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Nico listened carefully, his eyes on the horizon, his body shaking slightly, as he sat on the mast of the Argo II.
Below him, he could hear the cheerful chatter of the rest of the demigods on the ship, despite the suffering that Annabeth and Percy were going through, trapped in Tartarus. It was a slightly welcome change, the conversation, not that Nico would ever admit that, or join in on it.
He would never be accepted, he knew that people looked at him like he was trash, something to be cast out, and he knew it would never change. He would forever be alone.
“God, Jason, you’re so annoying.” Piper said with a laugh as her boyfriend flicked food at her from across the table, causing Hedge to scold the son of Jupiter.
“I’m not, you love me.” He said, grinning at his girlfriend.
Nico looked away, for a moment, hoping he hadn’t been seen looking, although he wasn’t entirely sure if people had even noticed he was there, sitting on top of the mast, and deep down being desperate to be included, to be liked.
After a moment, he looked over again, and once it became clear no one had seen him staring, or even noticed him, he tuned into the conversation again, but switched his focus, to once again focus on the horizon.
“Of course I love you, you’re my soulmate, you dork.” She said with a laugh.
“Love you too Pipes.”
“Good.”
For a moment, Nico focused on the word.
Soulmates.
Gods, what he wouldn’t give to have a soulmate, someone who would love him, someone who wanted him around… anyone who wanted to be in his presence for that matter. He hated how desperate he was for company, but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t want to be hated.
He knew he’d made mistakes in the past, and he did feel guilty about them, of course he did, but he’d changed, he’d grown up, he tried, repeatedly to rectify them, and yet he was still hated. Still ostracised.
He brushed it aside after a moment.
Soulmates weren’t a thing, that he was sure of.
They couldn’t be. If people could have soulmates, why would mortals sleep with the Gods willingly? Surely they wouldn’t do that to their soulmates.
Soulmates, an enticing concept he craved with every inch of his being, but a remote and ridiculous one.
Trying to put the conversation from his mind, Nico tuned out the conversation below and watched the horizon, desperate to forget everything but the moment.
PJOHOOTOA.
The Diocletian Scepter.
Nico had seen Jason’s face fall, and saw the fear flit across his features as he thought about having to go on a quest with the son of Hades.
That hurt more than Nico cared to admit, even to himself.
Jason had agreed however, despite his obvious reluctance.
Favonius, took the two demigods to the ruins, where they met Eros, and Nico’s heart clenched, his knees shook, and he wanted to vomit when he realised what he would have to do, what he would have to reveal in front of the other teenager who would judge him as everyone else would.
The final words of Favonius echoed around his skull, and he knew he was right. He couldn’t lie to Cupid...Eros… whatever you wanted to call him. Nico was desperate, so he tried.
“Annabeth-” He gasped but was immediately cut off.
“Nico, it’s okay. I get it.” Jason told him.
How did he get it? How could he possibly know how repulsed he felt by himself? He had never experienced the pain, the misery of knowing who he was, knowing how bad he had hated himself, how much he still hated himself.
“No, you don’t. There’s no way you can understand.”
“So you run away, from your friends, from yourself.” Cupid chided.
“I don’t have friends! I left Camp Half-Blood because I don’t belong! I’ll never belong!”
Nico didn’t see the flash of regret cross Jason’s face, but the guilt was spiking him. Jason had been just as bad, he had wanted to leave Nico trapped in the jar, and had felt no guilt about it. He had felt fine with leaving the younger boy to die. What sort of monster was he? Who did that?
Finally, Nico spoke again.
“I- I wasn’t in love with Annabeth.”
“You were jealous of her-” Jason began.
Nico didn’t hear the rest of what the older boy said over the rushing in his ears. He wanted to be anywhere else, he wanted to be alone, he wanted to never see anyone else again.
As Cupid became visible, Nico looked up slightly, anger in his eyes.
“I had a crush on Percy. That’s the truth. That’s the big secret. Happy now?” He said, glaring at the now visible son of Aphrodite.
“Oh, I wouldn’t say love always makes you happy. Sometimes it makes you incredibly sad. However, once you meet your soulmate, well things change, but there’s so much fun in the lead up, in the failed relationships, the mistakes.” Cupid said, eyes glinting.
Nico didn’t say anything.
Soulmates.
That word again.
“But little Nico doesn’t know about soulmates, does he? You don’t know.” Cupid laughed, loudly.
“What-” Jason began, but Cupid cut him off.
“You’ve faced it now, your crush.That’s the only way to conquer me.”
The Diocletian Scepter fell to the floor, and Nico immediately knelt to pick it up, careful not to make eye contact with Jason as he did.
“If the others find out-”
“You’d have more people to support you.”
Nico didn’t want to hear it. It was too late. They had never supported him before, not rally, so why would they change now they knew.
“Nico, there’s nothing wrong with being gay, or bi, or whatever, you know? You’ll still find your soulmate, all demigods have one.”
“I don’t have a soulmate.” Nico spat, before grabbing Jason’s arm and shadow travelling them away.
PJOHOOTOA.
As soon as they were back at the ship, Nico immediately made his way up to the top of the mast, leaving a stunned Jason looking up at him.
“Jason, you okay babe? How was the quest?” Piper asked, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.
For a second, Jason forgot as he took in the radiating comfort Piper provided. It didn’t take him long to remember, and he knew he needed to talk to Piper, but not in a way that would reveal Nico’s secret. He’d never out the younger boy. He needed to ask her to talk to the son of Hades, reassure him, but he knew it wasn’t something he could do himself. The boy had acted as if had never even heard about soulmates, the way he was acting, and being alone most of the time probably explained that.
“I’m fine. The quest went okay.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah babe, it’s okay, everything went fine.”
He knew he couldn’t speak to Piper on the deck of the ship, but he couldn’t take her down immediately either. If he did, Nico would never trust him again. He’d think he revealed his secret.
He’d have to wait.
“If you insist, we’re going to eat soon, once Hedge finishes doing… whatever he said he was doing.”
Jason nodded, but took a seat at the table in preparation anyway.
PJOHOOTOA.
It wasn’t until a day or so later that he finally got a moment alone to talk to Piper.
“Pipes?”
“Yeah?”
“I-I was wondering if you could speak to Nico for me.”
She frowned.
“Why?”
Jason paused for a moment.
“I don’t think he knows about soulmates.”
Piper stopped in her tracks. She remembered her memories of being taught that she would have a soulmate, and how excited she had been about it, even though she had tried to hide it. She couldn’t recall if it was an implanted memory by Hera, or if she had already known, but the excitement had been real.
Either way, Hera had technically brought her soulmate to her, and she was thankful to the goddess for that, even if all the memories leading up to that had been fake.
“What makes you think that?”
“It’s… just something I picked up on. I can’t tell you how I know, but-”
“If you can’t tell me, I trust you. I trust you Jason. I’ll speak to him… when do you think?”
“Soon might be best, we’re getting close to-”
“Yeah, I know, I’ll do it now if I can get him alone.”
“Thanks Pipes.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before she made her way to the deck. She knew he wouldn’t be anywhere else, he rarely was, especially as he had refused to take Percy’s room while the elder boy was in Tartarus.
“Nico!” She called up to him as she reached the base of the mast.
He turned to look at her.
“I need to talk to you, can you come down here?”
Piper was surprised at how quickly he seemed to pale, especially because she hadn’t thought he’d be able to, his skin already looked a sickly white green colour like tree sap.
To her relief, Nico nodded and made his way down.
As he got closer, she noticed how bad he looked. The boy looked as if he had barely slept in weeks, he was gaunt and thin, as if food wasn’t something he considered a necessity, and his clothes were ruffled. She briefly wondered if she’d be able to get Leo to lend him some, but she kind of doubted Nico would agree, even if Leo did.
“Jason asked me to speak to you.” She confessed, knowing he’d be able to tell if she was lying.
Immediately his knees buckled, and she was shocked as she saw tears spring to his eyes.
“He told you? He told you what happened? He promised he-” Nico stopped as his voice caught in his throat, and he slid down, his back against the mast as his breath caught in his throat, and the words died.
“Nico? Nico?” She asked, crouching to his level.
She pressed a hand to his shoulder, but quickly pulled it back as he let out a cross between a strangled sob and a yelp.
“I’ll get Hazel, I’ll be quick.” She said, standing again and darting off to get the daughter of Pluto.
PJOHOOTOA.
She quickly got back to the deck, Hazel on her heels, and Hedge behind her as he had wanted to help, feeling slightly responsible for the son of Hades, who he took to be part of the people he was now meant to be looking after.
As she reached it however, she saw a frantic looking Leo who was pacing, but kept looking back at the son of Hades, panic clear.
“I just found him like this Hazel, I promise, I-”
“Move.” Piper commanded, charmspeak slipping into her words as she realised she didn’t really have the time to reassure Leo.
He moved out of the way immediately, and Hazel flung herself over to her brother, who now had his face buried in his knees.
“Leo, Piper, back below deck.” Hedge commanded.
“But-” She began to protest.
He glared at her, and the two teens slunk below deck, disappearing from view.
PJOHOOTOA.
“Nico? Nico can you hear me?” Hazel asked quietly.
The boy lifted his head slightly, a sign of acknowledgement.
Hedge crouched.
“Hey, Nico, I need you to take a deep breath in for four seconds, and then out for six, can you do that for me?”
The boy nodded slightly, looking younger than he was as tearful eyes stared at satyr.
He did as instructed.
“And again for me lad?”
Nico repeated, and more recognition seemed to appear in his eyes.
“That’s good, that’s good, keep going okay?”
Hedge briefly debated whether he should try and ground the boy, make him say what he could see, smell, taste, hear and feel, but it seemed as if he was coming back without it, so he left it.
“And again.” Hedge commanded.
Finally, after a good few minutes, Nico unfurled himself slightly. He looked exhausted, and he carefully rested his head on Hazel’s shoulder after checking he was okay to do so, and she wrapped her arm around him carefully, surprised that he had made an effort to have any touch at all. He was extremely touch averse most of the time.
“You with us lad?” Hedge asked.
“Mmm.”
“Good. Hazel, why don’t you take him to your room, and he should get some sleep.”
Nico looked like he was about to protest, but at Hedge’s stern look, and a similar one on Hazel’s face, he finally relented.
“Okay.”
“Good. We’ll save you some food for when you wake up.”
“Thank you.” He muttered.
Hazel carefully stood and wrapped an arm around her weak, trembling brother.
Once they reached her room, she carefully helped him into bed, and tucked him in, and was surprised when an extremely bony hand extended out.
“Stay?” He asked, voice quiet, but seemingly surprised at his own request.
“Always. Budge up so I have some room though, okay?”
“Mmm.”
It didn’t take him long to fall asleep, and Hazel briefly moved the hair out of his face.
She was surprised, and guilty at how ill he looked. He had always looked slightly anemic, but since Tartarus, since the jar, he looked downright fragile, although she knew that was immensely misleading.
Nico was one of the strongest demigods she knew. He could summon skeletons at a moments notice and he was an extremely skilled sword fighter, perhaps even better than Percy, not that she would ever say that to the son of Poseidon’s face.
Hazel fell asleep at some point too, and woke to a quiet knock on the door, and Frank’s slightly anxious face peered around it.
“Are you coming from dinner?” He mouthed, careful not to wake Nico.
She shook her head, looking down at her brother. She had said she would stay, and she had no intention of breaking that promise.
Frank nodded, before disappearing behind the door once more.
PJOHOOTOA.
Nico woke just after sunset, and he thanked Hazel for staying with him, which she had easily waved off.
He knew Leo was meant to be on first lookout, and Nico quickly decided to hide somewhere else on the ship while Hazel slept for the night. He didn’t want to see the son of Hephaestus, embarrassed at what the boy had witnessed.
“Nico?”
He looked up, from where he was sitting near the trap door at the bottom of the ship, and looked up to a slightly guilty looking Jason.
Nico immediately leapt to his feet, and drew his sword in an instant.
“You told her.” He said, sword extended, just daring the boy to move any closer.
“I didn’t! I promise I didn’t! She has no idea about that, I wanted her to talk to you about soulmates, that’s all, I promise. She’s behind me, please just…”
Nico carefully lowered his sword, but his anger didn’t fully die.
“Promise me.”
“I swear it on the styx, I never revealed what you admitted.”
Nico put his sword away, and Piper came into the room as silence filled it.
“Nico, I’m sorry I freaked you out earlier. It wasn’t my intention.”
“It’s okay.” He muttered, staring at his shoe, and refusing to meet her eyes.
Piper quickly sat down opposite him, mirroring his cross legged position, which finally made him look at her. She had expected to feel some fear, but none came. She was finally beginning to see that Nico wasn’t a bad person, he wasn’t evil, and you only had to fear him if you’d made an enemy of him.
“I wanted to talk to you about soulmates. Have you met yours? Jason said you don’t think you have one, so…”
“I don’t.” He snapped.
“Why do you-”
“I was born in 1932! If I had a soulmate, they’d be long dead by now. I don’t have one anyway.”
Piper decided not to comment on how Nico hadn’t said she.
“Nico, I don’t think that’s true. All demigods have soulmates, even if their soulmates are mortal. If they’re mortal they can normally see through the mist.”
Nico seemed to be listening intently, but his eyes were once again on his shoe.
“By the sound of it, if you haven’t met your soulmate, and what we were… told…” Jason said carefully.
“Then I still am to meet them.” He said quietly, voice cracking.
“Yeah.”
“When you meet them, you’ll feel a sort of constant attachment to them that you won’t expect, but it isn’t love, at least not at that point. Once you actually touch them, that’s when you’ll know. A sort of spark resonates in both of you and then…” Piper trailed off.
Nico nodded.
“I got it, thanks.” He said, before looking out of a porthole in the side of the ship, making it clear the conversation was over.
“Right, well… we’re off. Night Nico.”
“Night.”
PJOHOOTOA.
Nico had no time to dwell on the idea of soulmates and what Piper had told him as he fought his way through the House of Hades, and then rushed to get the Athena Parthenos to Camp Half-Blood to try and diffuse the rising tensions between the Greek and Roman camps.
On the trip he was surprised about how much he had bonded with Reyna and Coach Hedge, and with all the time he had spent unconscious, he still hadn’t really thought about soulmates, deciding to push it off until after the war with Gaea, until that wasn’t a possibility any more.
PJOHOOTOA.
After leaving Leila and Dakota in the car, and disappearing into shadows, he flinched as he landed on the top of Half Blood Hill.
He looked down at his limbs and realised they were slowly disappearing into shadows, he was beginning to dissolve. He wanted to cry slightly, he was never going to meet his soulmate now, he probably wasn’t even going to make it to the end of the war.
Nico took a deep breath, knowing he couldn’t cry. He had work to do.
Ignoring the whispers in his ears from the spirits, demanding that he join them, he stumbled forward, trying to make his movements as normal as possible, despite feeling like a newborn colt.
He saw the onagers, and the traps the Romans had laid out to fight the Greeks, and he took a deep breath, readying himself for another shadow travel jump, knowing it was likely to be his last.
Just as he was about to go, a voice shocked him from his thoughts.
“Nico?” A soft voice whispered.
Nico spun, sword in hand, but lowered it after a moment as he met Will Solace’s eyes and a rush of unknown affection ran through him. He tried to shake it off, not knowing what happened, but Will’s wide eyes informed him of all he needed to know.
“What are you guys doing? Are you trying to get yourselves killed?” Nico hissed as he saw Cecil Markowitz and Lou Ellen Blackstone crouched down, dressed in a similar getup to Will.
“We’re scouting the enemy.” Lou Ellen told the son of Hades with a slightly wicked grin.
Will was still staring at Nico with wide eyes.
“You dressed in black, but the sun is rising? Also Will, you didn’t cover your mop of blonde hair… it’s like waving a yellow flag.”
Will was still speechless, and Cecil and Lou Ellen exchanged a confused and slightly concerned look.
“You’re Nico right? I’ve heard a lot about you. I’ve wrapped mist around us.” She informed him.
He nodded slightly, acknowledging that it was actually a good idea.
Nico knelt next to the still silent Will, Lou Ellen and Cecil, and turned to look at them again.
“Did Coach Hedge make it to camp?”
“Did he ever.” Lou Ellen said with a nervous laugh.
This seemed to snap Will out of his stupor.
“I had to deliver the baby! Have you ever delivered a baby? I needed fresh air which is why I took this mission. My hands are still shaking!” He said, quickly grabbing Nico’s hand.
As their hands touched, a jolt of electricity ran through the entirety of Nico’s body, and his mouth dropped open as Will looked surprised but extremely pleased.
“No way.” Cecil muttered, looking between the two, clearly knowing what had happened.
“You’re soulmates.” Lou Ellen whispered.
“Yeah.” Will said, his face morphing into a goofy grin.
“We don’t have time for this right now, I need to-”
“Shadow travel? Yeah, that’s not happening.” Will snorted.
“Excuse me?”
“Hedge told me all about shadow travel and its effects on you currently. You can’t do that again.”
“Excuse me?”
Will just raised an eyebrow at him.
“I just tried it again, I'll have you know, and I’m fine.”
“That’s not true. Even under the shocks, I could feel the darkness in your hand. Even if you make it to the tent, you wouldn’t be able to fight. Also, you wouldn’t make it to the tent.”
“I need to-”
“Yes, we need to stop the Romans, and we will, but that won’t be how.”
“I-”
“Nico. Please… please promise me?”
Nico looked deep into the blue of Wil’s eyes, and he knew he couldn’t do it. Will was his soulmate, something he had been craving since he had discovered they existed, but he represented something more. He represented something Nico had wanted for as long as he could remember. Someone that could, and hopefully would, come to care for him.
“I promise.”
“Good.”
Nico was surprised at how aggravating and stubborn the son of Apollo was being, but he knew he was right. He had always considered the slightly older boy to be laid back and easygoing however, and now he knew that wasn’t right.
Inside him something whispered that it was best that he could be stubborn, perhaps someone stubborn would make him do the things he neglected to do himself. The voice sounded slightly like Hazel, and Nico had to stop his face contorting into worry at the thought of his sister and the danger she was definitely in.
The group made their way through the onagers breaking them down, and trying to do as much damage as possible without making it obvious.
Nico found himself pleasantly amused as Lou Ellen turned six Romans into tiny pink piglets, and she blushed as he praised her on it.
This seemed to make Will stare at Nico in more awe than he had before.
As they finally got seen, Nico summoned some skeletons to try and fight the Romans but nearly immediately collapsed face forward, and would have likely broken his nose if Will hadn’t caught him.
Nico felt another jolt, and he tried to keep a blush off his face as he felt Will’s arm snake around his waist.
He ended up eating gum Will provided which tasted like dirt, but his desperation to please his soulmate meant that he didn’t complain, at least not too much.
As the fight continued, Nico was impressed at Will’s horrifically loud, piercing whistle, which caused the dog-men to drop their weapons.
He accidentally upset Will when he revealed he still intended to leave camp, even though he wasn’t entirely sure if that was actually the case anymore.
Things seemed to move too fast after that, and before he even knew what had happened, the fight against Gaea had broken out and he was fighting back to back with Jason and Will was nowhere in sight. He tried not to worry, but he was, and it was overtaking his entire being, but the adrenaline pumping through his veins was just as powerful.
Finally Will appeared, and they headed for Octavian, who ended up launching himself and then, everything was over, and Gaea was no longer awake.
Nico was a bit confused, and opened his mouth to speak, but Will was immediately dragged away to help the injured, and Nico, feeling slightly lost, went searching for Hazel.
PJOHOOTOA.
The morning after the end of the war, Nico was still exhausted from lack of sleep, after spending the night praying to his Father.
“Morning Nico.”
Nico turned to smile at his fully awake and dressed sister. He hadn’t even noticed her moving before that.
“Morning Hazel.”
The two turned quickly when a knock echoed around the cabin, and Nico rushed to answer the door, and his mouth fell open slightly as he saw Will Solace, looking slightly grumpy.
“Er...hi?”
Hazel looked between the two for a moment, before a huge smile broke across her face.
“I’ll leave you to it. I need to see Frank.”
As she left, and the door closed, Nico felt extremely awkward, especially as Will’s angry look.
“Please don’t hate me.” Nico blurted, before slapping a hand over his mouth.
He definitely hadn’t intended to say that, and he had no idea why he had. However, he was calmed by Will’s presence, and how some of the anger fell from his face as he saw the genuine look of concern on Nico’s.
“Hate you? Why on earth would I hate you?”
“I- I mean, after Octavian, I didn’t… I didn’t save him.”
Will took a step closer to him, and Nico steeled himself, looking forward and to his surprise found himself focussing on the spattering of freckles across his soulmate’s face. He really liked those freckles and the way they were painted across Will’s face.
“I don’t hate you Nico. I’m just angry that you didn’t come and see me. I mean… we’re soulmates. You felt that too, right?” He said, for a moment looking slightly vulnerable.
“Yeah. Yeah I felt it. We are. We are soulmates.” He said, a blush creeping onto his face.
“Good. Good.”
“Good.”
“I’m glad.”
“You are?” Nico asked, surprised.
“Yeah. You’re brave, you’re loyal, you’re beautiful.” Will whispered, taking another step towards Nico.
“You are. Not me. You are. You’re so beautiful.” Nico whispered immediately.
It was Will’s turn to blush, which he did, violently.
“No you.”
“No you.”
“Can- Can I hug you?” Will asked.
Nico paused for a second, and to his relief, and slight confusion, he realised how much he wanted it. How much he wanted to be wrapped in the son of Apollo’s arms.
“Yes.”
“Thanks.”
Will took another step, closing the space between them, and he wrapped his arms around the son of Hades, and Nico clung on, desperate for the affection, the reassurance, the safety that Will let out.
“I’m sorry.” Nico whispered, and he was surprised to hear a choked sob escape his throat.
Will wrapped his arms tighter around the boy.
“You have nothing to be sorry for darling. I’m here for you. I’m here. You’re safe.” Will whispered.
After ten or so minutes, Nico calmed down, and pulled away, however, in a moment of confidence, he took Will’s hand in his own, and Will beamed at him.
“You okay now darling?”
“Yeah, I… yeah.”
“Good. Now Nico, where’ve you been?”
“Here? What?”
“I mean, why haven’t you been to the infirmary. You need to heal, I know that from the… everything, pretty much.”
“I’m fine.”
“Yeah, sure you are, and I’m able to plait fog.”
Nico frowned at the comparison for a moment.
“Infirmary.” Will commanded.
“Fine. Fine.”
“Good. Plus, we now have a perfect opportunity to get to know each other.”
Nico blushed again.