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Amane tugged Tsukasa back by his collar before he could press his hands to the glass of the display case. His little brother whined but accepted the hand he held out happily and swung it between them as obaasan dug through her purse for money. Tsukasa had his finger to his mouth as his eyes darted over the case, swaying back and forth as he hummed happily.
They only ever got donuts when they came to see Obaasan and Ojiisan. The little shop was owned by one of obaasan’s friends, and she always made Amane a fresh, plain donut when they came in. Tsukasa, on the other hand, liked to spend forever going over the flavors before he made Amane pick one for him; he’d already decided on one of the lemon glazed ones if Tsu couldn’t pick his own.
He caught his reflection in the glass, amber eyes big and round with a dark bruise blooming over his left cheek. Obaasan hadn’t been happy when he and Tsu got off the train at the station, her violet eyes zeroing in on the bruise and the fact he was wearing long sleeves even though summer was creeping in. But she had smiled and ushered them into the car, saying they had a few errands to run before they could go back to the house.
It had only come as a little surprise when they’d pulled up to the shop since they knew that they would be here eventually, but on the first day of their visit? Unheard of. Still, Amane wasn’t going to say no to donuts at any point in time and turned to obaasan as she leaned towards them and asked what they wanted. Tsukasa bounced at his side, his fingers curling and uncurling around Amane’s as he looked before he turned with pleading eyes.
“Can I have a plain one and a lemon one for Tsu, please?”
Tsukasa gasped and whipped back to the case, searching now for the one he would receive. Tsukasa had started this weird obsession with lemon-flavored things about a month ago, and Amane liked watching his face pucker as he bit into the yellow wedges. His brother was so odd sometimes. Obaasan relayed the information over the counter, but Amane was distracted by Tsu now.
His little brother had tugged him across the shop to the shelves which were stacked high with bread and jams, and little mugs. And Amane knew immediately what had caught his brother’s attention, what made him dig for the little coin purse they tucked their allowance in. There were two star-patterned mugs on the shelf, shimmery gold and silver constellations dancing over midnight blue porcelain; perfect for hot cocoa and storytime with ojiisan.
Amane reached for one of the mugs and tipped it to find the price, frowning and shaking his head at Tsukasa. It hurt to watch him crumple, to watch him run his fingers over the patterns before he curled tight into Amane’s side with a huff. They’d have enough money for one of them, but not both, and they weren’t always the best at sharing.
“Did you boys find something?”
They turned in tandem to Obaasan and shook their heads in the negative, and Amane watched as she frowned before looking past them to the mugs. Before Amane could tell her no, she lifted them both from the shelf and carried them to the counter. He pinched Tsukasa’s cheek to make him stop biting his lip and dragged them both after her.
“Obaasan…”
“Your birthdays are coming up soon, and you haven’t told me what you wanted yet. So we’ll consider this part of your gift until you tell me, okay?”
Amane couldn’t do anything but nod as the lady behind the counter wrapped the mugs in paper and put them in a bag. Both he and Tsukasa could only stare as she handed over a box full of donuts before she held out one each for the twins. Tsukasa looked to Amane, and Amane turned questioning eyes to Obaasan before she nodded.
Slowly, as if it was a dream, he took the donuts from the lady’s hand, passing the one with swirls of pale yellow icing to his little brother before he curled his fingers around the plain one, still warm even through the paper. They gave their thanks as Obaasan gathered the box and bag and herded them out the door, tucking a napkin into Tsukasa’s collar for the inevitable mess he would make.
Amane waited until they were buckled into the backseat, waited until Tsu had bit into his donut with a delighted hum, and offered him a bite before he bit into his own. It was crisp on the outside and fluffy on the inside, warm and sweet and he had to set it in his lap as tears welled up in his eyes. He knew something was wrong, Tsukasa knew there was something wrong, and he scrubbed at his cheeks before the tears could get past his lashes.
“Ama-nii.”
Tsukasa’s voice wasn’t even a whisper, barely more than a breath that was lost in the hum of the engine and the noise of the town, but Amane heard it; he always did. He reached out and curled his fingers around the sticky palm held out to him, ignoring the lemon custard that squished through his fingers but made him smile.
It would be okay, no matter what happened, as long as he had Tsukasa. As long as Amane had his twin by his side, he would be able to smile and find the bright stars that led them home. Tsukasa waited a moment before retracting his hand and going back to his donut, sugar and pastry cream decorating his wide smile as he hummed happily.
And Amane went back to his, asking Obaasan if they could try and make their own donuts tonight, and cocoa too. And they both missed the way her mouth trembled before she agreed, and added they could make katsudon tonight and have it in the cat-patterned bowls that Tsukasa liked before they went stargazing with Ojiisan after dusk. They cheered from the backseat as she turned into the grocery store and Amane laughed, high and clear and happy, as she wiped Tsukasa’s face and hands clean before they went in. Amane took his brother’s hand with a smile, both of them jumping over the parking lines as Obaasan trailed behind them, calling for them to be careful.
(There was a crash from the kitchen, closely followed by another, and she found shattered porcelain and glass across the floor. Amane and Tsukasa’s mugs lay broken among the wreckage of her vase of camellias, the petals drifting over the pieces of well-loved stars like drops of blood.)
Amane paused and pulled Tsukasa to his side as a car zoomed past, smiling up as Obaasan set her hands on their heads. Something felt funny, like just before a thunderstorm; that tingling sensation that settled behind your eyes and wound up your spine. Amane shook his head, racing Tsukasa to get to a basket, and compromising as they held it between them as they shopped.
Tonight, they would curl up together to go to bed like they usually did, warm from the bath and full of sugar and good food. Amane would run his fingers through Tsukasa’s damp hair as the radio played in the background, lulling them both to sleep as the moon kept watch over them. And just for a little while longer, both the Yugi twins could be happy.