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…”So do you see, my dear Chihiro, why it is in your best interest to have your shoes on within the next half minute or so?”
“Mmmm...no!”
Naoto sighed, squatting down to look at her three-year old and trying to condense her frustration and rising anger into just a minor eye twitch.
“Very well, let us discuss it again. You wish to accompany your father and I to the zoo, correct?”
“ Yess!” the little girl squealed, her short, shaggy hair bouncing along with her.
“And in order to travel around the zoo in a manner that would not be painful for you or your feet, one would need to wear shoes, yes?”
“Mmm...yeah!”
Naoto steepled her hands, foolishly allowing herself to get her hopes up again. “Right, excellent! We seem to have the same grasp of the situation. So you would like to go to the zoo, but in order to walk around the zoo, you need shoes so your feet do not get hurt. It would be, then, in your best interest to put your shoes on your feet in order to protect them as you walk around the zoo with your father and myself. Agreed?”
It was a lot of words, and Naoto feared she lost Chihiro again, but a toothless grin quickly formed and she nodded her head again. “Yes!”
A breakthrough! Hosanna! “ Wonderful, ” Naoto smiled, as joyous as she felt she could be in the moment.
Then there was silence and little movement, mother and daughter staring each other down less in a battle of wits and more in a war of attrition.
“...Chihiro?”
“What, mommy?”
“Your shoes. We just agreed that you need to put them on in order for you to walk around the zoo.”
“Mmmm...no!”
“ Arrgh!” Naoto groaned, her sinuses feeling like they were crashing against the walls of her face just to cause her as much pain as possible. From what deepest layer of the underworld had her sweet little girl disappeared, to be replaced with this staggeringly stubborn and infuriating oni?! An oni whom, just to dig it in, was taking immense pleasure at causing her mother pain.
“ Heehee , your face is funny, mommy!”
Naoto felt as if she was going to simply implode with the fury of ten dying suns when Kanji suddenly emerged from the kitchen. As usual, he had a yellow hoodie thrown on over some jeans, nothing too fancy, while he put on all his jewelry.
“Yo, you two almost ready?! I hear the penguins are gonna be puttin’ on a show today!” he asked with as much whimsy as the tiny child in front of him. Naoto was not amused.
“Oh I assure you , I am most ready, my love,” she started, her tongue sharp as razors, “But it would seem that there is a certain individual who seems intent on filibustering this exciting process!” She crossed her arms over her sweater vest and white blouse combo and pushed back some hair that had come loose from her dark ponytail. If it bothered Chihiro to hear her mother refer to her passive-aggressively, it was second fiddle to mining her nose for gold.
Kanji seemed to go cross-eyed behind his wire-frame glasses. “Uh, ‘s goin’ that well, huh? You always use the big words when it is…” A familiarity and sheepishness crept out in his tone that Naoto didn’t appreciate.
“I’d very much like to see you try to convince this....this Gordian Knot of a child of ours that it is in her best interest to put her shoes on!” She said, exasperated. Kanji sighed and gave her a gentle shrug as he bent his considerable frame down to his child, playing with the pink dress that he had sewn for her.
“‘Ey kiddo, why aren’t yer shoes on?” he asked.
“”Cause, um, they’re dumb!” Chihiro was nothing if not consistent, Naoto thought.
Kanji’s smile grew into a grin that could only be holding secrets. “Wooaah! Look, I ain’t tellin’ ya what to do or nothin’, but...c’mere, c’mere!” He waved a hand over so Chihiro would get closer. He whispered loud enough for both Naoto and the folks who lived in the next flat over to hear. “ Penguins like it when kids wear shoes and will do tricks for them! ”
Chihiro reacted like someone told her the meaning of life. “ What!? Uh Uh! ”
“‘S totally true! Yer ma told me that, and she’s the smartest person I know!” Naoto gave a nervous chuckle as her face turned a little red. Kanji rarely let a day go by where he didn’t brag about her to someone.
“Okay papa, I put on shoes!” the little girl squealed, running off into their apartment’s foyer to tug on her shoes. Naoto was agog; it worked that easily?!
“I-I don’t understand, I’ve been attempting to convince her for twenty minutes!” she cried, looking over to her husband in shock.
“Well, duh, Nao. Yer arguin’ with a kid . They ain’t into turbo-nerd debate and shit. Goofball,” he muttered, standing back up and plopping a wet kiss right on her forehead. Naoto quietly fumed and boiled red, annoyed that her height made her a perfect specimen for forehead kisses but loving it all the same. Kanji nailed it, too - Naoto was left at a loss for words at how foolish it was to debate a 3-year old on merits and logic, as if it would take. A bashful smile soon eclipsed her frown.
There always seemed to be so much about motherhood she was flailing to figure out, yet Kanji seemed so self assured of his parental status that she couldn’t help being a little jealous. But that was just Kanji - he’d made the seamless transition from amazing husband to amazing father. Her competitive drive was wounded, but she could ignore it for a day if it meant getting to take a rare day off to enjoy both her child and her grown-up child of a husband's beloved penguins.