Chapter Text
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five
Ryuji hasn’t seen Goro Akechi in years.
He looks waayy different now. He still has that prissy, girly hair and he still speaks as if he’s looking down on everyone, but there’s some added layer ontop of all of that. He speaks softer, lighter than Ryuji’s ever heard it. his smiles are gentle almost childlike and his laughs are airy, breathless even. He looks and acts like prince.
Ryuji has to curl his fingers into his palms before he walks over and breaks his face in.
The stage lights are probably not helping. He looks almost angelic as he talks down to the audience, and even when he’s answering questions he sounds patient and kind and not at all like the kid he grew up with, who used to steal his bed and made Ryuji call him Goro ni-san for a whole year.
It’s almost ugly on how fake Goro Akechi is now. Ryuji really wants to say something, but can’t bring it to anyone’s attention. It’ll be hard to explain to Akira or Ann or anyone, that he used to know Akechi like the back of his hand and the person on the stage right there, who’s calling them criminal’s yammering on about laws and whatever, is not him, Ryuji can’t recognize him for shit. It’s easier for him to get angry, to focus on the annoyance of seeing Akechi again after years of radio silence. It’s easier to get angry on Akechi passively threaten them, saying how he’s gonna bring these ‘thieves’ to justice. It’s way easier to get angry than to focus on how much he missed him.
Akechi calls on Akira. Ryuji blanks out, wonders if he was imagining how Akechi eyes falter when they drift towards them, how it looked like he lingered a little.
He wonders if Akechi missed him too.
…
(Ryui and Akechi Goro Akechi grew up together.
He’s known Akechi for years, since they were toddling about, drawing on the park’s concrete late at night before his mum came and got them. Akechi has been by his side for every life event. Every birthday. Every children’s day. Every first crush, everything.
Akechi was there when he broke his ankle when he was five. Akechi was there when they found a stray cat and tried to lure it home with the melon bread they got for lunch. Akechi was there after the first time his dad hit him. When his cheek was bruised up and he had a split lip, and Akechi was there to put a small plaster on it and hug him and cried with him, all by themselves at the park near where they lived, holding on until one of their parents called them home.
Akechi was there for everything. Until one day he wasn’t. Ryuji hated him so much for that. Hated that Akechi just left him by himself one day, like he didn’t even care.
It makes it worse that he knows that he isn’t the only one hurting.
His ma and Akechi’s mum (Aoi-san, but Ryui doesn’t know if he should still call her that) have known each other since his ma’s delinquent high school days, separating for couple of years before bumping into each other in the same apartment block, tired with shitty lives and small kids and rekindled their timid friendship.
He doesn’t remember much about Akechi-san. She was pretty, but she always looked sad whenever he came over. Her face was always sunken into, she was mainly skin, and bones and she hardly ever said anything to him. She only really spoke to Akechi and his ma, which Ryuji could get behind because he never knew what to say to the lady who looked like she was going to topple over, who would sometimes spend ages in bed decaying instead of feeding herself or her son.
His father used to call her lazy. Used to yell at his mum, calling her pathetic to cling on to an ever dying friendship, to run to help a bitch of a women who doesn’t know how to help herself. Ryuji firmly believes now that his father is a bastard, so it’s easy to disregard his words as nothing but bullshit, but he doesn’t know much about Akechi-san, doesn’t know what to think of her.
He kinda hates her a little for leaving without saying shit, for leaving his ma all alone, upset with a douchebag for a husband and a reckless kid.
But he hates Akechi even more, ‘cause Akechi-san didn’t have any obligation towards him or his ma, but ‘kechi was his best friend, and the fact that he just one day up and left just before Ryuji turned eight, without even goodbye makes him wanna break something and scream all over again. Just like he did when he realised Goro was gone.
He hates him. He does. But-
But.
)
…
(“why does everyone I love always end up leaving me?”)
…
When he sees Akechi again, summer’s is in full bloom. Ryuji has to bite his lip throughout the whole conservation about Medjed (it’s not like anyone here would like to listen on his opinion, huh) and even when the topic shifts to Makoto and her sister, Ryuji barley pays attention to what he’s spouting out, juts knows that his tone Is hostile and defensive just like he feels all over.
Akechi is barley paying attention to him. He’s probably only looked at Ryuji once throughout this whole time, and at first Ryuji thought it’s cause Akechi doesn’t recognise him, but after they all part ways, Akechi bumps his shoulder against his own and when Ryuji glances back, Akechi’s mask is dropped, long enough for Ryuji to see a smirk on his lips that really makes Ryuji wanna strive over and stick it to him.
Someone pokes his arm. “What’s wrong Ryuji?” Akira says, looking back at the blond in concern. It’s only then Ryuji realises that he’s stopped moving. He quickly glances back behind him, only to see that Akechi is already gone. He shakes his head. “Sorry man. Nothing’s wrong, just got lost in thought.”
He hears Morgana sniff a little, from where he’s seated in Arkia’s bag. “That doesn’t sound like you.”
“Yeah.” He mutters back, “It doesn’t, does it.” and he leaves it like that.
…
It comes to some unspeakable understanding that they’re ignoring each other. Every time him and the rest of the gang bump into Akechi and his passive shitty smile, Ryuji will look away or Akechi would mock him but wont say anything else otherwise. Akechi will say “Sakamoto-san” all ridicule like, but nothing else and Ryuji will tug on Akira’s wrist to ground himself, to stop from snapping back.
(The first time he grabbed onto Akira as they had this non-intimidating but supposed to be threatening talk with Akechi, his ex-best friend narrowed his eyes at them before turning to Yusuke and answering whatever the artist was saying. He doesn’t think anyone notices, but Ryuji is glad that he still sorta knows Akechi, can still spot the annoyance on his pretty face even though he doesn’t know why.)
When Akechi fucks up, and when they catch up on his fuck up, Ryuji all but shouts in glee. He raises his fists up in jovial victory.
“We got him right? We know he’s the black mask! We can finally stick it to him.”
Makoto hums in agreement. “You’re right.” She says, “But we should really plan on how we go about this. We should-“
“Why should we do that? Can’t we just go and find his palace and change his heart ? someone like that has got to be twisted enough-“ (Because the Goro he knew would have never left -)
“Are you an idiot?” Morgana hisses. He’s scowling up at him, tail swishing angrily on Akria’s bedroom floor. “We can’t just go into the metaverse and change his heart. He knows we’re the phantom thieves!”
Ryuji falters at that, his arm that was previously raised drops down. His face drops because honestly he completely forgot about that. Or, well. He forgot everything that wasn’t about getting his Akechi back.
“Oh” he says instead, and he tries hard to keep the dejection out of his mouth.
There’s silence and it’s awkward, until Akira clears his throat. “ It wouldn’t work anyways.” His best friend says besides him. “Didn’t Mona say that persona users can’t have palaces?”
“Yeah!” Ann says, “Yeah he did!” and Morgana fully preens at the fact that Ann remembers something that he said, “So it would be absolutely impossible to change his heart, right?” she’s looking around the room for confirmation and brightens when everyone nods.
“You’re right Lady Ann,” Morgana says dreamily, his tail now swishing slowly. “Please, ignore what Skull said. He was just being an moron.”
“Oi-“
Makoto interrupts the fight before it even starts by glaring at Ryuji and moving the conversation back on track. Ryuji feels his bristle’s rise and then fall, and he slumps down more into Akira’s bed.
He just wanted- just wanted a chance to see if that’s all it was. That these ten or so years, Akechi became twisted and bitter and all he needs to do is change Akechi from the inside out and Ryuji can have Goro back again.
Maybe it’s selfish. To want Akechi when he’s been claiming to the high heavens that Akira’s his best friend but he can’t help it. He likes Akira (and sometimes at night it’s a little harder to deny this insistent want to be closer, to stay by Akria’s side forever) but Akechi is… Akechi. For so long, Goro and his Mum was all that he had, and yeah Akira’s filling up that role now too, but he wants them both. Wants to stay by Akira and have Akechi there too. Wants them to never leave him (again in Akechi’s case), wants them by his side. Because Akira’s his present, but Akechi was his past and he really wants him (wants them both) to be his future too.
His mum always warned him about having his cake and eating it too.