Chapter Text
Gil woke up. It was a surprising thing, he’d been pretty sure he was dead. He had a vague memory of Tarvek holding him. Gil tried to focus on the memory, but was distracted by the warm grip on his hand. His first thought was that Tarvek was still there, still holding his hand, but as soon as Gil thought it he knew it was wrong. The hand holding his was large and rough. Now that Gil was focusing he realised it was two hands wrapped around one of his. If it wasn’t Tarvek though, Gil couldn’t think of who it could possibly be.
It was curiosity that convinced Gil to open his eyes. As he slowly became more aware, he was also aware of the dull ache in his entire body. Opening his eyes would be a commitment to being awake, and if Gil committed there wouldn’t be anymore drifting into painless unconsciousness again. Still, Gil was shocked enough at being alive, and curious enough about who had a death grip on his hand that he did commit to consciousness.
When Gil opened his eyes he reevaluated his original assumption that he was still alive. It seemed impossible that the image before Gil existed in reality. Because the hands wrapped firmly around his own belonged to his father. The Baron himself had both his hands wrapped around one of Gil’s and pressed to his forehead. The tyrannical ruler of Europa was bent over Gil’s body in a posture that made it look as if he was praying. He might even have been praying as Gil gaped it seemed his father’s lips were moving slightly as if he were mumbling something to himself.
“Father?” Gil asked his voice a dry and raspy croak, far quieter than Gil had intended it to be.
Still the Baron heard it and his head shot up at once. He stared in shock for a moment then his hands squeezed Gil’s tightly and he was immediately on his feet. The Baron was then leaning over Gil's face one large rough hand sliding across Gil’s cheek in something almost like a caress before the Baron was pressing his fingers against Gil’s neck to check his pulse. Never mind the series of machines hooked up to Gil that could’ve provided him with far more accurate information.
“How are you feeling?” the Baron asked.
“Sore.” Gil answered, attempting to wet his lips, but there was no saliva in his mouth to wet them with, “Water?”
The Baron scrambled to fetch him water from the sideboard. Gil stared after him confused. HIs father appeared worried, anxious even. It occured to Gil as his father rushed back over with a too full glass of water, that his father cared about his well being. Perhaps even beyond simply protecting his investment. Gil drank his water while watching his father hover over him. The Baron made it look as if he were simply examining the machines hooked up to Gil, but Gil could tell his father was really watching him out of the corner of his eye.
“What happened?” Gil asked when his throat no longer felt like the Sahara.
“That is something I would like to ask you.” his father’s voice had taken on a sudden stern note that was comforting in its familiarity, “Captain Dupree’s report was less than enlightening.”
“Bang?” Gil asked, confused he certainly didn't remember her being there.
Gil thought hard and remembered more, remembered Tarvek desperately pressing a counteragent to Gil’s mouth every few minutes. Tarvek pressing GIl’s hand to his mouth begging him to hold on. Remembered Tarvek leaning close, whispering a secret. Gil stopped remembering, suddenly worried that just thinking the words would be enough for his father to learn them. Gil knew his father hadn’t yet mastered the art of mind reading, but still he cast the thought aside quickly.
“Yes,” the Baron said, “She arrived just at the last minute to save you from your own foolishness.”
Gil winced. It had been foolish, they should’ve had a plan. He couldn’t believe Tarvek had let them just run in like that. He was supposed to be the clever sneaky one. Except of course Tarvek hadn’t quite been thinking straight, too busy reeling from Gil’s revelation. Too distracted by the sword dangling over his neck. And amazingly somehow too trusting of Gil.
“Oh.” Gil said, “I don’t remember that.”
The Baron sighed deep and heavy. He looked suddenly exhausted.
“You nearly died.” The Baron said his voice quiet and for the first time in Gil’s life it shook.
Gil swallowed hard, suddenly feeling a sob rise up in his throat. He didn’t dare cry though, not in this moment. It felt somehow too delicate. Then the Baron was raing his head and setting his shoulders he rounded on Gil suddenly the fearsome tyrant again.
“NEVER. Do anything like that again. Do you understand?”
Gil blinked. He’d suspected when he woke up that his father might care, but now he was certain. The anger and fury his father usually reserved for massacres was suddenly welling up in him because Gil had nearly died. HIs father loved him, well and truly loved him. It was a revelation. Gil could only gape up at his father, and blink back tears.
“I’m sorry.” Gil said, but his voice wavered.
The Baron deflated immediately. Sinking back into the chair that had been pulled up next to Gil’s bedside. That was more upsetting than anything else and it took a huge amount of will for Gil to swallow back the emotions that were welling up. There was something terrible about watching the fight drain out of his father. Especially knowing that Gil had caused it.
“Gilgamesh.” the Baron said eventually, “I-” He sighed and began again, “Gilgamesh, you must know-”
Whatever his father was going to to say Gil didn’t find out, because the door to the tiny room they were in opened. Boris stood in the doorway blinking at them, then he smiled.
“Ah good you’re awake.” Boris said to Gil then spun on the Baron, “See he’s fine, will you get some sleep now?”
The Baron glared at Boris for the suggestion. Gil stared at his father. He hadn’t slept. Gil swallowed hard. The Baron for his part gave Gil a long assessing loo then sighed.
“Stay in bed.” he said pointing at Gilgamesh then rose from his chair and moved past Boris into the hall.
Boris watched him go and turned back to Gil, “He’s been in here science Captain Dupree brought you back from Paris almost completely paralyzed.”
Gil blinked at Boris desperatly fighting back tears. Boris noticed because he determinedly stared at the wall above Gil's head. Gil appreciated Boris’s refusal to acknowledge that Gil was feeling felings. Gil thinks if anyone so much as poked him he would shatter like glass.
“Do you need anything, sir?” Boris said.
“Could I speak to Bang?” Gil asked.
He had to figure out what happened, and get his story straight. A lot of things had happened that Gil would rather not explain to his father. Like the fact that now that the Baron wasn’t in the immediate vicinity Gil couldn’t stop thinking about kissing Tarvek. The Baron had disapproved of Tarvek, when they'd just been friends. Who knew what he’d do if he figured out that there was now kissing. At least Gil hoped the kissing would be a reoccurring thing, if he remembered those paralyzed minutes correctly it probably would be. GIl’s brain shied away from the l-word though. Kissing was okay, friendship was okay but feelings were terrifying. Tarvek and feelings were somehow worse.
Thankfully, Bang appeared before Gil’s brain could start spiraling into worst case scenarios. He had a tendency to do that when left to his own devices. Bang though burst into the room like a hurricane. She bounced onto Gil’s bed jolting him and proceeded to poke him in all the places that hurt the most.
“Bang! Stop!” Gil said, trying to shove her off, but his arms were still weak.
“Oh, you can move now. Great!” Bang said and went back to poking.
“BAng!” Gil said annoyed, “I need to know what you told father.”
“OH!” said Bang with an exaggerated wink, “You want to know if I ratted out you and Prince squealy.” Bang made kissy noises, and Gil shoved at her face, “Of course not. Klaus gets all growly and weird where Prince Squealy is involved, which is annoying because he’s fun. And I don’t want to lose my favorite toy just because Klaus went all Daddy knows best on him.” Bang explained, “Plus I haven't had a chance to tell him how pretty he looked in that dress.”
Gil was pretty sure Bang didn’t actually think there was anything inherently humorous or wrong in crossdressing. But she probably knew that everyone else did, and that Tarvek cared about society's opinions on things. Gil could see the affronted look on Tarvek’s face at Bang making a casual comment about him looking pretty in a dress. Even if he had looked pretty especially once the wig had been torn off, and the weird face changing makeup all smeared.
Gil wondered if Tarvek would appreciate it if Gil told him he looked pretty. Probably not, he’d probably assume Gil was mocking him like he did everytime Gil tried to compliment him. It was possible Gil was just really bad at compliments. He’d gotten enough drinks dumped over his head in response to them that he had the idea that what he considered a complement and what everyone else thought was a complement were not the same thing. There was even less chance that Tarvek would appreciate a dress as a present. Even one that was just meant to replace the one Gil had caused to be ruined.
Bang noticed that Gil wasn’t listening to her anymore and jabbed him in a particularly painful spot. Gil let out an exaggerated yel and bent himself protectively around the spot so Bang would feel properly appreciated.
“I was saying, you were very lucky I showed up, you were almost dead.” Bang leaned in very close to Gil’s face, “and you are NOT allowed to die until I’ve found a way to set you on fire.”
Gil let out a gasping wheeze, “understood.”
“Good,” Bang said, “Now I’m going to go find something to kill.”
Then she flounced out of the room. Gil did notice the knife she’d helpfully slipped under his pillow and he appreciated the thought. Bang’s poking had reminded Gil of the fact that he was actually very injured and his plans to sneak out of bed were temporarily put on hold. He should at least wait until he was sure he wouldn’t get caught immediatly before he snuck out of bed. Plus, Gil was already feeling really tired. So, he curled one hand around the handle of the knife and the other around his blankets and went back to sleep.
***
Bizarrely, following his doctor’s order seemed to make Gil heal faster. Which was strange and not at all an experiment he planned on repeating. It took him about two weeks after gaining consciousness to be fully cleared by the doctor. HIs father spends an absurd amount of time conducting the affairs of the empire from Gil’s bedside. Gil wants to point out if they’re still trying to keep Gil’s identity a secret this was a very bad way to go about doing it. The Baron’s constant presence at Gil’s bedside ensured he didn’t sneak out of bed, which was the only reason he ended up properly following his doctor’s orders.
When Gil was finally released from the small room, he was feeling incredibly better. Almost perfectly healthy even, as if he hadn’t nearly died from a very strong paralytic agent. Released from the watchful gaze of his father Gil wandered the halls of the Castle. He was planning on stopping in his secret lab, Zoing at least had probably missed him, but instead he found his feet had led him to the school. None of his friends had replied to his letters, they must not have really liked him after all. Still, it was the most familiar part of the castle to him.
Gil was about to turn around and find a different part of the castle to wander around idly when someone caught sight of him. The flash of red hair was a dead give away of who it was. Gil was rooted effectively to the ground by a cry of,
“Gil!”
Gil didn’t turn back around instead frozen stock still. He should probably run. He didn’t know what Slepnier could possibly want from him, but he did recognize the fury in her voice. Sleipnir angry was good enough reason to run even when that anger wasn’t directed in his direction. He shouldn’t though not look at her, that would probably only make her angrier. Reluctantly, Gil turned around stuffing his hands in his pockets.
“Hey Slepnir.” he said.
“YOU!” said Slepinir then dug a wrench out of a pocket and tossed it at his face.
Gil ducked, and came up angry himself. Because he definitely hadn’t done anything to justify a wrench being thrown at his face.
“What was that for?!” he demanded.
“You absolute bastard! You know what that was for!” Sleipnir yelled back.
Behind her a courier started peddling backwards, and he watched a pair of clerks take the first turn they came upon. Gil wouldn’t be getting any assistance then.
“No! I don’t! I can’t read minds!” Gil yelled back.
Maybe he should look into building a mind reading device. Apparently, Gil had no idea what anyone around him was thinking about at any time. He’d thought Tarvek hated him, but apparently not. If Gil had a mind reading device then he would know these things, and maybe people would stop dumping their drinks on him everytime he opened his mouth.
“Oh, but you CAN read can’t you? Or did you somehow lose the ability to do so? Are you now illiterate?” Sleipnir hollered at him tossing a screwdriver.
Gil side stepped effectively dodging the screwdriver and the ratchet that had been tossed. Gil frowned, because of course he hadn’t lost the ability to read; he had written letters lots of them, which Slepnir should know.
“YES! I CAN READ! Which you would know if you’d bothered to write!” Gil yelled back, because honestly he was feeling really attacked right now.
“I wrote!” Sleipnir yelled back, “You're the asshole who didn’t write!”
Gil opened his mouth back up to yell that he had written. Then snapped it shut. Slepnir came to the same realisation, because the anger fled from her face almost immediately.
“Oh.” said Sleipnir.
Gil bent down and picked up the tools Slepnir had tossed at him.
“Maybe we should have this conversation somewhere else.” Gil said.
“Yes,” said Sleipnir.
They didn’t talk again, Sleipnir led the way into the school where Theo looked up and opened his mouth, probably to yell at Gil too, but Slepnir made a hand gesture and Theo stayed silent. Slepnir headed back out of the school and Theo trotted after them. They silently made their way to one of the less used storage areas. Then tucked themselves neatly into the back on top of a pile of spare cloth for uniforms.
“Apparently,” Sleipnir began once they’d sat down, “Gil has been writing us.”
“Oh?” said Theo, thoughtful.
“I thought you weren’t writing me,” Gil said, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.
“Interesting,” Theo said.
Gil focused on the ends of his sleeves. They were button cuffs, he could practically hear Tarvek complaining about them. Or about the brocade on Gil’s waistcoat and how it was absolutely not appropriate for the season. Apparently, Gil wasn’t as bad at friends as he thought he was.
“So, the question is,” Slepnir said, “Who is blocking our mail.”
“The Baron,” said Gil.
“Well, he would definitely have the means” Theo said, “but the motive.”
Gil shifted uncomfortably. He wanted to tell them, but he wasn’t supposed to. And while he was mad at his father for apparently cutting him off from his friends again, he was also still reeling from the discovery that his Father cared . He understood why his Father thought Tarvek was dangerous. Tarvek was dangerous, if he’d wanted to hurt Gil he could’ve destroyed him. Plus, Tarvek was certainly no fan of the Empire, he’d hardly been quiet about it. Theo and Slepnir weren’t dangerous though. Theo’s dad had gone adventuring with the Baron and the Heterodyne Boys, and Slepnir, well technically a hostage, had more ill will for England than the Empire. They were even appropriate friends by the ridiculous standards of station and status.
“Who else?” Gil said instead of explaining.
Theo hummed, thinking. Sleipnir shifted.
“None of us are important enough to cut off from each other.” Sleipnir said.
Gil tried not to look guilty.
“Maybe we’re looking at this wrong.” Theo said with that sharp look in his eyes that was
far too familiar, “Maybe we should be asking how. ”
Gil bit his lip, “Maybe it isn’t about us, maybe someone’s trying to infiltrate the mail
system and we’re caught in the middle.”
“Yeah, but why hasn’t anyone else’s mail gone missing?” Sleipnir asked.
“Because,” Gil said as he started putting pieces together, “that would be suspicious. But
when we weren’t getting our letters we just assumed it was because the other person hadn’t sent any. We didn’t report it. Maybe the first time, we we’re just part of a test, or practice. When we didn’t report anything and no one noticed the loss…. Well, there was very little risk in doing it again.”
“Maybe they were trying to figure out how long it would take for someone to report it,” Theo said.
“Exactly,” said Gil, “Except I stopped writing.”
“Me too,” Sleipnir said and Theo nodded.
“So, what do we do?” Theo asked.
Both Sleipnir and Theo turned to look at Gil. Gil had been the leader of their little group from the beginning. He was at first the only spark, he’d broken through very early, then the strongest. Even when he wasn’t trying to lead he ended up doing it anyways.
“We start writing again.” Gil said, “Once I convince the Baron to let me go back to Paris of course.”
“Yeah, why are you back early?” Slepnir asked.
She was slouching into Gil’s side. Gil resisted the urge to lean right back into the touch. He had missed them. He had missed the casual touches and friendliness, but he didn’t want to admit that. That he was so lonely and desperate without them, about how much thinking they didn’t care had hurt.
“I uh may have gotten paralyzed, and then almost died.” Gil admitted.
“WHAT?”
Eventually, the two of them managed to drag the story out of him. The whole story. Including the bit with Tarvek and the crossdressing and the kissing. Even the bit with the l-word which he hadn’t been able to say, but Theo had figured out anyways. It felt a little like a betrayal of Tarvek’s trust, but Gil had to tell someone. It felt good to lay out the tangle of his feelings about Tarvek for someone else’s perusal. Even if it just resulted in Sleipnir making cooing noises at him.
“Alright, so what you need to do is obvious.” Theo said, once Gil had finished and confessed how he had no idea what to say to Tarvek when he saw him again.
“It is?” Gil asked, because he had no idea, he’d just said that.
“You need to go and sweep your prince off his feet.” Slepnir said patting Gil on the head.
“How?” Gil asked.
“Well, you don’t really have to do much, he’s already in love with you. You just have to convince him you're in love with him.” Theo explained.
“Am i?” Gil asked.
Slepnir and Theo exchanged a Look. Gil crossed his arms and slumped back against the pile of cloth. This is what he got for sharing his feelings. They were making fun of him.
“Maybe love’s a little strong,” Slepnir suggested in a soft tone like Gil was a stray cat that might bolt at any sudden movements.
“But you do like him, and want to kiss him and other stuff.” Theo added.
Gil hadn’t thought much about other stuff, but he wasn’t exactly opposed. He could feel his face burning at the suggestion.
“And you like his personality,” Slepnir continued, “you just don’t want to kiss him, you want to be his friend.”
“Well, yeah. I mean why would I want to, do you know, kissing and stuff if I didn’t like him.” Gil said petulantly.
Slepnir and Theo shared another look.
“Maybe you wouldn’t but other people sometimes just want the kissing and they don’t much care about the person they're doing it with.”
“Why?” Gil asked.
Slepnir patted his head again, “It doesn’t matter, because clearly your boy likes your personality too.”
Did he? Tarvek had never acted like he liked Gil’s personality, he was always insulting Gil. Then again he was always insulting the parts of Gil that were fake. The drunkenness and the flirting with other people and the not caring about politics. He did insult Gil’s heroics, but mostly in the fact that they put Gil in danger. And wow, a lot of Gil’s interactions with Tarvek were suddenly recontextualized in interesting ways. If he didn’t assume Tarvek hated him, then well, then maybe when Tarvek got all offended and shout-y it was because he didn’t want Gil to notice that he cared. Tarvek had always gotten more indignant the less clothing Gil was wearing, or the more dangerous the situation was.
Slepnir patted Gil’s head again.
“Take your time, you don’t have to figure everything out immediately. You can do the kissing stuff and then figure out how you feel. Just be honest with him.”
Gil laughed a little. Honest and Tarvek were not words that belonged in the same sentence. Still, he was feeling a little better about everything after having talked about it. but he’d hit his limit.
“Alright. Enough about me. What have you guys been getting up to?”
Theo and Sleipnir’s smiles took on a familiar bright glow and they burst into sound. Eventually they manage to decide who can tell what story, but they keep interrupting each other because they’re not telling the story right. Gil settles between the two of them and lets the comforting familiarity of friendship wrap around him. He had missed this, and apparently they’d missed him too. So, that was nice. Gil was getting a lot of nice surprises lately. People cared about him, and it was... It was nice.