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To say Jay was upset would be putting it mildly. Weeks of the others (okay, just Kai really) calling him weak and useless were finally weighing on him too much to ignore. The thin facade of unconcerned ease had fallen around him and he was crumbling. He was so caught up in his spiral he didn't even notice when his boyfriend walked in.
Zane sat down next to him and took his hand, "Jay…" His partner looked up, "It pains me to see you hurting so much."
Jay couldn't find a way to speak past the lump in his throat, but he nodded. What could he even say about it? Sorry for being so useless? A burden? Sorry for making his incredibly smart and talented boyfriend sit here while he cried?
Zane could tell what he was thinking and frowned, "Jay, I love you, you know that right?"
And there was just a slight moment of hesitation before he nodded.
"On Purpose, Jay," he said, with perhaps a little more force than necessary, "I love you on purpose."
Jay stared at Zane uncomprehendingly.
"I wasn't built to love," he started, putting a hand over his core, his heart, "Or, for this kind of love, I mean. I was built to protect those who cannot protect themselves," he glowed with a hint of pride at his purpose, "and of course that involves love. But the kind of love that involves is general, impersonal." He put a hand on Jay's shoulder, "When I met you, I- I had never met someone so worthy of being loved. You're so bright, you do everything you can to keep everyone around you happy and there's just this- energy around you. I don't have the words in my vocabulary bank to describe it or how it makes me feel." His voice softened, "I taught myself how to love so that I could fall in love with you. On purpose, Jay. Because you're worth it."
For a moment, Zane saw the tears, the way Jay was shaking, and he was worried he'd done something wrong. Then Jay pulled him into the tightest hug he'd ever felt and Zane knew it was okay.