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“See you tomorrow everyone.” Rean waved goodbye as his comrades were teleported up to the Merkabah in the skies. All expect him and Crow. It was finally time for them to talk as the world tittered on the brink of destruction it was now or possibly never. The inn on Bryonia Island was completely empty, so was the island for that matter. No Ouroboros, no Giliath Osborne, for the night the world of war did not exist. Rean let out a deep sigh, before heading back inside. Crow was waiting right where he left him, for once, arms rest behind his head and that cocky grin on his face.
“You are going to buy me dinner first, right?” Crow sat up on the bed and watched Rean as he moved through the room. The air was awkward and filled with so many unsaid words. He wasn’t the best in situations like these, but for Rean he was going to damn well try. Rean was always doing that, making him try new things he never expected.
“Oh Crow.” Rean sat down on the bed across from him shaking his head. But it wouldn’t be a moment with Crow is something flirty or perverted wasn’t said. Honestly, it was a comfort. It was a sign Crow was alright and back to being himself. That predictable trait was how Rean had know Azure Siegfried was his Crow. The Gnomes might have wiped his mind, but his personality had always remained unchanged.
“Being mysterious doesn’t suit you Rean.” Crow said in a low tone, hands crossed over his chest. He would not admit that he was shaking, and every fiber in his body was screaming for him to run. This was truly the first time since Thors they’d been alone with a moment to breath.
“Crow.” Rean put on his serious face, as he looked directly at the man before him. “There is much I want to scold you for, but it is all in the past. I want to focus on right now, and what I can finally say.” Rean took a moment to pause and steel his resolve. There was no point in denying it anymore, he’d always know deep down how he felt about this man. The emotions that arose during their Rivalry, was only further proof that he---
“Crow I lov—"
“Let me stop you right there.” Crow held up a hand interrupting him. His eyes closed and a hardened expression on his face. “You really want to do this song and dance now?”
“Yes.” Rean said without hesitation. “I’ve waited long enough.”
“Sure.” Crow couldn’t deny Rean that. He had waited, from when they were classmates and Crow relentlessly teased him, through the pain of watching him die, and then seeing him manipulated by the Gnomes. Rean witnessed all that, and still felt this way. Crow couldn’t help but smile, he didn’t think he was a guy worth waiting around for. “You really are some kind of masochist, aren’t you.”
“Excuse me?” Rean raised an eyebrow.
“You know what my fate is, there is no changing it. I’m on borrowed time Rean.” Crow swallowed passed the lump in his throat. He was only alive right now because he was the Azure Awakener. Otherwise he should’ve died that day beneath Heimdallr Castle permanently.
“All the more reason to say what is on our minds.” Rean wasn’t letting Crow run away anymore. He was an expert at it. Every time they got close, Crow made up an excuse to leave, or deflected the rising emotions with jokes.
“It won’t change anything Rean.” He snapped, his frustration rising. “I’m still going to die, again, acknowledging what you want to say, only makes that fact harder to accept.” Crow had accepted his fate, why was Rean trying to struggle against it so damn much.
“I reject your statement.” Rean nodded with confidence.
“You can’t just—”
“I can, and I just did.”
“You really are stubborn.” Crow let out a long sigh and ran a hand through his snowy hair, he rubbed the nape of his neck in thought. He looked up at the man before him. That once beautiful raven hair was now ivory white like his own. They even had matching red eyes. Expect Crow felt more like an ogre then Rean looked.
“Are you done prolonging this, will you let me say it?”
“Not yet.” Crow sat on his hands, so Rean couldn’t see they were shaking. He had to face the truth. Rean wasn’t letting him escape this time. He had nowhere to go anyway, they were trapped on a bloody island. “I’m... tried of hurting you Rean. It’s the one thing I seem to be an expert in. If you want me to be honest, I wanted to die in our Rivalry, at lest then you’d be free of—”
“Crow.” Rean had leaned in removed one of the hands he was sitting on. He held it gently, rubbing over his knuckles with his thumb. “When have I ever said I wanted to be free of you?”
“Stop being thickheaded and hear what I’m saying.” He said with a raised voice and pulled his hand away. “This path you want to go down, only leads to heartbreak. Is that truly what you want?”
“Of course not. As you said Crow, you are on borrowed time. Time that I would’ve never had with you, had you actually died that day in my arms.” His heart almost stopped at the memory. It had been excruciating, like he’d also been shot through the chest. That moment was still one of the worse things he’d ever experienced.
“I was filled with regret for not telling you the truth. You died before I ever got the chance to say it. I won’t make that mistake again Crow.”
“I won’t say it back, if that’s what you’re expecting to happen.”
“Doesn’t matter.” Rean said firmly.
“You think this is fair?”
“Nothing has been fair since I became the Ashen Awakener. I have no control over my destiny as the Sacrifice. I was a hound for the army in the Civil War, I was a puppet to trigger the end of the world. I’ve had no choice over my actions, just more piles of regret. I can’t chance those aspects of my past. But I can change one regret, the one involving you.” Rean spoke clearly and with conviction.
“Way to lay it on thick, geez.” Crow stood up and started pacing the room. He was silent and lost in thought. He was very aware of Rean’s eyes following him every second. Being forced to face Rean wasn’t easy for him. Crow knew what he wished would be reality. Deep down, he knew the truth he’d been running from, but there was no simple way to make it come true.
“Crow, what do you want.” Rean turned on the bed, so he could face him.
“What I want, ha.” He chuckled and ran a hand down his face. “There’s a complicated question. I cannot have what I want Rean, neither can you. Expect I seem to be the only one accepting that fact.” He was starting to get to a little pissed off at this back and forth.
“You’re right, I don’t accept it. And I never will. I refused to accept that I had to kill you earlier and Aidios answered my prayers. You are here, still alive. I... no, We found another way. I’ll find a way to defy our fates too. Together we can do it, I just know it.” Rean was on his feet now, standing face to face with Crow.
“You are hilarious, you know that. Simply a stubborn fool! You’re going to defy a thousand-year-old curse, you’re a riot Rean. You got lucky with the Rivalry, but luck runs out.” He started laughing obnoxiously, as if Rean was telling him the best joke he’d ever heard.
“Cut the crap!” Rean seized Crow by the collar and shoved him up against one of the walls. “Stop lying to yourself, to me, for once Crow! Be honest with yourself, with me.” His hands were shaking, and his heart was thumping in his chest. He could feel the tension become hostile. If Crow wanted to fight, so be it. Rean would punch some sense into him, if he had too.
“I--- well damn.” Crow raised his hands and placed them on the arms holding his collar. His back was physically against a wall, he was trapped on an island with Rean. There was no escape, there was…. His head lowered a little. “I’m terrified, I do not want to die. It hurt like Gehenna the first time. I ain’t going through that again! Especially when I know, you’ll feel the pain a million times more than me.”
“Crow...” Rean loosened his grip but didn’t let go, he was scared of losing Crow again. “I’m not going to let that happen.”
“You can’t promise that.”
“No, but trust in me Crow. I’ll find a way, I always do.” Rean moved forward placing his forehead on Crow chest, trying to hold his tears back. “I just got you back, finally, I won’t....”
“Rean… come here.” He hesitantly wrapped his arms softly around the man, and held him, a chin rested on the top of his head. They were silent for a moment, just embracing and listening to each other’s hearts. “The knowledge that I’m going to kick the bucket is tearing me up. I don’t have room to add the pain of leaving you too.”
“The pain of losing you will be lessened by the fact we had some time together.”
“Now who is lying.” He chuckled and rubbed the top of his head.
“Ah, you got me.” Rean joined in chuckling. “Losing you again will be painful beyond words. But I’m not scared of that pain.”
“Well I am!” Crow countered and slowly started to let Rean go.
“You don’t have to be Crow.” Rean took a step back so he could look up at the beautiful man before him.
“Oh ya, you going to kiss away all my ouchies.”
“Haha, maybe.” Rean cracked a smile. “I see your borrowed time as a gift Crow, and even if it ends in flames and tragedy, I do not want to waste it.”
“Alright Rean.” Crow sighed and held up his hands in defeat, he was always going to surrender to Rean. He just wanted to make the man work for it.
“I can say it?” Rean was like a puppy that had just been told it was okay to eat its food or go outside.
“Go on.”
“I love you Crow.”
“I know Rean.” Crow raised a hand and gentle caressed Rean’s cheek. He hooked his hand behind his neck and pulled forward till their lips met. Rean inhaled, as their tongues danced for the first time in what felt like an eternity. Time and spaced seemed to stop as they lost themselves in each other. “I regret not doing that sooner.”
“We have all night.” Rean leaned in and gave him a quick kiss.
“I didn’t get dinner.” Crow teased.
“I’ll buy you breakfast.”
“Deal.”