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Shuichi isn’t one for physical contact. He never got much affection as a child and he’s gotten rather used to it. Ever since he was younger he’s grown accustomed to giving more than receiving, so he feels somewhat... awkward when someone tries to show him kindness.
He didn’t understand this feeling deep inside him. He didn’t recognize what he was longing for. He hadn’t felt this in years, for he didn’t know how to feel. Not until he felt it again for the first time in ages.
Saihara was sitting in the common room reading a novel he found in the library. He had only been there for about 15 minutes before Kokichi strode in. At the time, Saihara could care less about who was walking in and out of the room, as he was intrigued by the book.
Without realizing Ouma was standing over him, Saihara felt the weight on his head grow lighter. He decided to put it aside until he noticed Kokichi sit on the chair next to him. He took a second to remove his eyes from the story and look at Kokichi. That was when he realized he wasn’t wearing his hat anymore.
“Took ya long enough Saihara-chan! I thought you’d never notice me!!”
Shuichi was still trying to comprehend what was happening, he can be sort of slow at times. It took him a second to notice that Kokichi was wearing his hat.
“W-wait a second, Ouma-kun! Give me my hat!”
“Nishishi~ Saihara-chan, you know how I feel about this dumb emo hat! Why wear it? What’s the point? Hmm? It hides your pretty eyes~”
His face slightly turned pink at the compliment.
“Ouma-kun, come on.” Shuichi said, reaching out to grab his hat back from Kokichi.
“Alright! Alright!” Kokichi took the hat off of his head and handed it to Shuichi. As he was giving it back to him, their fingers brushed against each other. There was this feeling that came over Shuichi the second their hands touched one another. A feeling of contentment, of satisfaction, of… joy. It was gone the second they pulled away from one another, and Shuichi couldn’t figure out what this abrupt aspiration was. Why was he feeling this way?
Shuichi could feel his face heat up as he was trying to grasp the reality of his emotions. Quickly, he threw on his hat and ran out of the room, not even bothering to bookmark or put away the story he had been reading. Why did he run? He was flustered, that’s why. He was confused. He’d never felt this way before, can you really blame him?
Ouma was left in the common room alone, curious of the reason Saihara suddenly up and left. Was it something he did? Something he said?
‘He left his book…’ Ouma thought, turning towards where Shuichi had recently been seated, ‘without a bookmark, that is. Why was he in such a rush? Did I do something to hurt his feelings?’
Little did Kokichi know, the reason for his sudden departure was the opposite of what he thought. Kokichi made Shuichi feel something. Not in a bad way, that is. He made him feel an emotion he wasn’t familiar with, satisfaction.
{•~•}
Ever since his encounter with Ouma, Shuichi had tried his best to receive whatever touch he could. Every time he got what he longed for, he felt some sort of accomplishment. He still had no clue as to what this feeling could be, but for the first time in his life… he enjoyed it. He enjoyed receiving, even if the other party wasn’t giving it intentionally.
Even though he felt satisfied enough from contact with his peers, nothing could compare to the first time experienced this. The time in the common room with Kokichi. Neither of them had talked about it since then, but Kokichi had noticed Shuichi being exceedingly physical compared to how he used to be. He’d never been the type to willingly touch others, so what changed?
Ouma invited Saihara over to hang out one night. They weren’t the closest of friends, but Shuichi was one of the only ones who could tolerate Ouma. Ouma’s feelings for the taller boy had helped him calm down a bit around him. He had to be at least a bit bearable if he wanted Shuichi to continue talking to him.
That night Ouma and Saihara were sitting on his bed, scrolling through social media. Shuichi had been a bit tense that night, and Ouma could tell. He didn’t know why he was anxious, but he knew he was.
Every once in a while, Shuichi would slightly move his hand, as if he was trying to do something, but he would always move it back right away. Kokichi noticed that something was up, and decided to talk to him about it.
“Saihara-chan.” Ouma turned towards Saihara, taking his eyes off of his screen. “Are you alright?”
“Huh? O-oh yeah, I’m fine…” Shuichi swiftly looked at Ouma before he returned his attention to the small device in his hands.
“Are you sure? Cause you don’t look alright!”
“W-what? What do you mean?”
“Don’t think I don’t notice whatever you’re doing with your hand! Are you trying to do something? What are you trying to do? Tell me!” Kokichi was progressively getting closer to Saihara as he continued asking questions.
“N-no! It’s nothing, really!” Shuichi started scooting back as Kokichi got closer. Kokichi didn’t stop until they were so close, their noses were almost touching.
“Hmm… I don’t believe you but whatever! If you say so!” Ouma backed up, sitting on the other end of the bed again. Shuichi didn’t realize what he had been doing until Kokichi brought it up to him. It was hard for him to stop himself from touching Kokichi, to try and see if the feeling he’d felt the first time returned, but he pulled himself together. Kind of.
It’d been about half an hour later when they decided to watch a movie. A few minutes in, his urges got the best of him and he reached towards Ouma again, before isolating himself once again. Kokichi could see the struggle this boy was going through and decided to settle this thing that’s been going on.
“Saihara, it’s clear you’re not alright. What is it?” Ouma paused the movie before turning to face Shuichi.
“Huh? O-oh, it’s not that big of a dea-”
“There’s obviously something wrong. Tell me.” Ouma deadpanned. Shuichi could see the seriousness in his eyes, and it made him feel guilty. He sighed, thinking of how to phrase this before he spoke again.
“Can I just… uhm… y-you know what nevermind. I-it’s stupid. Just ignore me, I don’t even know what I need right now.”
Kokichi looked Shuichi directly in the eyes with a solemnity that he’d never seen on the younger boy before. It made him feel anguish, but at the same time, he felt oddly… relaxed? Like, he could tell the other what he was feeling without him criticizing him.
“Do it.”
“W-what?”
“Do it.” Kokichi repeated. “Do whatever you’re wanting to do. I won’t judge you. Trust me on this!” he could hear Kokichi’s child-like personality coming back to him, though he could still sense the sincerity in him.
“But-”
“No buts. Do it.”
Shuichi was hesitant, but he followed Ouma’s instructions. Shakily, he brought his hand up to Ouma’s face. His hand hovered over his cheek for a second before he grazed his fingers on Ouma’s smooth skin. He felt closer to him, he felt satisfied, but he wasn’t satisfied enough. He needed to be closer. Why did he still feel so empty?
Saihara carefully took the other's face in his hands, trying to figure out the reason for this desire, this yearning feeling inside of him. As he was wandering off in his mind, the shorter of the two found his face heating up. Good thing Saihara wasn’t paying attention.
When Shuichi came back to reality, he recoiled his hands and muttered something under his breath. Kokichi heard him say something about it ‘not being enough’ or ‘not feeling the same’.
“S-sorry, I don’t know what came across me I guess I was jus-”
Saihara wasn’t expecting Kokichi to do what he did. The purple-haired boy placed his hand on the other's cheek, now cupping his face instead. Shuichi looked up to see purple eyes beaming at him, both of their faces red as tomatoes.
“O...oh.” was all Shuichi said. At that moment he placed his own hand over Ouma’s, longing for him to be as close as possible.
“You’re touch starved, Saihara-chan.” Kokichi informed Shuichi, placing his forehead against the others. He wasn’t sure how it took him this long to figure it out, but now that he knows, he just can’t get enough. He never wants to let go of Ouma, and he never wants Ouma to let go of him.
The taller pulls the other into a tight hug, as they continue the movie they had been watching earlier that night. They both grew tired after a while, clinging to one another as they drifted into unconsciousness.