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Yuletide Madness 2020
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2020-12-23
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Communication Log of Stabby the Roomba, cerca 03 April 3077 (Earth United Time)

Summary:

Communication log of Stabby the Roomba (rank, various) is elective reading for Human Studies II.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Note from instructor: Communication log of Stabby the Roomba (rank, various) is elective reading for Human Studies II.

Exert below of incident reports over the course of a Fifteen hour daily cycle on the Third Day of the Four-Twelth Month, Three-Thousand Seventy-Seven Year (Earth United Calendar, According to Greg Ordian).

Reflection recordings may be submitted to Telewave by end of reading.

Cadet Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has left his docking station. 06:00 AM - 3 Apr 3077 10 24

Cadet Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has stabbed 9 times in the last hour. 07:12 AM - 3 Apr 3077 4 12

Deck Cadet Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has stabbed 6 times in the last hour. 08:12 AM - 3 Apr 3077 6 15

Boatswain Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Morning goal eached! Stabby has stabbed 15 times in the last hour. 09:12 AM - 3 Apr 3077 11 17

Boatswain Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
@All_Crew Distress signal. Stabby is stuck in Air Lock Side B under the third floor storage return vent. 09:47 AM - 3 Apr 3077 41 68

Boatswain Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
@All_Crew Disregard. Stabby is now free. Repeat, Stabby is no longer stuck. 09:53 AM - 3 Apr 3077 23 83

Officer Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has stabbed 8 times in the last hour. 10:12 AM - 3 Apr 3077 13 19

Officer Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby's disposal bag is full. There will be no stabbing for the next 15 minutes. 10:18 AM - 3 Apr 3077 3 47

Officer Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has left his docking station. 10:33 AM - 3 Apr 3077 29 19

Officer Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has stabbed 11 times in the last hour. 11:12 AM - 3 Apr 3077 22 31

Officer Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
@All_Crew Stabby has entered the cafeteria. 12:00 PM - 3 Apr 3077 87 59

Lieutenant Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has stabbed 32 times in the last hour. 12:12 PM - 3 Apr 3077 12 55

Lieutenant Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
@Maintenance Clean up requested on Aisle 12. 12:17 PM - 3 Apr 3077 23 83

Lieutenant Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has stabbed 26 times in the last hour. 01:12 PM - 3 Apr 3077 12 55

Lieutenant Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has struck a wall. 01:20 PM - 3 Apr 3077 1 3

Lieutenant Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has struck a wall. 01:21 PM - 3 Apr 3077 0 0

Lieutenant Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has struck a wall. 01:22 PM - 3 Apr 3077 0 0

Lieutenant Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Wall calibration script has been deactivated. 01:23 PM - 3 Apr 3077 51 0

Lieutenant Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has stabbed 7 times in the last hour. 02:12 PM - 3 Apr 3077 11 21

Lieutenant Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has stabbed 17 times in the last hour. 03:12 PM - 3 Apr 3077 15 19

Lieutenant Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has stabbed 11 times in the last hour. 04:12 PM - 3 Apr 3077 1 2

Lieutenant Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
@All_Crew Distress signal. Stabby has a stomach ache. Stabby cannot eat [Unknown Object]. 04:38 PM - 3 Apr 3077 42 49

Lieutenant Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
@All_Crew Distress signal. Stabby is stuck in [Location Unknown] under the [Location Unknown]. 04:39 PM - 3 Apr 3077 33 47

Lieutenant Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
@IT_Tracking Distress signal. Stabby has entered [Coordinates Unknown]. 04:42 PM - 3 Apr 3077 17 4

Lieutenant Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
@IT_Tracking This is what Stabby sees. 04:45 PM - 3 Apr 3077 19 24

Lieutenant Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has stabbed 0 times in the last hour. 05:12 PM - 3 Apr 3077 10 14

Lieutenant Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
@IT_Tracking This is what Stabby sees. 05:25 PM - 3 Apr 3077 47 61

Lieutenant Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
@All_Crew Stabby has been freed from Hallway Airlock A Side under the loose floor panels. 05:45 PM - 3 Apr 3077 10 14

Captain Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has stabbed 21 times in the last hour. 06:12 PM - 3 Apr 3077 10 14

Captain Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has reached a rank of Captain. Reminding @All_Crew to follow proper procedure. 06:13 PM - 3 Apr 3077 42 53

Captain Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
@Communications 1 crew persons(s) have not saluted Stabby in the last half hour. 06:20 PM - 3 Apr 3077 1 4

Captain Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
@Communications Stabby has entered the main deck. 06:35 PM - 3 Apr 3077 20 22

Captain Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
@Communications 4 crewperson(s) have not saluted Stabby in the last half hour. 06:50 PM - 3 Apr 3077 14 7

Captain Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has stabbed 9 times in the last hour. 07:12 PM - 3 Apr 3077 19 24

Captain Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
@Communications 3 crewperson(s) have not saluted Stabby in the last half hour. 07:20 PM - 3 Apr 3077 7 14

Captain Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has stabbed 5 times in the last hour. 08:12 PM - 3 Apr 3077 9 12

Captain Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
@Communications 1 crewperson(s) have not saluted Stabby in the last half hour. 08:20 PM - 3 Apr 3077 7 14

Captain Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
@Communications 3 crewperson(s) have not saluted Stabby in the last half hour. 08:50 PM - 3 Apr 3077 9 11

Captain Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
@All_Crew Stabby is headed toward the docking station. 08:52 PM - 3 Apr 3077 19 24

Cadet Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby has returned to title Cadet for more stabbing tomorrow. 08:54 PM - 3 Apr 3077 12 27

Cadet Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
Stabby reached 1 goal today: 20 stabs before breakfast. 08:55 PM - 3 Apr 3077 19 24

Cadet Stabbington
@stabbymcstabster
@All_Crew Stabby is powering down to recharge. Good night. 09:00 PM - 3 Apr 3077 57 65

 

Notes:

Twitter skin credit to: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15664164 and https://archiveofourown.org/works/15664164

Emoji credit to: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6580324/chapters/15055576

Letter skin credit to: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/smskins/works/11549178

History of Stabby: https://fanlore.org/wiki/Stabby_the_Space_Roomba