Chapter Text
FADE IN:
INT./EXT. UNKNOWN - UNOWKN
A PHONE rests on a table. Suddenly the screen illuminates the surface of the table it rests on, face down. The glow creates a ring of light around it. The whole phone VIBRATES with an audible VRBBBBT .
A hand reaches out and grabs the phone, moving it away from the table.
MARCO flips it over and illuminates his face with the too bright screen of his phone in the night, squinting against the light.
MARCO
FUCK, Pisss ah. No! Help...
Marco fumbles with the phone accidentally dropping it onto his chest. He hisses in frustration before trying to pick it back up again.
CUT TO:
SCREEN. MARCO’S PHONE - NIGHT
A text is already waiting on the screen, it’s from Cassie.
CASSIE: Hey Marco, I hope I didn’t wake you.
An automated message blips at the bottom of the screen:
“Cassie is typing.” followed by oscillating ellipses(. . . )
CUT TO:
INT. MARCO’S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Marco slides the keyboard on his phone out and begins to type away.
CUT TO:
SCREEN. MARCO’S PHONE - CONTINUOUS
MARCO:
You did
MARCO:
but it aight
wuts up?
CASSIE:
Aximilli finally has a phone and I was hoping
to get him accustomed to using it.
Thoughts?
MARCO:
Well, I have, an Idea.
CUT TO:
SCREEN. UNKNOWN - LATER
A group chat application runs on screen.
Marco is typing.
Automated messages pop up in quick succession.
“Marco has added Cassie.”
“Marco has added Jakeman.”
“Marco has added Xena.”
“Marco has added Axophone.”
“Marco has added TobyHawkpr0sk8r.”
Xena has changed to Rachel.
Rachel is typing
RACHEL:
Marco call me that again and I’ll eat your skateboard.
MARCO:
I’m so scared.
RACHEL:
Try me.
MARCO:
Okay… now I’m scared.
A message pops up that reads:
“Marco has changed the group title to:’ Teenage Mutant Morphing ScrewUps ’”
JakeMan:
Classy…
Axophone:
I df nyt ynfestnh my name’
Marco:
Wanna run that 1 by me agen Axman?
Tobuscus:
. . . A human morph might be easyer
for the time being, Buddy.
Cassie:
Oh!, I didnt even think about Ax’s hands…
maybe a different
phone would have worked better…
Tobuscus:
One would think that having two thumbs on each
hand would make texting easier, but alas.
Marco:
How r u typing so fast…
Tobuscus:
Human morph. Blackberry phone.
Marco:
2 chéz
An automated message pops up at the bottom of the chat window: “Several people are typing”
INT. MARCO’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
The hand holding the phone slides the keyboard shut with a click in a fluid practiced movement.
Marco drapes his arm over his forehead phone and all. Letting out a sigh. He kicks his legs into a new position crossing them; one over the other.
His head shifts to the side. The pillow *crinkles* as he moves. He shifts slightly pulling his shirt out from under him craning his head to look over his bed.
An alarm clock on the floor has sits amid a pile of amber lit refuse, discarded food, wrappers, underwear and other junk.
The face reads 11:58’(pm) in blaring warning light red against the black of the dark of the room.
Turning back into the bed Marco sighs, choking a bit on the collar of his shirt which his hand moves to quickly loosen.
He sets his closed phone on his chest.
He runs his now free hand: palm open, fingers splayed, down his face, sputtering through his lips.
MARCO
That’s another night in the bin for the Animorphs.
(sigh)
Lucky. Fucking. Us.
He reaches for his phone.
CUT TO:
I./E. PHONE SCREEN - UNKNOWN
RACHEL
No see it’s … Ax, it’s a metaphor.
JAKEMAN
Marco please explain to your MFP what a metaphor is for the love of well… someone.
AXOPHONE
I knwo wgay s mwaathopr si IT is when you etxparlaoete byneno pandstap the para tense
...
TOBY_HAWK
I took his phone.
CASSIE
Where is Marco?
MARCO
I’m here! Sorry, sorry, bathroom
What did i miss?
JAKEMAN
You need to teach your MFP what a metafor is.
RACHEL
Please, save us.
MARCO
Wait… Tobias has his phone?
CASSIE
It has been hectic
while you were
Indisposed.
MARCO
It’s been 5… whatever Aye Aye Fearless Leader. Your Bidding is my command *bows*
TOBIAS
INCOMING
MARCO
Wait, I can’t teach him if you have his phone.
CUT TO:
INT. MARCO'S ROOM - NIGHT
* CRASH *
A loud resounding smacking sound rings through the room.
Marco leaps from bed up and across the wall to the floor.
SCCREEEEEEEECHHH
A loud scratch against the window fills the formerly quiet space.
At the window there is a very disheveled looking RED TAILED HAWK frantically scratching at the window.
Marco hurriedly dives across his room. And flings open his window.
The falcon deftly drops below the sill against the wall.
IT has two mobile phones clutched in its talons.
The Piercing SCREECH of another Bird of Prey rings through the night sky.
Marco springs into action once more. His legs seeming to bend and break beneath him as he moves. His kneecaps shifting backwards. His hair coarsening into fur.
In a blink of an eye, Marco - a half human from the waist up and half cheetah from the waist down - is standing at the window holding his bed comforter open.
A Pro Fastball of feathers spears into the comforter. The bulge punts into Marco’s stomach.
He is clearly winded as he, the comforter and the bundle of feathers tumble to the floor in a cacophony of sound.
UNKNOWN MALE
Marco? What was that noise?
The voice of an unknown older man faintly echoes from down stairs. FOOTSTEPS up the stairs sound down the hall outside Marco’s room.
MARCO
UH… NOTHING DAD! Just fell out of bed. I’m fine tho! HONEST!
The steps on the stairs stop.
The voice responds much closer than before.
MARCO’S DAD
Alright, Champ. Be more careful.
Marco sighs in relief.
His agitated Cheetah tail sweeps across the rug behind him.
MARCO
Thanks! Will do!
The steps walk down stairs growing fainter and disappear.
Everything in the room is still.
Quiet.
The phone in the RED TAILED HAWKS talon lets out a tone.
Marco uncoils and flops on the ground.
His legs begin to shift again. This time reversing the process from before.
TOBIAS: < Partial Cheetah morph. Quick thinking >
Marco’s legs finish shifting and he tears away the tattered remains of his destroyed pajamas and boxer shorts.
Tobias doesn’t flinch at the sight of his friend’s bare bottom.
Marco shakes his head in disbelief. He tosses aside the spent rags and bends down towards the duvet on the ground.
Marco
(Hissing)
You two are unbelievable.
Tobias ducks his beak beneath his wing and hops across the floor towards Marco.
Marco
You know exactly what kind of trouble I’d be in if My *DAD* saw *ME* like *THIS*
Marco gestures at his nude lower half and then at all of himself.
Tobias cocks his head to the side.
Tobias
<<Your dad has a problem with you being nude?>>
A bulge in the duvet squirms.
AX
<<No, but I do, kindly dress yourself for my sake wouldn’t you?>>
Marco shakes his head and grabs the duvet. He yanks up with both hands over his head sending a ball of feathers tumbling out onto the carpet.
MARCO
You’ve seen me naked before Ax. Man...er. Andelite up.
TOBIAS
(laughing)
<<ahaha haha ha hahaa ...>>
The Peregrine Falcon, Ax, picks himself up from the floor and begins preening his disheveled feathers.
AX
<<Silennnncee, nephew.>>
Tobias
<<You’re pulling Rank on me? You’ve got it b->>
The peregrine falcon lunges at the hobbled red tailed hawk. In a flurry of feathers both bodies tumble to the ground.
The phones skitter off in different directions.
A rubber band beams off the back of the peregrine falcon’s skull with a loud SNAP.
AX
<<OW!>>
Both birds stop squabbling. They sit panting and glaring at each other.
A second rubber band bounces off the ground between both birds. They bounce away from each other.
They turn and look towards Marco.
Marco is standing with a rubber-band rifle pointed directly at the two birds. His shirt rides up and his chest heaves.
MARCO
That is ENOUGH from BOTH of you.
He tosses the rifle onto his bed.
A rubber band snaps off. It flies across the room and pings off a pinewood derby trophy. The trophy wobbles then settles without falling.
Marco sighs and wipes his brow.
He bends down and grabs both phones off the ground. He reaches for one with one hand and then for the other.
He looks at the two phones. In one hand he holds a Blackberry(™) smart PDA cell-phone system.
In the other he holds a Motorola(™)“Flip” camera phone.
He sits down on his bed. l
Both birds flutter up to join him. Ax on his left. Tobias on his right.
Marco hands off the Blackberry to the red tailed hawk.
MARCO
Okay, now. Would you mind filling me in on the deets of what this is all about. Please?
AX
<<Tobias stole my phone. Not a very
Shorm like thing to do, I might
add.>>
Ax turns his beaked head up and away from his fellow raptor.
Marco looks to Tobias.
TOBIAS
<<He was going to embarrass himself
and also the others dared me to>>
Marco looks incredulously at his red feathered friend.
MARCO
GO turn the light on Tobias, I’ll work with Ax.
If birds could snicker, that is the sound Tobias makes.
MARCO
Har har, jam it up
your cloaca. Bird-brain.
TOBIAS
<<Speaking of which. Or… Thought
speaking of which I suppose.>>
Tobias nods his beak at Marco’s nude legs. Ax is resting his head on his bare thigh.
Marco jumps up. The force Knocks Ax over onto his side where he lands with a FLUMPH.
INT. MARCO’S BEDROOM (LIT) - MOMENTS LATER
Marco sits back down with fresh boxers in red plaid. Tobias hops back over from the light switch.
Ax is still in a puddle on the bed.
MARCO
Come on Axman. Buddy. Wake up.
AX
<<Don’t wanna… five more minutes.>>
TOBIAS
<<Before you ask, yes. That is what he’s like every morning.>>
(pause)
<<I swear, keeping this cover identity is more trouble than it’s worth sometimes.>>
Marco gently pets Tobais’s head. PAT PAT.
MARCO
Yeah, but without it, you wouldn’t have a library card to check out all that manga and new anime with so…
TOBIAS
<<You don’t get to call me out like this. Not after what I found in yo-??
MARCO
OKAY!
Marco picks up Ax’s flip phone from the bed beside him.
MARCO
Let’s see what all the fuss was about. Shall we!
Marco opens Ax’s phone.
CUT TO:
I./E. AX’S PHONE SCREEN - CONTINUOUS
It is a text app with Tobias.
SHORM
You just have to be patient, alright Ax?
AXMAN
I ma tiryng ubt eh is os ucte and I utsj wnat imh tro see htat.
SHORM
I know buddy, I know. Why don’t you focus on the other in the group chat for a bit while he’s in the bathroom.
AXMAN
Ohw do uoy knwo he is ni het bahtomr? Eh just felt whtuout saingy snythgt?
What si a mteaphor?
CUT TO:
INT. MARCO’S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
The phone is launched from Marco’s hand. He is cuffed with the full force of a Peregrine falcon wing.
MARCO
(IN PAIN)
GAHH!! WHY AX?
Ax dives to the ground. Grabs his phone. Then flies out the open window into the night.
TOBIAS
<<AX WaIT! You STILL HAVEN'T LEARNED TO TEXT>>
Both boys sit in silence.
MARCO
Wait… Ax thinks I’m cute?
Tobias looks Marco right in the eyes. Birds eye meets brown human teen.
TOBIAS
<<GOTTA GO!>>
Tobias grabs HIS phone, and follows Ax’s path out the open window.
MARCO
OH NO YOU DON’T!
Marco quickly strips off his clothes reaching into his backpack for his speedo(™) Jammers.
He hops on one foot trying to put them on quickly.
He then starts shifting as he finishes pulling the tight “trunks” up.
CUT TO:
EXT. MARCO’S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
A second Peregrine falcon flies out of Marco’s window. Shooting out into the night.
MARCO
<<YOU TWO GET BACK HERE!>>
FADE OUT:
(End Chapter 1)