Work Text:
For a few moments, Twenty-two was like a meteor, rocketing down towards the big blue sphere below through a blanket of stars. It was a breathtaking view, and one she might not ever get to see again. And yet, all she could focus on was how empty her hand felt after Joe had let go.
This was a lot scarier without a guiding voice over her shoulder. But she held fast, taking deep breaths to calm herself. And she didn’t even need to breathe. She could do this. Just another minute of freefalling, and then she’d settle into some new body, ready to finally give life a shot. Just a little longer…
Or at least, that’s what she’d expected.
She’d finally relaxed enough to try and pull off some loops in midair when all of a sudden, it was like reality split open into a black hole ahead of her. She yelped, thrown off guard as the dark void consumed her and gravity took hold again.
Fwump. She fell flat on her face, flat as a pancake. Thank goodness she still couldn’t feel pain.
After a moment, she reached up to peel herself off the floor. “Hnnnngh… GAH!” She pulled free with a pop. Dazed, she took a look around, wondering where she’d ended up. Because this definitely was not Earth.
She shivered. Darkness, as far as the eye could see. And yet, while it was a bit eerie, there was some comfort in it. Little lampposts dotted the area, giving it a healthy glow. Other unborn souls were here, laughing and playing just as they’d been up above. There were still hills and buildings made of shadow, but they almost seemed like neon signs with the way their outlines glowed to accentuate them.
Her mind jumped to the worst case scenario. “Please, please tell me I’m not already in Hell. I haven’t even lived yet!” she pleaded to no one in particular. “Come on! Anyone could make Mother Teresa cry!”
Just when she’d thought she’d had enough surprises for the day, a figure suddenly sprouted from the ground in front of her and made her fall back with a scream. There were caretakers here, too, apparently. This one was green, distinct against the black background, a bit hunched over with a longer face and longer ‘hair’.
“Welcome!” he greeted warmly, as if he hadn’t given her a panic attack. “My name is Larry. You know… L-arry. As in L for Limbo. But not the little game with the sideways stick and the bending…” He cleared his throat. “Ahem. I mean, that is an activity we provide here to pass the time should you so desire…”
…What the heck was this abstract concept of the universe rambling about? “Hold up, hoooold up.” Twenty-two gestured wildly around the area. “What is all THIS?”
“This?” Larry held up a hand, spreading it wide over the blackened plains. “This is Limbo, sometimes called the In-Between. A waiting room of sorts for unborn souls when the number of births is outpaced by the flow of new spirits. Here in this cosmic pocket, you’ll find plenty of pleasantries to help you bide your time until there’s an opening on the planet below.”
Twenty-two glared. “Alright, buddy, you talk way too much. Can I get the footnotes?”
“Very well. You’re stuck here until enough babies are born to fit you in. Sorry!”
Her jaw dropped. Like, actually dropped and hit the floor. “You’re… you’re kidding, right?” she mumbled, reeling her mouth back in.
“I’m afraid not, young one. But oh, it’s not so bad here! All the activities you had up there are still available! And even more! We realize the wait is inconvenient, so we worked to upgrade our repertoire a little. We have movies!” he squealed, shaking his arms with glee.
But Twenty-two wasn’t having it. “Forget the movies! How long’s the wait?”
Larry sighed. He liked movies. “Let me think… approximately 256 births per minute, 4.3 per second, with anywhere from one to ten souls descending to Earth every second as well…” He counted off on his abstract fingers. “Thirty-seven times eight, carry the two, factor in a possible population boom… I’d estimate you have about two years and three months before a body is available!”
That was… that was unacceptable. “Are you KIDDING ME?” Twenty-two shouted, wanting to scream. “I waited years and years and years to sit in another line?!
Suddenly, Larry’s hand shot out, stifling her outrage. “Hold on now. Years and years?” he repeated. “My dear, the usual estimation for a soul to arrive and find their spark is anywhere from a day to a week. …Pray tell, what is your designation?”
“Twenty-jazzin’-two!”
“Twenty-two?!” Larry gasped, body thinning as he stretched out in shock. “My word, I’d only heard stories of you! The one who ran off countless mentors with her impossible attitude?”
“Excuse me?”
“Never mind.” He seemed lost in thought a moment. Finally, he folded his hands, pointing them down towards the spirit. “Listen… you and I both know you should have been born millennia ago. I normally don’t offer this to anyone – and, to be fair, most souls who pass through here aren’t nearly as verbose. It’s refreshing, honestly.”
“Get back on track, grandpa.”
Larry snapped his fingers. “Ah, there’s that impossible attitude! Anyway. You are way off schedule. I feel I’d practically be righting a wrong if I, you know… bumped you ahead a little? And by that I mean, to the front of the line?”
Anger faded to surprise as she blinked up at him. “You can do that?”
“Certainly! No one would even notice. An extra quarter second on their queue is hardly anything to be upset about.”
Cackling with glee, Twenty-two pumped her fists, doing a victorious little dance. She didn’t even care that Larry was giving her strange looks. She was back on track to be a baby, baby! And all she had to do was say yes.
But then, an idea came to her.
“…Say, pal,” she opened up cautiously. “Is there any way you could, you know, help me end up in a certain place?”
“Well, the process is usually random chance,” Larry explained. “I’m afraid it all depends on the location of the body you end up in.”
Twenty-two’s face fell. “Buuuut, if you can push me up the queue, what’s to stop you from flinging me to a certain spot? ‘Cause there’s someone I kinda-sorta wouldn’t mind getting to hang out with.”
“It would be unprecedented.”
Her hope dimmed… but she wasn’t quitting yet. What if she could make it so she’d see Joe again? Sure, the man had no game, but he had to have a kid some day, right? She really, really hoped anyway. …Please, Joe, please have just a little game.
It was more of a gamble than she cared to admit… but she felt it was one worth taking. So she looked Larry straight in the eye. Eye things. The circles on his face. “Let me cut you a deal. I’ll wait in line, but in exchange, I get to pick where I end up! I’ll wait as long as it takes for the parents I’m hoping for.”
The entity scratched his chin. “Hmm? No one’s had such a request before. But you are an unusual little spirit. Are you quite sure, though? I haven’t offered to let someone skip since, oh… Number 53,599,817,223, the one who grew too attached to the Jerrys and didn’t leave the Great Before for decades.”
Was she sure? Sticking around in this daycare from the depths until Joe finally settled down? In truth, the thought of waiting another moment to walk and watch clouds was agony. …But if she had a little more patience, she knew she could make the experience even better. And after centuries in the Great Before, she had nothing but patience.
“Yeah,” she said with a shrug. “Yeah, yeah, I’m sure. I’ve waited this long… what’s a little longer?”