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Soobin was just a mere mortal. He could only handle so many emotions at a time, and when he felt them strongly, they threatened to consume him. It was something that he struggled with daily, managing his stress and his ever-growing feelings towards a particular member of his group. Thankfully, Yeonjun knew of said feelings and reciprocated them. While Soobin would most likely never be able to express his feelings publicly while he was an idol, he was grateful he at least had the privacy of the dorms.
Or at least, he thought he did. Living with three other boys sometimes made it a bit difficult for him and Yeonjun to find time alone, but they worked with what they had. Recently though, Soobin had felt insatiable. He wanted to be with Yeonjun constantly, holding him or kissing him or just talking to him about stupid things that didn’t matter. He felt an almost irresistible pull towards the boy, but perhaps that was what falling in love felt like.
It didn’t help that he had been re-watching their most recent performance at the Golden Disc Awards. He always watched back on performances, mostly to critique himself and see what he needed to improve, but he was finding it hard to focus on himself. Because Yeonjun…Yeonjun looked like sin. Gone was the cuteness, the adorability, the cheekiness. In their place was fierceness, sultriness, seduction. He looked like sex on two long legs, and Soobin was a weak, weak man.
The elder’s fluidity as he danced, and his facial expressions combined to make Soobin’s mouth water and stomach twist. His body felt electrified, and even though he was alone in his room, he felt embarrassed at his own reaction. His cheeks were burning, and he really hoped nobody walked in while he was in such a state. Especially not Yeonjun, because the teasing would be endless.
But as Soobin watched the video again, he couldn’t believe that Yeonjun liked him of all people he had access to. Soobin was conclusively—in his opinion—nowhere near as attractive as Yeonjun, nor as talented, so he truly didn’t understand. He was so lucky to be the one that Yeonjun chose, and though Soobin feared it was only due to proximity and ease of access, he knew it would be a mistake to take any of it for granted. Yeonjun wasn’t a sure thing, and Soobin didn’t want to let himself get too comfortable.
He wanted to appreciate what he had while he had it. And with that resolve in mind, he felt silly drooling over a video of his boyfriend when the real thing was just down the hall in his own room, probably reading comics. He closed his laptop then, puffing his cheeks out as he sat up. He ran a hand through his hair, cringing when he felt how sweaty his palms were. He took a few deep breaths to try and calm the waves of strong desire he was feeling.
As much as he didn’t want to get up and walk to Yeonjun’s room because he looked a mess, he didn’t want Beomgyu to walk in on him have a breakdown over how gorgeous and perfect and kind his boyfriend was. He swung his legs out and stood up, exhaling loudly. He was ridiculous.
It was only early evening, so when he stepped out into the hallway, he heard the sounds of Beomgyu and Hueningkai playing video games, and the light to Taehyun’s shared room with Kai was on. Soobin assumed the second youngest was there, which meant that his path to Yeonjun’s room was unobstructed. Not that the others didn’t know, Soobin just preferred not to showcase his affection in front of three sets of watching eyes.
Imagine the teasing.
He padded down the hallway to Yeonjun’s room, a gentle blue glow leaking out of the bottom of the door. The boy had strung muted LED lights all around the tops of his walls to create an almost underwater ambience as soon as one stepped inside. Soobin liked it, though it did tire his eyes out if they stayed on for too long.
It was common courtesy to knock, even though he knew he didn’t have to. He waited a few moments, listening to the sound of Yeonjun moving about, and then the door opened. Yeonjun’s eyes immediately found Soobin’s, and he smiled brightly. Soobin stared back at him, at his angelic face, his heart pumping faster in the elder’s presence. He really was so fucking beautiful.
“Do I have something on my face?” Yeonjun suddenly said, breaking Soobin’s reverie. The younger blushed, eyes automatically dropping as he shook his head. “Sorry,” he rushed, though he wasn’t sure he was that sorry. Force of habit, he supposed. Yeonjun chuckled, reaching out and taking Soobin’s hand in his. “I was just about to text you to come cuddle me, so perfect timing,” he explained, pulling Soobin in and closing the door behind him.
Soobin blushed, but smiled at Yeonjun’s cuteness, and let himself be pulled onto the bed. Yeonjun moved his laptop and—true to Soobin’s prediction—comics out of the way as he settled back in his original spot. Soobin moved next to him, chewing his lip. He was in such a weird mood, one that he was simultaneously familiar and unfamiliar with, and he wasn’t sure what he wanted.
Yeonjun seemed oblivious to the younger’s confusion, and simply started to move into Soobin’s space to cuddle like they always did.
Only Soobin stopped him, sitting up and placing a hand on Yeonjun’s shoulder. “Hyung, wait,” he said, though he didn’t know what he was going to say after. Yeonjun froze, eyes widening with worry as he stopped moving. “Is something wrong?” he asked, voice lower than normal.
Soobin blushed a little, dropping his hand from Yeonjun’s shoulder to wring it with his other hand. “I just…is it weird if I just ask to look at you for a minute?” he murmured. He felt shame for some reason, as if gawking at his super-hot boyfriend was something to be embarrassed about.
He met Yeonjun’s eyes, and though they were a bit confused, he had a gentle smile on his face, almost an amused one. “You want to just look at me? Why?” he asked, tilting his head a bit. Soobin didn’t think before he answered, he didn’t have to.
“Because you’re beautiful,” he replied, voice low. “And I enjoy looking at beautiful things.”
Yeonjun’s jaw dropped at that, and the prettiest pink colour flooded his cheeks, making him duck his head for a moment. “Jesus, Soobin,” he whispered. He lifted his head, cheeks still burning, and Soobin couldn’t help but smile a little. He moved closer, a wave of confidence washing over him, and cupped Yeonjun’s jaw. “Can I, hyung?” he asked quietly.
The elder visibly swallowed, before nodding, pressing his lips together as he continued to blush furiously. Soobin smiled a bit too, before holding his hand out. Yeonjun glanced at it briefly, before placing his hand palm down in Soobin’s. Soobin ignored how cheesy the moment was and pulled Yeonjun until he was straddling Soobin’s thighs comfortably.
Yeonjun only blushed harder, staring at Soobin intensely, waiting. Soobin exhaled slowly, locking eyes with the elder and taking every part of him in. He studied it all, the slope of his nose, the shape of his cheekbones, the reflection in his eyes. He lifted his hand and traced the boy’s jawline, feeling it quiver beneath his skin. Yeonjun’s hands rested in his lap, fingers flexing as Soobin continued to trace his features with his fingertips.
When he brushed his thumb over Yeonjun’s perfect lips, the elder pressed a kiss to the pad of his finger, pulling a small smile out of Soobin. He moved on then, dropping his hand to Yeonjun’s collarbones, eliciting a shiver from the elder as he ran both hands across to his shoulders and down his arms, appreciating his body.
While Soobin wasn’t looking into Yeonjun’s eyes, he could feel Yeonjun’s gaze burning into his forehead as he studied every part of the boy. The button-up he was wearing hung off his shoulders a bit, but Soobin wanted more. It wasn’t out of sexual desire or need—not that that was something Soobin would turn down, but for now he just wanted to see Yeonjun as he was naturally, in the least sexual sense.
His fingers hesitated as they brushed over the first button left clasped, and Soobin looked back at Yeonjun. His face hadn’t lost its flush, and his bottom lip was pulled between his teeth. Soobin didn’t verbalise his intentions, but Yeonjun understood anyway, and gave a slight nod. He must have been feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the attention—Soobin had never done something this tenderly intimate before. Now, he didn’t know how he would be able to stop.
Yeonjun’s hands moved to press into the tops of Soobin’s thighs, and Soobin inhaled slowly as he carefully unbuttoned Yeonjun’s shirt. When all the buttons were undone, he slid his hands beneath the fabric to touch Yeonjun’s bare skin, and the elder’s breath caught. Soobin’s eyes darted to meet his, and Yeonjun didn’t shy away, only held his gaze as Soobin ran his hands up and over his shoulders, pulling the shirt off in one swift move.
He let his eyes scan over every dip, crevice, and marking on Yeonjun’s skin. He willed it all to memory. His hands ghosted over the muscles of his abdomen, feeling them twitch beneath his touch. Yeonjun’s breathing was slightly uneven, Soobin’s touches no doubt affecting him.
His fingers brushed over the soft skin a few more times, before looking up at Yeonjun again. The elder’s lips were parted slightly, eyes glossy as he stared back at Soobin. He looked faded almost, as if he was high on drugs, if the drugs were Soobin’s gazes and touches. Soobin had never seen him in such a state before, but it was rather entrancing.
Yeonjun had put him in a similar state, but Soobin had never been able to get Yeonjun there before. The boy was simply too loud, extroverted, and the complete opposite of Soobin that it was difficult. But now, looking at him, he regretted not trying harder.
He picked up one of Yeonjun’s hands and brought the back of it to his lips, kissing it sweetly as he gazed at the elder. Yeonjun’s eyes flickered to Soobin’s mouth, and he twisted his hand to cup Soobin’s cheek. “Baby,” he whispered.
Soobin felt his own cheeks heat up and he reached out to press his palm flat over Yeonjun’s heart. “You’re so beautiful, hyung,” he breathed. Yeonjun’s thumb ran over Soobin’s cheek as he shook his head, leaning in a little. “You are,” he replied, barely audible. Soobin didn’t reply to that, only leaned in enough so the two could kiss.
The elder’s heart was beating rapidly against Soobin’s palm, a contrast to how gently he was kissing the younger. Soobin met his pace, sliding his hand from Yeonjun’s chest to behind his back, pushing him a little closer. Yeonjun accommodated easily, his other arm slipping around Soobin’s side to pull him forward too. The kiss deepened then, but still stayed slow, tender.
As they kissed, Soobin tried to stay as present as he could in the moment, no matter how much he just wanted to let go and let Yeonjun take over. The moment was too important for him to miss.
However, just as things were starting to shift, both boys heard their names being called. Yeonjun flinched hard, the kiss breaking as he curled into Soobin. “Hyuka, I swear to God,” he mumbled, lingering against Soobin for a second longer before sitting up and grabbing his shirt. Soobin only smiled, trying not to mourn the anticlimactic ending to their ridiculously intimate moment.
The sound of footsteps grew louder as Yeonjun pulled his shirt back on and climbed off Soobin’s lap. Soobin tried not to let his disappointment show, but Yeonjun had no inhibitions as he pouted, shoulders slumping.
Kai’s voice only grew in volume as he got closer, and Soobin couldn’t help it as he giggled at their maknae’s antics.
“Yeonjun-hyung! Soobin-hyung! We’re hungry, are you hungry?” Kai’s voice screeched right outside Yeonjun’s door. Yeonjun only sighed, giving Soobin an exasperated look as he buttoned up his shirt and stood, stomping to the door. He yanked it open and Soobin caught a glimpse of Kai’s gleeful face before the boy noticed Soobin. His face dropped and then immediately screwed up as he backed away. “Aish, gross, hyung! You could have warned me you and hyung were being all boyfriend-y together! Spare me, please,” he cried dramatically.
Soobin couldn’t see, but he assumed Yeonjun rolled his eyes before crossing his arms. “Order us our favourites, Hyuka, and come get us when it’s here, okay?” he instructed. Soobin swallowed a giggle, covering his mouth as he watched Kai’s expression shift. The boy hesitated, before nodding. “Will you be fully dressed next time?” he asked, arching a brow. Soobin actually laughed out loud at that, pressing his hand over his mouth as Yeonjun snapped his head back to give him a glare.
Kai laughed too, and Yeonjun sighed, stepping back and closing the door in Kai’s face. He spun back and crawled onto the bed, pouting. Soobin giggled, opening his arms and letting Yeonjun fall into them. “Don’t be mad at Kai, he doesn’t know any better,” he soothed. Yeonjun only grumbled, resting against Soobin’s chest, arms locked around his waist. Soobin kissed the top of his head a few times.
Yeonjun exhaled, before sitting up and pushing his hair out of his eyes. He looked at Soobin curiously, eyes narrowed.
“Hey, baby?”
Soobin blinked, blushing at the term of endearment.
“Yeah?”
Yeonjun leaned in a bit closer, pursing his lips out comically.
“I’m not complaining but…what inspired…what just happened?”
Soobin blushed harder, looking away. “Uhhh….”
Yeonjun dropped the act, smiling sweetly as he stroked Soobin’s earlobe. “I loved it, but it didn’t really seem like you,” he elaborated. Soobin hummed nervously, looking down at his hands. “I was just watching you perform and…I’m really lucky, and I wanted to take advantage of that,” he answered. His eyes widened then, head snapping up as he grabbed Yeonjun’s hand haphazardly. “Take advantage in a good way! I felt silly drooling over a video of you when you’re right down the hall.”
He squeaked after that, not meaning to have been so candid. He felt his ears turn red with embarrassment and he looked back down quickly. Yeonjun chuckled, moving forward and twisting his head so he could brush his nose against Soobin’s cheek. “You’re so cute, Soobinie,” he cooed.
Soobin groaned, pushing Yeonjun away as he leaned back. Yeonjun smiled, propping himself up with his elbow on the pillows. “What video were you watching?” he asked innocently. Soobin blinked a few times. There was no use in lying to Yeonjun, he resolved. Being teased by his boyfriend was different than being teased by his dongsaeng’s, after all.
“The GDA performance,” he replied.
He chanced a glance at Yeonjun, and the boy was smirking evilly. Soobin hated him. Okay, not true, he probably loved him, but that was beside the point. He crossed his arms, looking away petulantly. “Don’t let it go to your head,” he scoffed.
Yeonjun chuckled, a hand slithering under Soobin’s arm to press against his chest. “I did look pretty hot, didn’t I?” he said. Soobin blushed, undeniably attuned to Yeonjun’s extreme self-confidence. “I hate you,” he mumbled. Yeonjun laughed loudly, wrapping his arms around Soobin and obnoxiously nuzzling his cheek as he cooed.
“Don’t worry, baby, you were much hotter.”