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“Jeongin!”
“Hyung, I’m fine,” Jeongin grits out between his teeth, eyes shut as the blood poured from the gunshot. His trembling hands were clasped over his wound, breath trying to steady out as he willed himself not to panic.
“Fuck no, you’re not!” The younger gangster couldn’t protest as Chan rips the sleeve of his own shirt off, immediately pressing it against the rush of blood. Jeongin’s in tears now, the throbbing pain in his torso at the forefront of his thoughts. He’s still at least able to think coherently though, seeing an approaching figure just around the corner.
“Duck!” He yells, his shaking hand grabbing one of his knives from his belt and throwing it right as Chan ducked, the weapon hitting the enemy right in the chest. The man collapsed, wide eyes and his still body telling them Jeongin had successfully killed him.
They’re in the crossfires of a deal gone wrong- an ally turned traitor. The group had come in strong, six gangsters following their peacemakers, Felix and Hyunjin. Chan and Jeongin had followed the two into the private room, while the rest stood guard, scattered around the perimeter. It was all going smoothly, until Dohyun- the Mafia leader they had been meeting with- had decided to turn the tables on them and betray them, cutting their allyship short. His men had instantly attacked the others, and now the Strays were trapped in a shootout, Hyunjin and Felix taking cover in the hallway, Jeongin and Chan behind a tipped table.
“Can you stand?” Chan asked softly, and Jeongin nodded, his stained hand on top of Chan’s that was holding the cloth to his wound. He stands, his legs wobbly, but stable enough to take limping steps. The two made their way out as quickly as they could, darting behind furnitures at the sounds of gunshots, and they successfully make it back to the van they had came in. Felix and Hyunjin were already there, thankfully with only mere scratches, and few other gangsters had arrived too, only two men missing.
“Hyerim and Jaewook, they’re dead,” Hyunjin breathed out, hands immediately searching for the first aid kit once his eyes landed on Jeongin’s bloody wound. Chan could hear the hitches of breaths around him, the strings of curses and words spilling into the air filling his ears. But he couldn’t give himself a chance to grieve, not when his mind was focused on one thing: Jeongin.
“No, come on baby, stay with me,” he utters out in panic when he sees Jeongin’s eyes start to close, hands tearing through the first aid for the supplies he needed.
The van is moving now, Felix and Lisa propped against the sides in the back, shooting out the opening at the enemies who came running after them. Everyone’s holding on to something, the van jerking with every bump that was sped over. As soon as they were a distance away, the doors closed, the van starting to run smoothly on the road.
Chan is frantically looking through the duffel bag, paying no mind to the hectic chaos amidst his gang. He finally finds the bottle of vodka, using the hem of his shirt to open it. In a haze, he strips Hyunjin of his belt, the younger yelping in protest as he tries to weasel away, but Chan’s persistent, his mind only focused on Jeongin.
“Bite this,” he holds the folded strap near Jeongin’s mouth, and with all the remaining strength he could muster, the blonde bites down, eyes fighting to stay open.
Chan pours the vodka on the wound and Jeongin screams, the sound barely muffled by the belt. Everyone is just watching with wide eyes- some terrified, some worried, and some in shock. The eldest doesn’t pay any mind to them, in fact, everyone was practically nonexistent to him, his fear of losing someone that he cares so deeply about completely clouding his mind.
Even in his panicked state, his hands were steady as he manages to extract the bullet, the tweezers going in and out smoothly, He takes a swig of the alcohol to ease his nerves, trying his best to ignore the whimpering sounds coming from the blonde, only focused on trying to stitch him up. He couldn’t let worry cloud his judgement, not when Jeongin’s life was on the line.
“Jeongin?” He asked softly once he finishes, worried eyes scanning the younger’s face. He was completely still, face unmoving, and Chan starts to panic until-
“Give me the damn vodka,” Jeongin mutters out, and there’s a collective sigh of relief, a chorus of laughter and exclamations filling the air. A smile breaks out on Chan’s face, weak, but fond, and he hands the bottle over with teary eyes, feeling his panic wash away as he watches the younger take a swig of the alcohol.
“Don’t ever scare me like that again, you hear me?” Hyunjin speaks up amongst the chatter, Jeongin looking up with a crooked smile.
“Could’ve been worse,” he laughs, head falling to rest on Chan’s shoulder. His body feels weak, so weak, and he’s tempted to just drift into a long sleep. But he holds off on it, not wanting to cause more panic amongst the members.
“Yah, you fucking get shot at and nearly die on us, and it could’ve been worse?” The laughter that follows tells Jeongin that Hyunjin was only teasing, but he couldn’t help but notice the way Chan stiffened up beside him, fists gripping at his own thighs.
“Hyung, I’m fine. I’m alive,” he rests a stained hand on top of Chan’s and immediately the elder relaxes, but he’s still quiet, his eyes never looking over.
The rest of the ride was spent like that, with the gangsters discussing their next move with Dohyun and how to bring it up with their boss, and Chan and Jeongin silently listening in, the two too spent to add any input.
When they arrive at the gang’s place, Hyunjin is the first one out, helping Jeongin get out of the van in a way that wouldn’t mess up his stitches. One by one, the gangsters pile out, until it was just Chan and Lisa, Lisa’s eyes fixated on Chan. She’s been watching him the whole ride, and knew exactly what was on his mind, the two having known each other for quite a while.
“Hey, he’s fine. You saved him,” she says gently, a tender hand coming to rest on his shoulder.
“I could’ve lost him, noona” are the first words he utters since the whole ordeal, his voice choking at the words.
“But you didn’t. Dude, stop dwelling on the could haves. He’s alive, he’s fine, nothing a few weeks of recovery can’t fix. You’ve been shot before, you know how it is.”
“I was, I was just scared ” The word feels foreign on his tongue, an admittance that hardly ever comes out of him. Chan is one of, if not the toughest guy in his group- he rarely lets fear take a step in his direction, oftentimes the one the devil ran from instead.
“And it’s totally okay to be scared sometimes. You don’t always have to be tough all the damn time. You’re not the machine you think you are, you’re a human being, just like the rest of us, feeling human things, just like the rest of us. It’s just expected.” Lisa’s words send a comforting feeling through Chan’s mind, a soft smile on his face as he hugged the elder woman.
“Thank you, Lisa,” he mumbles out, getting an appreciative hum in response. The two pull away, smiles on both of their faces.
“Now go shower, you got blood all over you,” Lisa says with a laugh, Chan laughing along and they both get out with no need for more words, walking into the giant house in comfortable silence. They part ways along the way, Chan making his way to the Strays’ room. He sees Hyunjin and Felix sitting on the couch together, nursing each others’ cuts, concentration etched on their faces. He smiles a little, knowing that the two were fully capable of tending to their own, but choosing to aid the other’s, their feelings for each other clear as day to quite literally everyone else but them.
He barely notices Jeongin in the corner of the room, torso bare as his gaze is on his reflection in the body mirror that rests against the wall. His trembling hands wiping his stained skin with a damp cloth, trying to avoid contact with his gunshot wound. Chan could see the way the blonde’s hand shook, how tears dripped onto the hardwood floor beneath him, his breath shaky. He remembered how he had reacted the first time he had gotten shot, his body barely functioning due to the shocked state of his mind, and he knew that Jeongin was no different, clearly still processing the fact that he had gotten shot and actually survived.
Chan makes his way over to the younger, and with a gentle hand he takes the damp cloth from him, getting on his knees for a better angle as he gently swipes at the drying blood, his free hand holding onto Jeongin’s clean one. They’re quiet like this, save for the soft whimpering gasps that the younger lets out as he tried to hold back his tears. He fails, cheeks drenched with wetness as he sobbed freely.
“In-ah, you’re okay,” Chan coos, rubbing the pad of his thumb against the back of Jeongin’s hand. “Hyung’s here, he’s got you.”
Jeongin collapses, legs buckling under him as he falls knee-first to the ground, but Chan catches him with ease, careful not to jostle the stitches so much. He holds Jeongin close to him, shushing softly and rocking them both back and forth.
“I was so scared,” the blonde whimpered in between sobs, and Chan’s heart breaks at the sounds, wishing that it had been him instead of Jeongin. His hand threads through Jeongin’s messy blonde locks, lips pressing softly against his temple.
“You’re human,” he says, remembering Lisa’s words from earlier, “you’re expected to feel certain things and respond certain ways. Just because you’re a part of the biggest gang doesn’t mean that you’re some emotionless robot, you’re human, Jeonginah. You got shot for the first time, it’s understandable that you were scared at that moment. I was too, when I first got shot. That was the first time I had ever felt fear, but not the only. I felt fear for a second time again after that.”
“When was the second time?” Jeongin’s glossy eyes are curious as he looks up at Chan, his tears becoming occasional streaks of wetness down his face as he begins to calm down.
“When you got shot,” he answers truthfully, and Jeongin cracks a small smile at that, his arms wrapping around the elder’s neck.
“Hyung was so scared when he almost lost you, Jeonginah.” It was Chan’s turn to cry now, Jeongin’s turn to hold him close. The younger just murmurs soft coos into his ear, hand threading through brown tufts of hair.
“You saved me, hyung.” Chan looks up him, a weak smile etched on his face.
“And I’d do it again.”
After that, the two grew closer during Jeongin’s recovery, the younger taking time away from gang activity to ensure that nothing would impede the process. Jeongin flat out refused the short vacation at first, even begging Taeyong, their boss, not to exclude him for the time being. But of course Chan had taken extra measures to ensure that Taeyong wouldn’t call him in for a bit, measures that neither two would disclose to Jeongin, only making him more frustrated.
Eventually he relented, and spent the next few weeks in the apartment that he and Chan shared. He was alone most of the day, alternating between playing video games in his room, to doing some coursework, to eating nearly half their pantry. And when Chan came home at the end of the day, the first thing he does is make sure that the younger’s wound was healing nicely. Jeongin was annoyed at first, but eventually became endeared as he watches Chan examine his wound with wide eyes, fussing over the slightest change in color or the faintest possibility of an infection.
Then the elder went on to cook dinner for the both of them despite Jeongin’s continuous protests that he should rest, but, as always, Chan wins, and proceeds to do what he wants.
And despite Jeongin claiming that he’s fine and recovering well, he still finds himself curling into Chan’s side at the end of the day, feeling safer and much better mentally in his arms than out of them. The elder doesn’t mind much, always taking any opportunity to cuddle the other, but he can’t help but get worried sometimes.
So one night, he decides to take the first step, even if Jeongin wasn’t willing to.
“Jeonginah, answer me honestly, please. Are you doing okay? Mentally, I mean.”
Jeongin stills at the question, avoiding Chan’s worrying gaze. He doesn’t want to answer, not at first, but when the older’s hand interlocks with his larger one, he finally utters out his response, softly but still audible enough for Chan to hear.
“Truthfully? Not right now. But because of you, I’m getting there.”
Chan smiles at that, holding the younger close to him. “I’m glad,” he says softly, threading his fingers through Jeongin’s messy locks. They lay like that for the rest of the night, in the comforts of each other’s arms, and eventually fall asleep.
And when Jeongin jolts awake in the middle of the night from a nightmare, Chan’s instantly there to comfort him, lulling him back to sleep.
And before he lets sleep pull his eyes close one more time, Chan presses a kiss to Jeongin’s temple, mumbling in his ear before falling asleep.
“I’ll always be here.”