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Cold.
The type of cold that settled into your bones and demanded that all you do was stay home wrapped up.
One that rendered you incapable of having the energy to do anything other than falling asleep under a mountain of blankets.
Then again, this was just about the only kind of cold I knew.
A constant chill creeping into every part of my body as I battled for something to provide me with warmth while I urged myself to stay awake.
I had tried different things I suppose.
Baths, soups, ten layers of clothing with a blanket on top…
Gonta had even knitted me a pair of mittens and scarf.
But nothing could compare to Gontas’ impossibly warm body.
I nuzzled into his chest further and heard the larger man laugh, bringing his head up to my head to stroke it lightly.
“Kiyo is cold, yes? Would they like to eat something warm?”
Grumbling a ‘No’ in response, I shut my eyes as tightly as I could and brought my hands closer to my chest.
When I was effectively curled up on top of him, Gonta resumed his stroking.
“My Kiyo is so beautiful; I love them very much.” He said while twirling a piece of my hair between his fingers. I craned my head to meet his touch, silently encouraging both his actions and words.
He brought his other hand to my back, rubbing it up and down, while the other remained in my hair.
Even through my clothes, I could feel the warmth radiating off of Gontas’ hand.
Despite being bundled in his much too large for me sweatshirt and blanket, Gontas’ body outdid it all.
Compared to me, the man was a wall. Shoulder to shoulder he was as broad as two of me and could effectively encompass my entire being within his arms.
Which, to my pleasure, he often did.
Gonta liked to tell me we were the classic cliché where one of us was always cold so the other learned to carry a jacket around.
To which my reply would be something along the lines of: “you read too many sappy stories.”
But behind my mask, I was hiding a smile and blush.
Because he was right.
It didn’t take long for my lover to realize two things about me.
I was always tired.
And I was always cold.
Gonta, the gentleman he was, would always offer me his coat.
The first time it happened was on one of our earlier dates.
We were walking through the park, Gonta excitedly explaining the characteristics and purpose of any and every bug we passed.
He had just found a caterpillar when I felt a shiver run up the entire length of my body. My eyelids felt impossibly heavy suddenly and I stared yearningly at Gontas’ arms and chest.
Wrapping my arms around myself I did my best to give Gonta an occasional sound to show I was listening.
Perhaps it was obvious, but the lighter-haired man looked at me with his head cocked to the side; caterpillar still crawling around in his hands.
He looked back to the bug with a small smile and whispered something to it before gently setting it down and standing up.
Surpassing my own height and letting his eyes meet mine as he sent me his sweet smile.
He gently slid his bug box off and began to unbutton his jacket.
I stared as he did so, eyes following his long fingers as they worked the buttons one by one.
His long eyelashes faced down as they nearly brushed the insides of his glasses, lips pulled in an easy smile.
He rolled the jacket off of himself, white button-up fully exposed as he held the jacket in a hand.
It was big.
Gonta big to be exact.
Holding it up to me, a light blush had appeared on the taller man and he held the jacket towards me with one hand as the other went to rub at his chin.
“Gonta thought Kiyo might be cold, they often shiver so I would be very happy if they wore my jacket,” He stated. “But only if they are comfortable with wearing it… of course.”
For a moment, all I could do was stare at perhaps the sweetest gesture anyone had ever done for me.
I brought a hand to the jacket, rubbing it gently.
It was warm.
And soft.
Taking it, the jacket slid out of Gontas’ grasp and into my hands.
I pushed my arms through the sleeves slowly, Gontas’ eyes following my every move.
As it settled around my shoulders, I pulled it around me tightly.
Gontas’ scent was suddenly all around me and I brought the jacket to my nose.
Even through my mask, it was unmistakable.
It smelled of ginger and literal sunshine.
Undoubtedly he had spent a lot of time outside with this on.
Studying and speaking to bugs as the sun shined onto him as the jacket soaked up the smell of nature.
The sun's warmth, the winds chill, the grasses moisture.
It was all there, along with Gontas’ smell of ginger.
I inhaled deeply and shut my eyes, for a moment, I was completely lost in it.
Gonta let out a squeak and I opened my eyes to see the large man blushing and moving his eyes between me and anywhere else.
Walking up to him, I unwound my hand from the jacket to rest on his muscled arm.
His blush deepening while his lips shut together nervously.
“Thank you Gonta, I appreciate this very much.”
He lifted his head quickly and nodded enthusiastically.
“Gonta is happy to help! Kiyo is very important to me so I would do anything to help them!” He then added: “Gonta is a gentleman after all.”
He was right, he was the epitome of a gentleman.
But more than that, he was just a good person.
Before I even had a chance to really think it through, my body was moving towards him.
I had wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his chest.
I could feel Gonta flailing his arms out of shock and then stiffening, unsure of what to do for the moment.
After a moment, he cleared his throat and wrapped his arms around me as well.
“Gonta hopes that this is, ahem... acceptable.” His head came to rest gently on top of mine and I hummed in approval.
“More than acceptable, my dear Gonta.”
He let out a coo like noise and I inhaled once more, the smell of ginger and sun flooding my senses again.
‘A smell I would love to get used to.’ I thought to myself.
After pulling away, we walked the rest of the park hand in hand, and when we got back to the car and to my apartment, he insisted on bundling me up in at least a dozen blankets before he took his leave.
But even after he left, his smell remained on me.
And I easily fell asleep to it.
Currently, that same glorious smell had worked its way onto my clothes and skin. Wrapped around him as much as I was, it’s not surprising.
To my liking, I had gotten used to the smell. It lingering around as much as it did.
His hand was still stroking my back while another twirled my hair.
Fingers scratching at my head lightly as he ran his hand through my hair. He would trace it from beginning to end, stretching his hand out to hold it all.
Then it would drop and his fingers would be by my ear to begin the process again.
“Is my love warm enough?” He asked softly, voice barely above a whisper.
I uncurled my leg out on top of him, hand gripping his shirt while I nodded.
“Mmm.”
“Gonta is glad, then.” His hands stopped their stroking and for a moment, I wanted to protest.
I quite enjoy the head petting in all honesty.
But then, he was wrapping his arms around me and flipping us onto our sides.
Letting out an ‘oomph’, the larger man simply laughed. Resting his head in the crook of my shoulder and neck.
His warm breath came trickling down my skin and I shivered, clenching and unclenching the hand on his chest.
Pressing his lips to my neck; he gave it a soft kiss.
“Kiyo is the most wonderful person.”
Another kiss.
“So lovely.”
Another, this one higher up.
“Gonta would like to hold Kiyo all the time, keep them warm in my arms forever.”
He pulled away from my neck to press his forehead against mine.
My eyes opening sleepily as I was met with Gontas’ grinning face.
“My Gonta is so pretty, so warm, so perfect.” I said, eyes slipping shut once more.
He hummed in response and pressed away from my forehead to give it a quick kiss.
I stretched my feet and began to curl them up. Slipping them between Gontas legs easily.
Effectively wrapping us on in one another.
He brought his head back down on top of mine and rubbed his cheek against it gently.
His arms wrapped around me tightened and I let out a sigh of content.
It felt so good, so warm.
Little by little, Gonta was managing to take the chill from my bones away and give them warmth.
With his smiles, passion... his whole person in general.
Not to mention the fact that the man smelled like literal sunshine.
I couldn’t help but laugh to myself, thinking back to when Gontas’ smell wasn’t a normal part of my everyday life.
When he wasn’t there to hold my hand at the park, or offer his jacket, or wash my hair on the bad days.
When he wasn’t there when I woke up.
But now he was, and I couldn’t be more grateful.
Because of him, I went to sleep easy, with no feelings of fear or regret. I could go to sleep knowing I’ll be safe.
Even when I just, quite literally, suddenly fall asleep.
I don’t wake up to drown my mind in anxiety contemplating what might have happened.
Because Gonta is there, to keep me safe, to give me warmth, to love me.
Yes, love me.
As if reading my mind, Gonta spoke quietly.
“Gonta thinks Kiyo is asleep, but I would like them to know Gonta loves them very much.” He said, rubbing his cheek against me again.
“mm, love you.” I mumbled against his chest as I squeezed my hand around his shirt in response.
Gonta let out a soft laugh.
“Kiyo should sleep now, they are sleepy.”
And with a deep inhale and the feeling of warmth all around me.
Sleep, is just what I did.