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Satoru’s not sure when he starts noticing it.
It almost felt natural to have Yuuji constantly reach out for his hand. The first time it happens is when Yuuji’s trying to catch his attention (not that Yuuji needed to do anything else really considering the fact Satoru’s eyes are always chasing after his cute pink haired student), Yuuji’s fingers reaching out to touch the edges of Satoru’s sleeves like a shy maiden and Satoru’s quick to get rid of his technique just so Yuuji can touch him.
Yuuji’s warm fingers slips pass the edges of his sleeves to lightly tap Satoru’s inner wrist as he calls out, oh so lovingly in his sweet tone, “Sensei~!”
Satoru can’t help the smile that spreads across his face, answering back in a sickly sweet tone that has Megumi and Nobara making a face behind Yuuji (both of his students were probably just jealous that Yuuji’s paying attention to him rather than them). Satoru gently manoeuvres himself around so he’s standing right in front of Yuuji, watching the way the bright boy’s sunset eyes shined even brighter which effectively, in Satoru’s opinion, just brightens the room up even more.
It’s almost heartwarming knowing just how influential he is to his cute little student, almost adorable to see the way Yuuji seem to grin even bigger when his sensei’s attention is fully on him—as if it wasn’t before.
Then Satoru answers, “Yes, Yuuji-kun~?”
If Satoru’s being honest, he’s not actually listening but he does hear bits and pieces of what Yuuji’s saying. He's more focus on watching each and every part of Yuuji, more focus on how natural it is to feel Yuuji’s fingers playing with his own. Yuuji’s hands feel rougher than Satoru expected but somehow, it suits his pink haired student just fine, and Satoru can’t stop himself from clasping his hand around Yuuji’s smaller one.
The boy stopping momentarily to offer Satoru a puzzled expression, it only lasts a second before he’s back to chattering. And Satoru just watches, he watches the way his pink hair seem to tickle his forehead when he gets overly animated to the way his lip never curls down in displeasure to the way he inches closer and closer to Satoru until they’re both about to touch each other, a teasing distance between them—and much to Satoru’s disappointment, Yuuji’s pulled away by his beloved friends.
(Nobara and Megumi glaring up at him and unbeknown to them, their glares only excites Satoru even more).
Yuuji cheerfully waves at him, promising that he’ll spend some more time with him later on and Satoru has no doubts Yuuji will do as he says. After all, Yuuji’s never one to break his promises.
When Satoru gets the call from Megumi, it’s startling how much anger oozes out of his body, like he couldn’t control himself. Knowing that he let one of his promising students die before him only flares this anger.
It doesn’t help when Satoru realizes he’s become awfully attached to Yuuji.
But then again, who isn’t?
The first years probably had it worse, Megumi and Nobara both look miserable enough that Satoru realizes that he’s not the only one suffering from this all. He also doesn’t have the heart to tell them that he’s planning to let Shoko do as she pleases with the body—knowing that they would both refuse and even Satoru wants to refuse.
But he can’t refuse and the guilt eats him up.
And the only thing he can offer in place of this guilt of allowing this experiment to run is to be in the same room as Yuuji while Shoko’s performing. Ijichi's beside him, shaking and for good reasons but Satoru finds he can’t fully blame everything on Ijichi considering the fact Ijichi's bending backwards for both organizations.
Ah, Satoru really should just kill everyone. It would be a good stress reliever, they can just easily replace these old geezers anyways.
“Are you sure I can do whatever I want with this body?” Shoko asks, slipping her gloves on.
Satoru opens his mouth to correct Shoko. To correct her and tell her that this isn’t just any body, this is his student’s body, the Sukuna vessel, and all in all, Itadori Yuuji’s body. But all words die down when he sees Yuuji sitting up, looking like he just took the longest nap in his life.
The dreadful colour is long gone and is now the colour of a living being, his eyes bright as if Yuuji hadn’t greeted Satoru with dull, empty eyes when the older man came back to check on his dead student. Megumi had been standing in the corner, eyes swollen, but he was no longer crying by the time Satoru returned from his mission.
It’s all too baffling. So baffling that all Satoru can do is laugh.
“H-he’s a-alive!” Ijichi stutters out.
“Shut up, Ijichi,” Satoru says, giggling a little before he stood up, long legs moving so that he’s standing in front of his—dead, but now, definitely alive—beloved student. “Welcome back, Yuuji-kun!”
“Yo, I’m back, sensei!” Yuuji grins back, and the anger dwelling inside of Satoru dies down, burning down into a small flicker of flame. It's almost scary how fast that anger dies down. But Satoru brushes it off as nothing.
They clap their hands together (it tingles Satoru’s hand), though a portion of Satoru wants to pull Yuuji into a hug. But that reunion can be save for much later, Satoru’s just glad Yuuji’s alive.
Satoru takes his time tracing over Yuuji’s hand and when Yuuji asks what he’s doing, Satoru simply answers he’s checking for lifelines—in reality, Satoru just likes feeling Yuuji’s hands, they were no longer cold.
The white haired male decides it’s too soon to let people know Yuuji’s alive. He wants to make sure Yuuji can defend himself if Satoru’s ever too far out of reach. So he decides to let Yuuji live in his basement, not really in the basement but they do most of their training down there.
(He’s doing this for Yuuji’s wellbeing, and definitely not because he wants to keep Yuuji to himself though that doesn't sound like a bad idea).
Satoru’s in the middle of eating the hot pot made exclusively by his beloved student when he realizes just how intimate this whole thing is—which obviously should be the last thing in his mind considering the fact no one knows Yuuji’s alive.
He kind of wants to keep it that way forever. Ensure that no one will touch his beloved student, ensure that no one can kill off Yuuji, to ensure Yuuji will continue to smile happily and never have to burden himself.
“Gojo-sensei?”
Satoru looks up from staring at the meatball on his chopsticks, grinning a little at the apprehensive expression on Yuuji’s face.
“Do you mind passing the napkin, Yuuji-kun?”
Yuuji immediately reaches for the napkin, passing it towards him, his cute student’s dull fingernails dragging slowly across Satoru’s palm, it almost felt so natural that Satoru didn’t question it. And he really didn’t, how could he when Yuuji seem so satisfied by that action?
Life continues and Satoru didn’t think he’d miss Yuuji this much when he passed on the duties of watching over Yuuji to his kouhai, Nanami but now that he’s not being greeted by Yuuji’s smile every morning and evening when he comes back from his missions, everything's suddenly daunting.
It’s annoying how much he misses Yuuji’s smile and Yuuji’s endless loud chatter. Matching Satoru’s energy every step of the way and it almost felt like he’s returning back to the way he had been before.
Taking a deep breath, Satoru open the door to his house, stopping when he feels something foreign, like someone had invaded his place. It only takes him a split of a second to recognize this scent; the fresh peachy scent—
“Gojo-sensei!”
Satoru grins, all thoughts dwelling inside his head disappearing. “What brings you here, Yuuji-kun?”
As if on cue, Yuuji’s cheeks blossoms into a pretty pink and Satoru has to stop himself from pinching those cute cheeks on instinct—better yet, he should just bite them, maybe they’ll taste sweet just like Yuuji himself.
“Sensei?”
“Sorry, what did you say, Yuuji-kun?” Satoru asks, internally slapping himself for getting distracted by those chubby cheeks.
“I said I made dinner, did you eat yet?” Yuuji’s eyes grew bigger (how that was possible is a mystery to Satoru) as his warm sunset eyes darts to the bag Satoru’s carrying.
“Nope! It’s like you know me so well, Yuuji-kun! I haven’t eaten yet, is it done? Do you need any help?” Satoru asks.
Satoru doesn’t regret lying that night, not when Yuuji shot him such a pretty relief smile, almost like he’s glad he’s made dinner that night—and honestly, Satoru’s still feeling hungry after his last dinner anyways.
(Yuuji’s meals were always 1000 times more satisfying than anything Satoru’s ever tasted before).
When Satoru got the call, he didn’t really know what he’s supposed to expect. He had a vague idea that Yuuji might be sad about the situation but to actually see Yuuji—his usual sunshine—broken and slump down into a small ball is startling.
Yuuji’s not small by any means but Satoru easily towers over his small student and when Satoru steps into the building, greeting Nanami with a small curt nod, that’s all Yuuji seem to need because he perks up at the sound of Satoru’s footstep.
Satoru’s not sure what to say but he does extend his hands and immediately Yuuji clamps on to his hands—it feels cold, like Yuuji’s left his hands in a bucket of water for god knows how long. They’re holding hands in the middle of the hallway, the fresh scent of burning incense reminds Satoru of the first time he’s accompanied Yuuji to burn his grandfather’s remains.
The only thing Satoru can offer is a squeeze to Yuuji’s hand, the smaller boy still keeping his face buried in between his knees. There’s not a single sound that echoes in the hallway, not a single indication that Yuuji’s crying, but he’s probably hollowing over this dreadful event.
Satoru clears his throat, squeezing Yuuji’s hand again. “Want a hug?”
That seem to perk the pink haired boy up, his eyes still bright and slightly more shiny than usual (yes, Satoru keeps track). Satoru’s quick to prepare himself just as Yuuji jumps on him, fingers digging harshly against his uniform, wrinkling the back and possibly dampening the front with his tears and snort (and Satoru doesn’t find it as gross as he expected).
Nanami doesn’t say a single word but they’re both exchanging a conversation silently.
“Are you okay, Yuuji-kun?” Satoru asks, tone low and Nanami takes that as his cue to leave.
Yuuji doesn’t answer, in fact the tight grip on Satoru’s clothes tightens even more and the only thing Satoru can offer is a soothing rub on Yuuji’s back. His student have always been more humane than is accounted for in sorcerers.
It’s both a blessing and curse, Satoru finds.
“Sensei?”
Satoru looks up from examining Yuuji’s fingers, not once removing his hold from the sleeping boy. He offers Megumi a grin, glad that the black haired boy’s voice is quiet enough not to stir the sleeping boy on Satoru’s lap.
“Yes, Megumi-kun?”
“Don’t you think you guys are a little too close?” Megumi asks.
“Close?” Satoru repeats. Maybe they were a little closer than what a teacher and student should be but the thought of letting Yuuji slip through his fingers…well, it doesn’t sit well with Satoru. “Do you think so?”
Megumi’s green eyes darts down to the ground, “I mean we don’t really have a problem with it but—”
“—this is the shovel talk, right? I swear you kids think I’m the worst person!” Something clicks inside Satoru’s head, the older man grinning as he gently racks his fingers through Yuuji’s soft pink hair, the small boy purring in response but not once stirring enough to wake up. It’s almost adorable how safe he feels in Satoru’s presence.
Megumi’s lip pursue into a small frown and before he could response, Nobara makes her appearance, looking a little haggard but nonetheless still Nobara. She takes one look at Yuuji, then makes that ‘I’m keeping my eyes on you’ motion, and Satoru’s not an expert in body language but he’s pretty sure Nobara’s also saying that he should treat Yuuji well—and honestly, when have Satoru ever treated Yuuji bad?
If somehow Satoru did, then he’d gladly go back in time and slap himself.
“Hmmm…” Yuuji stirs on Satoru’s lap, opening his eyes to offer Satoru his usual sweet smile that’s entirely reserved for Satoru and only Satoru. “Good morning, Gojo-sensei.”
Satoru grins back at the sleepy boy, bumping Yuuji’s cute button nose lightly with his finger. “It’s evening, silly. Come on, let’s grab dinner.”
Yuuji beams, sitting up to put on his jacket, all signs of his nap long gone. Satoru can only watch his beloved student grab his hand, whining at him to hurry up.
Yeah, Satoru will slap himself if there’s an instance where he treated Yuuji shitty.
At some point, it became natural for them to hold hands. Not just clasping them together. But actually interlocking their fingers together so it’s a lot harder and a lot more difficult to release their hold on each other.
Satoru doesn’t mind it as much. It seems neither does Yuuji.
Life continues, and they never stop holding hands.
Even through Yuuji’s execution, Satoru never stops holding his hand. No matter how much they all tried to convince people that Yuuji’s not a threat to anyone and that he’s able to control Sukuna—everyone refuse to budge.
Satoru should have just killed them all off. He would have done it, had it not been for Yuuji’s soft smile, whispering gently that he’s okay, and that he’s prepared himself for this specifically. Yuuji had cradle Satoru’s hands as they prepare for the last moments.
“Gojo-sensei…” Megumi calls out, his voice sounding too watery, as if he hasn’t stopped crying and Satoru supposes that he probably hasn’t.
“It’s time to go, sensei,” Nobara adds in, hiccupping gently, the anger in her tone is visible.
“I’ll be out there soon,” Satoru replies, holding onto Yuuji’s cold hand, the blood smearing against Satoru’s expensive clothes and he finds that he could care less. He just wants Yuuji to open his eyes again but this time around, Satoru has no plans of letting anyone know that Yuuji’s alive.
He’ll keep Yuuji away.
Make sure no one would be able to trample over Yuuji’s cute smile. Make sure that no one underserving would be able to see Yuuji’s smile.
“Wake up, Yuuji-kun,” Satoru says, his blue eyes stinging a little. His hand tingle, the same hand he used to kill Yuuji, the same hand that Yuuji had cradled against his cheeks, assuring Satoru that he wanted him to do it, wanted Satoru to be the last thing he sees.
Yuuji’s lifeless body doesn’t move, his blue lip doesn’t move. The same vibrant sunset coloured eyes looking hollow and empty and Satoru can only squeeze Yuuji’s hand, hugging the lifeless body close to him. “Didn’t you promise that you would spend more time with me?”
Yuuji didn’t answer.
Of course he doesn’t.
He’s dead, and this time, it’s for good.