m right and he’s wrong.”
“This is about work?” she whines, coming back into her living room with a comically large glass of water.
He looks up at her, his eyes bleary and only a little afraid of her. “Are you planning on water-boarding me?”
She rolls her eyes. “Drink this. I’m going back to sleep.”
“Don’t you wanna hear the reasons why I’m right and Toby is wrong?”
“Bathroom’s on the left. I’ll see you in the morning, Josh.”
“But, Donna—“
She huffs and grabs one of her roommate’s cats, placing him on Josh’s chest. The cat twirls around before plopping down and Donna has to bite her lip to stop the laugh bubbling up at the look of pure confusion on Josh’s face.
“Tell it to Oliver. He’s a good listener. I’m going to bed.”
* * *
Josh rubs his eyes, shuffling to his front door, and preparing to tell off whoever decided to wake him up. The threat of dismemberment dies on his lips though when he sees Donna, her arms wrapped around her stomach and looking so small and sad that he forgets what time it is and pulls her into his apartment without a word. She’s shivering, only covered in that impractical jacket she insists on wearing even though it’s paper thin and about 20 degrees outside.
She doesn’t say anything as she sits on his couch, and he sparks the electric fireplace before grabbing an old afghan and throwing it around her shoulders. She hiccups a little and grabs the tattered edges of the blanket as she sways on his couch.
“Can I have some water?” she slurs and he grabs her a bottle from his fridge. He sits down next to her and opens it before putting it in her hands. “Thanks.”
His brow creases as he gets a good look at her. Her hair is wind blown and her cheeks are red and wet, but he can’t tell if it’s from the cold or if she’s been crying. She’s definitely been drinking if the booze scented scarf around her neck is any indication.
“What’s wrong?” he murmurs, rubbing her back to get the blood flowing in her body again.
“I had a date,” she mumbles and Josh’s free hand clenches on his thigh.
“With who?”
She chuckles. “Dr. Freeride.”
Josh’s hackles instantly raise. “Donna.”
“He was in town for some gala and he called me and asked if we could catch up. I didn’t have any plans, so I said sure.”
Josh keeps his thoughts to himself for now, just keeps rubbing her back and pulls the scarf from around her neck, throwing it toward the small desk by the door. Donna stares at the fire crackling beside her so Josh can’t see her face, sipping the water slowly.
“Long story short: he’s married. To some beautiful blonde woman who is bearing his child and has a Master’s degree from Wisconsin. Apparently he was very supportive in her pursuing higher education.”
She chuckles again in a completely unamused way and Josh moves to massage the back of her neck, silently trying to get her to look at him.
“He completely changed for her,” she whispers. “The way he never would for me and I’m just... alone.”
Her breath hitches and she slowly turns to look at him, her eyes are wide and bright with tears on the brink of falling, and Josh makes a silent vow to find this guy and kick his ass for making Donna cry. He pulls her to him and she falls onto his shoulder, her tears staining his t-shirt, but he doesn’t care.
“You’re not alone,” he murmurs and he hugs her tighter.
She sniffs pathetically and shakes her head. “Am I ugly? Is my personality just absolutely insufferable? What is it, Josh? Because it’s not just him. Clearly I–“ she hiccups again, “–have nothing to offer.”
“Donna,” he says and he nudges her back so he can look her in the eye. “There is nothing wrong with you.” She rolls her eyes, but he won’t let her interrupt him. “I’m serious! You are one of the smartest people I know and you’re so goddamn funny. Honestly, I hate how unknowingly funny you are.” She laughs through her tears and Josh smiles, helping her move her hair out of her face. “You’re so loyal and organized and you’re brave.”
She sniffs again. “I hid behind Sam when we watched Jaws. I’m not brave.”
He smiles and shakes his head. “Yes you are. You already left that loser once when you realized he couldn’t give you what you deserved. Don’t let him belittle all the work you’ve done since then. You’re the girl who drove cross country with nothing but your old beater car and a suitcase full of clothes and you helped make Jed Bartlet president. I could never be that brave.”
She sighs heavily, the tears hopefully run their course, but he pulls her back to his shoulder. “You’re beautiful,” he whispers. “And that guy is an idiot. He has no idea what he’s missing out on.”
She rubs her nose with his blanket and looks up at him with her pitiful, glazed over eyes. “Really?”
“Yes, really. You’re so sweet and kind and I’m so glad you left him because if you didn’t, I wouldn’t know you and I just... don’t ever wanna think about what my life would be like without you.”
Her lip quivers again and Josh sighs when another round of tears hits her. “Donna, don’t— come on. You know I’m no good with crying women.”
“You like having me in your life?” she asks and Josh’s heart breaks a little at the fact that she didn’t know before.
“I need you in my life, Donnatella. I’m– honest to God, I don’t think I could do any of it without you. Including, you know, the basic requirement of staying alive.”
“You got shot,” she slurs and her hand goes to cover the spot that houses his scar protectively.
“Yeah,” he whispers, still rubbing her back. “And you didn’t leave my side once.”
“I wish I would’ve been there.”
“I’m glad you weren’t. If you had been hit, it would’ve been my fault.”
She pats him softly. “Better me than you.”
“Don’t say that.” He leans back so he can look at her. “I’d go crazy without you.”
“I did go crazy,” she murmurs and her eyes blink slowly.
Josh doesn’t say anything more as her eyes stay closed longer each time she blinks. He leans forward and places a tentative kiss to her forehead. She closes her eyes completely and leans against him. He lays her back to rest on the the throw pillow at the end of the couch and he un-swaddles her from the afghan around her shoulders to place it over her.
“Josh,” she mumbles and reaches out blindly, landing her hand on his shoulder as he leans over her. “I have you?”
He smiles down at her. “‘Til the wheels fall off, Donna.”
* * *
“You’re druuuunk,” Donna teases, laughing as Josh’s face splits in two with a wide, uncontrollable grin.
“Shhhh,” he says unquietly and looks around to see if anyone heard her. “That Congresswoman from Arizona keeps eyeing me, I can’t have anyone know I’m weak right now.”
Donna smirks and looks behind Josh’s shoulder at said Congresswoman who is drilling a hole in his back with her eyes.
“Oh, yeah. She’s locked and loaded.”
He whines her name and sets his drink down. “You gotta save me. Come here, pretend to dance with me.”
She snorts. “Or we could just dance.”
Josh grabs her waist, his hands searing her through her dress, and he pulls her close before grabbing her hand and leading her in a slowed waltz. They dance for half a song until Donna tells him the Congresswoman is gone.
“You’re free,” she says, about to pull away, but Josh keeps her close.
“You’re not still goin’ on that date after this are you?”
“Why?” she asks, leaning back from him. “You’re not in any kind of state to take meetings tonight, Josh. I don’t need to be here.”
“No, I mean, come to the bar with us instead. Zoey’s home and Charlie needs back-up.”
She smirks and resumes their earlier position. “I like this guy, Josh. Do you know the last time I made it to a third date?”
“A naval officer comes to mind,” he grumbles and tightens his hold around her waist.
“Exactly and that was months ago. I’m not gonna blow it now.”
“Come on,” he scoffs in her ear. “It’s not like you’re gonna marry this guy or anything.”
“Are you implying I’m un-marriable?”
“That’s not a word, Donnatella,” he chuckles.
“Josh—“
“He’s not good enough for you.” Donna softens in his hold. “I wouldn’t let you marry him.”
She huffs and rolls her eyes. So much for a nice moment.
“You have no say over who I marry, Josh. That’s not how it works.”
“I would speak now. I wouldn’t forever hold my peace.”
His words are quiet, mumbled due to the way liquor makes your tongue feel too big for your mouth, and Donna goes stiff. He doesn’t seem to think he’s said anything worth of note, still swaying them in a small, slow circle, but Donna’s mind is racing.
“Just come to the bar,” he says again, pulling on her waist so she’ll look at him. “Please?”
He looks at her, his eyes slightly unfocused, and he’s got that stupid smile on his face. The one he knows she can’t resist. The one that always gets her to stay late on a Friday or dress as a German cocktail waitress. She loves that smile, but a movement catches her eye behind Josh’s shoulder; Amy with a couple aides from the First Lady’s office, and Donna sighs when she sees her start to walk over.
“I’ll see you on Monday, Josh,” she says and steps out of his hold. The pout that forms on his face might honestly kill her, but she keeps her distance.
He turns away from her when he hears a “hey, J” from behind him, but turns back and murmurs Donna’s name.
She smiles a little wryly. “Have a good night. No more sneaking shots with CJ, alright? You’ll regret it in the morning.”
He gives her a small, almost sad smile, and lets her walk away from him, a whispered “night” said to her retreating back as he watches her walk out of the ballroom.
* * *
Josh is in his kitchen, pushing around his takeout while he reads through more resumes. He’s gotta start filling the White House and the amount of people wanting a job is outrageous. He tosses the stack of papers down and rubs his eyes roughly. He buried the one man who could help him with this only hours ago and he has no idea what he’s doing.
He’s about to pour himself another drink when he hears a noise by his front door. He furrows his brow when he hears a set of keys, and he grabs a steak knife when he hears a muffled “son of a—”. He heaves a sigh of relief when Donna finally forces her way into the room, stumbling only a little against the door.
“I need to get you a damn bell,” he says and he goes back in the kitchen to put the knife back in its slot.
“Were you about to stab me?” she asks, a look of pure amusement on her face as she closes the front door and takes off her coat.
“What are you doing here? I thought CJ—“
“CJ is sleeping with Danny,” Donna says matter-of-factly and walks around to follow Josh back into the kitchen.
“It’s about time.”
“That’s exactly what she said when I told her where I was going.”
She walks up to him and throws her arms around his neck somewhat sloppily and a grin forms on Josh’s face.
“Are you drunk?” he asks, pulling away playfully when she tries to kiss him.
“We may have opened a bottle of rosé.”
He hums. “And shared all your secrets?”
“I didn’t want this to be a secret. At least not from CJ,” she says and she pulls back to run her hands down his chest. “And I wanted to see you.”
Josh pulls her in and kisses her. “I’m glad,” he murmurs and kisses her again. They stay that way for awhile, standing in his kitchen at midnight, and sharing soft kisses.
“How are you holding up?” she asks quietly, pulling back and grabbing herself an apple juice from his fridge.
He shrugs. “I’m okay.”
He sits down at the kitchen table and Donna sits on his lap without preamble.
“Is this okay?” she asks when she sees his amused expression.
He kisses her again. “Yeah, it’s okay.”
She wraps her arm around his neck and pulls a stack of resumes toward her.
“Ugh, don’t hire that guy,” she says and flips a piece of paper down. “Oooooh, this is the man I told you about. He ran down that purse thief a few months ago. He’s very handsome.”
“Okay,” he says and he pushes the stack of paper to the other side of the table. “Can we make a rule that you can’t call other men handsome while you’re sitting on my lap?”
She giggles softly and leans her head against his. “We both know your ego isn’t that fragile.” She kisses him and his grip on her thigh grows tighter. “Besides,” she murmurs, her hand moving to his hair to keep him close. “You’re still the only man I find handsome.” She kisses him again, slowly. “And powerful.”
A needy whimper escapes Josh when she slides off his lap and she smirks when he reaches for her, but she traipses away and down the hall.
“I’m gonna get in your bed. You can keep working if you want,” she calls over her shoulder and Josh sits still for a moment until her shirt flops down in the hallway and he springs into action.
He gets to his room as she steps out of her skirt and he turns her around, kissing her again, and he lifts his arms so she can get his shirt over his head.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he mumbles against her lips and she smiles. “And not just because of the sex factor.”
She pulls back from him and leans her forehead against his, both their breathing a little labored. He runs his hands over her skin and walks her backwards until she hits the bed.
“What are you thinking about?” she asks softly as she scoots onto the bed. He crawls after her and kisses down her collarbone as they both get comfortable.
“I’m thinkin’ about how happy I am that you were the one who told me we tied nationally that morning,” he says, his dimples peeking out at her. “And how I’m really glad you and CJ drank rosé tonight.”
“It makes me very friendly.”
“I know,” he says, still smiling as he kisses the side of her mouth. “You drank it one night during the first Bartlet term and kept asking me to dance.”
Donna wraps her arms around his shoulders and smiles softly at him. “And you said yes every time.”
Josh looks into her deep blue eyes, more focused now, and absolutely burning into his. They both know they don’t need to say anything more, their telepathy being back in full force the past couple months, but Josh has to make sure she knows as he leans down and kisses her softly.
“I always felt like the luckiest guy in the room when I was dancing with you.”
* * *
“Ouch. God dammit, why is this– oof.”
Donna’s eyes peel open from her slumber as Josh falls onto the bed ungracefully and she rolls over to face him as he sits back up and fumbles with his cufflinks.
“What time is it?” she asks, her eyes closing again and Josh looks at her with a sheepish grin.
“A little past two. I didn’t mean to wake you up, I’m sorry. I tripped over the…” he trails off and gestures vaguely toward the floor.
She hums and reaches blindly for him and tugs on his shirt. “It’s okay. Did you have fun?”
Josh throws his cufflinks onto the nightstand and puts his fingers in his breast pocket, pulling out a wad of cash.
“I was the rightful king of Texas Hold ‘Em,” he says, a smirk on his face as he fans himself. “Read ‘em and weep.”
Donna smirks and takes the money from him and counts it as Josh unbuttons his shirt, his fingers fumbling from the alcohol he’d been drinking all night, but he finally gets them all and tosses it to the floor along with his pants.
“Josh, this is only $50,” she says, putting it on her nightstand before turning back toward him.
“It was small pots only and I’m pretty sure they let me win, but I was still victorious. Keg of glory, baby.”
“Come here,” Donna murmurs and pulls him into the bed with her. “I’ll give you the finest muffins and bagels in all the land.”
He grins at her and pulls her in close, kissing her languidly, but she leans back from him after a moment with her nose turned up comically.
“You taste like cigars and an entire distillery.”
“Sorry,” he slurs and she watches amusedly as his eyes fail to stay open. “Sam went a little overboard with the Best Man duties. He bought some cubans and enough alcohol to serve our entire wedding let alone 6 people playing poker. I felt like Al Pacino.”
Donna grins. “Well, Sam’s always been an over-achiever.”
Josh mumbles his agreement and pulls her closer still until he’s snuggled under her chin, his arm wrapped around her stomach.
“I can’t wait to marry you,” he murmurs and he kisses her jaw. “Best thing I’ll ever do. Hands down.”
Donna’s smile grows as she gets more comfortable around him and she runs her fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp until he’s practically purring beneath her. She kisses his temple and closes her eyes again.
“I don’t know. You got a democratic Senate for the first time since I was in grade school. That’s a pretty big thing.”
She feels his face split into a smile and he pulls her into another kiss, deeper this time, before leaning back and looking at her through his drunken haze.
“I’d give it all up for you, Donnatella. Just say the word.”
She hums and wraps her arms tighter around him. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Josh snuggles back in and his breathing evens out after a minute. Donna’s on the cusp of sleep and awake, but she comes to when Josh mumbles her name.
“Hm?”
“Nothin’ just…,” he sighs and buries his nose in her neck. “I was thinking about that first time I showed up drunk on your doorstep.”
She snorts. “We were only a month into the administration and you already had zero boundaries.”
A laugh that can only be described as a giggle escapes him and he squeezes her middle. “You made the best waffles I’ve ever had in my life the next morning and then told me to get the hell out.”
“I had plans,” she shrugs and he smiles again.
“I tried not to think too hard about why I ended up there that night. The bar was nowhere near your apartment.” Donna doesn’t say anything, just brings her hand up to cup his face and turn him toward her. “Do you ever wish I would’ve thought harder about it?”
“Josh.”
“I mean, we could’ve been here years ago if I had—“
“You don’t know that,” Donna says and he looks up at her. “And it doesn’t matter anyway. We got here in the end and I love what we have. I learned so much from you, Josh. I wouldn’t be me without the past ten years of being in your life the way I was.”
She caresses his sleepy face, a dimple still peeking through.
“Yeah, but imagine all the sex we missed out on.”
She huffs a laugh. “You’re right about that.”
“That’s 7 years worth of sex, Donna.”
“You know, I considered it at one point. I thought it might calm you down and you’d stop yelling in the hallways.”
He grins and Donna shifts so she can hitch her leg over his hip. He grabs her knee and runs a warm palm up her thigh, stroking her skin rhythmically.
“You said I can’t know what would’ve happened,” he murmurs. “But I know I’d still love you today no matter what.”
Donna grins and kisses the corner of his mouth. “I’d still love you, too, pumpkin.”
He smiles sleepily, his eyes closed again, and Donna pulls him closer before closing her eyes herself and finally drifting off to sleep.