Chapter Text
Alex was the rational one in the group. He didn’t jump head first into things like Reggie; he didn’t eagerly embrace stupid ideas like Luke. Julie was his main competitor for the Not a Total Idiot crown, but ever since she and Flynn and Carrie had gotten drunk and prank called the local Papa Johns, Alex was winning. By a razor’s edge, but still. Alex was basking in pride.
. . . Which is why he was not going to give in and snap at Aunt Cathy’s subtle barbs about being gay and single, a double feature of disappointment amongst his conservative, image-heavy family.
“And I guess we can put Alex at the single’s table,” Aunt Cathy said, fiddling with the ridiculously-complex seating chart for Jenna’s country club wedding next week. “Since he won’t have a date. He can sit next to Anna’s pastor’s daughter Berniece. The one with the lazy eye?”
“Actually, Aunt Cathy, I have a date for the wedding.”
. . .Goddamnit. He’d had the crown for less than two days.
~
“I could do it,” Reggie offered that night, right before somehow shoving half a carton of lo mein in his mouth. “I’b be greaf.”
Alex watched him as he chewed, mouth open, and the worst part was, for a second, he actually considered it. But then Julie shook her head. “You’re a horrible actor. You’d way oversell it, and Alex’s family would end up thinking you were holding him hostage.”
“That’d be a step up from queer,” Alex joked, only the three of them looked all sad and pitying, and Alex wanted to shove a chopstick into his eye. Instead he shoved a dumpling in his mouth as Julie continued, “maybe you could borrow Luke?”
Luke perked up like an excited puppy, but Alex swallowed the dumpling whole so he could more quickly convey just how bad of an idea that was. “First of all, my sister has known you since we were kids. Just because it’s her wedding doesn’t mean she’s not going to be distracted enough to not question that I’m suddenly head over heels for the guy who I knew during his singing magician phase. Second,” he continued, before Luke could argue, “Julie will also be there, which means that not only would you have to pretend to be in love with me, you’d have to pretend to not be in love with Julie.” Luke slumped back into his seat, defeated.
“. . .Singing magician phase?” Julie asked, sounding both horrified and a little smitten. God, people in relationships were insufferable.
~
“Reggie, for the final time, we’re not hiring a prostitute!”
“Hey, I’m saying you’re the Richard Gere in this situation. That’s a compliment!”
~
Alex was steadfastly ignoring the texts piling up asking for the name of his mysterious plus one (“We have to finalize the seating chart, Alexander!”), when he was forced to look at things from a new perspective. Literally. He hit the ground with a blow that rattled his teeth, and it was only after a few seconds of huh ow what the fuck ow that he realized he’d been bowled over, and whoever had done it was still on top of him.
“—ted my board,” he heard from above, and Alex rose in fury. Taking out his anger on a douchebag on the street sounded just like what Alex needed, reigning keeper of the brain cell streak or not. “You knocked me over,” Alex started, feeling the rage bubble up, and then the guy took off his helmet and—
Oh. Oh no. Cute. Cute guy. Cute guy in front of Alex—
“Yeah, sorry,” the cute guy said cutely, scrunching his cute nose. “You’re scraped up pretty bad.” He reached out and ran a finger down Alex’s cheek, which Alex supposed was scratched and possibly on fire from the cute guy’s touch. “There’s a coffee shop around the corner I like. Why don’t we head there and I can clean you up.”
“Yes,” Alex was pretty sure he said. That, or have my babies. Tomato, tomahto.
~
Cute guy, whose given name was apparently Willie, not only gently cleaned Alex’s scrape like he was the hero of one of Reggie’s romance novels, but he also bought Alex a coffee, and a muffin to split, which meant that their hands kept bumping chastely on the table. It was the most erotic experience of Alex’s life.
“—and their latest plan is for me to hire the sad guy who takes pictures with tourists outside of our apartment in his weird knock off Yogi costume, which, just, no.” Alex wasn’t sure why he was telling Willie this, except WIllie’s laugh sounded like angels singing, and the sharpness of his cheekbones had completely severed Alex’s brain to mouth filter. “That’s more humiliating than having to confess to my entire family that I lied about having a date.”
Willie stopped laughing and pursed his lips, and Alex’s heart tried to jump out of his chest, Alien style. “I’m free next weekend,” Willie said slowly, “and I definitely owe you one.”
~
“So you’re going with a guy whose first interaction with you was unmitigated violence?” Reggie said, frowning. “Tell me how that’s better than my hiring-an-improv-actor idea?”
Because even though I’ve known him for less than a day, I’d trust Willie with my life, Alex wanted to say. But that was. A Lot, and also the kind of thing he and Reggie made fun of Julie and Luke endlessly for. “His bicep was the size of my head,” Alex said instead. Same thing, really.
~
“How do I look?” Willie asked, opening the door to let Alex into his apartment. He was in a fitted suit, and his hair was pulled back into a neat bun, and Alex could see the adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, and—
“Um, good,” Alex said, trying not to faint like a Victorian maiden.
“You look good too,” Willie said, smiling, with those cheekbones—
“I need some air,” Alex said, running for the car so fast he probably left a Road Runner cloud of dust.
~
The wedding was beautiful, as Alex knew it would be. Even with all of the family drama, Jenna was still his baby sister, and Eric was a good guy. If Alex cried a little during the ceremony, Willie didn’t say anything, but at one point, he settled his arm over Alex’s shoulder, pulling him into Willie’s chest. Willie smelled like sunshine and firewood and Alex wanted to keep that scent for forever.
~
“C’mon,” Willie said later, holding out a hand. “Can’t sell it if we don’t dance.”
“Thanks again,” Alex said quietly, barely alive from Willie’s head hooked over Alex’s shoulder. “You definitely made up for knocking me over.”
“Yeah,” Willie hummed, pulling his head back to look Alex in the eyes. He was smiling, a little, eyes sparkling. “In fact, I’d say you owe me now. Both of your grandmothers have hit on me tonight.”
“What?” Alex asked, taking a second to register what Willie had said. His eyes were so pretty.
“Yeah. I need a date for a holiday party in a few weeks. You interested?”