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Chapter Text

Mai often wonders where she would have been and what would have happened to her, had she not intervened on Zuko's behalf on the night of his would-be Agni Kai with the Fire Lord. Uncle had come home that weekend, so when Azula offered her and Ty Lee an escort back to Fire Island for the Solstice holidays, Mai jumped at the chance, when she would have normally not done so because of her insufferable mother.

But that was a long time ago, when she was still considered as a good noble girl that studied at the Academy, when she didn't roam the seas waiting for the impossible to happen. When silence and boredom were her only companions and the silence wasn't driven away by a seasoned veteran prince, General Iroh. The boredom remained, however, no matter how many games of Pai Sho Iroh challenged or cups of tea he brewed, and Mai's instilled behavior was still oppressive enough where she never felt compelled to actively find some means of entertainment.

But then she decides that the price for her intervention was worth it, so Mai does not often dwell on her melancholy. She scours the world for the Avatar in Zuko's stead, albeit in half-hearted attempts. Some believe that Commander Zhao puts more effort in doing so than she does. Mai knows it to be true. She finds the sea oddly comforting with its vastness and depth-lessness, and it gives her a sense of meaningful relief she has never felt on land. She is in no hurry to be home.

Her crew sees this and despise Mai for it. They all have families, she thinks, who they miss after a two years' absence. So, it is usually her first lieutenant Jee who gives command of her ship while Mai sits back idly, inactive. It was by his orders that they were in the South Pole at the appearance of the energy beam, and it was his frustration Mai promptly ignored when she ordered them not to attack the poverty-stricken village. Iroh who was beside her at the time merely stifled a small smile as Jee stormed off.

She learns later that Jee has disobeyed her orders and has dispatched his own band of soldiers to confront the Water Tribe village. It is mutiny, a crime punishable only by death, but Mai merely takes his salary to pay for the damages the Avatar inflicted on her ship. Jee is furious with her, of course, but they both know he has no right to be.

"It has been a while since General Iroh has done executions," she says in her monotone of a voice. "But I'm sure the practice still comes easy to him."

Jee had no words for that and he avoids her for a few days. He stills gives orders, simply because she refuses to do so, and they track the Avatar to Kyoshi Island, to an earthbender war camp, and then after Mai rescues Iroh from some earthbenders, to a small village just before the Winter Solstice. Jee follows him, almost to the Fire Nation.

"He's headed toward the Fire Sage temple!" Jee announces from his position at the spyglass. Mai glumly glances out at the horizon from her perch and sees Commander Zhao's blockade.

"Then we will not follow him," she says simply. Everyone but Iroh turns to stare at her in astonishment.

"And why not?" Jee almost thunders, but he keeps his temper in check, knowing that she is the one with power here.

"Because, lieutenant, if you do not remember, I am in exile. I cannot return to the Fire Nation unless I have the Avatar in custody."

"We can take a small boat. You can remain anchored here." Mai shakes her head.

"That will not do. The boats are still under my jurisdiction. If Zhao sees it, he will think that it is me. I cannot afford any risks to my name. We wait for the Avatar to return from the Fire Nation." Jee did nothing to conceal his rage.

"He may not return from the Fire Nation."

"Well he obviously doesn't plan to stay there."

"That's not what I meant—" Mai was getting irritated with his bickering. She stands up and crosses the deck to approach him.

"Lieutenant, you will refer to me as 'Captain' or 'ma'am,'" she says softly, emotionlessly. "And it is I who is in charge of this ship, not you. Understood?" Jee takes a moment to reply through his gritted teeth.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good." She turns to the rest of the crew members. "You will continue chasing him once he leaves the Fire Nation, but we will not cross the border waters. Anyone thinking of doing so will face charges of mutiny. Now, General Iroh will preside over the deck, and I'm going to retire to my cabin."

"Retired General," Iroh stipulates with a small bow. Mai throws him a smile before leaving to take her daily nap.

She is right, of course, and Zhao only manages to chase the Avatar out of the Fire Nation, giving her ship a head start on the temperamental commander. Soon enough, they stop at a seedy merchant port because Iroh has lost one of his precious Pai Sho tiles. Mai doesn't mind the detour, but Jee gives them grief over the lost time.

While they're there, Iroh manages to go on a shopping spree and stops by a pirate ship to discover that the Avatar and his friends have given the pirates some trouble. Mai gets an idea to hire the pirates, and goes back to the ship to tell Jee, who isn't particularly happy about working with the brutish and dishonest merchants.

They leave and Mai decides to the track the Avatar and his friends herself through the forest. Iroh offers to help, but she tells him to go with the pirates; she would be better at this alone. She sticks mainly to the coastline and around midnight, chances upon the female of the Avatar's group, a waterbender who is practicing her abilities with the scroll stolen from the pirates. But Mai isn't the only one that finds her, because the girl becomes ambushed by the pirates. She narrowly escapes them, falling into the nearby hedge where Mai is hiding.

The girl's eyes widen, then narrow at the sight of Mai, not knowing if she could trust her. Mai yanks the girl onto her feet and darts from the clearing, towing her along.

"This way." May realizes with some satisfaction that the girl does not recognize her, an advantage for staying out of Jee's escapades. They don't run into any more pirates and Mai stops them so they can catch their breath.

"Who are you?" the girl asks, bewildered and slightly breathless.

"My name's Mai. Yours?"

"Katara."

"Where are your friends at? They'll come for them next." Katara points in the opposite direction.

"They're sleeping in the other clearing. We need to go back." Katara turns to leave, and as she does so, something falls from her sleeve.

"Hey, you dropped—"

But Katara is already gone.

Mai looks at the fallen item and sees that it is the scroll, the one stolen from the pirates. She bends down to pick it up and sticks it in her own robes without a second glance. Waterbending forms mean nothing to her. She deliberates on what to do next, knowing that she would not be able to fight off a waterbender, Avatar, and a non-bending warrior, like herself. Maybe one of them alone, but not all three.

She runs after Katara, deciding to keep with the ruse that she is helping them. They reach the Avatar's campsite in time to fend off some more pirates, and although Mai is itching for some combat, she does not want to waste her shurikens on these thugs when they are much better spent on Jee.

"Stand down!" she commands the pirates.

They give her an edgy look that tells her they are not wanting to obey. So, she pulls out their scroll and holds it up to knife-point.

"I said, stand down," she says rather calmly. They lower their weapons and Mai mutters to Katara to wake up her companions so they can leave the clearing. Katara is uneasy that Mai has the scroll but does as she says, not knowing that Mai has her own ambush in the form of Iroh and her crew waiting nearby. When they are gone, Mai winks at the pirates and tosses their scroll back to them. They grin widely and leave the forest peacefully for their own ship.

Mai walks after the Avatar and his friends to see that Jee has successfully captured them. Mai only responds to his stuttered word of thanks with a blank stare.

"Try not to lose them," is all she says. She walks with Iroh back to their ship at the merchant dock. They do not even reach the halfway point when a footmen rushes toward them to inform Mai that the Avatar and his friends have escaped. Mai rolls her eyes and waves the man away.

"I believe there is a saying, General Iroh," she says, "About if you want something done, you have to do it yourself." Iroh nods and shrugs.

"The Avatar and his friends— they do not know it was you that betrayed them, they never saw you enter the clearing and speak to Jee."

"So that is one advantage we still have." Iroh grunts in affirmation, placing his hands in his sleeves. After a moment, he starts chuckling to himself.

"Lady Mai, you'll never believe it."

Mai arches an eyebrow at him.

"The lotus tile was in my sleeve the whole time!" He pulls out the evidence with a huge grin. Mai shakes her head in amusement, hiding her smile as she continues walking.

"At least this trip was not completely wasted."

Chapter Text

They are still following the Avatar, but Jee has lost the trail since their encounter with the pirates. It wasn't entirely Jee's fault that they had lost him, even though Mai never punished him for it. But Jee is still angry, although Mai has no idea imaginable why he should be. She mostly brushes it off until she hears whispers, and the whispers don't make her very happy.

Words like spoiled, selfish, and heartless reach her ears. She is almost disappointed she doesn't hear doesn't give a damn.

"There is a storm coming," General Iroh says one day, after staring at the horizon for quite a long time. Mai looks in the direction he indicates but sees nothing out of the ordinary, not a single cloud.

"How can you tell?" she asks, turning toward him.

"I can feel it." Mai never doubted Iroh's predictions before, so she does not start now.

"We'll need to find shelter," says Jee, coming from behind. "There's a dock nearby." Mai doesn't look at him as he approaches but stares ahead. Normally, she would suggest the same thing, but Jee's behavior as of late irritates her, so she does anything she can to disagree with him.

"We've been through storms before," she says. "We will not dock. We will continue looking for the Avatar that you have lost, Lieutenant." She smells the smoke curling from his fingers before she sees it.

"But ma'am," he protests through tight lips. "The safety of the crew—" Mai turns, fixing him with a cold glare.

"If the safety of the crew matters to you," she says, "then you would not have made such an incompetent blunder. You would have not have compromised my return home. The safety of the crew means nothing. We will continue our search for the Avatar." Mai turns her back to him, formally ending their conversation.

"You make me sick," he hisses from behind. "You're nothing but a pampered girl who knows nothing about the world and only cares about herself. We've been at sea for over two years, and you've never showed any interest in going home. You're not the only one on this ship, ma'am."

Mai does not move, nor does she allow her expression to change. Hiding her disgust was easy; stopping herself from hurling a knife at the lieutenant was relatively difficult. She hears him coming closer.

"Hey! Did you hear me? I'm tired of you treating us like infected hogmonkeys—" Jee places a hand on her shoulder and before he can say anything else, she has him on the ground, a sai to this throat.

"Choose your next words carefully, Lieutenant," she tells him softly. Not a single muscle changes her placid expression. Everything is still on the deck for several minutes and it seems as if no one breathes. Iroh does not intervene, although Mai really wishes he would. She's desperately wanting to shove her blade through Jee's windpipe.

Finally, Jee says, "My apologies, Captain." Mai doesn't nod or help him to his feet as she straightens up and withdraws her weapon. Instead, she ignores Jee altogether and leaves the deck, slamming the metal door behind her as she does so.

Mai is angry but does no show it. She is enraged at the lieutenant for his insolence. She wants to hurt him like she has never hurt anyone before.

Mai has made it a habit of hiding in the rafters of the lower decks. No one finds her there except Iroh sometimes, and it is there that she learns the secrets of her crew and the… whispers about her. Tonight it is where she hears Iroh narrating her story to them after walking in on Jee and the others cursing her name.

"Mai is a misunderstood young woman," he begins, taking his seat. "She is not troubled or spoiled as some would like to think. Instead, she has made rather mature sacrifices at an uncharacteristically young age, choosing to be punished for someone else's mishap. My nephew, the Prince Zuko, attended a war meeting where he insulted a respectable general. As punishment, Zuko was to fight an Agni Kai. Thinking he was going to fight the old general, he instantly agreed. However, since it occurred in the Fire Lord's war room, he had insulted his own father.

"Ozai planned to duel his son himself. No one knew of his plan, except for his beloved daughter who gloated the information to her friends, the daughters of two noblemen: Ty Lee and Mai."

At the mention of her name, there is a murmur of ghostly unrest among her crew. Mai looks away from their fire and at her own hands.

"For reasons unknown to most people, she requested an audience with the Fire Lord and somehow convinced him to not duel with Zuko."

Mai remembers the conversation exactly:

"Ah, Miss Mai, a beloved friend of my princess. How may I help you?" Mai does not hesitate or hedge around her purpose.

"My Lord, Prince Zuko will not fight you." Abruptly, Ozai's guard is up, and his deceptively warm eyes narrow in suspicion. Mai betrays no emotion.

"Explain yourself." Mai gets on the floor and bows, keeping her head close to the ground. Her nose barely skims the tiles. She knows that if she makes one error, all could be lost and Ozai could very well ask for her head.

"Princess Azula has confided to Ty Lee and I of your plans to punish the prince," she says evenly, voice devoid of any sort of inflection.

"Then she has placed a certain amount of trust in you that would be foolish to betray."

"Yes, Your Highness. I would never dream of betraying Princess Azula's trust or yours. However, I am here to say that I believe you know as well as I do that your son will not fight you in the Agni Kai you have planned for him." There is a long silence as Ozai considers her. She can tell what he is thinking, wondering if she is here to defy him, but she is not.

"I know my son," he says finally. "He will refuse the fight once he sees me, but he will be a fool to do so."

"What will he suffer for his refusal?" Ozai considers the question.

"Banishment. He will be in exile unless he finds the Avatar and brings him to the Fire Nation." Mai almost flinches, but years of practice stifles the urge. Instead, she sucks in a large, steady breath, preparing for the words she will say next.

"I request, my Lord, that you give his punishment to me instead." Mai senses, rather than sees, Ozai's astonishment. Had he not been in control of his senses, Mai would venture to guess that her words would cause him to stumble back.

"And you will do this? Never return to your home until you have the Avatar secured?" Mai does not pause.

"Yes, I will." She hears him breathe through his nose as he circles, almost as if he wants to chuckle but he does not. Mai's heart hammers wildly in her chest as she awaits for his answer.

"Zuko must fight an Agni Kai," he muses. "I suppose he could fight the general as he thinks he will."

Mai's chest swells with what she thinks is elation, but she remains silent.

"You do realize that, once you are banished, you will not be able to save him from other infractions while you are away?"

"Yes, Your Grace."

"Rise."

Mai does as he says quickly and fluidly. She keeps her head titled and her eyes still trained on the floor. She feels his smile beside her, filled with his innate cruelty and amusement at her offer.

"May I ask why you would take his place?" This time, Mai looks at him straight into his eyes, the smile she imagined perfectly etched into his face. Her expression is blank, completely smooth.

"Is it wrong to love the one I was groomed to marry?" she asks. Ozia's smile changes now. It turns rueful, almost regretful. Almost.

"You would have been a wonderful addition to the Royal Family. I give you my blessing over your search so that you may still be."

Mai merely nods her respect and leaves his presence.

Oh yes. Mai remembers the encounter perfectly. Iroh continues.

"On the day of the scheduled Agi Kai, Prince Zuko fought the general he thought he was going to fight. He struggled, but eventually managed to become victorious. I was there. But there was a seat next to the Princess Azula that was empty."

"Mai's seat," Jee supplies, in a tender voice that Mai would have never imagined the lieutenant would have when in reference to her. Iroh nods at Jee's guess.

"That's right. The next day, I get a reassignment from Fire Lord Ozai. I was to accompany the banished noblewoman, take care of her, make sure no harm befell her. I am in her charge and, should she ever find the Avatar, to ensure she returns to the Fire Nation safely."

"Why would she do that? For Zuko?" Jee asks suddenly. Mai cannot name the emotion in his words and imagines Iroh shrugging, wondering if the retired general knows.

"Perhaps you should ask her yourself," Iroh says, chuckling. Mai smiles, knowing she would never tell Jee that about herself.

"But why…" Jee stammers, struggling to find the right words. "Why does she not care about finding the Avatar? Why does she sit and do nothing?"

"Now, Lieutenant," Iroh says somewhat reproachfully. "Since we've found the Avatar's existence at the South Pole, she has been, undoubtedly, more interested." Mai knows Iroh is right. She'd been putting more effort in doing things and giving orders since the South Pole.

"I haven't seen that much change in her. It's almost as if she's toying with us. She doesn't care, she doesn't… feel anything." Jee's remark stings Mai more than she would have thought, so she curls into herself to keep the hurtful words at bay.

"Doesn't she? Or has she been taught to have that appearance?" Mai finds herself listening more intently and the blood thrums through her ears as she anxiously waits for Iroh to continue.

"What do you mean?" Jee asks.

"Mai is a girl born of the Fire Nobility, taught in the ways of the aristocracy. I would gamble to say that Mai seems like that to you because she's used to punishment whenever she shows emotion. It is her duty to remain silent, without an opinion. She keeps herself locked away behind a mask, a true courtier."

"But she's not at the palace any more," Jee presses half-heartedly.

"Old habits die hard, Lieutenant."

Mai is completely baffled by how much Iroh knows of her. She had never shared that with him. Did he know her mother, then? Know what she was like? Or perhaps he had heard Mai murmur in her sleep, things like 'Yes, Mother' or 'I'm sorry, Mother." Iroh stretches, yawns, and rises from his seat.

"However, it is not my place to say for sure, but now you will all understand our captain a little bit more."

Mai hears Jee opening his mouth to respond, but a loud boom rocks the ship, knocking everyone off their chair and causing Mai to desperately cling to the metal beams so she wouldn't fall. The ship levels off, and Mai climbs easily back on her perch.

"The storm!" Jee exclaims. "I think we were hit." Mai hears them assess the situation some more as she hurries to the deck to see the damage.

The rain is sheeting and pelts her face and clothes enough to where she is completely soaked through in mere seconds. She surveys the tower where the navigation room is and sees specks of broken glass and the small shapes of dangling metal.

One shape bears a strong resemblance to a human.

The others are suddenly on the deck with her.

"The helmsman!" she has to yell over the roar of waves and thunder, pointing up at the top of the tower.

Jee is beside her and looks at Mai in a way that seems he is appraising her and wants to make amends. It makes her uncomfortable so she turns away and races to climb the emergency ladder welded into the side of the tower. Jee follows her, always a few steps behind because Mai is smaller, faster.

About halfway up, Mai feels her hair rise and her neck tingle. She glances down to see Iroh redirecting a bolt of lightning away from the ship. She focuses her attention back up and climbs a few more steps before hearing the terrified scream of the helmsman as he loses his grip and falls.

Mai catches his hand just as it is passing her face, but the sudden weight of another man pulls her down and her small hands threaten to release him. She may be faster than Jee and stronger than other girls her age, but that does not mean she is strong enough to hold up a man twice her size a hundred feet in the air.

Mai hears a muffled scream escape from her throat without her consent as the weight of the helmsman threatens to rip her arm off. The pain is suddenly relieved when Jee reaches out to grab him around the waist, pulling the helmsman to safety.

Mai's arm hurts like hell but she is mentally grateful that Jee followed her up the ladder. He looks up at her with a hint of a smile on his face. Mai feels a ghost of one barely touch hers but does allow her eyes to soften down at the lieutenant.

Once they're all down, the helmsman is treated in the hospice and Mai rubs friction into her arms to somewhat subdue the chill in her bones. She glances suspiciously at Jee and the others, wondering how they're largely unaffected by the rain, and spots their plated armor with a hint of jealousy.

She notices Jee standing closer to her looking… uncomfortable? She turns to him with her characteristically blank expression, waiting for him to say whatever he has on his mind. He is hesitant to speak and scratches the nape of his neck. Mai understands now— he's felt that they've connected over rescuing a life together. He thinks that they might have bonded.

Mai admits, it's a rather foolish notion on his part. Nothing has happened except that he knows about her past. She thinks that he could apologize for his previous words, but knows that since he is male, it is a lost hope.

Mai is about to turn away from him when she sees a shaped mass of white fur over Jee's shoulder. She blinks at it and recognizes the sky bison.

"It's the Avatar," she points out in an uninterested voice. They all turn at her words and see the Avatar's bison flying away." Jee is suddenly all business.

"Shall we pursue him, ma'am?" Jee asks. Mai gives him a blank stare.

"Well, we can't really go anywhere without a helmsman, can we?"

She turns from them all, wishing to be left alone, and heads for the stern of the ship now that the rain has died down.

Katara glances down at the ship they have soared above. It looks like the ship that Lieutenant Jee runs, but she can't be sure. They are already too far away and the rain is too thick to discern any distinguishing details. She wonders, briefly, who is Jee's captain. They have never seen him before.

There is a figure onboard that Katara can't quite identify. They look feminine and are completely drenched, but there is something familiar about the styled black hair.

But, they are out of sight before Katara can name them.

Mai knows she should probably change clothes. It has long since stopped raining, but her current robes are still soaked. She runs her fingernails against the slightly warped railing of the ship, feeling the dampness collected around the edges. She shivers as a breeze passes through the waning sunlight and hunches her shoulders closer together for the slight amount of warmth.

She hears someone walking towards her but doesn't turn, thinking it's Iroh come to comment on her earlier actions. But when they speak, the voice sounds nothing like Iroh.

"That was rather impressive," says Jee instead. Mai ignores him completely and stuffs her hands under her arms. She hears him sigh, and his discomfort rolls off of him in waves. Almost instinctively, she hears his thoughts and knows that it would be so much easier for him to talk to her if she were male. Saving a man's life together would have constitute as some sort of bonding between them, but it's different. Jee doesn't know of the complex ways of feminine nature.

Her lack of response, if only, seems to prompt him. She senses his unspoken apology hanging in the air behind her, and before she can do a single thing, he turns her around and kisses her.

Mai is stunned, and her astonishment initially just measures with her wide eyes. Within a moment, she understands that this is how Jee is apologizing, but the moment is brief and soon Mai doesn't understand. Why is he kissing her? It doesn't make any sense for him to do so.

She disentangles herself away from him, individually prying his fingers from her shoulders. She fixes him with a cold glare as she systematically brushes Jee's smell off of her.

"I wouldn't suggest doing that again, Lieutenant," is all she says as she walks past him to return to her cabin for the evening.