1 - 20 of 572 Works in The Cat (Red Dwarf)
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The ship was too big, too empty and quiet.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 130
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 1
- Hits:
- 7
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Summary
In which Cat learns what a bauble is, Lister develops a sore finger, Rimmer becomes uncharacteristically christmassy, and the boys from the dwarf have the age-old annual Christmas argument of whether or not Die Hard counts as a Christmas film...
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Although Rimmer sent out wedding invitations he didn't actually expect anyone to attend...
“You forgot to RSVP.” He stutters, gawping at Kristine Kochanski.
Series
- Part 6 of Moonlight Marriage
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A Bar by Redtheseer
Fandoms: Red Dwarf (UK TV), Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Back to the Future (Movies), The Addams Family (Movies - Sonnenfeld), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, X-Men - All Media Types, Rick and Morty, Community (TV), Futurama, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Blade Runner (Movies), Game of Thrones (TV), Puss in Boots (DreamWorks Movies), Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon), The Matrix (Movies), Hancock (2008), I Robot (2004), Interview with the Vampire (TV 2022), Avatar: The Last Airbender (Cartoon 2005), Shrek (Movies), World Wrestling Entertainment
25 Nov 2025
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Summary
At the edge of creation lies a bar that shouldn’t exist—one doorway for every universe, one rule for every patron, and one quiet promise:
you arrive when you need to, not when you want to.Heroes, villains, disasters, immortals, and idiots alike all wash up under the same lights, bound by rules older than time and a bartender who definitely isn’t paid enough.
What begins as coincidence becomes connection.
What begins as chaos becomes consequence.
And what begins as a simple drink becomes something far stranger.A character-driven multiverse story about choices, collisions, and the strange ways people find each other when the universe forces them to stop running.
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Intro
Kochanski, Teresa
Occupation: Second Flight Mechanic, (Present) Third Astronavigations Officer (Former)
Next of Kin: Kochanski, Kristine
Relation: SisterLittle Kochanski Junior is repairing a Starbug 4 when the radiation leak fries the rest of the crew, leaving her with just enough time to get inside the shuttle, and seal herself in a stasis pod. 3 million years later Dave Lister is woken up and let loose on the ship again. 3 years after that, Holly suddenly remembers about the second human life he had been supporting down in the shuttle bay.
Imagine being stuck 3 million and 3 years in the future with a half senile, geriatric, computer, a mutant feline, a cluster of light that was once a human being, and your sister's ex boyfriend. For Teresa, that nightmare has just become a reality. Oh yeah, and just before the leak, she snogged one of them and will have to live with that fact of life for the rest of hers. -
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What if....he was... (One shot smegg idea) Add more, now as chapters
I really should have been sleeping at this point, 😴
Updated, also not against people wanting to drawings. But my answer will always be no. Iif I wanted to do drawings I would but I rather have people's image what they read.
Also chapters have been updated 😀
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I first did this rewrite back in 2016, and I have only just totally redone this.
I love this Episode so I decided to rewrite the Episode with my OC in the storyline.
**Spoilers If no one has seen the Episode **
I will be updating new Chapter every 2 days
The crew encounters the terminally ill hologram Ace Rimmer, who asks Rimmer to take his place as the universe's heroic guardian. Rimmer undergoes training to become the new Ace, and after Ace's hologram fades away, Rimmer's death is faked by Lister so he can take on the new role without the others knowing especially Luna.
Hope you enjoy. Feel free to comment.
Yet again no Nasty, no cheeky or bitchy comments, only nice and positive
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Summary
On the surface, Rimmer masks his self-loathing with pomp, protocol, and petty superiority. But beneath the bravado, he can’t stand himself. So when he meets a woman who seems to hate everyone, he’s baffled to discover that, once they get to know each other, she hates him the least.
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Kochanski is on Starbug, after getting seperated from her Dave in the linkway. Although, instead of Lister pursuing her, he's yearning for someone he should've never let go of.
Series
- Part 2 of The Space Inbetween
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A What If? of mine that has run away with itself and is taking up too much space in my phone storage. I am so sorry in advance.
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Dave Lister has an argument with his gran and asks to stay at Arnold Rimmer’s flat for a few days.
Series
- Part 2 of New beginnings
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"Not much chance of him giving you kittens, anyway." Holly paused. "Gordon Bennet, that was inappropriate. Sorry."
"No offense, mate." Lister leant back thoughtfully. "But he's a cat. He's part of my Plan, but I'm supposed to get married and breed sheep."
"You could marry the Cat and hit two targets at once, and Arnold could be the sheep. Wait, that was inappropriate too, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, maybe. Or maybe smegging genius," Lister said. He was pretty sure he was joking. Pretty sure.
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Cloned Governor KA3-5555555 of the Blue-hat Cat colony ‘Curiosity’ is in trouble. The crops are struggling, the population is stagnant, and communication with home is at an all-time low on account of the nearby galactic GELF civil war nearing its conclusion ‘any day now’ and a government that seems more interested in self-congratulation than actually helping those posted in the outskirts of their glorious empire.
Still, short of Cloister himself showing up uninvited; he might just about turn this dustbowl around.
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Still recovering from their time impression in floor 13, the crew take a small break from their attempts to use Wildfire’s jump drive to get Kochanski home to check out a nearby terraformed planet populated by a small settlement of Cats.
Series
- Part 2 of Nanobotti Manicotti
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Summary
It's that time of year again! More vignettes based on the 31 Smegtober prompts.
Tags will be updated with each chapter.
Note: Most of what I write will be SFW, but some chapters may have dark or triggering content/implications. CW or TW will be posted in the notes of relevant chapters.
Days 1 - 5: Tie / Privacy / Bet / Contaminate / Body Swap
Days 6 - 10: Red Alert / Claustrophobic / Guilt / Nostalgia / Restraint
Days 11 - 15: Fantasies / T-shirt / In the Dark / Holidays / What if...?
Days 16 - 20: Fever / Tease / Comfort / Morning / Planet Leave
Days 21 - 25: Fear / Self-care / Ultimatum / Drunk / Hidden Talent
Dys 26 - 31:Secrets / Combats / Scars / Space Corps / Home / HungryChallenge deemed completed at 25/31 prompts. Hope you enjoyed!
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When Rimmer finally finds out what those scars on Lister's chest are all about, he's suprised to say the least. When it also turns out that his views on masculinity aren't exactly common, it's time for a crisis!
Written for Smegtober 2025 Day 28: Scars
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,658
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 9
- Hits:
- 32
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Summary
Rimmer makes wedding invitations. Kryten and the Cat assume they're fake.
Series
- Part 2 of Moonlight Marriage
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Summary
In which tea is drunk, the speed of light is broken, and the last two human beings left in the universe somehow manage not to kill each other.
Series
- Part 2 of Take a Deep Breath, Pick Yourself Up..
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31 one-shots! one for each day of Smegtober (Credits to @strange-and-off-putting and @a-literal-toaster-wtf on Tumblr for the list and ideas)
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'He was moping again.
Bumming about the ship in a less peppy manner than usual, humming sappy love ballads and staring longingly into deep space. At times like this Listers motivation to do anything for himself, having already nosedived off a cliff following the extinction of the human race, seemed to sink below sea level. If Rimmer didn’t intervene soon, he’d start bothering Lennon and McCartney with digestives and flirting with the vending machines.'OR, Rimmer trying to get Dave out of a depressive episode, set around series 10. Since returning from being Ace he has realised that he is a repressed homosexual but is yet to figure out how to stop being a repressed homosexual.
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Tags
Summary
I first did this rewrite back in 2016, and I have only just totally redone this.
I love this Episode so I decided to rewrite the Episode with my OC in the storyline.
**Spoilers If no one has seen the Episode **
I will be updating new Chapter every 2 days
The Red Dwarf crew encounter Ace Rimmer, a parallel-universe version of their own Arnold Rimmer who is brave, popular, and heroic. Ace pilots a dimension-jumping prototype craft and arrives on Red Dwarf by accident after the two ships collide. While Lister and Cat easily befriend Ace along with his instant liking for Luna.
Rimmer develops a strong dislike for him, viewing him as a smug, perfect version of himself that represents all the opportunities and qualities he lacks along with a strong feeling of total jealous towards him with Ace flirting with Luna.
Hope you enjoy. Feel free to comment.
Yet again no Nasty, no cheeky or bitchy comments, only nice and positive
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,256
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Hits:
- 43