Work Text:
“You’ll grow into them. I promise.”
God fucking dammit.
He might be growing into them, but no one else seemed to think so.
His dad always praised him for his horns, his friends thought they were cool, and there was even a point before any of this where Tubbo also thought they were cool. He used to take so much pride in them, but instead now, he loathes them with a burning passion.
Not every day was terrible. Some days he was able to get by without jeering comments or pushes and shoves from a few of his classmates. But then there were those terrible days where a few kids would throw sticks at him, or stick their fingers up near their foreheads, calling Tubbo things such as a “spawn from hell,” and calling him the devil himself. He felt every single push and shove in the hallway, every step on his feet as he stood in line. Especially when Tommy wasn’t there.
It was embarrassing, how much Tubbo relied on Tommy, that he couldn’t just stick up for himself like most 14 year-olds. He felt like such a failure, so clingy. Tommy only shared two classes with him, and the other four were up for grabs for everyone else.
On the worst days, Tubbo would be found in the school bathroom, trying his best to hold it together, looking in the mirror at his horns that were starting to curl just a little bit. They stuck out of his unruly hair and were beginning to become a bit darker than they were when he was a kid. He was told by his dad that during the next few years was when his horns would grow the most; this was not a good thing for Tubbo.
Sure, growing up he always thought it would be. Hell, he wanted horns like his dad so bad when he was a kid. Anytime they would grow not even half an inch he would get so excited, telling every goddamn person on the planet that he encountered. But these days he was usually in the boy’s bathroom, tugging on his horns while wishing they would just come right off if he tugged and wished hard enough.
They never did.
This one day in particular was just the absolute worst- probably one of the very worst days he’s ever had.
It started out as any other- his dad has a hangover, Tubbo makes sure he’s okay before he leaves for school. Some mornings Big Q was there, offering the boy coffee in the early morning, which Tubbo always accepted. This was not one of those mornings, but it was still pretty usual. He caught the bus and was on his way to the prison that the country called educational.
A few jeers were thrown his way as he walked to his and Tommy’s meeting spot near their special tree, but it wasn’t anything that Tubbo wasn’t expecting; just shit that he’s already heard before. But right as Tommy came into view, the handle of his yellow backpack was grabbed and he was ripped to the ground, his breath ceasing to remain in his lungs. He hit the dirt so hard that it knocked the air from him.
Tommy had ran up to them to shoo them away and to help his friend up. It was rather off-putting, but again, not really much else was expected. Tubbo mostly hated the stares and side-glances he would get after the events. To him, that was much more annoying.
In a few of his classes, some notes were being passed around and so were small snickers of laughter; he knew they were all directed at him. They usually were- he hadn’t known until a note one day in the past landed on his desk by mistake. He had been so enthralled to be a part of something that he had opened it without thinking, only to be extremely hurt when he saw a scribble of what looked to be him with giant, ugly horns and a spiked tail.
Walking down the halls to meet Tommy for lunch, things seemed to be more aggressive than usual- either that or his anxiety was just taking things up a notch. Either way, it fucking sucked being shoved up against lockers. In fact, it was so overwhelming that he hadn’t thought about what he could’ve blurted out in the moment.
“Hey, what the fuck is wrong with you?” He shouted, and the whole school hallway seemed to go dead silent. Not really, but a few people sure did quiet down.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did someone say something?” The tall boy, who was probably the same age as Tubbo, put a seeking hand above his eyes and mimicked looking for something.
Tubbo just glared up at him, staring him straight in the eyes.
“Holy shit, this kid actually looks pissed, guys.” The boy’s features softened, in a sort of realization.
In this moment, Tubbo thought that maybe they would back off, that maybe they would see that he was worth something.
“Isn’t he adorable?”
He was so incredibly wrong.
The small group surrounding him burst out in laughter, and Tubbo’s face grew red with embarrassment. In the heat of the moment, Tubbo threw his hands up and made contact with his bully’s chest in an attempt to shove him away. Of course, this didn’t work out how he intended to, and was instead sent to the ground himself; his chest hurt where the boy had forcefully put his hands.
“Don’t try to be intimidating. A ram can’t even use his own horns for good? How pathetic.”
Tubbo felt tears come to his eyes. Why was he so emotional? This day really wasn’t all that different, was it? Was he more hurt because he actually tried to do something for once and it aggressively failed? He didn’t know, but he didn’t really have time to think as he hurried to stand and run. He heard someone call his name but he couldn’t stop due to the tears falling from his eyes.
Never let them see you cry.
Tubbo came to the back wall of the school where no one was ever seen, besides maybe a few older students having a makeout session. Tubbo never really came here; it was only when he needed to really cool down.
He shrunk into himself and wrapped his shaking arms around his legs. Why was he so different? Why were people so mean? Surely there were other hybrids in his school… there was one kid with fucking black and white skin! No one seemed to bother him… maybe Tubbo could ask him how he manages.
Soon enough, footsteps came pacing down the tracks that Tubbo had taken and they came to a halt in front of the crying boy.
“Tubbo?”
Tubbo shook his head. He knew exactly who it was; who else would it be?
“Just go away, Tommy.”
He could hear his friend shake his head. “Nah, I don’t think I will.”
The boy sat down next to Tubbo on the dirt.
“That was pretty rough.”
“You think?” Tubbo looked up, tears streaking his cheeks. “Thanks, Captain Obvious.”
“No reason to be snarky, big man. I’m a helper, not a fighter.”
Tubbo sighed. “This fucking sucks.”
“Why don’t you tell a teacher?”
“They won’t care, Tommy. You know they don’t.”
“Well, I was able to get help a while back for my issues, remember?” Tommy spoke gently.
“Okay well, that was completely and utterly different.”
Tommy closed his mouth for once. He didn’t know what to say.
“I still think they’re cool.”
Tubbo shook his head. “I don’t.”
“I think you should take pride in ‘em, Big T.” Tommy poked Tubbo’s side, to which the boy shriveled up a bit.
“It’s not that easy.”
“Sure it is! Just ignore what they say.”
“That’s easy for you to say.”
“It can be done I’m sure.”
“How the hell would you know?” Tubbo blurted; he cursed his voice crack. “You don’t have horns! You don’t have a tail! You don’t have ugly, floppy ears that look ridiculous when you run! You don’t get it.”
Tommy’s eyes were wide as Tubbo sobbed.
“Tubbo, I-”
“Forget it! It doesn’t matter.”
Tubbo stood up from the ground for what felt like the 80th time that day and ran in the only direction he could think of- home. There was no way he could be at that cursed place for any longer; sure, Tommy was just trying to help, but he was a bit too adventurous about some things. He didn’t understand.
Tubbo heaved as he sobbed and ran at the same time. By the time he got home, he was completely out of breath, almost passing out before he could even reach the door handle. But before he could think to fall over, the door swung open and there was his dad with open arms, grabbing his son under the arms to keep him steady.
“Tubbo? Tubbo, what’s wrong with you? What the hell happened?” Schlatt asked in a panic, pulling him inside.
Tubbo was gasping loudly as tears wouldn’t stop cascading down his cheeks. How did his dad know he was out there? Surely he wasn’t that loud.
Right?
“Tubbo, please breathe for me, Jesus Christ.”
Schlatt brought Tubbo down to the floor, just in case the boy’s hyperventilating did become too much- if he passed out, he wouldn’t fall far, and his dad could catch him.
“I-I… my… my h-horns… my horns-” Tubbo couldn’t breathe that well, so this led to quite the incoherent sentence.
“Alright alright, we aren’t getting anywhere here, bud. Please just take a deep breath-” Tubbo heard a voice that wasn’t his dad’s- oh, it was Quackity. Quackity was there. “You’re alright.”
“I-I hate them! I hate them!” Tubbo tugged the horns on his head in a fit of absolute despair. He was cursed, he was truly cursed. “They’re terrible! A curse!”
Schlatt lightly shushed his son as he slowly brought the boy closer in a small attempt to embrace him. Schlatt knew that Tubbo having breakdowns like this was common; every so often the boy would get worked up about homework or some other daunting task, most of which Schlatt could never blame the boy for. But he genuinely wasn’t sure what this one was about, or why the hell he was home at 12 in the afternoon.
Soon enough, Tubbo fell limp in Schlatt’s arms and just started crying. All of this ridiculous buildup to a horrific ending. All those months of being ruthlessly bullied every so often ever since his horns became more prominent and holding his his feelings really came back to bite him in the ass. Quackity had joined the small huddle, eventually wrapping his arms around Tubbo as well.
It was a little bit before Tubbo had calmed down, but no one ever complained. Both Schlatt and Quackity probably would have stayed there for the whole day if they needed to.
“Are you ready to talk about it?” Quackity asked softly.
“How did you guys do it?”
Schlatt and Quackity looked at each other.
“How did you handle it… all the bullying, all the stares, all the biased teachers?”
“Oh,” Schlatt sighed. “Oh goddammit.”
“That’s it. Pull him out of the school, J.”
“What? No! Tommy’s there! I can’t leave him!” Tubbo’s lips started to quiver again.
“Easy kid, easy. We aren’t gonna take you out if we don’t have to. But you gotta tell me what the fuck’s going on. You don’t usually come home a mess at lunchtime.” Schlatt held Tubbo by the arms.
“My horns… everyone hates them. I almost got in a fight today because of them…” Tubbo sighed. “I-it doesn’t matter. I just don’t know w-what to do.”
The two men shared knowing glances.
“Tubbo, you know I’m an expert at getting through high school. Finished with a pregnant girl, got straight C’s and somehow I’m now a government official. But I truly don’t know how to handle bullies.”
Tubbo looked up at his dad, who was looking down at him.
“The most important thing to remember, though, is to keep your friends close, because they’ll help you through everything.” The man looked up at Quackity, who gave a small smile.
“That’s just the thing. I… I yelled at Tommy before I ran home. He probably hates me now.” Tubbo shoved his head in his hands.
“A real pal wouldn’t.”
Tubbo sighed, wiping his tears. “I just wish I was normal.”
“Hey man, you don’t get many places being ‘normal.’ I wouldn’t be anywhere if I didn’t have these wings. Now your dad and I are close to running a whole damn democracy! How crazy is that?” Quackity enthused. “C’mon now, younger Tubbo would be so mad at you right now.”
Tubbo laughed, thinking of his younger self ruthlessly blabbering at him. “I guess that’s true. It just… sucks.”
“Life fucking sucks, Tub. I hate to break it to ya, but half the shit in my life has gone wrong.” Schlatt shrugged. “But half the shit has gone right. You just gotta identify it.”
Tubbo creased his brow. Identify it?
“You mean like, make a pro/con’s list?” Tubbo asked.
“Uh-” Schlatt was a bit confused. “Not exactly what I meant, but it could work I guess.”
Tubbo nodded. “Okay.”
“Hold on, before you do anything, you’re taking a seat at the couch and drinking some water. You were breathing like a maniac out there.” Schlatt stood up, bringing his son with him, placing him on his feet. “Take a fucking breath, my god.”
Tubbo smiled.
Later that night, the thoughts from the day started to flood in. All the conversations, all the side-talk, what he had said to Tommy before he ran off. It was all coming back to haunt him, causing the walls of his small room to further enclose around him.
So instead of attempting to sleep, he simply left his bed and went to the bathroom that was across the hall.
Tubbo stared himself down in the mirror. His hair curled around the atrocities that sprouted from his head- his devil horns were a bit lighter than his hair, and as they were ringed and rough, they stood out like a really sore thumb. They weren’t curled inwards at all, no, they just stuck straight back, getting ready to curl the next year. Maybe if they didn’t look so goddamn ridiculous, he would question why he was bullied more, but he definitely knew why. He looked absolutely horrendous. A monster.
He thought back to a story his dad once told him, the story about how his horns grew too fast and he was left with giant horns that sat atop his head that didn’t fit him. Tubbo couldn’t even imagine what that would be like- oh god, the comments he would get.
Tubbo really looked up to his dad. He managed to raise a child at a young age and overcame a whole lot of shit throughout his life…
Maybe when he’s older, he can be just like his dad. Confident, smart, powerful.
Maybe not the teen pregnancy, though.