Chapter Text
“And you’re sure he’s offline? You’ve double-checked his schedule?”
Lister rolled his eyes. “Yes, dear.”
“Are you absolutely, positively sure?”
“I triple-checked it! Three smegging times! Happy?”
Rimmer was happy enough to lead Lister by the hand into the exam room. He glanced one final time at the screen; it was still blank. Good. He let out the breath he’d been holding and settled into the soft chair.
“Now, if I press this,” Lister’s muffled voice was saying from behind him, “it should…yeah, there you go.” He walked around to the front and straddled Rimmer, who was now almost flat on his back. “Comfy?”
“Mmm.” Rimmer immediately wrapped his arms tight around Lister and ground his hips up as they kissed. Frankly, waiting for the medi-bot’s downtime so they could play here had been torture. It had been quite awhile since he’d had a nice, long -
“Hello there. Here for your filling?”
The sinister voice froze them both in place.
“This won’t hurt a bit.” Whirrrr. “Open wide and say aaaaaa…”
-
Rimmer rounded on Lister, still out of simulated breath from their sprint. “You said you’d triple-checked!”
“I…did…” Lister gasped.
“Then why - why?”
“Hey, monkeys!” The Cat slid elegantly into view. “What are you doing here? This is my appointment! One hour for treatment, another hour for whitening and polishing!”
“What about his downtime?”
“What downtime? He’s on from now till ten! Yowww!”
“No, that’s when he’s supposed to - oh, smeg.” Lister put his face in his hands.
“What?”
“They’re different,” he groaned. “The denti-bot and the medi-bot. They’re not the same person. Machine. Whatever.”
Rimmer groaned too as the implications dawned on him. “That probably means…”
“One of them is always awake.”
Cat poked his head out of the medi-bay. “Hey, bud, I forgot to say. The unzipped trousers look? Never fashionable on anybody, ever.”