Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

New York City, a place known for thriving off of chaos and madness. A city known to be full of much turmoil and devastation. For those who are fortunate enough, the city that never sleeps has been a saving grace. Providing opportunities and dreams that make it all the more easy to sleep at night. Yet, most of the vast population know how little it takes for everything to slip away. They know how each new day is a blessing if given the chance to even survive. They know that their nightmares have the chance to become a reality.

That's how Osamu perceived it. The lone soldier stood on top of an abandoned building, overlooking the surrounding city. The sun had just gone down, darkening the sky, revealing the barely visible starry night. The lights of the city began their awakening, illuminating various buildings and establishments. Cars drove by in great haste, some rushing home from work, some rushing from home to work. As simple as it seemed, Osamu saw right passed the cryptic façade. It was all a fake sense of safety that the citizens fooled themselves into thinking was secure.

The cold air of the night brushed the man's dark bangs away from his deep brown eyes that held little emotion. Osamu looked over the city once again, smirking, before turning his back and walking towards the opposite end of the decaying structure. It so happened that the building he was on was once meant to be a place for someone's attempt at a business but according to the form at the leading doors, the owner had gone bankrupt and so another dream was crushed.

Osamu perched himself at the edge, peering over the assortment of buildings, some were still in use, while others were barely standing. Taking a meditative breath, Osamu thought back to the events that led him here.

Bushi Osamu was born in Japan, twenty three years ago, into a nice family. He was an only child and had great parents. His father was a wise warrior and his mother was an intelligent scholar. They greatly encouraged Osamu to strive for the better things in life and pursue his passion. It wasn't a traditional method of parenting but Osamu didn't care. Growing up, Osamu found fascination with ninjutsu and the way of the ninja. His father taught him skills he had previously learned and had gotten Osamu a collection of scrolls that held great knowledge in the art. He soon became gifted with the style and acquired great skills with the katana. After countless months of practice, Osamu finalized his decision and joined a nearby clan.

His village was small, yes, but not too far away lived an assortment of ninja clans, each with their own path to honor. Each with their own warriors. Osamu saw the bravery and strength that each clan brought to the many villages in the surrounding areas. All of which fought for peace and justice. Osamu's mother was unsure of her son's decision but in the end, like his father, supported his choice. With much consideration, Osamu decided on which clan.

The Foot Clan.

From his child years to his young teen years, Osamu heard great tales about the clan. He heard of their climatic tale when they defeated the Hamato Clan. He had believed liars and deceivers that the clan stood for honor and all things righteous. His naïve nature and wanting to be a part of the clan clouded his judgement. He failed to notice the truth behind their Leader.

He realized his mistake when it was already too late. Once he joined, he soon saw that the clan's leader, Orouku Saki was nothing but a man of evil and great sin. His tales of glory and sacrifice were nothing but lies that hid his disastrousness. The man's goals for the clan were shameful yet, no one else had thought otherwise.

Osamu tried leaving immediately after he saw the truth but once he did, his family was threatened. Orouku Saki didn't take kindly to treason and had to quarrel with hurting the innocent. The realization hit. There was no way out of it. Osamu, only twelve at the time of his joining, feared that he would be spending the rest of life stuck with the unforgiving Foot Clan.

For ten years, Osamu followed Saki's lead. For ten years, he watched hundreds of families and villages being destroyed. Ten excruciatingly long years.

One night, a year after his joining, was especially hard when he had to face his own village's destruction.

His family, the only loved ones he had. The ones he promised he would protect no matter what, perished with no mercy. Everything else he cherished was burned to a crisp. He lost everything that night.

Having heard many times that the punishment for leaving the clan was a price far worse than death and having nothing left, Osamu stayed with the clan. It was all that he could do. One the same night Osamu made the promise to himself and to his family that no matter how long it took he would start his own clan. A clan that stood for honor. A clan that took in the lost souls of the innocent. A clan that would be the product of rebirth and salvation. For the next ten years, Osamu spent sleepless nights, planning, organizing, doing whatever he could to prepare.

During his decade of planning, he scavenged the many broken villages around the Foot headquarters, looking for lost souls that needed something more. He gained loyalty, friends, and strength ever so slowly. In the weeks that followed all he needed was a way to get out of the clan. Once that was done, he could continue building his clan and eventually take down the Foot. Osamu deeply studied his mother's teachings knowing her methods would help him figure out some sort of solution. It took months but an idea finally came to him. It was foolproof and would no doubt get past Saki.

Unfortunately, fate was often an unfriendly stranger to Osamu. The night he was going to set his plan into motion, Saki had gathered a group of ninjas that consisted of Osamu and about thirty others. They would all be flown to the United States and brought into New York City, New York. Saki told them that the Hamato Clan was on the rise after all these years.

Osamu had remembered of the so-called Hamato Clan. According to history it was said to be a peaceful and honorable clan but according to Orouku Saki, the clan was weak and filled with nothing but backstabbing traitors. Osamu heard from other soldiers that Saki was raised by the clan and had fallen in love with a woman that held affections for Saki's brother, Hamato Yoshi. The two men had gotten into a fight that killed the woman and the Hamato Clan was overpowered by the Foot.

That wasn't all.

The woman and Yoshi had conceived a child that Saki had stolen from that gruesome night. Osamu had rarely seen Saki's adoptive daughter. Karai, as Saki named her, was kept away for the most part. Apparently, she has no idea who her true father was but it seemed Sami was never going to reveal that truth to her. Still, at that time Osamu knew she was barely sixteen years old but was said to be as deceiving and deadly as Saki himself.

So despite Osamu's internal protests, he was flown to New York City to investigate any evidence that the Hamato Clan still existed. He was hoping it was going to be a quick trip, they found the evidence, destroyed the clan, went back to Japan, and maybe stopped for sushi. Easy, quick, and simple. He never expected that he would spend his late teen years in the city.

He never expected that the Hamato Clan was a bunch of mutant turtles.

The first encounter Osamu had with the ninja teens is one he'll never forget. They looked alien, talked like normal human beings, and were skilled ninjas. It was the most unusual event that happened in his small lifetime. It didn't take long for Osamu to fully understand that New York City was built upon chaos that went far deeper than anyone imagined. He found that there were alien robots from a different dimension, there were far more mutants than the turtles, and the pizza was as good as the city claimed.

He swore, his life often felt like some comedic cartoon.

Osamu paid no attention to the growing plot. All he cared about was securing his clan and overthrowing the Foot. These teenage turtle ninja mutants meant nothing to him. He ignored them and grew to hate their place in his life. After a few months, more soldiers were brought in along with some very respected ninja warriors. Some were even mutated with the same weird stuff that caused the mutation of the turtles. Seriously, it was irritating. Osamu saw that he wouldn't be going to Japan anytime soon, he had to figure out a plan in the city.

He didn't plan on the alien robots taking over the city, the people of the city becoming mutated creatures, Saki's daughter becoming a mutant, Saki himself becoming a mutant, and so much more.

There wasn't a day that went by where Osamu didn't face some sort of evil being that was only seen in comics and manga. Any plans of escape seemed futile and hopeless. He and the other remaining human members of the clan were closely monitored and that was that. On a particular boring evening, Osamu decided to waste his energy by studying the turtles.

Only, it wasn't time wasted. . .

What Osamu found greatly intrigued him. First, there was the oldest, Leonardo. He was the leader of the four brothers, wielding twin katanas. His strategies were smart and his leadership was honorable. Far better than Saki's in Osamu's opinion. It was clear why Saki focused his attention on the blue banded turtle, thinking that getting rid of the Leader was the solution to the destruction.

Simple minded thinking wasn't unusual for Saki.

Next, there was the second oldest, Raphael. Wielding twin sais, the red banded turtle was known to be the fiercest and strongest. Osamu recalled the turtle's temper in battles, it was crazy and a little intimidating, yet, it was the turtle's weakness. Raphael and Leonardo were known for battling it out and having long lasting arguments.

'Pathetic.' He thought, moving on to the next file.

After Raphael, came the second youngest, Donatello. The theme of the Renaissance was enough to make Osamu's eyes roll. Anyway, Donatello was shown to be the quietest, and the weakest of the group when compared to his brothers physically. The purple banded turtle held skills with a bo staff, a powerful weapon in Osamu's opinion, yet the turtle's true strength came from his mind. His IQ was unknown, but it was obvious the turtle was truly gifted by the amount of inventions and technological advancements the turtles were seen using in battle.

Finally, the youngest. Michelangelo wore an orange bandana and held the nunchucks. Though he seemed weak, his speed, energy, and joke telling made him unpredictable. His strength was nothing to underestimate in battle. His annoyance made him particularly hard to deal with.

The four brothers, along with their two human allies, were resilient and seemed to be able to face any challenge head on. It was almost inspiring if Osamu didn't hold anger towards them. After all, it was because of their strength he wasn't home in Japan.

Reality was ironic though. For a couple years later it was the turtle's strength that ultimately defeated Saki. They lost Hamato Yoshi in the process but overall, the turtles won. Even when Saki's assassin Tigerclaw, and a hellish demon Cavaxas tried to resurrect him, the turtles were victorious.

And just like that, Karai disbanded the foot clan and I was suddenly free to go home. It seemed so unreal at first. After years of facing nothing but anguish from the Foot and causing never ending destruction, it was over. Osamu had no one to follow, no one to listen to for orders. He was his own man. Free to finally start his own clan.

Osamu wasted no time in buying a ticket and heading straight to Japan. He did so in joy and relief. A dream he had long thought dead was rising. He had no care for what happened to the soldiers or what was going to become of New York City after everything. He especially held no regard to what the turtles were going to do. The way he saw it, once everything was in place, he would return to the city and destroy what clans were in the city myself. Even if Karai reformed the Foot clan, it didn't change the fact that the clan robbed everything from the soldier and the countless torture and devastation it caused to the home of many innocent lives. The clan deserved to die in the flames it brought to his life.

As for the Hamato Clan, Osamu's hatred wasn't as deep or as extreme, but Osamu had spent many nights blaming and hating the clan for being the reason he was brought to the city. There was a burning passion to end their lives.

Besides, they would no doubt challenge his clan if he were to return to New York. His mind had already been made up when he arrived in Japan. Both clans had to go if he was going to succeed.

. . .but something was nagging at his mind.

Not surprising, it was the infuriating turtles. What was surprising though, was that it was only one. Osamu barely associated the turtles separately. He always grouped them together and that was that. Yet, ever since that night where he spent looking at them closer, there was something that continuously bothered him.

That something, or someone, was Donatello.

There was just something about the smart turtle that buzzed in Osamu's mind. The turtle was an enigma and Osamu wanted to know more. What was so special about this turtle that caused his mind distress? Osamu was forced to push away his thoughts as he met up with a close friend boy too long after his arrival.

Her name was Katsumi and while Osamu was away, she had worked tirelessly to bring together groups of people to join the clan. Katsumi trained nearly a hundred men and women while Osamu was with the Foot. As the two friends discussed their next course of action, Osamu still couldn't clear his head. That blasted turtle was still in his mind, consuming his ever thought.

The next couple of weeks were spent in training new recruits, planning, and building what Osamu officially dubbed the Bushi Clan. Signifying his parents and honoring their memory was one of his top priorities. By this point Osamu was in his early twenties and had slowly accomplished his goal. He had a pretty good amount of soldiers that improved their ninjutsu each day, becoming unbeatable. Osamu had trusted commanders that he knew were loyal. Like him, these soldiers wanted to be a part of a clan that stood for honor, not one that stood for hate.

The clan steadily grew but once again, Osamu found Donatello in his thoughts. One day, after completing a training session, Osamu walked off into the woods alone. He wanted to look for tranquility and answers. Why was Donatello in his mind? Why was it just that turtle and not the others? Osamu breathed and practiced meditation, thinking deeply. Donatello was the smartest. That's all the turtle was, right?

Images of the turtle's vehicles, specialized weapons, and any device they had was created from the smart turtle raced through his thoughts. These tools were all the product of junk and complex mechanics. They made the team adaptable. They made them strong in ways Saki never was. What took a team of mechanics, scientists, and engineers months of work, a teenager accomplished ten times more in the matter of weeks all on his own. Not to mention his extremely good skills at hacking. Osamu couldn't remember how many times he heard Saki's top scientist complain and curse at having to constantly recreate impenetrable computer systems that kept getting hacked by Donatello. It was truly astounding to think about just how much the turtle did for the team. Even if his ninja skills weren't on par with his brothers, they were still nothing to scoff at. This turtle was truly talented.

It hit Osamu like a tsunami. The sudden realization why this turtle never left his thoughts.

Donatello was responsible for the technological part of the clan. Though untraditional, it greatly helped the team in so many ways. If Osamu could get his hands on such talent, there would be absolutely no one that could over power his clan. He could easily defeat those who stood for violence and those who caused dishonor. The possibilities would be endless.

As Osamu kneeled in the woods that day, ideas of his clan's rise to power and the downfall of others raced through his mind. Each one more exciting than the last. Each one ending with him living his best life with no more torment. A plan started to form in Osamu's mind. One that he never thought he would come up with. If Donatello was on his side, not only would his clan grow stronger, but the Hamato Clan would surely fall.

Alas, Osamu knew that the bond of the turtles was as strong as they came. There was no doubt that Donatello would refuse any offers he sent for recruitment. There was a part of Osamu that really didn't want to force the turtle into the position he saw fit. No, Osamu would be damned if he became anything like Saki. Either a different approach was needed or the plan would have to be scrapped completely.

The following months, Osamu established a pretty big headquarters for his clan in Japan. It was a tall building that looked normal to the untrained eye. There were many floors that had a pretty good capacity. It was the perfect building and would offer great protection when needed. Though, Osamu couldn't shake the thought about Donatello's abilities.

Even has he sat on the abandoned building, thoughts of the passive turtle played through his mind on an endless loop.

Osamu's mind drifted back from the past as he focused on the present. He had just left Japan and was back in New York. Preparing to establish a second headquarters where he would begin his plan to take down the Foot and the Hamato Clan.

He gazed at the dark rooftops, his eyes wondering when he caught a glimpse of figures he didn't see for years.

The turtles.

The terrapins were only a few buildings away from where he sat. Osamu assumed that he had unknowingly chosen a location that was apparently a stomping ground for the mutants.

"And irony strikes again." He muttered.

He observed their antics, like his previous years when he acted as a scout. The two oldest were engaged in what appeared to be a steady growing argument, most likely about something trivial as always. The youngest was assuming the position of a referee as the turtles' human friends, Casey and April watched with amusement. However, Donatello was sitting on the sidelines, practically invisible. Memories came back to Osamu, memories of Donatello quiet as ever, sticking to the sidelines. Whenever his moment came to voice his opinion, often ignored or interrupted from his use of complex vocabulary. Osamu recalled moments during battles where the two oldest brothers put relentless pressure on the teen to solve any technical problems, even if Donatello was inexperienced, the brutal force of the brother's words held no sympathy.

Osamu shook his head in disbelief. Did the brother not even realize how much their younger brother did? Did they fail to notice the pressure and overly high expectations that were put on Donatello's shoulders? Also, how often does it occur? How often is Donatello isolating himself when not on the surface? All these questions with no answers made Osamu feel empathetic towards the ninja. All this time, Osamu had looked at the turtles with hatred, the exception of looking at Donatello with curiosity, but nonetheless, growing hatred. Yet, as he observed the turtle, there was nothing more that Osamu wanted to do than comfort the boy.

Could. . .could that be the solution to his desires?

'If I show him all that his brothers have not and so much more...could that be enough to convince him? Could I then persuade him?' Osamu thought.

Although his desire held some selfishness, Osamu's original thoughts of using him were masked by his want to truly help the teen. So much of the turtle's potential was being ignored and taken for granted with little to know appreciation it seemed. Why, if Osamu had a person with Donatello's capabilities, he would never let it go to waste or spend a day without the reminder of his deep gratitude.

But would it be enough? Would giving Donatello unconditional love and support be enough to drive him away from his family? No. Osamu wasn't a fool. Even if all he pointed out was true, he knew of Donatello's heart and loyalty was as big as Saki's hatred. It would take much more than that to sever the bond. Much much more.

"Osamu?" Katsumi appeared out of nowhere, keeping her voice to a whisper as she saw the turtles weren't that far.

Katsumi was twenty one, her dark wavy hair tied into a ponytail made her look beautiful in the moonlight but her beauty was a perfect cover to hide her great ninja skills. She had grown alongside Osamu, knowing him from when they were kids. They're families were tightly woven together, at least before they're families were killed. Katsumi had managed to survive and with great effort built the base for the Bushi Clan.

"Katsumi, what're you doing here?"

"I came looking for you, although I didn't expect you here." She said, sitting beside her friend.

After a few awkward moments of silence, Katsumi spoke again.

"You've seemed off Osamu. Ever since we came to New York, you always look distracted."

"I'm sorry if I worried you, I've been thinking about the turtles. At least, one turtle in particular." He said as he pointed his finger towards Donatello.

"Any reason why?" Katsumi asked skeptically.

"Yes, I believe he is the key for our clan to rise to power. His intelligence is unmatched. He is skilled with all sorts of sciences and has the ability to create inventions out of junk and broken parts. With him, we would be unstoppable." Osamu bragged as he eyed Donatello. The turtle was looking over the fight that had broken out between his brother and apparently their friend Casey had joined in on the madness. Michelangelo and April were in a conversation, paying no attention to the fight or the purple banded brother. Osamu could see from the turtle's body language that something was amiss. He was droopy and looked unenergized despite the fact that he was barely doing anything.

"Osamu. . .please tell me that's not all. Using people is exactly what the the Shre-"

"I'm NOTHING like Saki." Osamu snapped, still keeping his voice at a whisper's volume. "Yes, I will admit that at first that's what I wanted, at least until I realized that there's more going on than meets the eye. This turtle, Donatello, is different from his brothers. He doesn't draw his strength physically but meantally. His mind is unlike anything else I've ever seen. Though, his brothers seem oblivious to the talent. From my experiences, they put him under intense pressure and even take his gifts from granted."

"That sounds awful." Katsumi commented, being weary of her friend's intentions. To her, Osamu did things out of good intentions. His methods, strange as they were, never led to the result of corruption. Katsumi really wanted to believe that this conversation was going in the right way, but she kept her guard up. If at any point Osamu strayed into territories that were unlike him, Katsumi would intervene. Ever since her friend came back from the Foot, there was a change to him, His personality was darker and his goals slowly grew further away than his original goals.

"Yes, and it definitely shows. Just look at him. There's something wrong mentally and I want to help. I want to show him the true abuse he's being subjected to and introduce him to a better life that I'll give him."

"Are you sure he'll want that? I mean, I get why he could be of good use, but they just lost their father and just succeeded in defeating their enemy. Maybe it's just him mourning. . ."

"I see your point, and yes I know of their father's passing. With that factor in mind, it makes it all the more clear why we should do this. I can tell he's not truly happy, and it seems his brothers don't notice. Donatello could just be clinging to a fake sense of happiness. As for their father, with his passing, who's to notice Donatello's distress? Who's to support him when his brother's overly use him? Don't you see Katsumi? I want to show him this fake happiness and hope that he's clinging to. I want to show him a better reality."

"I understand," Katsumi said, not as worried as she previously was, "but how are you going to show him?"

"It won't be pretty and I'm going to need you to trust me. If Donatello refuses the offer, I believe I will only get through to him with physical tactics."

"Are you suggesting torturing him?" Katsumi said with a sudden alarm.

"To simplify it, yes. But please understand it will only help the boy. There's a method to it. I promise. Now, please, organize a private jet for Japan. I believe that'll be the perfect spot to begin this plan. Please trust me on this Katsumi."

"Okay, I will trust you. Please be careful my friend." Katsumi bowed her head. She looked at the turtles one last time, hoping that her leader was right, before leaving the building and disappearing into the shadows.

Osamu looked at the turtles as well. The group seemed to be done for the night as they slowly made their descent to the sewers. Unaware of Osamu's presence. . .

'Donatello, forgive me for the pain I'm going to cause you. I promise child, it's for your own good. Whether you want to or not, it's for your own good.'

To be continued...

Chapter Text

"Donnie, are you in there?" Leonardo asked, gently knocking on the heavy steel doors that led to his second youngest brother's laboratory. A heavy sigh escaped Leo as he was met with no response.

Three months. It had been three full months since the passing of the turtles' beloved father and Sensei. During their last battle with the mutated Shredder, there was a brief second where time moved painfully still. Splinter wasn't looking and in a quick second, was impaled before falling to his death. The moment was ingrained in everyone's mind. The funeral was even harder. It was the confirmation that he wasn't coming back. There was no Fugitoid, no way to travel back and time and stop the dreaded moment. The fate of their father was sealed.

The mourning that followed was unlike anything the turtles and their friends ever faced. There's been times, other events where they thought they lost their father or close friends, but there was always the slightest bit of hope. Their previous mourning processes were easier to work through because of that constant light of hope. This mourning was different. There was no hope.

Michelangelo, the youngest of the bunch, known for his silly antics and positive energy became quiet and held no spark of light in the first weeks of the death. Leo recalled the nights of hearing Mikey begging the spirits to bring their father back. He will never stop hearing Mikey's painful sobs throughout the night as he did his best to comfort his baby brother.

'At least one brother is showing some signs of emotion.' Leo had thought.

The next week that followed, Mikey seemed to be showing some signs of healing. At least, Leo had hoped he was. His baby brother started focusing his attention on his artistry skills, taking up more time painting and cooking. It made Leo deeply appreciate his brother's creative ability and how he was able to express himself.

'If only it were like that with Raph and Donnie.'

Raphael, Leo's immediate younger brother, had become full of anger and rage after the events of their father. He was either in his room or out topside with Casey. As much as Leo wanted to condone his brother, he knew he couldn't. The rare moments that Leo caught glimpses of Raph was when his brother was beating the life out of the punching bag or training in the dojo. The look on Raph's face was full of pain and anger. Leo hardly ever heard a word that wasn't spoken with force from his brother after everything. It wasn't until Mikey started showing signs of healing that Raph spent less time on the surface and would join the family for meals and small training sessions. The hothead became a little less hot headed and focused his attention on spending time with his brothers. Again, Leo couldn't help but feel relieved.

With Splinter being gone, that meant that Leo had become the head of the household. He now held full responsibility for his brothers and the rest of his team. He had to keep Splinter's lessons in his heart as the clan moved forward. It was scary and intimidating but Leo would rather take it than leave one of his brothers to carry the heavy burden. After the death of his father, Leo spent many hours meditating and training. He knew he had to be the rock his brothers needed. It took him a while but like his other two brothers, Leo could feel his wounded spirit heal.

Though, not everyone was the same way.

'Donnie. . .'

Leo knocked again on his little brother's door. Again, no answer came.

It was painfully obvious that the smartest brother wasn't on the same path as his other brothers. When Splinter died, Donnie became even more secluded than usual. The genius always had a tendency to shut people out when he was struggling emotionally. He'd rather figure out the problem himself than feel like a burden to others. It was ironic in a way. In a drop of hat, Donatello was there to lend a helping hand. It didn't matter if he was working on something else, his brothers came before anything else. That's just how he worked. Donnie's heart was as big as they came. His gentle spirit and crazy intelligence always got the brothers out of crazy messes. His soft personality acted as the perfect confidant whenever the brothers needed someone.

'But who's his confidant?'

With Leo and his brothers focusing on their healing, along with Karai, April, and Casey's mourning, there was no one focusing on the purple banded brother. It was no wonder that Donnie rarely excited his lab. The times that he did, he didn't say anything. He avoided meals and never showed up for training sessions.

Leo's mind drifted back to the previous week.

He had yet another nightmare about Shredder and his brothers' deaths. They were getting more graphic and more extreme as they continued. When Leo was awoken, he checked on each of his brothers to make sure that all the events he had seen were merely the cause of another nightmare. Not surprising, Leo had found Donnie absent from his bed with the lab lights on.

Donnie had made the mistake of leaving his lab unlocked. Leo and Raph had both immediately noticed and rushed in, only to see their little brother passed out on his desk. The oldest turtles made a plan for getting Donnie on the path to healing and Leo had made a silent vow that no matter what, he was going to help Donnie work through his depression.

Leo didn't know how long he let his little brother suffer from the mental illness, all he knew was that he had enough of letting Donnie handle everything on his own.

All Leo needed was for Donnie to open the door.

"Please Donnie, I just want to talk, please little brother." He pleaded.

"Ummm...Leo?"

Leo turned his head around in a second and felt his cheeks flush. The brother that he had just spent twenty minutes trying to convince to let him in was right behind the leader in blue.

Leo let out a nervous chuckle before promptly clearing his throat.

"Oh, h-hey Donnie, I was just uh. . ." Leo stuttered, failing to find an excuse that would save him from this humiliation.

"Is there something you need?" Donnie asked, keeping his voice soft and his expression unreadable. It made Leo silently curse. Of course he finally gets the chance to have a conversation with Donnie and like the puzzle he is, Donnie's hid away any trace of emotions.

"Actually yes, there is something." Leo responded, straightening up.

"O-okay" Donnie said with a hint of anxiety. He moved past Leo and opened up the lab doors.

Leo had to stop himself from gasping. The normal brightly lit lab was consumed in darkness. In a corner Leo could see broken beakers and ripped papers. Donnie was always so picky about his lab and keeping it organized that it was mind boggling to Leo why half of it would be littered and destroyed. Donnie walked over to his desktop and sat down on his computer chair, keeping his back facing Leo.

Leo looked over his brother, his heart clenching at the sight. Donnie looked so depressed it hurt Leo. He would give anything to see the gleam in Donnie's deep maroon eyes.

"Please, make it quick Leo. I-I have a lot of work to do. . ." Donnie said in a broken whisper.

"Donnie. . .I-"

"DONNIE!" The excited voice of Mikey broke through the quiet atmosphere. The youngest brother suddenly ran into the lab, encircling his genius brother into a big hug.

Donnie weakly smiled.

"It feels like it's been forever since I've seen you D!" Mikey exclaimed with excitement.

Like his oldest brothers, Mikey had also grown worried for his immediate older brother. Seeing Donnie shut them all out was nothing short of depressing. Mikey wished his brother would let them help him. Donnie was Mikey's best friend and Mikey was going to do all he could to help.

"H-hey Mikey. . ."

"Are you coming with us on patrol tonight?" Mikey asked with anticipation.

Ever so slowly the turtles and their friends resumed their normal patrol routines. With their biggest enemies defeated, there wasn't much left for them to fight. At least for now. They had their first patrol last week and by some miracle they were able to convince Donnie to come. The patrol ended early though. Leo and Raph had gotten into a petty argument about who knows what and disrupted the night. Still, it was nice for all of them to get out.

"If it really means a lot to you Mikey, I'll come." Donnie said, patting his brother on the head. Donnie would do anything to make Mikey smile. Even through his seclusion he noticed how Mikey wasn't anything like his normal self. Donnie did his best to hide away his feelings and comfort his baby brother but with his own inner demons, it made it nearly impossible for the smart brother not to break down. Hence, the seclusion. So if going topside was going to make Mikey smile, Donnie would muster up his strength, hide away his emotions, and join.

"Aww yeah!" Mikey smiled and exited the lab, no doubt on his way to brag about what he just did.

Leo couldn't help but smile too. Mikey was just Mikey. Of course he would notice the lab doors open and immediately rush in, not even questioning what was going on, and just engulf Donnie in a hug. That's just how he was.

Leo's smile faded as he looked over at his second youngest sibling. Donnie, yet again, had turned his shell towards Leo, not focusing on anything in particular.

"Don, about earlier, I want to talk about-"

Like before, Leo was cut off, but not by Mikey.

"We better get ready. Don't want to keep Mikey waiting. That's just asking for disaster." Donnie let out an emotionless laugh and before Leo could stop him, Donnie left the lab and walked off to his room

The leader swore. Donnie could be just as stubborn as Raph and it was infuriating. Especially since Donnie's clever brain made it easy for him to dodge uncomfortable situations. With reluctance, Leo exited the lab. He looked over to the living room, Casey and Raph were in a wrestle match. April and Karai were in their own separate conversation and Mikey was bouncing off the walls so to speak. Donnie, having come from his bedroom, was leaning on the couch, absentmindedly scrolling through his T-Phone.

'Oh father, please help us. I fear if Donnie doesn't start letting us in, we'll lose him too. What am I going to do? I could really use your advice.'

It was at that moment Leo felt a sick feeling enter his gut. It was so strong and only lasted for a couple of seconds. Leo looked at himself in confusion. He received gut feelings before but none as strong as this one. It was a feeling of dread. Leo gazed over his family and saw that April had a similar look. She looked just as confused and worried. Maybe patrol wasn't such a good idea. .

"Yo Leo, can we go now?" Raph asked, having just beaten Casey.

Everyone turned their attention to Leo wondering the same thing. Leo was about to call off when he saw the look of his youngest brother. Mikey was fully focused on Donnie, a sweet smile plastered on his face. As much as Leo wanted to cancel, he couldn't pass up the opportunity for his youngest brothers to spend some time together. Leo even planned on getting his own personal time with Donnie. With his mind made up, Leo motioned for his family to follow him out.

Unaware that this night was going to change everything. . .

The New York sky was clear, revealing what little stars could be seen past the lights of the city. The moon, in it's crescent shape, shined over the rooftops, yet barely illuminating what lurked in the dark shadows underneath. The cold, wispy air of the night, kissed those who were subjected to the outside world.

The turtles along their human allies passed through the shadows of the night, quiet as the darkness that surrounded them. Once each one had exited the sewers, each made their own way to the top of the nearest structure, being mindful of their surroundings and keeping their presences silent. Well, at least almost silent.

"All I'm saying is that if it wasn't for having to be quiet and be all stealthy, I could totally beat you guys." Casey Jones said smugly. Having been the last one to arrive on the building, the arrogant teen immediately worked up an excuse defending his obvious lack of skill.

April rolled her eyes in unison with the others, "Maybe if you actually trained you wouldn't have such a hard time keeping up." April commented with the same smug that her friend had implied. In all honesty, April fully enjoyed making such a similar comment to her friend that the turtles had made to her when she first started her training. It took the redhead longer than she wanted but thanks to her kraang abilities, she was able to somewhat catch up with the turtles, at least enough so she could handle herself without the need of the others.

"You're just saying that cause you know I'm right." Casey crossed his arms with a smirk.

"Or she's saying that because it's a nice way of saying that you're a real bonehead." Raph said, hitting his friend in the back of the head, a common gesture from the red masked terrapin.

"Whatever." Casey scoffed.

Leo facepalmed. This was their second patrol and already they were assuming their usual antics. Yes, they didn't have many enemies at the moment but something was nagging Leo. The ninja senses, as Mikey dubbed them, were creating an anxious feeling in the pit of his gut. The sooner they finished patrol and got home, the better.

Looking over his team, Leo saw that Casey and Raphael were seconds away from a confrontation. April and Karai were silently talking, most likely about the annoyance of the situation. Opposite of the girls, Mikey lost all sense of stealth. His voice boomed through the rooftop and surrounding buildings. The youngest was excitedly talking to his immediate older brother about some new pizza recipes he was eager to create, making Leo slightly shudder. His baby brother really started to improve on his culinary skills, yet there were some concoctions that were painfully ingrained into Leo's taste buds, not that he'd ever admit so. Like Leo said, Mikey was really coming through with his cooking that nearly every meal he created was better than the previous.

"I'm thinking about experimenting with different cheeses, ya know? Maybe like three cheeses in one? And I could have toppings that compliment all the different flavors!" The youngest turtle giggles with excitement. Hoping to get a reaction from his brother.

Donatello gazed down at Mikey, giving him an encouraging smile. The genius turtle gently rubbed Mikey's head, keeping his body language controlled and his expression positive.

"Mikey, that sounds great. I would love to try it." Donnie stated. Despite the inner turmoil that was wracking Donnie's insides, he truly meant what he said. He knew his baby brother looked up to him and he would be shelled if he'd let his emotions damper Mikey's excitement and creativity. It was one of the only things that made the purple brother smile. So yes, even if three cheeses in one pizza didn't sound completely appetizing to Donatello's already picky appetite, he would eat it in a heartbeat.

"You're the best D!" Mikey exclaimed, giving his brother the fifth hug within the same hour.

Leo smiled at the sight of his youngest brothers. It was as sight for sore eyes to see the close brothers having a sweet moment after all the grief they each were enduring. It was so sweet, it made Leo hate himself for what he was going to do.

"Alright guys, let's pair up." Leo cleared his voice. Not only would paring up make the patrol go by faster but it would also be the perfect opportunity the leader had been looking for for some one on one time with Donnie.

"Whatever you say Leader." Karai said in a relaxed tone. The others gave their consent for the call, gathering themselves up.

"Good. Karai, and Raph. Mikey, you with April and Casey. I'll take-"

"But," Mikey interrupted, holding Donnie's arm tightly, "I wanna go with Donnie." Not wanting to waste any of the precious time Mikey was getting from his reclusive brother, Mikey held onto his brother in a tight grip.

"Not tonight knucklehead." Raph said in a surprisingly nice tone. Unknown to everyone except Leo, Raph knew what his oldest brother intended to do. Leo and Raph had made the decision last week that they would put Donnie's emotional health first and do whatever it took to help him. So if that meant creating a situation where Donnie couldn't get out of talking, Raph would make sure that it happened.

Without letting Mikey respond or pull out the famous 'puppy dog eyes' Raph dragged his brother over to Casey and April.

"I'll take Donnie." Leo clarified, looking over at his second youngest brother. Donatello did his best to stifle a groan. Of course. He should've known he couldn't avoid the conversation his older brother had in store for him. For a genius, Donnie could really miss the obvious. Donnie looked to his other two brothers. Raph had the same look Leo had, making Donnie question if his older brother had anything to do with this. Mikey was dejectedly standing beside Casey. Donnie so wished he could've tagged along with Mikey. Not only would it mean he didn't have to talk about feelings, Donnie genuinely just enjoyed seeing his youngest brother.

With only Mikey and Donnie hating the pairing, everyone gave a respected bow to the Leader in blue before each separated in their assigned groups.

Leo took a deep breath as he walked over to Donnie.

"So Don, do you want to check the east side?" Leo asked softly.

"Leo, we both know you paired us together with no intent to actually patrol the city so please can we just get this over with?" Donnie said with more irritation than Leo expected.

Donnie turned his back to his brother, informing Leo that the information Leo wanted wasn't going to come easily. Donnie was fully intent on keeping his feelings locked away from Leo. Like he always did. He would handle this on his own. Like he always did. He WOULD solve this. Like he always d-

"Donnie, I just want to help you." Leo said, getting straight to the point. "I know that Splinter's death really hurt you. I can't imagine what grief it's caused you. Obviously it's enough that you have barely recovered from it. Please Donnie, just talk to me."

"Leo, I've told you time and time again. I'm fine. I'm going to continue being fine. I really don't need you to do this." Donnie said, barely keeping his voice from breaking.

That was it, that was the last straw for Leo. He had heard the same thing every time he asked Donnie that question but Leo knew it was all a lie. Leo knew Donnie was keeping himself up at night. He knew Donnie was putting himself in harm's way. Leo just wanted to know why. Why was his brother hurting himself?

"You're not fine Donnie! I'm sick and tired of you saying that when it's clearly not true! For shell's sake you passed out in your lab last week from a fever! You're obviously ignoring your basic needs and for what? FOR WHAT DONNIE?!"

Donnie, taken aback from Leo's outburst, looked down at his feet. He knew that one of his brother's had found out he had passed out in his lab. He had mistakenly left the door unlocked, granting access to anyone. When he awoke in his bed the next morning, his brothers had made the mistake of leaving him alone, giving him the perfect opportunity to sneak back into his lab, once again shutting everyone out.

"Y-You wouldn't understand. . .please L-Leo, j-just leave it a-alone. . ." Donnie choked out, failing to keep his emotions at bay. Tears began wheeling up in the turtle's eyes.

Leo shook his head. Not at his brother but at himself. His brother's voice was so frail and broken. How long had Donnie been feeling this way? This couldn't just be from Splinter's death. No, it had to be more. Leo carefully walked over to his brother and gently gripped his shoulder.

"Then help me understand Don, let me help."

"I can handle this on my own Leonardo." Donnie stated. He crossed his arms, hoping that a more firm stance would help keep Leo and his pestering questions away.

"Obviously you can't Donnie! Maybe in the past you could but just shutting everyone out is going to work this time."

"So what? Now you suddenly care about my feelings? I'm not some tot that needs his big brother, Leo! I've handled everything on my own before this and I'll do it again!" Donnie yelled. Try as he might he could feel tears prick his eyes. The tough exterior was faltering and he was just so done with everything. He was done with feelings, he was done with Leo acting like he mattered. . .

"Donnie. . .I know I pushed you aside in the past. . .please just let me in. Let me help you for once. . ." Leo responded softly, seeing that Donnie was losing his internal struggle.

Donnie bowed his head, keeping his eyes away from his brother's. The genius turtle was at his breaking point. After months of hiding from everyone and concealing his emotions to himself, Donnie couldn't help the overflow of emotions.

"Fine, you want the truth? I'm nothing but a screw up!" Donnie suddenly yelled. The genius turtle couldn't believe what was happening, but once he started, he couldn't stop.

"Let's see, should I start off with the amount of times I've failed? Metalhead, the missile rocket staff, curing Karai, curing Timothy! Shell, even my turtle mech couldn't withstand Kraang Prime. Oh yeah, my famous turtle mech. I was such an idiot believing in it than your plan. Then I had to go and screw up further with that stupid medicine that almost made us lose Raph. Should I go on? Should I mention how angry I made Raph that caused him to get pummeled by Vizioso's goons? Gee that was a good time, letting Mondo and myself get captured and almost dissected from my incompetence. What about when April scattered me across half the city? If only I had tried harder, like you had told me with Karai, she wouldn't have gotten possessed. Then to top everything off, Splinter dies. . .I couldn't. . .I'm the genius, the medic, the turtle with the answers. I couldn't s-stop it. I couldn't s-save him, Leo. Just like with the triceratons. . .I failed."

Donnie couldn't keep the sobs down, with everything he was feeling out in the open, there was nothing keeping him breaking down.

Leo had to take several moments to himself to keep his own composer. For years his little brother had been suffering in silence, taking events that he believed he was the cause of and burying them inside his unforgiving mind. Leo looked over at his brother, seeing Donnie shaking as he let his sobs take over. Leo couldn't help but let a few tears escape. When his brother had needed him most, Leo wasn't there. Too focused on his own agenda, Leo never took the time to look back on those events and consider if his brother was upset. But Leo knew why. Donnie was always a master at hiding everything, letting everyone assume that he was okay and held no negative feelings.

I'm such an idiot

Not spending another minute yelling at himself, Leo pulled Donnie closer to him, enveloping the genius turtle into a tight hug.

"Donnie, have you been torturing yourself with all those events?"

"Little brother, you are everything but a screw up. Everything that you said, they either weren't your fault or it wasn't completely. Donnie, metalhead was a beautiful invention, it was the kraang's fault that he was corrupted but it was you who shut him down. It's my fault that he's no longer with us. I should've had faith in you then assume the worst. With Timothy, you did all you could to save him Don. I encouraged him to stay in the foot and it was him that caused his mutation, not you. And Don, please don't believe you failed Karai. You did your absolute best and I should've encouraged you instead of pushing you past your already broken limits. As for Vizioso, Raph was the one who ultimately decided to leave. Then with April. . .Like with Timothy, you did everything you could to help April. It was her that chose the crystal, but it was you who saved her in the end.

"Donnie, you were in no way responsible for Splinter's death. If there was a way to save him, I know if there was a way for him to be saved, you would've found one. You're amazing Donnie. Your mind is truly a wonder that has gotten us out of more situations than one. You've saved us and so many others Donatello. Your gentle heart and pacifist nature keeps us together. Please, let me and the others save you for once. I love you so much Otōto.

The sound of Donnie's ever so slowly calming sobs echoed through the night for who knew how long. Leo didn't care. All he cared about was making sure his brother knew everything Leo had said was true. That's all Leo wanted.

"I love you too. . .Aniki." Donnie responded in a voice that tugged on Leo's heartstrings. His brother sounded so much younger, it was nothing short of adorable.

"I promise Donnie, we're gonna help you through this, but you need to let us help you. Can you promise you'll let us?"

"I-I promise." Donnie said, not letting Leo go.

Leo smiled. He continued to clutch Donnie to him. Finally, he had gotten through Donnie's walls. Finally they were all going to heal together, as a family.

As Leo held onto his little brother, thinking that nothing could ruin this moment, the same feeling of dread he received earlier that night returned. Only now, Leo knew why.

"Donnie, I hate to break this up but we need to get out of here. Now." Leo said with much urgency, swearing to himself that he saw something lurking in the shadows.

Luckily, Donnie rarely questioned his orders. He rose to his feet, as Leo grabbed his wrist, leading him to the nearby fire escape.

Once we get into the sewers, I'll call the others. It'll be okay Leo. Donnie and I just need to get to the sewers.

Leo's simple plan came to a halt when the two turtles were suddenly surrounded by a large group of unfamiliar ninjas. Leo and Donnie had never seen these ninjas before, nor they wanted to see how strong they were.

"Leo, what's the plan?" Donnie asked, pulling out his bo.

Leo, pulling out his twin katanas, looked at the ninjas. For some reason, he felt this would not be a fight easily won.

Like ninety-nine percent of the time, Leo was right. . .

Chapter Text

The air grew colder than it already was if it was even possible. The usual loud noises that erupted from the city had seemed to disappear, leaving an uncomfortable silence in its path. The night was so quiet Donatello was positive if a pin dropped, it would be loud and clear for everyone to hear. It was unsettling, no, it was terrifying. Donnie gapped at how many silhouettes were scattered around him and his brother. If his calculations were correct, which they most likely were, there were thirty soldiers. That was only the ones that he could see. Something told the smart turtle that there were way more lurking around the surrounding rooftops. But why? Who even were these soldiers?

They obviously were some group of ninjas judging by their familiar weaponry and clothing. Yet, Donnie had no memory of this group. They definitely weren't Foot soldiers. There was no sign of the foot symbol and their overall fashion consisted of more of a cream color than a black one. Not to mention that Karan disbanded and recreated the past clan. Meaning that this had to be a whole new group of ninjas. Judging by what he could see of their facial expression and the way the ninjas were anxiously waiting to pull out their weapons, Donnie knew these guys weren't here for a tea party. Though, if by chance they were, Leo had a pretty good idea about how those go so at least they would have somewhat proper etiquette.

'You really think they're here for a tea party?'

Donnie mentally cursed at himself. These guys look to have no intention of making friends but they did look highly skilled. Never one to judge a book by it's cover, Donnie made an exception with these guys. He gripped his bo ever so slightly, calming his harsh breathing, and looked over to his brother.

Leonardo, like Donnie had been, was assessing the group. His brother's grip on his katana's was firm and his posture was steady, but ready to jump into action. Over the years, Donatello had developed a pretty good sense of each of his brother's body language, especially during a fight. While he himself was more steady, spending most of the fight analyzing his opponent, his brothers differed. Mikey was one that never waited to get into a fight unless instructed to. The youngest brother's fast moving thinking kept him full of energy and made him unpredictable. Whereas with Raphael, he charged into a fight from his burning anger and passion of fighting. Then there was Leonardo. Donatello had noticed that his oldest brother was more like him than his other two siblings. Leonardo valued patience and did his best to understand and plan out a fight before placing himself into it. Henceforth as to why the turtle in blue hadn't made a motion or given an order.

There's an expression, Donatello recalled, there's always calm before the storm. This was definitely a calm before a storm. A big one.

Then it began.

The soldiers had apparently waited long enough or grew bored because it took a second for half the fleet that was perched on the rooftop with the two turtles to attack.

Donnie and Leo raised their weapons to the upcoming enemies. Before Donnie could fully analyze the soldiers that were preparing their frontal strikes, one appeared at his right side carrying a wakizashi blade. Donnie made a quick dodge, barely avoiding the strikes. Since he couldn't assess all the ninjas that were attacking, Donnie decided fighting back was the best option right now. He gave his bo a spin and jabbed it at the stomach of the soldier that had attacked from the side. The soldier doubled back from the harsh strike. Donatello didn't have a second to breathe as the two previous soldiers came at him again. One came in directly as the other came in from behind. With a yell, Donnie kicked the stomach and swept the front soldier's feet. Without hesitation the turtle spun and blocked the upcoming Dao strike. Using his strength, Donnie was able to force the soldier on his knees before delivering a swift hit to the soldier's side.

Donnie looked over the chaos and spotted Leo not too far from him. His brother was facing four guys at once and in a seemingly effortless kata, was able to knock all of them down.

'So they're not trying to really separate us. . .could they be trying to tire us out, no, then they would send in more soldiers at once. . .'

Donatello, lost in thought, was kicked harshly from his shell and forced onto the ground. Luckily, his shell was like a shield, making the pain minimal but the situation wasn't any better.

'Um, not really the best time to contemplate things, focus genius!'

Donatello raised in bo just in time to block a tanto. The ninja wasted no time in going in for another strike. Strike after strike, Donnie was barely able to block as he still forced onto the ground. The ninja readied himself for another strike, giving Donatello the perfect opportunity to use his staff to knock the soldier down by the legs. With his new advantage, Donnie kicked the soldier aside. The turtle quickly ducked as more soldiers came into his view, throwing a dozen shurikens near his head. The shurikens were easy to dodge much to Donnie's confusion. These soldiers didn't give him time to think more about his inquiry. It wasn't long before Donnie was surrounded by five soldiers. Two had identical bo's with large naginata blades. The other two each carried a katana and the last carried a pair of kamas. It took the genius a couple seconds to picture his moves and a second later he executed it.

Going offensive, Donnie went after the ninja with the kama. The ninja was fast but Donnie's past experiences made him faster. He jumped as the ninja charged, avoiding the close rage weapon. As he descended, Donnie helicopter spun his bo, coming across his body, Donnie shifted his staff and striked the ninja in the head.

With one down, Donnie turned his attention to the katana soldiers. With a spinning back kick he took one down and with an up strike of his bo, the other fell. Letting himself breathe, Donnie failed to notice an upcoming strike.

"GAH!" He cried as one of the remaining ninjas slashed their naginata blade across his forearm. Blood pooled from the painful wound. The Doctor Don quickly got to work assessing the injury. The wound isn't deep but it definitely needed stitches.

"DONNIE!" Leo shouted, having only heard his little brother's scream.

Donnie, still assessing his injury, nearly got a matching wound as he quickly dodged another attack. Despite his injury, Donnie readied himself and dodged the opposing jabs. His teeth gritted from the pain, his mind playing through all the different scenarios , this fight could go. The majority of those outcomes didn't end so well. . .It was during fights like these where Donatello cursed his overactive mind.

"I'm good," Donnie responded, remembering that his brother had heard his pain. The genius looked over the increasing soldiers' heads in search of his oldest brother. Donnie found that Leo was even further than before, close to the edge of the rooftop. From Donnie's view, Leo didn't look like he had many injuries, but from the looks of it, it wasn't long before the leader in blue would fall under the same predicament.

Not a second longer and Donnie cursed his already terrible turtle luck. . .

It was faint, but Donnie could hear a sharp cry emanating from his brother. Donnie tried to look at the damage but his own group of adversaries blocked him from his brother's figure. The purple brother glared at his enemies. His brotherly instincts heightened and he became filled with more adrenaline than before. With his adrenaline pumping, his pain depleting, Donnie prepared a full scale fight inside his brain and put it into motion.

Three soldiers charged at his front, four from both sides. If Donnie's hypothesis was correct, his little plan should work. He back flipped, avoiding the side attacks, and landed with his bo ready to strike the soldiers at his front. With a complex sequence of jabs and strikes, Donnie was able to disarm and defeat the soldiers.

Panting heavily, Donnie couldn't help but groan from the amount of soldiers there were. He had originally counted thirty but from the looks of it there were at least twice as many. From what information Donnie had gathered, and the obvious fact they were outnumbered, a strategy was needed.

"DONNIE RETREAT!" Leonardo stained his voice, alerting his brother what the new plan was.

Leo clutched his shoulder as he escaped to the next building. When the leader had heard the anguish cry of his brother, it was the perfect distraction for the soldiers. They had gotten the advantage, striking him in his right shoulder. The wound ached and the blood loss wasn't good, but from his previous history with injuries, it wasn't deep. That's what was making Leo's head shake the most.

He wasn't surprised in the least that there was a new group of ninjas. It made perfect sense considering how crazy and messed up life was. What confused Leo the most was the fact that these soldiers were holding back. They weren't attacking at full force. If they were, Leo was fairly certain him and Donnie would've been defeated by now. Something was up and it made Leo's stomach churn. If the soldiers had no intent of ending his and Donnie's life then what did they want? Did they just want to warn them of their arrival and threat? Or was it something more?

Hence the reason he called a retreat. If there was something these soldiers wanted, Leo didn't want to waste another second waiting to find out. Leo had to figure out some way to get out of this situation. Both him and Donnie had injuries that needed treatment as soon as possible.

Leo spotted Donnie jumping to the building he was currently posted at. He saw the blood dripping off of his brother and his big brother mode was activated. Yet, Leo had no time to look over his brother. The group of ninjas followed the brothers and the pursuit began. Leo grabbed his brother's uninjured arm and guided him to the next building. Leo hated running away, almost as much as Raph, but there was no other alternative.

"Donnie, can you call Raph?" Leo asked in urgency, it was unlikely they would be able to get to safety. They needed backup.

Donnie nodded, taking his arm from Leo's grasp to pull out his T-Phone. He made the mistake of looking behind him and gulped. The whole fleet was behind them, quickly gaining distance. With shaky hands, Donnie pushed Raph's icon, sticking to Leo's pace. The brothers jumped onto another building as Raph picked up the phone.

"Hey Donnie, everything good?" Raph asked in a casual manner.

"RAPH, LEO AND I ARE BEING AMBUSHED BY A NEW GROUP OF NINJAS WE NEED BACKUP!" Donnie yelled, not caring about the volume of his voice.

"WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?!" Not caring about the fear he let escape through his voice.

"WE"RE-" Leo yanked Donnie to his side as a group of shurikens flew at them. Besides a few grazes, they were able to avoid the strike. As for Donnie's T-Phone. . .

A shuriken had impaled the genius's beloved device, rendering it useless.

"Shell" Leo cursed, pulling out his own T-phone and handing it to his brother as they scaled to the next building. He knew they couldn't run forever. Their energy wasn't at full capacity and it seemed the group hadn't even broken a sweat.

The phone lit up and began it's ringing, showing Raph's icon. Donnie quickly pressed on it.

"LEO WHERE THE SHELL ARE YOU?!" Raph's distressed voice broke out.

"We're by the corner of Eastman and Laird. Leo and I are both injured but it's nothing serious." Donnie managed to say through his harsh breathing. It was only a matter of time before they couldn't rely on running.

"I'm coming little brother. Don't worry." Raph said, hoping his words were comforting.

"Raphie. . ." Donnie weakly stated before Leo's T-phone fell from his hand. Leo had pushed Donnie ahead of him as a ninja striked where Donnie had just been. There was no choice now. The brothers became surrounded. With the hope that help was on the way, Donnie and Leo nodded to each other before raising their weapons and engaging in the fight.

With their injuries hindering them, the two brothers made sure to stay close to one another. The fight raged on. Leonardo was finding it harder to dodge and take down these soldiers than the ones from before.

"L-leo, these soldiers, they're n-not, they're holding back, or at least they were." Donnie said through strained gasps of air.

"I agree, "Leo replied, barely missing a katana as it flew over his head, "they're fighting us for a specific reason.

Donnie clenched his fists tighter onto his staff. His death grip began turning his knuckles white. The cold, his injuries, his energy, it was affecting his stamina and making it increasingly difficult for his mind to focus.

All the while the turtle kept telling himself that his brothers were coming. Raph knew where they were. He and Karai would rush while informing Mikey what was happening. They just needed to hold a little longer. With their friends' aid they could have a chance to escape. Then they could lick their wounds and discuss everything. They just needed to keep fighting.

'Just keep fighting, don't die, and then I'll never take my bed for granted ever again,' Donatello thought, longing for his bed that he rarely used anymore unless he was forced there.

Donnie's mind went to autopilot, dodging, jabbing, kicking and punching with all he could. Blades grazed him, bruises began covering his arms. His adrenaline was running thin, making the pain in his injured arm burn in agony. The blood loss was taking a toll making his reaction time decrease dramatically.

'Just a few m-more minutes. . ."

Donnie could feel himself becoming dizzy. He still wondered though. Why the heck wasn't he or his brother dead? Not that he didn't want them to be, but these guys were tough and not friendly. What was keeping these soldiers from injuring them? Oh who. . .?

Donnie couldn't make sense of any of this. He knew Leo was just as confused as he was. Did these guys intend to replace the foot, or where they were under the Shredder's belt? No, if Shredder trained another clan, Karai would've known. She knew all of the Shredder's different organizations. Her, Leo, and her friend Shinigami had even tried to take them down on their own. Donnie cringed at the memory. Leo had snuck out of the lair in the middle of the night but Mikey had woken up and Ice Cream Kitty had revealed what happened. It was a rare night that Donnie had actually gone to bed and he was not happy whatsoever to be woken up. When Mikey had shown his visible fear, Donnie pushed his feelings aside and he was able to track his brother's signal.

As they arrived at Shredder's chemical factory, it took Donnie a minute to figure out why his brother had been there. Explosives littered the factory from head to toe. Donnie saw there was no time to escape and did the only he could to protect his brothers. He shoved them all in a closet before the explosion. Fortunately, his brothers received no major injuries. Unfortunately, Donnie had put himself at risk and suffered from a bad concussion that left him unconscious for a few hours. Luckily Splinter had healed him but after he had woken up, Karai had made the statement she planned on going after Shredder himself.

Donnie winced from the recollection of that night but it proved his point. Karai surely would've known if there was another group of ninjas under Shredder's control. With all these questions festering inside of Donnie's brain he almost missed the sight of a ninja that was sneakily making their way to his brother.

Leo was too busy with his own ninjas to notice the lone prowling ninja, but Donnie didn't. The ninja had a tanto and was rearing to make a deadly strike.

'I was wrong. . .they DO want to kill us.'

At that moment, time stopped. Everything moved in slow motion. Donnie forgot all about waiting for his brothers. Nothing mattered. He used his last bit of energy to push past all the ninjas in his way. If he had focused, Donnie would have noticed that the soldiers created a path to his brother. Alas, Donnie's only thought was his brother. Everything they talked about tonight rang clear in Donnie's mind. Leo promised to save him so Donnie was going to save his brother.

Unbeknownst to Donnie and Leo, this was all part of a plan.

With an angry cry, Donnie locked his eyes on the lone soldier.

"NO!" Donnie yelled. He had no time to ready his weapon for defense. He closed his tightly as he jumped in front of Leo.

Unlike Donnie's prediction, the pain was nowhere near his chest, instead he felt an intense and agonizing pain on his right shin. He fell on the rooftop with a thud and let out a painful scream.

The world slowed for Leo as he turned and saw his brother take a deadly hit for him. Leo's eyes grew wide as he saw the soldier stick it's tanto nearly all the way through his brother's shin. As Donnie fell to the ground, holding his leg, Leo let go all sense of his composure. He felt his rage take over as his body shook of anger. The leader's reaction lasted too long though. The soldiers had taken his reaction and used it against Leo. The moment Leo had gone into shock, several soldiers restrained him. There were three on each arm and two on each leg. Others were doing what they could.

Leo struggled as hard as he could. All he could see was his little brother on the ground, in pain. The soldiers never faltered in their grip. More had to come and aid in restraining the oldest turtle. Leo's overprotective instincts were at full max but with his limbs, his shoulder screaming, he saw that struggle was futile. No matter what he tried, there was nothing he could do to get out of their grip.

The soldier that had injured Donatello came up and knelt down to the young turtle. He forcefully grabbed Donnie's bandana and raised the turtle's head, exposing his neck. The soldier raised his tanto to Donnie's neck, barely a millimeter away from the soft and sensitive skin. Leo could see the fear in his brother's eyes as Donnie gazed up at him from the awkward angle his head was at.

"Let him go." Leo said threateningly, not about to let anything happen to his little brother.

He got no response, only hearing the wind rustling and his own harsh breathing.

"W-What do you want with us?" Donnie asked, not doing a good job at masking his fear.

Again, they were left with no response.

At least, not from any of the soldiers.

"You'll find out soon enough Donatello." A lone figure immersed from the shadows. He towered over the soldiers and the turtles. He was muscular, and was intimidating to say the least. He was covered with heavy armor. He wore no helmet, revealing his face to the turtles. His dark hair brushed over his face and his dark eyes gleamed with something fierce.

"How d-do you. . .? Donnie asked, peering up at the man as he got closer and closer, stopping only a few feet away from the turtles.

"You'll find out soon enough." The man said in a deep and chilling voice. He pulled a small gun from his pocket and aimed at Donatello, pulling the trigger and shooting a small dart into the turtle's neck. Donnie yelped from the prick but felt the drugs work quickly against his already exhausted body. In a few seconds the turtle fell limp into the grip of the soldier.

"What're you- NO DONNIE! WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Leo's voice boomed, with newfound energy he struggled harder against the soldier's grips but it led to no avail.

The man peered down at Leo's intense glare.

'His protectiveness truly hasn't changed.' Osamu thought to himself.

"I've hit him with a small dart, don't worry, he'll wake within the hour." Osamu answered.

"Who the shell even are you?" Leo continued glaring, yet found some small composure. His brother was in no way able to defend himself. Donnie's life was in the hands of the enemy.

"If you must know, you may refer to me as Osamu but I'm sure your colorful vocabulary will fix in some other title." Osamu said jokingly, smiling from Leo's fiery expression.

"I know that with every second that passes your hate for me grows stronger. I mean, I did just come into your life and now have your brother's life in the palm of my hand. You see Leonardo, I grew up with a simple and good life, one I'm sure that you and your brothers have envied from time to time. Overtime I made stupid decisions that ultimately led me here and working for the man you know as the Shredder.

"Then you and your team ended his life and I was free to start my life anew. Which I fully plan on doing. . . With of course the help of your dear brother, Donatello.

"Of course I know your brother would never willingly help me so I thought, why not help him in return? Why not use methods to truly show him all the wrongdoings you and your other siblings have done to him in the past? Of course with the added help of his struggling mental state, such a task should be possible."

Leo looked up at the man in disbelief. Was this for real? Did a stranger really think that he could help Donnie more than his own family? Leo had to admit that he couldn't help but feel guilty at his actions against his second youngest brother. Leo shook his head, he couldn't spend any more time pitying himself. The important thing was that they were all going to work on their relationships with Donnie and help him. This butthead at no right to butt into their family. He had no right to decide Donnie's future.

"How sick are you? You're talking about giving Donnie a better life when you don't even know his life! Even then, you're talking about forcing him into a life that I can tell you he doesn't want." Leo sneered.

"How can you be so sure of that Leonardo? Have you not recalled all the pain and suffering you and your brother's put him through these past years? How long were you oblivious to his inner turmoil?" Osamu responded calmly.

"I regret everything every ounce of pain I've inflicted on Donnie, and I hate myself for not seeing past his facade but that doesn't give you the right to take him away from his family!"

"Donatello hasn't seen the full extent of the abuse he suffered through. He ignores it or pushes it aside for the reason that the pain he's experiencing is coming from the only family he has. I want to enlighten him. I want to show him my comfort and give him a life where he can thrive and live up to his potential that he waste's on your unforgiving family."

Leo's breath hitched. This man wasn't just sick. He was insane. He judged Leo and his brother's for the hurt they caused Donnie yet this man already hadn't been all that nice to him. Leo gave Osamu a death glare. Osamu, he was the true enemy here and Leo was damned if he'd let Osamu take his little brother.

"Why are you telling me this? The moment you walk away with my brother is the moment your fate is sealed. I will not let you get away with this." Leo threatened, struggling once more.

"I'm being honest. Besides, is it not the perfect suffering to know what will be done and that there's nothing you can do about it?" Osamu laughed.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get my guest to his new location before he awakens." Osamu said, making a notion for his men to take hold of Donnie.

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HIM!" Leo yelled, struggling harder and harder against the ninjas. "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TAKING MY BROTHER AWAY YOU SICK BASTARD!

"I'll find him. I swear. If you take him, my brothers and I will find him and we'll make you regret the day you came here." Leo said in a voice unlike his own.

Osamu laughed and walked over to Leo's form, whispering into the turtle's ear, "The only way you'll find your brother is when I intend for it. Heed this warning Leonardo. The next time you see Donatello, he won't be the same. No, when you see your precious little brother again, his loyalties will lie with me."

Osamu moved away from Leo's head, letting his words sink in. Grabbing his dart gun, he shot Leonardo in the same place he hit Donatello, not interested in the futile turtle's response.

"Sir," Katsumi came up behind him, "our men can't keep the others back for long, they'll be here shortly." She informed, looking at Leonardo and Donatello with sympathy.

"Good. Let them come," Osamu knelt but Donatello, gently lifting the turtle's head, "we have what we need."

Chapter Text

Painful ringing admitted from his ears. A groan escaped his hoarse throat from the harsh banging that was taking place in his skull. He tried moving his limbs but to no avail. His muscles felt like they weighed more than the Shellraiser and Party Wagon combined. Seeing that there was immediate disapproval caused by his will to move, Donatello focused on what his other senses told him. From the overall aches and pains, Donnie quickly concluded he was lying face down on a hard and cold flooring of what he assumed to be a cell. Donnie let out another groan. He was all too familiar with how a cell felt and he wasn't the least bit idyllic that he was stuck in one.

Donnie recalled the events prior. Leo had planned for another patrol, which in Donnie's opinion was useless. The genius, if given the chance, would've ignored the patrol. It was no secret that the second youngest liked to spend his time in his lab but these past few weeks, Donnie isolated himself in his lab for the sake of isolation. His inner feelings, ranging from his father's death to the first year he and his brothers journeyed to the surface were too much for him to bear. Yet, as he saw his brothers healing and seemingly doing great without him, Donnie refused to say anything in fear of becoming a burden. Apparently, they saw things in a different way.

The fear that had filled Donnie when his oldest brother wanted to 'talk' was overpowering to say in the least. Donnie cringed at the memory. He had let the brother he looked up to the most, see his lab that had been trashed and was in total discord. He remembered seeing Leo's uneasy expression as his brother scoped the lab. Donnie was embarrassed and ultimately felt he would regret that decision. It probably gave his brother an even bigger reason for his 'talk'.

Donnie knew it was only a matter of time before one of his brothers, specifically an older one, came to him and inquired about feelings. It was the previous week where his older brothers had found him unconscious in his lab. Another memory Donnie cringed at but felt no need to indulge in. Anyway, Donnie was, in a kind manner, going to explain to Leo where to shove it before his youngest brother's interruption. Donnie had never been one to appreciate his little brother's burst of energy that often interrupted his work, but for this instance, Donnie was extremely grateful. That is, until his brother's wish for him to accompany their team for a patrol destroyed his ray of hope. Alas, there wasn't a force strong enough that could resist the power known as Michelangelo's puppy dog eyes. They were too strong for Donnie to disregard and deny. Mikey's optimism won in the end. In a way, Donnie was happy to spend some time with Mikey. He enjoyed seeing his little brother be healing. Figuring that he was going to spend the night beside Mikey, patrol grew more tolerable.

Donnie should've known that Leo wasn't one to let things go.

Of course his older brother had a backup plan ready to set in motion if his first didn't plan out to his liking. The moment Leo suggested they split up, Donnie realized the trap he had fallen into all too late. With himself and Mikey being the only ones who disapproved, Donnie knew there was no chance of getting out of it. Especially since Raph was siding with Leo. It was big brothers against little brothers. A-team against B-team. Yeah, he was screwed.

The following conversation was one that Donnie still didn't know how to feel. Leo's relentless efforts had gotten the high ground in his battle to conceal everything and Donnie could do nothing to stop the dam of emotions.

'At least I didn't tell him everything. . .' Donnie thought to himself.

Leo's reaction was one that Donnie had feared. His brother was horrified. Not just with the onslaught of the emotional confession, but with himself. Donnie could see the self blame in Leo's deep blue eyes. Though Donnie hated seeing his brother distressed because of him, Donnie teared up from Leo's reveal. Everything the leader said brought tears to Donnie's eyes. Still, Donnie dared not speak of everything that racked his broken self esteem, only welcoming his brother's embrace as a way to calm Leo himself. Donnie could see that Leo wanted to help him heal, he could hear in his voice that the others did too. It was heartbreaking but Donnie couldn't accept it. Not when he felt like he was broken beyond repair. His mental state felt shattered. His mind was drowning in endless torment and suffering. A pain the sole heartily believed his brothers could never heal.

Then everything got worse from there. . .

The unexpected confrontation between a new team of ninjas was, to put it mildly, infuriating. Even with the defeat of their biggest enemies, a new group challenged Leo and Donnie with no revealed reason as to why. It made Donnie's blood boil, but as he and his brother became surrounded by this new group, Donnie's fears overpowered his rage. He clung to the hope that they were as easy as Shredder's first group of soldiers he put against the turtles. They weren't. . .

These soldiers were strong, powerful, and everything in between, though, they seemed cautious. They're movement, flawless as they were, were on the steady side. It was like their goal was to tire them out more so than injure them. Despite the injuries that Donnie knew he and his brother received, it wasn't like they were fatal. It caused a good amount of blood loss but if Donnie had his med kit, it would've taken him less than ten minutes to treat each. It was unusual. Donnie recalled as the fight raged on, the soldiers used more force. Thankfully Leo had called a retreat, signaling that it was time to get the shell out. Since their luck was already thin, Donnie wasn't surprised to see he and Leo being chased. A chase that they were in no way going to win.

Donnie adhered to his brother's orders and called Raph's T-phone. He barely was able to convey their location before his phone was destroyed. Leo had handed Donnie his own, only for that one to end up dead as Donnie talked to their hot headed brother about the serious situation.

The fight didn't last long from that point. The soldiers caught up to them and it all went straight to hell.

Apparently, Donnie still couldn't figure out why the soldiers changed their tactics on attacking. Donnie saw that one was going for the kill on his oldest brother, it was the first attempt Donnie had noticed where there was intent to kill. To say the least, Donnie was not okay with this. His family already had lost their father, they weren't about to lose another family member. To Donnie, Leo was his idol. Donnie looked up to his brother in ways Leo never saw. Hence, a reason Donnie didn't reveal all that was troubling him. Donnie loved his oldest brother no matter the emotions caused by some of his brother's actions. So Donnie dived in front of his brother, earning himself a serious injury to his shin. Donnie recalled nothing but searing pain. When he managed to control himself, his head had been forcefully lifted and his neck was greeted with a blade. He took note that his jump did indeed protect his brother but it didn't help to make Donnie feel all that great. His brother had been held back by a dozen soldiers and was kept a few feet away from where Donnie had been. The last thing Donnie had remembered was a man, who looked horrifyingly close to the Shredder, stepping from the mass of ninjas and shooting Donnie with a presumed tranquilizing dart.

All of that had essentially led up to him staring at the concrete floor, still unable to move.

'Gee, this is just swell. Not only was I kidnapped, Leo could've been as well.' Donnie thought irritably.

Just the idea that Leo was somewhere close, also being held captive, made Donnie shiver in his shell. It was bad enough that this new threat had one brother, images of watching an endless loop of Leo suffering, added to the growing anxiety Donnie felt. He had no clue if Leo had been taken as a prisoner since Donnie was the first to be knocked out by whatever stupid drug they infected with.

'The same stupid drug that won't let me move!' Donnie yelled to himself.

He was beginning to hate the gross floor he was forced to look at. The dark grey hue with crimson stains made him want to puke the little food that was in his stomach. Grinding his teeth, Donnie put much more force into his body. His sluggish body barely responded to the force but it was better than nothing. Slowly but surely, Donnie could feel the drug wear off. His limbs shakily moved upon the struggle for control. He lifted his arms slowly, in an effort to lift his body off the ground. Donnie made little progress as he collapsed back onto the hard floor in sudden pain.

"Gah!" Donnie exclaimed. He forgot all about the wound on his forearm and had accidentally put too much pressure for the injury to bare. Fortunately it was wrapped, not well, but it was enough to stop the bleeding.

"Let's try this again," Donnie muttered to himself. He slowly raised himself off the floor again, monitoring the stress he was pushing onto his arm.

It took longer than Donnie wanted to admit but eventually he was able turn himself over and sit his body up. His cranium protested the movement, repeating the harsh banging that caused him to seethe from pain.

"A little painkiller would've been nice." Donnie said aloud, bitterly.

He sighed heavily and looked over the room he was currently occupying. The room matched the floor. The dark grey walls were splattered with crimson stains in various spots. The room was no more than forty-eight square feet from Donnie's calculations. It was small but bigger than some cells he's been in. There were windows to let him know of his location to the outside world. It also hindered his knowledge of what time of day it was. He had no knowledge of the drug that hit him. Meaning, he had no idea how long it's effects lasted. At least there were lights overhead. There were two single lights that did little to illuminate the cell but enough for Donnie to see himself properly. The only thing left in the cell was a solid steel door.

The door looked newly refurbished. It was definitely cleaner than the room itself, having no traces of blood. The door had no windows and from Donnie's assumption was thick. Without any of his tools, there was no way Donnie saw himself getting himself out of there.

Which meant that he'd either have to wait for his brothers to break him out or hope that whoever would come in to check on him would make a mistake and give him a chance to escape.

That is, if anyone was going to check on him at all. If his brothers even knew where he and or Leo were. . .

Despite the pain in Donnie's skull, he shook his head. Raph, Mikey, and the others couldn't have been far behind. They had to have witnessed something. They had to be making a plan. Donnie just knew it. They would break down that door and they would all return home where Donnie swore he would make a tiny effort to go along with what they wanted of him.

Donnie nodded, it was the perfect plan, it was what usually happened when one of them was taken. Cliche as it might be, it's how it always went.

It was a couple years ago, when the kraang was still active, Donnie and his brothers were engaged in a tough battle. It was way past midnight, snowing, and the turtles were still dealing with the effects of a fight between footbots. The kraang had them outnumbered as the robots smuggled mutagen canisters into a black van. Donnie saw that the kraang were nearly done in their quest for their collection of mutagen, but that wasn't all. From where the kraang had picked up their last crate of mutagen, a small bomb was placed, beeping loudly and quickly.

"Leo! The Kraang planted a bomb, we have to get out here, NOW!" Donnie yelled, looking over at his older brother for confirmation that he heard.

Leo nodded in response, gathering his katanas in his holsters. Kicking down nearby kraang droids with a swift spinning kick.

"Mikey, Raph let's go!" Leo yelled to his other two brothers. The harsh weather muffled Leo's voice, effectively killing it off before either of the two turtles could adhere to the warning.

The two turtles continued to fight the droids, unaware of the danger that they were in.

Donnie, seeing Leo's failed attempts, yelled alongside his brother. They each made an effort to get past the swarm of alien robots that cut them off from their brothers. The turtles were finally able to get their brother's attention but it was too late. The bomb went silent, time stopped. What kraang had gathered in the van braced for impact. Leonardo, seeing nothing else he could do, tackled his little brother to the ground, shielding Donnie from the explosion.

Sounds were heard from the kraang before the van left with a screech. Donnie groaned from the force of the impact. Luckily the bomb was small and didn't cause much destruction to the surrounding buildings and there was little to no debris that was scattered. He looked over his and Leo's body, assessing for any injuries. Donnie breathed out air in relief. Both he and Leo seemed to be clean of any injuries besides any they previously had. Donnie heard Leo begin to stir when he remembered that his other brothers hadn't been aware of the bomb.

Donnie escaped Leo's grip right as his baby brother stumbled to where he stood.

"D-Donnie!" Mikey sobbed, collapsing into Donnie's waiting arms.

"Mikey, what is it? What's wrong?" Donnie asked, looking over Mikey for serious injuries, finding none, he looked back into his brother's distressed baby blue eyes.

"I-It's Raph! The kraang. . .after the explosion, he pushed me out of the way and he collided with the van. T-The took him! They took him Donnie and it's all my fault!" Mikey lost his battle with his tears and sobbed into Donnie's chest.

Donnie clutched Mikey, caressing his head while staring back at his oldest brother. Leo had heard the news and was up on his feet in an instant.

"Then let's go get him." Leo said, pulling both Mikey and Donnie into a tight embrace. The leader whispered comforting words to his baby brother, consoling him and informing him that he was in no way to blame for what happened. He let his brothers go and silently commanded them to follow. Donnie pulled Mikey along, keeping his brother close.

"Leo's right Mikey. I know you don't believe him but you know Raph. No matter what he's going to protect us. Even if it means taking a hit, he will. So, let's work together to show him the same courtesy. I promise we'll find him and you know I'm never one to break my promises. Sound good?" Donnie asked gently, lowering himself to Mikey's eye level.

Mikey gave a gentle nod. "Yeah, we gotta be like Raph! He would never let any of us be taken by the kraang, at least not for long."

"Exactly."

It took them no longer than two hours to locate the facility their brother was located at, break in and rescue his angry shell. Raph was never one who liked to be saved by after the shaking hugs from his youngest siblings, Raph kept his protests silent. They all returned home from the battle, sending some time together and warming themselves up before they each headed off to bed. It was a long, scary and scary night but it ended with them all together. They saved a brother and were able to sleep soundly with that thought.

"They're going to come." Donnie muttered to himself after the recollection. It had only taken his brothers a couple hours to lick their wounds and save Raph. That's all. So it couldn't take them that long to come for him, right?

THUMP THUMP THUMP

Donnie jumped from the sudden noise. It was the only sound, despite his harsh breathing that he heard since his waking. His heart thumped painfully in his chest as what he concluded were footsteps, drawn nearer and nearer.

Donnie noticed he didn't have his weapon or any means of a weapon on him. With his injured limbs it would make it difficult to fight back in any form. Still, Donnie wasn't going to cower in fear. He held his head high, mimicking his older brothers, and kept his body from shaking.

He heard a muffled conversation before the sound of a locking mechanism was activated. The thick, steel door opened.

The figure that had struck him with a dart was face to face with the purple banded brother.

"Donatello." He calmly said.

"Where's my brother?" Donnie said threateningly, glaring at the man.

"I can tell you that he's not here. You're the only one out of your family that's with me."

"How could I possibly trust you?" Donnie crossed his arms, not buying the information whatsoever.

"I guess you really can't." He said.

"Who the shell even are you?" Donnie sneered, making sure he was a safe distance away from the man. He knew he was playing a risking game. Raph was usually the hostile one in situations like these, whereas Donnie was more of a strong quiet type. Then again, it was said that Donnie's temper and sarcastic side could easily match Raph's.

The man smiled, "My name is Bushi Osamu, but please call me Osamu."

Donnie scoffed, "Glad we're on a first name basis. Now would be so kind as to tell me what the shell you're doing and how you know my brothers and I before I make you regret your life choices.

Osamu nodded. "Let's just say I used to be a foot soldier. When Orouku Saki saw evidence of your clan, he shipped me along with some other men here to New York where we met and fought with you and your brothers."

"Oh," Donnie interrupted, "that explains why your complexion is more unappealing than Mikey's P-shake."

"I see you carry your red brother's attitude." Osamu commented, not expecting the turtle he thought was hopelessly broken to have quite the fire in him.

'Perhaps this'll be harder than I thought. . .' Osamu thought, keeping his gaze fixated on the turtle.

"Speaking of my brother, you know he's going to make you regret this little turtlenapping right?" Donnie responded, once again checking he was a safe distance away from Osamu. Just because he could match Raph's attitude don't mean he suddenly had the muscles to back it up.

Osamu smiled, "Is that so? You wouldn't be talking about the same brother that took your oldest and fled down to your sewery home, would you?"

"What do you mean?" Donnie asked cautiously.

"I mean, my soldiers spotted your tempered brother taking Leonardo and rushing off to the sewers with your other friends. Not giving a single care about where you were." Osamu stated bluntly.

"If they did, that's only because Leo's injured. Raph probably thought it was best to treat him first before looking for me." Donnie responded, his confidence faltering.

"So are you always a second thought, or was this a one time thing?" Osamu snickered.

"It depend-Wait, why do you even care?" Donnie looked up at Osamu with an accusing glare.

"Look, whatever tricks you're trying to pull on me, it won't work. I hate to burst your bubble but I'm not telling you anything." Donnie sneered, putting emphasis on the 'you' with the most disgust he could muster. He shook his head. This Osamu was nothing more than a petty villain who just wanted to see his family's destruction. Why he had been taken, Donnie didn't know but he wasn't going to let some new guy threaten him or his family with ease.

"Tricks? I'm only inquiring, nothing more than a few questions." Osamu said calmly.

"Yeah right. Do you take me for an idiot? Or did you mistake me for a mirror?"

"Donatello," Osamu's voice echoed menacingly off the walls, making Donnie shiver in his shell, "I admire your fire. It's a respectable attribute, one I did not foresee when I arranged for this."

Osamu's response piqued Donnie's curiosity. The turtle just assumed he was kidnapped for no other reason than to hurt his brothers or some run of the mill plot. He didn't think he was here for a specific purpose.

Osamu, seeing Donatello's questionable expression, dove further into his explanation. "You see Donatello, during my time as a soldier I struggled to get myself out of it. I hated what the Foot stood for so to speak. I wanted nothing more than to start my own clan and once you and your brothers defeated Saki, that was made possible. So, when I returned to my home in Japan, I thought everything would be perfect. That is until I realized I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"Wooooow, I'm flattered. I never knew I kept a disgusting creep awake at night." Donnie practically spit out his words.

Ignoring him, Osamu continued. "I was constantly thinking about your smarts and had thought-"

"Let me stop you right there." Donnie interrupted. "You thought that since I'm so smart you could kidnap me and force me to build complex weaponry and machinery, right? Throw in a newly refurbished lab with the 'promise' that no harm would befall onto my brothers and expect me to fall right into your fingertips." He said with disgust, turning his head away from Osamu.

"I admit, at first that's what I thought. At least until I realized that's exactly what Saki would've done. When I joined the Foot I promised myself and my family I would be nothing like that dishonorable man. So yes, I did ponder the idea but I quickly dismissed it."

"So then why am I here?" Donnie gestured to the cell.

"While I did dismiss the idea of using you, I came to the idea of helping you."

"So you think injuring my brother and myself, forcing us to fight your clan, then kidnapping me is all a means to 'help me'? Seriously, what kind of bonehead do you take me for?"

"I know my way of acquiring you wasn't perfect, but it was the only way to get you here." Osamu said, growing frustrated.

"Oh so now I'm something that can be acquired?" Donnie said with hatred.

"Donatello!" Osamu yelled. His patience was wearing thin and he knew it was only a matter of time before the turtle's family came. He had to get Donatello prepared before it was too late or everything he had planned would be destroyed on the first night.

Donnie flinched at the yell and backed further away from Osamu. He kept his eyes locked to his leg, refusing to look at the man.

"Donatello, I do not mean to be harsh but you must understand what my intentions are. I realized the pain and torment your brothers caused you. I saw how it affected you far deeper than they could ever have imagined. The abusive tone of their voices as they wounded you far deeper than any of my men was evident. That's why you're here.

"I don't care if you work alongside my clan, I don't care if you hate me for the rest of your life, but I want to show you the true extent of the pain you've been suffering from and give you a chance at a better life. One where you wouldn't be ridiculed for your talents. One where you could live up to your full potential. That's why you're here Donatello." Osamu finished, in a soft voice.

Donnie shrugged his shoulder and turned further away. He was usually so good at predicting the reasons for capture. The villains he faced in the past were always so clear on what they wanted and it was always something so obvious or trivial. Never did he meet a villain that kidnapped either him or his brothers for the sake of mental health. Not that Donnie trusted the man or anything. It was just. . .

'Unpredictable. . ." Donnie thought to himself.

'Come on Donnie are you that stupid? An interlude about how your mental health is important is an unusual tactic, it's still some sort of tactic. Right. . .?'

"Just because you want to hold hands and sing kumbaya doesn't mean I fall for whatever trap you have instore for me."

"Interesting. . . you didn't deny my claims about your brothers." Osamu teased.

"I didn't need to. Any imbecile could accuse my brothers of something hurtful but an incredibly stupid simpleton needs verbal confirmation that I disregarded what you said. Sure, my brothers can sometimes be hurtful but we're brothers. It happens." Donnie partially lied, not about to admit the hard truth in Osamu's statement.

"Donatello, whether you wish me to or not, I'm going to show you the true pain that your brother's have caused you. Then we'll see where you stand after that." Osamu said menacingly.

Osamu saw that the turtle still kept his eyes away from him. He didn't like the pain that was awaiting the turtle but it had to be done.

'No matter what anyone says. It's for his own good.' Osamu thought.

Osamu pulled out the same dart gun he had earlier that evening, the only difference being the drug. It was a long lasting drug that had powerful effects. It could keep its victims unconscious for up to three days. It was more than enough time to deliver Donatello to his new location, not that Osamu would ever admit that to the turtle himself.

If Donatello believed they were in New York City instead of Osamu's facility in Japan, he knew the damage it would cause the turtle mentally. It would be the perfect push when the time came.

Donnie turned his attention to Osamu, growing suspicious of the silence, and immediately paled. He took notice of that tranq gun in Osamu's hand but before he even had a chance to dodge, the trigger was pulled.

Donatello fell to the ground and succumbed to the growing darkness. . .

Chapter Text

"WE'RE BEING AMBUSHED"

"We're both injured"

"Raphie. . ."

The reminder of Donatello's frail voice pushed Raphael faster and faster. He sped across the rooftops not paying attention to where he was landing or keeping his form hidden in the shadows. All the constant lessons of the importance and uses of stealth were forgone to the brute turtle. He didn't care who or what saw him. He had one intention driving him and when Raphael has his mind made up, there's not a force that can change his course.

Especially when it concerned his brothers.

The hothead of the ninja family was considered the strongest when it came to fighting. His anger fueled his strength but it was his brothers that made him strong. Raph would never admit it but it was clear to see that the turtle in red was the family's protector. Whatever it took to save his family, he would do it in a heartbeat. That's why he didn't care one bit for his lack of stealth or agility. His brothers desperately needed him. He wouldn't fail them. He couldn't fail them.

'I won't lose them too. . .'

Raph blinked away the moisture that had subconsciously formed in his eyes. The thought of losing his brothers after the loss of his father was almost too much for Raph to handle. The only reason he wasn't breaking down now was the presence of Karai. The kunoichi was right on the hot head's tail, fueled by a matching adrenaline. Raph wasn't surprised. Ever since Karai had accepted her role into the clan, she's been growing a protective nature for her half siblings. Then there was the special soft side she had with Leo but Raph wasn't going to get into that. He didn't want to puke when he was already on his last shred of composure.

The ninja felt a small tear slip past his defenses as it slithered down his face, quickly departing from the speed at which Raph was moving. He shook his head, no. He wouldn't cry yet. Not until he knew his brothers were okay. They had to be. . .

Raph growled. How dare a new enemy come into their lives. For shell's sake it was only a little over three months since they killed Shredder for good and lost their father. How dare someone enter their lives again with the intent to harm them. Raph didn't know how much of this he could take. He was barely getting through his grief with Splinter's death, if something happened to Leo or Don. . .

Splinter's death wasn't any easier on the hothead than his other family members. Raphael had spent his life looking up to his father and wanting nothing more than recognition for his fast growing ninjutsu skills. He had such an urge to prove himself to his father. Yet, he had to fight for his attention thanks to Leo. His oldest brother had easily followed their Sensei's teachings to a T, Raph nearly rolled his eyes out of his sockets from how annoying it was. Leo became the teacher's pet and had captivated their father's attention. Every kata that was taught. Mikey was reminded to stay focused, Donnie was told to put more effort, Raph was repeatedly told to reign in his anger while Leo received praise for his perfection.

Seeing Leo succeed pushed Raph harder and harder. He trained as much as he could, building his muscles and practicing countless hours with his sais. Though, even with the work he put out, Leo was still in the spotlight. Raph noticed that neither Donnie or Mikey seemed to care. Or at least they weren't vocal about it. Not like Raph anyway.

Raph's efforts to impress his father did nothing compared to Leo. That's when the once petty arguments and little wrestling matches turned fiercer. The arguments between the two grew from something trivial to something serious and the fighting that followed was with intent to hurt. It got worse when Leo became leader.

Raph, knowing now what it truly meant to be a leader, held no anger anymore for that moment when Splinter had come to the decision for who should lead the team. In that moment, Raph held no compassion or understanding. All he knew that once again, Leo was the chosen one, Splinter's favorite. It was a slap in the face and Raph didn't let a day go by without letting someone, namely Leo, know of his anger. It wasn't until Rpah was given charge of the team he saw the true responsibility. The image of Mikey being slammed into the wall was one Raph would never forget. His baby brother had gotten hurt from his careless action and if it wasn't for Donnie's quick thinking, who knows what would've happened.

But now, Splinter was gone. Leo had taken his spot as the overall Leader of their clan and that was that. Raph was left to his anger and grief from the one person he fought to impress. The one that could ease his anger.

Healing hadn't come easy for Raph. It was only when the hot headed brother saw how Mikey began to heal that it gave Rpah some courage to try to do so. It was hard but seeing Mikey smile again gave Raph the strength he needed. He spent time talking with Leo about his issues and for once, he seemed at peace. Well, until he saw what had become of Donnie.

Raph shuddered in his shell from the memory of Donnie being deadly still on his table. He and Leo had feared something horrible had gone wrong, only to find that Donnie had simply collapsed from exhaustion and a slight fever. The two elder brothers had carried Donnie back to his bed with the promise they would make a better effort in helping Donnie heal and overcome his inner demons.

That night was only last week and yet it felt like a year ago to Raph. he swore to himself he would keep his brothers safe no matter what.

"Raph, we should Mikey and the others and tell them to meet us there." Karai said, abruptly shaking Raph from his thoughts.

Raph turned his head to her and nodded. He pulled out his T-Phone and pushed Mikey's icon.

The youngest turtle answered almost immediately

"This is your friendly ninja turtle Michelangelo speaking, how can I help you this fine evening?" Mikey said jokingly, unaware of the gravity of the situation.

"Mikey, Leo and Donnie are in trouble. They got ambushed and they need backup. Meet at Eastman and Laird. Now." Raph ordered with urgency, trying his best not to freak his brother out.

"WAIT WHAT?!" Mikey exclaimed.

"There's no time to explain Mikey just hurry!" Raph yelled. He hated being so harsh to his brother but it was the only emotion he could show. He wasn't good at being calm like Leo or understanding like Donnie.

"We're on our way." Mikey stated. The two turtles each hung up. Before stuffing his T-phone in his belt, Raph gave the invention a weak smile.

Donnie had been so proud of his invention. It was used many times and greatly helped them in more than one way.

"Raphie. . ."

Donnie had sounded like a small child. It had been forever since Raph heard such an innocent tone from his little brother. It had seemed like years since Donnie actually spoke to him directly. What worried Raphael the most was the use of his childhood nickname. He remembered Mikey being the first one to use it and then almost immediately afterwards that's what he was referred to as by the rest of his brothers. He let it stick for a good while but as they all grew older he would give anyone of them a clear threat about the usage of it. His brothers had gotten the message, even Mikey strayed from using it. The only instances he did hear it was when his brothers were scared or looking for comfort. Mikey and even Donnie was guilty of coming to him in the middle of the night, referring to their older brother with the nickname as they sought protection from whatever demons that they swore awaited them. Those nights were long gone, only bridging Raph more fear as he heard Donnie's voice repeatedly.

"Raphie. . ."

Whatever was attacking his brothers, it scared Donnie enough to use the nickname. Whoever this enemy was, Rpah wasn't going to give them the chance to see the morning's sun. They picked the wrong family to mess with. Donnie had even said that him and Leo were injured. Raph only hoped Donnie wasn't chalking it down like he usually did when he was affected by something. If their injuries were bad, Raph wasn't sure if he could handle it. Donnie was their medical doctor. He always patched them up after a fight no matter the extent. What if he was incapable of healing their wounds? Raph wasn't sure if he was prepared to deal with it. He was the fighter not a healer like Donnie was with physical wounds and Leo with more internal wounds.

'Please be okay brothers. . .' Raph pleaded.

"We're almost there!" Karai shouted, running up beside Raph rather than behind him.

Raph studied Karai's features and could see the clear pain residing. The teen was troubled by the worries of what had become of their family. It was obvious that like Raph, she cared nothing for stealth.

The two jumped over another building. The street sign below marking their destination was where they stood. Their harsh breathing took form from the cold, flying and dispersing into the silent New York sky.

Raph forced his breathing to steady, telling himself he needed to stay calm for his brothers. He took a breath and looked over the large rooftop with much more focus than before on his run. No. . .Raph shook his head.

The rooftop was void of his brothers but it wasn't completely untouched. Few weapons were scattered around. Their design and complexity revealed that they indeed were the weapons of ninjas. That's not what scared Raph.

On opposite sides, there were two puddles of blood. . .

"LEO! DONNIE!" Rpah yelled. Frantically searching the rooftop and those that surrounded it for evidence of his brothers. They had to be here. They had to be okay. He wouldn't be too late. He couldn't be too late.

"LEO!" Karai yelled, following Raph's fear. Her anxiety overwhelmed her so much. Similar to Raph, Karai had promised herself that she would no longer harm the turtles and accept them as her brothers. She never thought that she could grow to love them as siblings but she couldn't help but succumb to the sibling love.

"DONNIE!" Raph's voice echoed off the buildings. They should've found them by now, right?

"Are you sure Donatello told you it was Eastman and Laird?" Karai asked, hoping it was just a simple misunderstanding.

"That's exactly what Donnie said!"

"Alright, then let's look around." Karai said urgently.

Raph nodded and in a second the two ninjas were scaling another rooftop.

Rooftop after rooftop they were met with the same, heartbreaking results. There was no sign of Leo or Donnie or any remaining ninjas. There wasn't even a clue as to where there had been fights. Rpah and Karai couldn't tell which direction their brothers had fled, making it even harder to track them down.

Just as Raph and Karai were going to switch directions, a distance voice snapped their heads up.

"RAPH!"

"MIKEY!" Raph and Karai yelled in unison. They followed the direction of the baby brother's voice, hope filling their hearts again. Raph was even beginning to smile in relief. Everything was going to be fine. He would get his brothers to safety and they could all enjoy the comforts of home and push this night behind them. Shell, maybe Leo had gotten through to Donnie like his original plan.

Everything was. . .far from okay.

Raph and Karai spotted the silhouettes of their friends and as they got closer and closer, Mikey's distress became apparent. Something was wrong. Raph rushed past Karai, landing on the rooftop quicker. He was facing Mikey in an instant.

"Mikey, what is it? Did you find them?" Raph asked impatiently.

Mikey locked eyes with Raph. Tears were streaming down his face and his voice was nothing but a quiet whimper.

"Mikey, what-" Mikey jerked to his body away from Raph, revealing what the two had failed to notice.

In the center of the rooftop was Casey and April, surrounding the unconscious form of Leonardo. . .

"LEO!" Raph shouts as Karai gasps. Raph ran to his brother, thankful for his knee pads as he slid down, kneeling beside his brother. Raph pushed flashbacks of the images of the same brother laying in the dreadful tub at the farmhouse, unmoving for months. April cleared a path for Raph as the elder brother caressed Leo's bruised face.

"Is he. . .?" Karai asked in a soft whisper, her breath held.

"No," April responded, "I'm honestly not sure why he's unconscious. His head indicates that there's no damage. He doesn't have any bumps or major bruising. The only major injury he has is his shoulder. I tied it off with one of Mikey's bandages to stop the bleeding but all it needs is a couple of stitches."

Raph looked over at Leo, grateful that his brother was going to make a recovery and hopefully wake up soon. Raph heard April's soft sniffles as she buried herself into Casey's embrace. Raph was about to question her when it hit him like a tsunami. He shakily looked around the rooftop.

Donnie was nowhere in sight.

"Where's D-Donnie?" Raph asked, afraid he already knew the answer. All he got in response was Mikey's shaky hands revealing what was in their grip. The familiar sight of his brother's wooden weapon was brought forth. The weapon that Raph always criticized and made fun of. The weapon that Donnie had proven time and time again was far stronger than anyone's assumptions. Raph eyes grew wide and he couldn't stifle a gasp.

He barely managed to lift himself off the ground. His body felt stiff. It was a feeling of being trapped. Raph felt he was weightless while at the same time feeling nothing but weight. He couldn't feel the air pass through his lungs. It was as if he was underwater. His legs shakily moved one at time towards his younger brother. The sight of his brainy brother's belongings caused his earlier tears to reform.

Raph brought his hands up to Mikey's, clutching his baby's brother's arms and pulling him into a hug. Mikey welcomed the embrace, breaking into sobs as he nestled his head into Raph's neck.

"I-I'm. . .s-scared R-Raphie. . ."

"Raphie. . ."

"I w-was so happy to find Leo, but w-why would-" Mikey took a break as he let out a heartbreaking sob, " . . .why would someone j-just take D-Donnie like that?"

Raph looked back at everyone, Mikey's words rang true. All of a sudden a new threat comes along only to take one of them. Why was that one Donnie? Was it intentional or just some ploy to hurt them?

'Or both?' Raph grimaced at the thought.

The red clad brother hoped that when his brother woke up, they would have some much needed answers.

"Donnie. . .he can't take much more pain. . .he needs us. . ."

"WE NEED BACKUP"

Raph pulled Mikey tighter as the voice of his missing brother rang through his head. He gently gripped. Mikey's chin, lifting his brother's head to meet his eyes.

"I swear little brother, we'll get him back, wherever he is. We'll find him." Raph promised. It did little to calm Mikey's words as it did with Raph himself but it was a promise. There wasn't a force that would keep him away from his immediate younger brother. No matter what, Raph swore he would find wherever Donnie was. Then he would make sure his stubborn brother would talk to them about his dumb mushy feelings and they could all be strong and find peace with each other. He was not going to let anyone take any more members of his family.

"He's p-p-probably so scared. . .and all a-al-alone. . ." Mikey sobbed, his tears falling onto Raph's shoulders. The little turtle began shaking in his brother's grip. The fear of what could happen to their brainy brother was almost too much for the youngest brother to handle. He could feel his body break down and his muscles scream in agony as the adrenaline wore off. Frankly, no one was doing that great either.

April's sobs were carried by the wind but it did not fall to deaf ears. Her body was quivering in Casey's grip. The teen had her arms wrapped tightly around Casey as if he would disappear if she let go. April's composure was lost to her own fears of what had happened to her friend. It was no secret of Donatello's affections for the redhead, from his constant worrying and checking up on her it was easy to see the deep love he had. Then Casey came along. Casey had also fallen for the redhead's character and the rivalry began. Luckily, Donnie and Casey had mended their friendship and rarely had any fights. April knew she needed to come out and reveal her feelings. After years of conflict, she never knew if she would ever figure them out. She admitted to herself that she should've been direct with Donnie and Casey but she could never find the words. Especially when she had molecularly scattered the missing turtle. She had so much she wanted to say but the words were stuck in her throat like the sobs she could feel rising.

Casey did all he could to make her feel better. From Raph's glance, he could easily see that Casey felt no pleasure or happiness from the embrace he was receiving. The mischievous teen looked nearly as heartbroken as April. Casey would never admit out loud but April's distressed crying and hug reminded him of his little sister after they had received news of Casey's mom and her death. It was years ago but Casey felt like he was in a parallel between his emotions then and now.

Raph sighed as he moved his gaze from Casey to Karai. His half sister was kneeling beside Leo, whispering what looked to be Japanese words. Raph could barely make them out but he was pretty sure it was some form of a prayer. The girl gently took Leo's hand, simultaneously checking the pulse and for the sake of comfort. From her relief expression it was confirmed that their Leader's pulse was still strong but the lack of motion said otherwise. Leo was deathly still, with only the rise and fall of his chest there wasn't any indication that he was waking up. Karai cursed to see her brother like this. Whoever did this to her family had some guts and some form of intelligence. With the only witness as to where Donatello could be, the team had no leads or ideas where to begin their search. The only possible solution was to wait for Leo and then decide the next move.

"Donnie's smart Mikey. He knows we're coming for him, okay? Don't forget Donnie's strong too. He's a lot stronger than me, or any bad guy gives him credit for. As long as he keeps his wits and his hope, he'll survive whatever gets thrown at him."

Mikey shook his head weakly, unconvinced.

"It feels different this time Raphie. . .I don't. . .I d-don't think. . ." Mikey's worst were lost in a new stream of tears. All Raph could think to do was rub his brother's back in circles. It was a soothing way that Raph found could provide comfort to his brothers whenever they were distressed. He found it wasn't doing much for Mikey but it was enough for his baby brother not to fall to the ground in hysterics.

"M-Mikey's right. . ." April responded softly, taking a deep breath before she further explained. "B-back at the lair, I got th-this feeling t-that something b-bad was going to happen. . .I t-think Leo f-felt the same way but we both ignored it. . .I should've said something sooner I-I. . ." She clung to Casey tightly and he pulled her into his chest again, performing a similar gesture to her as Raph was to Mikey.

"W-whatever took D-Donnie. . .it's not good. . ." April's voice was muffled but heard clearly between the family.

Raph could feel himself slowly slipping into a state of rage and dread. April, Leo, and now even Mikey all had the same idea that whatever force was holding onto Donatello was one that wasn't friendly in the slightest. The rage coming on wasn't one Raph felt often. It was a mix of raw emotions that he couldn't even place all of them together. His fear for Donnie's safety, his anger towards the sick bastard that hurt and kidnapped two of his brothers, the fact that he didn't feel anything about tonight. He was the second oldest yet he felt nothing about this night or the events that could possibly happen. Of course Leo had felt something off. His brother in blue had a six sense that could detect any sort of danger. April was an obvious factor. Her developed psychic skills gave her the special skills to detect threats. Mikey. . .

Raph may have been oblivious to tonight's events, but like everyone else, he knew of the deep bond Mikey and Donnie shared. The two youngest were two peas in a pod so to speak. Whenever Raph and Leo were arguing, the two would hang out together and be there to calm each other down if the situation got too stressful. Mikey was always there to help Donnie relax and assist him whether the genius turtle wanted his help or not in his experiments. Donnie was there to calm and act as a protector for Mikey when the youngest needed reassurance or comfort. Their bond was so sweet it almost made Raph puke. Point being, Raph could see the reasoning behind Mikey's feelings of intense fear.

"Mikey, there's not a force strong enough to keep us apart from each other. We will find Donnie. We will save him. No turtle left behind. No matter what."

Mikey slowly nodded, resting his head on Raph's shoulder.

The silence that followed was a mix of awkward and grief. No one wanted to say anything in fear of opening more depressing emotions and in the truth that there was nothing really to be said.

"Ughhhhhh. . ."

Everyone's heads snapped to the direction of the groan. By Karai's new position, and the new voice, they were by Leo's side in less than a second. The leader made more groans of discomfort and pain as his fingers twitched and his eyes began to flutter. The all too familiar royal blue eyes.

"Leo!" Everyone yelled in unison. Mikey and Raph knelt down beside their oldest brother, breaking their tight embrace, not that they cared. April and Casey stood behind the brothers, letting them have this moment with their brother while Karai was kneeling in her same spot on the opposite side of Leo's body.

"G-guys. . .?" Leo asked hoarsely. He blinked a few times to take in everything. He could see that he was surrounded by his friends and family. Leo searched his mind for an explanation as to why he was laying on a rooftop feeling he weighed five hundred pounds.

"Leo, how do you feel?" Mikey asked, looking over his brother worriedly.

"Like I've been hit by a bus. . .multiple times over. . ." Leo grimaced.

He could tell that his well being wasn't his family's top priority, there was something else. They wanted answer-

Leo lost his breath from the flood of memories that flashed in his brain. The ambush, the ninjas, the fight, Donnie jumping in front of-

DONNIE

Raph noticed Leo's breathing become harsh and his brother's pupils grew small.

'He remembered. . .'

"Oh my gosh. . .! Oh Gosh! SHELL!" Leo sputtered in a panic tone. On the inside, all Leo could see was Donnie getting shot with a dart and being taken away as Leo could do nothing. The leader of the ninjas revealed himself. Claiming that he knew what was right for Donnie. The promise he made. . .

"The next time you see your brother will be because I intended for it. When that day comes your brother will not be the same Donatello as you know."

"Leo?" Mikey asked, with concern.

"We were ambushed," Leo began, "a new group of ninjas. They outnumbered us easily and Donnie and I couldn't escape. They eventually got frustrated and tried to attack me from the rear. Donnie noticed and took a hit in the leg for me. . .he went down and I got distracted. . ." Leo winced as pain from his shoulder awakened his nerves. It offered the perfection reason for him not to continue as he focused his energy on the pain. He couldn't bear to tell them about their new enemy. He couldn't imagine telling them the promise that was made. Eventually. . .but not now.

"Let's get Leo out of here and then we can ask him about everything." Raph said, noticing Leo's distress. As much as he wanted Leo to continue, they were all vulnerable and Leo's injury needed to be treated. It was minor but it was still at risk for an infection.

Everyone nodded. Raph went straight for Leo. With Mikey's help they lifted the blue banded brother onto Raph's carapace. Leo cringed from the pain but bit his tongue in an effort not to hurt Mikey's feelings as the youngest got Leo situated. With Leo ready, the group wasted no time in making their way back home. Each of their hearts heavy with the loss of Donatello and clinging to the hope that they could face the future storm that was brewing. . .

Chapter Text

The dark streets of New York were vacant of its citizens. Sidewalks were littered with cars alongside barely illuminated by the worn street lamp posts. The wind had settled and all was silent. The moon shone brightly in the high sky, signaling the late hour. It was a rare moment where the city was void of chaos and havoc and replaced by peace. People were either settled in their homes, untouched at their beds or catching up on the late night networks. Others were stationed at their night shifts. To everyone, it was a normal evening. Some would even say it was a more pleasant evening than usual. Without the hustle and bustle that kept the city alive and awake, it seemed that quiet night gave people a breath of fresh air. The breath.

Such a thing is perceived differently. One person could argue saying the breath was like a break. A break in their life where they have a moment to relax. Others could say it was a sense of relief. Perhaps a struggle they long faced was accomplished and done with. Then, there's the concept that the single, relaxing breath is a warning. A calm before the storm. The longer the calm, the bigger the storm. Indeed, such a storm was brewing. Yet, the people would continue on with their lives, oblivious to the anguish that was soon to pass.

Katsumi let out a sigh as she overlooked the city from the inside of the Bushi Headquarters. The window she had access to was as long as her and twice as wide. The view was indescribable. It was beautiful. Her fingers mindlessly danced on the cold surface, leaving traces of vague fingerprints. Thinking about the city inhabitants gave Katsumi a feeling of jealousy.

How she longed to live a life where problems could easily be solved. Where her decisions wouldn't lead to the downfall of a family that did nothing to her in the past. She gazed up at the moon. The crescent shape was partially hidden behind the clouds, only leaving a portion visible to the eye. She silently prayed about her choices and the ones she knew she was going to make. Hoping that they were, like her friend had told her endlessly, for the good of a soul.

Her mind played back to the past. The moment her home village was destroyed was one that was painfully engraved in Katsumi's mind. Everything that was special to her was lost that day. Her sickly parents, dead. Her five siblings left damaged and suffered till death with immense pain. She almost perished. A close friend had managed to come to her aid and offered a chance of escape. Katsumi was forever grateful but was deeply depressed.

Her and her friend fled the village. That was when Katsumi was greeted with her first life changing decision. She had the opportunity either start a life anew, followed by her friend, or do as her closest friend, Osamu, had asked of her before he became trapped in the dreaded Foot Clan. Katsumi desperately wanted to leave with her other friend but she made a promise to Osamu. A new clan meant everything to her friend and she didn't want to break her word.

Katsumi asked the friend but it ended up to be a quick refusal. The friend left to join a new village, leaving Katsumi alone. It took months before she was finally able to piece together a group of soldiers that she trained. As time grew, so did the clan and the clan's strength. She had found other master's that greatly helped with their training and offered them weapons to use. Her and the soldiers each got jobs that quickly paid for a facility that they turned into their Japan Headquarters. She went over with the soldiers time and time again about the importance of honor and mercy. She instructed them. Strengthened them. She put her heart into the clan and truly believed that she had made the right decision in building the clan Osamu desperately dreamed of having.

When word of the Foot Clan's destruction reached Japan, Katsumi was deeply relieved and filled to the brink of excitement. Her long awaited friend was returning and together, they would raise the Bushi Clan into something greater.

Osamu returned and reignited long lost fears of Katsumi.

The Foot was a devilish clan that destroyed what they deemed useless. If action was taken, the Foot would take an action three times as big. They were corrupt and had no sense of honor. Osamu had promised her he would never fall victim to the Foot. He would be damned if he let them change and manipulate his mind. Katsumi wanted to believe her friend, her heart was yearning to trust but her mind couldn't help but be weary. Her mind ended up winning much to her dismay.

Katsumi had figured her friend would be different but not as drastic. Osamu was covered in scars. His muscles had grown along with his height. His figure was frightening and intimidating. She barely recognized him. Still, she put everything aside and the two worked together on the finishing touches. The Bushi Clan was soon at its climax but it didn't feel right.

Late nights passed where Katsumi heard Osamu practicing, always muttering about some turtle creatures. He was distant. His attention was never fully on the clan or the task at hand. He was more aggressive in nature. If a soldier performed a kata wrong or messed up during a sparring session, they faced Osamu's aggravated yells. His yells never resulted in physical abuse but Katsumi could see Osamu was holding his punches.

Katsumi grew anxious and worried about Osamu's behavior. It was so unlike how he was when she first had met him. He used to be kinder, more gentle, and yet still full of fire and passion. At that moment, he seemed lost in his once gentle nature and his passion turned into obsession. There was something that Osamu wanted. His eyes screamed of rage and need. Katsumi feared what his plans were but kept repeating to herself that whatever Osamu wanted to obtain, it was for the good of the clan.

This led to her third decision.

It was only a few nights ago when Osamu revealed what was keeping him up at night. His endless plotting and distracted nature was due to a mutant turtle ninja that according to Osamu, was a genius unlike no other. His IQ could easily rival Einstein's and the mutant was only a teenager. Katsumi had to admit that he seemed impressive but that didn't excuse Osamu's behavior. He had brilliant men already on his team with a fierce loyalty, why was this boy special?

Even after Osamu's explanation about why there was such a need, Katsumi still didn't feel a hundred percent confident that her friend's efforts were innocent. Osamu suggested to take this turtle away from his family in the hopes of showing the teen the true abuse he was supposedly suffering from. In all honesty, Osamu sounded like the Shredder, leader of the Foot Clan. Though, if the ninja was on the receiving end of abuse, Katsumi wanted to exert all the power she could muster to help. That's just how she was. In the end, she put her trust and loyalty into Osamu's hands and promised to aid him with the capture.

The capture was plotted out perfectly with little to no error. They had plenty of soldiers posted that guarded escape routes and kept track of the other turtles along with their human allies.

The game was set and the trap in place. Katsumi was ready for an easy take down. At least, it was almost an easy take down.

The turtle, known as Donatello, was accompanied by his eldest brother, Katsumi quickly learned. She thought nothing of it and still expected an easy fight. For a while it was, the turtles' escape plans were quickly thwarted and their soldier's kept them on the run. It wasn't long before Osamu ordered one to attack the eldest from behind in an attempt to hinder Donatello. It worked perfectly and Donatello was out before his brother could protest.

Katsumi cringed. All of that meant nothing to her. It was a normal capture and they ended victorious as predicted. That wasn't what made her sick. No, it was in fact what happened after they were able to detain and secure Donatello that made Katsumi's stomach tie in knots.

The eldest turtle had to be held back with far more guards than one would think. The turtle's endless thrashing and yelling brought shivers to Katsumi's body. From her distance, she could clearly see the pain.

The rage. The fear that vibrated off the turtle.

His dark blue eyes were like pointed daggers, fixated on Osamu. If there weren't guards to restrain him, Katsumi knew Osamu wouldn't have left the battlefield unscathed. The adrenaline and strength was evident enough that the turtle wasn't considering mercy an option. It made Katsumi's emotions swirl. If Donatello's brothers really were against him then why the urgent need to get him back? Why was his brother practically begging for them to let Donatello go? Surely, he must care. His whole family must care.

Another sigh escaped Katsumi's lips as she leaned her head on the window.

For the past hour she contemplated her decisions. Whether they were right or wrong, for the good or for the worst she didn't know. Nothing seemed clear. She longed to believe her close friend was going through all of this trouble for the reason he said and not the reasons she dread. She wanted to believe him when he told her that the only reason Donatello's brother acted the way he did was because he didn't want to lose a useful possession. Her eyes scanned over the city. Taking a deep breath she reminded herself that Osamu was doing this for the god of the turtle and for the clan. There was no selfish purpose whatsoever.

The distant blinking lights of a small private jet drew Katsumi's eyes overhead. The vehicle landed on the roof of the headquarters, signaling that it was time to leave.

Katsumi bent over, grabbing her duffle and the handle of her small suitcase. Osamu had ordered that she, alongside some other top soldiers in the clan, would journey back to Japan with him, and the turtle where Osamu would begin his overall goal. Katsumi estimated that they would be spending more than a couple weeks in the country. She could easily see from the encounter that Osamu had not too long ago with Donatello that the turtle wasn't going to back down. Convincing him would be no easier than convincing the Shredder to turn to the good side.

She dragged her suitcase and left the room she had been occupying in an organized manner. She walked by Bushi soldiers who made preparations for the flight. Besides the quiet shuffle of feet and hushed voices, the halls were quiet and void. The wheels of her suitcase bounced off the walls and the sound of her boots hitting the floor with each step echoed. Her face was mutual, masking her every growing heart rate.

It wasn't long before she reached the elevator that led to the roof. Katsumi nearly pushed the arrow pointing up when she decided against it. Something was nagging at her and she felt the need to check with Osamu about this. She motioned to a nearby soldier and handed him her luggage.

"Take it to the jet." She gently ordered, turning the other way before a confirmation. She walked back through the halls, descending a few staircases before reaching her destination.

Their prison hall wasn't big or anything special. It was a run of the mill prison with average cells that held nothing in them but the inmates that were stationed there. She walked past a few before reaching the one she knew held their only occupant. She had been here not long ago, having complied with Osamu's orders about preparing a jet. She looked back down the hall, contemplating on entering. Katsumi shook her head, her anxieties needed to be cleared if she was going to follow along with this plan.

She knocked on the door and entered.

Nothing seemed to have changed with the cell. There were some small blood stains that were still new but blended in perfectly with the cell floor. The room was barely lit but did enough to show the true depressing nature of the room itself. Katsumi gazed around the room, her eyes landing on the figure on the floor.

Donatello was in the same position as he was when she was in the cell earlier. His body on the floor and his head turned to the right side. His arms were loosely at his side and his knees were bent up. His mouth slightly ajar, filling the room with small whistles that were caused by the small gap in his teeth. It was almost cute to see the innocence and vulnerability.

Katsumi walked over to the unconscious turtle. She took a spot next to him on the floor, being mindful of the dried blood. It was the first time where she could take in the turtle's appearance. Donatello's shell barely hid his thin form. His body was covered with bruises, some fresh, some old. He had scrapes from the previous battle with his more serious injuries under wraps. Katsumi looked closer. The turtle's purple mask did little to hide the dark circle that was under his eyes. It seemed that there wasn't an inch of Donatello's body that was unbruised or untouched by abuse.

Katsumi felt her heartstring pull. She rubbed his shell in a circular motion hoping to offer some means of comfort to the unaware turtle.

As she rubbed, she heard the footsteps of another presence. She immediately knew who it was and kept her attention focused on Donatello. The figure stepped into the room and without saying a word, walked over to Katsumi, sitting adjacent to where she was positioned at.

"Do you swear, on your honor, that you really want to help the boy?" Katsumi spoke, pausing her fingers and averting her eyes in the opposite direction.

"Katsumi, I've said before that all I want is to help him. The methods I have planned for him may seem unconventional and inhumane but in the end you both will see that they were the only way. I promise." Osamu responded, keeping his voice soft.

Katsumi nodded, "Your mind is truly unique Osamu," she commented. "As long as you're doing what you're doing for the right reasons, I'm with you."

She moved her fingers to Donatello's head, gently caressing the side of his face, smiling from the continued whistles that left the turtle's lips.

"That's all I ask." Osamu stated, taking Katsumi's other hand his own with a squeeze.

The two sat in silence, mentally preparing themselves for the journey ahead and what was going to be done. Both knowing it was going to be hard, but neither knowing what was going to happen as a result.

"Sir, the jet is ready." A soldier entered the room, bowing to Osamu as he gave the news.

"Good. Any sign of the turtle's brothers or their friends?" Osamu asked, rising to his feet.

"No sir, our scouts have reported that the turtles really did flee to their lair to take care of their injured leader." The soldier responded.

"Perfect. Have the turtle on the jet within the next couple of minutes. Make sure he's comfortable and keep him hidden in the shadows while you get him on. I will have no interference from the other turtles or their allies." Osamu ordered. The soldier gave another bow and exited the room to grab more soldiers.

"Osamu?" Katsumi lifted herself off the floor.

"Yes?" Osamu asked, looking back at his friend.

"Never mind. . .It's not important. . ." Katsumi observed Donatello a final time as she made her way to the exit.

Katsumi made her way past the soldiers that went to gather Donatello. She ascended the stairs and made her way to the elevator she had previously declined. She admitted that her little trip did help to clear some anxieties but it did raise new ones.

She entered the elevator and pushed the button that would bring her to the roof. A steady stream of music played as the elevator climbed further and further to the destination.

'Why must we do this. . .'

Katsumi almost brought the question to Osamu but ultimately decided against it. She knew what his answer would've been anyway but still. It still nagged at her. They were going through all of this trouble for a turtle that came from a clan that Osamu wanted to see gone. It was just one of many questions that swirled in Katsumi's head that she knew she had to forgo. The questions and anxieties just added to the already stressful situation and any answers weren't going to come easily or quickly. She just had to have faith in Osamu's methods.

The elevator dinged, signaling the arrival of the designated floor. The doors opened, letting in a gust of ice cold wind that blistered in Katsumi's face. She closed her eyes tightly and left the confines of the warm elevator. She stepped out onto the rooftop, quickly spotting the small jet. Katsumi wrapped her arms around her and proceeded to the jet. Her hair flew in her face and after she nearly lost her step, she finally made it to the small staircase that led to the door.

The jet was as white as any other plan. It had little to no color or designs. From anyone's perspective, the miniature plane would be seen as normal and usual. Nothing special and nothing suspicious. She climbed the staircase and was greeted by the pilots as she entered.

She was greeted with warmth as she stepped into the jet. The interior was the complete opposite of the exterior. The jet held space for a group of six. Each seat was made of fine black leather. On the left side, between two chairs, was a small refrigerator that held various sodas, waters, and champagnes. Fine glasses were hung near the fridge along with an arrangement of Japanese snacks, raman, and candies. Each seat contained fancy pillows and accessible blankets. Overall, the jet was a beautiful ivory with cream carpets. Gold specks were scattered about and colorful lights highlighted the flooring. It was a luxurious jet and one that Osamu owned. From the look of it, Katsumi knew it was his most expensive one out of the few he owned. Even though Donatello was going to remain asleep for the flight, Osamu was sure adamant about keeping him comfortable.

Katsumi took a seat in the front where her duffle bag was located. She took her seat and felt the immediate effects of comfort. The leather was a soft material that fit her body perfectly. One of the pilots that greeted her walked back into the jet and walked to his station.

After a few minutes and a couple bags of chips, Two soldiers entered, each holding Donatello's arms as he was hanging in between them. The turtle groaned from the movement but was otherwise silent. The soldiers awkwardly moved to the back of the jet, placing Donatello on the right side. The soldiers took their spots in the middle, adjusting and relieving their bodies of the weight they carried. Donatello seemed undisturbed as his body settled into the seat. His breathing became easier and his groans ceased, turning into calming snores.

Osamu entered shortly after, with his own duffle. His armor was completely removed and replaced by a black sweatshirt.

"Well aren't you comfortable?" Katsumi laughed. It was a rare moment where Osamu looked so relaxed and comfortable.

"Might as well." Osamu said. He looked back at Donatello, making sure he was secure before taking a seat beside Katsumi.

The doors of the jet were shut tightly as the second pilot took his position. Katsumi looked out the window and she leaned into her chair. The sun began its peak as the lights of the city turned off. She could see the bustle of the people begin as they left their homes and entered their cars. Her hand rested against the window. No one, not even Osamu, knew how long they would be away from the city. It all depended on Donatello. It could be weeks, months before they returned. Katsumi caught one last look at the city as the jet took off. After a few moments, Osamu turned to the soldiers.

"Now remember, Donatello cannot know that we're in Japan. No matter what he is to believe that he is still in New York." He firmly stated. The other soldiers nodded in understanding, adding a snicker in response.

Katsumi mirrored their responses, it was a dirty move but it would help in his plan. If Donatello fully believed he was in New York, he could be tricked into thinking his brothers didn't care for him when in fact it would be that his brothers had no way of finding him. It wasn't the best idea but like Osamu had begun to say often, it was for Donatello's own good.

She pulled out a blanket and settled herself. She turned her head towards Donatello. Against her body's wishes, she left her seat and walked to the unconscious turtle. She pulled out another blanket that was in a compartment near his seat. Katsumi placed the blanket onto Donatello's body, making sure that it would stay and not fall off. She double checked him, satisfied, she returned to her seat. Gathering her own blanket, she snuggled against the chair and fell into a deep slumber.

A thirteen hour flight later they arrived at their destination. Katsumi knew she was going to feel the jet leg in the morning but she didn't care. All she wanted was to return to her living quarters and sleep for the next day. The jet landed on the roof of their familiar Japanese headquarters with ease. The sun was almost set, illuminating the sky with a dark twilight. The city was even more lit than New York, anime music played throughout the streets below as people danced through them. The intoxicating smell of Japanese street food made Katsumi's stomach rumble. How she missed her home country but she wasn't here to dance and eat.

The soldier's followed her out carrying a still sleeping Donatello. The drug had worked perfectly throughout the flight. The terrapin had been monitored the whole flight and showed no signs of waking. The drug wouldn't last forever though. Osamu estimated they had only a few more hours until Donatello awoke, meaning they only had a few hours to get the turtle ready in his cell and prepare.

Osamu exited the jet last, giving his thanks to the pilots before joining Katsumi and the two soldiers carrying Donatello. He motioned to two other soldiers that were positioned by the nearest elevator.

"Daisuki, Daichi," he addressed, "give Donatello to those men. They have his cell ready and will deliver him to them. Also, tell them to change his bandages." Osamu ordered. The two guards nodded and carried Donatello off to the others. A small conversation took place and before long, the other men took Donatello through the elevator.

"Katsumi," Osamu turned to her, his voice carrying through the gentle breeze, "get as much rest as you can. I want you to be at my side when Donatello wakes."

She nodded, muffling her groan of protest. "What will you be doing?" She asked.

"I need to regroup with some of our scientists. I emailed them about the technology I'm going to need for the breaking." He stated.

The breaking. A name that Osamu officially called the first part of the plan. In his words, they first had to break Donatello before they could help him. Along with this, he had emailed some of his inventors that worked under him about possible ideas and inventions that he wanted to 'use'.

She nodded again, letting a yawn escape. Osamu smiled in response. He rubbed her shoulders before guiding her to the elevator. He pressed the down button and the two entered.

Katsumi's eyes drooped. Her mind weary. This was the moment. All her decisions in life led to this moment. This was her last chance to back out and scold Osamu for this plan. Tell him it was too close to the Shredder's methods. Tell him that if he continued he would be no different.

"Thank you." Osamu said softly.

"For what?" Katsumi inquired, confused for the unexpected thanks.

"For everything. You could've declined in the beginning, you could've refused to help with my clan but you didn't. You gathered the best group of soldiers and did everything you could to make sure their loyalty was with the Bushi Clan. You still believed in me after the years of my life I spent in the Foot.

"Even now, you could've argued with me about sticking to our original plan about destroying the foot and hindering the Hamato Clan, but you didn't. You stood by my decision about Donatello and even now you stand with me. You and I both know that this might not work. Donatello may not ever see what I want him to and may not ever join alongside this clan yet, you're still here. So thank you. Your support is the only reason why I haven't failed and why I have what I've always wanted."

Katsumi smiled, blinking away the tears that formed in her eyes as she looked up at Osamu. How could she reject such a thoughtful monologue? Osamu may seem corrupt but he still was a good friend. His heart was still the way she remembered it as they were kids. There was no way she could argue with him after that. Katsumi decided she wouldn't. She made her fourth decision that she knew would have a lasting effect on the future.

"I appreciate it Osamu, I really do." Katsumi responded as the elevator opened on the floor of her room. She gave Osamu a tight hug as she exited.

"I will see you soon, Katsumi." Osamu smiled, the doors closing as it descended.

Katsumi walked off to her room, her duffle slung around her arm. She found the familiar door and entered with the quick turn of her key.

The room was the same as she left it. It was nothing special. A bed with a Japanese art style comforter in the corner. A personal bathroom with white walls that went with her black walls of her room. She had a small balcony that looked over the small city they were near. Katsumi dropped her bag and collapsed on her bed. Exhaustion quickly took over her as she fell asleep, her heart ever so slowly relaxing and euphoric to the events that awaited the next morning. . .

Chapter Text

"Donnie, work faster"

"He's too dangerous"

"...and sad, it's sadorable"

"I never want to see you again!"

"Well, try harder!"

. . .

The steady stream oxygen flowed through his lungs with difficulty. Each inhale felt as though needles stabbed his insides. A gentle exhale barely released his body of it's internal stress. As the motion continued, his other limbs became aware of his awakening. His muscles stung with the feeling of blood flow. They screamed from the lack of activity yet shook from previous strain. His arms were immovable as were his legs. His small efforts to move them ended in nothing but a searing pain that lasted no longer than a few seconds. He shifted his focus from his lower body to his upper one, relying on his turtle-luck. Despite his concentration, his eyes remained shut. Leaving his physical analysis one he'd have to do without the sense of his vision.

Without a clear sight, Donatello guessed he was suffering a deep contusion in his lower right leg. He could feel the limb covered in tight wrappings, the stinging sensation meaning it was treated with some sort of antibiotic not too long ago. For a moment, Donnie felt relief. Wherever he was, someone had the compassion to treat his injury rather than let it suffer infection and become fatal.

'Cause that's a comforting thought. . .' He thought sarcastically to himself.

A shot of pain through his left arm informed him of another injury. This one seemed minor compared to the one he previously examined. Similarly, it was wrapped and the lingering pain of an antibody was present, but the wrappings weren't as secure nor did he feel as much tissue damage.

With his physical diagnosis completed, Donatello's focus shifted to his mind.

His head pounded in sync with the rhythm of his heartbeat. It became unbearable as it took over his usual sense of thinking. He no longer could visualize the hundreds of thoughts and ideas that danced around his psyche. Gone were the complex equations, replaced by the growing pain that resided in their stead. This slow way of thinking was alien to the turtle. His only experience with this way of thinking was when Mikey knocked his failed attempt on an antidote serum for Karai onto himself. The serum had caused his brain to practically shut down. He shuddered from the memory, causing his head to drum even harder.

A small ring started to emanate from his ears, acting as another variable to his smothered thoughts. Yet, throughout the pain, one question triggered his emotions and feelings the most.

'Where am I?'

His sluggish mind worked slowly and with small movements of his body he concluded he couldn't be in his home, much less anywhere he recognized.

His body was positioned weirdly, almost as if he was on a chair of some sorts. He noted the difficulty in moving his arms and legs, pointing out that they were either cuffed or too weak to move.

There was no way he was home. If he had been in the lair, he would be lying down on the old cot he and his brothers had found a couple years back. He would see the bright and familiar lights of his lab seep through his closed eyelids, not complete darkness.

Wouldn't he also be able to sense the presence that indicated if one of his brothers were watching over him? Alas, all Donnie could sense was the cold dreary room he was being held in. Which pegged his next question.

'How'd I get here?'

Ignoring his pain, Donnie searched through his last memories. There had to be some answer stored in his mind that would allude to whom he was with or what led up to him being wherever he may be.

He muffled a groan that was caused by the force he was using to sift through his foggy memories.

'Okay okay, focus Donatello, focus. You can do this. Just try to remember. . .I was, where was I before this. . .? A faint recollection slowly played through his mind.

He was in the lair, specifically his lab. He was trying yet again to find the motivation to invent a new project. He remembered a sketch of something he had left in his room before. . .before their family tragedy.

He cautiously stepped out of his prized lab, taking note of where his brothers were. He heavily suspected that Leo and Raph were planning an intervention for his behavior. All of his brothers had begun to find their own ways of healing and moving forward with their father's passing, Donnie being the only one showing no signs of improvement.

Deep down, the genius turtle was doing everything in his power to get over the pain. He struggled to keep fighting the torment and anguish that was enveloping him. He assumed if he kept tucking away like he always did when something happened, it would all go away. He found, this time it was much more difficult. His father's death had unknowingly caused the pain and devastation that Donatello had previously faced to resurface. From the time of Metalhead's failure up to his body being scattered by the woman of his dreams, every little thought and depressed feeling claimed his well known peaceful and calm nature. All he felt he could do was let the emotions wither away into nothingness. It would be a painful and unforgiving solution yes, but it was the only one he could think of that wouldn't have involved his brothers.

In the past, Donnie rarely let his brothers know his true emotions. His fear of humiliation and his need to solve his own problems always prevented him from speaking out. This time would be no different. Hence, his urgency to get to his room and back to his lab as quickly as possible to avoid the unwanted attention from his older brothers.

Like everything else in his life, his attempt ended in complete and utter failure.

He departed his room, unsuccessful in finding anything useful, and headed back to his lab. When he had left he concluded that Mikey was in the kitchen from the cheery hum that echoed through their home. Raph was punching the dummy and faced in the opposite direction of Donnie's lab doors. As for Leo, that was the only turtle Donatello hadn't been able to spot so he figured his brother was practicing in the dojo. So when he saw said turtle kneeling in front of the doors to his lab, Donnie internally screamed.

He knew Leo meant well. His eldest brother was most likely trying to coax him out of his lab in an effort to talk about his feelings. Honestly, Donnie did want to share some of the internal stress he was hiding behind his fake smiles but there was just so much strife that Donnie feared he would overwhelm his brother. Leo was already overwhelmed enough as it was. His brother had to immediately jump into the position as the clan leader, and take their father's place without little to no time to prepare or ready himself.

Donnie's heart squeezed painfully as he heard his brother's pleas. Yet, it wasn't enough for him to let down his guard that he worked so long to build up. It wasn't enough for Donnie to fall to his knees and beg for the brotherly love he often craved during long and painful nights that were filled with endless nightmares.

The genius turtle took a deep breath before making his presence known unto his brother. If the situation was different he would've found Leo's obvious embarrassment amusing. His brother had no idea that the turtle he was begging to see was standing right behind him.

For a moment, when Leo followed Donnie to his lab, Donnie could feel his emotional built up loosen. A small truth was so close to departing his lips. He almost couldn't stop himself. Luckily, his baby brother interrupted them before Donnie could spill. Donnie thanked his lucky stars for his brother's timing. The genius turtle had no intention of breaking down and showing his brothers just how truly weak he was.

Or how broken he had become. . .

Tears gathered in Donatello's tightly closed eyelids. His intention had been to stray his brothers from the truth, let them believe that he wasn't broken or weak. Yet here he was. Being held in some unknown location by an unknown force, crying like a scared little tot.

The rest of his memories were foggy after that. He remembered patrol and being separated with Leo. Leo had done so with the intent of getting to the bottom of Donnie's endless torment. After that. . .that's when Donnie's mind grew hazy. There was a fight of some kind. With a new team of ninjas. Him and Leo had been ambushed. It was total chaos. He had been hurt, protecting Leo. . .

LEO

With newfound energy, Donnie struggled against his restraints. If he had been taken by the new enemy, no doubt that Leo had been as well. Unless Raph and Mikey had shown up after he lost consciousness. But if so. . .why was he here? Did they get taken as well?

Donnie continued his struggle, his eyes wide with fear as he could only see a void of darkness. That didn't make sense. If his eyes were open, and they indeed were, shouldn't he see some source of light? At least light that would emanate from a gap between a door and the floor. Despite the pain he still felt in his cranium, Donnie shook his head, finally realizing the added weight.

He stomped the shaking movement, slowly turning his head in different directions. There was something attached to it, a helmet of some sorts. A specific type that covered his eyes and the back of his head. The helmet was too heavy to determine if there was anything attached to it. Still, it did nothing but raise Donnie's fears. He tried to deduce all the possible outcomes and reasons for said helmet but of course, such thinking only added to his continued headache.

From the lack of noise there was a rare chance that he was alone in whatever room he was being kept in. Donnie felt a sense of Deja vu. He recalled being in a very similar situation about a year back.

It was when Karai was under the control of Shredder's brain worm mind control. She had targeted him and his brothers, leading them into deadly traps with the goal of luring Splinter out of hiding. The plan had worked, with Donnie being the first one to fall for the kunoichi's trap. Donnie internally cringed. Karai had used his feelings for April to her advantage. Then again, it's not like Donnie had been completely thinking straight that night.

Before Karai came into the picture, Donnie and Leo had another major scuffle. The argument hurt Donnie in ways he was afraid to admit to his brother. It was a painful memory that he kept buried deep in the confinements of his darkest emotions, along with all the other emotional trauma he faced with his brother.

When Karai had made her move, the purple masked brother had let his feelings get the best of him, again, and let himself fall into her hands. He was placed in a chamber where he was cuffed to a metal chair. He had a metal helmet that had been connected to hundreds of wires that placed him inside a deadly game of Tetris known as the Brain Boggler. If he had many mistakes he would face a high voltage shock. If it wasn't for Mikey. . .Splinter would've lost two children that night.

Donnie just hoped whatever maniac was in charge wouldn't repeat Karai's torture method. He didn't know if he could face so many shocks again.

"Donatello."

Donnie's eyes grew wide, not just from the voice that echoed through the walls but because how familiar the voice was. Another piece of memory was unlocked from the jumbled mess that had become of his mind.

He had woken up in a cell after the ambush, right? Yeah. He was in pain and had been trying to get his bearings. Then a man-Osamu, came in. If Donnie had been standing he was sure the guy would still be a few feet taller than him. He was intimidating but his expression was oddly soft. He showed no weapons and kept a safe distance away. Donnie's senses were heightened by the approach.

He remembered Osamu talking to him, explaining the classic villain monologue about who he was, where he came from, and why he was doing what he was doing. Donnie rolled his eyes from the lack of originality, yet the villain wasn't completely cliche. He had mentioned that he found interest in Donnie but it was for a different reason than he expected. Instead of assuming Donnie would just magically fall into the guy's hands, ready to build or invent whatever the idiot wanted, Osamu made note of noticing Donnie's distressed feelings.

It was strange and Donnie was perplexed. He never had met a villain that was interested in helping him or his brothers emotionally, it was usually the opposite that occurred. Antagonists would usually take pride in breaking their emotions, doing whatever it took to destroy them physically and mentally. It was never the other way around, making this guy a new kind of dangerous.

He recalled the man saying that he wanted to show Donnie the true abuse he was facing with family, specifically his brothers.

'Ah yes, because keeping me locked onto a chair that will in no doubt cause me harm will make me see that my brother's are in the wrong in this situation. Awesome job dude, awesome job. . .'

"Do you remember what happened before you were brought here?" Osamu said, keeping a calm tone as he broke the silence.

"Let's see, ah yes, you ambushed me and brother, hurt us, and then proceeded to kidnap me. You told me you wanted to turn me against my brothers or something stupid like that before knocking me out again. Next thing I know I'm stuck in this chair with a migraine, and seriously regretting not hurting you when I had the chance." Donnie groaned, his throat painfully dry.

"Still sarcastic I see? Well at least you still have your memories, that's good." Osamu responded. From the way his voice was bouncing off the walls, Donnie determined that he was speaking through a microphone that was being transmitted by a speaker, located in one of the upper right corners of the room. Meaning, Osamu was either watching him through a camera or could see him through a one sided mirror. Perhaps, if he could manage to get loose he could-

"Wait, why is it important that I've retained my memories? I mean, it's a relief to me knowing I don't have memory loss, but why is it to you? Especially when you're trying to, what was it again? Oh yeah, turn me against my family." Donnie asked sharply, hiding his growing anxiety.

"You'll see soon." Osamu responded, sending chills down Donnie's shell.

"Gee thanks, you're so comforting. I think I'm feeling much better, can I go home now?" Donnie internally rolled his eyes. He knew he was taking a risk using his quick wit and sarcastic remarks but without his brothers there, and the fact he was completely tied down, he felt vulnerable, and frankly scared. Was it pathetic? Of course but it wasn't like he was the strong one out of his brothers.

All Donnie received was a small smirk. "Now, before we start, please understand that everything you're going to perceive is from your mind and your mind alone. It's not by any means manipulated in any way. The only part I play in this, is how much you see and how long you see it. If, by any point, you're ready to give up completely, we'll see just how strongly you feel about your family."

"So let me get this straight." Donnie interjected, after a few moments of silence. "I'm gonna assume you spent millions of dollars on this particular technology you're talking about. I mean, you have to have some sort of advanced tech that makes you believe it will possibly sever my connection with my brothers. So considering that factor, along with the soldiers that are no doubt keeping my brothers at bay, you're using up valuable resources for a hypothesis that will most unlikely end in failure. Right?" Donnie asked, trying to turn the ever growing uncomfortable conversation away from him

"Yes, you are, to some extent, correct. I am aware of the small percentage of this working out but I tend to look on the positive side. The fact that there is a small chance of this succeeding is enough for me to fund the technology needed and use my soldiers for, what did you say? Oh right, keeping your vacant brothers at bay."

"So I was right." Donnie said with a smirk.

"May I inquire about what?"

"That it would take you just about five minutes to lie about my brothers being, as you said, vacant. Judging by the long lasting effects of whatever you drugged me with, I've been unconscious for about twenty-four hours. If that's true, which is most likely, that gave my brothers a day to patch Leo up from a small shoulder injury. Now if I know my brother in blue, which I do, he would easily brush off the wound and assume his role as leader like usual. Him and the others have no doubt figured out a plan by now and if not now, should at least sneak past your defenses soon enough." Donnie said, finagling feeling a little confident and believing wholeheartedly that his words were true.

All that he heard in response was laughter. Donnie dared not show he was feeling slightly humiliated by the uproar. He tried to keep his head high in protest.

"You really believe that, don't you? I will admit, you're correct about being unconscious for about a full day and you're possibly right about what you said about your oldest brother. You are wrong though. My soldiers have seen no signs of your brothers or your friends. No vehicles, no ambushes, and there's been no soldiers reported missing. Now could I be lying, sure. Anyone in my shoes would do anything to make you believe no one's coming.

"But I'm not anyone. You know and I know that I'm not following your usual enemies footsteps. But hey, for your sake, here's something. If, by chance, your brothers do try anything to infiltrate this facility, I guarantee you'll know from our vast alarm and security systems. They can be quite loud. So, look out for those and who knows, maybe you're brother will prove me wrong after all."

Donnie said nothing. It had to be a trick, right? Just a bunch of lies. . .his brothers were coming for him. He just knew it. From all the times they saved each other, it shouldn't be long now. He couldn't be that far away from them, maybe a little update but they all knew the city like the back of their hand. They just had to be close. . .

"No quick wit? Nothing to say in response?" Osamu nearly mocked.

"Kiss my shell." Donnie said bitterly, yet not as menacing as he had hoped.

"Well if that's all of your sarcasm, I do think we will begin the experiment so see if this little hypothesis will fail. Please remember Donatello, what you are going to see is merely being shown to you by my hand indirectly, it's the ones you love that have caused it directly. I will hopefully see you soon Donatello, but please, take all the time you need."

With that final statement, the mic was turned off and everything was back to the same eerie silence as it started. Donnie could only stare into the black abyss. He tried to pull his limbs again, nothing seemed loose. His heart was starting to decrease, his fear buying up as his head began to feel painfully tight.

He scrunched his eyes as the tightness increased.

"Shell. . ." He groaned.

Suddenly he felt like he was being pulled inside of himself. Against his will his consciousness was forced into his deep and secluded memories. It was a place that he rarely visited. A place that always called to him during his rare moments of meditation. A spiritual body, a vibrant violet, materialized as a memory displayed like a screen across his eyes. His spiritual body was forced to stay still and unmoving. He could do nothing to shake off the unknown force that kept him captive in his own mind.

Oh how he regretted not spending more time in strengthening his spirit. All those years of constant pushing meditation aside, ignoring his father's lessons on the importance of spiritual power were really coming back and biting him in the shell. As a kid he didn't see the need for the practice. He was always so focused on his mind and all he could accomplish with it that he didn't see the need for spiritual strength. Even then, it was hard to believe in something he didn't think existed. When he got older he practiced more meditation as per Splinter's orders but he rarely did it on his own time. It wasn't till he reached his mid teens that he did it more often but it was always quick and simple. Just a small visit to the astral plane and that was that. Sure, he knew some complicated techniques but none of them could help with something like this.

This was something he had no idea how to get out of.

This was something he was not prepared for. . .

He continued to struggle, his head hammering harder than ever before. His mind worked against him, pulling out a memory, one that he had kept locked away, only every seeing in his nightmares.

The quiet lair and darkness that surrounded it informed Donatello that his brothers had gone to rest, letting their wounds heal and their energy fill for the next day that was to come. All that could be heard was the sounds of Mikey's distant snores. The little sound that could be heard from the dojo signaling that even Master Splinter was asleep at this hour. Donnie knew if any of his brothers or father found him awake at this hour they would no doubt persuade him to get rest like the rest of them. Especially since he was the one most affected by the day's events. Though, it was not uncommon for the resident genius to spend the nightly hours typing away at his laptop or tinkering with some new project that had grabbed his attention. Yet, this night was different. Instead of his usual nightly antics, Donatello slumped into his desk chair. He didn't have the energy nor the passion to work on any of his half finished projects. All the turtle found himself doing was staring at his most recent project. Or, his most recent failure. . .

Just off to the corner of the genius's lab lay the broken and damaged robot that Mikey had dubbed Metalhead. The robot turtle was a little shorter than Michelangelo, having a yellow painted mask. The turtle droid had been the product of some kraang tech and other scrap parts Donnie had been keeping in his storage for a while. Ever since he was a small tot, he always imagined building some sort of awesome robot. One that could help him in his brothers in battle, no matter the foe. One that would prove his skills to the family. One, just one invention, that would prove his worth.

"Oh yeah, some worthy ninja I am." he said to no one in particular.

Truthfully, the idea of metalhead came from his feelings of feeling inferior to his brothers. Ever since Splinter began teaching them all the art of ninjutsu, Donnie was always two steps behind his brothers. He wasn't as dedicated as Leo, as strong as Raph, or as energetic as Mikey. He was told time and time again about spending too much time in his mind and not enough on his spirit. But how could he not? The mind is where he thrived. Everything made sense there. It was where he was at his most comfortable. It's not that Donnie didn't love training, but it was always much harder when he saw the amazing progress his brother's were making. When it came to the day they each got their weapons, he gawked at the incredible katanas and sais that his oldest brothers received, and could only respond in disappointment as he received his bo staff.

To be fair, Donnie did find the advantages to having a staff, and to some extent it did fit him better than any other weapons, but he couldn't help to compare the wooden weapon to his brothers'. What was even worse was when they started dealing with the kraang. The alien robot's tech was much more advanced than any of their other foes. Sure, Donnie had figured how to crack some of their codes but when it came to fighting them. . .that was a whole different story. A story that led to the creation of Metalhead.

Donnie had really believed that his new invention would be able to work. To maybe even take his place on the battlefield while he worked on the technological issues he was used to facing. Everything seemed fine at first. Metalhead worked flawlessly, defeating his brothers in less than a minute. He took every hit that was thrown at him and then some. He was easily able to deflect his brother's attacks and hit them with his own flare. Donnie would never admit out loud, but the moment his creation took out each of his brothers brought a sense of satisfaction to the genius. How long did he face endless sparring sessions with his brothers that only ended with his shell on the ground? Their taunting and teasing were never dull to his ears and only made everything worse. It was just another reason why he couldn't help but admire his creation.

That's when the whole day turned into a rollercoaster. Per Splinter's blessing, Donnie was allowed to take Metalhead for a 'test run'. As much as Donnie wanted to follow his sensei's wishes he couldn't contain the amount of excitement and eagerness. So against his father's permission, he took metalhead out into combat. His brothers were fighting the kraang that night and metalhead was kicking some serious robot bot. At least until something went wrong and the kraang took over metalhead's AI.

At that point, Donnie had no choice but to join his brothers and destroy what he had created. It was one of the most painful things he had to do, despite his loud victorious battle cry after stabbing metalhead with his bo. He stared directly at the robot he spent hours upon hours working on. The robot that was supposed to prove he wasn't useless.

Donnie had put on a facade the rest of the night. Splinter's kind words were thoughtful and did soften his mood. Though, the mood was killed when he fired off his missile launcher staff. Definitely not the brightest idea. He was sure he was going to receive more verbal abuse from his hotheaded brother but thankfully Leo had stepped in. His oldest brother didn't say much but Donnie was grateful nonetheless to clean up the rubble that was caused without Raph's remarks. When he had finished cleaning, everyone was announcing that they were headed off to bed. Splinter had wished them goodnight, falsely assuming they were all going to bed.

Donnie let a small whimper escape as he continued staring at his broken invention. It was almost ironic. He and his older brothers would often get on Mikey's case about breaking stuff when Donnie himself was just as much prone to destruction. He couldn't count how many times his inventions blew up in his face or failed at their necessary tasks.

His tired eyes looked over the robot again before settling on the computer monitor. The monitor was inactive, revealing a reflection of Donnie. He could see the dark circles that were forthcoming. In fact, everything about his reflection was nothing short of pathetic. His cheeks were caved slightly and his eyes nearly matched the red crimson pigment of his eye color.

"Why am I so pathetic?" He asked, again to no one in particular.

He rested his head on the desk as he filled his lab with quiet sobs.

"What a shame, you really think brothers would be more supportive about an incredible project. . ." Osamu whispered into his mic.

Unknown to Donatello, Osamu had full access to what the turtle was being forced to watch. He even could force his own voice inside the young turtle's mind.

He watched as Donatello struggled against his restraints, trying with all his might to push away the memory. It was no use.

Before he had acquired Donatello, Osamu had assembled some of the top scientists and asked if they would be willingly to work on a secret project for the sum of a lot of money. The group had agreed instantly, and with Osamu's description had come together to create a device he knew he would need for Donatello's breaking.

It was a specially designed helmet that had the technology to allow passage through the wearer's memories. It carefully examined brain waves and could transmit them into what the wearer had felt during that exact moment. It costed a lot but Osamu saw that it was worth it. Extremely worth it. He, Katsumi, and one of the scientists was in a room, separate from Donatello's cell, watching him through a monitor from a camera. It was just simply perfect.

Along with the device, Osamu had administered a strong drug into Donatello's system that could weaken the turtle's complex mind. It made the mind more sensitive and more submissive in a way that Osamu knew he would never have the ability to do, especially with a mind that belonged to such a genius.

To accompany both tactics, Osamu had the power to release electrical currents to Donatello. He planned on starting with small shocks and increasing them when harsh remarks were being spoken. As for when any physical contact happened, Osamu would order a soldier to go into the room and injure Donatello in a similar, but a more hurtful way.

It was all just part of his plan.

"Tell me, what is he feeling?" Osamu asked the scientist.

"From the results, he's starting to feel very distressed." The scientist responded.

"Alright, is it safe to force him into another one? Perhaps one that includes his brothers in another way?" He asked.

"Not yet, with the drug and this being his first memory I would say let him have a little break, then we can look into what he should see next."

Osamu nodded. He knew he couldn't rush into the process of breaking. He needed to use patience and the utmost of focus. From his past conversations, he knew this process was going to be a while but it wouldn't be forever. There was only so much the turtle could take before he would reach his breaking point. . .

Chapter Text

He raised his katana, bringing the sharp blade near his face, blocking the same weapon from inflicting any damage. Well, any further damage. He seethed from the weight of his opponent but his adrenaline kicked. He exerted his muscles and pushed harder against the enemy, pushing them to his feet. Streams of blood fell to the rooftop from his various injuries. The blood painted his body, concealing the soft green into one of dark crimson. His normal blue mask was worn and ragged, nearly falling apart. His body was starting to shake from the extreme pressure he was putting on it as his injuries screamed for him to rest. They pleaded for relief but he couldn't stop. He wouldn't stop. Not as long as those luminescent eyes stared through his soul.

They were still but carried no sort of comforting emotion. They were shown with hate and satisfaction. The devilish smirk partnered the eerie glow of his eyes. The shadows of the night concealed the true identity of the foe, the moon illuminating various features such as the metallic armor that covered the enemy from head to toe, the jagged helmet that only allowed Leo to see the figure's eyes and vicious smirk. There were no words spoken between the two. The only sounds that were made were the clash of weapons and the grunts that followed.

Leo readied himself for the next strike. He didn't know how he came to be here or why. The last thing he remembered was heading off to bed after a long night of searching for his missing brother. It had been a week. One full week since the capture of Donatello and neither Leo or his brothers or any of their allies had found a single clue as to where he was taken. There were no clues and every night of constant failure had begun to take its toll on the group. So much so that Leo had finally decided to get some rest to clear his troubling thoughts. Next thing he knew he was on top of this destitute rooftop, fighting some unknown enemy.

Yet, the enemy seemed familiar. The armor resembled something he had seen and grown to fear in the past, belonging to an ever lasting enemy that had been defeated not too long ago, but it didn't feel right. The ninja's moves weren't ones he had faced before, the moves were a stranger to him. The ninja himself though. Leo couldn't wrap his head around the feelings his inner self was feeling. It was odd.

The figure raised his katana, his body language steady and firm. He brought his weapon down on Leo once again. As Leo prepared to dodge, the enemy pulled his weapon back, placing a heavy kick on the turtle's side in less than a second. Leo was stunned from the unexpected impact, his body fell to the cold, bloody floor. He grunted, holding his side as he pushed himself upright, back into his standing position. He gripped his katana harder, staring the foe down.

"Who are you!" Leo yelled, his voice echoing through the night. His breathing quickened as the adrenaline wore. He could feel the energy deplete his body but he didn't care. All he wanted was some answers.

"Have you forgotten already? You know who I am, Leonardo." The man said, pulling off his helmet to reveal his face. To Leo's family, the face would be unrecognizable, the voice unknown, but not to Leo. His pupils thinned, his body felt numb as he looked into the eyes of the unmasked man. He'd only seen the man once but that was enough to make his blood run cold and send shivers down his body.

Osamu.

Leo's locked onto the man, letting nothing falter him. He met Osamu a week ago, and hadn't seen or heard from the man since. Leo didn't remember much of what Osamu had told him, but that wasn't the big issue. No, what made Leo's heart pump with hate was the fact that Osamu was the one responsible for Donnie's capture. The devilish man had sent his team of ninjas to attack both him and Donnie while they were on patrol, separated from the rest of their team. The fight was brutal, both Leo and Donnie had been injured during it but in the end, it wasn't the injuries that made the ambush utterly heartbreaking. Leo had been forced to watch as his second youngest brother lying helpless in an unconscious state as Osamu revealed his appearance. The man had towered over them, mimicking their greatest enemy.

Despite Leo's struggles, the ninjas' grip didn't lighten in any way. He watched as Osamu drew nearer. He feared for a moment that the man was going to take the situation to his advantage and inflict serious damage on the brotherly pair. In a way, he had. Osamu never caused physical harm to them but the emotional harm was just, if not, more difficult than any wound Leo had received in his lifetime. The man had explained his plan, as villains often do, informing Leo that he had the intent of leaving the fight with his brother. Yet, it was the last words Osamu had spoken to Leo that shook the leader to his very core. Words that he hadn't even spoken to his brothers about, the fear of them being true was just too great.

"The only way you'll find your brother is when I intend for it. Heed this warning Leonardo. The next time you see Donatello, he won't be the same. No, when you see your precious little brother again, his loyalties will lie with me."

Those words stuck close to Leo's heart. They taunted him. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself that they were false, that they would never come to pass, the fear of their truth creeped into his mind, absorbing his thoughts. His emotions clouded with fear as he told himself time and time again that there was no way for his words to come to pass. Leo couldn't help it though. Something just felt different about Osamu. He wasn't like other foes they faced, mind the eerie resemblance to Shredder that is. Still, there was just something different about the Bushi leader that drove Leo harder when he practiced or searched for his brother.

"Where is my brother?" Leo asked, his tone acting as a warning for whatever answer Osamu had in store.

"Somewhere where you will never find him." Osamu laughed. The two ninjas began circling one another, their weapon at the ready for whomever was to strike next. The atmosphere above them shook with a rigorous thunder.

"You're wrong. Wherever you're keeping my brother, I will find him." Leo said, his eyes never leaving Osamu's, keeping his glare cold.

"Not this time. Has it been that long that you already have forgotten my last words to you?" Osamu smirked, "You're not going to see Donatello until I say otherwise. It may happen soon or maybe never.."

Leo sneered. "My brothers and I won't stop searching for him. We'll bring him home and take you down. I swear it, we're going to make you regret the day you took one of our own." Leo pulled out his other katana. The anger radiating off of him was too much for him to handle. The sky poured down on them. A mixture of rain and sweat raced down Leo's body.

He charged to Osamu, his grip tightening as he increased his speed. His swords hit Osamu's katana with a loud clang. The swords glistened in the moonlight. "I will save him." Leo said through gritted teeth.

"You'll be too late. By the time you see Donatello, he'll be unrecognizable. I'll be the one he follows and seeks comfort from. His extraordinary gifts will work in my favor. Everything about the Donatello you know will be nothing short of broken remains."

Leo couldn't take it anymore. Not holding back, Leo forced Osamu to the ground once again. The two engaged in a fight, their weapons clashing, their movements fluid. They each executed katas that they had longed mastered, trying with all their might to find a split moment of weakness. Leo went to the offensive, his emotion gave him momentum to attack more furiously. He could feel his adrenaline climb back. He knew it wouldn't last long, he knew he had to end everything right here and right now.

After what felt like hours of fighting, Leo delivered a swift kick to Osamu's abdomen. The soldier fell to the ground in pain and in utter exhaustion. This was the moment. This was the moment Leo had waited for. He raised his katana high over Osamu.

"You dare attack and take a member of my family after we continue to suffer the loss of our father. You dare make plans about transforming my little brother into someone that will come to serve you and leave our clan. You are sadly mistaken, Osamu. Tonight, your plans fail. Tonight, your reign of terror over my family ends along with your pitiful life."

He raised his weapon high, positioning it over Osamu's heart. This was it. The final blow.

Closing his eyes, Leo brought down his weapon, waiting for the katana to hit the soft flesh. Instead, Leo was met with the sound of steel hitting wood. Letting his eyes flutter open, Leo frantically searched for what had caused the weapon to halt in its descent. His stomach flipped, his heart racing, his mind telling him it was all a lie. It had to be the rain messing with his sight, there was no way.

He gaze locked with the soft, crimson eyes he had grown up with. The eyes that held so much emotion and turmoil, it squeezed at Leo's heartstrings. Yet, these were different. They were filled with the same hate he had seen from Osamu's gaze. But this. . .it couldn't be.

And yet, it was.

Leo took several clumsy steps backwards as he came face to face with Donatello, his supposedly missing little brother.

"No. . ." Leo said in the moment. His weapons fell to the ground, splashing in puddles of water. His hands moving up to his mouth as sobs threatened to expel. "D-Donnie?" He gapped.

The brainy turtle wore nothing of his usual wrappings or gear. In their stead was a smaller version of what Osamu wore. Donnie was covered in thick armor, his wrapping was replaced by thick cuffs at his wrists. His usually bare feet were fitted with a special fabric that engulfed his legs. His pads were made of a metal, thick blades sticking from them for anyone who dared to get close. Yet, the most shocking and heart wrenching change was the loss of the purple bandana Donnie had grown up with. In place of the beloved fabric laid nothing. Donnie's face was masked by nothing but long dried blood stains, matching the cold, heartless stare. Even his bo was blackened, having a longer naginata blade than before.

In the background, Leo could hear Osamu's laughter. Leo creeped closer, resting his hand on Donnie's shoulder. Donnie seemed aware of the gesture, but did nothing to condone it.

"Donnie. . .what did he do to you?" Leo asked, he did nothing to stop the tears that formed and raced down his face, soaking into mask.

"I told you Leonardo. The next time you would see your precious brother, he wouldn't be the same." Osamu said.

"No. . .you're wrong! This, this isn't real. This isn't my brother!" Leo yelled.

"Aniki. . ." Donnie's voice cut through the swarm of chaos that Leo felt he was trapped in. "You never came. . ."

"I know Otouto, I know but I'm here now. Please, don't let this man overpower you. Please Donnie."

"You're too late."

"Your brother is no more, Leonardo."

"You left me to die!"

"The brother you once knew is broken."

"You've forsaken me Leonardo!"

"NO!"

Leo sprang from the comforts of his bed, his heart racing, sweat dropped from his brow. The clock on his night stand informed him of the early hour.

This wasn't his first nightmare he's had since that night but it felt like the hardest one.

It was the first one where he actually saw his missing brother and heard his voice. Though, it was anything but comforting. Donnie was always known for his gentle tone. The brainy turtle hardly ever spoke with such hate, such malice. But that wasn't what terrified him the most. No, as much as it did hurt to hear Donnie's voice, it was how he looked that made Leo's core shake. The overall image of what his nightmare had created of his brother was horrific. Everything about Donnie, it was either heavily changed or completely gone. It was as if Leo was looking at a new turtle.

He rubbed his tired eyes. Despite the hour Leo knew he wasn't getting any sleep. Not that he had gotten much to begin with. The only reason as to why he agreed to getting rest was from April and Karai's constant nagging. He knew deep down that they meant well but rest was nearly impossible to get when he kept having these painful nightmares that reminded him of his failure.

Using more force than necessary, Leo opened his bedroom door and trudged to the kitchen. He couldn't hear Mikey's snores nor Raph's occasional grunts.

'They must still be on patrol.'

One week. One week and still no sign of Donatello or the new threat that had taken his brother. One excruciating long week.

The first night wasn't easy. After the ambush, Leo was brought back to the lair to be treated for the injury to his shoulder. It irritated him that a simple injury took more than two hours to treat. No one had knowledge on how to execute treatment for a deep gash, or at least wasn't skilled in the art. Donnie was the one they all turned to for medical treatment. From sewing to full on operations, Donnie was the one who carried the weight of family medic.

There were rare moments when Donnie was unable to treat himself. When they had been just small turtle tots, Donnie had come down with a bad pneumonia. It lasted for more than two weeks, nearly giving them all a heart attack as it grew worse. Leo thought that they really were going to lose him. Luckily, with Splinter's help, Donnie pulled through and made a smooth recovery.

Whenever the genius was found sick or injured, at least the brothers could turn to their father for aid. Splinter wasn't as prepared or as knowledgeable, his medical expertise usually surrounding the spirit more than physical ailments, but he knew more than the other turtles and that was good enough.

But Leo couldn't turn to his father. None of them could. . .

After research and much preparation, April had been the one to treat the injury. Her needlework was rough and wasn't in any way perfect but it did its job. Once the wound had been wrapped, Leo made no hesitation to prepare for another outing. He ignored the pain in his shoulder and alerted his team that they were heading out. Raph had said nothing but agreed. It was clear that Raph's thoughts were troubled. His usually angry outbursts changed into muttered cursing. Leo wanted to comfort his younger brother but knew that doing so would result in another injury. Besides, they couldn't waste time indulging in emotions.

Mikey's tearful eyes were enough to crush Leo's already broken heart. His youngest brother had been absolutely heartbroken about the loss of Donnie. There was no doubt that the youngest brothers shared the closest bond. They were each other's best friends. When they were all younger, Mikey would turn to Donnie whenever Leo and Raph had gotten into petty arguments. Even now, Mikey would spend hours in Donnie's lab, helping the brainy turtle out with whatever project he was working on. It killed Leo to see Mikey so distraught but in the end, Mikey had dried his tears and readied himself.

April, Karai, and Casey had also quickly agreed on the patrol. In no time at all, the group had made their venture to the surface yet again, this time on a mission.

The thought of one of their own being taken, drove the brothers harder and harder. Their search efforts continued late until the peaks of dawn appeared. Reluctantly, Leo knew he had to call it off until the next evening. As much as he wanted to continue, he couldn't risk the chances of humans finding them. It was a decision where he had to act as leader despite his big brother instincts. Unfortunately, the rest of his brothers didn't need to make such decisions, leading them to act on their brotherly emotions.

Raph was beyond angry, he had been furious with the choice Leo had made. So much so, the brother in red had gone off on his own into the city. It irritated Leo but he knew that if he was in Raph's shoes, he would've done the same. Thankfully, Mikey had been a little more willing to end the search. April and Casey had opted to continue, seeing as they were humans and didn't have to worry about wondering eyes. Karai talked about getting some of her soldiers ready and sending scouts around the city to find information. It helped a little with Leo's anxiety but without Donnie or Raph. . .Leo and Mikey felt utterly defeated by the time they returned to their home.

"That was just the first night. . ." Leo thought bitterly as he sat in his usual spot by the kitchen table.

The nights that followed fell into a rhythmic beat. Leo and Mikey would search through the night, doing whatever they could during the day. Leo tried sleeping, his body begged for relief, but the moment his eyes closed all he could see was Donnie's helpless body or Osamu's deadly glare. As for Mikey, Leo knew that even he was struggling with getting rest. Leo recalled a night after a vicious nightmare, Leo had gone to check on his brothers, mimicking the gesture as he did the same thing just in the week prior. He found Raph's bed absent and could hear quiet sobs from Mikey's. It broke his heart to see his younger brothers suffering for a second time. It was hard enough to watch them suffer through Splinter's death but with one of their own now missing, it was too much to bear.

As Leo and Mikey fell into their own similar routines, as did Raph. Unlike the other two, Raph barely spent anytime in the lair. Whenever Leo did catch a glimpse of his immediate younger brother it was only ever in the late night. During those moments where Raph was home, he barely spoke a word. Anything he would say was only the confirmation that Donnie's whereabouts were still unknown. After a few calls from April, Leo had found that Raph and Casey spent time during the day looking for Donnie around the more dangerous parts of the city, and crashing for a couple hours in April's apartment when his body reached far beyond its limit.

The night they were on now was the mark of a week. The absence of Donnie was starting to take its toll on everyone and Leo didn't know how long they would all last. Mikey had started to take more time in searching, hence the reason for his absence. Karai and April spent time figuring out which parts of the city they hadn't looked at yet. All the while Leo struggled to keep everyone unified. A job that he often had Donnie's help in.

Donnie. . .

Leo looked over to his shoulder injury, letting out a painful sigh. Donnie was always there for them. He always managed to figure out some solution, even when he didn't have a clue what he was dealing with. Nothing stopped his overworking brain from finding a solution. It was just another amazing quality that Leo knew he overlooked. Leo knew if Donnie were here he would be doing everything he could to find Osamu and his ninjas. He would've taken care of Leo's injury without a second thought as to how it would be done or the steps needed. He would've set aside his basic needs to figure out the answer. Donnie would put everything before himself in a heartbeat because that's just how he was. That's just how he's always been.

Leo's eyes filled with tears. His upright body slouched, until his head was cushioned on his two arms.

"Donnie, I-I'm so s-sorry. . .you n-needed me and I cou-. . .I couldn't save you. . ." Leo sobbed into his arms, his voice breaking, his mind thinking back once again, to a moment where he had failed once again when it came to Donnie's safety.

He stood at the foot of the door, his head gently leaning against it. He could hear the muffled exchange of voices between his two youngest brothers that were currently occupying it. Their conversation seemed lighthearted as the occasional sound of Mikey's laugh filled the closed room. It brought a slight smile to Leo's troubled expression. He wanted nothing more than to just barge in and start apologizing. The whole reason Mikey was currently in Donnie's room, heck, the reason why they both were in there was due to the fact that Donnie had just come out of a life-threatening explosion.

'That I caused.' Leo thought sorrowfully to himself.

For the past couple of days, Leo, Karai, and Shinigami (Karai's friend) had worked together to take down Shredder's corporations. It had been Karai's idea initially. Her vendetta against Shredder gave her the fire behind the decision but it ultimately blinded her. Leo wasn't a hundred percent innocent either. He had foolishly let his long lasting feelings for Karai get in the way of his role as a leader. He followed and helped her through her plans, keeping everything secret from both his father and his brothers. It's not that Leo didn't trust them, it was that he knew they wouldn't be on board with it. Raph would make comments about how Karai was leading him into disaster, Donnie would come up with all the possible outcomes that would lead to his death, and Mikey would either join Leo as an attempt to make sure Leo was being careful or try to reason with him. Deep down, Leo knew they would all be right but he just couldn't let go what his feelings were telling him. So Leo ignored his gut, he left his family in the dark about what he was doing and followed Karai's command.

At first, everything seemed fine. They took down a building where Shredder kept if not all, a huge sum of his money. They burned it all down and made sure nothing was left. They ran into a little trouble with Hun but with the three of them, the purple dragon fell. Leo had returned home and though his brothers had suspicion of Karai's antics, they had no idea that Leo was aiding her.

The next night Karai had messaged Leo about another heist. This time Karai planned to take down Shredder's chemical factory. It was significantly bigger than the last building and Leo knew it would be more dangerous. There was a higher chance of Shredder's henchmen being there along with who knew how many footbots.

Leo could feel his gut churning. Something didn't feel right at the moment. He wanted to talk Karai out of it or inform at least one of his brothers what he was doing. Yet, Leo's heart overpowered his mind. He let his senses of logic whiter away as he followed Karai and Shinigami to the chemical factory.

Leo had been right in his assumption that there would be some of Shredder's henchmen. Tigerclaw, Bebop, and Rocksteady had been at the factory. Luckily, it was an in and out operation. The group planted small explosives around the area, making a quick haste before Tigerclaw could get them. The teens had been able to escape the building. They sat on a nearby rooftop as they waited to see the explosives erupt. Within a minute a full blown explosion shook the surrounding area. Car alarms fired off and shattered glass coated the streets. Leo could hear the vicious growl of Tigerclaw and knew they all had to escape. As he and the others began to depart, Leo' eyes shifted to the lower pavement, his heart stopping.

Cradled in Raph and Mikey's arms was the unconscious form of Donatello's body.

He informed Karai and Shini about the situation before quickly leaving them. He hated that he was ditching them but his brothers took first priority, especially if one was down for the count.

He followed his two conscious brothers into the party wagon, asking them why the shell they were here. Raph's response was nothing short of unpleasant. . .

"We were looking for you when Donnie got blown up!"

'Donnie got blown up!'

Leo took a step back from his brother's bedroom door. It was because of him that Splinter had resorted to using the healing mantra on Donnie. Without Donnie's medical expertise, the healing hands were the only method that had a chance at helping Donnie. Luckily they worked and Donnie seemed he was going to pull through.

After all the night's events, Donnie had retired to his bedroom where Splinter had ordered him to get plenty of rest. Mikey and Raph had followed Donnie to his room ready to remind Donnie that working on projects was not a means of resting.

That had been nearly an hour ago. Raph had departed to his room, hence why Leo wanted to use this time to talk to his brother. Without Raph, Leo felt a little safer going about his apology. Whenever any one of them was injured Raph took it upon himself to act as the overall protector, watching over the injured brother until he deemed they were okay. Tonight was no exception. Raph had definitely been giving Leo the cold shoulder, making sure that Leo kept his distance.

Taking a deep breath, and knowing his time with Donnie would be limited, Leo gently knocked on the door.

The voices in the room went dead silent and for a moment too long everything was awkward.

"Who is it?" He heard Mikey ask.

"Who do you think it is Mikey?" Leo asked, trying to keep the annoyance out of his tone. He was here to seek forgiveness after all, not make another brother upset.

"Heh heh, sup Leo." Mikey laughed as he peeked the door open, not letting Leo glimpse at Donnie.

"Can I speak to Donnie please?" Leo asked.

"Hmm. . ."

"Mikey just let him in." Leo heard Donnie's hoarse voice in the background.

"You got it D!" Mikey said, turning his head back inside the room. "If he gives you any trouble Don, don't be afraid to yell. Your dude's right across the hall." Mikey said firmly, with a hint of mischief. Leo wanted to roll his eyes but strayed. He didn't need another brother upset at him.

There was a 'I know Mikey' before Mikey exited the room.

"You don't plan on ditching us again, right?" Mikey asked before he went to his own room.

"Don't worry Mikey, I'm not going anywhere." Leo responded. With a nod, Mikey entered his room, leaving Leo standing at Donnie's door, alone. After a few moments of prolonged silence, he gently gripped the door handle.

"Are you going to stand there forever or do you need an invitation, Leo?" Donnie asked smugly. Leo chuckled to himself but quickly halted as he caught sight of his brother for the first time since Donnie was conscious. The room was dim, the only lighting coming from the small desktop lamp at Donnie's bedside table. Still, even with the small lighting Leo could see the bruises that were beginning to form on his brother's body.

He saw bandages wrapped around Donnie's forearms and plenty of band aids that seemed to be all over the place. Leo assumed those must've been Mikey's touch as Donnie was never one to over use something as simple as a band aid. The last thing Leo noticed was that Donnie wasn't wearing his usual purple bandana. The small fabric was neatly folded beside the lamp instead. It gave Leo the chance to see Donnie's full face. His brother's eyes looked droopy as dark bags accompanied them. Leo tried to analyze Donnie's body further but the mass of blankets made it impossible to see anything else.

"H-Hey Donnie. . ." Leo said, his voice already breaking.

"Hey Leo, what's up? Are you okay?" Donnie asked. He looked over his brother and could see that there was something deeply troubling his oldest sibling. Having years of practice, Donnie became an expert on knowing when one of his siblings was troubled or needed advice. Leo would carry a gloom expression along with a lazy stride. Raph would keep to himself, barely saying a word to anyone, and Mikey would also keep to himself and be void of his usual excitement and energy. As for Donnie himself, he would just stick to his lab and avoid everyone until the problem was either solved or became a distant memory.

"I'm fine Donnie, are you okay?" Leo asked, putting more emphasis on the 'you'. He hated how Donnie asked him first how he was feeling. He wasn't the one that was in the building, nor was he the one that saved his other two brothers from potentially fatal injuries. No, that was all Donnie.

"Eh, it's nothing new really. My injuries aren't as bad as they look and shouldn't take more than a couple days to heal. I mean, I really could be up and ready for action by tomorrow but seeing how Raph and Master Splinter have restricted me to bed rest, which apparently includes no midnight projects, it'll be a little longer than necessary. I don't completely mind though. I get they're just looking out for me but it's not like I have any fatal injuries but I do suppose-"

"That's not what I mean Donatello." Leo said, interrupted what was sure to be a long ramble that Donnie was known for doing. He didn't mean to come out so sternly but he felt this was serious. He needed Donnie's full attention and honesty. Luckily, that's what Donnie was known for. His little brother looked up at him with confusion but overall attentive ears so to speak.

"Just tell me how you feel. . .emotionally."

"Leo, if this is about you feeling guilty, I'm not mad."

"But you should be!" Leo shouted, quickly ducking his head from the high volume.

"Leo, I'm not mad, I'm really not. Sure, I'm a little disappointed that you tagged along with Karai without trusting any of us, again, but I know you. If there was a chance that we would have gotten hurt you wouldn't have teamed up with her in the first place." Donnie replied softly.

"I just wish. . .I just wish that I would've thought about it. I should've known that you guys would-"

"Leo," Donnie interrupted, "instead of thinking of the endless what-ifs or what could've been done. Instead, focus your energy on what will happen next time. Let tonight be a lesson for the future, okay?"

With a deep sigh, Leo met Donnie's gaze. Once again Donnie was helping him when he should be the one helping Donnie. It was just another quality of Donnie that made Leo's heart break once again for what he had done.

"Never again' He had thought. Never again would Leo let Donnie get hurt from one of his mistakes.

Leo walked back to the corridors, stopping at Donnie's door. That night hadn't been too long ago yet it felt like it had been years since. Just like the night where he and Raph had carried Donnie to his bed after finding the genius sleeping in his lab. That night he had made the promise that he was going to do whatever it took to help Donnie through his clear depression.

"It seems I can't keep any promises to you Donnie. . ." Leo whispered as he leaned his head against Donnie's bedroom door.

'His loyalties will lie with me.'

'You left me to die!'

'He won't be the same.'

'You've forsaken me!'

Over and over Leo could hear the voices of his nightmare and what Osamu had actually spoken to him. It was all just too much. He'd yet to say the vial words to his brothers. He knew it was wrong but he didn't want them knowing what could turn out to be true. It was too dark. . .

Donnie was who knew where. He had no family to comfort him. There was no Splinter to meditate to, no brothers to support him, or no friends to talk to. His brainy brother was alone with his thoughts, a dangerous situation given the state of Donnie's emotional wellbeing.

For the umpteenth time that night, Leo felt tears stream down his face, landing near his feet on the floor. . .

Chapter Text

"NO! STOP IT, PLEASE! MAKE IT ST-GAHHH!"

Donatello struggled against the metal restraints as another painful memory surged through his mind that he was once again forced to watch. This one, however, was accompanied with a painful electric shock that seized his body. This wasn't the first time he felt the painful current course through his body. The ongoing shocks had begun not too long ago, activating when a specifically painful memory was played through his mind.

As painful as it was physically, it didn't compare to the emotional pain he was struggling to control.

Five years ago. . .

Donnie stuck his tongue out as he focused hard on the circuit board he was currently repairing. Mikey had accidentally knocked over the VCR earlier that day and had shown up to Donnie's lab barely keeping his emotions contained. His tearful, puppy dog eyes were enough for Donnie to put down the project he had been previously working on. Donnie believed that there wasn't a force strong enough to refuse his baby brother's begging eyes.

From the way that the VCR looked Donnie assumed it would be a quick repair, nothing too complicated. Alas he was mistaken. Apparently the fall had been hard enough that it knocked some circuits out of place. He had no choice but to dismantle the beloved VCR, adding another project to his already growing list.

As much as he loved building, repairing, and inventing, especially when it came to his family, it was often a little stressful. His brothers would come in and out of his lab either asking for something he could create or something he could fix up for them. Donnie loved his brothers but he wished that for once instead of giving him things to do they would ask him to spend time with them or to just hang out. He never admitted it to them for fear of asking too much or seem ungrateful but it didn't stop the longingness he felt when he saw his brothers engaged in whatever new game they came up with for the day.

Donnie wiped the sweat off his brow, pushing the feelings aside. Even though he wished he could spend more time with them it's not like his brothers were ignoring them all together. Mikey often made appearances in his lab, even if he made a mess here and there. Donnie was secretly thankful for the company and the interest that his baby brother would take in whatever project he was doing. As for his oldest brother, Leo only stopped by the lab to either seek a break from the other brothers or to gush over everything space heroes related. Donnie didn't mind sci-fi but he hated that infernal cartoon. Everything about it was logically incorrect and it was overly corny. Yet, he bit his tongue when Leo went into a spiral about the show and it's main protagonist. But with Raphael. . .well he was completely different.

Honestly, Donnie didn't think much about how Raph pretty much avoided him and his lab altogether. Donnie and his immediate older brother were complete opposites in every way. Donnie was logical and quiet. Raph was temperamental and forceful. They had barely anything in common and their conversations were usually awkward or filled with Raph's taunts. There was a part of Donnie that wished him and his brother could have a better relationship but besides Raph's occasional requests for his items to be fixed, that was really it.

With a final click, Donnie placed the circuit board back to where it belonged and started to reassemble the VCR, a small smile etched onto his face as everything fit into place perfectly.

"DONNIEEEEEE!" Mikey cried as he burst through the lab's metal doors. Mikey caught sight of his older brother and immediately barreled into him.

"Mikey, what's ugh-wrong?" Donnie asked as he removed Mikey's death grip.

"I ACCIDENTALLY SNUCK INTO RAPH'S ROOM OKAY MAYBE NOT ACCIDENTALLY AND I THOUGHT I WAS BEING REALLY QUIET BUT RAPH HEARD ME AND NOW HE'S GOING TO HURT ME YOU NEED TO SAVE MEEEE!" Mikey yelled, almost too fast for Donnie to fully understand. Donnie was about to offer comfort to his little brother, a little happy that he had come to seek protection from him and not Leo but the feeling quickly departed as Donnie looked up at the doors to see Raph there.

Raphael was fuming and made the genius want to go run to his big brother to hide from the brute known as Raphael,

"MIKEY." Raph seethed. His form hunched over as his breathing grew heavier and heavier.

"Heh heh, hi Raphie. . ." Mikey whimpered, using Donnie as a shield.

"Now Raph, let's be reasonable here." Donnie said, putting his hands up in defense. "Mikey didn't mean any harm. So why don't you just take a deep breath and we can put all of this behind us, c-cool?" Donnie gulped as he nervously peered at his angry brother.

"Zip it, Dork-a-tello." Raph threatened, keeping his gaze locked on Mikey.

"C'mon Raphie. . .I promise I won't do it again." Mikey said, mustering up his most innocent smile.

"I told you if you ever went in there again I'd pound your head in." Raph seethed, cracking his knuckles disgustingly loud.

Donnie felt Mikey's hands grasp his shell tighter. As much as Donnie hated getting into a confrontation with his brothers, especially if it was Raph, he wanted to show Mikey that he could protect him just as good as Leo. Donatello may be a dork but he wasn't going to stand down.

"Just leave him alone Raphie." Donnie said, standing protectively in front of his brother.

"Oh yeah, and what're you going to do about it?" Raph almost laughed.

"Well, I-uh-I. . ." Donnie stuttered.

"That's what I thought, nerd." Raph grunted, inching closer and closer to Donnie and Mikey.

"I-I mean it R-Raph!" Donnie's voice broke, his goal to sound threatening failing with every attempt to push away his older brother.

"Then prove it."

"W-what?" Donnie gaped.

"Take me down, and I'll forget about what Mikey did, geek." Raph smirked, crossing his arms.

Donnie fixated his eyes on his brother, though, Donnie was beginning to grow taller, it didn't help at all that Raph was practically built with muscles. Donnie overlooked his own. His thin form would be no match, especially without the use of his weapon, not that his bo would actually increase his odds. He could feel his body shake, he wanted so badly to call it quits. . .

"Donnie, you don't have to do this for me, it's okay." He heard Mikey whisper. Donnie turned to his little brother and for a moment he could feel his fear slipped away. He didn't want to abandon Mikey and leave him to face Raph. No, Donnie wanted to prove to his little brother that he could protect him.

Donnie gave Mikey's head a reassuring pat before turning his attention back to Raph. He shook in his stance but tried to keep up a tough exterior.

"This'll be fun."

The fight that followed was short lived. Donnie had gone down in less than ten seconds. He was bruised and beaten by the end and out of breath. He always hated sparring sessions with Raph but he always liked to think that when it mattered he could stand a somewhat chance against his brother. Raph had snickered over at Donnie as the younger brother rose from the ground.

"Still think you can take me on?" Raph gloated.

"L-lucky shot." Donnie stuttered, wiping blood from his lip, and holding his bruised arm close.

"Pfft. You wish. You were as pathetic as your puny little stick you call a weapon!" Raph retaliated. His anger grew with each passing second.

"Pathetic. . ."

"Ya know maybe if you actually practiced training instead of being a useless dork you could beat me."

"I'm n-not a dork!" Donnie croaked, tears began forming in eyes against his will. He turned his head away from his brother at an attempt to hide them away. An attempt that failed.

"Aw are ya gonna cry? Little sensitive Donatello can't take a little teasing. And here I thought Mikey was the crybaby." Raph scoffed.

"You're even weaker than Mikey."

"Weak. . ."

"Why don't you do something useful for once."

"Useless."

"Nothing but a failure."

"Make it stop. . .please make it stop. . ." Donnie cried softly, his head against his chest as the hurtful memory played through his mind once again. He could do nothing but see and hear the painful exchange of words from his immediate older brother. His voice rang clear through Donnie's ears. The words cutting like a blade with each passing.

It didn't help that there was another voice adding to the ridicule he was already forced to watch. It slithered in his mind, cold and emotionless. He could never find the time to analyze the voice but it had become stronger and stronger with each viewing memory. Whether it was the same memory or a different one, it was always there to reinforce his brothers' words.

Three weeks. For the past three weeks Donnie was involuntarily admitted into a routine that he quickly memorized but despised with every fiber of his being. The first twelve hours of the day were spent watching and rewatching memories of his past. They ranged from his childhood years to days not long before his capture. There were memories he barely remembered but had been stored deep into his psyche. These memories would be played back to back, over and over again in the span of half a day, sometimes even longer from Donnie's past predictions. In the beginning, Donnie thought he would get used to the torment. It was definitely an unusual form of torture but he had ideas on how he could ignore the rancid thoughts and keep his emotional self from slipping.

The saying 'it's easier said than done' really stuck. He accepted the torture with full confidence that he could take it but he really didn't expect it to be so painfully harsh. Not to mention, during all these memories his head always hurt like shell. It wasn't an extremely bad headache as he had when he first arrived but the pain always resided with him. It made trying to keep his emotions in check a lot more. . .difficult

The first memories he witnessed were from his first year on the surface. They ranged from metalhead, to his beatdown by Rockwell, to Raph calling him sadorable. The moments were plenty painful and heart crushing when he experienced them firsthand as he witnessed them again they felt even more excruciating. Not only were his emotions hit with full force but he could feel the torment physically. He didn't know if the physical pain was his imagination or from an outside force. Wherever it came from it was certainly doing a good job at keeping his mind distracted so to speak.

With each passing day, the words, the pain, it was all seeping through Donnie's tightly knit barrier. As for what the other half of his day was like. . .it was no better than the first.

After the loop of memories the helmet would shut off, leaving Donnie encased in a void of darkness. No light oozed through the helmet. For the first few days, having no sign of visitors, Donnie feared for his health. He knew the average person couldn't sit for long periods of time and could only go so long without both food and water. He believed there was an IV tube embedded in one of his veins but that didn't mean it could keep his body hydrated forever. He worried about the blood circulation from the tight restraints. If they kept him as he was for even a week Donnie knew it could result in near permanent damage.

Fortunately, his captors were a little thoughtful. After every few days someone would come in and blindly feed him bread and bits of meat. He wasn't convinced that what he was being fed was completely clean but his stomach demanded nutrition. It was humiliating to be fed as well as having to drink from bottles of water. However, Donnie found that the person doing this was always gentle. They never spoke but they didn't treat him roughly. Sometimes, they would release his limbs, of course that was after he was sedated with a drug so he could never really move but still. They would treat the burns that gathered on his wrist and would even remove the helmet for a short period of time. Whoever the person was, they were the small kindness that Donnie deeply appreciated in his grim world.

Besides the small treatment he would receive, the rest of his time that was spent in darkness did nothing to ease his mind. The haunting silence awakened his thoughts. It allowed the inside voices in his mind to become more outspoken. The unkind and harsh words that were repeated in his head would repeat just as easily without the viewing of said words. His mind would play against him, making him second guess the truth behind such words.

Him and his brothers often teased each other with rude remarks, especially during a serious situation where everyone was stressing out. It was nothing unusual. They were brothers after all. Poking fun at one another was all a traditional thing that siblings were known to do.

Up till now, any rude remark Donnie heard, he pushed them away with his emotions. Yet, now that he was constantly hearing them, over and over again, he wondered just how much his brothers meant the cruel words.

Without his brothers' reassurance, along with the cold feeling that emanated around him, Donnie couldn't help but feel so alone in his confinement. He tried meditation but he could never simmer down his mind enough to practice the art. He tried filling his head with complex equations, thinking that finding solutions would grant him more peace. He would often think of scenarios where his brothers would come bursting through the doors, engulfing him in open, warm arms, ready to save him. Though, the hours ticked by and the days ended. Leaving the feeling of aloneness sting all the more.

The only person that Donnie knew in the unfamiliar surroundings was Osamu.

Donnie's feelings for the man were always changing. At first, Donnie made it clear that he despised the man. Osamu had attacked him and his brother and forced their family apart. How could he ever trust, let alone stand someone who would do that?

Then again. . .

The other side of Donnie could understand to some agree what the guy was trying to tell him. Donnie didn't know how exactly Osamu was forcing him to relive the terrors of his past but a small portion of him could see the result that Osamu was aiming for.

He hated to admit it. He wanted nothing more than to scoff at the torture.

But that little voice in his head forbade it.

It soaked up the words every time they rang.

Moments that he hadn't even seen from the device appeared in his nightmares.

Nightmares that were always there, haunting him. Never allowing him to ever fully rest.

It was like his mind was slowly turning into a fog.

And Donnie saw no way out. . .

"Is the turtle ready for the next memory?" Osamu asked the scientist, looking over at the monitor that showed Donatello's vitals and brain waves.

"But Osamu, he hasn't had his twelve hour rest yet. He's barely had half of that." Katsumi interrupted from the sidelines, seating behind the two men. Every day Katsumi would ask kindly if the turtle would be removed but since Donatello was making little progress in Osamu's plan, the answer was clear.

She didn't know how to feel about seeing the terrapin suffer. She was never present for the full moments where the turtle would be forced to watch his cruel memories like a sick movie but when she did catch glimpses, they were always so painful to watch. She couldn't imagine how hard it would be to endure such pain.

"He's not where he should be. He still is showing emotional signs that he trusts his older siblings. By the reactions we've been getting from his memories with Raphael, it's safe to assume that the bond is weakening, yet he still clings to Leonardo."

"Are you sure that's the right thing to do?" Katsumi asked, uncertain.

Osamu groaned, turning towards his friend. "Katsumi, I told you when we started that I need your trust on this. I uniformed you that my methods aren't going to be clean but they're necessary." Osamu stated, turning back towards the scientist.

Osamu himself knew that what he was putting Donatello through was rough. Really rough. When he had brought the turtle in a friend of his had given him a special drug that was illegal in many areas. The drug had the power to weaken a person's mind to a dangerous extent. It could make the user completely vulnerable and lack any means of complex thinking. It was perfect. He started Donatello off with an almost fatal dosage. He wanted Donatello to be completely vulnerable during the first days of the torture. Over the course of the week he started to gradually wear off. He didn't want the mutant to suffer any permanent damage nor did he want him to become suspicious.

He knew that in order for Donatello to feel the full extent of the abuse from his family, a physical variable was needed. During moments where Donnie was engaged in a fight or sparring match with his brothers, Osamu would bring in a ninja that would repeat the same blows that Donnie faced from the memory. The would be simple kicks and punches, not lasting forever. Opposing the drug, the beating would worsen from time to time. After a while, Osamu could see from Donatello's exterior that the physical wounds were taking their toll.

With memories that didn't involve physical fights, during the ones where there were arguments and harsh words spoken, a shock would be transmitted from the device attached to the chair to Donatello's body. Every time his brother spoke a harsh word, Donatello received a shock. Likewise with the physical abuse, the shocks gradually increased, making each word more cruel and ruthless than the last.

Secondly, besides the necessary contact, he wanted Donatello to face a silent and dark environment after said torture. He would be completely alone with his silent thoughts. With the turtle's combination of complex thinking and sensitive heart, the dark abyss he created would serve its purpose.

Donatello would have no choice but to hear his thoughts as they circled endlessly through his mind. Turning reality into a nightmare and nightmare into reality.

These last couple of days Osamu focused a majority of the memories on Raphael. He found many instances where the turtle in red carelessly threw insults at the genius turtle, seemingly ignoring the possibility of his words hurting. Throughout the years the insults grew, storing away in the confinements of Donatello's walls. Yet, the walls weren't strong enough to keep Osamu out.

As he saw the bond weaken and weaken, he knew he needed to move on to Leonardo quickly. If Donatello's bond with Raphael was shattered, the turtle would no doubt hide behind Leonardo's shell so to speak. He would rely heavily on his oldest brother, making it harder for Osamu to get through the close bond. That's why a different approach was needed. The ninja saw that if he was able to shatter both relationships at the same time, Donatello would have nowhere to hide. His trust in his big brothers to protect him would be no more, leaving an even more vulnerable turtle in its stead.

As for Michelangelo. . .

Osamu couldn't underestimate the strong relationship that clearly resided in the youngest sibling. With Michelangelo being Donatello's only little brother, along with Donatello's best friend, that relationship would be harder to deal with. He knew he had to be smart about it. He couldn't just start showing harsh memories as he was doing with the older brothers. Besides, there weren't as many memories as he hoped. He wasn't sure exactly what he needed to do, it was more of a 'cross that bridge when we get there' idea. Osamu would find something though. He knew he would.

But with Donatello's human friends, finding painful scenarios was simple and easy. The love of the turtle's life had actually murdered, or in scientific terms, molecularly scattered the mutant across the vast city of New York. Casey Jones was the turtle's rival for the affections of said girl. For Karai, there were multiple situations where the girl nearly killed both him and his family. The allies would be an easy breakup.

All that was left was Donatello's sensei. For that, Osamu wouldn't have any memories. He wouldn't force the turtle to do anything against his father. It was simply all a part of his plan. . .

"Your friend is correct, Donatello should have a longer break but he's in a stable enough condition where you can play another memory." The scientist interrupted.

"Wonderful." Osamu said.

After careful consideration, Osamu found the perfect moment. One that would surely bring about Donatello's insecurities.

"Donnie you know how much this means to Sensei." Leonardo persisted with the already agitated turtle. Donatello was suffering from one too many all-nighters and was desperately trying to relieve his body from the high amount of stress he was dealing with.

"Leo, I'm trying as hard as I can." Donnie pleaded. His exhausted tone matching his slouching form. For the past week Donnie tried after each failure to produce a serum for Karai that would release the teen from the brainworm Shredder had implanted. Like his efforts with the special retromutagen he had tried to create, nothing was adding up. Every new experiment made him as unsure as the last. He thought for once that he finally had it. Mikey had gathered his family to his lab just for them all to witness another failure and Donnie's pathetic blow out. Splinter's seemingly comforting words did nothing but evoke strong feelings of guilt.

'I know how hard you have tried, Donatello. Some things are just not meant to be. . .'

Donnie hoped that maybe with a little rest, perhaps some nutrition he could look back at his notes for a possible mistake that he may have made. Though, that's not how Leo saw things.

"Well, try harder!"

A shock hit Donatello as the force of Leonardo's voice was increased. The turtle seethed in agony, screaming out from both the mental and physical pain.

Osamu grabbed the microphone that was linked to Donatello's headset. Another bond, another crack.

For after almost a month of what seemed like a dead end Osamu could feel the tide turning ever so slightly, in his favor. . .

Chapter Text

His breath came out in the form of soft mist, dispersing just as soon as another huff forms. His breathing continues to come out short and labored as he leapt from building to building. The icy air stabs his lungs as he lands roughly. His shoulders tense and his body jerks to a stop. He observed the rooftop he had landed on. To the naked eye, it was a normal, average rooftop. There was nothing that stood out. It had no features that made it more appealing to the surrounding buildings. To anyone else, they would've kept going and ignored the blackened and rusty floor. Anyone with the exception of Raphael.

The second oldest brother fell to his knees, tears forming in his tightly closed eyes. It had been a month ago when he and Mikey had arrived on the rooftop to only find an unconscious Leo and a bo. Leo had been injured and drugged while Donnie was kidnapped by some new enemy. All that was left of his missing brother was the bo staff he carried.

The blood that had stained the roof was long gone. Washed away by the rain that was threatening to fall down once again from the clouds that covered the twilight skies of New York. Raph didn't care. It wouldn't be his first night caught in a storm, much like how it wasn't his first night arriving at the devastating building.

As the days grew into weeks with no sign of Donatello, Raph found himself returning to the building whenever the grief of losing his brother grew too much to bear. At first, the sight had ignited determination. It made his muscles intensify, giving him a burst of adrenaline that he would then use to continue his lone search efforts. Now, after a painful month with no results. No clue as to where Donnie was located, Raph could feel grief and guilt wrap tight around his heart.

Grief from the possibility that Donnie had been dead all along and was never going to return to their family. Grief from Splinter's death returning full force. Without their father to support them, it made them feel all the more alone and scared. The responsibility of finding their brother rested solely on their shoulders. Leo would try to reach Donnie on the astral plane but it always led to failure. Mikey continually prayed that we would find a sign. He tried his best to keep our spirits high yet the hopelessness of the situation was starting to take its toll. Raph had spent most of his time topside. He knew it irritated Leo for him to be topside during daylight hours but what was Raph supposed to do?

He wasn't spiritually gifted like Leo. He didn't have Mikey's positive nature. Even Karai was exerting her sources to find information. April and Casey had been spending their time helping Karai, occasionally helping with the searches that were becoming futile. Still, spending his days searching, combing through each building was all Raph could do.

If Donnie was there, Raph had no doubt he would've made ten times more progress than any of them were making. He would've used some advanced technology that could've given them some idea where the threat was.

'But he's not here, and who's fault is that?"

Raph didn't stop the tears that ran like a river down his cheeks, landing on his shins, drop after drop. They glistened in the silver light from the moon. If anyone else had been there Raph would've done everything in his power to hide his emotions, but that wasn't the case. He was all alone. Left to sulk alone.

Donnie had called Raph. He had called him. Not Mikey, not April, him. During the ambush Donnie had phoned Raph, pleading for the hothead brother to come to his and Leo's aid. Donnie's voice was filled with fear. Raph could hear his brother's voice shake as he struggled to get the message out. Raph remembered Karai's worried expression as Donnie's voice cut through the space between them. Raph could feel his eyes bulging out from the words his brainy brother had spoken. His heart stopped when the line went dead. The last word his brother spoke had rang in his head much like it continually ringed now.

"Raphie. . ."

Raph had failed. His brothers had needed him and he failed. He was supposed to be the family protector. He was the one who made sure his brothers got home safely. Even if it meant taking a bullet to the gut, he would. No matter how many times he argued with Leo, how many times Donnie blew up the lair, or how annoying Mikey got, Raph would rather let himself face any wound or punishments than his siblings.

During battle, Raph was the one that would watch his brothers' backs. Over the years, he noticed how he would watch Donnie's more so than Mikey's or Leo's. It wasn't from the fact that Donnie was weak, well, he wasn't as strong as the rest of them but when he was peeved enough, Raph was almost impressed by his brother's strength. Raph watched Donnie's back for the reason that Donnie was the brains. It wasn't unusual for The geek to stop midway during a fight scene to take care of any technical issues. Whether it was disarming a bomb to shutting down security measures, Donnie was the master at it. Though it did have it's disadvantages. While Don dealt with the complicated tech, his shell was left defenseless. Whenever Raph noticed him in the middle of something, he took it upon himself to protect his brother's back. It was challenging but Raph didn't care. If his brother could get the job done with no injuries, that was enough to satisfy the hothead.

Raph never truly realized how often he really started to subconsciously watch Donnie's back. He would always fight his enemies in a way where his immediate younger brother was in his eyesight.

The only moments where Raph couldn't protect his brother was during times where Raph was the one inflicting pain. . .

All he wanted to do was sleep in his bed till next Saturday. He wasn't looking forward to the morning's training session that was sure going to hurt like shell. His sore body demanded rest but his mind couldn't turn off. His thoughts swirled through his head, preventing comfort and a peaceful slumber take over.

He looked over his small clock on his nightstand. It illuminated his tired eyes, informing him that it was nearly three in the morning. He grunted into his pillow. He should be able to rest easy after the exhausting day that today was. His eyes drifted over to a small, worn rag. There were two bowls beside said rag. One held little water while the other was filled with lettuce that had begun to rot. It was right where he placed his beloved pet turtle.

His turtle that had been mutated into a monster.

Spike, or at least Slash, had been mutated by Donnie's last canister of mutagen. Raph was sick and tired of Donnie's constant explosions. He let his temper get the better of him and left Spike alone with the mutagen.

When Spike mutated, he gave Raph the offer that he had always wanted. Spike, or Slash, had made Raph believe that they could become a team and work together, no fooling around. The idea filled Raph with excitement, but that excitement quickly turned into dread.

He didn't know that when Slash had issued their partnership that it meant the others would suffer. . .

Ironically, it was Donnie that Slash had gone after at first. With Raph's earlier angry burst at the second youngest, it made perfect sense why Donnie was taken down first. Raph remembered the sick feeling he got when he and Mikey found him, bruised and broken.

Not too long after Donnie was found Mikey had disappeared. The next time that Raph had seen his baby brother was when Mikey was tied up and hanging off a billboard. Much like Donnie, Mikey was injured, badly injured.

Another minute passed over Raph's face. He almost lost his two little brothers today. Heck, even Leo had gotten a good amount of bruises. Slash had disappeared in the end and they all made it home. Still, because of his anger, his brothers had gotten hurt.

Raph lifted himself from the mattress, sitting upright with his feet on the floor. Obviously he was going to get any sleep, not that he would get much if he did happen to. He groaned as he left the comforts of his bed and left the confinements of his room.

The lair was quiet. Everyone had departed to their rooms for the night, hopefully getting better sleep than what Raph was managing. As he looked around the dark atmosphere, Raph noticed the new scuff marks that had been made from the explosion earlier that day.

He knew Donnie was trying his best with his attempts at a retromutagen but it didn't make explosions any less annoying.

Speaking of the nerdy brother, Raph's eyes glanced over at Donnie's lab, only to notice the light that came from within. Raph rolled his eyes, and chuckled at the same time. Classic Donnie, pulling another all night, even after a dangerous night and a sprained arm. If Donnie was fixated on something, he was known for spending hours upon hours working on whatever problem he was trying to solve. Seeing nothing else to do, Raph walked to the stairs leading to the lab.

Raph pulled the doors open, wincing at the screeching sound. He didn't need or want to wake up Splinter or Leo, that would just be the cherry on top of an already messed up day. At least Raph wouldn't be the only one earning a lecture.

The screech had certainly surprised Donatello. The purple masked brother had nearly fallen out of his chair from the unexpected sound. Clutching his chest, Donnie turned to face the intruder, ready to lash out at whoever startled him, only to shudder in response. He turned his back towards Raph, hoping that if he ignored Raph long enough his older brother would get bored and go away. Sadly, simple methods really worked against the force that was known as Raph.

"It's past your bedtime brainiac." Raph commented, leaning on Donnie's desk, crossing his arms and his gaze at Donnie's head.

"Same to you Raph, what're you doing up?" Donnie asked, trying to keep the conversation pointed at his immediate older brother.

"Couldn't sleep, you?" Raph responded, trying not to sound too concerned. He looked over Donnie and almost shuddered. Donnie's skin was a few shades lighter. His body was still blanketed with bruises and bandages. His arm was held with a brace while his other arm clicked away on the mouse. He noticed how Donnie's eyes drooped from clear exhaustion but there was something else that underlined the deep bags that were badly hidden behind the purple fabric. The same purple fabric that Slash had taken as a trophy he wore around his bicep. Raph had been lucky enough to grab both Donnie's and Mikey's mask before Slash could make off with them.

"You know me, insomnia is both my friend and enemy." Donnie answered, keeping his gaze locked on his computer screen. A few minutes of awkward silence passed between two siblings. The sound of Donnie's fingers, as they typed away, was the only sound of noise that transpired. It was killing Raph. It wasn't that he didn't have anything to say, it was more that he didn't know how to say it.

"Look Donnie. . .I-" He trailed off, his eyes darting to the floor.

"Raph, if you're here to apologize there's no need. You have nothing to apologize for." Donnie stated. His fast pace typing drawing slower and slower.

"Would you just let me finish?" Raph groaned. "What I said to you, before Spike mutated, I didn't mean it. I was just angry and upset like always. Mikey got into my stuff and Leo was there to defend him like always. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that. . . well ya know. . ."

"Once again Raph, there's no sense in you apologizing. It was due to my incompetence that I almost blew up Spike in another failure of a cure that I'm too stupid to make." Donnie said, his head dropped forward.

Raph wanted to punch himself in the gut. He should've known Donnie would've taken everything more to heart than he showed. If Raph's sadorable comment from the previous year wasn't enough evidence, he didn't know what was. What was worse is that Donnie had the tendency to connect words to instances where he felt like, well basically an idiot. It was a tendency that Raph suspected Donnie had developed from their oldest brother. It was becoming increasingly irritating how alike Donnie and Leo were starting to become in Raph's opinion. He was considering 'informing' Leo just how bad of an influence he was becoming-

Raph shook his head. Now was not the time to criticize Leo for his many, many mistakes. For once he needed to console his brainy brother, no matter how awkward it would probably be for the both of them. He returned his focus to Donnie, once again shaking his head. Though Donnie wasn't looking directly at Raph, he could easily see his brother's puppy dog eyes. Somehow his younger brothers had perfected the art of the saddest and most heart wrenching puppy dog eyes. It was a look that Raph and Leo had been at then end of for years and it never failed to make them both fall for the look.. The difference between Mikey and Donnie's was Mikey's was seen far more often and usually came with a price that either Leo or Raph had to pay or to make the baby seem more innocent. With Donnie, the look was seen rarely and would only appear when Donnie really felt as depressing as his eyes revealed.

"Donnie, that's not true." Raph said before he could think. He winced from the cheesiness but even more so than that it wasn't even a response. Trying to convince Donnie that something wasn't true was never an easy feat.

"Funny how you say that when it was me who nearly killed Spike. It was me that made you angry and took the mutagen. Heck I wouldn't have even been working on that experiment if I hadn't been the one to mutate April's father along with every other citizen in New York City!" Donnie yelled, slamming his fist onto the desk. His eyes scrunched up in irritation that quickly turned downcast again. His breathing softened but Raph could see him wince from pain.

Raph could feel the urge to punch something become stronger and stronger. Of course Donnie was spending his late hours in his lab continually blaming himself for the mutagen spill. Before today Raph couldn't count how many endless experiments Donnie had been creating, cooped up in his lab, barely coming out. It was bad enough that April's dad had been the one that was mutated but it was even harder to see April yell at them when she found out that it was technically their fault for what happened. Though April had scolded at all of them, her hateful words were directed at Donnie more so than the rest of them. Raph had clearly seen her seething eyes glaring at Donnie's innocent soul. April had knew exactly what she was doing and frankly, Raph didn't know if he could ever forgive her. As much as he valued April's friendship, his brothers came first.

"Donnie, it wasn't just you that was responsible for the mutagen spill. We all played a part in that."

"But-"

"Geez Donnie would you let me finish, again? It's bad enough I'm doing this twice when we both know I suck at these things." Raph said, interrupting his little brother before he could make any comments.

"Look Donnie what April said. . .I know you're still hurting but you can't dwell on her words. She just needs time to cool down, she'll come around, okay? Anyway, she's not the point. Donnie you're the least incompetent person I know. Shell, you're smarter than any of us put together. I mean look at what you're doing! A retromutagen? Don we don't even know if it's possible and yet here you are. Working your shell off to find it because that;s how you are. Your friggin big heart working relentlessly.

"Today, like I said, I was irritated and I took it out on you when I shouldn't have. I vented to Sp-Slash and in doing so he went after you first." Taking a deep breath and making sure that no one was listening in, Raph continued. "Basically I'm saying that I'm sorry Donnie. Really sorry. It was because of me you and the others got hurt but I know my words weren't much different. . .so can we skip the fact that this is painfully awkward and go back to how we were, ya know, before all of this?"

It took a few minutes but much to Raph's surprise, Donnie looked up at him with a small, gentle smile.

"Yeah, we can do that." He responded, nodding his head.

"Good." Raph said, hinting at a threatening tone. He looked back towards the doors and shrugged. They only had two hours left till training anyway. There was no real sense for getting any sleep now. Besides, Leo was most likely to cancel the night's patrol due to their lingering injuries and Donnie's sprain. Seeing nothing else to do, Raph walked over to where his shell cycle was, grabbing Donnie's nearby tool set.

"Um Raph? Not to be rude but what're you doing?" Donnie inquired, raising his brow.

"Might as well work on her now. Someone's gotta keep an eye on the insomniac." Raph said with a teasing smirk.

Donnie rolled his eyes with a smile. As much as he treasured his alone time something about Raph's presence was comforting.

"Oh and I wouldn't bet on me keeping this whole all nighter act from fearless." Raph smirked again, letting out a menacing laugh.

"You wouldn't dare." Donnie gasped, appalled.

"Try me."

That night had been one of Raph's most memorable with Donnie. They had spent the next two hours working on their own projects. Donnie calculated more of the mutagen's makeup while Raph had worked away on his mechanics. He knew he wasn't as skilled as Donnie but he knew how to hold his own. They traded small jokes and shared some embarrassing info that they both had gathered from their other brothers. By the time training started, Raph felt that Donnie truly soaked up his apology and wasn't hiding behind the emotionless facade he had used often. Leo had caught them exiting the lab and didn't spare them from the lecture of getting adequate rest each night especially when training was in the morning. Like always, Raph shrugged it off and even Donnie made several sarcastic comments.

Raph's eyes trailed to the barely visible stars. Twilight had long transitioned into a deep dark ocean. The clouds still lingered, threatening the city with thunderous roars. He remembered countless times when they were kids the mini lessons that Donnie had given them about all things with stars and planets. Raph often tried to ignore his brother's words or try to interrupt to start something else but there were times, rare times, where he took time to listen to Donnie's words. During those times, Raph admitted that he was hooked.

He knew he was harsh when they were kids. He argued with Leo, he would hit and yell at Mikey, and would either bully or avoid Donnie altogether.

With Donnie, Raph never knew how to act as tots. Donnie was so different. He was nerdy, sensitive, and logical. As much as Raph argued that it was because Donnie never came out of his lab to play and was always too much of a crybaby, it was only a part of it. The other part was that he was secretly intimidated by Donnie's abilities. When Splinter was teaching them, Donnie was always ahead. He started using big brainy words that to this day Raph didn't understand. He could fix everything in the lair and even had created his own inventions that greatly benefitted them.

As they grew, the feeling grew. Raph avoided Donnie even more for the reason he felt he couldn't hang out with Donnie. He felt too dumb to be around his brainy brother who could talk a mile a minute.

When training had started, Raph saw right away that Donnie wasn't going to fare well as the rest of them. He was lacking in natural skill and his form was thin. From the moment they all trained and practiced, Donnie was always two steps backwards. He spent more time on techniques and katas that took the rest of them barely a few days to master. Not to mention that he was given the bo. Raph could admit, he'd seen some pretty impressive moves from his younger brother but still. Even now, Raph knew that their previous enemies had thought less of his brother or pushed him aside.

During the previous years , Raph felt sorry for Donnie. He didn't like seeing Donnie fail from the exercises. He knew that one day they would all go topside and they would need to be on their top game if they were going to stop Shredder or the other crimes in the city. So he made comments during practices and sparring matches. He didn't always say the nicest things and he knew that he didn't tread lightly with his brother's sensitivity but in the end it was all means to try and encourage his brother. He wanted to see Donnie succeed and went about making crude remarks in the hope that Donnie would get fired up. Sometimes, they did work, other times. . .not so much.

He got punished by Splinter more than once and Leo never missed an opportunity to lecture him in some way. It agitated Raph to no end, eventually he shifted his focus from Donnie to Leo. He focused his attention to making sure he was stronger and superior in every way possible. In his mind if Donnie wanted to improve he'd do it himself.

Over the years, as Raph had previously thought, he changed his tune somewhat and opted to watch Donnie's back. Donnie still wasn't the best fighter out of all of them but Raph would be damned if he'd let the villains take advantage of it.

"Don. . ." Raph said aloud, more to himself. He brought his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

No matter how many times he told himself, Raph couldn't believe that his nerdy brother was still out in the world somewhere, alone. He couldn't bear to think of what torture Donnie was facing from this Osamu guy. Raph still didn't believe Leo when his oldest brother had given him the information that Osamu had relayed to him. It wasn't so much if the information was true, it was more on the lines of if Leo had given him and Mikey all the information. He knew Leo didn't have too many problems with keeping things from them. He much rather deal with stress on his own, which Raph hated. They were all dealing with the loss of Donnie, they should all deal with it together.

"One month Donnie. The guys and I. . .we haven't seen you for a whole month. I can't believe it. . ." Raph took in a painful breath, shuddering from the clouds overpowered the sky, droplets of water falling from their enclosure. They felt like tiny pins against Raph's exposed skin, but he ignored it. For all he knew the small pain paled in comparison to what Donnie was being dealt with.

If only he knew how right he was. . .

"Donnie, I know you can't hear me, I guess I'm pretending like you can for my own sanity. . .Do you remember what I said to you when I found your broken body after Slash beat you to a pulp. You asked for me and Mikey to leave you behind because you were too weak. I forgot to mention that bit when we had our long talk afterwards, but I told you no turtle left behind. I mean it brother. No matter what we're going to find you and bring you home.

"Donnie. . .please don't believe that you're weak. That you are ever too weak. You're stronger than you think little brother. I know that wherever you are you can overcome what's being thrown at you. I know it. You just need to hold out a little longer. We'll find you soon Don."

"Raphie. . ." The voice felt so real, as if it were right next to him, but he knew it-he wasn't.

That phone call was all that Raph cling to these days. It was the last time he heard his brother's voice. He felt it was all he had left. Raph groaned, the cold was beginning to get to him and he knew if he got sick he would never hear the end of it from fearless. Like his previous nights, Raph walked to the direction of April's. The redhead had kindly offered her apartment for Raph when he had begun his personal searches. Of course the nights he spent were filled with her trying to guilt trip him into going home, and occasionally he did. . .

Raph looked back at the rooftop. It had been a month. Maybe spending the night with the others was the best for right now. He knew Mikey was most likely a mess and Leo was probably struggling to help Mikey along with his own emotions.

He turned his head and walked off towards the familiar manhole cover.

The genius and the brute. The logic and the rage. The little brother and big brother.

Raph had hell to pay for the man who messed with the brains behind his brawn.

Chapter Text

"Ugh. . .what hit me. . .?" Donnie groaned as his senses returned to him, along with searing pain. He scrunched his eyes up in agony, biting down as sweat rolled off his warm face. He shivered as chills rattled through his body. His muscles ached, his breathing harsh. Donnie's head pounded with an unknown, but powerful force. He could feel his heart rate increase. He only became aware that he was laying on his bed when his body tangled itself into his sheets. He kicked them off, sitting himself upright and breathing heavily.

His room was coated with darkness and silence. The last thing Donnie remembered was being trapped in the devilish chair, forced to watch his past memories. Did his brothers rescue him? But. . .he had no memory of them saving him. Had he been unconscious? No, he couldn't have been. Sure he had been exposed to extreme trauma but he never went unconscious. If he had been asleep, he would have woken up from the sounds. Donnie was always known to be a light sleeper, add in the fact that he only saw nightmares when he slept, his brothers' presence would certainly have been noticeable.

He was fed up with all these questions and no answers. He needed to know what happened and, well every other detail after that. He needed to see his brothers. Not only to learn of what happened but also. . .they needed to talk. If these memories were truly as traumatic as he thought then there would need to be a serious conversation about them and how they would be handled. As much as Donnie wanted to shut them out and forget they existed, he knew he couldn't. The memories needed to be addressed.

He stepped from his bed, untangling his feet from the mess of sheets that now littered his floor. He minded where he stepped, not that he could see all that well but the embarrassment of slipping was enough for him to be mindful. Sticking his tongue out, Donnie made his way to his door. He felt a sense of accomplishment that was quickly overpowered with a sudden case of uneasiness. He carefully opened his door, peeking his head out like a scared little tot. He searched the hallway. The lair was quiet, but instead of a peaceful silence, an eerie silence met Donnie's ears.

He cautiously stepped out into the hallway, the cold floor created goose bumps on his arms. His body shivered as sweat continued to form. He didn't feel as painful as he did when he woke but the symptoms still lingered.

He quietly walked out into the main room of the lair. It was barely visible but he could feel the nostalgic comfort from his home. He smiled and sighed. His brothers were probably each asleep in their own rooms, most likely tired, from what Donnie assumed was a painful and challenging rescue.

Content that his anxiety was nothing more than the after effects of a troubling and excited day, Donnie made his way back to the corridors.

"So the dork's awake."

Donnie stopped in his tracks like a deer in headlights. His head slowly turned around until he was facing Raphael. His older brother was standing right behind Donnie, no more than five feet. His arms were crossed and his expression was the opposite of pleasant or anything caring. His emerald eyes glared at Donnie's soft ones. His face was contorted in a snarl. Donnie, for reasons unknown to him, felt his guard rising. He turned his body to his brother, putting up his hands in a defensive manner.

"R-Raph. . .?" Donnie croaked, "Is it really you?" He realized that this was the first time he was really seeing his brother, not just some hurtful memory. It was actually his brother. His big brother! Donnie felt his guard go down once again. This was Raph, not an enemy. His protective, big brother.

"Yeah, it's me." Raph said, almost irritatingly.

Donnie didn't notice, nor did he care. All he cared about was that he wasn't alone. For who knew how long he was forced to hear over and over again that Leo and Raph didn't care about him at all. He was told that they thought nothing of him. He was a pathetic failure to them. All Donnie could cling to was Mikey. Yet, he rarely had time to relieve his stress through the memories he shared with Mikey. Moments like that were rare and fleeting. They happened whenever Donnie wasn't escaping from a horrific nightmare or when he was being subjected to torture.

Still, during all that he was beginning to feel alone and just the sight of his brother. . .it was too much to take in. Donnie could feel an overwhelming sense of relief and happiness.

"Raph!" Donnie ran to his brother, wrapping his arms around his older brother. He could feel tears gather in his eyes but he didn't care. The fact that he could hug his brother. It was almost too much. His tears flooded down his face and down Raph's shoulder. His sobs filled the lair's silence. Donnie wrapped his arms tighter, yet he couldn't feel the gesture being returned. He blinked back his tears. He loosened his grip on his brother and slowly looked back at him.

"I never thought you guys would never come. . .I was so w-worried. I was starting to believe t-that everything he t-told me was true. . ."

"So, you really are still that dumb." Raph stated bluntly, keeping his eyes focused on Donnie.

"W-w-what. . .?" Donnie choked.

"You really thought that we cared? That we were going to come? Pathetic."

"R-Raph, I don't understand. . ."

"What's so hard to understand Donnie?" Donnie's head snapped to the corridors. He squinted at the figure until his eyes focused more, adjusting to the darkness. He could feel his heart stop. He became breathless.

Leo walked from his stance in the hallway, standing a few feet away from the pair. Similarly to Raph, Leo's expression was cold and dark. His eyes, that normally made Donnie feel safe and loved, were full of hatred. Donnie just couldn't understand. He was home, with his brothers. Obviously they cared about him enough that he was here, in his home with all of them. Shell, the last time he was with Leo his brother wanted to help him through his depression but now. . .Neither Leo or Raph looked happy that Donnie was there. And where was Mikey? Was his little brother asleep or did he not care that Donnie was awake?

"G-guys, w-what's going on?" Donnie asked, his voice shaking as he could feel his defenses act up again.

"You still don't get it do you Donnie? We didn't save you. Osamu couldn't get through to you so he brought you back here." Leo stated.

"But then why are you guys a-angry?"

"Why do ya think egghead. After you were taken we realized just how much you made things harder. While all of us got over father's death you still struggled. We saw how without your attitude we were able to come together and enjoy ourselves. We realized how much of a burden you were." Raph said, pushing Donnie from his body. Donnie fell to the floor, the pain from earlier returning. For the life of him, he couldn't pick himself back up. He was forced to watch Leo join beside Raph, mimicking Raph's stance.

"When Osamu took you Donnie, sure, we were worried. I mean look at this lair. It's chalked full with all your tech. With you gone how would things get repaired? Or what if we were found out again? Without you, we wouldn't be able to get a new lair set up."

Donnie let out a short chuckle, mixed with fear and relief. On one hand they saw him as a burden but on the other at least they felt he had some use. It wouldn't be all bad going back to being the repairman. At least he would still have a purpose.

"Then, since you were gone for so long, we all started to assume that you would never come back. So, when we gave up our patrols, we started taking up some of your responsibilities." Leo continued, crushing his brother's heart.

"That's right. Everything came easy to us. We learned that you had nothing to offer us anymore." Raph finished.

"N-no. . .No that's not true." Donnie replied, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"I told you he would deny it." Leo muttered to Raph. "Look Donnie, you can still live here and you're still our brother but. . .that's pretty much it."

"No!" Donnie shouted, placing his hands tightly over his ears.

"You're useless."

"No."

"Pathetic."

"No. . ."

"Failure."

. . .

"Worthless."

"A sadorable, idiotic excuse of a brother."

"NO!"

Donnie's eyes shot open, revealing nothing but darkness. He panted heavily, his head resting on top of his chest. His arms struggled against the familiar restraints. The weight of the overhead helmet along with the echoing Donnie's shout had sprung up, informing him that he was still trapped in the hellish chair, stuck in the same hellish place, having the same hellish nightmares.

A nightmare. That's all it was. But. . .Donnie swore he could feel his brother's presence. They felt so real. It was the first time he was able to touch them, to hug them. They're voices never sounded closer. It was like they were right there. Right in front of him, but they weren't. Not this time or the time before that and the time before that. Heck, they probably wouldn't be there next time either. How long had he been gone? Were they even still searching. Surely they were. Or at least Mikey had to be.

Donnie hated to admit it, he loathed to, but he could feel himself slipping. Every time he tried to replace his sickening nightmares of his older brothers with pleasant ones, it always failed. Whether it was from the lack of pleasant memories or that the horrific ones were just that bad, Donnie didn't know. He couldn't stand the idea of losing his brothers but it just didn't feel like that's how it was on the other end.

Leo had talked to him. He tried to get Donnie to open up like he truly cared about Donnie's emotions. Or, at least, that's how it seemed. . .

Donnie could still feel the effects from the nightmare. He could still hear the vile and hateful things his brothers had said. Raph saying he was a burden and Leo saying he was replaceable. Was it how his brothers truly felt? It's not like they ever gave Donnie a reason to think otherwise. With the constant belittling, pressuring, and isolation, it made pushing his emotions harder.

Though. . .Donnie still couldn't hate them. He still wanted them to save him and take him home. His feelings from the nightmare weren't wrong. He knew it would take a while to get over everything, that it would be double the challenge of healing, but they would be at his side. . .Right?

'At least I have Mikey. . .' Donnie thought.

Mikey was the only brother Donnie didn't have nightmares about. He was the only brother Donnie felt he could truly trust and felt safe around. His little brother, his only little brother was Donnie's last relationship that hadn't been tempered with. He loved Mikey to death and knew that his little brother would never, could never hate any one of them. No matter what.

"Donatello."

Donnie yelped. The voice was unexpected and echoed loudly through the cell, causing Donnie to cringe.

"How are you?" Osamu asked. Donnie snarled.

"Peachy. Just peachy."

"I'm sorry for making you suffer, you must understand it's the only way I can get you to see the full picture." Osamu replied, in a calm tone.

Donnie turned his head away. He just wanted to be alone. He didn't need Osamu's voice, giving him sympathies or pity. He was already dealing with the voices of his brother's belittling him every moment of the day.

"Tell me, what are you feeling?" He asked, once again.

"Why don't you tell me. With your technology I'm sure you're able to monitor every emotion I'm feeling."

"You aren't wrong Donatello. Our monitors here inform me of the deep war within yourself. I can see your logic trying to overwhelm the emotional part of your brain. I can see that your heart rate increase with every memory that flashes through your mind. I can see your adrenaline rise. Please remember Donatello, I am not the enemy here. I'm simply a man that cares for your well being. If that means showing you that you are not safe within the arms of your brothers and friends, then so be it. But I am not to blame, child. Believe me, it hurts to see you suffer in agony each day."

"Then how long are you going to control my mind like this? You claim watching me is painful yet you sit there on the sidelines watching, sending in one of your soldiers instead of yourself to take care of my injuries and my health. If you truly cared for my health, some say that actually trying to help speeds up the healing process." Donnie responded.

"In order for the healing process to begin, I need you to understand why your brothers are in the wrong. That leads to my next question. Have you had enough? I'm giving you an opportunity to let go of your past and start again. No more pain, no more suffering." Osamu continued calmly.

"You will no longer be seen as just someone who can fix things, nor will you be forced to fix things. You will be surrounded by people who only care about your well being even if you have done nothing for them."

Donnie raised his head toward where he imagined he was being watched. Even though his eyes were concealed, he formed a glare.

"No. . .even if Leo or Raph. . .even if that's how they see me. . .even if that's how my friends see me, I still have Mikey. I can't let go of everything and leave him behind. He's my best friend, my only little brother. I know he still cares about me. . .'' Donnie panted, he could feel his body become more and exhausted. Sleep deprivation, nightmares, abuse, flashing memories, it was all beginning to take its toll on him as he struggled to defend the last turtle he knew wouldn't think of him as Leo and Raph did. Mikey, his baby bro, his best friend.

His last hope.

"I was afraid of this. I'm sorry Donatello but until you let go, I must continue."

"Do your worst, Osamu. I'm n-not letting go."

"Osamu," Katsumi pleaded, "Look at him, I don't think he's going to be giving up anytime soon. You've already put over a month's worth of suffering into his mind. Don't you think that's enough? Don't you think now is the time to stop the torture and prove to him why you're the better option?"

Osamu looked over at Katsumi. He could clearly see the begging in her eyes. He looked back at the glass, revealing the cell to which Donatello sat. The mutant was bruised, and almost skeleton like. His skin was several shades lighter than it had been when Donatello was first brought in. The turtle was panting heavily and sweat coated his shivering body. From Katsumi's visits, he was close to a fever. His health was getting worse as were his nightmares. Osamu could see that Donatello was hiding the pain he was feeling. He could hear the anguish cries of the turtle as he spoke against the harsh words that he heard within the depth of his mind. What used to be nights of Donatello calling out for his brothers to come save him, were replaced by them to go away. Even pleas to his deceased father were rare but not unheard of.

Speaking of Splinter, Osamu knew in the very beginning that driving the turtle away from his father would be an added challenge. It was already past a month and Osamu still needed to enforce the youngest turtle's role in everything. Having to add the father's influence would just be a pointless hurdle that concealed a better solution. With Splinter dead, Osamu knew there was no way for the father to be with Donatello physically. As for spiritually, with Donatello's spirit a chaotic mess and the boy's already struggling with meditation, Osamu knew he didn't have to worry about such a gathering happening anytime soon. So, instead of forcefully showing Donatello any negative emotions with his father, Osamu figured he could use the rat's death to his advantage.

When he had kidnapped the turtle he knew that Donatello hat yet to mourn the passing of his late father. With those emotions of missing his father, along with the mixture of fear from his brothers, Donatello would be longing for someone to take the place of his usual source of comfort. That's where Osamu was going to step in. Once Donatello had nowhere else to turn to he would either let go of his life completely or be willing to try again.

He knew the perfect way to test the idea but he couldn't yet. Not with Donatello obviously still clinging to the safety of his little brother.

It annoyed him to still see that even after a month that was filled with weeks of suffering and nightmares that not once did Donatello show signs of letting go his loyalty for his baby brother. He knew that the youngest would be the toughest one but he was hoping that it wouldn't take as long to sever the connection.

That's what today was about. From Donatello's vitals and emotional state, he could see the psychological damage that had occurred. It would be wasted time to keep indulging the turtle with memories of his oldest brothers. The nightmares the turtle were having we're doing a good enough job to keep the turtle on his feet and reluctant to reach out to both Leonardo and Raphael.

If he didn't start engraving Michelangelo into those nightmares soon, he knew he would never be able to and Donatello would never willingly follow his plans.

Osamu glanced back at Katsumi, giving her a gentle smile. She had been the one that had been taking care of Donatello. She treated his injuries and did her best to make sure he was healthy and that his body was never in immediate danger. Osamu had a scientist on hand that was always aware of Donatello's vitals.

He could see that his friend wanted this to end, that she wanted him to either drop this project or stop the torture. There was a part of Osamu that was close to pulling the plug on this project, there truly was. He sometimes laid awake at night wondering if this was all worth it. He thought of how his parents would feel if they knew what he was doing. Was he as dishonorable as the clan he sought to destroy? Was the turtle truly worth all this trouble?

Then came the other part of Osamu. Every time he came close to stopping everything, he looked at the turtle as he suffered. It was almost as if he enjoyed it. Seeing the turtle writhe in agony, watching his world burn. It felt relieving in a way. After years of seeing his world burn as he struggled to gain control of everything, Osamu could feel his pent up anger and rage turn into greed as he watched Donatello suffer the same thing. Finally, someone else knew what it was like. Someone else was feeling the pain and it wasn't him. He didn't see Donatello as the frail, depressed turtle he was, no, he saw Saki there in the turtle's stead. He saw the foot clan. He saw all the members of the Hamato Clan. Everyone that pained him, that hurt him, mocked him, replaced the turtle. During those moments, Osamu increased the pain. He ordered more shocks, more abuse. As much as he would be allowed to, Osamu ordered more suffering, barely giving Donatello a break during Osamu's intense moments of unforgivable rage.

"Sir?" Katsumi asked, seeing that her friend was in deep thought."

"We can't stop." Osamu muttered. "We won't stop until he's given up."

"Okay. . ." Katsumi reluctantly agreed.

"Doctor, are we good to go for the next stage?" Osamu asked, turning the scientist at the computers.

"Yes but be careful. The patient's recently had a nightmare that's shaken him up more than usual."

"Understood." He replied, leaning his head toward the microphone that was connected to Donatello's speakers that were hung around in his cell. There were two speakers in total. They were at a safe enough distance that they wouldn't cause permanent damage to his ears but just close enough that they would be nearly impossible to ignore.

"So Donatello, what makes your little brother so special to you that you cling to as if he's the last source of comfort in your life." Osamu asked.

"What makes y-you think I'm g-going to tell you that?" Donatello asked with his barely audible, scratchy voice.

"If you'd rather not talk, I can leave you alone with your nightmares." Osamu said, hoping that at this point talking to him was better than seeing nightmares in Donatello's perspective.

"He's my best friend. As kids, Leo and R-Raph would get into fights. . .Mikey and I would s-spend that time together. He would come to me when he had nightmares. I would be his confidant as he would be mine whenever the issue was made known to him. He h-helped, or at least kept me company in my lab. Besides. . .he's Mikey. Our baby brother. . .I could never. . .He would never think. . ." Donnie stopped, thinking he justified his brother enough.

"I see what you're saying Donatello. Michelangelo means a lot to you and I struggle to find moments where he has shown that he holds any negative feelings towards you."

"Ha-"

"However, there is something else." Osamu stated, keeping his voice relaxed.

"What. . .?" Donatello asked, trying to mask his fear.

"It seems that you depend on Michelangelo for a means of emotional support that is lacking between Leonardo and Raphael. You see your relationship as a way to help you get through the emotions that are too challenging for you to handle on your own."

"My question is. . .are the feelings mutual? Before you get defensive, hear me out.

"From your answers and from what I've seen from your relationship second hand, it's clear that you truly depend on Michaelangelo. He's there to help you calm down from the stress of your position, he is the reason you are an older brother. As you said, he's the only brother that has ever really taken an interest in your sciences, so he's there to help you feel like your feelings are important."

"Where are you going with this. . .?" Donnie asked.

"You need Michelangelo more than he needs you."

Osamu could see the turtle freeze from the statement. Donatello was caught off guard, he had been ready to jump on the defensive side, ready to make claims that Michelangelo wasn't in the same category as Leonardo or Raphael.

"Think about it. For starters he already has two older brothers. If he goes to you for comfort what's the difference in going to either Leonardo or Raphael? Sure, Raphael is more gruff and Leonardo may not always give him the same comfort but think about how life has been recently. With the loss of your father, all of your brothers have been in an intense emotional state. Michelangelo is more than likely receiving enough support from them.

"Do you truly believe that just because you see him as your best friend that that automatically makes you is? Look at his relationship with your older brothers. Him and Raphael, while still not the perfect relationship, have seemed to greatly improve from the times I fought with you all during my time as a soldier. Or look at Leonardo. With your Sensei gone He's sure to draw closer to him as a way to preserve what he sees as your baby brother's innocence.

"Whereas your best relationship is with Michelangelo, his relationships seem farther than your brotherhood. He has, what's his name, ah, Leatherhead. Let's see he's also got that gecko kid. Whereas you have April. . .but then she killed you. . .you got your bro-nope, they think nothing of you. That monkey guy. . .? Oh wait, he nearly killed you too and that's when your brothers did nothing but laugh at you. . .

"I could go on, Donatello. Face reality. Michelangelo doesn't depend on you. You need him more than he could ever need you."

Osamu turned the microphone off as he finished. Through the thick glass he could clearly hear Donatello's anguish cry. Tears started to fall down his face, his voice whimpering from his words. Satisfied, Osamu turned to the scientist once again. "Play back some memories you stored from his little brother once he's a little more calm. I'm heading out to see what the scouts in New York have reported. Katsumi, you can go ahead and release him from the chair for a couple minutes. See if he needs anything. Also, feel free to talk to him today." Osamu said as he prepared himself to leave.

"Are you sure?" Katsumi asked, unsure.

"Absolutely." Osamu said before leaving.

Katsumi looked over to the turtle and entered his cell. As she entered, the bonds on Donatello's chair released. If not for Katsumi, the turtle would've slumped to the floor. Katsumi was there to catch him in an instant, wincing from the weight and how it was getting lighter with each time she did this.

Donatello groaned in response but immediately quieted as he was lowered to the floor. She could see his body relax on the cold tiles as it stretched itself out from sitting from so long.

"I'm sorry Donatello. . ." She said as she stroked her finger alongside the visible parts of the turtle's head. She wished she could take the helmet off; such action was only permitted when the turtle needed to use the restroom or from when it had to be.

"Y-you're talking to me. . .?" Donatello asked, having only heard her voice once.

"How are you feeling. . .?" She asked, avoiding the previous question.

"Numb. . .like. . .-"

"Like there's no one else in the world to save you? I get it. I felt like that after my family was murdered and my home was destroyed." Katsumi interrupted, speaking from her own experiences.

"I'm sorry that happened."

Katsumi had to stop herself from laughing. Even if she wasn't directly part of the turtle's torture it's not like she really did anything to prevent it, yet here he was, giving his sympathies for her instead of ignoring her or flat out cursing her out.

"H-How did you. . .heal. . .?" Donatello asked.

"Osamu found me. We had already been friends previously but he gave me the chance I needed to get off my feet and do something with my life. I won't lie, it took me a while to get back to a hundred percent, even now I don't think I'm fully there yet.

"Look Donatello-"

"Don." He stated.

"I'm sorry?" She questioned.

"J-just call me Don, it's easier than having to always s-say Donatello. . ." He responded with a weak smile.

"Don. . .What Osamu did for me, he's trying to do for you. He needed to show you all of this so you could see that you were surrounded by an unsafe and unhealthy environment. That's it. He only wants to help you and give you a greater opportunity. I promise, that once this is all over and done with he will never hurt you. He won't criticize you, belittle you, or make you feel like you're a failure.

"You just have to give him that chance. In the end, if you really rather be with your brothers then I will personally bring you back to them, okay? I promise." She knew that if Osamu heard her last line that she would get into serious trouble but she didn't care. It was worth the punishment.

"O-okay. . ." He responded.

"Try to get some rest, I'll start treating your injuries." She said, giving his arm a little rub.

As Katsumi turned to the med kit, she failed to hear Donatello mumble before falling into another uneasy sleep.

"Subete no nozomi wa kiete. . ."

All hope disappears. . .

Chapter Text

'What would Donnie do?'

It was the question that Mikey kept asking himself over and over again. He didn't know when he started using the phrase but ever since he came up with it, he used it in situations where he knew Donnie's way of thinking would be the solution. Whenever Mikey stumbled upon a problem, it was the first thing he said to himself. His older brother's way of thinking got him and his brother's out of countless problems. Sometimes Mikey heard his other brothers use the term.

'What would Donnie do?'

When they were tots, it was Donnie Mikey turned to. His brother always had an answer for Mikey's questions and always knew the solution to his problems. To Mikey, Donnie was someone who knew everything. From his complex equations to fixing whatever toy Mikey had either broken or lost that week. Donnie knew what to do. Yet, here was Mikey. Needing something. A solution, a clue, anything. The longer it took for the answer to be found, Mikey reverted back to his main question.

'What would Donnie do?'

Would he have the solution Mikey was so desperately searching for? That they were all hunting the city for? Would he be able to find the answer through his technical and logical skills that Mikey admired him for? Or would it be through his other vast talents?

His brother's brain would surely come to some sort of conclusion. Some sort of clue as to what the brothers needed. Mikey knew that. He knew Donnie wouldn't rest until something was figured out. Donnie would forgo his health, food, sleep, anything he didn't deem important until everyone in their family was safe.

Mikey knew it wouldn't take Donnie this long to find a missing brother.

He knew it wouldn't have taken Donnie two months to find one of them.

Two months. Two long, excruciating months with no sign of his older brother. Two months was too long for Mikey. It meant that for eight weeks Donnie was in the hands of some enemy that hadn't mentioned anything about what his plans were. He just showed up and captured their brainy brother right under their noses.

Mikey didn't understand. Granted, he's always had trouble understanding things, but this was different. Villains didn't just show up in their lives and randomly kidnap them. There was always a strategy, a motive. If Mikey's learned anything from his comics is that Villains don't just appear. They have a backstory. So what was this guy's?

Leo had mentioned that the guy's name was Osamu and he used to be a foot soldier, but that was pretty much it. Whether Leo told them everything or left out details, Mikey wasn't sure, though he did hope the later was incorrect. He didn't want to think about what would happen if Leo revealed he didn't tell him and Raph everything that night. The oldest brother's relationship was already messed up as it was right now. Gasoline was the last thing their fire needed.

All their relationships got worse after the first month, that much Mikey knew. Raph started spending more time topside and less time down in the lair. Heck, Mikey didn't even know the last time he saw his older brother. Raph barely ever came down to their home, only ever coming when it was super late into the night to make sure him and Leo were both safe. Mikey didn't know how often it was happening but he remembered being awake and hearing the sound of Raph's rough breathing as his door opened.

According to Casey, Raph had gotten angrier and more hostile whenever he searched with the teen. Raph didn't talk as much and whenever he did it was always a mix of curse words and insults. It was safe to say that Raph was losing patience, as were the rest of them.

'It's not like Leo's any better. . .' Mikey thought to himself.

Leo was known to be the most patient out of all of them yet it was clear to see that even the oldest was struggling with their failure. Mikey could hear his brother in the light night suffering from nightmares. It pained the youngest, especially after one of his own morbid dreams, to hear his brother try to deal with the grief himself. He tried to coax Leo into talking or letting him help, but Leo always refused.

The oldest brother was getting more quiet than usual and even had begun to go on his own searchers, leaving Mikey to go with April and the others or by himself. Honestly, he thought it was stupid for his brothers to go out alone but what could he do? It's not like they would listen to him. They never, or at least rarely ever listened to what he had to say. Mikey wanted to bring them all together, to talk to them and tell them they were being idiots. That they all should be searching for their brother together. . .

Mikey sighed, getting up from his bed, he left for the living room. It was early in the morning and he could see the sun begin to peak from the sewer grate above the dojo. The lair was silent, a common occurrence as of late. He couldn't hear Leo's calm breathing from the dojo, Raph's grunts from the punching bag, or the sound of Donnie's fingers striking the keyboard.

It was too much to bear, seeing the lair slip into the uneasy suffering as it had after. . .after Splinter's death.

Mikey quickly rubbed the tears that formed in his eyes. He had tried. He tried so hard to bring the positivity his brothers needed after the loss. He knew that he was needed for that. He had to recover for them, even if it meant spending nights alone crying, he had to do it for them. That was his role, his responsibility.

It took awhile but when Mikey noticed that Raph was no longer keeping himself locked away, it brought a huge relief to him. He had gotten through to one brother and was helping him heal. It brought a bigger relief to Mikey when he noticed Leo joined in as well. Out of all four of them, Mikey knew the death would be the hardest on Leo and Raph. Leo was the closest to Splinter and Raph had spent his life trying to get Splinter's attention. The death was immensely hard for all of them but it hit the oldest in different ways. One thing was for sure, it was now up to them to protect both Mikey and Donnie with them being the youngest of their small family.

Still, seeing Leo join in with him and Raph, made Mikey ecstatic. All that was left was Donnie. . .a challenge that Mikey knew if he failed, there would be no turning back, no second chances.

He knew that Donnie and Splinter were never too close. Donnie was more modern whereas Splinter was a lot more traditional. It's not that they didn't get along, they just were. . .different. That's not to say that Donnie wasn't affected by the death, oh no, he was. Mikey could clearly see that. For one thing, even if Splinter wasn't all too knowledgeable when it came to Donnie's inventions, he still supported whatever Donnie built. Mikey could see that. Splinter was one of Donnie's only support systems, other than Mikey himself. With him gone, it was no wonder why Donnie became more reclusive.

Mikey spent time trying and trying to work through Donnie's defenses. Whenever he could Mikey would talk to his brother about simpler things, waiting for the right moment to discuss with Donnie about his feelings. He knew he would have to be patient, really patient, like Leo level patient, but he would.

Donnie was his immediate older brother. He was always there for Mikey when he needed him. When Raph and Leo got too rough or were fighting, Mikey went to Donnie to seek shelter from the fire. So if Mikey had to be patient and do whatever he could to coax Donnie to talk through his feelings. He would. He knew what it was like to be suffering mentally and he hated to think about the same thing happening to his peaceful brother.

He did what Donnie would've done. Whenever an opportunity arose, he snuck into his brother's lab and would talk to him, only staying as long as Donnie permitted.

Mikey tried everything he could. All he wanted to do was bring everyone together. . .

Mikey slumped onto the couch, his eyes caught by the sight of Donnie's lab. The doors were shut tightly but even if he peeked, it would be void of it's creator. He used to spend almost all day in his brother's lab. Some days he just sat in his brother's chair. Other times he attempted to tidy it up a bit but would either quickly stop from his brothers' demands or from the fact he just couldn't bring himself to touch anything in the lab. He knew Donnie always got irritated whenever he misplaced or touched the fragile equipment.

Mikey looked around. He confirmed that he was the only one in the lair and walked cautiously towards Donnie's lab. He stood at the foot of the door, struggling to calm his breathing. He closed his eyes and shakily pulled the metal doors apart. He cringed from the loud screeching sound that was emitted. Nonetheless, he stepped inside.

His feet shivered from the cold concrete. The lights of the lair created shadows over his brother's many creations and inventions. Mikey's eyes wandered around the room. The lab was coated in a couple layers of dust. Scraps of metal were scattered around the floor just as Mikey had seen them the last time he had been in the lab. He didn't know if it was from Donnie having a breakdown or something worse but it was so unlike his brother to leave something as dangerous as shards of metal littered on the floor.

He turned his eyes towards Donnie's desk. The desk where Donnie almost always had his back faced to everyone. Where Donnie was always seen typing away at his computer. Sometimes, Mikey would even see the genius sketching some new idea or making blueprints that he was going to work with that day. Mikey had to admit that Donnie had some serious sketching skills. Yet Donnie's art was always precise, serious. He always wondered how Donnie's art style would look if he wasn't so focused on making something look perfect.

Mikey had developed more of his artistic skills during the grieving process, knowing it was better to do something useful for once in his life and something that he wouldn't be criticized for. It was something he knew he could do in Donnie's lab. It was something, just something, that helped spark mini conversations between them.

Those conversations weren't always completely intended to help Donnie. Those were the ones that Mikey needed to help himself. It wasn't easy trying to be the positive one in the family. He had his own emotions that he had to work on in private so not to overwhelm his brothers. After all, it was his role to be the sunshine personality in a world full of anguish and turmoil. . .

Mikey watched his footing and slowly made his way to his brother's desk. Donnie's computer was long shut down, his various notebooks were all opened to small ideas that were circled and crossed off. Some included new inventions that were circled with a few question marks. Other bubbles that were crossed off were unreadable to Mikey but from the looks of it, they were moments where his brother expressed his feelings. If it was true, it certainly made sense to Mikey as to why they were crossed off.

He looked over to Donnie's small bookshelf. He noticed some composition books and couldn't help himself. He double checked the spot it was in before pulling it out. It was of Donnie's more recent books. He opened it up to a random page, and scanned over the pages. Mikey gasped, but couldn't stop reading what his brother had said.

Journal 39:

Testing my third attempt at a serum for Karai today. My head is killing me from the 'Creepweed' incident but I do admit. . .it was interesting to see the world from a different perspective. It was as if the logical part of me completely turned off and my more 'creative' side turned on. Though, I do remember everything that happened during it. I wonder if it's how Mikey sees the world. If so, I've got to be more gentle on him. Ugh, stupid headache. Hopefully it goes away. Either that or maybe Leo will stop pestering me. Whichever comes first.

Mikey picked out another entry, a part of him was happy that Donnie had at least written down some of his feelings, but. . .he continued reading.

Journal 40:

Well today sucked. Not only did I fail in yet another attempt in curing Karai, I was the reason why all my brothers (myself included) got captured by Karai herself. After my experiment failed and I expressed to my family that I may not ever be able to free Karai, )I'm not a miracle worker after all, only a limited scientist) Splinter expressed his sadness but accepted the news. I was disappointed in myself but I was also exhausted. I had pulled one too many all nighters on this project and I needed rest. Leo had not been okay with the simple request and even accused me of not trying hard enough. . .

I was tired, frustrated, and let my guard down. Karai managed to lure me into a trap by making herself look like April (go figure) and all my brothers soon followed. Anyway, I'm tired, I'm shaking out of my shell thanks to being shocked over and over again. Fortunately I have yet another failure to add to my ever growing list. . .

Mikey closed the book, remembering the incident fully. Donnie had secluded himself for a couple of days after that before turning back to his 'normal self'.

He returned the book back to its spot on the shelf, sitting himself down on Donnie's chair. The chair creaked from the sudden weight but otherwise remained as quiet as it's environment. He leaned his back, closing his eyes, remembering a moment with his brother.

"Donnie. . .?" Mikey knocked gently on his brother's door. He knew he should be in his own room. This was a rare time where Donnie had actually agreed to go to bed along with the rest of them instead of pulling an all nighter in his lab, working late on whatever project had captivated his attention. Plus, Donnie had already pulled a week's worth of sleepless nights. He didn't need Mikey making another one.

"Come in, Mikey." Donnie replied softly, granting his brother entry.

Mikey carefully opened the door, mimicking a small child as he crept into his brother's room. Donnie was sitting up in bed, his mask folded up on the nightstand, his laptop in his lap. Donnie looked from what he was typing and looked up at his little brother. Mikey could see the dark circles that were under his brother's lids. Without the purple mask, Mikey saw the way his brother's cheeks hallowed from lack of nutrition. For weeks Donnie had worked tirelessly on trying to create a cure for mutagen. After the mutagen spill, along with April's father getting mutated, Donnie pushed past his health to find a cure.

Luckily today had been the day. Donnie had succeeded, April was back with her father, and they could start curing all the mutants that were scattered around the city. Still. . .Mikey couldn't get to sleep.

Donnie looked at Mikey with concern. He could see that something was deeply troubling his little brother. He closed the tab he was on and went through his routine for shutting his laptop. With a final click he closed the computer and set it gently on his nightstand. He scooted over, moving closer to the wall, and patted the spot on his bed that he had currently been on. Mikey's eyes lit up and rushed to the mattress. He jumped in, beside his brother and immediately snuggled himself under the worn blankets.

Donnie smiled and Mikey giggled.

"So any reason as to why you wanted to join me? Not that I don't enjoy your company, I'm just curious. You usually only come to me after a nightmare or after a hard day?" Donnie asked, his voice full of brotherly concern.

It was a reason why Mikey liked to come to Donnie. Leo would sometimes offer his comfort but not always. With Raph, well, Mikey dreaded waking his hotheaded brother up. Donnie was different. He always let Mikey come in to snuggle and help him through whatever he was dealing with.

"Yeah, I know. . ." Mikey responded softly, chewing on his lip.

"You're not injured are you? I know you got pretty banged up from luring April's dad. I can look over you again if you're still feeling pain. I already gave you medication so I still have to wait before I can administer anymore but I could grab you an ice pack, or heating pad. Are you hungry? I know I'm not the best cook but-"

Mikey giggled. It was so like Donnie to care for everyone else when they were hurt or injured, especially if that someone was his baby brother. As much as Mikey appreciated Donnie caring for him, and offering to make him feel better with food, it wasn't what was wrong.

"I'm not in pain, D." Mikey stated, interrupting his brother from his ever growing mumbling of ways to help.

"Oh okay. . .so what's got you upset?"

"How do you know I'm upset?" Mikey asked, already knowing the answer.

"Well since you're not physically in pain, the only other reason you're here has to be that you're upset about something. Now c'mon, you can talk to me Mikey. What's going on?"

Mikey sighed, trying to keep himself composed. "It's. . .It's about you. . ."

"Me?" Donnie asked in surprise, searching his mind for what he could've done to make Mikey upset.

"You know how you made the retromutagen today?"

"Yeah. . .?"

"And once Razar found out he sent like a bunch of foot soldiers after it. . ."

"Go on. . ." Donnie said, having an idea where this was going as he recalled the memory.

"What if. . .What if they go after you now? They know that it was all used up but what if they realize that you were the one that made it? Don't you realize Shredder's whole army will be after you to get it?! And what if they do get you, Donnie? What if they take you away from us to make it? What if we never see you again! What if Shredder kills you?!" Mikey cried, hyperventilating with each question.

"Woah woah Mikey, take it easy." Donnie directed, massaging his brother's shell, helping him breathe easier. "It's okay Mikey, just breathe. Nice and slow. . .good. . ." Donnie gently said, noticing that Mikey was settling down more.

Donnie admitted, as he was working on the cure he thought about the possibility of their enemies figuring it out and wanting some for themselves. He never thought of himself as a target before and was frankly, unsettled with the idea. He couldn't defend himself as well as his brothers and if he was pitted against all of Shredder's mutated goons, that would be nothing but trouble. He didn't know if Leo or anyone else knew the risk he was taking but in the moment, Donnie couldn't care less. There were innocent people, Mr. O'Neil, who were stripped of their identities and doomed to suffer a life that wasn't meant to be for them. He didn't care if he was painting a huge target on his back, if it meant curing the people of New York from something he caused, he would do it.

Though, as Mikey voiced, today didn't ease all of his fears. Razar and Stockman knew there was a cure. They were both hideously mutated and knew there was a possibility of that changing. A chance for them to go back to their normal selves. Donnie didn't want to admit it for fear of sounding weak or naive but he wanted to cure Shredder's men. As much as he disliked them for the trouble they caused, they didn't deserve to be mutated. No one deserved it.

But retromutagen takes far longer than Donnie originally planned. It takes multiple canisters of mutagen along with April's DNA. There's just so much that goes into its chemical makeup that Donnie didn't know when his next batch would be ready. If there was anything that Donnie did know, it was that Shredder wasn't known for his patience. If and when he figured out that Donnie knew the formula for the cure, he wouldn't have the patience to wait for it to be made, not that Donnie would willingly make it under Shredder's command. If he was going to cure his men, it was going to be on Donnie's terms.

Though. . .that didn't stop his fears. What if Mikey was right? What if he was taken away from his family, forced to make the cure and possibly face death from his slow pace? His own anxieties rose from the stressful scenario but he couldn't let Mikey see that. He had to show Mikey that everything would be okay. It wasn't his place to worry about it after all. Donnie had taken the responsibility and burden of the creation and would carry that burden for the rest of his life if need be.

"Mikey, I knew the risk I was taking when I started creating the retromutagen. I knew that it could potentially put a target on my back. But listen," Donnie said, gently lifting Mikey's head so their eyes were meeting, "I'm not going anywhere bud. I promise and I keep my promises."

'At least I try to. . .' Donnie thought to himself.

"No one's gonna separate us, okay? Leo, Raph, Sensei. . .they'll make sure we're all together and safe. In case you've forgotten Mikey, if Shredder does ever want me, he's got to get through all of us first." Donnie said, hoping it was enough to soothe Mikey's fears.

"Are you sure. . .?" Mikey asked, peering up at Donnie with his puppy dog eyes.

"I'm positive." Donnie firmly stated.

Mikey smiled at Donnie, giving his brother a big squeeze. Donnie returned it, rubbing Mikey's head gently.

"So am I clear to spend the night with you? Ya know, I gotta make sure that you're still here when I wake up." Mikey said in a joking tone to hide his still lingering anxiety.

"Of course Mikey. You know I never mind you spending the night with me." Donnie said, wrapping the blanket tighter around their bodies.

"Thanks Don. I love you Donnie. . ."

"I love you too, Mikey. . ."

"Oh and Donnie?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm gonna make sure that no one ever takes you away from us."

"Whatever happens Mikey, I'll always come back home."

"No matter what?" Mikey asked, snuggling close.

"No matter what."

No matter what. That's what Donnie had promised him. No matter what he would find his way home and return to them. . .but things were different now. They didn't have Splinter to help them. They didn't have a clue to who exactly Osamu was and why he took Donnie.

Mikey brought his knees to chest, letting his sniffles fill the room. He remembered the night so clearly yet it felt so long ago. At the time Mikey thought that they all would really be able to stick together forever and always

That wasn't the case. Donnie was gone. He was actually gone. With Leo off in his own world and Raph hunting the city twenty four seven, Mikey was left by himself. He kept turning to Donnie for comfort, for relief but Donnie wasn't there. He wasn't there to bring peace to Leo and Raph or figure out some complex solution.

Mikey didn't bother wiping the tears from his eyes. Donnie was being kept somewhere, all alone. Probably hurt and falling deeper into his depression with each moment they weren't there to comfort him. Leo and Donnie had a talk about his depression before everything. Leo had said that Donnie was going to open up more and accept their help. They were so close. . .

'What if it wasn't enough. . .'

Mikey sniffled again, he was about to pick himself up when he heard the familiar sound of the turnstiles and instead of only one pair of feet, there were two.

"How could you be so stupid Raph! Storming into the Purple Dragons' hideout, alone? You know they haven't fully disbanded!" Leo shouted, coming up from behind Raphael.

"What else am I supposed to do Leo? They could have our brother right now and you don't expect me to do something?!" Raph yelled, turning towards Leo, shoving the blue banded turtle.

"Yes, Raph. I do! Maybe if you would've stuck around you would've known that Karai and I already searched and interrogated the Purple Dragons. He's not there." Leo countered, shoving Raph back.

"Then they're lying! He has to be there!"

"Raph, believe me, he's no-Where are you going?!" Leo shouted as Raph turned back towards the turnstiles.

"Every moment I waste down here is another moment where Donnie isn't home and is in that creep's hands! You think I'm just sit back and let you lecture me?"

"Raphael!" Leo shouted.

"Raphie. . ."

Raph abruptly halted. He turned slowly around to see Mikey standing in the frame of Donnie's lab. His eyes were full of tears and his body was slumped. It had been the first time in a while where Raph really got a good look at Mikey and he didn't like it one bit. His baby brother looked hopelessly exhausted, similar to Donnie when he was struggling to cure both Timothy and April's dad. As much as Mikey's appearance halted Raph's departure, it was what he said that ultimately did it.

"Raphie. . ."

The one word Raph kept hearing over and over in his head. Here he was struggling to find his brother who was most likely hurt only to fail to realize that his other younger brother was suffering badly too. Raph wanted to punch himself. Without Donnie there, it was up to him and Leo to provide the sturdy comfort that Mikey needed. Donnie and Mikey had the closest bond out of all of them to begin with. Of course Mikey would be suffering, perhaps even more than Raph himself. Raph looked back at Leo. He knew his oldest brother was trying his best to control the situation. No doubt Leo had checked with the Purple Dragons. Raph sighed to himself. He couldn't be the hothead now, not when his other brothers needed him. Not when Donnie depended on him.

"I-I'm sorry Mikey. . ." It was all Raph could say.

Mikey smiled a little, running from the lab he tightly hugged his brother. Raph returned the favor, holding Mikey close.

"It's okay Raph. We're gonna get him back. You know. . .Donnie once told me that if he was ever taken, granted we were talking about his retromutagen, but he said if he was ever taken that he would find his way back to us. That he would come home no matter what." Mikey said with some confidence. Raph returned his gentle smile, holding Mikey a little closer.

"I don't doubt him Mikey. Donnie's strong, stronger than we give him credit for. He'll pull through whatever's being thrown at him."

"G-guys. . .T-there's something I need to tell you. . .'' Leo said, cutting through the sniffling. His fingers fidgeting nervously and he kept his focus away from his brothers. He couldn't bear to look at them. He kept something from them for two months and just never found the courage to say anything. He knew it was wrong. How many times was he lectured to trust his brothers? But this wasn't about trust. He just didn't want to make the burden heavier on his little brothers than it already was.

"What is it Leo?" Mikey asked, him and Raph turning to Leo.

"I-I didn't tell you guys everything that Osamu told me. . .back at the ambush. . .Before he knocked me out, as I said, he knocked Donnie out first. . .but right before he shot me with the dart. . .he told me t-that the next t-time we would see Donnie. . ."

"What Leo, what did he say?" Raph said, not liking where this was going.

"D-Donnie. . .he wouldn't b-be the same. That h-he would be under O-Osamu's influence-his loyalties. . ."

Mikey shook his head, no, it couldn't be true. There was no way. . .

"But Donnie would never turn against us! He loves us and he knows we love him! He j-just wouldn't! O-Osamu doesn't k-know what he's t-talking about! H-He doesn't k-know Donnie like I-I d-d-do!" Mikey yelled, hiding his face in Raph's chest as he sobbed. Everything started to click. Why Donnie was taken, why it was taking so long for them to find him, why Leo could hardly look at any of them these past two months and why it seemed he had the worst nightmares.

"O-Osamu also said that. . .when we see D-Donnie it'll b-be on his terms. . . but t-that was a-all! I-"

"You lied to us." Raph stated coldly, glaring at Leo.

"Ra-"

"YOU LIED TO US! Admit it! All grown up huh fearless? Just couldn't stand the idea of us knowing everything. How could you keep that from us? So not only was Donnie taken but now he's been under some creep's control for the past two months?!"

"No! Donnie would never!" Mikey sobbed.

"It's not like that Raph!"

"So I've been searching nonstop for months just for you to spill that we're never gonna find him?"

"That's not true Raph, we will find him!" Leo shouted

"At this point he probably doesn't want to be found!"

Mikey looked back and forth on the chaos. Raph had released him and was gearing up on Leo, if Mikey didn't do something soon. . .

"What would Donnie do?" And for once, Mikey knew.

"SHUT UP!" Mikey yelled. Both Leo and Raph turned back to him, silently stunned from the volume of Mikey's voice.

"Leo. . .thanks for telling us. . .I know you've been struggling with something for a while and I knew you would tell us when you were ready so thanks. . . Raph I know it hurts but you gotta let go of your anger. If you're going to take your anger out on someone, take it out on Osamu when we see him next. Please. . . we can't afford to fight right now. Donnie needs us, now more than ever. It might be another week, heck maybe another month or two till we find him but if we're going to find him we can't keep going solo anymore. We have to stick together. Donnie's life may depend on it. So please. . just stop fighting."

Both Leo and Raph looked at each other with gilt. Mikey's words rang true. They needed to put everything aside and stick together if they wanted to find Donnie. They couldn't let anything get in the way of that.

"You're right Mikey." Leo said, placing a hand on Mikey's shoulder and enveloping him into a hug. Raph joined soon after.

"We're gonna find him guys. I just know it." Mikey said, holding his brothers close, hope filling his heart. No matter what they were going to find Donnie and bring him home.

Or so they thought. . .

"Osamu, you need to see this." One of his guards said as they monitored the camera feed that was coming from Donatello's cell. The turtle was currently living through a section of his deepest nightmares that consisted of each of his brothers along with the words Osamu had spoken to him ever since the torture started.

Donatello's head was bowed down, he was clearly out of breath. Osamu leaned in closer as the turtle's screams echoed through the room and out the speaker. He gasped. As Donatello let out his most painful scream he uttered,

"I can't. . .I can't take this anymore. . ."

"Sir?" The guard looked up at him.

"Finally. . .after all this time. . .Prepare the final phase of the breaking. Let's find out if we can truly sever his family bonds."

Chapter Text

He couldn't believe it. It was too unreal to be true but it was. The moment had finally come. After two months of constant work and vigilance, his experiment was nearly complete. He knew in the beginning the chance of it succeeding was slim to none. If he made one mistake, one misstep, he knew that it would all end up in failure. He had to make each move calculated, thought out completely. He couldn't miss anything, and in his eyes, he didn't. He spent late nights, strategizing, plotting, and it all led to this very moment.

Osamu gleamed proudly at what had become of Donatello. The turtle was unconscious, his body limp in Katsumi's arms. He was completely disconnected from the chair, along with the helmet and all IV's that stemmed from his arms. Even with the care that Katsumi had been providing the turtle, his body still looked like it had been through the wringer, which, in a way, it had.

His breathing was labored, his eyes closed painfully shut as he whimpered here and there. Osamu, once again, couldn't help but smile. He remembered when he first had captured the turtle. What was two months ago felt like a year. The turtle was confident, absolutely positive that his brothers would come to his aid, truly believing their care and love for him was real.

Now all that was left was a broken child that believed there was no one left in the world to help him. That he was fated to be left alone for the rest of his miserable life. Osamu saw the nightmares, he heard the anguish cries Donatello made for someone, anyone to come save him. At first, these cries had been specifically for his brothers. He begged for his big brothers to save him but overtime, hearing they're names became a rarity.

One night, after an increasingly hard day of torture, Donatello had been in the mist of a gruesome nightmare. His faint voice formed the words of his older brother's names but, immediately afterwards, had shuddered. Just the action of saying his brother's names had subconsciously triggered a sequence of painful memories.

With the nights that followed, he spoke only of Michelangelo's name, but even that had an expiration date. It wasn't long after those nights when Donatello didn't even dare to mutter his baby brother's name in his cries of agony and fear. At that point, Donatello had no one else to turn to. No friends, no family, not even a father to cry to.

In the beginning, Osamu knew that his intentions were to help Donatello. Over the years, his constant fighting of said turtle, led him to see some of the deep emotional scars. They touched him in a way that the others didn't. They reminded Osamu of himself. He had known that with time, he could help the turtle and gain him as an ally for his growing clan.

Yet, there was just something that felt so good about slowly destroying the Hamato Clan. There was something so satisfying about breaking Donatello's hard shell so to speak. Seeing the turtle suffer, seeing him mentally struggle and surrender. . .

Even now, as he gazed down at the turtle. He was in such a vulnerable and weakened condition. A condition that Osamu had brought but had made the turtle believe otherwise. As far as Osamu knew, the turtle was stuck believing his brothers were the ones truly responsible for his strife. After all, it was memories of them that haunted Donatello. Whether or not the turtle could see past it all, that it was Osamu's hand that acted as the catalyst, Osamu didn't know.

He wasn't about to assume that Donatello's words of asking, begging for death, was a sign that he was ready to accept Osamu's previous offer of joining the clan, no, it would just be pure irresponsibility. Truthfully, Donatello was in a very fragile state, but that didn't mean his logical way of thinking and analyzing situations was completely watered down. Osamu saw from the beginning of his breaking process there would need to be one more thing. One final push that would reveal Donatello's wish. It would prove if the turtle still wished to join his family, to once and for all perish, or want a second chance.

Osamu knew that before he had captured Donatello, he and Leonardo had talked about everything in the past. Donatello had revealed most of what he had been hiding from his brother from Leonardo's constant pestering. At that point, Donatello had completely broken down. Leonardo had outstretched his hand and offered comfort to his depressed brother and Donatello had taken it. That moment, Osamu didn't know if he fully broke it, but just in case he didn't, he thought if he couldn't shatter the memory, then how about replacing it? If all went right with this final trial, it would be his hand outstretched for Donatello's, and with his brothers nowhere near his location, there would be no chance that they would interfere with the interaction.

Speaking of their location, Osamu couldn't help but chuckle. The turtles still had no idea that Osamu had left New York and was somewhere amongst Japan's many provinces. His scouts reported that they were doing an amazing job searching through the vast city and even going beyond the limits, but it was all in vain. Even Karai's new foot soldiers weren't able to pick up on anything. From videos and pictures, Osamu could see that the brothers and their friends were growing hopelessly desperate. The brothers were spending less and less time searching together and went their own roots.

He wished he could see how they were all holding up in person but he couldn't, at least not yet. If he showed his face now that would most likely result in the end of his life. The turtle's bond was something to be reckoned with, he couldn't imagine the raw strength that the three brothers would muster from the sight of himself. As Osamu stated, now was not the time to make an appearance, but once everything was in order, he couldn't wait.

Just one more trial. One more form of torture to see Donatello's true feelings.

"Do you want me to remove everything, Osamu? For the next step?" Katsumi asked, looking up at Osamu and interrupting his silent thoughts.

"Yes but keep his mask on." He stated, still looking into space with his endless thoughts.

"I'm assuming there's a specific reason for such a simple action?" She inquired. Osamu nodded, taking a seat beside his friend as he let out a calm breath.

"It's the last thing Donatello has that symbolizes his place with his family. An identity so to speak. It will be solely up to Donatello whether to keep it or disregard it." Osamu stated, looking at the purple fabric tied around Donatello's face. It was worn and blood stained but he knew of the deep emotion that came from wearing the bandana. It was a small momentum that kept the brothers connected. Such as with the torture, it wasn't something that Osamu could simply remove. In the end, it would have to be Donatello's choice of what would happen to it. Keeping it would mean he still feels connected to his clan, his family, but turning it away would mean that he's either willing to accept something new or he refuses any choice completely.

"Are you sure we need to do this? It seems. . .a little much. . ." Katsumi spoke softly, rubbing small circles on Donatello's head.

"If we don't do this, we will never know where he truly stands. If we move on to the next step, he could fool us all and destroy everything we've created."

"I understand." Katsumi replied.

"Good. Let me check to see if everything is set up for this. If he wakes up or shows any signs of it, you know what to do." Osamu said, getting up and leaving the cell.

He walked down the corridors of his facility, his footsteps echoing through the dark hallways. Besides his footfalls, everything was silent. The soldiers he passed silently bowed, making their way to their own destinations. The usual soft whispers of soldier's conversing were silent as ever. It was clear that everyone was on edge tonight. Their reasons were rightfully justified. If one thing went wrong tonight, one mistake, whether it be on Osamu's part or Donatello's, the result would still be the same. Failure. Two months worth of work, planning, resources, expenses, would all waste away into the pits of failure. Nothing could go wrong tonight, absolutely nothing.

Osamu could cut the tension with a single slice, heck he was even beginning to sweat as he entered his destination. Scientists were rummaging about, making final calculations and adjustments. Soldiers were at their disposal, helping them with whatever they needed.

Osamu walked through the chaos, his eyes landing on one object.

A tank, no more than nine feet long, five feet wide, filled with freezing salt water. Metal hoops bolted to the bottom, connected to short shackles. To the average person, it just looked like a normal tank that would fit marine life or other small experiments, but to Osamu it was entirely different, in a way.

It seemed like a simple plan. Place Donatello in the tank, make sure he's secured, and see how long he lasts. Indeed, it seemed like it was too simple, even pointless, but the true power behind it was more complex than any of his soldiers would realize.

Once Donatello would be placed in the tank, his survival instincts would immediately be ignited. He would be able to conclude in a matter of seconds how long he could possibly hold his breath and then come to a solution. Yet, with no brothers, his limbs being chained, and his already weakened condition Donatello would come to the conclusion that there would be no possible way out of the situation. This would lead him to ponder everything that has happened to him. Where he stands with his family. The love between him and his brothers. His self worth. His true emotions. He would be once again surrounded by darkness and silence but this time with a timer. This time his life would be hanging in the balance.

Osamu wanted the turtle's thoughts to be racing. He wanted Donatello's thoughts to surround everything he's been facing and nothing else. With the added variable that his time would be limited, more than usual, Osamu was nearly positive that what he wanted would fall into place.

From his research, along with the fact he was using salt water rather than fresh, and with Donatello's weakened condition, Osamu predicted that Donatello would only be able to hold his breath for about two minutes and thirty seconds. It was just a little more than the average human's but less than what he guessed the turtles could hold their breaths at maximum capacity.

Going along with that information, there was one last part of this whole thing that would give Osamu the results he was looking for. In the end, Donatello would be given three answers to his predicament, with each answer reflecting his emotions. The first one being, holding his breath to the very end until he possibly couldn't. Meaning that either Donatello still feels the fire in him to continue fighting and or there's still a part of him that wants to be reunited with his brothers.

On the other hand, there's the answer of him giving up. Whether it's that he wants to give up on life completely or he wants something more, Osamu wouldn't know for sure, but he didn't care about not knowing. Even if it would be a mere minutes, a couple of seconds between how long Donatello could possibly go to him giving up meant that there was a chance for Osamu to get through to him. That was the hope of the final trial. The final form of torture.

If Donatello where to go to the very end, Osamu knew it would be pointless to try again, it would be easier to let the turtle die and destroy the rest of the clan, but if could just push Donatello, just a little harder and force the turtle to reach his breaking point, he knew he would succeed. . .

The darkness surrounded him like an uncomfortable blanket. How long was he to remain in the quiet hell alone? Though, there was something different about the darkness this time. For one, he wasn't strapped to the devilish chair. He couldn't feel the weight of the helmet he had grown accustomed to wearing. No, the opposite was what he was feeling.

He felt like he was floating, but at the same time held down. His body felt numb but as if hundreds a little knives were stabbing away at his skin. His muscles were tight and stiff. He could feel goosebumps coat his body. He tried to take a breath, help his aching chest to feel some form of relaxation yet, he found he couldn't. His mouth was full of air and tightly sealed. Had his mouth been tied down? But why? As far as he knew, making noise was something that was never met with a punishment. Why now would his mouth be covered?

'Because it's not covered, dummy.'

Donnie realized that his thoughts were true. The floating, the sudden decrease in temperature, the way his body was conserving oxygen, he wasn't in his cell, he was in water.

His mind raced.

'Okay Donnie, don't freak out, it's just a little water-Arg scratch that salt water. You're a turtle after all, yes, a freshwater turtle but still. This is your element, y-you can do this.'

He knew he didn't have much time. Two minutes at best was his guess. He had no idea how long he was even in, what he guessed was some tank, the water and that was enough to strike fear.

It's going to be okay. . .maybe the guys will be here soon. . .who am I kidding. . .the likelihood of them showing up isn't good. I'm on my own for this. Let's see, yep, my arms and legs are chained to the structure, shell. Maybe if I wasn't so weak I could break through them but there's no way for me to do that now. The salt water is significantly weakening my body and reaction time. My chest is throbbing painfully as well as my wounds that haven't been fully healed. This isn't good for them. Agh! There goes the salt into my wounds. I can't keep at this for too much longer. At this point I got a minute and forty five seconds.

Donatello pulled on the chains that were keeping his body secure. They weren't budging in the slightest. He knew he had to get out of there but there was no possible way. He didn't know what the point of this was and had no way to know if this was going to be it.

Could it be 'it'? After all this time of going through the endless nightmares and pain of being forced to see his brother's true feelings while all he could do was sit and watch, was it always going to end in death? Not that he really minded otherwise. . .

Death. It was something that Donnie feared. How many times did him and his brothers almost die but miraculously saved at the last moment? Far too many times in Donnie's opinion. He was a logical thinker after all. Numbers, percentages, calculations were how he concluded his decisions. In any fight, he made sure to always calculate the possibility of him and the others walking away injured or scarred. All it would take would be one mistake and one of them could be injured for life. For all the times Donnie calculated and planned, there were so many nights where the percentage of his brothers dying or at least getting fatally wounded were higher than they were nearly unchangeable. Though, somehow, turtle luck would save them and shut down all of Donnie's equations for their battles.

The closest Donnie ever had been to death was being molecular scattered by April, but even then he came back. Even then he had his brothers to turn to.

Even then, Splinter was still alive. . .

One minute, thirty seconds

Splinter's death was proof that turtle luck couldn't fix everything. It didn't save his father in time, nor did it spare them of the heartbreaking grief. Death was unavoidable. Donnie knew that once his father had passed. Maybe this time it was unavoidable for him. Maybe this was the moment where everything he created, everything he strived to do, all the promises he made wasted away into nothingness.

Could it be? That after all these years, was it 'it' for him? Is this the end? If so. . .was the timer of his lung capacity really what set him away from death?

Did he really have to wait for the timer to hit zero or could he end it all in the blink of an eye.

It's not like anyone would be there to save him. If his brothers weren't here now it was most likely they never would be. Though, it wasn't like Donnie was anxiously waiting for their arrival, not anymore at least.

"Useless"

"Failure"

"Weak"

"Pathetic"

"You need him more than he needs you."

The endless nightmares. . .the recollections. . .no matter how hard he focused, how hard he tried to tell himself that it was all lies. . .it all ended in vain.

One minute and fifteen seconds

He didn't have much time. All he could do was float helplessly in the silent abyss. His muscles were painfully tight, he could feel blood pool from his wounds. It was painful beyond belief yet the pain was overwhelmed by the numbness he was beginning to feel. It surrounded his mind. His once racing thoughts were as silent as the water.

His mind thought again, if it was truly the end, did he have to wait until the last second? It would be so easy to just let go and maybe find peace in the next life. Maybe he'd find his father, maybe even get to meet Teng Shen. Maybe he'd know the truth of his brother's emotions. Perhaps they did love him, perhaps they truly didn't. Either way, at least he would be safe somewhere.

But what if he waited until the very last second? Perhaps putting that last bit of faith in his brothers would magically bring them here, or bring himself back to their home. Who knows, there could be a chance they could all live together again. If Donnie had to return to his position as the emotionless repairman at least his brothers would be happy, right?

He clenched his hands into fists, struggling once again. He knew there was no point in the act but what else was he to do? Live the rest of his moments in suffering, feeling the hatred that his brothers brought him or simply give up on life altogether, escaping to the confinements of heaven or hell? Not that he really believed the world existed but still. . . Or would he just simply spend the rest of his life in the quiet darkness he had grown used to these past few weeks of captivity.

He had no answer. All these questions and all he could think about was the failure he had become. He failed to keep his promises, he failed to make his brothers happy. He failed. That was that.

No amount of pizza could fix his mistakes, but maybe this was his chance. Instead of trying to fix things maybe for once he should just stop. Stop thinking, trying to find the solution. Instead of pushing himself past his limits, for once shouldn't he try to stay within them?

He already felt he was at his breaking point, what more could he go beyond? What more could he do?

One minute

That was that. He had one more minute and then it would all be over. No more pain, no more worries. . .no more brothers.

He was going to die and that was his fate. His unavoidable fate. He always knew the time would come but he pictured it differently. He expected to be surrounded by his brothers, reliving his memories with a peaceful mind and a grateful heart. A smile on his face as he held his brother's hands. Not alone, in a cold and bitter mindset. Not with the only memories being so full of strife and torment. Ones that reminded him of his stupidity and his weaknesses.

His failures. . .

For once, even if it was the last, shouldn't he make a choice without the constant pressure. Leo yelling at him to get everything fixed, Raph adding the physical threat to go faster just to end with Mikey coming up with the correct decision and be the one to save them all, shouldn't it be his turn to fully decide the next course of action without the added stress?

His time was running out. This was really it. This was the end for him.

Donnie he genius

Donatello the ninja

Donnie the failure

Donnie, the forsaken.

He raised his head. Through the darkness, just barely, he could see a twinge of light. Was it his brothers? Did it mean he should hold out?

He lowered his head, meeting a full force darkness. At least in darkness there was no one there to hurt him. He could be alone but also safe. He wouldn't face their criticism, they're torturous voices as they yelled at him over and over again.

Thirty seconds

This was it. Donnie looked back at the lightness again. A part of him felt the need to reach up but the chains forbade it. They reminded him of the weight he was feeling emotionally and mentally. They reminded him that even if he wanted to return to the light that the process would be next to the hardest thing he's ever faced.

Donnie tensed his body. Tears escaped his eyes, drifting away with water. He shuddered once more.

Let go, Donatello. . . A voice called out, in a familiar, comforting tone.

With one final thought, Donatello released his breath before the timer reached its end.

He didn't notice water filling his lungs. His body moved further and further away from the light, the darkness enveloping him completely. He let himself succumb to the silence. He succumbed to the depths of the water.

Donatello was drowning. . .

Chapter Text

Water splashed from the tank down to the floor, reaching her ankles and soaking her shoes, but she didn't mind. The only thing she cared about was the recipient in the tank. Soldiers flooded passed her as they dived into the small space, undoing the manacles that were keeping the victim captive. Loud shouts and commands shook the room but she couldn't seem to flinch, her body wouldn't let her. Her mind was on pause as a figure was pulled from the depths of the water. She saw medics rush to the still turtle. He limped in their grips, jerking from the CPR. Even with all the chaos around her, Katsumi couldn't help but stand idly still.

She still couldn't believe that it worked. That after these past two months that Donatello truly wanted to give up. Her first impression of the mutant had led her to believe that his loyalty to his family was stronger than anything, yet here he was, struggling to come back to the world of the living, just ready to give up on everything in his life.

She never truly believed that Osamu's plan would work after all this time. She figured that Donnie would get used to it or just learn how to ignore that constant stress he was put through. During the times where Katsumi took care of him she couldn't help but feel sympathetic but she didn't think that it would truly lead to this. That Osamu would let it lead to this.

The tortuous memories were bad enough. The physical abuse and shocks were even worse, but this? Forcing Donatello to choose whether to hold out to the end or stop his life right before was something Katsumi never expected. Such lengths for what started out as a simple experiment wasn't honorable. It wasn't what she signed up for. She could see that with each passing day, that with each painful moment Donatello experienced, Osamu grew more and more corrupt. She tried to lighten his spirits, try to turn his head around so he could look in the mirror to see what he was becoming but Osamu never cared for it.

There were moments where she could see the true side of the friend she had come to love but those times were fading. As his goal became more reachable, so did his ignorance.

Katsumi shook her head. If Osamu really did reach his desired goal from the breaking portion then he would immediately go into his next phase. Luckily it didn't include physically harming Donatello but otherwise, it still wasn't going to be the easiest.

Osamu had been preparing, during the weeks of the breaking, for this moment. Figuring out what methods of manipulation would best work for Donatello's complex mind. In simple terms, his goal was to now make Donatello as comfortable as possible. Give him the best of the best treatment. Tend to his emotional needs, his physical wounds, and treat anything complicated he could feel towards his brothers. It was a phase that no one knew how it was going to go.

On one hand, Donatello could be distracted enough to let all the manipulation tactics slip by unnoticed or he could be too perceptive and be able to see past all the lies.

Katsumi felt foolish. They shouldn't be resorting to using dishonest tactics. They should be showing genuine and honorable emotions towards him. At least that had been the plan in the beginning. Osamu had told her, promised her, that he was going to help Donatello out of the goodness of his heart and not for selfish reasons. If Donatello was to help them, then so be it, but that wasn't the first goal. She was fine with taking a little bit of time to help the teen out but not two months and most likely longer. She wasn't okay with seeing the turtle's life leave his eyes as he chose to let go.

Even now, as she gazed at her friend, she could practically see the greed seep from him. He held no actual concern for Donatello's well being. With his arms crossed, all he showed was his usual arrogant expression. She sighed, why did her friend feel the need to do this? Was it all just a ploy to become the most powerful and take revenge on those who were most likely on constant suffering from the loss of their brother?

To Katsumi, it seemed that with every move Osamu made, he became more like the man he had hated for the majority of his life. . .

Her head snapped from the vicious coughing fit that had broken out. She looked over to the medics and had found that Donatello had been successfully revived. She breathed in relief, moving slowly towards the coughing turtle. Osamu's arm halted her though. She questioned his gesture, but all she got was a hushed reply. Osamu had made a motion to one of the medics and as quickly as Donatello had been awake, he was brought back into the comforts of slumber. She noticed that the medic had pulled out a syringe, it's contents empty.

"A tranq? Is that really necessary?" She interrogated, crossing her arms tightly.

"For now, yes. Just until we can get him all settled in his new chamber." He answered softly, keeping his arm firmly in front of Katsumi.

"You sure he still won't freak out from being in a nice looking room after being stuck in a disgusting cell for weeks?" She tried not to roll her eyes.

"Oh I'm sure."

"You seem too confide-"

"Because you'll be there when he wakes." He interrupted.

"Oh?" She raised her eyebrow.

"He no doubt identifies your presence as a comforting one. Seeing you there in an unfamiliar location will bring some form of relaxant to his anxieties."

"So you really think this will really work? That at the end of this next phase he's going to switch his loyalties?" She asked, her fingers nervously pulling at her sleeves.

"Right now, Donatello's mental state is broken, so broken that he was willing to take his own life. His fiery hope for his brother's arrival is gone. As far as I know, his brothers coming is the last thing he wants. From what I saw, he has truly lost faith in them and only believes that they only want him for his skills.

"Now, from that data, we now have to prove to him that that is not our goal. We have to make ourselves appeal to him more, drive him closer to us and further away from his brothers. Which is what this next step aims to achieve." Osamu stated.

Katsumi nodded reluctantly. She knew he was right. At this point Donatello was at his breaking point. He has no one to turn to for safety or love. He may still love his brothers that doesn't mean he trusts them in the slightest. He could even still be suffering from the nightmares he's been having the last few weeks. If he did believe that his brothers only saw a repairman out of him, then Osamu was right. All they had to do was appeal to him more, gain his trust. Let him feel secure in this new environment on his own. That's where Katsumi drew her line. That felt enough. Break him away from his family and let him live a better life somewhere else. His brothers would break making them defenseless, boom! Take them down. That was supposed to be the plan, yet Katsumi could practically feel the greed spill from Osamu's presence. He wanted more. And she feared how far he would go until he was satisfied.

"So is that all you want me to do? Wait for him to wake up, say some comforting words to him, and make him feel safe?" Katsumi asked, barely hiding her lingering irritation.

"Do whatever you want, as long as he feels secure. I'll join you shortly once he's a little more calm." He replied.

"How long before you get to your desired goal, you think?" She asked, her eyes following the soldiers as they carried Donatello off into the elevator, most likely bringing him to his 'chamber'.

"Not sure. It could be another month or so to regain his trust and loyalty. It was so strong for his brothers who knows how hard it'll be hard to have the sides switched."

"Speaking of his brothers, what're they up to?" Katsumi asked while her and Osamu made their way out of the room, entering the halls. They were lined with soldiers, each bowing with their presences.

"They're still at their futile search attempts. They've made great strides in the city, I would be impressed if it wasn't so amusing."

"How do you think he'll react to his brothers when he sees them next?" She asked, trying to keep a level head.

"With hope he'll remember the harsh words spoken to him and have no intention of walking home with them. He'll turn to me or you for security and protection from them."

"I see. . ."

They two walked down the halls, finding their own elevator to take. Katsumi sighed to herself as they entered and made their way to their destination. She remembered coming to this building before anything happened. When she believed that this was all happening for the right reasons. The moment she thought that she had made the right decisions in her life. It seemed like it was so long ago, that peaceful night. She remembered the flight from New York. She had been listening to her favorite band as she played poker with the other soldiers, Osamu included, while Donatello was drugged in the back, in a peaceful rest. She could feel those emotions. Innocent with a slight cautiousness and anxiety. She never acted on her unwilling emotions. She had wanted to have full faith in her friend. She had wanted to fully believe in Osamu for the whole way through his plans but the moment Donatello was placed into the tank, it disappeared.

Too see the way his body would tug at the restraints and then slump downward. The way his head lifted up, almost touching the surface before falling hopelessly down. It was enough to make her feel like she was drowning from the overwhelming emotions. She had pleaded with Osamu to let him out, ending it before Donatello could make the choice as the turtle's time was running out. She wasn't as smart as her friend, and not nearly as Donatello, but even she knew that his time would be significantly lower than the usual capacity.

But Osamu had ignored her pleas. He only offered simple responses, saying that everything would be okay, that the chances of Donatello surviving were greater than him dying. That the only way Donatello would die would be if he held out to the very end.

It didn't sit right with her. She didn't like that Osamu held Donnie's life in the palm of his hand.

Still. . .she couldn't bring herself to leave the clan or confront Osamu, at least not yet. Not when Donnie's life was still in Omsau's hand. As much as she didn't want to admit it, Donatello had grown onto her, in a friendly way. She only had a small conversation with him but it was enough for her to see his gentle heart. Even the other times where he simply talked to her. During the moments where he wasn't forced to see the hurtful memories or stuck in the dark silence, she would treat his wounds or provide him with small comforts.

He would often cry and not say much but sometimes he would inform her of interesting facts, his past, or anything that was on his mind. She could never respond, due to Osamu's explicit orders, but his ramble never failed to make her smile.

Unexpectedly. . .she really was starting to care for him in the way Osamu was going to falsely feel. Leading to why she couldn't confront her friend. On one end, she cared for Donatello and his health but on the other, she had known Osamu for most of her life. He was her closest friend. They had helped each other out during difficult times in their lives. She had promised her loyalty to his clan and he had promised that he wouldn't betray and leave her as well. She. . .she was at a loss.

The elevator pinged, opening its door to one of the upper levels of the facility. The sun had just begun to rise, signaling the end of a horrific night. They still had to be watchful and make sure that Donatello did not see any of their surroundings. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that they were still located in Japan and no longer in the busy city of New York.

Katsumi walked over to the halls where she knew Donatello's room was located, parting ways with Osamu as he exited to a different hall. Her footstep was steady but not as firm as they usually were. Her anxiety felt it was through the roof as she came upon her destination, standing in front of the designated doors.

Two soldiers were stationed there, each holding guns with powerful tranq darts if said occupant was to escape. They also had their trained weapons if the darts either failed to work or if Donatello was able to continue fighting before the effects took place.

By the door was a small area that held a key code, retina scan, and a fingerprint access lock. Osamu had stated to her in the beginning that he only wanted certain people seeing Donnie after his breaking period. This was to ensure that he would be fed the right information and that no one would say anything to make Donatello doubt everything that's been put into place.

The other protocol was to keep him safe, whether that included from other soldiers or his brothers, it didn't matter. Osamu had ordered for no harm to come to Donatello after the first part of the plan. It was all just another tactic to make Donatello believe that between them and his brothers, they were the better option.

Katsumi gently bowed to the soldiers before completing the necessary tasks on the electronic lock. Everything was accepted and the doors slightly opened, allowing her access. She crept into the room, the door closing and locking itself automatically behind her. She looked behind her and saw a more complex locking mechanism. That was the other thing. For a while, when Osamu was designing the room, he had to figure out a lock that would be impossible for someone like Donatello to open. It was all just a matter of precaution in case Donatello really didn't want to be in their holding any longer. Osamu made it perfectly clear that he didn't want Donnie leaving without his say so.

Katsumi sighed. It was all just another reason to lead her to believe that her friend was truly becoming corrupt. Once again, in the making of this complex idea, Osamu told her that after everything if Donnie wished to reject what they had to offer and either go out on his own or back to his brothers, Osamu would let him. Yet, with all these protocols and precautions in case Donnie was to escape the closure of the chamber, it made it abundantly clear that Osamu had no intention of letting Donnie go whatsoever.

She turned her head back to the room in front of her. It could easily match a suite from the various hotels she'd seen from her past. The room was painted in a beautiful soft ivory with a hint of lilac. It was no doubt the same size as a deluxe suite. The room was carpeted with a soft caramel color. There was a small set of stairs that led to the bed area, and a tile floor that led to a personal bathroom. The bathroom was far from standard. It was accommodated with a large shower, big enough for someone like Donatello, along with a sink and toilet area. Katsumi looked up from the bathroom, heading to the bed area. The headboard looked freshly carved, a shimmery maple. The bed had strong violet covers with matching black covered pillows. An obvious attempt to appeal to Donatello's color palette.

Donatello was fast asleep on the bed. His head was lolled to the side, his mouth slightly ajar, just enough to make his gap visible. With each intake of breath, a soft whistle escaped his mouth as he snored. His body was immersed in the mess of comforters but at least he looked comfortable.

Katsumi smiled. She organized the blankets, smoothing them out and tucking Donatello gently in. She tried not to look at his abused body as she did so but without all his gear, it was next to impossible.

His mid section was badly bruised from the physical beatings. It was more of a deep brown than the usual soft yellow. She believed it was referred to as his plastron. Multiple scratches had been made during the abuse. She only hoped that one day they would all fully heal. Though, the rest of his body wasn't much better.

Both of his arms were in rough shape. His wrists were charred, the skin very vulnerable from the metal cuffs. He had multiple burns that had yet to be treated from her last visit with him and the old ones looked to be close to infection. The injury he received from the first fight had looked like it was reopened as well as the one of his leg. Luckily, any blood that had seeped out of the stitching was long dried but she couldn't be left in the mualed state.

She looked down at his legs and noticed that they also had some new burns she needed to treat, as well as more bruising.

She turned her head, noticing a first aid kit on the nightstand that was positioned right beside the bed. She figured Osamu must've let it there for her to do the exact thing she had wanted to do but with a different reason. While she truly wanted to treat his injuries, Osamu must've figured it would be just another opportunity to make Donatello feel secure.

She grabbed the kit, searching it for the right materials she needed. Satisfied with what she found, she began to resew the injury to Donatello's arm. She wanted to administer a pain killer but she dared not to put more drugs into his already drugged system. Even she knew that doing such a thing could lead to damaging results.

Donatello groaned from the pricks of the needle, seething from the cleaning she had to do. Katsumi continued on, failing to notice his eyes fluttering awake as she finished the injury on his arm, wrapping it up firmly.

"W-what the s-shell. . .?" His voice muttered hoarsely. Katsumi almost jumped from the unexpected and sudden voice but was luckily able to remain calm. Her eyes met with his. She knew what she had to do now that he was awake.

'Just remain calm, show him that you're not the enemy, and don't make him freak out. . .easy peasy. . .'

"It's okay Donnie, don't worry, you're safe." She answered gently, taking a deep breath and backing up slightly to give him more space to breathe.

Donnie's eyes darted from her to the room, trying to remember everything that happened. It seemed he was just in that stupid electric chair, seeing his brothers torment him and now he was in some fancy hotel room, in a bed that was more comfortable than anything he ever felt in his life. The mattress was nothing like the one in his room. That one was firm but this one molded to the way his body was positioned. The silky comforters were something he never thought he'd experience in his life, heck not even April had such comforts, not that he personally knew but-

"Gah!"

Katsumi jumped back as Donatello unexpectedly yelled out in pain, gripping his head with his eyes tightly closed. She sat back down on the bed, slowly reaching her hands for Donatello's shoulder.

"It's okay Donnie, you are safe right here. No one's hurting you." She whispered.

"I-I'm so confused. . .I w-was in. . .underwater and I-I. . ." He spluttered, shaking his head as his own body started to shake.

"Yes, you were underwater. . It was a final test so to speak." She said smoothly, hating that she had to use some of the tactics Osamu taught her when she had to do some of her own manipulation.

"Oh. . ." He answered unsurely, 'w-where am I . .?"

"You're still in the same facility, expect now we feel we can have you in a more comfortable location than before. That is, if your decision from earlier still stands. . ?" She inquired. She didn't want to question him this early, especially after he wanted to die from the multitude of the torture he was enduring.

"My brothers. . .I-'' Donnie cut himself off.

He was back there, back in the lair, in his home. He looked around anxiously.

"Mikey, Leo, Raph? Guys! I'm back, I'm home!" He called out, searching desperately for his brothers. He saw no one. The living room was empty, void of it's usual chaos. There was no one Raph at the punching bags, no Leo in the dojo, no Mikey dancing around in the kitchen.

"Is anyone there. . ?" He asked quietly, meeting no response.

"Oh my gosh, that was epic!" He heard Casey cry out. He sharply turned to the turnstiles, his anxieties disappearing at the sight of all his family members.

Casey and Raph sliding down the bars, Mikey crashing in on his skateboard, April and Karai rolling their eyes yet joining in the fun while Leo laughs from their antics.

"Epic doesn't even begin to describe it! Mikey yelled, high threeing his brothers.

"Guys!" Donnie shouted, trying to get their attention, confused as to why they weren't noticing him.

Forgotten

"Did you see the way I took that guy down? No way will he ever mess with me again!"

"Raph!" Donnie shouted.

Pathetic

"Donnie?"

"They totally weren't expecting my hot moves!"

"Mikey! Don't you see? I'm right here! I'm back after all this-"

"Man, it's been a while since we've had a mission like that."

"Leo. . ?"

Alone

"Donatello!"

"You guys. . .? Don't you see me. . ?

Worthless

He walked down the hallway where he knew Donatello was stationed at. It was right near his own quarters as well as Katsumi's. It was close enough to his top guards and was far from any elevators or stairs. If something was wrong, he would easily be able to figure out the problem and fix it. He knew Katsumi was already in the room, no doubt taking care of Donatello's injuries that were reopened earlier that day.

It was only a matter of time now before the turtle truly accepted his new life, at least Osamu hoped that time would go by quickly. He was anxiously waiting for his return to New York. He was eager to grow his clan but even more eager to see the other turtles. He wanted to see their strength leave their bodies as they witnessed all that will become of their brother. He wanted them to realize that all the time they spent searching was wasted. That they realized too late the damage they had all inflicted on their brother.

Osamu had to admit that he was surprised from the amount of memories he found when he searched through Donatello's mind. There were plenty of moments that he knew he could use to overshadow the good ones and he was right.

Now it all just a matter of figuring out how to secure the final touches and make sure that Donatello was sticking to their side and wouldn't betray them the moment he came into contact with his brothers.

As he walked swiftly through the corridor, he suddenly heard the distant shouts of Katsumi.

He rushed to the chamber to where Donatello was located and confirmed that the shouts were coming from there. He passed the soldiers at the door and completed the necessary scan to allow him access. He pushed the doors open, slamming them hard as he entered the room.

His eyes scanned overly fancy room, quickly landing on Katsumi as she continued to shake Donatello from what looked like a nightmare. The turtle was in a tight ball, tears were rolling down his face, his voice coming in harsh whimpers.

"What's going on?" He questioned, rushing to Kasumi's side.

"I-I don't know! I was asking him some small questions and he just blanked out and started to ramble about his brothers and then he just broke down. I'm trying to calm him down but it's not working!' She yelled, as she continued to try to get through to Donatello.

"Donatello," Osamu said firmly, moving the turtle so he was facing him and not the wall. "Child, can you hear me? You must know that what you are seeing isn't a reality. As Katsumi said, you are safe. No one here wants to hurt you." He said firmly, with a hint of concern.

Donatello's sobs soon turned into quiet hiccups, his grip on his body loosened as he gazed once more around the room he was in, noticing Katsumi's familiar shell rubs and a gentle massaging on his shoulders. He looked from the arms to Osamu's face, becoming silent

It was the first time he really had seen Osamu since the moment where he was in the cell. What was their conversation? Donatello couldn't recall, but he did remember something Osamu had spoken. . .

"It's for your own good."

'For my own good. . .?'

Donatello felt he was slowly starting to understand the phrase that was spoken to him in what felt like ages ago. Maybe Osamu was right. His family showed no signs of coming. No signs that they really cared for him, what more was out there?

Osamu gently smiled as Donatello relaxed into the mattress, letting himself fall into a deep sleep. He could see it in the turtle's eyes, he could see the fear leave his eyes.

Yes, it would only be a matter of time. . .

Chapter Text

“Yes Dad,” April said with a slight groan, “I’ll be home before midnight. Don’t worry.”

“I’m sorry for the curfew sweetie, I just hate the idea of whatever took Donatello to take you too. . '' Mr. O’Neil sighed, his hands fidgeting.

“I know Dad but I can’t give up searching for him. I just. . .It feels like we’re so close to finding him or something that’ll give us a clue to where he is. . .” April sighed much like her father, looking longingly at the window, and into the night sky.

“I get it. . .now go on, I don’t want to keep you waiting. I love you sweetheart.” He said calmly, gently leading April into a hug. She accepted it gladly, giving her father an extra squeeze. “I love you too Dad.” With a final confirmation of approval, April opened the window that led to the fire escape of her apartment and onto the rooftops.

She vaulted over the rooftops with ease, remembering the times when she often struggled. Now the task came to her as if it was second nature. Though, she much rather preferred doing such an action when she was surrounded with family. Her family.

‘Don’t cry April, you can’t keep crying every time you think of. . ‘

April came to a stop, wiping the tears that were already falling off from her face. Every damn time she thought about them, him, a flood of emotions took over her stability.

She reached for her phone, checking the date for what felt like the twentieth time that day, only to place it back in her pocket with a groan. Ten weeks. Today was the tenth week marker of how long it had been since Donatello’s capture. Her friend, her best friend was gone and she didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t as smart as Donnie, heck for all the time she spent in his lab she couldn’t comprehend everything that he’s capable of. Still, she felt like there was something, there just had to be something that she could do instead of the searches that were quickly growing pointless. At this point they all had searched nearly every part of the city and there was no sign, not one single sign as to where Donnie was located and the history of the guy who took him.

April swore, the moment she saw the man who was responsible for Donnie’s capture, she would make him regret everything.

April plopped herself down on the edge of a small apartment complex, similar to her own, gazing up at the stars.

“See that one? There’s the little dipper, or what it’s professionally called, Ursa Minor which means little bear. You can find it because if you look right there you can see the north star or polaris.” Donnie pointed with a smile.

“Wow Donnie, I didn’t know you were into astronomy.” April commented. She couldn’t help but smile at Donnie. She always enjoyed seeing her friend so passionately explain certain sciences, especially if it was something she could easily understand. Though, this was different. They had just been going through a normal patrol when April suggested to take a break to eat. Before Donnie could protest or go into a nerdy ramble she ordered some pizza gyoza and the two just sat together enjoying the peacefulness of the night without interruption. April had looked up at the stars and out of curiosity had asked Donnie if he knew anything. She was a little surprised when he went into great detail about constellations and their histories. She knew he must've studied the subject of space but she was surprised to find that he had such vast knowledge on something as simple as constellation history.

“Yeah,” He nervously giggled, “it’s not something I usually talk about, seeing as it won’t be needed in anything I do.” He answered, playing around with his last gyoza.

“What do you mean by that?” April asked, perplexed by his response.

“Knowledge about constellations isn’t going to help win in any fights, or at least has nothing to do with engineering, mechanics, experiments, programming-” Donnie cut himself off, realizing his rambling, “Anyway, it’s just knowledge that is pretty much useless to what I do. It doesn’t make sense to spend my time on something that won’t aid us in any form of combat.” Donnie answered, finally placing the last gyoza in his mouth before his eyes wondered above them.

“Donnie. . .you know everything that you do doesn’t have to be for the team. You’re allowed to engage in other activities that don’t benefit missions. Look at Mikey and his comic books, or Leo with Space Heroes, and Raph with his night outs with Casey. All of us do our own things that give us a sense of relaxation and joy.” April responded, rubbing Donnie’s shell.

“It’s not like I don’t do anything like that. I like making my own projects in my spare time that don’t have a real purpose for missions.”

“And when was the last time you did that?” April asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Um. . .Let me think. . .”

“See? Donnie, it’s okay to indulge in whatever you want to, not everything has to be for us.” April said with a sigh, knowing that her words weren’t going to reach through.

On one hand, she knew Donnie. She knew him as one of the most selfless, and caring people she had ever met. He was the reason that she was here and not some kraang facility. He was always so willing to help anyone that needed him even if it met forsaking his own health. Donnie was one to never turn anyone down and always kept his promises no matter if the goal was near impossible.

On the other hand, if by the chance he did take her advice and take some more personal time, she knew that wouldn’t last. It would only be a matter of time till someone, whether it be one of his brothers or April herself, would come to Donnie asking him to fix something that was broken, invent something that could be really helpful, or help on their own mini projects. Donnie, being the kind hearted turtle he is, would drop whatever project he was doing to work on the requested item.

“Okay okay, I’ll look into it.” Donnie responded.

“Mhm, sure you will.” She joked, giving Donnie a friendly shove.

“Race you home?” He asked, already making an effort to ready himself.

“You’re on.”

April brought her knees up to her chest as she gazed up at the constellations. That night was one of her favorites and yet she couldn’t help but sob at the memory. She should’ve said something to Leo, the night Donnie was captured. She felt a premotion. She knew something bad was awaiting them. She just knew her senses weren’t lying to her but she assumed all was going to be okay. She knew that Raph and Karai could take care of themselves. Leo and Donnie were both individually strong and a force to be reckoned with when paired. She was perfectly fine being paired up with Casey and Mikey. At least at that she had the chance of keeping an eye on Casey, but. . .the feeling never wore off. It had gotten worse as the night went on.

The moment Mikey had gotten the phone call with Raph she knew she was right, her stomach dropped when Mikey revealed it was Donnie and Leo that needed help.

She should’ve said something. She shared a look with Leo that night. She should’ve acted on it. Maybe then Donnie would still be here. . .

The past couple of months were nothing short of agonizing. She thought that the first week would be easy peasy. They would find Donnie, defeat the new villain, and everything would be okay. But it was nothing like her fantasy.

It was so weird after the first week. She had really thought that they would’ve had Donnie back by that point but every time she turned to his lab to look for him, he was never there. The sound of him welding or his dorky voice never filled the large room. It was quiet and dark. It wasn’t the lab she had come to recognize. It wasn’t the same lab she spent hours upon hours in, gawking at every invention, staying up late as Donnie helped her cram in whatever test she had the next morning.

She kicked herself for how many times she would subconsciously turn to the lab doors, planning on asking Donnie if he had any breakthroughs, only to realize that Donnie was counting on them for the breakthrough.

All the times they needed him and he was there, every time she needed him, he was there. No matter what the situation was, even if it met putting himself at risk, he was always there. And where was April? Sitting on the same rooftop she once was with Donnie in self misery. Donnie was who knew where, experiencing who knew what. All April knew at this point was that it was anything but pleasant.

From their strong connection, April had figured that there had to be some way she could reach him, almost like how she did with the dream beavers incident. One night, she sat in the dojo with a few candles lit. It was one of the rare times where she was alone and she put all of her strength into finding that mental connection with Donnie.

It felt like forever but after a while she finally sensed something. Just a glimpse of him on the astral plane. She reached out for him only to double back in pain. Whether it was pain from straying too far or from experiencing a pain Donnie was feeling, she wasn’t a hundred percent sure, but she felt for certain it was the latter.

Still, the pain lingered for less than a minute but it was incredibly painful nonetheless. It was a pain April had never felt before and just couldn’t bring herself to imagine that Donnie was experiencing it. But if so. . .How long? How often? How was it being caused?

Just like every other question, those ones were left unanswered. She had tried, desperately again to find him but as quick as she felt his presence, the quicker he disappeared.

April's thoughts were interrupted by the buzz of her phone. She looked at the T-phone remorsefully before opening up her messages.

Leo- Hey April, could you stop by the lair? There’s something I need to tell you, thanks.

April sent a quick reply, agreeing to his request. She reluctantly moved from her spot on the roof and readied herself for a trip to the lair. She had planned to stop there anyway and knew she would be able to get back in time for her father’s curfew.

Speaking of the guys. . .April couldn't help but feel immense sympathy for them. Donnie was their brother, he was a part of who they were.

She’d never forget what the first week was like for them. After the loss of Splinter and then the loss of their brother, it was nothing short of heartbreaking to see how the guys were handling everything. Without Splinter, Leo was the head of the house and it was easy to see that the stress was quickly overtaking him. April heard from Mikey that Leo had been suffering nightmares almost every night. Leo was being driven to the point of exhaustion that whenever April saw him for patrol, he looked almost like a replica of Donnie’s insomnia. She could tell that he was deeply struggling with the loss but April could sense that there was more to it than what he was letting on but she never questioned him. It was the same thing she had mistakenly done with Donnie whenever she asked about how he felt. She assumed that when the time came Leo would open up to someone about his inner turmoil.

As with Raph, April was more puzzled with him. It wasn’t surprising that Raph was the first one to go on solo patrols, even going as far as to patrol during daylight hours. April was worried from the amount of times Raph had slept on her couch but similarly to Leo, she knew better than to question it. Raph was never one to talk about his feelings and with his little brother missing, anything could tick him off. Yet, as the nights increased with Raph’s presence in her home, she noticed that he started to look more hopeless than angry.

Then there was Mikey. . .He was the one who seemed at least somewhat okay. . .at the very most he was trying to keep everyone together but April could see how the loss of Donnie was affecting the youngest. Mikey was the one who wanted to go with Donnie on the patrol and during the time he was with Casey and April, she could tell how badly he wanted to just talk to his brother and help him through the mourning process. April would never forget seeing Mikey’s face fall from it’s usual smile to something of pure dread as Raph called. He barely got out the words before he started to run off to where Raph said to go.

It broke April’s heart seeing them this way. Leo was more anxious, Raph was more angry, and Mikey was more quiet and less positive. It made April wish all the more harder that she could do more. . .

April did most of her searching with Casey and Karai during the day, taking the night to either get little sleep or see what she could do back at the lair. Sometimes she got dinner and other times she just sat on the couch waiting for the guys to return home.

Casey often helped her, feeling the same sense of helplessness. April could easily sense that Casey was struggling with the disappearance as well. Donnie and him had grown closer when they were all back at the farmhouse. Ever since the speed demon incident April didn’t have to break up petty fights between them anymore. It was nice to see them get along and bond over something that didn’t have to do with their feelings for her.

Even Karai was doing all she could. Every night she sent out her soldiers to gather information of suspicious activity, go undercover for sketchy organizations, and collect data about transport services in case Donnie really wasn’t anywhere in New York. She would spend the day alongside April doing her own searching. During the times where the girls were alone, they each would indulge each other in their feelings about everything. Though Karai had spent most of her time trying to plot ways on their demise, with the confirmation that Splinter was her father and that the turtles were her brothers, Karai’s emotions were has hard as the rest of them

April stuck the landing on yet another rooftop, taking a moment to breathe. She was right above the sewer lid she usually took to the turtles’ lair. As she climbed down a rusty ladder, she felt a flood of emotions envelope her, nearly making her nauseous.

‘He just wants to talk. . .that’s all. . .it can’t be anything too serious, right?’ She thought to herself.

April scoffed at herself. Who was she kidding? Of course it was going to be something serious. There was nothing to make her think otherwise. She looked around the ally, making sure that no one was watching her. Satisfied with her small scan, she quietly crept into the sewer opening, closing the lid behind her.

April’s steps echoed through the quiet sewer. All that could be heard was the fall of sludge as it transitioned to different tunnels and the tiny squeaks from the rats. She followed the usual path, making sure to check for unwanted followers or sewer workers.

After what felt like forever, she finally made it to the familiar turnstiles of the lair. She entered through the middle one, scanning the surroundings as she did earlier. From what she could sense, Leo was the only one in the lair. There was no clear indication that either Raph or Mikey was with him. As she walked, she took note of the gentle wave of smoke coming from the dojo. Jasmine and Lavender scents filled her nostrils and she knew immediately that Leo was expecting her there.

With bated breath she gently opened the dojo doors, sliding them to the side. The inside was dark, being barely lit by the few scattered candles that were around the room. She gazed around the warm dojo, remembering all the times she would either watch or join the guys in training. How many times did Donnie try to impress her only to fall victim to Raph’s teasing or by his own hand? She admitted that at first it was awkward but as time went on she would see him actually focus on the match instead of her reaction. . . her emotions changed a little. . .but just a little.

Her feelings were often complicated, especially with the fact that she knew there were two guys who sought her affection. She hated being in the love triangle but it all happened so quickly and during the time where she didn’t have her father. There was so much chaos, she didn’t have time to sort through her feelings. It wasn’t until she was up in the farmhouse where she finally had a chance to process some feelings.

She didn’t expect that she would act on them so quickly. . .

April took another deep breath as she spotted Leo’s kneeling form. His head was barely touching his chest, his eyes closed.

She knelt in front of him, deciding it would be best to wait for him to speak first. It was something Splinter had always done, you waited for him to initiate the conversation before you did.

She closed her eyes, taking deep breaths, she followed Leo into a meditation.

“Thanks for coming, April.” Leo said gently, opening his eyes and meeting April’s.

“Of course, Leo. I would do anything for you guys.” She responded softly.

“I wanted to ask. . .have you ever tried reaching Donnie through the astral plane?” He asked suddenly.

April was taken by surprise for a moment but quickly responded. “Actually I’ve been meaning to tell you about that. There was one time. . .a couple weekd ago when I tried as hard as I could to reach him and for a split second I saw him, I reached out to him only to be filled with an indescribable pain. . .it was like my head was on fire with searing pain but it only lasted for a couple seconds. After that. . .I couldn’t feel him again. . “ April admitted. She expected a small scolding from not saying anything sooner. It wasn’t fair to them that she kept something about Donnie secret. She expected Leo to yell at her, to reprimand her for her action but much to her surprise, Leo reacted differently.

He started to cry.

“Leo. . .?”

“He’s fighting. . .he’s still fighting. . .after all t-this time. . .”

“I’m n-not following you Leo. . .?” April inquiered, confused by Leo’s words.

“A-April, I haven’t been honest. I o-only just told Raph and Mikey this two weeks ago. . .Karai found out earlier today by accident and I haven’t told Casey yet but. . .Osamu, the guy that took Donnie, he s-said something to me before I was knocked out. . .

“He t-told me that when we see D-Donnie next, it’ll be because he intended for us to find him. . .and that he wouldn’t be the same. That D-Donnie would be on his side.” He said through his tears, trying to keep his composure as April gasped.

No. . .it couldn’t be. . .how could someone do that to Donnie? Her Donnie. . .her best friend. Leo’s previous words suddenly made sense. If Donnie was in the pain that meant he was fighting whatever force was being thrown at him. . .but that connection was weeks ago. Was he still fighting? April mentally groaned as once again she was filled with questions that would no doubt be left unanswered until Donatello was found.

“Leo. . .”

“I know, I know. . .I’m. . .I’m scared, April. The guys and I, we made up and promised that we would all stick together to find Donnie but determination can only last so long. Even if it’s only been a couple weeks, everyday just seems as hopeless as the last. What if we never see him again? What if all this time we’ve been avoiding the fact that two members of our family are permanently gone from this life?” Leo asked desperately, slamming his fists down on the mat. “I hate feeling so useless. I hate that we need Donnie to figure out how to save Donnie. Why can’t for the one time he needs us we can’t be there for him?”

April was at a loss for words. Leo was right.

Ever since she met Donnie he never failed to help her whenever she needed it. It was a quality that she often took for granted but was nonetheless grateful for. She knew one day that the reliance she had would come back to bite her in the butt but why did it have to be so serious?

April leaned her head back. With Donnie gone it felt like there was a part of her missing. A part of her she didn’t know even existed until she met him. She just couldn’t. . .

She didn’t know her exact feelings, their life just never gave them a chance to breathe and relax, but one thing was clear to her. . .there was something there. Even if it was just a small connection. . .there was just something that drew her to Donnie in a way that Casey didn’t. Whether it was his dorky exterior or his amazing personality or his huge list of capabilities, she didn’t know but from what happened at the farmhouse. . .she couldn’t deny that there was something there.

“Leo, I’m not mad, seriously. In all actuality it makes me want to look even harder. . .I hate to know that Donnie’s suffering is being caused by him not wanting to succumb to influence.” She responded, rubbing his shoulder.

“I know. . .Mikey and Raph are out searching. . .but I don’t know anymore. If we haven’t found him now, will we ever? Will he be the same?”

“I wish I knew, Leo. . .but we both know Donnie. He’s a strong fighter inside and out. Not to mention, he’s extremely loyal. This Osamu guy, he’ll have to do a lot to make Donnie switch sides. We’ll find him. I know it. I just know it. . .”

April took a seat next to Leo, giving him a comforting hug as he continued to cry. She couldn’t help but join him with a few tears herself.

“Hey dorks,” Raph said, opening the doors, “we got some food” He stated,
leaving the door open as he left.

“We should go join them. . .” Leo said, getting up from his knees.

“We should. . .and Leo?”

“Yeah?” He asked, turning his head back towards her.

“Don’t ever be hesitant to tell me how you feel, okay? I’m always here to help.”

“Thanks, April.”

‘If only I could’ve helped Donnie. . .’ April sighed as she and Leo exited the dojo.

Journal entry 1:

Katsumi said it would be a good idea to keep a journal, as a way to fix out my complicated emotions. I’ve kept them before but I guess those were more for research purposes. Anyway, I know she means well and if she says it’ll work then I guess it’ll work.

So it’s been a couple weeks since my transfer to my new chamber as Osamu calls it. I still don’t know how I exactly feel but it’s weird. I thought that at first I would hate it and want to return to my home. Like the first night, I don’t know if I ever felt so homesick. . .I almost told Katsumi. . .I feel safer talking to her about my feelings. . .then as the night went on I had another nightmare. I keep having nightmares. They’re almost the same every night. Constant voices of my brothers telling me of their hatred, their disgust in my failures. It’s too much to bear. I can’t go home. . .not when that could possibly be awaiting me. Even if it isn’t. Katsumi said it’s been two and a half months and there’s been no sign of them. I trust Katsumi. . .if there’s been no sign of them. . .do they even want me?

Osamu wants to start training. He said I can stick to the bo if I want to. . .I think I will. . .

He apologized again for what he did to me but I’m beginning to understand. . .He simply wanted to show me the reality I kept avoiding. He’s right. . .Leo sees me as a disappointment, Raph sees me as a wimp, and Mikey doesn’t need me. None of them need me. April, Casey, and Karai. . .they don’t care.
I wish Splinter was here, he could help. . .at least Katsumi's here. . .she’s nice. She said if I ever want to go back to the lair she’ll let me but I’m not sure. . .I thought my brothers loved me, I thought death was the best option, everything I think keeps changing so maybe my first impressions of this place are wrong too. . .I think I’ll keep trying it. . .see what it’s like. . .

Chapter Text

Journal Entry 3: I really got into training today. My body is stiff and my muscles seem nonexistent. All I really do are basic stretches and simple katas. Osamu keeps encouraging me, Katsumi guides me.

Journal Entry 7: I had another nightmare. Despite the comforts of the bed, they do nothing to ease my troubled mind. This one was about Raph again, those are the most frequent. Maybe it's because out of all of them, Raph was never afraid to speak the truth.

Journal Entry 9: With each day, I can feel myself cling to this place. It's safe, not exactly home, but safe.

Journal Entry 13: Katsumi says Osamu wants to show me something today. My earlier conflicting thoughts of Osamu have changed. He's changed. It looks like he no longer wishes to harm me, yet Katsumi keeps a close eye on him. I fear something's going on between them but I hope not. I can't take anymore fighting. . . .I wonder what Osamu wants to show me.

He led him down a hall Donnie had yet to see. The walls were coated in a fine cloth, shining like little diamonds. Much like everywhere else he'd been to, these corridors had no windows. Not even a little opening. It'd been months since he saw the beautiful, warm sun. Since he felt it's rays coat his body. Katsumi says he'll see it soon, Osamu has yet to comment. Donnie missed seeing the world, specifically his world, New York. The absent hustle and bustle of the city had made quiet nights all the more impossible to get through. If the nightmares weren't enough, surely the uneasy quiet was

His head naturally fell, focusing on his bare feet as they clumped loudly on the cold floors. He could see the markings that his previous wrappings left. The first time he noticed that, he was completely naked, wearing none of his normal gear with the exception of his mask. He felt strange. It was a feeling he had rarely felt in his life.

He made a small query to Katsumi about the situation. She had responded softly, informing him that she had taken everything when she was treating his wounds, afterwards she had politely asked if he'd wish to have any of it back. Donnie was silent. He didn't know. He felt as if he didn't deserve the gear he had grown up with. It was something that both he and his brothers had worn. They each had matching wrappings, with their own designated shade. Donnie groaned. The last thing he wanted was to be reminded of them.

"Try harder!"

"Weak."

"Pathetic loser."

"Failure."

"Who needs you?"

"Helpless."

"Creep."

"Forsaken"

His time spent with Osamu was giving him time to process just everything he was hearing from his brothers' voices. They're once kind tones were turned harsh and condescending. They showed little to no remorse for the bitter context and the damage they were causing his already broken heart. Donnie's mind worked against him, poisoning the words, making them sharper, striking them harder. They had become louder in his nightmares. Every time he thought of his brothers, his friends, those words were back along with a stinging pain. His muscles would tighten, his jaw clenched, his body shook in what felt like a never ending shaking session. Luckily, someone was usually there to help him during these moments, like Katsumi and Osamu.

They protected him during the nightmares. They eased his mind and helped him through everything.

But, when Donnie was alone, no one was there to comfort him. All he had was himself to hug during the tremors. When he would forcefully watch his brothers abandon him, blaming him for the failures of their life. Some nights, Donnie even saw his father turn the other way. It only added to his suffering.

He felt vulnerable, fragile. He didn't want to seem like a scared little child that had no idea where he was to go but that was exactly how he felt. He remembered the burning desire to be back with his family before breaking but it wouldn't be the same. His fears would take over any sense of comfort he wished to achieve, that is if everything he was hearing was a lie. If not, how could he go back knowing he was only someone to ridicule? When all he was seen as a useless repairman that could stuff his emotions down, rendering him incapable of feeling anything at all?

No. . .if he went back there, there was no telling what he would be subjected to. There was no clear evidence that he would be welcomed back with open hearts. Not when Splinter was gone. Not when they hadn't even attempted a break in.

'Not when they left me to drown. . .'

But that left only two other options. Either live the rest of life on his own or stay with the people he had begun to know.

Donnie knew what Osamu had done. Osamu had been the one to take him away from his family, he had been the one to subject him to the torture. The reliving memories, the physical wounds, the pool of darkness- as Donnie referred it to. It was true, Osamu had made that clear. He also had stated in the beginning that he was doing all of this to benefit Donnie.

Donnie didn't see it before, but now. . .he felt he understood.

Still, Donnie wasn't a hundred percent sure Osamu was the right choice. The truth was he did feel a sense of safety whenever Osamu was around, but he wasn't sure if the man would fall into the same category that his family did. The only thing that really kept Donnie keen on staying with the clan was Katsumi. She was the only one he knew he could trust. She had done nothing but care for him and treat him with a kindness he hadn't felt in a while. In a way, she reminded him of April. . .Though Katsumi had yet to molecularly scatter him from the influence of a deranged aeon.

Katsumi was the one he spent most of his time with. She treated his injuries and would entertain him with stories of her past. She would reveal her deepest dreams and passions she longed to pursue. She hardly spoke of the circumstances Donnie was in and he liked it. It made him feel just a bit normal.

She was never harsh towards him. She never yelled at him or pressured him into choices he wasn't sure he wanted to make. She calmed him through his little episodes and would soothe him with a small lullaby that she had first sung during his time in the torture chair.

She really was the main reason he had stuck with Osamu. Despite his complex feelings towards the individual, the fact that Katsumi trusted him enough, let Donnie feel some sense of peace with Osamu's presence.

Though Katsumi made him feel as comfortable as possible, she couldn't shield him from the events of what was sure to happen tonight.

Donnie knew there would be a time where he would be questioned on his ultimate decision. Whether he was willing to stay or return back to his ho-lair. He just knew that day would come, but he hated that it had happened so soon. True, he had been staying with them for just over a month, but even in that time span he still wasn't sure of a decision. It was like back in the pool, he didn't know if the choice he had made was right but he had little time to think otherwise.

Even as he looked back up, his eyes facing Osamu's back he could do nothing but begin to sweat with anxiety. Katsumi warned him the previous night of what was to happen, she told him she couldn't prevent it. That a decision just had to be made.

They two arrived at large, heavy wooden doors. Two men were posted at said doors. They gently bowed to Osamu and opened the doors with little ease. Donnie gulped, following Osamu into the room.

He gasped.

He barely noticed the other walls For all he could tell they were bare, his eyes falling onto the wall opposite of the doors. It wasn't a standard wall, it was a huge thick piece of glass. Forgetting everything, he rushed to the window, his hands landing on the cool glass as he pushed himself against it. His breath kissed the window, creating a fog that he didn't notice. He didn't see his reflection. Only the beautiful surrounding landscape. The sun was beginning to set, lighting the sky with a range of beautiful red and orange colors as the blue began to darken. Thin clouds looked as if they were colored pink, scattered around the night sky. He could begin to see the twinkle of small stars from the darkened sky. How he missed seeing something as breathtaking as a sunset.

"Enjoying yourself?" Osamu asked, walking slowly up to where Donnie was.

"It f-fees like forever since I've seen the outside world. . ."

"Yes, I know. For that I apologize. I wanted to wait for the perfect moment for you to see the gorgeous, New York sun."

Donatello continued to gaze, admiring the beauty as well as stalling for time's sake.

"I assume you know why I brought you here, Donatello." Osamu said, breaking the silence, placing a hand on Donnie's shoulder.

"Yes." Donnie replied, looking down at the various trees that coated the grassland. "You want to know if after everything, I'm willing to stay or if I wish to go back to my brothers." Donnie shifted on his feet. The cold was starting to get to him as well as his unwillingness for the conversation. He brought his hands around his midsection, hugging himself as he usually did when he felt uncomfortable.

"Forgive me for making you feel unsettled Donatello. Believe me that's the last thing I want to do, but yes. You are correct." Osamu said, noticing Donnie's distress. He wanted to be gentle but the need for answers was becoming too much. Osamu needed to know if all the work was worth it or a complete failure. He couldn't continue to coddle Donatello if the turtle truly wanted to be with his disgusting family.

"I understand. . ." Donnie replied softly.

"Donatello, before I get into all the stress and anxiety, why don't I show you something." Osamu said lightly, directing Donnie to his right. Donnie looked up at the wall, noticing what Osamu had been mentioning.

On the wall hung several different types of armor, gear, equipment, and anything that a ninja was usually seen wearing.

Donnie had begun his training again under Osamu. It was never more than a few practice sessions with hand to hand combat and some sparring moments. Though Osamu had asked him if he wished to start training with his bo. Donnie was unsure but ultimately agreed to it. He was given something similar, it was more of a naginta than a bo. It had a longer blade that took up more of the weapon but was familiar enough to Donnie that he could complete simple katas.

Donnie looked back up at the racks. It was a little overwhelming to see all the gear and he still wasn't sure the exact purpose of it all, but he was slightly intrigued.

Osamu came to his side, pulling down a belt that was similar to his last one. It was a black leather and lacked the golden buckle on his previous brown one. It had the symbol of the Bushi Clan on the lower strap and looked big enough for Donatello. He got a good look of the back, noticing the holster. Osamu placed the belt in his hands, Donnie assumed so he could try it on.

He was unsure at first. He never really wore anything that wasn't his normal attire, but he could give it a try. Maybe there was a point to all of this. Maybe this was Osamu's way of showing his care.

Sticking his tongue to the side, Donnie carefully positioned the belt over his head, helping it find its way around his bulky body. After a little bit, the belt found its place and sat snug on his body. He looked at Osamu questioningly, wondering why exactly he was given the belt.

Osamu said nothing, handing him a pair of what looked to be long socks. It was a thin, black fabric that looked wide enough for his feet. He took them, leaning on the wall as he slid her leg through one piece of fabric. It was sturdier than it looked and only gave Donnie a little bit of trouble as he slid it up his leg, ending just about waist level. He repeated the motion with his other leg. The fabric fit nicely. It left an opening for his toes and wasn't cutting off any circulation.

"May I ask what this is all about?" Donnie asked.

"It's nothing more than me gifting you with some new gear. If you do choose your brothers I don't want you going home without some form of protection." He stated, picking out something of the same fabric, handing it to Donnie.

Donnie accepted the item, seeing that it was a matching set of gloves. He let one hang on his back as he put his right arm through one first. The fabric was the same material, smoothly sliding over his arm. His hand pooped out on the other end, letting him know they were a type of fingerless gloves. Where it rested on his hand, he noticed a bumpy texture. He pulled his hand into a fist, the bumpy texture moving over his knuckles. Leading him to assume it was an added pressure when delivering a punch.

Silently, Osamu handed him metal knee and elbow pads. They looked to be made from a fine material, shimmering in the sunlight. Donnie cautiously took them, once again surprised by the easy and comfortable fit.

"I think just one more thing oughta do it," Osamu muttered.

Osamu pulled off a set of shoulder plates connected by the neck. They shined like the other pieces of armor, causing Donnie to lose his focus as he stared into them. Osamu smiled.

Osamu came in front of him, setting the plates gently and resting them on Donnie's shoulders. It felt a little heavy, Donnie shifted from the weight, yet, as Osamu locked them into place, Donnie felt an odd comfort.

"Donatello, please, do not let yourself be overcome by fear, child. All I ask is the confirmation of where your loyalties lie. Whether they remain with your family or if you wish to start anew if Katsumi and I."

Donnie sighed, his fingers fidgeting, playing with his mask tails. Osamu noticed, turning his back, walking to the door in the room. Donnie didn't see exactly what he was doing, opting to keep his head lowered.

Osamu returned. He walked silently to where Donnie was. He made a motion for Donnie's hand, and with a little reluctance, he did so.

In his palm, a small piece of black fabric was placed. It took him a couple seconds to realize what exactly it was.

A bandana.

Donnie studied his purple mask as it danced through his fingers. It was the only thing that had yet to be removed. Not even Katsumi had made any comments about removing it. It was the last part of his identity that connected him back to his family. It symbolized who they were and their connection as brothers. Their masks were special. It was who they were. Or, in Donnie's case,

Who he used to be. . .

"I-I d-don't know. . .After all this time. . .h-how can I b-betray my f-family, my c-clan?" Donnie sniffed, hundreds of thoughts swirling through his head.

"Oh Donatello, is it really betrayal when they've already betrayed you?"

Donnie looked up once again at Osamu, his thoughts becoming clear.

With a deep breath, his hand came up behind the mask, releasing the knot. His mask fell, almost in slow motion, onto the floor. With his other hand, he brought up the black fabric. It fit over his head, perfectly fitting into place on his face. His hands, not shaking anymore, firmly tied the ends together with a final pull of the tightly knit knot.

Osamu came behind him, turning Donnie towards a mirror hanging from the opposite wall.

The reflection proved what had happened.

Osamu smiled.

The transformation had begun. . .

Chapter Text

"UGH!" Karai shouted, pulling out her tanto blade she stabbed any object that was near out of sheer frustration. She was never usually so rash. She knew how to control her anger and settle her internal dilemmas with meditation techniques that were taught to her. Though, it was as if she had no memory of them. The fire inside of her was fuming and she had to let out the overwhelming feeling of anger.

Another mission, another failure.

She should've expected it. She should've known that the chances of success were slim to none, but no. She trusted her emotions more than her intuition. An act that she had begun to do more often than she cared to admit. How many failures did that make now? How many more failures would there be until some glimpse of success?

She was getting sick of all the dead ends. All the pointless leads she followed. Though, Karai never had the strength to back down from any small means of a clue. No matter how stupid, she could never turn the idea away. Much like tonight. . .

It was just one person that mentioned him to her soldier, that was it. Did she still follow through with it? Of course. The chances of finding him were unbelievably rare but she couldn't give up.

Surprise, surprise. . .like everything else, it was a lie.

Why would he be there? Why did she expect him to be at some petty warehouse run by new, sketchy gang members. She felt like an idiot. A complete and utter idiot. She used up valuable resources and wasted her already tight schedule following a shallow lead. Not even that. It was a small rumor going around the dark alleyways.

At this point anyone who knew her brothers knew that Donatello was missing. With his absence during patrols, the turtles' constant searching, and how little his name was spoken, a moron could put the pieces together and use it to their advantage.

Karai didn't know how often the guys spent hunting down possible suspects. It had mainly been her task with her soldiers since she had past experiences with hunting down and finding people. But, with the amount of time she kept losing, she was grateful it was just her doing the job.

She didn't want to think about how her family would be acting if they had decided to help her or do her job. It was enough for her to want to quit and sink into the pits of failure, but for them? It would be even worse.

Still. . .Karai was running out of leads, fast. The more and more she thought about it, the more she realized the answer she didn't care to admit, and tonight. . .helped to prove it.

She threw her tanto halfway across the room, not caring about the nearby soldiers. She was too frustrated. She spent most of her days, her weeks, following dead leads and conducting pointless interrogations. She had to face the facts.

Donatello was not in New York.

There was no way. With how many soldiers she sent out daily and with how many came back reporting nothing, there was no way he could be. With her ever growing empty handed searches, it was beginning to be the only option.

Karai hoped against the facts but she knew that her soldiers were getting tired, and her resources were running low. The chances that Donnie was close was nearly impossible. She couldn't keep up the searches forever, heck, she even was beginning to grow tired. It wasn't for the lack of love or care, she truly saw Donatello as her own kin. No, it was more of the lack of luck. Donnie could be anywhere in the country, or even the world. For Karai, the only option was to sit and wait for the enemy to make a move.

Leo had mentioned that there was the chance they would see Donnie again, he didn't know how long, but there was a chance. The best thing for them to do, in Karai's opinion, was to get rest and build up their strength. Everyone was exhausted and on low energy from the lack of success. If this Osamu was going to come back, they needed to be ready. He obviously had a great number of ninjas and was slick enough to run off somewhere without anyone really noticing.

Osamu was dangerous. He had to know that they were all tiring themselves out, becoming more depressed, and losing determination with each passing day. He could easily come back and defeat them all once again.

But how could Karai tell them? They were her family. Donatello was her family. If she even uttered the words that he wasn't anywhere near, they would all be crushed, so much more than they already were. They wouldn't accept her news and would continue searching for their brother. It was what they did. In their eyes, it was all they could do. Keep searching because that's what Donnie would do.

Karai trudged up the stairs leading to the Shredder's old throne. She slumped into it, her head resting on one of the arm chairs while her legs dangled off the other one.

The irony of the situation was that if Donnie was there, they would either have no trouble finding where Osamu was or either have little difficulty. Karai was like everyone else. She didn't know how to hack into security systems, more or less how to actually hack. Sure, she was a logical thinker but that wasn't enough. No matter what moves she made on the board, Osamu seemed two steps ahead. She hadn't even met the man in person and she felt cornered. There was practically nowhere else in the city to search for and none of her resources could find any information on the guy. She was left like a chicken without its head while Osamu was most likely resting comfortably in the chaos he was controlling.

Karai gazed up at the sky from her angle. It would be daylight in a couple of hours, signaling April and Casey's shift.

"Where are you, Donatello?" She whispered to herself. Her mind drifted back to the past years.

Her first encounter with the turtles had been with Leo, gosh he was so naive, Karai recollected, laughing to herself. From her small sparring sessions, she could see that Leo took it easy but was still a strong fighter. She found great satisfaction in toying with him and Raphael when he came into the picture. Though, she never said anything, it was a relief to hang out than rather deal with Shredder's stupid vendetta.

As with Donnie and Mikey, she didn't meet them until later and by that moment, she knew that they had no clue who she was and her connection with their brothers. She really didn't think much of the youngest brothers. Well, that was until she really figured them out.

Michelangelo was never one to underestimate. Karai could never see his moves coming, always figured that targeting Leo was the best option given their history and how predictable he could be.

As for Donatello, she felt a little intimidated by his smarts. It was clear that he was more intelligent than Stockman but with his crush on April, his brains could easily be overpowered with blind emotion.

Karai remembered, back when she had been under Shredder's stupid brain worm, Shredder wanted her to terminate the turtles once and for all. Lure them into hellish traps to bring Splinter crawling out of the hidden lair in another attempt to end his life. Karari was given the responsibility of how everything would be set up, what kind of trap each turtle would be put in and how they would be captured. She was given a day to prepare and consult with Shredder's leading henchmen.

Immediately, Sever had come to her, asking if he could have the honor in choosing the trap for Raphael. She had accepted his request, knowing that Sever hated Raphael's guts enough to choose something fitting. She already had ideas for Leonardo. Michelangelo wouldn't be difficult, something simple that would make all his older brothers infuriated. For Donatello. . .Karai wasn't sure. Something complex, no doubt. Karai knew that Donatello would be the one to figure out a way for them all to escape. She needed to pick something, something where he wouldn't be able to escape, something where, not even his brothers could free him.

She knew Shredder would want her to make Leonardo the one to perish, and she could try something but she wasn't done playing with him yet. The game they were engulfed in was too fun and Karai wasn't ready to claim her victory. Sever was sure to do something comedic and enjoyable for him to watch. Again with Michelangelo, something simple but nonetheless satisfying.

Still, if Donatello figured out how to free them all, then all of this planning would be wasted. Stockman wasn't as smart, any precautions that he was to make would surely be hacked or decoded by the brains. Plus, with Donatello gone, he would no longer be a thorn in her side. She could continue toying with Leonardo, control whatever she was to do with the baby brother, and terminate what was left of Raphael. Perfect.

As for the capturing portion, she couldn't lure them in all at once. She needed to do what she did back with her venom, lure them in one at time. They had strength in numbers, lower the numbers, lower the strength. But that still left the question of who to do first. She didn't want to involve O'neil and Jones, at least not yet. Her goal was fixated just on the turtles, so one of the brothers.

'Why not start with the brains?'

It was a small idea but quickly made sense. If she started with any of the other turtles, there was the chance that at that point Donatello would be able to figure out the beginning's of the trap and warn the others. Her plan would be ruined just as it started. Better yet, she could even use O'neil's voice to lure him away from his brothers. He was always so quick to help her that he would forget all logic. Why not use that to her advantage?

With Donatello trapped she wouldn't have to worry about the others picking up the pattern she would put into place. She would be able to go through the rest of her plan with ease. She could use Donatello to target Michelangelo and so on.

Within the next day, she had all her traps planned out to perfection.

Each would be placed in their own rooms, set with their own trap. Leonardo had been placed in a room that was above Raphael's and beside Donatello's. With his trap, he would be faced with a hundred katana blades, each spinning at a deadly rate. Without his own swords, Leo would have a little chance of escape. The spinning blades would lower until they reached the floor of the room, leaving Leo fatally wounded, if not dead. Yet, there was a small chance that he could make it out unscarrthed. Karai really wasn't done playing around with him and was slightly hoping that he would make it out alive.

Raphael, per Sever's wishes, was placed in a room where Raphael would be exposed to dangerously hot temperatures. It wasn't much but it would leave the strongest member the weakest if an escape was made. He would be easy to take down and possibly recaptured if Leo figured out how to save his brother.

Donatello was placed in a deadly game where if he didn't connect colored blocks to their corresponding color, or if he failed to dodge them, he would be hit with an intense electric shock. Further the game went, the further the shocks would increase in voltage. The best part, there was no way for him to escape. By the chance his brothers got to him, they wouldn't be able to release him. Donatello was held into a metal chair by shackles that could be cut but he was also kept in place by a metal helmet that was beaming with wires. If any wires were cut, Donatello would be left fried. So it was either, watch him die slowly, or watch him receive the deadliest shock of all. Whatever the case would be, Karai wouldn't have to care about the turtle anymore.

Finally, Michelangelo would be strapped on his back, forced to face the wrath of mutagen and fall slowly until it reached its body. He would be no doubt reformed, into something that they could use as a measly pet for their clan. It would be perfect. Raphael weakened, Michelangelo deformed, and Donatello dead. All the while Karai may still be able to play with her toy.

But of course, like all of her plans, nothing worked. As she feared, Donatello had figured out how to escape and somewhere, Michelangelo had been the one to free Donatello surprisingly. They all had escaped but in the end, Karai was free of Shredder's grasp.

Karai shifted her body on the throne, taking an upright position from the lack of comfort. She almost successfully killed Donatello and here she was hoping against the odds they could find him. They just had to. She didn't know how long she could see her brothers slowly break.

They already lost Master Splinter from a sick twist of fate, why did history have to repeat itself?

Karai thought back from the first couple of weeks. They were filled with so much energy and hope. Everyone had paused their grieving to focus on Donatello. Everyone had pitched in and figured out ways where they could do all they possibly could. They were leads to follow back then. There was the false knowledge that Donnie was still in the city and not some random place off the east coast. Sure, nightmares Karai was longed used to were fresh, but they just gave her more determination to work harder and smarter. She consulted with Shini and the two had come up with all these ideas and methods to try. Everyone, with the exception of Leo as he was dealing with the news he was given, was ready to find Don.

After that first month, energy was decreasing. Shini was in Japan training new recruits and everyone was getting tired from the late nights and early mornings. Raph was separating himself from his brothers and the rest of them for that matter. Karai didn't even remember seeing him after the month marker. Even Leo was a rare sight to see. He would either be locked away in the dojo or off on his own. Whenever she tried talking to him, he gave her one worded responses and nothing more.

Michelangelo was the one she saw more often. The past couple months, they had been spending a lot more time together. With Raph and Leo off in their world, Karai focused some attention on acting as the big sister Mikey had seen her as. She wanted to do all she could to comfort him and make sure he wasn't carrying the weight of the situation on his shoulders. They spent some nights together, talking about their fears and worries. Mikey often filled the conversation with memoires of Donnie and the others he remembered. He even talked about all the adventures and memories he had of their father, which Karai appreciated greatly.

Though. . .the weeks continued. They were nearing their fourth month with still no sight of Donatello. She didn't know how much more anyone could take. Would it last half a year? Longer. . .?

"Mistress Karai," A soldier announced, bowing respectively at the foot of the steps, "Mr. Jones requests to see your presce-"

"Whassup Karai?" Casey Jones loudly interrupted, welcoming himself into the Foot HQ, strolling through the halls in his usual arrogant fashion. Karai rolled her eyes, dismissing the soldier, she stood from her spot on the throne. As much as Casey's disregard for certain traditions irritated her, she was secretly wishing for some company, especially after tonight's failure.

Unknown to Karai, Casey was the same way. He'd spent the last few weeknights searching on his own and it was beginning to drive him crazy. Don't get him wrong, he wanted to find Donnie as much as the rest of them. Sure, the two immediately got off on the wrong foot since they both had eyes on April, but overtime Casey saw Donnie in a more likeable way. Heck, Casey started to like spending time with the brainiac. It turned out they had more in common than either of them thought. It was just that Casey didn't like doing it alone. April was spending more and more taking care of the guys, making sure they were eating and resting properly. She was also taking more time to meditate, usually with Leo to find Donnie's spirit; whatever that meant. Casey wasn't that good at understanding all the spiritual stuff.

He dared not to ask Raph or even Mikey to join him. The last he heard, they all had a big fight and were now focusing harder than ever to find Don. He didn't want to get in between their searching and definitely didn't want to hinder them in any way.

Leo was completely out of the question. Casey rarely spent any alone time with the leader and sometimes it was rather awkward. Besides, Leo was majorly struggling with night terrors and what Casey hoped, were false visions. So yeah, while the searches continued, Casey didn't know what to do anymore. He felt he couldn't turn to anyone and that he wasn't contributing anything, airgo, why was he here. Karai was the only one he felt he could somewhat talk to. She wasn't as closed up at the guys and was doing her own searching too. Plus, to Casey, right now Karai seemed the easiest to talk and vent to.

"Hey Jones, you good?" Karai asked, descending the stairs to meet Casey's level.

"Eh, as good I can be, you?" Casey shrugged with his hands inside his worn pockets. He kept his gaze away from Karai's eyes, focusing more on old blood splatters and the windows.

"Honestly, I don't know." Karai shrugged back, sitting on the last step. She was all but used to the cold tiling these days. Her elbow rested on her knees, her fist keeping her head up as her eyes drooped down.

Casey snuck a glance in her direction, but his eyes stayed locked on her figure. He didn't remember a time where he saw her in a vulnerable state, emotionally vulnerable that is. Casey bit his lip, he wasn't good at these situations. The previous time he spent with Raph was usually filled with silence. Raph didn't want to talk and Casey was okay with that because he didn't know how to. It was more complicated with April, as she didn't have trouble talking about her feelings, but that's what Donnie did. He was the emotionally strong one with April. Casey could admit that. Don had always been the better one to help April when it came to her feelings. Casey tried, and sometimes could figure out what to do but he just wasn't there yet. He was getting better, thanks to all the time he spent with his emotionally broken friends, but he still felt some discomfort when he was faced with the dreaded tasks. Such as now.

But there was no one else, besides some soldiers that looked just as lost as Casey felt. Casey couldn't call up the guys to help with a problem they were dealing with. Let it never be said that Casey left a damsel in distress; not that he would ever call Karai a damsel. He already got in trouble referring her and April as the 'Kickbutt Babes'

Casey took a deep breath, walking towards Karai and joining her on the same step. It was wide enough that he wasn't directly beside her, so he leaned his back against the adjacent wall, with one leg hanging off the step, the other bent up. From what he knew, it was best to wait and let the other person who was struggling to talk first. He learned it wasn't a good idea to bring up any simple questions like 'Do you want to talk about it?' Such a question could be met with a quick response and nothing would get solved. So Casey waited.

"I thought tonight would be it." Karai responded after a few minutes. Casey almost missed it, his head not so subtly snapped in her direction. It took Casey longer than he cared to admit to process what he said, he even considered asking her to repeat herself, but luckily it didn't come to that.

"It was the usual small lead, but it felt different. I really thought I would find him tonight but I was wrong. . .Like always."

Casey gave a small nod in understanding. For once he felt he could handle the problem but on the other, it was a problem that he found himself in. How often did he integrate random gang members on the whereabouts of his friend or even about the new team of ninjas. How many false leads did he carry for weeks just to realize that he was being duped? Too many that's for sure. This whole thing was driving Casey nuts. Would they ever be able to catch a break? Probably not.

"I'm just. . .I'm so tired of the same routine every day and night. They all start and end the same way, with no change. A-And with everyday, we grow weaker, Donnie strays further, and the enemy grows stronger. I just-I'm just tired of this. I can't take it anymore! I lost both of my parents and now, I might've already lost one of my brothers. I keep losing. . .How can I call myself a Hamato when all I seem to do is damage my family rather than protect them?"

Casey gulped. He should've known the conversation was deeper than he initially thought. It looked as if Karai felt the same that Casey felt towards her. They each felt that they could only talk to each other.

As time ticked, Casey began to sweat. Karai wasn't saying anything else, meaning it was his turn to talk. Any words of comfort he thought of he immediately knew wouldn't work.

"I'm not gonna pretend I know what to say, cause I really don't, but believe it or not I know how that feels. . .I feel like I'm not even close to earning the family name. No matter what I do, it's either dumb or not even close to being helpful. Like what's going on right now. I've been trying to do what you're doing and it hasn't helped in the slightest. . .but I don't think you should sell yourself short.

"I mean, look at what you've done with the foot. You've turned them into an honorable team. And protecting your family, you're not as terrible as you think. Master Splinter. . .it happens. Fate is sick and twisted but the only thing we can do is accept it. It takes time, a lot of time, but it's all we can do. As for Donnie, you're not the only one at fault. I think we're all feeling the weight of his capture.

"But I know when we get him back, you're going to do everything in your power to make sure he'll be okay. I know you're going to do all you can to protect him and make sure nothing happens to the rest of us. That's how you are. And I know it's really hard to feel that way I know, believe me, I've been in this spot before, but I learned how strong you guys are with hope. So yeah. . ."

Casey awaited in baited breath, hoping that he said something right. It at least felt right to him, but that was from years of talking with other people, where they did more of the talking and he did more of the listening.

"Thanks Jones, I appreciated that." Karai said, meeting Casey's eyes with a small smile.

Casey breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that for once he didn't say something stupid.

"So what about you?" She inquired, shortly after.

"Me?"

"You got any pent up emotions you need to spill?"

Casey chuckled, unsure of what to say. Sure, he had some thoughts that made him lie awake at night, but who didn't? Though, he guessed now would be a good time to say anything rather than later.

"Do you think. . .do you think Donnie will be okay?"

Like Karai, the question was a lot deeper than what it seemed. It wasn't just if he would be okay, but rather would he ever be the same? Say that by some miracle they did save him today, would he be just as he was when he was taken? Or would he be completely different? Casey knew that something, even if it was just kidnapping could have lasting effects on some mentally and emotionally. Don was already struggling with his emotions, what if he never fully healed? Then there was the added factor of what was being done to Donnie. Physical abuse? What effects would that have?

He knew he was just spiraling but how could he not? There was just too much he was still trying to prosper and it was taking a toll. He tried to get sleep but his mind was always racing with the unanswered questions. He tried to spend some time with his family but that barely helped. His little sister was often on her own, surrounded with her own group of friends that she had made during Casey's absences. His father wasn't much better. After everything that happened in New York with the Kraang, he was different. Even then, Casey didn't feel like cracking open a couple cold ones would fix the problem.

He just couldn't handle it anymore. He felt he couldn't ask the guys or April the questions, cause they were asking themselves the same thing. Again, only leaving Karai to be his last resort.

"Casey, I-"

"Mistress Karai?" A soldier interrupted, rushing into the main hall with a few pieces of paper, rushing past the various guards.

"Yes?" Karai asked, standing at her feet. Casey followed quickly.

"We found something."

Chapter Text

"We received some information about a private jet coming into the city in about the next hour."

"A jet?" Casey asked, raising his eyebrow in Karai's direction, feeling like he was missing something.

"Is it the same one that left?" Karai asked, ignoring Casey's glance.

"Yes. This time though, we learned more information. It's coming from Japan, there's two pilots that we're currently doing background checks on, along with four passengers." The soldier reported.

"It seems a little tight, is there anything else you've gathered?" Karai asked, walking closer. Casey, once again followed.

"Yes. It also lists that there's very important cargo on board."

"Wait wait wait, hold up, can someone explain this to me?" Casey interjected.

Karai turned to him. "On the night Donnie was captured, one of my soldiers reported a private jet leaving the city. The problem was everything was encrypted and without Donnie I didn't know how to hack into anything. We couldn't figure out who was flying, where it was going, and who was on board. So I ignored it, thinking that we had lots of other strong leads to follow. Now that same jet is coming back into the city but this time there's no encryption, and from what my soldier has gathered-"

"There's a chance that special cargo could be Donnie." Casey said, turning slowly to Karai who nodded in response.

"Holy chalupa! We're so going, right?" Casey asked anxiously, already pulling his hockey stick out.

Karai ignored him, and faced her soldier. "What're the odds that Donatello is on the flight?"

"Bigger than any other location we've looked in the past three and half months, that's for sure."

"Good. Prepare anyone you can to go within the next half hour. We'll scout the perimeter and keep a lookout for Osamu's clan." Karai ordered.

"Should we prepare to engage?" He asked.

"I'm not sure. I won't know until I know for sure Donnie's on that flight and how his condition is."

"Wait, we're not engaging? Of course we are! These guys have kept our friend from us for months! How could you say we're not gonna fight them and take them down?" Casey practically yelled.

"Jones, I don't want to show these people mercy either, but guess what. One, this could be a trap. Two, we need to think logically. We're most likely going to be outnumbered in a fight. Since nothing was encrypted this time, that could mean Osamu is expecting us to find him and attack. If that's true, then he's going to have as many soldiers as he can waiting in the shadows.

"Before you say anything about myself bringing in soldiers, I have most of them out searching far beyond the city's borders and I took a large sum with me on my most recent mission. I'm low on my resources and not at the top of my game. If that really is Osamu and Donnie coming into New York, the best thing we can do is follow and see where they go. Then we can call the guys and make a plan as soon as we're all ready."

"Wait, we're not calling the guys till after?" Casey asked, his mouth wide in surprise.

"Casey, think about it, I would never keep them out of something like this for no reason. They are all tired, weak, and emotionally unstable right now. If they get a glimpse of Donnie they'll forgo everything in the plan and rush into the battle, endangering themselves, my group, and possibly Donatello. It's best if it's just us for right now." She responded.

Karai really didn't want to keep the guys in the dark but it was the best decision. And if Donnie really wasn't on the jet, it would just add their heart breaks. She didn't want to get their hopes up for nothing. Though, if Donnie really was there, she would deal with the consequences of keeping it a secret and would face whatever wrath they would each throw at her.

"Alright. . .I won't say anything. I'll follow your lead." Casey said with a sigh, still keeping his hockey stick in a tight grip.

"Good." She said.

The night was ending soon. The sun hadn't risen yet but from the light blue and pink skies it was only a matter of time before the shadows would disperse. Karai ran along the rooftops, keeping the more dark areas as her, Casey, and a few foot soldiers ran to their destination.

Karai hated the small numbers, but it was all she could gather in a short amount of time. She planned to have a couple of her scouts drive to the area via motorcycles, while her and the others would remain close to wear the jet was to land. It was a little field right outside the city, known for small planes, helicopters and jets to take off or land.

It would be easy to hide but difficult to find others hiding. They had to be stealthy and quick, ready to escape if an ambush was to occur.

Karai was impressed that Casey was able to stay at her pace. She was moving quicker than usual, so the fact that he showed no signs of needing a break was rather relieving. They couldn't stop now. Not when they could be so close.

"Hey Karai?" Casey asked, keeping his voice down for once.

"What is it, Jones?"

"April keeps texting me about where I am, what should I say?"

"Are you serious? Ugh, fine, just say that you're busy right now or you know, wait till afterwards to text her."

"I can't leave her on read, she'll know something's up."

"With you, there's always something up. Now put your phone away before I throw it off the building. We're almost there."

The group arrived shortly, finding a group of trees, they took cover as they waited anxiously for the jet.

From where they were perched, Karai could see a fairly large building with some satellite dishes stationed at the top. Lights were on and she could see some shadows of people walking around.

At the bottom, there were some suspicious looking people walking around the area. They were dressed in the attire Leo had described and carried around various weapons. Karai could count a little less than twenty but that was all she could see. Who knew how many were also using the foliage as a cover. Still, there were more than what she had with her. Fights where she was outnumbered weren't unusual but there were too many unknown factors that still needed to be determined.

The scouts she had didn't report anything too unusual and were awaiting her command in case of an emergency escape.

"Remember, stay vigilant, they can't know we're here. This is just a scouting mission." Karai reminded everyone, looking more at Casey than the others.

"Yeah. yeah. I got it." Casey said, rolling his eyes. There was nothing more he wanted than to go bash some heads in. They shouldn't be sitting around letting these guys control Donnie's life like some messed up game. If it was up to him, he would be down there tearing it up but it wasn't like he was the logical one. The last thing he wanted to do was screw up their chances in finding Don and that's what he was gonna do. Wait patiently until told otherwise.

"Mistress Karai," A soldier announced.

"What is it?"

"It is here."

A couple seconds later, strong winds and a loud engine emerged from the sea of clouds, descending onto the ground. Everyone took cover, making sure there was no way for them to be seen as the jet made its final adjustments before powering off after a few minutes.

Everyone awaited in anxious breath as the door opened and a staircase was pressed against it.

"Who are those guys?" Casey asked as two individuals exited the plane.

"Not sure, it could be Osamu himself but Leo didn't know exactly how to describe him. As for the girl, she could be a close commander or some close friend." Karai responded, not taking her eyes off the door.

Her mind was telling her over and over again that this was just another false lead. What made tonight different from any other night? Nothing. This was going to fail and that was fin-

She gasped.

Emerging from the plane, being carried in between two soldiers, was none other than Donatello.

Karai could feel the tears prick the coroners of her eyes as she tried to contain her own gasps of awe and excitement. After so many dead leads, after late night calls with Shini about the endless failures, he was really there. . .

Karai took the moment to take in the sight of her missing brother. His scarred appearance, the fact he was wearing nothing, not even his trademark mask. How innocent and childlike he looked as he was being carried down.

"Don!" Casey shouted, making moves to get up.

"Casey, get down!" Karai ordered, keeping her voice down as she checked to make sure no one heard them.

"But he's right there! He's alive. . .he's-"

"He's in a very vulnerable state right now. Just look at him. He's covered in bruises and injuries. He doesn't have any of his gear and who knows where his weapon could be. He's probably weakened. It would be so easy for this to become a hostage situation. We just can't take that risk right now." Karai said, hating herself with every word.

Casey was right. Donnie was literally right in front of their eyes. After all this time, he was right there, but she couldn't. The sight of her brother was from her worst nightmares. Donnie looked almost unrecognizable. He was beaten and bruised. His olive skin was pale, his plastron scarred. Just what exactly had these guys done to him?

"So what do we do?" Case asked.

A white van suddenly pulled up into the area, driven by what looked to be another soldier. Orders were shouted as the back doors were opened and the two guys who were carrying Donnie went into the back, coming back out without said turtle. The doors closed sharply and the van began to pull out. Karai noted to herself that none of the guards made any motions to follow the van, or even enter it. From what she could tell, there really was only one driver.

"We follow them."

"Aw yeah! Let's go!" Casey exclaimed. Karai quickly turned back to her men.

"Get the cycles, we're going to see where exactly they're going." She ordered. They nodded and they all ventured out into the outskirts of where they were hidden.

Karai's focus was solely on the van. She wasn't about to let their family member disappear yet again into the depths of the night. She was going to succeed. She had to succeed.

"Umm, Karai?" Casey asked as they all began to run towards where the scouts were.

"What?" Karai barked, not taking her eyes off of the van as it began to make its way out of the area.

"WE'RE BEING FOLLOWED!" He yelled, pointing to the soldiers that were following them.

Karai cursed under her breath, they had to see where that van was going or they could lose Donnie again. She made motions for her soldiers to cover her and Casey as they continued running. She hated leaving them but she knew they could handle themselves until her and Casey were ready.

The scouts came closer and closer into view, the motorcycles right beside them.

"Casey, get behind me!" She yelled as she hopped onto one. The scouts got onto the other one as Casey joined on Karai's

Karai wasted no time, she revved up the vehicle, going as fast as she could. Casey held on and the others followed.

It didn't take her too long to relocate where the van was, it had just entered New York City traffic and didn't seem to notice. Her soldiers got the idea and strayed further behind to stop anyone from following. Karai had no more resources, she and Casey were the only ones that had the chance to find Don and make sure he stayed found.

She pushed on the gas, entering traffic as well. She passed confused cars and frustrated drivers. She saw a couple people give her a few gestures and many honked but she didn't care. Her brother was in that van and she wasn't going to lose sight of it.

"Casey, is there anyone following us?"

"No, why?"

"There's only one soldier in that van. It would be so easy to-"

"Wait, are you suggesting we hijack it?" Casey yelled through the roaring wind.

"That's exactly what I'm suggesting." Karai said with a smirk. She could feel her adrenaline rise. She could feel the need of succeeding and getting her brother growing stronger. She couldn't turn back now. She couldn't just get this close and not escape with Donatello.

If it really was just one soldier it would be idiotic to just let it get away, especially if they weren't being followed. Casey smirked and nodded, silently agreeing to the new plan.

Karai drove as fast as she could. She couldn't keep track of how many cars she nearly collided with but that was an unnecessary detail. Besides, it was only a matter of minutes before the police showed up. This needed to happen fast.

She got closer and closer, until she was right beside the door. The soldier had looked over and was shocked. Perfect.

"Casey, you know what to do." Karai said with a knowing smile. Casey understood.

"GOONGALA," He shouted fiercely.

The world was in slow motion. He jumped from the cycle, landing on the side of the door. Ignoring the hash winds, bright lights of cars, and his worn adrenaline, Casey forcefully opened the door, immediately landing a kick on the guy's mid area. The soldier fell to the ground, losing control of the wheel. That's when Karai jumped in. Ignoring her bike, she left it in the mess of cars as she joined Casey in the van. She grabbed the wheel before it could crash into the side of the road, while Casey threw the soldier out the other door.

"Did we just. . .successfully hijack a van?" Casey asked, taking a moment to catch his breath.

"Along with rescuing Donnie? I think we did." Karai said, breathing deeply as she exited the road, driving into a less crowded one.

"Now go check on him, make sure he's okay." Karai ordered him the umpteenth time that night, or at least that morning.

"Alright, alright, I'll go." Casey said with a relieved smile, opening the center door that led to the back of the van. After a few minutes of silence, his voice broke out again.

"Um, Karai. . .?" He asked nervously.

"What Jones?"

"Donnie's not in here. . ."

"Wait, what do you mean Donnie's not in there?" she turned her head back towards him.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'WHAT DO I MEAN?'! HE'S NOT BACK THERE!"

"DID YOU TROUBLE CHECK?"

"dID i dOubLE cHEcK, YOU THINK I WOULD MISS A SIX FOOT MUTANT TURTLE IN THE BACK OF A VAN?"

Karai slammed on the brakes, thankful that no one was around them or else they would've been caught in yet another situation.

They each took a deep breath, Casey sat on the other seat, his head facing the window.

"So. . .what does this mean. . .?" He asked softly, a tear rolling down his face that he hid from Karai. How could they let this happen? How did this happen? He knew he should've attacked them when he had the chance. Donnie was right there. Right there. . .

"It means that this was a decoy. I'll double check with my group to see if they saw any other vehicles leaving. Don't worry Casey we're going to see him again. We just have to. . ."

Karai pulled out from the side of the road, making her way back to HQ where she and Casey would await the news if all had been lost, and the wrath of three emotionally unstable brothers. . .

Chapter Text

"You did. . .WHAT?" Leo's voice bounced off the sewer walls, his arms being flown in exasperation from what he was hearing. He glared at Karai and Casey. Of course they would go off on their own mission to rescue Donnie. His missing little brother. Better yet, of course they did so and ended up failing.

"We didn't mean to lose him again, I swear we really thought we had him!" Casey defended, trying to make the others see that the crummy situation wasn't all that. . .okay maybe it was all that crummy but still. He would try anything to make the reign of anger simmer.

"That's not why we're mad!" Raph yelled. After having been silent throughout the exchange of stories, Raph suddenly found his voice. His hands were clenched into fists, shaking with immense anger. He didn't understand why his close friend decided to tag along on a mission that they, he, had spent so much time preparing for. "We're mad because you guys did it without even telling us! He's our brother too!" Raph said, pointing a figure into Casey's chest.

"We know that Raphael! It's not like we went into it forgetting you guys or wanting glory or some nonsense like that. We weren't going to even engage-"

"Then why did you?" Leo interrupted, keeping his eyes strictly on Karai as Raph kept his on Casey as the room descended into silence. Both parties were still, all that could be heard was the steady fall of sewage falling from the pipes.

"I thought. . .I thought that for once in my life I could make up for all the mistakes I've made. That I could make up for all the pain I've caused in the past. If I could've just rescued him. . ." Karai cut herself off, unable to finish her sentence as tears gathered in her eyes. She had instead done the opposite of what she wanted. The guys were more mad at her than ever before from another one of her stupid decisions. Even Casey was getting blamed for something she did. He didn't deserve it. Donnie didn't deserve it.

"Tell that to Donnie!" Leo shouted. Both Raph and Casey gawked at Leo for a moment. It was rare to see the leader be so ticked off at the girl he used to crush on. Not even from the multiple times when Karai had betrayed them, had Leo shown such rage. "Get out of your head Karai! This isn't the time to make things up to us. Donnie's life isn't a token of remorse! If you truly cared about him, about us, you would've called, texted, for shell's sake, think of an actual strategy than just hijack the wrong van!"

"Oh come on Leo, don't just stand there and tell me you wouldn't have rushed in yourself instead of thinking of a plan. Hell, that was the whole reason I didn't call!"

"You know what, maybe I would've rushed in, but at least I would've saved him! At least I would've saved him because I actually care about him."

"Is that so? If you really cared about him, then you wouldn't have let him get captured in the first place."

"W-What. . .?"

Leo and Karai's heads shot in the direction of the turnstiles, only to gasp. Mikey and April had gone out for pizza not too long ago, as a way to make a dreary night a little sweeter. It was right after they departed, Karai and Casey had rushed in to bring the news about their encounter. Everyone had forgotten about their absence and it was deeply noticeable by Mikey's tears, they had heard enough.

"Mike-" Leo started to say but was quickly cut off by April's glare. The redhead had one hand placed gently on Mikey's shoulder, the other in a similar fist to Raph's

"What happened." She asked in a tight jaw, her eyes unmoving and torturous.

"Well you see Red," Casey began to sweat, "remember when I said I was going to go hang with Karai for a bit to see what she was up to? Well after I came, some ninja was talking about a possible lead to Don's location, so I was all like that's so epic and Karai was all like we gotta go. I asked about talking to you guys but she said it was for the best that we don't.

"A-anyway, so we got to the place, it looked pretty plain but like I knew something was up. Then this epic looking jet lands and we're all like super nervous, ya know? Like, could this really be where Don's at? If so, dang he's got some luxury-" Taking note of April's increasing glare, Casey skipped some unappreciated details.

"S-so it turned out that Donnie really was on the plane! Man, I was all ready to dish out some sweet moves but Karai said something about it turning into a hostage situation so we didn't. Which I got, but was still really peeved. So then I didn't know what was gonna happen cause Don was placed into a van. But then, Karai had us follow the van! Aw man, it was such an epic chase! We even managed to hijack it! But then we realized that the van was a major decoy and the guys got away with Don. . .again"

Casey finished his story with a little anxious laugh, terrified for the reaction that was to come.

"So let me get this straight. After almost four months of nothing, you finally got a glimpse of Donnie and instead of calling for backup, you handled it on your own?!" April shouted, mimicking Leo.

"Yes! Okay? Yes, we did it by ourselves for stupid reasons, but that's not the point, if you would listen-" Karai countered.

"I think we've all heard enough, Karai." Leo stated angrily. "I can't believe you two. We could've had Donnie back tonight or at least knew where he is!"

"Leo if you give me a chance-"

"You've had enough chances!" Raph shouted.

"K-Karai. . ?" Mikey spoke. His voice frail as tears rushed down his face. Throughout the whole exchange, Mikey remained quiet. All he had wanted to do was come home with a nice warm pizza and try to lift everyone's spirits and refill the low energy. He hated how long everything was taking, and he himself knew they couldn't last forever living like this so if something as simple as pizza could reignite everyone's energy, then that's what he would do. April tagged along with him and with each step home, he could feel himself be renewed and more anxious to get back to searching. He had the biggest feeling that they were so close to finding Don. His missing bro just felt closer than ever before. Even April was getting the same anxious feelings.

What he didn't expect was to come home to everyone arguing. He hated when his family argued. It happened so often after their father's death and with Donnie's disappearance. Mikey was ready to turn back around and wait for the fighting to be over. He was not in the mood to get in the middle of another sibling argument.

But it was the words he heard that made him stop from going back up to the surface. This fight wasn't like the others. It wasn't about tempers, keeping secrets, not being good enough, or even about the endless searches. This time, it was about the one thing that Mikey had been so desperately hoping for. Every night he would get down on his knees, praying and crying for his brother's safe return to their family. Wishing that Donnie wouldn't meet the same fate as their father.

And now. . .

There was proof. Karai and Casey had actually seen his big brother with their own eyes. He didn't care that they weren't informed immediately. He knew Karai cared deeply for them and would only do things for the better. He didn't care that his other brothers were angry, or even that April's shouting was causing the floor to shake. All he cared for was that Donnie was here. He wasn't gone forever. There was still a chance for him to be saved. A chance for them all to be a family once again.

"Y-Yeah Mikey?"

"I-Is he okay?" Mikey asked, looking up at his sister with his baby blue eyes. It shattered Karai's heart to see him look so young, to know that he didn't care about getting angry right now, all he wanted was to know how is big brother looked.

"I only saw Donnie for a couple seconds Mikey, and. . .it wasn't great. He was definitely alive but he's scarred. Really scarred." Karai responded, wishing she could give him a more comfortable answer.

"But he's not lost. Look, I know what I did was wrong and I don't care if you never forgive me, but just hear me out." Karai pleaded, waiting for some form of confirmation from all three of the brothers, including April. A couple seconds later, after some confirmed nods, she continued.

"While Casey and I followed the decoy, one of my soldiers spotted a limo leaving the area. They followed the vehicle to this building made to look like a run of the mill industry. It has no suspicious exterior and has normal looking people walking in and out of it, but that's where the limo went. He stayed around a couple more minutes and caught the slightest glimpse of Donatello. It was small but he swears that it was him."

"S-so we can still find D?" Mikey asked, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"We're going to do more than find him Mikey, we're going to get him back." Karai stated, looking straight at Leo as she spoke.

"So what do we do now, fearless?" Raph asked after another moment of silence. He still didn't know how to feel about Karai and Casey's little adventure but his baby bro had a point. Donnie was back in the city. This was their turf. It was their turn to inflict some damage.

"Well we can't just rush in there. If Donnie is in rough shape they're bound to keep him secured for at least a couple of days. We also don't even know the flooring. We need to think this out before we act. Donnie's life depends on it. So, April and Karai, you guys focus on getting some blueprints. Have some soldiers scout the area too. I want to know if Osamu has his own team protecting the area. Once we get that setup, we'll start planning our moves. I want everyone to train hard. We may only have one shot at this."

Everyone nodded, unsure of exactly what was going to happen but understanding their roles. Karai and April rushed out the turnstiles, while Raph and Casey left for the punching bag and training weapons. Leaving Leo and Mikey alone.

"Leo. . .?" Mikey asked, noticing his brother's distraught look.

"It's nothing Mikey, why don't you go get the pizza ready and I'll meet you in the kitchen shortly."

"Leo, I may be the youngest but I'm not a fragile little kid. I might not be a Donnie level confidant but you can tell me anything bro." Mikey said softly, moving from his sitting position on the steps and walking over to his brother.

"It's just. . .Karai was right. If I had been better, If I cared mo-"

"Leo please don't go down the rabbit hole." Mikey said, placing an arm around him. All his brothers had the nastiest tendencies to take the heat of an argument to the heart and continuously blame themselves. Sure, Mikey would do the same but that was from the fact that the words were true. He was fine with that, but it wasn't cool for his brothers to believe hurtful truths.

"Karai was just angry and trying to defend herself. . .kinda like Raph. . .but we can't focus on that stuff. . .once we bring Donnie home we can all resolve our problems and we'll be okay again." Mikey said with an overwhelming amount of hope that he feared he lost. Mikey looked at Leo once again, there was a slight smile but that was it.

'There's something else.'

"Talk to me Leo. . .please."

He rubbed Leo's shell as he took a deep sigh. He kept his eyes fixated on the ground, concealing his tears.

"It's just, Osamu's last words to me were that the next time we would see Donnie. . .he would be different. He wouldn't be the same. Osamu's smart. I doubt he would come back to New York without making some success, and you heard Karai. If Donnie is scarred heavily physically, then what about mentally? What if. . .we're too late."

Mikey was unsure. He didn't know what to say to that. He completely forgot about Osamu's sick promise he had made to Leo right before Donnie's capture.

"You make a good point Leo. . .but like father always said, all we can do is hope. . ."

The wind gripped his lungs as he leapt from rooftop to rooftop. The cold icy intake of breath was stabbing at his chest, but he refused to stop, nothing could stop him now that he knew.

Leo sticked to the shadows, now and again feeling the surrounding presence of his brothers along with April and Casey. The only noise he could hear was everyone's sharp breathing. The wind wrestled the night soundlessly, as did they. Whether it was from the seriousness of the situation, the adrenaline rush waiting to happen, or the uncertainty, Leo wasn't sure. If he had to guess, he'd say all the above.

He could feel his heart rate steadily increase, his muscles tightening. They were so close. For once, after four months of pure agony, endless failure, and excruciating torture, they were almost there. Donnie was almost home. All they had to do was find him and bring him back.

'But what if he doesn't want to come back?'

Leo shook his head sternly. Now was not the time to be overrun by fear and anxieties. He couldn't let himself get distracted. He needed to be level headed for them, for Donnie. Taking a moment to breathe, he watched the others continue scaling each rooftop, Leo continued.

Though, no matter how many times Leo tried to shake the thoughts of the mission failing for the reason of Donnie not wanting to come home, he couldn't stop himself. His constant nightmares, flashbacks of moments with Don, and. . .Osamu's last words were still too much. Yes, his brothers and family did know what he had been bottling up but now that he was just a building away from his brother. . .the feelings of hope and relief were absent.

He knew that he shouldn't be feeling so much unease. Shell, besides planning the mission, he spent the last two weeks trying to calm himself. He spent hours meditating, hoping to either reach Donnie or at least his father. He always felt some sense of peace after some fatherly advice before something big. This was his plan after all. If it failed, there was no one else to accept responsibility for it besides himself.

Then again, the chances that it would just be him blaming himself were pretty slim. He knew Raph and Mikey would feel the weight too, Leo wasn't Donnie's only brother after all. Raph had been the one training the most out of all of them. Leo couldn't count on his fingers the number of hours Raph would spend at his punching bag or in the dojo, sparring with someone, usually April surprisingly. Speaking of the redhead, Leo didn't know how she looked so energized. Whenever she wasn't sparing with Raph, she was meditating. Hoping to find Donnie's spirit now that he was closer. Yet, there hadn't been any luck as of lately.

With Mikey, it made Leo's insides churn. It wasn't that his youngest was spending late nights training but more of late nights preparing for Donnie's arrival. Mikey swept the floors of the lab, dusted, and made sure everything was organized at least twice a day. To him, everything had to be perfect for his big brother. Even when Leo had admitted his fears of Donnie not coming back, Mikey didn't stop pretending to talk to their brother or make sure the lair was in good shape.

Leo would lay awake at night thinking about what Donnie would make of all this. His geeky brother never really liked having someone, or multiple people go through so much for his sake. He'd rather bend over backwards for everyone else, even if he already had a tight schedule, he always managed to make room for a simple or complex request.

He wondered if Donnie was aware he wasn't in the city for so long. Did he know he was back? Hopefully they will get their answers soon. At this point, Leo could write a book that was filled with all the unanswered questions they could never stop thinking about. Not that they would overwhelm Donnie right away, but once their brother was good and ready to talk, they could find the time to figure everything out. That is, if Donnie knew half the questions they had. Or at least, if they could find him in the first place.

Leo had to shake his head again. First doubting himself and now getting ahead of himself? He had to remain in the present. Whatever happens, happens, but no matter what they're getting Donnie tonight. Even if Donnie doesn't comply, they're not leaving without him.

Taking another leap, his feet skidded against the rooftop until he came to a stop, the others quickly doing the same. Right in front of them was the building they knew Donnie had to be kept in. Karai's soldiers monitored the building day and night. Donnie was for sure in there. All they had to do was get to him.

"Okay, so is everyone clear on the plan?" Leo asked, crossing his fingers he wouldn't have to explain it for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Yes great fearless leader, we remember." Raph groaned, not out of irritation towards his brother, but from his own rising adrenaline. He wanted nothing more than to jump in and take down Osamu, give the devil some payback of his own, but he knew he couldn't. Donnie had to come first and then he could show his fists to some unlucky candidates.

"I'm all good." April stated, keeping her eyes on the building. She could feel Donnie's presence, but it wasn't the usual warm feeling she got whenever she sensed him in the past. It was almost as different as when she had entered his mind when the dream beavers attacked. His aura was cold and dim, it was like he had no life in him, literally. Now, it felt disoriented. . .warm but something's off.

Casey nodded in agreement, he didn't really remember the specifics but he knew most of the important stuff. Besides, he would be with April, she was good at taking the lead and he could handle some of her yelling about how he was an incompetent moron. Still, he knew he couldn't handle this lightly. His friend was in there and he wasn't about to make the same mistake again. He would make sure that they left with Donnie.

All at once, everyone's heads turned to Mikey. He gave a little sheepish laugh, avoiding all necessary eye contact.

"One more time?"

"No problem." Leo said, keeping his anger in check. As much as he didn't want to explain again, he couldn't be mad at Mikey. Leo was doing a fine job at keeping his anger strictly towards Osamu and that was it.

"From the blueprints April got us, we've figured that Donnie is somewhere in the lower levels, below the ground floor. You, Raph, and I are going to look for Don down there while April and Casey sneak off to the upper levels to take care of the security systems. April's the only one out of us that has some knowledge of hacking and Casey's there for backup. Karai will be out here, taking care of Osamu's ninjas and ensuring we have an exit, okay?" Leo said, trying to keep up his fleeting confidence.

"Sounds good." Mikey said with a little smile, that soon disappeared. Everyone was counting on this mission to go right. The endless weeks of grief were taking their toll and Mikey knew they couldn't handle anything more. He couldn't handle more. He just wanted his brother back and reunited with his small family. They all deserved that. He knew Leo feared Donnie wouldn't want to come, that April and Raph feared if he'd changed, or how Casey and Karai worried that they were too late. But him? No. . .he didn't have any more fear. Donnie was at their fingertips and Mikey felt for certain that he would embrace him with open arms.

"Good, and remember, Donnie is our priority. We get him and then come back for Osamu." Leo stated, looking more towards Raph.

"We know Leo, bros before foes." Mikey answered before Raph could, earning a little smile from everyone.

"Alright then, let's move."

Leo directed for everyone except Karai to follow. He gave her a thumbs up as they disappeared into the shadows. From the blueprints, he found that there was an unguarded back door. It was where the building received shipments and packages. There were a couple cameras around the area, small, but most likely weren't looked at often. It would take a couple seconds for April to get the cams offline, giving all of them a window to get in undetected.

With a simple maneuver and a flick of her wrist, April disabled the cameras, earning a little booya from Casey.

Leo looked once more, "April, do you sense anyone near the door?"

"No, there's no one near for at least as a good twenty feet."

With a little breath of relief, Leo checked to make sure the door was unlocked, surprised that it actually was, and entered.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Suddenly, a loud alarm burst through the calming silence. Red lights blinked everywhere, as sounds of running steps drew near.

"Well isn't this just perfect!" Raph shouted, his voice barely audible over the alarm.

'And this is why Donnie's the smart one.'

"Leo! What should we do?" April asked amidst the chaos.

"Go through with the plan! Or at least distract them! We're not leaving till we find Donnie." Leo yelled.

"Call us once you find him. I know you can find him." April said before grabbing onto Casey's and running in the opposite direction.

"So, what do we do leader?" Mikey asked, using the same volume as Raph.

"We go down stairs and find our brother."

What started out as a simple plan turned out to be a chaotic one in less than a second. Leo never felt so lost. Donnie was usually their eyes. He knew where things were and how to turn things off. Leo could still see the red blinking dots on cameras and the overwhelmingly loud alarm system going off, meaning that April and Casey weren't in the security room or that they hadn't figured how to turn stuff off. Either way, it was only a matter of time before they were found by the ninjas and ambushed by Osamu.

Speaking of them, to Leo's surprise, they hadn't been into one guard or soldier since their arrival. It felt too strange to be a coincidence but he couldn't think about that now. Him, Raph, and Mikey were all running around like a chicken without its head. They didn't know how far down they were or even where they were. It was looking hopeless.

"This is pointless!" Raph yelled. "We're never going to find him at this rate!"

"Don't say that dude! I know he's here. My brother senses are tingling!" Mikey yelled back.

"It's not like we can just open a random door," Raph said, going over to the nearest door, "and expect to find him just standing there! We're wasting time and- What're you guys staring at?" He asked quietly, turning his head to see why Mikey and Leo were suddenly speechless. In nothing more than a millisecond, Raph mimicked their expressions.

Because right in front of their eyes, facing them, was none other than. . .

Chapter Text

What once was a deafening, chaotic race against time took a rapid pause. Jaws dropped to the floor as the world moved in slow motion. No one could believe their eyes, thinking that reality was once again deceiving them into false illusions. How could it be? After all this time, was their hell finally over? Or has it only just begun? No one dared to move. The fatigue, adrenaline, the fear weighed each participant down. It was as if gravity had increased, though everyone felt the dizziness of weightlessness. These feelings, they were unexpected, unwelcomed, but alas, no one had the power to snap out of the trance.

Leo, Raph, and Mikey stood at the doorway, unmoving, gawking at the sight of their used-to-be missing brother.

Donatello stood not even three feet away from them, shaking in his place. At least, what looked to be Donatello.

Their shocked expressions confirmed their surprise for how different Donnie appeared. He resembled nothing of the turtle they had last seen on the night he disappeared. The most noticeable was the outfit change. The brothers were never huge fashion icons. They preferred their ninja wrappings and the gear that accompanied. Very rarely did they change, rarely doing so if there was to be a more serious mission of some sorts. However, this was unusually different. Especially for Donnie. It was no secret that Leo got dressed up now and then, heck Mikey was known to dazzle himself in unusual costumes. Raph, sure, especially if it made him feel a new sense of power, but Donnie? He was usually known for a lab coat and that was it, not some fancy getup.

It was as if they were staring at a new turtle.

As hard as it was to look past the outfit change, the scariest change about their brother was the noticeable scars that covered his body. From the open areas that revealed his skin, the brothers could see darker patches of skin that still had a crimson tint. From underneath certain fabric, there were bumps, hinting at bandages.

And that was just what they could see. Who knew how many more scars Donnie was hiding under anything. . .

Even after scanning over their brother, the guys just couldn't find the strength to pick their feet up and move towards him. The immediate shock hadn't washed away yet, only leaving them to continue staring at Donnie, praying internally that their eyes were betraying them.

Leo felt the oxygen depart his body. His lungs squeezed, but his heart squeezed harder. He gently shook his head as he looked directly into Donnie's eyes. Those were indeed his little brother's soft crimson eyes, but they were changed. They looked soulless. Filled with nothing but pain. Feelings that Leo was all too familiar with, feelings he had long seen in his brother's eyes. He took a deep, shaky breath. What was Donnie put through to end up like this? Why, why would he look like this? Unless. . .

'We were too late, I-I failed. . .'

Nightmares that Leo pushed away, that he constantly tried to forget, flashed through his mind. They played side by side, revealing what he feared most. They were true. Osamu's words were true. Donnie didn't look the least bit thrilled to see them, no, he looked more so scared. Frightened that they were in front of him.

The little brother that fought alongside them, alongside him, wasn't there. He was hidden under turmoil. It was clear to Leo that Donnie went through the unthinkable, and it was all his fault.

'I did this.'

Taking a leap of faith, Leo took one step closer. Just one small step towards his brother. Hoping that he was wrong, hoping he didn't fail and that Donnie was still in shock. Shock, that's what it had to be.

He reached out, something he had always done in his dreams, knowing he wasn't close to touching the real form, but here he was. Donnie was just at is fingertips, just a little more-

Donnie flinched, backing up almost immediately as contact was made. He shook his head from the shock, yet, still stayed where he was. He didn't offer any remorse, no sorrowful expression. He had every intention of that happening. It was the confirmation Leo was dreading.

After weeks, months, of prayers, sleepless nights, agonizing nightmares, Leo couldn't keep it together anymore. This was the final straw, his final breaking point. He fell to his knees on the hard concrete floor. Ignoring the pain, he bowed his head, his hands being the only support of his body from completely falling. His arms shook but not nearly as hard as his sobs. His voice cracked as tears fell from his eyes. He failed. He failed his family. He failed his little brother. He failed his father. How could he take care of a family that was broken? How could he ever make it up to Donnie? How could they ever heal from this?

Leo didn't know the answer, nor did he think he ever would.

Neither did Mikey.

Mikey could feel the hope leave his heart all at once. His body was glued to the floor. He wanted to help Leo, he wanted to run to Donnie, he wanted to see how Raph was, but he couldn't find the strength to do anything. His heart was shattering with every moment Donnie wasn't at their side. This wasn't how it was supposed to go, this wasn't how he envisioned it. They were supposed to find Donnie, engulf him in the biggest family hug and leave this place forever. They would get pizza, help Donnie through everything, and be the family that they were always meant to be. Not some broken version.

Mikey was so lost and confused. Why would Donnie do this? What even was 'this'? He couldn't be on Osamu's side. Not when they all spent countless nights searching endlessly for him. There were so many tears shed, so many raging fights. It couldn't end like this. Donnie was supposed to wait for them. He knew Donnie. He knew his brother wouldn't give up so easily. He would never be willing to stay in the clutches of an enemy or do whatever they wanted.

He talked to Donnie, not physically but. . .he told them they were coming. . .This, this couldn't be it. Donnie just couldn't. . .

Mikey, mirroring Leo, shook his head at the sight of his big brother. The brother he longed for at night. Hoping this reality was twisted. Hoping that this was somehow just another nightmare that he would wake to in the morning.

"D-Donnie?" He squeaked out and Donnie's head shot towards him, for a moment Mikey thought he saw a small smile but it was replaced with a frown too quickly for him to confirm. His brother appeared to be heartbroken, even scared. But Donnie had no reason to fear them. They were the heroes in this story, right? Osamu was the enemy. The one Donnie should be fearing.

But then why did he look so frightened. . .?

It took Raph a moment to process everything. After his own examination of Donnie, the shock of it all finally departed his body. Much like his other two brothers, he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Donnie was the pacifist of the family. Next to Mikey, he had the biggest heart. He wasn't like him or Leo. He was sensitive. He was a dork that avoided violence if he could. He wasn't some backstabbing, lunatic.

Raph rested a hand on Leo's shell. He wasn't the least bit surprised that his oldest brother was reacting this way. He had been the one trying to hold everyone together, the one to receive Osamu's words about exactly this. Leo was having a much needed emotional breakdown, even though the timing was completely off. Still, Raph knew it was him who was now in charge. A role he was going to take very seriously.

How dare Donnie. Did he have any clue how much trouble they all went through for him? Karai and Casey could've been seriously hurt for the stunt they pulled for him. Obviously he had no common sense whatsoever.

Raph could feel himself filled with anger. They came all this way and for what? To see Donnie in a new get up and forgetting that he even had a family to begin with. And what was that flinch? Was he purposely trying to break their heart more than they already were?

Raph had enough. If Mikey wasn't going to say anything then he was.

Despite Raph's feelings, he had no idea the extent of Donnie's emotions.

The broken brother couldn't even begin to describe all that he was feeling. After weeks of feelings numb sensation that was taking over all sense of emotion, to finally see the brothers that for the longest time, thought had abandoned him was. . .overwhelming.

Osamu was true to his word. The alarm went off and here his brothers were. They looked just as they did when he was taken. Yet, they looked at him as if he was the one who betrayed them. They had no idea of the magnitude of the situation. They didn't know the hell he saw. The hell he was still living through. Did they really think that after all this time they could suddenly show up and assume everything would be fine? Typical.

Though. . .it did feel a little comforting to know that they were here. That they finally came. . .Maybe. . .maybe things aren't as hopeless as he thought. Maybe-

"What the shell is all this Donnie?" Raph barked, taking a step past Leo, closer to Donnie. Donnie counteracted, taking yet another step back.

"W-What. . .?" Donnie said, his fear growing.

"What's with the new look?" Raph asked again, harshly.

"C'mon Raph. . .He's obviously disguising himself to trick Osamu. I'm sure he's been hatching up an escape plan since they came back to the city, right Don?" Mikey asked gently, looking up at Donnie with his baby blue eyes.

Donnie's words were lost in his throat. There was too much happening at once and he was losing the internal battle to remain calm until Katsumi, or anyone showed up.

"B-Back to the city?" He asked, confused by that section of Mikey's words and avoiding the confirmation of what he knew they didn't want to hear. But how could he not? If any one of them had been in his shoes wouldn't they have done the same? He was already chewing himself over and over again but everytime he did he would hear their voices again.

"Useless."

"Pathetic."

"Worthless."

"Is it really betrayal when they've already betrayed you?"

"Yeah! Cause ya know, you just came in from Japan like two weeks ago. We would've been here sooner but we really wanted to make the perfect plan." Mikey answered, trying to keep up his smile. He sensed Raph's anger and really didn't think a fight would be the best. All he wanted was to get Donnie home and out of this place for good.

"I've been in New York this whole time." Donnie stated.

"Pfft, are you serious?" Raph asked rhetorically. "Have you been living under a rock? You've been in Japan this whole time. Now you better quit the whole costume thing and head out with us before I carry you out myself."

"Why? So I can go back to being the pathetic genius that does whatever pleases you all?" Donnie sneered.

"Really? You're really gonna stand there and say that load of crap?" Raph asked once again, pushing Mikey aside and standing in front of him. Anger that was stored, anger at himself, anger at Osamu, at Shredder, at his father's passing was all coming out and being directed at the one who deserved it the least.

"Oh I'm sorry, should I use the word forsaken? Weak? Helpless? Are those words in your vocabulary?"

"You little-"

"Raph!" Mikey yelled. This was not at all how they should be talking with Donnie. There was something Donnie was keeping to himself. Mikey could sense it. This was not the time to throw anger at each other. They had to leave before they were surrounded by soldiers.

"Why Donnie? Why after all this time are you working for the enemy! Is it to get access to some geek lab? Are we really that worthless?!"

"You really think I would give up my family for possessions? How dense do you think I am! Have you ever even stopped to consider that maybe I'm here because I feel safer here than at home? That maybe I can't stand to be near you guys when all I see are ARGH-" Donnie yelled, clutching his head. Just as he predicted, flashbacks. He was back in that despicable chair, feeling the shocks and jabs of a weapon, seeing his brother throw hateful words and punches directly at him. Reminding him of his worth. How he wasn't needed. That he wasn't good for anything.

"No Donnie, I haven't. You wanna know why?" Raph asked, too blinded to notice Donnie's pained expression. "I haven't because I assumed you would remember that it was Osamu who fought you and Leo, that it was Osamu who hurt you and Leo. It was Osamu who kidnapped you. It was Osamu that hurt you or manipulated you enough for you to think he's the better option!" He yelled, taking a moment to breathe.

Beside the continuous alarm and Leo's sobs, no one said anything. Mikey, who had been irritated, actually agreed with Raph's words. He didn't want to blame Donnie or be angry but it was true. Osamu had hurt him and manipulated him. He felt that even he would be able to see the obvious attempt at breaking them apart, so why hadn't Donnie? But of course, Raph wasn't ready to let go of his anger.

"Do you even realize how hard we worked to find you? It was torture for us Donnie! We searched everywhere for you only to find out that you were in Japan the whole time! You were nowhere near the city and we had no idea! It was thanks to Karai and Casey that we're here now! There were so many sleepless nights, days went by without us eating anything because we felt it wasn't right. We barely even talked to each other. Mikey finally was able to pull us together but it wasn't for long!

"We realized we weren't anywhere close to finding you still and we thought that we never would. Leo was losing his mind because-I bet you don't even know, because Osamu told him that the next time we would see you, well, you would be like this! Living the life of luxury while we suffered-"

"Are you really going to stand there and say that I've lived a life of luxury during these last four months? You guys have no idea what I've been through and why I'm like this and why there's no way I'm going back home. After the bre-. . .I was given the opportunity to come back home but I couldn't take it. I couldn't go back to that environment. . ." Donnie responded, hanging his head that was steadily growing a headache. This was all too much to handle at once. Truths were being confirmed, thoughts were being denied, he didn't know what to think of reality anymore.

"Oh yeah, because getting a new fancy outfit and having all these machines to yourself really is proof that your life has been so hard!"

"Don't you dare stand there and act like you know what I've been through Raphael!" Donnie shouted, his voice echoing off the walls, a noise he was long used to by now.

"You have no idea what it's been like for me. The choices I've made have been based on whether or not I feel even a shred of security. My feelings with Osamu are. . .complicated but so are my feelings with you guys. I've tried, I really did try. . .but I've seen too much, I've felt too much. . .I'm not, I'm not ready to go back. Especially if all you're going to do is yell at me and blame me once again for everything failing. I'm broken enough as it is so-" Taking a deep breath, Donnie unleashed all his anger, torment, and anguish on the fire Raphael started,

"JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Just leave me alone. . ."

Raph stepped back from the force of Donnie's voice, realizing what he had done.

'I yelled at him. . .Donnie's been gone for months and the first thing I did was yell at him. . .what. . .what have I done?'

"Donatello!" Osamu shouted, entering the room from an above catwalk, landing in between Donnie and Raph. Making a dramatic entrance wasn't usually his style but after hearing Donatello shouting, he figured now was the best time to enter the scene.

It was perfect, he knew the turtles were coming tonight. He knew their friends were fighting his fleet and he had strategically left Donnie all alone, hoping his brothers would find him and ignore the obvious ploy.

Mikey and Raph gasped. This was their first time witnessing Osamu's presence and it was scary how similar he felt to the Shredder. The two brothers stepped in front of Leo, raising their weapons.

"Are you alright, my child?" Osamu said, resting a hand on Donnie's shoulder.

"I'm fine. . ." Donnie answered, wrapping his arms around his torso, avoiding eye contact.

"Don't touch him!" Raph shouted, glaring daggers at the man. With his anger redirected, Raph suddenly felt the protective brotherly urge he needed. Now that Osamu was in front of him, he could sense how manipulative the guy was and Raph didn't want him near his little brother.

"Oh and you have the right? It's not like your reunion proved anything." Osamu said, hinting at the fact that Raph had given Donnie little proof Osamu was the true enemy.

Osamu couldn't be any more thrilled. It was hard for him to keep his excitement steady. One wrong move and Donatello would run back to his brothers and leave forever. He had to continue taking calculated steps if this would work, but still. After everything he put Donatello through, in this moment, he was being chosen over the brothers. It was good when Donatello wished to end the torture, when he had accepted a role in his clan, but now?

Seeing the turtle yell at his brothers and wish for them to leave, it was the final confirmation that these four months had not been in vain. That he had ultimately achieved his goal. Donatello was his, broken away from his family, leaving them in shambles.

It was almost too joyous for him to take.

Alas, he knew he couldn't live in the moment forever. Donatello needed to go somewhere safe and away from all this confusion. Lucily, Katsumi had been right behind him when he entered and was anxiously awaiting for Donatello at the door.

"Donatello, Katsumi's waiting for you right outside. Go, I'll handle your brothers for you."

Donnie nodded, whispering something the brothers couldn't hear, but Osamu nodding back. "If that's what you wish, or course."

Donnie looked back at Raph and Mikey before turning towards the door and into Katsumi's waiting arms. Once they left, Mikey couldn't stay quiet any longer.

"What did you do to him?" He asked angrily, glaring like Raph.

"Wouldn't you like to know? Unfortunately it's up to Donatello to tell you, but I did enough. Enough to shatter your bond forever." He cackled.

"How could you! Donnie didn't deserve anything and y-you you, YOU!" Mikey shouted, feeling his own fury build up inside him.

"It really was quite challenging, your brother is a hard one to break but after some complex manipulation, I now have the power to influence his every move without him even realizing it. And now, thanks to you personally Raphael, any doubts he had about me are long gone, replaced by his need for safety. So really, thank you."

"W-was it fun?" Leo asked, raising himself from the ground, his eyes red and his voice cracked.

"Pardon?" Osamu asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Was it fun watching him break. Lying to him about being in New York, knowing we wouldn't be coming."

"Honestly, I enjoyed every second."

"You sick-"

"GOONGALA"

Everyone's heads shot up from the familiar yell. The guys sighed in relief to see their friends finally join them. What wasn't a relief was seeing the soldiers that followed them. In no less than a few seconds, they were completely surrounded by Osamu's army of ninjas.

"Guys! Did you find Donnie?"

"Is that Osamu?"

"We may have gotten the attention of every soldier in the building." Everyone said at once, each looking for where Donnie was.

"May I inform them of your failure?" Osamu asked.

"You guys okay?" Karai asked, noticing Leo's dried tears.

After they departed from the guys, April and Casey had attempted to hack into the security room to make sure the guys weren't spotted. April had done her best but wasn't skilled enough to hack into the system, so the two had opted to join Karai while she kept soldiers distracted. After a slip up from Casey, they had begun to face their own soldiers. At one point, the three teens ran into each other and tried to reach the guys. When they didn't pick up, they panicked and tried to continue keeping the ninjas distracted, that is until they brought them all down here.

"We're fine, but Donnie. . .we can't get him right now. We'll have to come back." Leo said dejectedly.

"What? But Leo-"

"That's my final decision."

"You would be wise to listen to him." Osamu said, "I'm afraid Donatello isn't willing to go back home with you freaks, but, due to his request, I'm giving you one opportunity to leave this place unharmed. I won't have my men injure or chase you, as well as your own ninjas, Karai."

"So, just like that, you're going to let us go?" Raph asked. As much as he didn't want to leave without Donnie, there was no other choice. Mikey looked ready for a fight, and Leo was still an emotional wreck, whether he tried to hide it or not.

"Yes. But hurry, my patience is wearing thin."

"We're not seriously leaving, are we?" Mikey asked, baffled.

"We have no choice Mikey." Raph said, grabbing Mikey by the arm. "We'll be back."

Leo and the others nodded, sheathing their weapons despite their want for a fight.

"Oh, and one more thing." Osamu interrupted.

"What." Leo seethed.

"Here's your receipt." Osamu said, tossing Donnie's purple mask like a meaningless piece of fabric.

Gasping, Mikey ran to the fabric, holding it close to his heart. A fresh set of tears already running down his face.

With a few final glares, they all gathered themselves together, racing out of the building with a smoke bomb, before Osamu could have a moment to change his mind.

Not another word was exchanged between the team as they left the headquarters and into the cold darkness of the night.

"No turtle left behind.. . ." Mikey muttered.

"What did you say Mikey?" Raph asked, looking back at his brother who was falling behind them on the rooftop.

"No turtle left behind! That's our rule right? How could we just leave him like that!"

"Mikey we had no other choice." Leo said calmly, already feeling the weight of the decision.

"That doesn't matter! Donnie was there. . .he was right there. . ."

Before anyone could say another comforting word, Mikey brushed passed everyone, taking the lead, his head hung low.

What started out as finding a lost brother had turned in to how to heal a broken one. . .

Chapter Text

He couldn't see straight, his feet shook with each step. His eyes were glazed over as his breathing quickened harshly. He couldn't believe the interaction that had transpired. For weeks he pictured the reunion of his family. What was often a source of comfort now only brought goosebumps to his already cold skin. How often did he imagine a warm embrace, surrounded by comforting words that were so unlike the ones he heard in his nightmares? Far too long from the way his heart ached. His brothers, they were right there. He felt the need to go to them, thinking if he prayed for their forgiveness they wouldn't hate him for the choices he made. Yet, he couldn't move towards them.

The fear was far too great. How often did he feel that warm embrace suddenly shrink away and torment him endlessly through the late nights? As he looked at their faces, all he could see, all he could hear were their haunting words filled with a vile hate.

After everything he faced, how could he go back? Even if the want exceeded his fear, he knew there wasn't a possibility of them accepting him back into their sacred family. Raphael made that abundantly clear.

Donnie had only heard such anger directed towards him in his deepest nightmares. He always tried to comfort himself, saying silly little words that his big brother would never hate him. They were the middle siblings, they understood each other, they got along through arguments and that was how they liked it. With each passing nightmare, Donnie wasn't so sure his relationship with Raph was as strong as he thought it would be. Nonetheless, he still hoped his big brother didn't see him as the pathetic nerd he saw himself as.

No, Raph didn't see him that way. Raph saw him much, much worse. He was a monster. An enemy.

Leo, his eldest brother. The one that he had foolishly believed was trying to help him, barely uttered a word. All these years, all he wanted was to impress his brother. Prove to him he was skilled enough. That tradition wasn't the only method in a fight. Complex machinery could win a fight and still be considered honorable. The one he fought so hard to impress, was shattered by his simple flinching.

The rage that was secreted, a majority of it coming from Raph, some he could feel from Mik-. . .it scared Donnie. He couldn't help but get defensive. He didn't want them to see he was the weak turtle they often thought of him as, that he thought himself as. He wanted to show them he was stronger. He wanted to prove to them he wasn't a defenseless weakling.

He never imagined himself yelling at his brothers with the same volume. It wasn't like him. He was the pacifist. The quiet little genius that was supposedly okay with everything.

But that was then, this was now. Donnie was at the point where it was his decision where to go, what to do. It was a position he was used to, but dreaded. During previous missions, he would be asked time and time again what to do to whether or not he knew the answer. It was a responsibility that scared him, but it wasn't like he could show it. If he lost his temperance, it would result in utter chaos for everyone else.

This time was different. This was a matter of what he wanted, of what he felt was the right decision. Not anyone else.

'What is it you want Donatello?'

A voice inside himself asked constantly. Truthfully, all he wanted was a safe space. He didn't want to feel the burden of his emotions. He was tired of the uneasy feeling that grew in his gut. The endless night terrors and constant anxiety of what was going to happen next. The questions of whether or not he would have enough strength to get through each passing day.

Was it too much to ask for?

Donnie felt the warmth of someone's embrace as he trudged out of the room he had just been in. The room his brothers were in. Osamu had sent him out here and he listened like an obedient dog. That couldn't be all he was now. This was his choice to make, his choice, not anyone else's.

"Don, you need to take deep breaths, at this rate you're going to pass out." Katsumi said calmly, keeping a steady hand on Donatello's shell as she guided him through the hallway.

Her voice was barely audible in his clouded head. He couldn't think straight. There was too much going on. Raph hated him, Osamu was still making his decisions, and how he didn't even know what he wanted at this point.

It was all too much. . .he couldn't. . .

"Donnie! Breath!" Katsumi yelled in a panic tone. As Donatello began to go limp in her arms.

He couldn't feel the way she tugged on his arms, the rubbing on his shell, nor the way she tried to shake him. He couldn't feel anything. His eyes gazed up at the ceiling. Was this it? Had he reached rock bottom yet again? It seemed he truly was meant for a life with constant struggle. The emotional turmoil proved that much.

He felt himself disconnect from the world, almost weightless. He became lost in his mind. A place he once sought comfort, but now it was only a place of fear and hopelessness.

His family didn't want him. Raph was beyond angry at him. Leo looked at him as if he was a disgrace. He swore he never saw such disappointment and pain from Leo as he did right there. It was as if he was seeing a living nightmare.

And then there was Mikey. . .His sweet little bother, standing there, shocked. The little brother he had always swore to protect, the one he strived to impress and act as a good influence for. The one who no longer needed him saw him just as the others did in Donnie's mind. A disgrace.

The world around him grew fuzzy, the corners of his eyes were becoming blackened as he felt his head tilt forward, towards his plastron.

"Donnie please, I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. You're safe. Please, take a deep breath."

But he couldn't. He was trapped. He saw visions of his brothers. Their continuous yelling, their disappointed looks. He couldn't tell the difference between what was real and what was made up.

It was all just too much. . .

"Donatello."

Donnie felt a new presence interacting with his own. He quickly panned his head to the side, meeting Osamu's eyes. The last he had seen Osamu was when he had gently guided Donnie out of the room with his brothers. Where Donnie had requested one thing.

"Please, don't hurt them. . ."

It was the least Donnie felt he could do for them. After everything he put them through all these years. After years of being nothing but incompetent.

"Donatello, please, can you hear me?" Osamu asked. "Please, you need to relax, you're brothers. They're gone now. You're safe. Focus on the sound of my voice. You are not at fault. I'm sorry that I let that happen. It will never come to pass again. But please, you must know that you don't have to prove anything to them. You do not need to worry about how they feel. They're the ones that hurt you."

"They're the. . .ones" Donnie muttered, closing his eyes tightly as he tried to control his breathing.

"Exactly. This is your safe space now."

"My. . .safe space. . ."Donnie whispered before falling limp in Osamu's arms.

"He'll be okay." Osamu said before gently throwing the turtle over his shoulder. "I'll take him back to his room."

"Not so fast." Katsumi warned, pulling on Osamu's arms. "You lied to him. You told him you didn't mean to let his brothers find him when I know you did. You ordered the soldiers not to follow them, you intentionally left all our information unsecured so Karai would find it. You let her soldier follow us here so they would know where our HQ is at!"

"I don't see why you're getting so upset over this." Osamu commented, turning away and walking down the hall.

Katsumi scoffed. "Osamu, don't you see what you're doing? You forced him into a confrontation too early! You just couldn't wait to see him stand on your side so you let his brother get angry. You let everything transpire with a stupid grin on your face. Don't you get it? He had a panic attack!" She yelled.

"He's fine." Osamu said, glaring at Katsumi.

"No he's not! He hasn't been 'fine' since we kidnapped him and he won't be 'fine' the longer he stays. I hate to admit it but this place, you, with everyday it grows more toxic than the environment we took him fr-'' Katsumi suddenly gasped, her hand flying to the red mark on her face as Osamu retracted his hand.

Grabbing Katsumi's forearm, Osamu threatened, "If you say or do anything to him that makes him have second thoughts about me and being here, he will pay the price for your insolence." Osamu said, tossing Katsumi aside, as if he had forgotten their previous friendship.

All the dreams, the letters, the work that was put into a beautiful reality had now turned into a nightmare and Katsumi was going to do whatever she could to make it end.

Mikey was the first to enter the lair, his brothers following closely behind, correction, his brothers minus one. He hands clenched into fists, sticking tightly to his side. Donnie was right there. He saw him, he saw his missing brother with his own eyes. A sight that was both magnificent but expectedly horrifying. He imagined the reunion with Donnie. He pictured a slightly injured brother, ready to be back in their family. He practiced how he would hug his brother. He talked to him while he spent hours in his lab. He prepped so hard only to find Donnie so broken that he was flinching away from them. That he practically switched his identities.

Mikey held onto the purple fabric tightly. He hadn't dared to let it go since Osamu had teased them with it. It was all he felt he had of his brother. The brother he so desperately wanted at the moment. The one they all needed.

He couldn't get Donnie's figure out of his head. True, Donnie had always been on the thin side. He was the tall and lanky kind of turtle, but this Donnie. He was so hallowed. The muscles he used to have looked worn and barely visible. Though, that wasn't what scared Mikey.

He could see Donnie's plastron and some parts of his skin and it was terrifying. He was heavily scarred. If Mikey knew anything about Donnie, it was that he didn't give up easily. Especially if it concerned them. He knew that Donnie had to have gone through something unbelievably hard for him to strip away his identity and not let them bring him home. Throughout the years, they all faced their own independent trauma but usually they were all there to support each other and do whatever was needed. Donnie was left alone for four months without any of them. All he had for support were the people that worked for Osamu and that was it.

He couldn't stand to be in the comfort of their home knowing Donnie was still out there, believing they didn't care about him. Not that they gave him any reason to think otherwise.

Mikey turned his head towards Raph. He wanted to yell. He wanted to scream so badly at his brother but he refused to do so. He knew Raph. His brother was already giving himself the wringer and cursing himself out for what he had done. Still, Mikey couldn't let go of his anger immediately.

Donnie was right there and Raph had yelled at him. Raph, the one who had been blaming himself for the unnecessary anger he always directed at Donnie, did it once again. It was as if he didn't stop and think there was a reason.

Then there was Leo, solely believing that he was the reason. Mikey knew all too well about Leo's struggle with his nightmares. He knew Leo had fears that Donnie would turn against them and what did he do? He let his emotions loose and all at once. He couldn't even stand from the hysterical state he was in.

And what did he do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing! He didn't try to talk to Donnie, he didn't stop his brother from leaving. He just let Raph guide them out and left with empty threats.

He was angry, he was angry at himself, at his brothers, at Osamu. Osamu was the cause of all this but Mikey felt he was used to help. That he was just a pawn in some stupid game aimed to capture his brother. He felt useless. Once again, he was just standing there, not doing a single thing to save Donnie.

"Are you okay Mikey?" April asked softly as walked closer to him. Mikey turned his head towards her, catching glimpses of everyone. Raph was on the floor, his head hidden in his arms. Leo was sitting on the couch, his head hung low, while Karai and Casey met Mikey's gaze.

"Okay? Okay! What would I be okay? We just left Donnie! We actually saw him! And we just left him. . ."

"Mikey, I know how you feel but We will get him back, I promise." April said, realizing that the same words were spoken to her a few years back. She placed a gentle hand on Mikey's shoulder, fully understanding his emotions. She wanted to get him back then and there. She could feel his complex emotions and they were horrifying. There was a dark aura hanging over what used to be something bright and warm. It wasn't the Donnie she knew. The Donnie that had become her best friend. She wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and let him know how much he meant to her. How much they needed and missed him. To tell him that it wasn't his tech that made it so hard to live without him, it was much more than that.

But at the moment, she could feel the anger growing inside Mikey. She could sense the ideas forming in his head. She had a suspicion of what he was going to do but she didn't have the heart to stop him from. She knew all Mikey wanted was his big brother and April couldn't bear to get in his way.

"I just. . .he must be so hurt. . .so broken. . ." Mikey muttered, letting his fists fall.

"I know. But we're going to get him back and make sure to help through this. I believe in us and I believe in Donnie." April said, trying her best to calm Mikey.

Mikey didn't say anything in response, it was becoming too difficult to keep his anger in check despite April's words. He didn't want to start anything, but he couldn't let what happened wash away. It happened way too often. Someone would do something, something big, and it would get unresolved. He was done.

"He doesn't believe in us. Not anymore." Mikey said harshly, turning away from April.

"What's that supposed to mean." Raph groaned, lifting his head slightly.

"What do you think, Raph? You yelled at him! You didn't give him a chance to explain himself, you just kept on pointing the finger at the wrong person and now he has more of a reason not to trust us!"

"Don't start with me Mikey," Raph said, standing up, "You don't think I'm mad at myself? I'm furious!"

"I know you're mad at yourself Raph! I hate that you are but do I need to remind you? We can't focus on our own emotions right now. Donnie needs us more than ever and we have to go back for him." Mikey countered.

"And then what Mikey?" Leo jumped in, "Apologize? Ask for forgiveness? Donnie made it perfectly clear that we screwed up and he wants nothing to do with us. We failed and Donnie made his choice." He said dejectedly.

"No he didn't! Osamu chose for him. I know Donnie. I know he's not fully set on leaving us. We just have to show him that we haven't abandoned him." Mikey pleaded.

"Forget it Mikey. After what I did. . .Donnie's never coming back." Raph said before walking away, slamming his bedroom door.

"R-Raph!" Mikey yelled. He turned to face Leo, only to see his brother depart from the couch.

"We failed Mikey. Donnie made his choice and there's nothing we can do about it. . ." Leo whispered before hiding away in his own room.

Mikey's hand met empty space as his two elder brothers abandoned the room, leaving him in near tears.

"Mikey-" Karai spoke before being interrupted.

"I'm going back." Mikey said sharply.

"What?" Casey gapped, falling off the couch.

"I'm going back for him." He said again, walking towards the dojo. "I can't stand being here knowing he's so close. I need to talk to him. I need to get to the bottom of this." He stated sharply.

"Are you sure?" April asked, resting a hand on Mikey's shoulder. "You only just got back home, it might be best to give it some time."

Her suggestion was left unanswered as Mikey fitted himself with a new grappling hook and some new wrappings. Stuffing Donnie's mask in his belt, he exited the dojo with the others following closely behind.

"Mikey please-"

"Don't try to stop me April." Mikey said as he headed towards the turnstiles.

"I'm not trying to stop you Mikey, I want to go with you." She stated with determination.

"Really?" He asked, turning to face her just before he could leave.

"You guys go," Karai said, "Casey and I will try to talk to the guys or at least make sure they don't find out."

"Then it's settled?" April asked, looking up at Mikey.

"Let's go."

Chapter Text

Mikey kept his gaze solely on the building ahead and nothing else. Nothing else mattered at that point. All he could focus on was the way his adrenaline rushed through his body for the second time that night. He was ready for this, he knew he could do it. All he needed was a couple minutes alone with his brother. That's all he wanted. Mikey needed answers and he knew Donnie needed a hug. There was something, pieces of information they both were missing that they needed desperately. Mikey was sick of trying to solve this puzzle Osamu had created, but solving it could mean Donnie's return.

Mikey's biggest fear out of his secret mission was that he would make matters worse. He wasn't dumb, nor did he think he was smart enough for this, but if there was a chance Donnie could be brought back, Mikey knew he was the best chance. He knew Donnie, sometimes better than the genius knew himself. He knew he could get Donnie to explain his side of everything without a physical confrontation.

Donnie wasn't the only peaceful loving brother in the family. Mikey felt it in his gut he could accomplish something from this. He didn't care if Raph or Leo yelled at him for going off on his own. What was he to do? Bring them? In his mind, Raph wasn't the best company right now. He was the most confrontational, bringing him would do nothing but probably overwhelm their already overwhelmed brother. Leo wasn't as good either. He could barely support his own weight from his emotions, but it wasn't like Mikey came alone.

He looked over to April as she ran along with him. Mikey was perfectly okay with the redhead coming with him. She would be able to help him locate Donnie's location and could even provide extra muscle if he needed some. But even Mikey knew there was a deeper reason for her wanting to come with him.

He knew April had been beating herself over these past couple of months. She was as bad as them when it came to the guilt and need to find Donnie. She was one of Donnie's close friends. Donnie had done so much for her, sacrificed for her. Mikey knew and understood the look of pure guilt and it radiated off of April for weeks. He didn't know who else knew, but Mikey remembered times when he would not only hear Leo's sobs, but April's as well. There were some nights Mikey would catch her at the lab doors, offering up so many apologies and promises that would only end up shattered.

Those nights, he never confronted her. He would simply let her relieve herself of her emotions before offering small sources of comfort. He hated that it was all he could do, but it wasn't easy trying to help someone through a problem he was still struggling through.

He remembered seeing her heartbroken expression earlier that night when they left the building. April barely got to say anything to Donnie before he had left the room and Osamu had entered. He remembered her gasp as he teasingly tossed them Donnie's mask. It was a piece of Donnie, a piece of the Donnie they missed. A symbol of hope that he wasn't past the point of no return.

Mikey reached towards the mask again, confirming it was still safely tucked away in his belt. Memories of when they all received their masks played through his head. It happened before any of them were given their weapons. Splinter had said they were special, that these fabrics were a symbol of their identities. Leo, stability and wisdom. Raph, passion and strength. Donnie, a combination between the brothers that came before him with a mix of creativity. Mikey, the color of joy, with his own sense of creativity. The colors they wore became who they were, it represented their personalities.

And Donnie had given his up. . .

Mikey couldn't understand it, so what if he had trouble understanding everything else, this was different. It wasn't the question of how Donnie could do the action, it was more on the line of how hard was he pushed to do it. What did Osamu do to make his brother give up who he was?

That's why Mikey just stood still. Shocked from Donnie's appearance, he couldn't do anything. He did nothing.

Well, that was soon going to change. He was going to get to the bottom of this, no matter how long it was going to take. He would find Donnie again. They were going to talk.

The teens skidded to a stop on the same rooftop they had been on earlier before. The moon that had once been in the center of the sky was now lowering. The sky was tinted with a deep purple and barely lit blue hue, signaling the sun was soon to rise. They had to be quick. They couldn't afford to cause commotion when it would only take a couple more hours till humans would stir chaos.

Mikey observed the ground below. Soldiers were beginning to settle inside, grabbing materials and supplies that littered the concrete. He turned his head to April, seeing she was deep in concentration.

"We can sneak in through the ventilation systems. I can sense him but it's all fuzzy, I need a closer look."

"Why can't we go through the way we came in earlier?" Mikey asked, not looking forward to crawling through a tight space.

"Last time there were barely any guards, this time, it's like the whole building is on lockdown." April said. "I think they wanted us to get inside earlier."

"But why?"

"Most likely for Osamu's entertainment. He probably wanted to make sure that if given the opportunity Donnie would choose to stay with him." She replied, stretching out her muscles.

"Donnie didn't choose though! Even if Donnie didn't want to come with us, Osamu was the one who had him leave." Mikey quietly yelled.

"I know, before he left, I could feel his emotions. . .they were so chaotic. They were all over the place. . it was like he was a lost child." April said softly. "Mikey?"

"Yeah. . .?" He asked nervously.

"Please, let him know we love and miss him. . .You're the only one I think he still trusts."

"Don't worry April, I know I can do this." Mikey said, trying to keep up a confident tone.

They nodded in understanding and left to an open shaft they found near the top of the building. Mikey quietly followed behind April, hoping her senses would bring them to the right place. Everything about earlier was slowly starting to make sense. Why it took them so long to run into any guards. Osamu wanted them to find Donnie but for what? A sick test to see where Donnie stood? Mikey got that part but he couldn't figure out something else. Why didn't Donnie see what was happening? He was the most logical. He wasn't naive all the time, only when it came to his sciences and April. Other than that, he was closed up and on guard. Once again, Mikey was led to the same question over and over again.

'What exactly did Osamu do?'

After what seemed like forever to Mikey, April had taken one final turn before signaling them both to exit. She peeked out a vent, scouting for any guards. Satisfied with the area, she lifted herself out, offering a hand for Mikey. He thankfully took it, entering an open room that looked to be used for storage. Various cleaning and extra weapons hung from racks. It was larger than a usual cleaning closet much to Mikey's luck as he stretched out his legs.

"Okay, Donnie is down the hall, last door on your left. There's a few guards but you shouldn't have any trouble sneaking past them. From what I can tell, Donnie' alone and Osamu isn't anywhere near." April explained, tying her hair up in a tight bun.

"Got it, but what are you going to do, April?" Mikey asked.

"I'm going to look around, see if I can find anything about Osamu or what his plans are. I'll try to stay close, call me if something goes wrong." She said, resting a hand on Mikey's shoulder.

"Same goes for you."

They both nodded once again before quietly opening the door. April scoped the area a few times before letting Mikey exit the room first. With one last nod, April departed to the opposite end of the hall as Mikey crept through the other end. His gut tingled, as if it warned him of what was ahead. He started to panic slightly. What was he going to say? How was he supposed to start if Donnie would even let him get that far? Despite his anxieties about his starter lines, Mikey was beginning to question why was Donnie even alone? Osamu had gotten his confrontation out of the way and was clearly making sure that Donnie wouldn't be found again, so why was his brother alone, in a barely guarded hallway?

Watching his footing, Mikey reached the last door on his left side. He peeked over the corner and noticed a couple soldiers engaged in a seemingly harmless conversation, unaware of his presence. He sighed in relief, looking back at his destination. He was surprised to find sliding rice paper doors, similar to the ones he had grown up looking at now and again. From the outside the room seemed large enough to act as a dojo, but why would Donnie be in here? Mikey shook his head. There were too many questions in his mind and it was seriously causing his head to hurt.

He took a deep breath and slid the doors open.

April quickly ran down the halls, using all of her stealth to stay hidden. She had run past several groups of ninjas who luckily hadn't noticed her amongst themselves. It seemed they were all off duty despite being designated guards. She hoped Mikey had received no trouble and was talking to Donnie while Osamu was still on the other side of the building. All she could do was look around and try to buy Mikey as much time as he needed.

Her heart ached for this night to go right. It started out with so much love and determination but had quickly scaled to one of strife and anger. She wanted to come back, she needed to come back. If Donnie had been in any of their shoes he wouldn't have left. If it had been her captured, Donnie would've done everything to get her back. He always did everything he could for her and what had she done? She left with everyone else. Of course he didn't want to come back, she couldn't blame him. . .

Right when they got home, she was ready to head back out but couldn't. Everyone else was tired and an emotional wreck, herself included, but she couldn't deny what her heart was telling her. Her senses begged to come back. She was being pulled here. At first she thought it was to find Donnie but when she saw Mikey leave, she knew instantly that it was up to him to help Don, not her. She was needed here for something else. Something she hadn't found yet.

As she ran down the halls, once again sneaking past multiple guards, she nearly gasped. Her body stopped suddenly. She saved herself from face planting onto the floor. She looked around, no one was near. She sensed no nearby presences. Backing up a few steps, April felt a crushing weight. Her head rapidly gazed around, her eyes landing on a door that was right across from her. It blended in with the blackened hallways and didn't appear to have any special features. Yet, she was being pulled towards it. There was something in there, something she needed to see.

She made sure the halls were clear before slowly approaching the door, her heart beat increased with each step. Her arm shakily reached out, with a firm turn of the knob, the door opened much to her surprise.

With a deep breath, she entered the room.

Closing the door quickly behind her, she realized it was pitch black. Her fingers felt along the nearest wall, bumping into what felt like a switch. A click later, the room was illuminated with a single light bulb that looked to be on it's last days. It shone a dull yellow hue, barely casting away the shadows of the room.

She expected some huge secret under wraps but was met with a bunch of filing cabinets. A large desk was in the center, scattered with various papers. A single tv laid in the corner opposite of her with a VHS system. Other than that, the room was pretty much empty. Why would her senses lead her here? There wasn't anything that immediately caught her eye, but then again, if something told her she needed to be here, she couldn't judge on looks alone.

She leaned over the desk, sorting through the mess of papers and sticky notes, her eyes grew wide as she looked closer. These weren't random papers, they were notes. . . about Donnie. Her heart raced once more as she searched through the various papers, reading them to herself.

'Donatello received over ten shocks today and only several beatings, about the same as yesterday. Though today, he seemed a little less hesitant to speak out and deny that any of my methods were working. He was too focused on trying not to let the words of his brothers get to him. We're only a month in, one more month and I think he'll be all set for the last method. Then, we can get some real work done.'

April was speechless. The paper was written by Osamu, all of these were but that wasn't what made her continue. They were all about Donnie and. . .what happened.

Against her better judgment, she picked up another document.

'With each day we grow closer and closer to breaking him. He's starting to lose touch with Michelangelo and has stopped clinging to O'Neil. His connection with the other humans have shattered as well as the ones with Raphael and Leonardo, though it has gotten quite amusing to hear him still call out for them. "Aniki! Raphie!" He'll shout. I know I started this experiment to help the turtle but hearing him cry out, it almost feels too good to hear someone else suffer the way I have.'

Her eyes filled with tears, she didn't even know the specifics of what was being done but it sounded more awful than she ever could have imagined. She picked up another one, surprised to see that it was written on today's date.

'Donatello's brothers will be coming shortly as I predicted. I'm quite surprised that they waited a while until finally coming but I guess they're just afraid of making any mistakes. Figures. Anyway, I sent Donatello to an area they should be able to get to easily. It is time to see if he truly is on my side. If so, I think I'll take him back to Japan soon. I don't want his brothers to cause an interference and actually get through to him. No, he needs to be somewhere where I know he'll be away from them but where I can keep a close eye. I've started to get him back into training and have talked to him about inventing again. He seems to be okay with the idea, meaning I'll be finally able to use his abilities to my advantage once and for all.'

The papers she had gathered fell to the floor. Osamu was going to take Donnie back to Japan and keep him hidden forever. They had to get him out, as soon as possib-

"Ah!" April seethed, holding her foot up. She had unintentionally hit something against her toe. Looking down on the floor, she noticed a VHS tape. She turned her head curiously and picked it up from the floor. She once again gasped. There was a thin strip of tape, with the label 'Leonardo'. She walked over to the tv, her curiosity growing too much for her to bear. She found a button on the lower edge of the tv. She successfully turned it on and slipped the tape in. As she waited for it to rewind, her fingers ran alongside the cabinet that was right beside her. She took a quick peek in and found files labeled with all their names. She leaned in closer, seeing the names 'April, Casey, Karai, Michelangelo, Leonardo, and Raphael. She picked up the one with her own labeling and scoffed.

There was a small description of her and a list of all the negative things she had done to Donnie. She pulled out her phone, taking a quick picture of hers, and everyone else's. She didn't have enough time to look at each one but felt they were needed. As she took the final picture, the VHS system clicked, informing her that the tape was ready to be viewed.

She expected videos of Leo. Perhaps videos that were taken while they were out on patrol.

She couldn't believe what she saw. . .

Instead of Leo, it was a shot of Donnie, at least what looked to be Donnie. He was cuffed to some kind of chair with a devilish helmet that covered his eyes. He was struggling hopelessly, screaming for something to be stopped. April almost turned the tv off right there but she couldn't look away. It didn't feel right to see Donnie in such a broken state, yet, she stayed still as the clip played.

"Make it stop! Please! Leo. . .please stop. . ."

"But he never did stop, did he Donatello? No, he kept judging you. He criticized everything you did for your family because in his eyes it wasn't the right way."

"It was never right. . .I was always shut down. . ."

"Leonardo cares nothing for what you do. He never did and he never will."

"He never will. . ."

April turned off the tv. She couldn't see anymore. She wasn't sure exactly what Donnie was seeing, but by the dialogue, it had to do with Leo and their relationship. Osamu, he had done something to show Donnie that Leo didn't care.

April felt tears roll down her face. Was this what Donnie faced? While they were here, together, Donnie was facing an endless cycle of torture that included the breaking of their bonds? April scooped up a few papers she had yet looked at and the ones she had read over. The guys needed to see these. Donnie needed to see these. They had to get him out of here. Before Osamu could inflict anymore damage.

She gave one more look at the tv before getting a peek of the outside. She nearly screamed as Osamu's figure passed her along with multiple soldiers.

"What do you mean you don't know where he's at? Find him! Do you not know how spontaneous his brothers can be? They're probably on their way back right now!" He shouted as he ran down the halls.

April wanted to follow but feared she would only be caught. She sent a quick text to Mikey, informing him that Osamu was getting close. As much as she wanted to help, she didn't want to disturb Mikey and Donnie right now, that was the last thing they needed, but if Osamu did find them. She knew Mikey could take care of himself. Slipping out of the room, she used her senses to help her find a safe exit that was close enough to Mikey if he needed her and gave her enough stealth to stay hidden away from anyone's peering eyes.

She only hoped she wouldn't be escaping with only one turtle tonight.

"Donnie!" Mikey shouted with glee, seeing his brother kneeling on the tatami mat, in the center of the room. His heart growing full at the sight.

"Agh! Mikey!" Donnie shouted, unaware of what was going on, "How many times do I have to tell you to kn-" He suddenly stopped, his head quickly turning to meet Mikey. "M-Mikey?" Donnie asked fearfully, getting up on his legs, taking a few steps backwards.

After the night's events, Osamu had asked Donnie to go and stay in his room, and possibly try to get some rest, but he couldn't. He felt overwhelmed with emotion and couldn't even close his eyes. So, he went to the only place he knew would help ease his troubled mind. The dojo. Not even Katsumi knew he was there, but it was the only place he knew of that offered a small sense of comfort. The only place where his nightmares didn't plague him as badly. Especially after the night's events.

Seeing his brothers, after all this time, it was overwhelming, it was unexpected, it was unbelievable. And now, Mikey. His little brother was right here, seemingly alone. . .He didn't know what to think at this point. . .not that he spent a whole lot of time thinking. His mind was a dangerous place right now. He couldn't afford to dwell on his thoughts for long periods of time anymore.

He shook his head, opting to focus on the sight of his brother. What was he to do? He could go out and yell for someone, maybe Katsumi was near? But, his feet were like stone. He couldn't move, he couldn't say anything. It was almost like he was back in that place. . .in that chair. He couldn't move then, all he could do was take in the harsh words that his brothers yelled at him, over and over again.

"Take it easy Don, don't worry." Mikey said, noticing Donnie's distress. "I'm not here to hurt you. Look, if you want me to leave, I'll leave. I just want some answers, D. Please, and then if you want me to get out of your life forever, I will." Mikey said, his voice cracking.

Donnie was about to deny Mikey's request, he could feel the words were ready to flow through but he couldn't get himself to say anything. As he looked into Mikey's pleading eyes, he knew he couldn't say no. "Okay Mikey. . .you have five minutes."

Mikey smiled. "So. . .um, how are you?" He asked nervously, not really knowing what to say.

"It's hard to explain. . .but I guess 'fine'?" Donnie lied.

"Nice try, I mean how do you really feel Don?" Mikey asked again, saddened that he was met with no response.

"Look, I'm just gonna cut to the chase. . .Donnie, do you believe me when I say that you were in Japan these last couple of months?" He asked.

Donnie turned his head away. Truthfully, he hadn't had much time to really process the information. He wanted to deny it but it wasn't like he had much proof. When Osamu had captured him he was knocked out and had a terribly bad headache afterwards. The same thing happened recently. He went to bed one night and woke up feeling like he had been asleep for a day. During his capture, he was never given the chance to go outside, not until recently that is.

With not being able to think properly and not being able to actually see the outside world, Donnie didn't know who to believe. Though the odds weren't in Osamu's favor.

"I don't know. . .I guess, but-"

"You don't want to admit it because somehow you believe Osamu is the good guy here, right?" Mikey asked almost accusingly.

"And? So what if I do?" Donnie replied sharply.

"Donnie, don't you see? He lied to you about being in New York to make you think we weren't looking for you! Donnie, we spent everyday looking for you. We barely got any sleep, or any food because we spent all of our time searching for you!"

"I-"

"Don't you get it? We're a mess without you Donnie. Not because of your technological skills but because of your personality, who you are! We miss you so freaking much D. Leo, Raph. . they're a mess. . I'm. . .I can't do this anymore Donnie. I can't keep hoping that we're going to save you. . .please Donnie. We love you and we're here for you. We're always going to be right here."

Donnie was speechless. Too many times he heard that he wasn't wanted, only needed for his skills, but. . .he was too scared. . .too scared to trust a bond that had been shattered once before.

"Donnie please, don't let Osamu continue to make decisions for you. You have to decide for yourself where you want to go, and believe me, we're not going to hurt you. We will never hurt you again Donnie. Please!" Mikey pleaded.

Once again, Donnie didn't respond. His heart was racing with adrenaline but he couldn't muster up anything to say.

"Donnie c'mon! Does our relationship mean nothing to you?!" He yelled.

"IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME, MIKEY!" Donnie shouted with a force Mikey didn't think was possible for his brother. Donnie looked to Mikey, not knowing what else to do. Hugging himself, Donnie slowly began to cry.

"Don't you get it? I want to come home. This place, I can't. . .there's nothing else I want more than to come back but. . ."

"What's stopping you Donnie? Is it us?"

"Yes-no, I don't. . ."

"Is it Osamu?"

"Maybe. . .I"

"Is it you?" Mikey asked.

Time stood still for Donnie. The world around him disappeared and all he could see was Mikey. In his nightmares, the same thing would happen but things were different. Instead of a scornful expression, Mikey was showing nothing but love and concern. It was a face he missed and only saw with Katsumi. But Mikey was here, his little brother was actually here and still loved him. After all this time, Donnie was starting to believe his little brother's words. Maybe, just maybe all those nightmares were really just a lie. Maybe everything Osamu had been telling him was a lie. Perhaps, Osamu was the real-

"What is the meaning of this?!" Osamu roared. Shoving the doors aside, he wasted no time and moved in between Donnie and Mikey.

"You! How dare you!" Mikey shouted as he pulled out his nuchucks.

"Donatello. Get to your room, now!" Osamu shouted, keeping his eyes solely focused on Mikey.

"But-" Donnie tried to counter.

"Now." He warned.

Donnie nodded quickly, he headed towards the doors but he couldn't leave. He didn't want to continue listening to Osamu's commands like a dog. He knew he needed to see what was going to happen.

He watched as Mikey and Osamu circled each other, weapons drawn. He felt Katsumi take his hand but he refused to move. Something was telling him he had to stay. He wanted to stay. Thankfully, without hearing him speak, Katsumi received the message and stood by his side.

"How could you do this to my brother? He never did anything to you!" Mikey shouted, landing a hit on Osamu's chest.

"I did what was best for him." Osamu countered, Blocking several of Mikey's kicks.

"How do you know what's best for him? You hardly know him! I've known him my whole life!"

"And yet he still didn't go with you! Osamu yelled, slashing Mikey's shoulder with his katana.

"You made that choice for him!" Mikey yelled back, ignoring the pain.

"Does it matter? I've led him to believe the truth behind your brotherhood."

"No you haven't because it's not true! It's you that's trying to use his smarts," Mikey landed a punch, "you that doesn't see any use in who he really IS!" He yelled, knocking Osamu to the floor. Taking some deep breaths, Mikey looked over at Donnie, offering a smile that Donnie had begun to return, before his face turned to terror.

"And it's you that will perish." Osamu said threateningly, knocking Mikey to the floor, preparing his final strike.

"NO!"

In a split second, Mikey saw the sword swing down, and in the next, saw another blade blocking it. He followed the naginata until he realized he was staring at the back of Donnie's maskless head, his black one discarded to where he was standing.

Donnie looked Osamu in the eyes, keeping a glare. His whole body shook with fear but he would not let it show.

"Mikey, get out of here." Donnie said quietly.

Mikey almost argued, but decided against it. He knew what he needed to do.

Donnie breathed a sigh of relief as he saw Mikey leave but it was short lived as he felt immediate pain to his weapon fell to the floor as his hands went to where Osamu had hit.

"What was that?" Osamu asked, standing over Donnie.

"Y-you we're going to kill him!"

"And? Why do you care."

"Because he's my brother! And he's more of a family to me than you'll ever be!" Donnie shouted.

"So all it takes is for him to say he loves you for you to want to go crawling back. Are you really that pathetic? That naive?"

"No, it's that he c-came back for me." Donnie answered, trying to lift himself off of the floor.

"And here I thought you were the smart one. . ."

Chapter Text

Splinter gazed peacefully at the bright skies, the scent of a fresh summer breeze hugged his nostrils, as his breathing was relaxed. He could feel his spirit roam freely as he surveyed the great astral plane. He always dreamed about becoming one with the spirit world, and now here he was, holding the hand of his beloved Teng Shan as they both happily took in the sights around them.

He didn't remember a time where he fully got to enjoy the precious gifts of the seasons. All those years of having to hide his presence to the world made it nearly impossible for moments like these.

Another deep exhale escaped him. Another breeze passed by, and another small squeeze from his spouse. Finally, a part of him was complete and yet. . . another part was incomplete. He had entered the spirit world only to leave behind what remained in the world of the living. His family, his daughter, his four magnificent sons. Splinter could feel his spirit tighten. His sons were no longer with him, nor would they be for a while. There was still so much he wanted to say to each of them. He had many more lessons and wisdom to impart. Many more moments he wanted to share with them.

How fortunate he was to have such amazing sons, to be able to reunite with his daughter only to have another in return. To even take in another who was at first afraid of his appearance. To have a family consisting of seven children and yet not be able to witness the many milestones they had yet to complete. Watching Leonardo master all that was ninjutsu. Giving Raphael the attention he was graving, watching him become as strong as ever, maybe even be the first of his siblings to marry. Witnessing Donatello's biggest creations and inventions, perhaps finally contributing to the world. Admiring Michelangelo for his countless artworks, food creations, and giving him the recognition for all his activities that may not seem as important as his elder siblings.

Watching April advance, perhaps going to one of Casey's hockey games. Seeing his daughter overcome all the Shredder forced her into and help her to blossom into her own person.

How fortunate he was to have such a family. . .how fleeting the time was.

He often looked back. Questioning if he did what was right. Was he the parent he always wanted to be? Oh how he wished for more time. As beautiful as the spirit world was, it couldn't be home without them. He loved the presence of his wife dearly, but she had her own space in his old heart. She was the missing void back in reality, while his sons were now the missing voids in this reality.

Though, he knew he wasn't the only end struggling. As soon as he left, he could feel the emotions of his children. The fear, the sadness, the anger. . . They managed without him before but those times he was never truly gone. There was always hope for him to return. He watched as the hopelessness settled. How was he to ever forgive himself? His children needed him, he abandoned them. Tang Shen had helped. She offered encouragement and support as they both watched their children handle the aftermath. Splinter couldn't be more proud to see them face their final enemies and win. Yet. . a win didn't mean the grieving process would be any easier.

He feared for Leonardo. He was the eldest, he was the one who would take over and lead the family fully. His child already had so much weighing on his shoulders. His brothers depended on him for security, along with their friends. His leadership helped to guide them, yet without Splinter, Leonardo was left to guide himself. Him and Leonardo always had the closest bond, seeing his son pushing himself after his passing was something Splinter wished he had never seen. He could feel his son's emotions, how grief was threatening to take hold. Thankfully. . . Leonardo had been one to accept and overcome his emotions. . . though not completely.

With Raphael. . .the son that had always competed for his attention. His son had always tried to stand above Leonardo and earn his praise. Splinter knew immediately Raphael would be the one to have the most challenges with keeping his anger managed. But how could his son not let it engulf him? Raphael's emotions were right to be as they were. Splinter wished he had given his son the attention he graved. To spend more time developing his anger into strength, to help him manage his emotions in the heat of battle. Alas, he hadn't, though Raphael hadn't let himself succumb to the depths of his anger. Something Splinter was incredibly grateful for.

And Michelangelo, his sweet youngest child. Splinter thanked the gods for his precious son. Splinter would often second guess his young child, but of course in the end, he was always wrong. And just like all the other times, he was wrong. He feared that Michelangelo would be crushed under the weight of his departure, and yet, his son was the one who made the effort to help everyone else heal. He took it upon himself to find the correct methods to process the grieving periods and in doing so, sparked determination in his other sons and helped them. He felt he was indebted to his son for taking such responsibility.

Then there was one. . .his bright young son Donatello. Splinter didn't fear Donatello would take the healing process hard, he knew his son would. Donatello was never one to handle his emotions properly. He often pushed them aside, thinking it was the logical option. Overtime, Splinter noticed how his son's emotions would become bottled and burst from time to time. When the time came he would question his child, Donatello would put on a poker face or find a complex lie to make anyone believe he was truly okay and didn't need anyone to worry for him. With Splinter being gone, he knew his son would do whatever it took to keep his emotions guarded. Sadly, he was right. He watched as his sons did their best to talk with their depressed brother, how time and time again Leonardo would spend hours talking outside Donatello's locked door.

He expected yelling. He expected tears. He expected there to be multiple failures.

But never, would he expect this.

His second youngest child was no longer himself. He was in the hands of an enemy that was the result of Saki's actions. A man named Osamu who held nothing but anger and anguish in his heart. A man that had tortured his child endlessly.

Splinter begged the spirits to be back into the living world. He couldn't bear to hear anymore of Donatello's pleas to help save him. He couldn't stand to hear the cries of his other sons. But that was all he could do. He couldn't comfort them physically. He tried to help each of them but with how heavy everyone's hearts were, it was impossible.

He watched Donatello everyday. Praying his son would conquer the enemy and not be fooled, but he saw that Osamu wasn't the easy going. Splinter would see his son watching manipulated memories play over and over again, forcing Donatello to believe that his brothers weren't truly his brothers. His home was no longer a safe space. Splinter watched as Donatello was forced into choosing death or Osamu's way. He watched as his son fell limply in the confinements of the devilish tank.

He whispered to his son to let go. . .as much as Splinter didn't want Donatello to fall deeper into Osamu's manipulation, it wasn't Donatello's time yet.

Splinter almost felt as broken as his son, watching Donatello discard his purple mask, trading it with a black variation.

He felt like an absolute failure. He wasn't there to help Donatello in the moment his son desperately needed him. He couldn't guide his other sons. . . he felt hopeless. His family seemed broken. Donatello was facing damage that was getting close to unrepairable. His other sons were losing hope and the strength to continue on.

And yet, not all hope was lost.

His sons were finally able to finally see Donatello, after months of nothing, they had finally found him. Splinter's heart ached as he saw each of his sons react to the situation. Leonardo, collapsing from failure. Michelangelo shocked, his mind not even processing what had happened. Raphael, who had succumbed to anger before realizing the harsh words he spoke. Donatello, with his mixed emotions, lashing out. These weren't the brothers he had come to raise and love. They were the product of Osamu's planning and manipulation.

His children needed him so badly and all Splinter could do was helplessly watch. As the shouting strengthened between his middle children, he failed to notice his youngest son fall out of his shocked trance. He watched how Michelangelo took to the offensive side, shielding his brothers from Osamu. He saw Mikey's aura flash with rage and determination. As his three sons departed, Splinter could sense Michelangelo had not finished. And, Splinter was right.

Michelangelo was able to return once again, corning Donatello to finally get some answers. It pained Splinter watching his two youngest argue as though there was nothing else to say. Those were his babies, his youngest children. Donatello was feeling the pressure of making the right choices, finding a place where he could truly be safe from the pain of his inner demons, while Michelangelo suffered the weight of his and his brother's energy. It was hard being the one to spark determination when he was quickly running out of it on his own.

Splinter saw how there were so many words each wanted to say to each other. Michelangelo's list of questions were practically over piling in his mind while Donatello could only hear the shouts of said brother, as he once again felt abandoned.

Splinter was practically on the edge of his seat as he monitored Donatello's emotions closely. All those knots and broken strings had started to become undone and repaired. There was a small spark in his darkened aura. Michelangelo was managing to crack the guarded walls of his immediate elder brother.

But of course, Osamu couldn't let that happen. Splinter growled as the man comforted his son in a fatherly way, silently scolding him to depart to his room. Such a shame Osamu didn't fully understand that Raphael wasn't the only rebel in the family.

Splinter watched as Donatello stayed, while he cheered on Michelangelo as he fought against the enemy. He cheered up until he saw Osamu take the high ground, a blade aimed directly at Michelangelo's unprotected abdomen. He almost couldn't bear to witness the act, until his eye caught on to his other son. He gasped as Donatello pulled out his weapon and ran straight in between Osamu and Michelangelo. Splinter smirked. No matter what form of torture Osamu conflicted, there was nothing on Earth that could take away Donatello's need to protect his baby brother.

Alas, as exciting as it was to see, the emotions in Donatello were once again twisted. He knew he had acted on instinct but he questioned if it reflected his true feelings. Did this mean he truly wanted to go back with his family? He saw as Donatello stared straight into Osamu's eyes. Trying his best to push away the haunting images of his brothers to truly see the man Osamu claimed to be. Even though Splinter noticed the subtle message he gave to Michelangelo, it didn't change that Donatello was still feeling conflicted about where he should truly go.

Now, Michelangelo sprinted across the streets of New York, April closely behind him. Splinter gazed at Donatello, who was in a deep unconscious state while the world around him was in utter chaos. Osamu was now fear stricken that Donatello was not fully under his loyalties and was planning a way to undo all that had been done.

Splinter sighed, giving a gentle kiss to Shen's hand. His family was falling apart and he feared that soon, all the damage would become too permanent to ever fix. . .

"Yoshi, look!" Tang Shen shouted, pointing out into the distant field.

Splinter squinted, he gasped in disbelief. He knew it was possible, but now? Never had his son once. . .He shook his head, gently letting go of Shen's hand, he ran towards the figure.

"Donatello!" He shouted. As he came closer and closer. He noticed how his son was in the form of his young tot self, mask less, and covered in scars.

"Papa!" His son shouted in a young voice, wrapping his little arms around Splinter's neck as he took his child into his arms. For a moment, Splinter feared his son was no longer present in the living world, but as he held his child close he knew his son had only arrived as a temporary spirit.

He knew Leonardo was well trained in the art of visiting the spirit world, yet only doing so when he was in complete control over his emotions. Raphael was decent, and Michelangelo had some secret gifts when it came to the art. Due to the logical part of Donatello, spirit traveling wasn't his strong suit. Yet here his son was. A small tot that was acting on pure emotion. Splinter figured the form was a reflection of how Donatello felt. A scared little child that was lost and only had his father to cling to.

"I-Is it really you?" Donnie asked, tears falling down his young eyes.

"Yes my son, it is me," Splinter said calmly, wiping the stream of tears, "though I am still no longer in the world of the living."

"D-Does that m-m-mean I-I'm. . ."

"Nononono my son, you are still alive. You have only entered this world because you desperately need something." Splinter continued as he rubbed his fingers along Donatello's shell, making notes of the scars that littered his son's body.

"I-I n-need you father. . ." Donnie said, laying his head on Splinter's chest, sniffling.

"Why's that?" Splinter asked.

"I-I'm lost. . .w-when you first left, it took me a while but I was r-really starting to feel back at home, but then. . .the man, he told me that I'm not loved, that he would care for me, like you. . .now. . .he scares me. He scares me papa. . .I just wanna go home but my brothers. . .the nightmares! They won't stop! Please. . .tell me what to do. . ." Donnie sobbed.

Splinter hugged his child closer. His son was being continuously thrown into a fragile state that it would only take one wrong move to ultimately shatter him. As much as Splinter wanted to tell his child to go back home with his brothers, he couldn't. Donatello needed to start making choices for himself once again. The more he let others decide what was best for him, the more fragile and confused he would become. All Splinter could do was give him a nudge in the direction that would ultimately be the best for his son.

"My son, I feel deep sorrow for all that you have gone through and suffered. I wished that I could've been there to shield you from all that pain and anguish. And I know you're deeply conflicted. Anyone in your situation would be. You've faced so much damage, that now it seems your nothing but remains of what used to be. Oh Donatello, I love you so much my child, but I cannot choose the next step for you. For months you've been in the hands of others who were pulling the strings, making the choices of what your life was meant to become. But now, you have reached the point where it is ultimately up to you where you want to go." Splinter replied, lifting Donatello's up.

"My son, you've always been so bright and knowledgeable, so eager yet sensitive to the world around you. I know it's a scary place right now, but you need to look inside yourself Donatello. You need to ask yourself the hard questions and determine the solution without all these clouded emotions darkening your path."

Donnie looked up at Splinter, his tears no longer falling down his face. His father's words struck him in a way that Donatello hadn't felt in a long while.

"F-Father?" He quivered.

"Yes, my child?"

"W-Will I e-ever heal? W-Will the nightmares e-e-ever end?

Splinter gave a relaxed breath, "My son, the healing process will be difficult, perhaps the most difficult task you'll ever face. I can't promise that you'll ever be the person you were beforehand, but then again, that doesn't necessarily mean bad things. If you really put in the effort and trust those around you, I know that the person you are, the son I am always so deeply proud of, will shine through."

"Y-you really think so?"

"I know so." Splinter said, giving Donatello one last squeeze. "The world may be a scary place right now Donatello, do not let yourself be overwhelmed by the fear that others have enforced in you. Let your logic free and your emotions open."

Splinter felt one of his own tears slip as he felt Donatello's presence slowly start to disappear.

"I love you, my son." He said as he felt Shen's hand on his back.

"I love you too, father. . ."

"Father!" Donnie shouted, awaking with a start. His heart pounding faster than what he knew was possible. Did he just. . .? His mind was in utter shock. He saw his Sensei. . .his father. Donnie felt out of breath from the experience yet he could feel a warmth he missed dearly in his heart. He knew it was going to be difficult. Heck, getting out of this place would be a challenge, but he was going to. No matter how long it took, he finally realized that back home, with his brothers. That was where he needed to be. He had to push the nightmares away, he had to go back to them.

With his mind made up, Donnie hopped off the bed he had curiously been laying on-or at least attempted. What was meant as a graceful landing, ended as a painful collision with the floor. Confused and exasperated, Donnie found the source of his crash, his face falling in dread. His right arm was firmly cuffed to the bed with a chain that was barely two feet long.

"No, this can't be happening!" He quietly shouted. No matter how hard he tugged the chain, nothing was budging. He looked around the room and noticed that all the tools that Osamu had once previously put in were no longer accessible. There was nothing on his table or even on the bed that looked remotely useful.

So was this it? Was he doomed to be Osamu's slave for the rest of his life? Donnie felt tears once again fill his eyes. As he wiped the tears, he noticed he was still wearing the outfit Osamu had designed for him while the black bandana laid on the bedside table.

Donnie looked down at himself angrily. As hard as it was directing his anger solely towards Osamu, he couldn't ignore the feelings of being violated. Osamu had literally and metaphorically stripped him of his identity. Not caring whatsoever if he made noise, Donnie ripped the fabric off. He threw the shoulder guards halfway across the room. He pulled the leather belt off and unhooked his knee pads. Finally, he grabbed the black mask. His fingers played with the ends. It would be so easy to take it and rip it into shreds, yet, couldn't. It almost felt like it was a part of him in a way.

In the back of his head, something nagged at Donnie. What if going back with his brothers wasn't the right decision. Or if, the moment he put the purple bandana on, everything would go back to the way it was? Taking a deep breath, Donnie tied the banana on his left arm, near his shoulder. Telling himself he would evaluate what to do with it when the time came, but right now, he had other priorities.

He slumped the floor, realizing he had no other options. He had nothing on him to pick the locks and who knew if or when his brother's would return. It all depend on Mikey and if was able to dec-

"Don!" Katsumi shouted as she opened his door, quickly locking it.

"Katsumi!" He yelled excitedly. "Mikey, is he okay? Did he make it out?"

"He and April both made it but Donnie thank goodness you're awake. C'mon, I'm getting you out of here." She pulled a key from her pocket, quickly making her way to the cuffs. "Osamu is preparing a jet back to Japan tonight. I overheard him say he wants all of his ninjas there to ensure your brothers never see you again. Now I know you might not want to go back with them but-"

"Katsumi," Donnie interrupted, "slow down, I want to go back with them." He said, smiling to see her relieved expression, even feeling happier at the fact that April had come along with Mikey.

"Good, Osamu plans on getting you drugged up soon so we have to move-"

Katsumi was interrupted again, only this time it wasn't because of Donatello.

"Katsumi, what are you doing!" Osamu shouted as he kicked the door down, startling the occupants. Before Katsumi could unlock the cuff, the key fell from her hand, as she turned to face Osamu.

"I'm releasing him. I can no longer sit idly by while you use him as a chess piece to win your stupid little game! I really believed you wanted to help him, truly I did, but now I see that you're only interested in revenge and taking your anger out on those you deem weak! Well no longer. He wants to go back with his family, so I'm getting him back-"

Katsumi gasped, Donnie screamed as all went silent.

Osamu pulled the small dagger out of Katsumi's shoulder, doing nothing as she fell limply to the floor.

"Y-You're insane!" Donnie screamed, praying that the damage was minimal. "She was your friend! How could you?"

"SILENCE." Osamu shouted, kicking Katsumi out of his way, walking closer to Donatello.

Donnie yanked on the chain, he tried to get back on the bed, uselessly kicking his legs, but to no avail.

"I'm done playing these games Donatello. I'm taking you back to Japan and you will learn to follow my commands and be under my loyalties."

"I'm never going to-" Donnie's eyes went wide as he felt the familiar prick of a tranq dart. He quickly pulled the needle out yet it was too late. The drugs were entered into his system and in less than a couple seconds, he too fell limp on the floor. . .

Chapter Text

'Why? So I can go back to being the pathetic genius that does whatever pleases you all?'

'Oh I'm sorry, should I use the words forsaken? Weak? Helpless? Are those words in your vocabulary?'

'That maybe I can't stand to see you guys'

'After the breaking. . .'

'JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!'

Raph clutched his tattered pillow closer to his body. An endless flood of tears fell from his puffy eyes, soaking into the covers. He sank deeper into the comforts of his sheets, yet no comfort was found. Not when all he heard was Donnie yelling at them, him to leave. His little brother was right there. He was alive and he was right there. Raph had dreamed of the moment where they would finally find their brother. He pictured himself showing some emotions before closing up, not wanting to prove Mikey's theory about him being a softie right. He imagined giving Donnie the biggest hug and holding him close until they were all safe at home. For one moment, his temper would be nonexistent. He wouldn't say anything snarky or make crude remarks.

But he blew it. All those dreams, they were all of the brother that had been captured, not the result of the capture. Raph knew, they all knew Donnie wasn't some traitor. There was an issue and instead of being the understanding brother that Donnie needed, Raph went on the defensive. Why? Why couldn't he for once quickly adapt to the change in his younger brother? Why didn't he predict it?

Maybe it was the heartbreak. The knowledge that he wasn't quick enough to save his brother. He was supposed to be the one to protect them. He made vows to himself that he would always keep them safe. But he didn't. Donnie was pulled out from under him and Raph wasn't sure if he could ever forgive himself for that mistake.

How could he? He failed to find Donnie and he failed to bring him home. The one time, the one freaking time Donnie needed him to be the understanding brother, Raph pestered on with his questions. He didn't pay attention to the way Donnie was clutching his head with each accusation Raph made. He ignored the way Donnie's voice cracked. He didn't see Donnie clutch the scar around his arms.

'I'm broken enough as it is.'

Donnie flat out told him he was broken. His brother felt completely broken and wanted to stay in the comforts of a stranger rather than his own family. Not only that, Raph never gave Donnie a reason to come back. It was as Osamu said last night.

'Oh, and you have the right?'

Then Donnie disappeared again. Seeking comfort from another stranger than his own family.

He was the one Donnie used to seek comfort from. When they were younger, Donnie came to him. Not Leo, and not Splinter. No matter how many times poked fun at him or would endlessly tease him, he would find his brainy little brother right outside the door. He pretended to be annoyed. At first he actually was, but now and then, he found appreciation for those nights he wasn't alone. He got used to the way Donnie would cling to him, fearing his nightmares would plague him forever. He was starting to sleep to the sound of Donnie's whistling. Sometimes he would lie awake, waiting for Donnie to come.

Now Donnie was looking for anyone besides Raph for the comfort and the security he desperately needed. Whatever Donnie went through, Raph was the last person Donnie wanted.

Raph sobbed deeper into his pillow. He was always warned about the effects of his temper. He saw how it affected each of his brothers. Pushing Leo, making fun of Donnie, hitting Mikey for his mistakes. He took it too far this time. He was hurt and his temper was the only way he knew how to mask that hurt. All he did was feed further into Osamu's hands. Giving Donnie a bigger reason why Raph was now the enemy and the lair wasn't a home anymore.

'Raphie. . .'

At that last moment, Donnie was clinging to him. Donnie wanted Raph to come save him and Leo. He had called him, expecting his older brother to come and protect him.

Raph felt like an endless failure. Donnie went from clinging to him, to not wanting to be in the same building as him. And yet, Donnie requested for Osamu to let them all leave unharmed. That had to count for something right? It had to mean there was a little part of Donnie that did love them. . .it just had to. . .

Raph sniffled, hugging the pillow closer, the images of Donnie's mask falling before their eyes started replaying in his mind.

"D-Donnie's not-. . .Donnie's not gone." He sobbed. "H-He c-can't be. . .It's all m-my f-fault, my fault. . ."

"Where is he!" Raph heard Leo shout.

"And I told you, I'm not telling you." Karai responded in a calmer manner.

"I'm not kidding Karai. Tell me where he is."

"Not until he and April get back."

"April's with him?"

Raph couldn't take it anymore. Wiping his eyes he found the energy to get off of his bed. He not so carefully opened his door, making his way to the living room where Leo was trying his best to coax whatever information he was looking for from Karai.

"What the shell is going on." Raph groaned, crossing his arms.

"What's going on is that Mikey and April snuck out." Leo said, glaring at Karai.

"What?" Raph asked, turning his head to match Leo's glare. On a usual night, he would've laughed at Leo's over zealous attitude but when they all just emerged from a night of seeing Donnie, Raph knew there was no coincidence that it was Mikey and April who left. They were the closest to Donnie. Seeing him in that state, especially after Raph had yelled, was more than enough of a reason for the two to go back.

"Karai. Tell me now." Leo threatened.

"Or what? You'll ground me? Do whatever but you're not finding out where they are." Karai said intently.

"I swear if they-" Raph quickly dropped his sentence at the sound of the turnstiles. In no less than a second, a blur of green and orange flew through the room and into Donnie's lab.

"Mikey, wait up!" April yelled, panting as she entered the lair.

"April, where-" Leo was abruptly cut off as April, along with Karai and Raph had rushed into the lab, following the youngest brother.

"Mikey you better have a good reason for being out." Raph threatened, not enjoying the fact that Mikey was facing away from him on Donnie's computer.

"April, what happened?" Leo asked, entering the lab finally, not happy whatsoever with what was happening.

"Mikey and I went to go find Donnie again. Something happened and I was rushing out with Mikey but he hasn't said a word since we got out." April said. ". . .and things were discovered." April mumbled, unaware that Raph had heard the small words, yet he betted it was better to wait to question her.

"He wants us to come back." Mikey muttered, his eyes locked on the computer screen.

"Mikey, what're you talking about?" Raph groaned, hoping Mikey wasn't believing some false hope.

Everyone in the room gathered around the computer, trying to make sense of what the youngest had said. The bright screen lit up the room in a blue hue, reflecting on the dusty test tubes and beakers. Everyone was silent as they studied the screen.

"A morse code translator?" April asked, having been the first one to figure it out.

"When we were younger, Donnie taught me moorse code as a way for us to talk and annoy Raph and Leo at the same time. It helped me with my memory and it was super fun to talk without like actually talking- anyway" Mikey shook his head, moving on before someone was yelling at him to.

"Overtime we didn't do it as much so I'm not the best at understanding sentences but I remember all the letters. I saw Donnie tonight. We had a huge talk which I think went really well. But then Osamu joined in and I had to fight him, blah blah blah, Donnie saved me! And as he was having this staring contest with Osamu, I noticed his foot was tapping. I missed a few letters but I listened closely and memorized the pattern. I wasn't sure at first if he wanted us to come back to be back soon, so I double checked and he wants us back! He wants us to come save him!" Mikey said happily, waiting for everyone to fully understand what he had just said.

It took Raph a little longer than he cared to admit, but once he did, he internally gasped. His baby brother had the guts to go back and attempt to fix the damage. He tried once again to bring Donnie back in a peaceful manner and from the sound of it, it had worked. Now Donnie had wanted them to save him. . .or at least wanted Mikey to save him.

"So when do we leave?" Mikey asked, turning his head to Leo. Everyone else's eyes followed, trying to read the expression on Leo's face as he said nothing.

"H-He really wants us there? After everything that just happened?" Leo asked softly, Raph swore he could see little pools of water gather up in the corner of Leo's eyes.

"I think right now it's more of, he prefers us than Osamu." April replied softly, not wanting Leo's hopes to get extremely high. The last thing they needed to do was assume that Donnie wanting to be rescued met he was ready to come back into their family.

"Alright, so let's go get him before he changes his mind." Casey said abruptly, already preparing his hockey stick for a good fight.

"Hold on Jones, we can't just storm in there for the third time tonight. Security is probably three times as tight, especially if Donnie wants out of there." Karai said.

"She's right," Leo interjected, "It's best if we wait till tonight."

"But Leo. . ." Mikey whined. "Donnie could be getting hurt again as punishment for saving my life. We can't just leave him again."

"I agree with Mikey," April interjected. "While we were in the building I came across a room that was filled with Osamu's files on us, Donnie, and some plans." For a reason, unknown to the other occupants, April had taken a long breath to calm her racing heart from being in the room. "One of which was recent and talked about bringing Donnie back into Japan."

"Did it say when?" Raph asked, becoming more impatient with each passing second they weren't leaving.

"No but with what happened to Mikey, I'm sure it'll be sooner rather than later."

"Then it's settled. We'll leave in a couple of hours." Leo stated.

"But it'll be daylight by then." April responded.

"Which makes it the perfect time to go in. They won't expect us until tonight and by then, it might be too late."

"And what about a plan?" Karai asked.

"Get in, find Donnie, get out." Leo said simply, nodding his head and making sure everyone else was on board.

Raph felt his adrenaline pump. This was his final chance to prove to Donnie and himself that he was still the protector of the family. That he could protect Donnie and give his brother the safety he needed. One final shot, and Raph was going to do everything in his power to bring his brother home.

"C'mon Raphie, let's go back. Sensei said we shouldn't wander off too far away from the lair."

"You're just scared. Big geeky Don Don is scared of the sewers."

"I am not!"

"Are to!"

"Ugh, Donnie, what happened?"

"You slipped and fell into the water. You have a mild concussion but luckily no broken bones."

"Why are you carrying me?"

"Didn't you just hear me? You have a head injury. Just let me be in charge of getting you home. I might be a little scared of the sewers but that doesn't mean I'm completely useless in these types of situations."

"Raph?"

"Thanks Don."

"Raph."

"No problem Raphie."

"Raph!"

Raph jolted from where he was leaning against a wall, his eyes going wide in fear and realization as he caught his brothers' stares. The three of them were stationed at a staircase that seemed to go up to infinity. The sunset had begun to set, casting an overarching shadow to befall where the brothers were. It was the perfect cover for a good couple of minutes. It took half a millisecond to realize he had dozed off while waiting for Leo to give them the next set of orders. Raph wanted to make remarks about how strict his brother was being but deep down, he knew they were depending on Leo's plans tonight. Security seemed nearly impossible to break through. They wouldn't have even gotten in if it wasn't for a distraction caused by Casey.

But it made sense. This place was broken in twice by them, well the second one was thanks to Mikey, but nonetheless. If Osamu was really planning on getting Donnie out of here tonight, this was their last shot to pull through and finally rescue their brother.

'Maybe that's why I keep having all these flashbacks.' Raph thought to himself. Ever since they entered the building, all he could picture were memories of him and Donnie. With each one, his determination grew more and more. He was itching to make sure Donnie would get out safely, especially considering the small SOS signal Donnie gave Mikey. Raph only wished Donnie was as eager to see them again, as they were to see him.

Raph didn't talk about it with Leo, in retrospect he wished he had. Raph knew he couldn't be the only brother that was feeling jealous, maybe even self loathing when Mikey revealed that he and Donnie had talked. It meant that Donnie still felt something with Mikey, and yet, most likely felt nothing about the rest of them.

But why? Why was Mikey so special that it was only him that Donnie felt some form of trust? It was clear Osamu wasn't one to miscalculate or forget a step so why was Donnie reacting differently to Mikey compared to the rest of them?

It made Raph want to punch the wall and scream. If they could just get Donnie home and then maybe for once they would get all these questions answered.

"Earth to Raph? Anyone in there?" Mikey asked jokingly, invading what Raph deemed his personal space.

"I'm fine Mikey. Just. . .I'm fine." Raph responded, crossing his arms and avoiding eye contact.

"Anyway. . . Karai and April just texted. Karai has her eyes on Osamu and April got the floor number Donnie's room should be on." Leo said, placing his T-Phone into his belt and making a signal for them to move.

"So we just cruise on up to the floor, get Don, and leave?" He asked, pulling out his sais.

"In simple terms, yes. But we need to use stealth. This place is crawling with soldiers, we make one mistake and who knows what kind of situation this could be turned into."

Raph and Mikey nodded as Leo led the way up the stairs. They were each light on their feet as they climbed quickly and quietly through the mass of stairs, stopping now and then to hear for any soldiers.

"I hope Donnie's okay. . ." Mikey whispered as they got closer and closer.

"I'm sure he's fine Mikey, Donnie can take care of-" Leo stopped abruptly, realising that the statement might not be true anymore.

"He'll be just fine." Raph finished, trying his best to give Mikey a look of confidence. If Leo couldn't encourage him, Raph could give it a try. Maybe he could even encourage Leo.

"You know, you don't have to act like you're okay or something phony like that. You're struggling just like the rest of us." Raph whispered to his brother as Mikey ran ahead of them.

"You don't get it Raph, I can't. . .I can't let my emotions take over again. Last night, I was barely coherent. I didn't do anything and just watched as Donnie disappeared. . .again."

A lightbulb went off in Raph's head, he wondered for a second about if Donnie ever felt the same before acting on his thoughts.

"It was just like the night he was captured, wasn't it?" Raph asked, smirking as he saw the way Leo's eyes went wide.

"I couldn't do anything then and then a second chance finally hits me and what do I do? I make the same mistake and I let my brother be taken away."

"Leo, you didn't let anything happen. It was. . .out of your control. You held your emotions together for so long. It wasn't your fault seeing Donnie like. . .like that. That whole standoff probably triggered them to release. None of us were expecting to find him like that. But we can't focus on that. The point is, Donnie wants us right now and yeah, that's what we should be focusing on or whatever." Raph said, avoiding eye contact with Leo for the second time that night. Rarely did he say anything mushy or feely to Leo but he did hope that it helped somewhat to make his brother feel a little better.

"You're right Raph, thanks." Leo said, giving his younger brother a sympathetic look.

"Don't mention it."

"Guys! I think this is it!" Mikey yelled excitedly as he fidgeted at the next door.

Pulling out his phone, Leo confirmed the floor numbers were identical. "Mikey's right. This is his floor. Remember, stealth only. If we're seen, this whole operation could fail."

With corresponding nods, Leo quietly opened the door. The hall he looked out on was currently empty, filled with an eerie silence. He gestured to his brothers as each of them quietly slipped into the shadows and ran down the hall.

Raph gazed at the various doors. They all looked simple and meaningless. He tried to stifle a groan. Any one of them could have Donnie in them, what were they doing? Shouldn't they be looking through every one of them?

"Leo," Raph whispered, "why aren't we searching?"

"I have a feeling he isn't in those rooms, just keep following me, okay? I know he's up ahead."

Without saying another word, Raph silently agreed and kept following Leo, they were nearing a corner when Leo suddenly stopped them from continuing.

"What is it?" Mikey asked. Leo pointed down the hall, his finger landing on a group of guards surrounding a singular door. It was obviously bigger than all the other ones and it appeared to have various key and security codes on the wall.

Bingo.

"We need a distraction. Those could be Osamu's toughest soldiers and we need our strength to get Donnie out of here." Leo said as he and Raph simultaneously turned their heads towards Mikey.

With a groan, Mikey nodded in acceptance. "If it means getting Donnie out here, then I shall."

Before Leo could direct his baby brother on what to do, Mikey was already up and visible.

"Hey! Over here!" Mikey yelled, waving to the group of ninjas, his voice booming over the walls.

As Leo planned, the guards were both surprised and angered, especially at all the gestures Mikey was performing.

"Come get me!" He yelled as he ran the opposite direction. Raph snickered as he saw the guards argue about who should chase after Mikey or who should stay. In the end, half of the guards left their posts and ran after a very hyperactive Michelangelo.

"Three left, think we can take them?" Leo asked with a playful smirk.

"Oh yeah." Raph said, cracking his knuckles.

Throwing a smoke bomb, Leo led the attack. They flew through the purple smoke, taking one guard after the other. They dodged the random and uncoordinated strikes and took their time with each one. In the end, it took less than a minute for all the ninjas to be taken down. Raph wiped the tiny droplets of sweat that raced down his forehead. He couldn't remember the last time he had a fight like that. What was months, felt like years. He had his small fights with Purple Dragons or some other gang groups but those ones were out of anger. They led to nothing, this time, this time was different.

Raph's attention flew back to Leo, his brother had left his side and was already trying to get access to the room through the various keypads.

"This isn't good." Leo muttered.

"What's wrong?"

"Well there's a key code, fingerprint, and a rena scan."

"So?"

"So we can't get in without someone who has access, and I'm betting this system has very complex security." Leo explained in frustration.

"Well, what do we do? We can't come this far only to go back home!"

"Maybe I can call April and see if she has any suggestions." Leo said, pulling out his T-phone.

As he dialed April's number, Raph's eyes wandered to the other side of the hall. There were two more doors that were just as big as Donnie's and were close in proximity. Letting his curiosity get the better of him, Raph walked up to the nearest one. This one too had a keypad but it didn't look nearly as complicated. Shaking his head, Raph turned away. He couldn't let anything distract him-

"mmfmf!"

Raph's head flew back to the door. He could've sworn that sounded like someone.

Ignoring Leo's questioning state, Raph reached for the door. Against his better judgement, he pulled on the knob, surprised as he found it unlocked.

Click

He could hear Leo's gasp, as he pushed the door open, quietly preparing his sai.

The room clouded in shadows but from what Raph could tell it was nice, really nice. This was the type of rooms he'd only seen on tv or movies when there were scenes of fancy hotels. He walked in further, finding a nearby light switch, he flicked it on.

"What the?!" He nearly yelled. His eyes landed on a woman who was tied up, and her mouth gagged. She had a bandage that was leaking blood on her right shoulder as she struggled more and more against her bindings.

Raph almost thought the intensity was from the sight of him, but as he studied her deeper, he could see there was something else.

Keeping his sai steady, he walked over to her. She calmed down some and let him remove the gag from her mouth.

"Thank goodness you came. . .you don't have much time." She coughed.

"What do you mean? Who are you!" Raph threatened.

"Katsumi. I'm a friend of your brother's and right now, I'm the best chance he has of escaping, so please, if you could treat me with a little more respect and untie me, that would be much appreciated." Katsumi said as she motioned to the ropes holding her down.

"How can I trust you?"

"I got hurt, tied up, and gagged by Osamu because I tried to get Donnie out of here. Look, we both want the same thing, Donnie to be safe. I have access to his room so just untie me, and let me help. I only want to help."

Raph grunted. He looked back at Leo who was focusing on a conversation with April. They needed to get Donnie out there quickly and this girl, Katsumi, could be their best option. Shaking his head and grumbling, Raph walked over to where Katsumi was and started working on the ropes.

"So if you're on our side, why didn't you let Donnie go sooner?"

"It took me a while to see how corrupt Osamu was becoming." She groaned but smiled. "Heh, you've got one heck of a fighter, Raphael."

"What do you mean?"

"Donnie, he fought so hard against Osamu. When he started to break. . .I was worried about him but when he realized what he truly wanted, I could still see the fire in his eyes. . .look I can't tell you everything that happened. That's between you guys and Donnie, but my advice, take it easy on him. It's going to take him a while to heal so don't expect him to feel at home right away."

Raph focused on cutting the final rope, choosing to say nothing to Katsumi's words. The words cut him deep, he couldn't find the strength to say anything.

"Alright," he said as he freed her, "you said you can get us to Donnie so get us to Donnie."

Katsumi nodded, she flinched for a moment, but stood up and ran to Donnie's room.

"Wait, hold on April," Leo said as he saw Katsumi. "Raph? What's going on?"

"I'll explain later, " Raph said, brushing Leo off as he carefully watched Katsumi handle the locks.

"Just one more, we're in!" She exclaimed excitedly as the doors opened slightly.

Leo hung up, following Raph as they both ran inside. The room was just as nice as the one Katsumi has been in. They had always imagined what it would be like to live a life in luxury and it appeared Donnie had a small taste of what that dream was like. Yet, as Raph gazed back at the locking mechanism, he knew this wasn't a room.

It was a cell in disguise.

Leo and Raph gasped as their eyes landed on Donnie's form. Their brother was unconsciously lying on the bed, his wrist encased in a chain.

"Osamu must have given him a powerful drug. He most likely won't wake up till tomorrow." Katsumi stated, staying posted at the door.

"I'll let the others know we found him and that we're ready to leave." Leo stated, redialing April's number.

Raph took the hint and knew this was his cue. With his sai still in his hand, he sliced through the chain, releasing Donnie. He looked over his little brother with sadness. Donnie wasn't wearing the black mask he had been the previous night, instead it was loosely tied to his arm. He had new bruises and marks that must've been from Osamu. To Raph, it seemed that no matter what Donnie was doing he was ending up in pain.

'That ends tonight.'

Take it easy on him.

Taking a deep breath, Raph carefully lifted Donnie so his brother was sitting up. With some maneuvering, he was able to get Donnie on his back and keep him steady, as he did, the mask fell from his brother, falling to the floor as if it was the heaviest object in the room

"Don't worry Don, I got you." Raph said as he heard noises of discomfort from his incoherent brother. Raph felt his protective instincts kick in as he held Donnie a little tighter. He knew he wouldn't be the best defender with having to carry Donnie but there was no way he was going to let anyone else take his brother away from him.

"Alright, everyone's been notified. April and Mikey found each other and are almost out while Casey and Karai are already out." Leo stated as he placed his phone back into his belt. "You ready?"

"Ready." Raph responded, looking over at Katsumi. "You coming?"

"It's too risky. I'm going to stay and try to keep soldiers from attacking. Be safe, and take it easy." She informed as she departed without saying another word.

"Let's move." Leo said as he and Raph quietly went into stealth mode, retracing their steps.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"Come on! We're almost there!" Leo yelled as the alarm system suddenly went live and started blaring out. They had reached the last set of stairs, drawing nearer and nearer to the exit.

"Where do you think you're going with my turtle?" Osamu's voice echoed through the hall, just as the turtles had pulled the door open.

"He's not your turtle! He's going home, with his family." Leo said, pulling out his twin katana blades.

"You really think you can undo all the damage I've done? Ha, you don't even know all that I've done! What makes you think he's going to tell you? The ones that played crucial roles in his destruction."

"We will help him." Leo said, trying not to let the words sink in.

"And the moment that fails, I'll be ready to accept him back into my hands. Mark my words Leonardo, he will come back."

Taking out a smoke bomb, Leo quickly threw it. He couldn't let himself be filled with any more destructive emotions. Not now.

Raph left the building first, running once he saw Leo behind him.

Finally. After four months, Donnie was finally going home with them.

Chapter Text

Donnie's eyes hazily creaked open. At first, all he saw was a mess of colors clouding his vision as he tried to remember what hit him. His head pounded with a dull ache he was too familiar with these days as his limbs refused to follow any commands he gave them. All he could do was control his breathing while he waited for his vision to clear up.

He began to notice the ceiling. The crusty stains as the pipes from above leaked in various places. He could smell a coat of dust. He watched that with each breath, particles would be scattered. He sunk deeper into the mattress below. It wasn't the softest, nor the comfiest, but it molded to his body as if it had done so for years. He felt the tug of a blanket with each move his limbs made. His body was tightly encased like a cocoon in a sea of fabrics, all providing a much needed warmth and comfort.

The minutes passed as Donnie did nothing but simply enjoy the comfort his body craved. For once, it seemed his breathing flowed smoothly without struggle. His body relaxed without being on constant alert for unknown threats. He felt safe, secured. He was floating in space and there was nothing to pull him away from the sweet bliss of time standing still. Where his memories were non-existent and the future didn't hold uncertainty.

Could it be this simple? Was it possible for him to stay here and never face the crushing reality that he knew existed?

Where he didn't feel forsaken

Lost

Alone

Pathetic

Donnie squeezed his eyes tightly, repressed memories were suddenly hitting him hard, invading the small circle of peace he had subconsciously created.

He could see his brothers, his friends, his enemy, himself circle around, taunting him like a child.

He shook his head, to no avail it only added to the pain that was beginning to grow. He needed to move, he needed to get up, get away.

His eyes shot open as his body raised itself from the mattress, the mess of blankets fell to the floor and the world danced around in a dizzy haze. After a moment, he realized he was somewhere he hadn't been in a while. He scanned around, looking for conformation. He couldn't understand. He wasn't supposed to be here. He was supposed to be back in Japan. How could he be back in his own bedroom?

His heart squeezed painfully as he carefully studied the room. Dust covered his books, his corner desk. His computers looked practically dead. But how? How did he get back here?

'No. . .it has to be a trick. . .' He thought to himself. He had one too many nightmares that started with him being home only to end with the usual nightmares he saw of his family. He couldn't bear to let himself believe this was the true reality. He couldn't trust anything. . .anyone. . .

Taking yet another deep breath, Donnie quietly removed the comforter that had been tightly encasing his body. As much as he hated to leave the confinements, he'd rather get the nightmare part over and done with so he could continue suffering in the present.

His feet felt tickled from the cold surface. His body shivered, his muscles ached, but Donnie ignored all the signs. He needed to see what was awaiting him.

He slowly walked over to his door, his shaky arm arose to greet the handle. He closed his eyes and once again tried to settle his breathing. His anxiety was rising as well as his composure. He was barely keeping himself together.

His hand tightly gripped the handle, with a ninety degree turn, the door opened, granting a small sliver of light to illuminate parts of the room. Donnie pulled the door closer to himself, the light reaching his eyes. He shielded his eyes for a moment before quickly adjusting. He took a small step out of his room, deeming himself ready to face the demons that awaited him.

He scanned the hallway. He was filled with surprise. Usually his night terrors wouldn't hesitate at the opportunity to seize his vulnerable state. He continued walking down the small hallway, stopping at the sound of familiar voices. He grasped the wall, staying close to the shadows as he listened.

"It's been ten hours, shouldn't he be awake by now?" Raph groaned.

"The drug was meant to knock him out for twenty four hours, just give him a little more time." April responded.

"So why can't we take shifts like we usually do?" Mikey asked.

"It's best not to. We don't want to accidentally trigger him to go into a panicked state." Leo said.

Donnie couldn't believe it. This wasn't like his usual nightmares, this time, they were talking about him in a different manner. Could this really be the present world? Was he actually back in the comforts of his true home? Donnie felt his heart flutter in excitement. Mikey must've figured out his clue and brought the others back when Osamu had knocked him out. Osamu? Donnie's mind drifted to many questions about his captor as well as Katsumi. He hoped she was okay.

He shook his head gently. He didn't want to think about Osamu right now. Not when he was home and his brothers were right out there, waiting to welcome him with open-

His brothers. . .Shell, his brothers were right out there. Donnie could feel the pain, the memories returned. Was he ready to face those demons? There was so much damage, they didn't even know the tiniest bit of what he went through. How could he tell them of the tainted memories that haunted him? No, he couldn't face them right now. Donnie quietly turned around, making his way toward the bathroom.

He silently opened the door and flicked the switch. Both his hands came up to his mouth to muffle the gasp that escaped his lips as he saw his reflection. He looked just as he felt. Broken.

His face was hallowed and without any mask, he could see just how blackened the area under his eyes were. Speaking of his eyes, they were hardly recognizable. They looked void of life, or any sense of emotion. Any gear he had been wearing was fully gone, letting Donnie see all the bandages, marks, and bruises that covered his body head to toe. His injuries he had been given on the night he was captured were tightly bandaged, though he could see the ugly scarring that had begun.

His carapace was scratched more than it had ever been. It was a dull yellow, with deep bruising around his abdomen.

Donnie hugged himself gently. His mind was buzzing with too many emotions that he couldn't process all at once. He felt himself spiraling, only this time, he didn't have anyone to help him. He tried to remember the breathing techniques Katsumi taught him but it was too hard on him. All he could focus on was his reflection and how in the moment, it was slowly changing. His naked body was suddenly covered with the full gear he had previously worn. The cool metal and black fabric was suffocating his body. His eyes stared straight into the mirror as his reflection completed it's look with the black mask.

He shook his head as it smiled at him devilishly.

"You really think you're the one that needs to fear them? You're the one that turned. You've changed Donatello. They'll definitely turn their backs on a traitor."

"N-No. . .! I'm not a traitor! I was confused but now. . ."

"Now you question if it's them that'll turn on you when they're the ones that did what you said. They're the ones that saved you and you dare to think that they're the enemies? You don't deserve them. You don't deserve to be back here in their home."

"S-Stop it!" Donnie yelled as he covered his ears and closed his eyes.

"Face it Donatello. You can't heal from this. They can never trust you. Just go back to where you belong."

"Donnie? Donnie!"

Donnie heard voices but all he could focus on was his reflection. He felt his tears wash over his face as someone hugged his body tightly.

"Donnie, focus on me, okay? It's me. Mikey. Your baby brother. You're safe D, you're home. We've got you bro." Mikey said gently as he wiped Donnie's tears with his thumb.

"M-Mikey?" Donnie said, as he finally noticed Mikey's presence as well as everyone else's.

'Great, my first day home and they catch me having a panic attack. Why do I feel this is going to bite me in the shell later. . .' He thought bitterly to himself.

"Yeah, it's me Donnie." Mikey said smiling. Unknown to his troubled brother, Mikey was ecstatic to actually be hugging his brother. He was hugging his brother! Donnie was finally home with them, safe and sound. They had all been waiting anxiously for Donnie to wake up and he did! Granted, he did so and then fell into a panicked state, but Mikey would take it. It was better than waiting around for hours upon hours for Donnie to wake up from whatever he was drugged with. Mikey hugged Donnie a little tighter as his brother continued to shake in his grip.

Mikey knew Donnie was going to have a hard time adjusting to life again, but Mikey was going to do everything in his power to make sure his older brother felt at home once again. He wasn't going to let anyone stop them from helping Donnie.

"You with us Donnie?" Mikey asked softly.

"Y-Yeah, I think so. . .I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the reunion."

"You didn't ruin anything Donnie." Leo said, making sure to keep his tone gentle. He knew Donnie was more sensitive around him and Raph. Mikey wasn't the only one who wanted to help. Once they had gotten home with Donnie, they all made a plan to help him get back on his feet and help him through any conflicting emotions. None of them were experts on emotional trauma but April had taken a few classes at school as well as her own research for similar subjects. It was all they had.

Their plan was to take it slowly and make the environment as comforting as possible for Donnie. With the way Osamu treated Donnie, they wanted to try to let Donnie make decisions for himself, especially when it came to talking about what caused all the trauma. April had revealed to them she saw a glimpse of the truth but she didn't feel it was her choice whether to reveal it or not.

The only problem with the plan was that Donnie's history on sharing emotions wasn't rated very well. If any of them had wanted to know Donnie's emotions, they would have to dig very hard, and even then, they never knew the truth. To manage something like getting Donnie to talk about what Osamu did to him, would be a miracle. But they had to try or fear losing their brother even further to his inner demons.

Leo moved beside Mikey, adding another sense of comfort for Donnie.

"C'mon Donnie, do you want something to eat? I bet you're hungry for some of Mikey's cooking." Mikey said happily.

"Heh, yeah, sure." Donnie responded quietly, as he looked back towards the mirror.

As Mikey guided Donnie out of the room, Raph stayed behind, glancing at the mirror. He wanted nothing more than to give Donnie a much needed apology for the way he acted during their first confrontation, or even give Donnie a hug. He usually ignored embraces but he couldn't let go the feeling of wanting to hold Donnie close. He was gone for four months after all. . .but Raph knew it was best if he didn't. He saw the worried looks he quickly received from Donnie. It was a fact Raph didn't want to deal with. His little brother was afraid of him.

Crossing his arms, Raph regarded April as he followed his other brothers.

"I've been waiting forever to show you some of these new recipes I learned! You're going to love them!" Mikey exclaimed.

"Maybe you should start off with something simple like soup." April commented, taking a seat next to Donnie at the table.

The two snuck a quick glance at each other before quickly turning away. Donnie blocked the images of April being possessed and all the actions she performed, instead opting to focus on how beautiful she still was after being gone. Though, Donnie could tell something was on her mind.

"Maybe she doesn't trust you. She knows what it's like to be a traitor. She knows you're one too." The voices taunted.

"Heh alright, Mikey's special pizz- I mean, chicken noodle soup is coming right up!" Mikey said sheepishly.

He bolted for the cabinets, taking out a soup can as well as various other ingredients.

Donnie gave his brother a small smile, his eyes falling downcast. He couldn't explain his feelings but he felt as if it was his turn to take charge of the conversation. As loud as the voices were in his head, telling him now that he was the troubled one, they didn't overpower the ones that warned him of the outcomes for spilling secrets. He couldn't find any way to tell his family of the torture he endured and how they each played a part in it.

"So. . ." Donnie said, knowing he had to say something. "Where's Casey and Karai?"

"Karai is making sure all her soldiers are accounted for and Casey's helping. They're also making sure we weren't followed or that there's no way for Osamu to track us." April said calmly, playing out with a few crumbs that littered the table.

Donnie nodded in understanding, fidgeting with his fingers. He sighed as he looked around the room. As he did, he noticed the small movements of heads turning and eyes switching to a different view. Why did this have to be so complicated? This was his home, these were his brothers. He knew deep down this was better than a life with Osamu, but then why did it have to be so difficult? Why couldn't he just fit right back into place and put everything behind him?

Was he that broken. . .Or was this not the right choice?

'Go figure, I'm finally able to make a choice for myself and it's the wr- No! Don't think like that. This is your family, Osamu was a lie. Stop being selfish and focus on them. They are the ones that spent months looking for you and you were the one to reject them heartlessly.' Donnie thought bitterly to himself.

"So Donnie," Leo said, clearing his throat, "I bet you've missed Mikey's cooking, huh?"

"Oh y-yeah! For sure." Donnie replied softly, avoiding eye contact with his older brother.

"Speaking of cooking, what kinda food did they give ya?" Raph said in an attempt to carry the conversation. He angrily rolled his eyes from the peeved off expression Leo sent his way as he focused back onto his brainy brother.

'Food, not feelings. Just food.' Donnie said under his breath.

"Mostly Japanese food. A lot of rice, some sushi here and there, and a few proteins. It was nothing fancy." Donnie said as he gazed up at the clock. Osamu wouldn't have fed him for another hour. He would be in training right now, probably focusing more on solid katas than the basic stretching.

Donnie's head lowered once more. He was home, yet it felt like he was a stranger. His body felt out of place, stuck on a routine someone else built for him. He could sense that there was so much he didn't know with what happened with his family as well.

He was saved but he was broken.

All of a sudden, Donnie felt the world around him disappear as he was surrounded by darkness. He floated off the stool as his head searched back and forth for a solution.

He tried calling out to his brothers but his voice was barely audible. He could feel his muscles tighten, his hate rate increase, the tears. He started to panic. He knew what was happening and didn't like it one bit. He knew this could happen, it happened all the time with Osamu. But this, no, he was home, how could he still be suffering from these hellish flashbacks?

Donnie's body froze, he couldn't move at all. By an unknown force, his head was raised to face the demon responsible.

Osamu.

"So, you think just like that you've escaped me? Think again Donatello."

"You can't control me anymore! I've seen past all that you've done to me! I know my true family and where I need to be. And that starts with being far away from you."

"Don't get so cocky Donatello. Don't you remember how confident you were in the beginning of all of this? And don't forget how soon it was until you believed all that I said. You can't hide forever Donatello, you can't hide what happened forever." Osamu said with a smirk.

"And once they realize how you gave up on living, that you willingly joined my forces, they'll see that you're unfixable. Just a broken picture of what used to be their ever faithful and loyal brother. And when that happens, I'll be ready for you to come back. You will come back sooner or later Donatello."

"No!" Donnie shouted, despite his struggles, he couldn't find the strength to cover his ears. The words were burrowing themselves in his brain, his breathing was harsh and rapid. It was as if he was back into that cursed chair.

"Donnie? Oh no, not again. Donnie!" He heard.

He could feel a warmth brush over his skin as someone rubbed his shell and whispered words of comfort. Ever so slowly, Donnie regained his senses. He blinked out the darkness and found himself being held upright on the kitchen floor. His cheeks flushed as he realized everyone was staring at him, waiting for him to say something that would indicate what he saw.

"Donnie, are you-"

"I'm not hungry anymore." Donnie said suddenly, getting up off of the floor on his own. The others gasped, shooting up from the floor, ready to offer their assistance.

"Donnie?" Mikey asked again, slowly following Donnie's pathing.

Without saying another word, Donnie bolted to his room, locking the door before anyone could follow.

It was then that everyone in the lair realized that healing was going to be harder than they thought. . .

Chapter Text

"We all know how Donnie is, when he wakes up we can't force him to tell us anything. We need to let him have time to adjust first before we can even think about bombarding him with questions." April said calmly.

"And how long do we wait? Days? Weeks? Months? Osamu is still out there. What if he tries to use whatever method he used on Donnie again?"

"It's not that easy Raph. I told you guys that I got a glimpse of it. It's not something you can just flick your fingers and he's on the opposite side. We're dealing with serious psychological damage here. We need to be patient and let Donnie figure some things out on his own. All we can do is offer our support when he wakes up and prove we were the right choice."

"April's right. Donnie has never been one to talk about emotions but this time is different. Any sort of force we use on him could quickly send him running back to Osamu. I looked some things up and right now, Donnie's going to do whatever he feels will keep him safe. So we have to be gentle and hopefully wait for him to open up to us on his own." Leo said.

Leo stared up at the ceiling as he recalled the conversation before Donnie had awoken. After the euphoria of getting Donnie back home had dispersed, they all came to the realization that their situation wasn't going to get a hundred percent better. Leo was beyond grateful they finally had gotten Donnie back but an even bigger challenge was ahead. Getting Donnie to trust them.

But it wasn't just that. It was earning his trust back while trying to get him to open up. And even then, Donnie wasn't the only one that had heavy thoughts. The rest of them were struggling with their own turmoils that had yet to be properly discussed and taken care of. Though, that was due to Donnie not being home and finding him being the main priority. But now he was. So what was next?

Leo rubbed his eyes. This was his responsibility to control. He let himself slip and he couldn't afford to make the same mistake. He needed to focus on bringing his family back together once and for all.

Getting up from his bed, Leo glanced hazily at his bedside clock. It was just barely over two in the morning. He nodded. It was going to be one of those nights. Where it would be pointless to get any more rest and the best thing for him would be to meditate. Going over to one of his upper shelves, Leo picked out a few jasmine and lavender scents he hadn't used yet. He pulled out a packet of chamomile tea that was on top of his desk and made his way out of his room. He planned to stop by the kitchen first but as he looked over his brothers' doors, he felt the need to check on them first.

He wasted no time and quietly gripped Donnie's door. Donnie was usually the one he checked last but with just getting his brother back, Leo didn't mind breaking the routine.

He opened the door gently, poking his head through the opened space. A defeated sigh escaped him as he saw the bed was indeed empty. Taking a closer look, Leo did however notice that the blanket and sheets were spilling onto the floor in a tangled mess. That was unusual. Whenever he found himself peeking into Donnie's room, everything was neat and always looked like it was barely touched.

Anxiety started to build up as Leo closed the door and looked over to his brother's lab. The lights that could be seen below weren't on and even as Leo opened the door, the layers of dust that covered past inventions and contraptions were untouched.

"Okay, don't freak out Leo. . .maybe he's in the bathroom. . ." He stated to himself. This couldn't be a potential breaking in and kidnapping, right? Donnie had a fully automated security system that kept the lair safe against intruders. There was no way Osamu could've broken in without one of them hearing the alarms or sensing his presence.

Leo's eyes darted around the lair, hoping to see Donnie's form come from the turnstiles or the bathroom. Those were the only logical outcomes where Donnie could be.

Then again. . .

An idea clicked in Leo's head as he turned in the one direction he hadn't looked yet. It wasn't so much that he forgot it existed, it was more of the rare chance that Donnie would be there of all places. Moving smoothly against the floor, Leo quickly arrived at the dojo. He breathed in relief as he heard the familiar sound of Donnie's voice.

"I know you said coming here wasn't going to be easy, but I didn't expect it to be like this. . .Raph can barely say a full sentence to me, April secretly avoids me, and Leo. . .he's acting like I'm just gonna break. Mikey's the only one that I feel is helping me the most, and in return I think I'm helping him. Shell, I don't anymore. I don't know anything anymore. Everyone else has their own problems to handle while trying to help me adjust. If I knew things would be this complicated. . ."

Leo held his tongue as Donnie stopped talking. Was his brother talking to their father? Had he talked to their father? His heart ached. If Splinter was the only one that was able to reach Donnie emotionally, how were they all supposed to?

Leo hated that he was letting his emotional troubles get in the way of Donnie's recovery. How could he be so stupid. It was a reason why Donnie never talked to anyone. He was always afraid of adding to the burdens everyone was already carrying.

He needed to keep his emotions in check. He needed to find a way to make Donnie believe that talking to him wouldn't be adding on to the stress Leo was facing.

"I know you're there Leo, believe it or not, I've gotten better at picking up presences. . ." Donnie muttered, his head turned to the exact spot Leo was. Giving a small awkward laugh, Leo entered the dojo, taking a spot next to where Donnie was sitting. The room was lit with a few candles that were scattered around. The sweet scent of vanilla filled the air, bringing a sense of peace to both of the brothers.

"When did you get up? Leo asked as he adjusted his legs to fit his usual meditation pose.

"Couldn't sleep, you?"

"Yeah, me too." Leo said, wishing Donnie would've been more specific. "To be honest, I'm kind of surprised to see you here, Don."

"Heh, yeah, I guess this isn't my usual hangout. If I'm bothering you or-"

"Donnie," Leo interrupted, "it's perfectly okay. Besides, I'm the one that interrupted you."

Donnie looked over at his brother, giving him a gentle smile, that quickly turned downcast. "I'm guessing you heard me then?"

"Only a little bit. . ." Leo admitted.

"After Mikey came back to talk with me, it triggered something in me and the next thing I knew I was passing through the spirit world. I saw Splinter and Tang Shen." Donnie stated, his little smile returning, something that Leo genuinely missed seeing. He felt a warmth in his heart as Donnie continued to share his story. All those nights of crying here, in the dojo, and to now be having a sentimental moment with his returned brother was. . .amazing. He knew Donnie wasn't going to tell him about the torture he faced, but to just hear his brother say something, was more than he could've asked for in the moment.

"He really just sat down and talked with me about everything that happened and what needed to be done. That I needed to stop letting everyone else make decisions for me. Which led me to ultimately reject what Osamu wanted for me." Donnie said, his eyes focusing on one of the candles and it's dancing flame.

"That's amazing Donnie. That makes me feel really good to know you had that moment with Dad. So, if you don't mind me asking, what made you send Mikey that little coded message?" Leo asked, hoping to keep his brother talking.

"I'm not sure, I think it was all in the moment. Osamu only needed one more strike to kill Mikey. . .I really just saw how close he was to Shredder. I guess it was all pure instinct. I wanted to protect Mikey and once I did, I felt the need to escape with him but I knew I couldn't. So I sent him the message, hoping he would figure it out. He left and I realized just what I had done. It caused so many conflicting emotions and like I said, it must've activated as a catalyst because the next thing I knew, I was in the spirit world. "

"Wow, Donnie. That sounds scary, awesome, and so many other things at the same time."

"It was. . ." Donnie said, laying down on his shell. Leo followed, taking a moment to stare up at the ceiling.

"Donnie?" Leo asked after a couple minutes of silence.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry we didn't find you sooner. I don't know what he did to you, but I understand that it's too hard for you to talk about. But even then, I'm sorry we didn't resolve things before you were captured. I should've been there for you sooner. . .I'm sorry little brother."

"Is that why you've been beating yourself up?" Donnie asked, turning his head towards Leo.

"It's not just that Donnie. I couldn't help anyone when you were taken. We all fell apart, I fell apart right when we found you. I didn't do anything."

"Leo, your reaction to- your reaction was something you couldn't control and it was understandable. I know you Leo, you probably feared something like that happening. . .and when something happens that you fear, you blame yourself thinking it's your failure. But it wasn't. And with everyone falling apart, you know you can't control how the others feel. I know you wanted to help them but it's better to let them handle it in what way suits them."

In a moment Leo felt a portion of the stress he had been feeling slip away. Gosh how he missed these late night conversations with Donnie. His brother always knew exactly what to say to him to ease whatever stress was plaguing his mind.

"Thanks Donnie, that helps, just like all your advice."

"I know." Donnie said softly, returning his gaze to the ceiling.

"Hey Donnie?"

"Yes?"

"When did you know Osamu was lying about being in New York?" Leo asked.

"Right when you guys said it. The logical part of me quickly put all the pieces together and my overly emotional part didn't want to accept it at the time. But it made sense. Osamu gave me a long lasting drug, not being able to go or really see the outside, only letting me see the city when I had agreed to be. . .that. . .and then why it took you guys a while to find me. Like I said, I was emotional and panicked. The only person I felt comfortable trusting was Katsumi, a friend-"

"Yeah, Katsumi, we met her when we were trying to get you out. She helped us find you and to escape. She seems nice."

"She really is. She was the only one I fully trusted during the breaking-" Donnie quickly shut his mouth, realizing too late what he had said.

"The breaking?" Leo asked, his voice full of concern as he sat upright.

"Leo. . .I. . ."

"Donnie, if you're not comfortable with talking about it to me, that's perfectly okay." Leo said calmly, offering Donnie a gentle smile.

Taking a deep breath, Donnie shook his head. "The breaking was. . .Osamu's name for the torture. It was how he, Katsumi, and even me referred to it as. It lasted for two months. I never associated what he did to me as him doing it so to speak. He made me believe that he was only showing me truths about you guys and our relationship, but he heavily manipulated them. He tricked me into thinking that he knew what was best for me." Donnie sighed as he looked over to Leo. He could feel the words 'I was put into an electric chair where I saw you guys torment me for hours on end' on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't find it in him to actually say the words. At least, not yet. . .

"Donnie. . .I'm so sorry, that's horrible."

"Yeah, leave it the weak one to fall under the pressure." Donnie said nonchalantly.

"Weak? Donnie you just told me the torture lasted for two months. That's insane. Don't you realize how strong you are?"

"Heh, it doesn't feel that way. . ." Donnie said as he could feel the cold and icy depths of the tank he was subjected to. That after everything he fought through, he had given up. He could've actually died. . .if any of his brothers found out. . .Donnie knew they wouldn't think strongly of him anymore. . .he certainly didn't.

"I know it doesn't feel that way now, but it will, I know it will."

"Thanks Leo, really." Donnie said, taking the moment to sit himself upright.

The two sat in silence. One wanting to press further, the other wanting to say nothing else.

"Don?" Leo asked.

"Leo if you want to play twenty questions with me, can it wait till later?" Donnie said, reluctant to answer any more questions.

"It's not anything like that," Leo said with a chuckle. He walked over to where they had made a small memorial for Splinter, picking up an object, he returned to where he had been sitting.

Donnie watched Leo with curiosity. He saw his brother take something and conceal it in his palm. Only revealing it to Donnie when he had sat back down.

Donnie gasped, his eyes growing wide as his breath was taken away.

His fingers brushed against his mask. The last time he held it was when he took it off to put the new one Osamu gave him. Donnie tried to keep his tears from falling. It wasn't Leo's fault for bringing up memories he tried to hide from himself. It wouldn't be Leo's fault to assume his tears were for the happiness of seeing the fabric again, most likely assuming Osamu had forcefully taken it. It wouldn't be his fault, but Donnie couldn't let his brother believe in false emotions. Wiping his tears, Donnie gently took the mask.

Despite wanting to make Leo feel happy, Donnie couldn't find it in him to actually put the mask back on. He had been the one to trade it with one that was completely void of meaning and identity. This represented who he was and who he wanted to be. Putting it on wouldn't erase who he had become.

It wouldn't change the fact that he was a backstabbing, traitorous, and broken version of himself.

"Donnie?"

"Thanks Leo." Donnie said, keeping the fabric in his fist, wishing he had his belt to stuff it into.

As much as Leo wanted to question Donnie and ask his brother why he hadn't put the meaniful mask on, he had gotten enough information for one early morning. He knew it was a big move for Donnie to talk about his feelings and Leo had to take what he could get at this point.

"Do you need anything? I could heat up some pizza." He suggested, getting up once again from his position on the mats.

"I think I'll try going back to bed." Donnie said, following Leo.

"Oh yeah, I wanted to ask, did you have a nightmare? Your sheets were all messed up and tangled."

"It's complicated. . .When you go from sleeping on concrete to the most luxurious bed ever, to back to the one you've had for years, it can really affect your shell." Donnie said with a small laugh.

"That makes sense." Leo said with his own little laugh. "Then again, it's not like you really ever slept in that bed. Your desk chair is more your style."

"My poor shell." Donnie said with a smile.

Donnie and Leo looked at each other and shared a laugh, forgetting about their emotional trauma as well as the other occupants in the lair. . .

"Hey, what's with all the noise?" Raph grumbled as he opened his door sharply.

"Yeah, don't you guys know it's illegal to wake up Mikey before his ten hours of beauty rest." Mikey commented, opening his door right after Raph.

"Beauty? People in Jersey can hear ya snore. " Raph said, entering the hallway.

"Hey!"

"C'mon you two," Leo said, coming in between them, "Donnie and I were just having a conversation, that's all."

"Raph does have a point Leo. We all know if Raph doesn't sleep he's uglier than usual." Donnie said jokingly.

"You wanna take that back, brainiac?" Raph said, cracking his knuckles.

Taking a moment to push away all the memories of a threatening Raphael, Donnie found his sarcasm.

'Ah, sweet sarcasm, how I've missed you'

"How can I when it's the truth?" Donnie said, preparing a free for all.

"Alight, that's it!"

As soon as Raph pounced, Donnie moved too quickly for anyone to realize his plans. Right as Donnie moved, Leo had noticed he was the closest one to where Raph's original target had been.

"Oh no. . ." Leo gulped as he was tackled by Raph.

Once Donnie recovered from his little maneuver, he shared a look with Mikey that quickly turned into non stop laughter. Unfortunately, by the time the two stopped, Raph and Leo were already advancing.

"Uhhh Donnie. . .what's plan B?" Mikey's voice quivered as he hid behind Donnie's form.

"Hope that we can make it to my lab before they catch us. . ."

What seemed like a doable plan, quickly backfired as Mikey and Donnie were both brought into the big brawl.

It lasted a couple of minutes before the brothers laughed it off and each made their own spot in the hallway. The laughter slowly died as they all fell into the depths of sleep and the comfort of each other.

Chapter Text

Katsumi watched eagerly as she saw Donatello's body be carried away by his brothers to the underground world. Finally, after all this time he would be back home and hopefully safe in the comforts of his own home. Where his brothers would prove Osamu wrong. That they weren't a threat to Donnie's safety and they could all heal from this experience together as well as past ones. They would all get the happiness Katsumi knew they each deserved.

She leaned on her leg heavily. Osamu had given her more than just a shoulder injury. She gazed down at herself. Her clothes were torn, strings hung loose, drenched in blood. All she had was a small bandage that barely kept the blood at bay. Her hair was in knots, no longer being held in the braids she usually wore. Her breath was raspy and heavy. Her heart felt it was starting to come down from an adrenaline rush. But, from the sounds she heard below, she knew it wouldn't be long for her heart to spike again.

"Where are they?! WHERE'S DONATELLO?" Osamu shouted from the floor below, his voice echoing throughout the building. Katsumi stayed put. She would make sure they all were able to flee underground before even giving Osamu a clue as to which direction they went.

That wasn't all. As she breathed, she found her thoughts focusing on the night this all started. She remembered how stupidly she had followed Osamu's corrupt directions. How foolishly naive she had been to think all of this would lead up to something good.

No more. This fight was a long time coming and Katsumi was standing her ground. This wasn't just for Donatello's freedom, his safety nor for his brothers' hunger for revenge. This was something between old friends that had drifted apart in unspeakable ways. This was for her. Katsumi turned to her room, drawing a tanto blade from her nightstand quickly. She resumed her spot in the middle of the hallway, awaiting for Osamu to reach the floor. With her blade drawn, Katsumi held a firm stance. She was ready to face her own demons she had ignored. Ones that she had refused to ignore. No more.

Her breath seemed to be the only thing she could hear. Her own sense of calm before the storm.

Osamu hastily ran, taking a sharp turn but stopping suddenly at the sight of Katsumi. His voice felt like it was stuck in his throat. His feet were heavy weights, not granting him the slightest access to move. Time was once again frozen, as it had that effect as of late.

The individuals could do nothing else in the moment except face each other silently. Each was filled with a strong sense of emotion that they couldn't process. Nostalgia? Deja vu? A mix? Like a movie, their lives played in front of their eyes. They stared intently, one hoping for an explanation, the other needing answers. But all they could do in the moment was watch as their memories flew by without remorse. There was no holding back.

Katsumi, looking into Osamu's eyes, could remember so clearly the first time they had met. Back in their small village that was hardly talked about. A quiet little hometown that was able to provide for itself and didn't need to rely on bigger profits. It was peaceful, it moved like a steady stream and that was how everyone liked it.

She was just a small child, looking to make friends. He was a lucky boy, who wanted to share all he had with the world. Were they really so naive back then? Did they truly believe their lives would end for the greater good?

Katsumi remembered so many memories of playing in the garden. She and Osamu acted as if there was nothing else in the world to think about then their little game. It wasn't until they both started learning ninjutsu that they knew there was more awaiting them in the world. They would make small pacts with each other. It started off small, 'I won't tell anyone this secret' or 'please don't replace me' yet it slowly cascaded into much more.

"I need you to create this clan for me"

"I need you to trust me on this"

"I need you to risk everything"

She did. She followed through, with the knowledge that they would all lead up to something good. She made her big decisions in life, calculating them, making sure the odds would always be in her favor.

She did everything. And this was all that was given to her as her reward. The truth. That the person standing in front of her was no friend, maybe in another life he was, but as Katsumi hatefully glared, she could see the reality.

Osamu had let himself down this road. He was the one that chose to become corrupt. He was the one that chose to follow in the Shredder's footsteps. As Katsumi raised her weapon, she felt a tear fall from her eye, and then another. Somehow, she knew this would eventually happen. Whether or not Donatello was brought into the equation, ever since Osamu came back from his time in the Foot, she knew deep down he would become something like this. Now she was faced with yet another choice. One that Osamu was now faced with as well. Fate was now up to whoever acted first.

Osamu pulled, and raised his sword. "I knew you would betray me."

"From the moment you held no mercy, I knew there was no other choice."

"Katsumi, it doesn't have to be like this. Lay down your weapon and-"

"And what? Go back to blindly supporting you?" Katsumi replied, keeping her weapon in a firm grip.

"If that's what you call it, then yes. I'll forgive you for letting Donatello go. We can hunt him down again and journey back to Japan to focus on the clan and making it stronger. We can continue taking in the lost souls of the innocent and give them the life that was stolen from us." Osamu said, drawing closer.

"This isn't about the clan anymore Osamu! It's not even about Donatello. You've made this, our life's goal into something about petty revenge and retribution. You threw all of our goal's out the window when you continually deceived and manipulated the so-called lost soul you wanted to bring into the clan."

"Is that what you truly believe? That I care nothing of my clan anymore? Only focusing on worthless acts like Saki?"

"Yes! Because you don't! You treat everyone as if they're at their disposal. Like their one goal in life is to serve you. You've shown everyone in my clan that you're no different from the man they ran away from!"

"Your clan? You dare call this your clan?"

"I put my blood and sweat into making the clan for you Osamu! While you were away, I did everything for you. I found the best team of ninjas, I trained them, I was the one to teach them. Then you came in and treated them like mercenaries! You saw them as only an object to gain what you truly wanted. Power, control, influence over someone who reminded you of yourself."

"The only reason you created this clan was because I asked you to! Did I not shower with you with my thanks and appreciation? I knew I could count on you to get the job done because we wanted the same thing. To create a clan of honor and-"

"That changed when you no longer stood for honor! Your values were made clear with each time you hurt and manipulated both me and Donnie."

"I had to hurt him so he could see his corrupt family!"

"You were the one to make them look corrupt. You made the smallest altercations to memories to hit him emotionally harder. You knew you could count on his nightmares to fill in gaps. You showed him lies of corruption while you fell down the same path. You accused his brothers of what you did to him!"

Katsumi backed up as Osamu got closer. From her vantage point, she could clearly see the way his face was in a snarl. How his muscles tightened, his stance becoming more shaky as rage filled his body.

"So, this is it how it all ends? One of us takes the other one down."

"It doesn't have to. Just let go, Osamu. Let go of this obsession of power. Let Donatello live his life with his family. Forget about the Hamato Clan. Please, be the friend you once were before Shredder turned you. Be the friend I know you as and let everything go."

"You don't understand anything, Katsumi! You have no knowledge of the things I've endured. The lesson that there's only one way to reach the top. Through manipulation, lies, 'corruption'. Seeing firsthand that survival of the fittest is only won by clawing your way through all obstacles. That's what I learned. To bring my clan up into the world, I couldn't be some naive little boy who thought being honorable was the only way to gain power. I've changed the Bushi Clan for the better. Everything I was doing was for the best of our lives' work. And if you're saying that was all for nothing, then I guess there is only one final resort." Osamu said, taking his stance.

"Then I guess that settles it." Katsumi said, preparing her legs for a jump. "You really are what you always feared to become."

With a yell of anger, Katsumi jumped off her legs, her tanto striking Osamu's armor sharply, leaving a vulnerable dent in its place.

With a yell, Osamu turned to where Katsumi had landed. With a strike, he brought his sword down, barely missing her as she dodged out of the way. He charged once again, taking an abdomen slash across her waist.

The katana managed to reach the surface of her skin, creating a steady stream of blood to flow down her body. Katsumi seethed but the pain quickly died away as her adrenaline took over, numbing the aches and pains her body warned her of.

She didn't have much time to process everything as Osamu came back at her again with an upward cut. She quickly moved her tanto to block the strike and redirected the pointed edge of the blade.

"I supported you through everything Osamu!" Katsumi yelled. She dodged another strike by ducking and sweeping Osamu's legs. The move left him dazed for a couple seconds, giving her a moment to create a bigger space in between them.

With the injuries she had, she knew she needed to find the upper hand. With her injuries, and her adrenaline soon to wear off, she had to act fast and hope Osamu wasn't faster.

Looking up at the ceiling, she saw nearby rafters she could hide up in. If she hid herself long enough in the shadows, Osamu would come searching and there she could use the excess darkness to her advantage and make a calculated strike. All she had to do was lure Osamu up there without him seeing past her plan.

"I supported you when you first wanted to capture Donatello. When you wanted to do it when he was alone with Leonardo."

Osamu pulled himself off the floor, the daze had worn off and he had found his grip on his weapon again. He said nothing as he focused on Katsumi.

"I supported you when you first told me about the breaking. I was so hesitant but then you gave me this whole meaningful speech about why I'm important to you and why I am valued. Did that mean anything? Or was it just another one of your manipulation ploys?"

"A little bit of both." Osamu said with a smug. "You are right in assuming Donatello wasn't the only one I manipulated. But it didn't change the fact that I still saw you as a friend."

"Friends don't manipulate each other Osamu! You told me this would have no effect on you. That you would bring Donnie home if he wanted to come back! You were so willing to drop the plan before you realized how much you liked controlling someone else's emotions and manipulating them."

"Alright, fine, I admit it! I enjoyed torturing him. I enjoyed seeing the last shred of innocence leave someone else's eyes in the way others enjoyed seeing it leave mine. I enjoyed lying to him about the family that was spending hours looking for him and telling him that they would never come for him at all. It took away the pain from when I was told endlessly I would never have a life away from the Foot.

"So yes, I did enjoy Donatello's endless suffering because it wasn't me. I was on the other side. I was in control of the situation and whatever I wanted to happen did. You never realize how good that feeling is when it's happened to you for ten years, Katsumi. Donatello only had to face my wrath for two months. I had to face it for TEN YEARS."

Osamu suddenly charged again, as if he was preparing for the final strike.

Katsumi yelped and quickly flipped over his head, landing sharply on her injured leg. With a cry of pain, she dodged another fatal strike Osamu had attempted.

"I did everything you wanted me to. I said nothing when you asked me too. I confronted Donatello as a tactic of manipulation despite my feelings of actually wanting to protect him. I did nothing when you put him in a tank and forced him to choose to wait for death or give up so you could manipulate him further.

"I supported you when you gave him the new outfit. When you came to me bragging about acquiring his mask and how you would show it off to his brothers. When you told me Donnie wouldn't be wearing anything as we flew back into the city so his family wouldn't suspect his betrayal. When you told me to never speak of Japan and to always make sure he knew we were in the city.

"I supported you not wanting to help Donatello when his brothers came. How you wanted them to prove the points you have made instead of caring for Donnie's mental state first. But when you were ready to break your word to me and force him into going to Japan for the second time, where I know you surely would've ended his life, that's when I knew I couldn't. Congratulations Osamu, you lost your only support system and your only friend due to your sickening decisions." Katsumi said, all the while dodging and trying to make her own attacks directed at Osamu.

She kept her eyes focused on Osamu while trying to move toward the rafters. She wanted it to seem like going up there would be her only option left and not a small plan. She made herself look out of breath and forced some parts of her body to look like they were shaking.

"Tired already, are we?" Osamu joked as he planted a kick in her ribs. It caused her to nearly fall, but she kept her ground. She tucked her blade into its sheath before landing her kick on Osamu. He nearly dodged, but wasn't able to escape the full force of the kick in time. He fell to the floor in an angry rage.

Katsumi breathed and ran for the nearby ladder that led to the rafters above. She used all her upper body strength to climb, not focusing on what was behind her.

As she climbed in a daze, her mind began to wonder.

"Come on Katsumi, I'm clearly faster than you."

"Oh really? Is it because I'm a girl?"

"Maybe, haha."

"Then why don't ya prove it, big shot."

"Katsumi, do you want to travel someday?

"Sure, I hear southern Japan is pretty this time of year."

"No! I mean like, another country."

"You're so weird."

"Our home is gone. We have nothing to go back to."

"I'm so sorry Katsumi, I never would have thought Orouku Saki would. . ."

"I'll do it."

"Do what?"

"You asked me to help build you a clan and I'll do it, we'll do it. We'll make the greatest clan and take down Shredder once and for all."

They truly were so young and naive. They believed that after ten years they wouldn't be any different from when they had departed. They truly believed everything would stay the same.

As Katsumi was just about to reach the rafters, she felt a deep pain in the same shoulder of her previous injury. Looking over, she noticed that Osamu's blade was once again sticking out, tearing the bandages and skin underneath. More blood splattered and Katsumi could feel the blood loss catch up with her. Looking behind her, she saw how Osamu was right underneath her, showing not even a shred of remorse.

Her fingers let go of the ladder and for a moment, she feared she would fall to her death. Much to her surprise, Osamu had caught her before she could start her descent. He kept a firm hold of her as he climbed down the ladder. Once they reached the bottom, Osamu dropped Katsumi like she was nothing but a rag doll.

"S-so, what are you going to do n-now? Kill me?" Katsumi uttered as her vision started to darken.

"No, killing you is too easy. I want you to watch as Donatello is once again in my grasp. Then I might kill you."

"You're stupid to believe he'll come back to you. He's with his family now. He's smart. He'll figure out the truth."

"Perhaps, but there's something that I think no one else realizes, not even Donatello."

"Oh?"

"Donatello has made the choice to go forth with his family. Sure, in the beginning things may be a little awkward, but slowly they'll start to rekindle their brotherhood. But I know Donatello's mind. I know what I've created in that magnificent brain of his."

"And what's that?"

"The moment his brothers do something, one small thing that sets Donatello off into a panicked state, he'll forgo them and run to the one place he knows offers a sense of safety."

Katsumi's eyes went wide. "He'll come back here. . .for me. . ."

"And I'll be here, waiting for him. . ."

Chapter Text

1:09 p.m.

Mikey looked over at the nearby clock from the microwave, sighing to himself in defeat. It marked the third time in a row Donnie hadn't shown up for lunch. What he thought would be an easy task, Mikey was quickly regretting the position of making sure Donnie ate. True, his older brother was always known to skip meals but this was different.

After spending some time with Donnie, Mikey was able to learn that Osamu had set Donnie up on a tight schedule that included meal times, training, sleeping, and free time. It pained him to hear that his brother was forced into something like that. It hurt him even more to hear Donnie talk about it.

"I definitely wasn't fond of it, but it helped to keep my mind off the other things he did to me. And it wasn't like I could say no. I was having enough trouble communicating properly, and he kept reminding me that he was only looking out for me. Just another one of his manipulation tactics I guess. . ."

The two had talked about ways to break the routine Donnie had been on for the last two months. They picked different times for meals, made sure to train lightly, and focus on breaking the habits Osamu had enforced. It was going well at first, by Donnie's fourth day of being home, he seemed to be taking the new schedule well. A couple days later, Mikey was starting to notice the absence of his brother at mealtimes and their training sessions they planned.

Mikey couldn't blame him though. None of them had yet to coax out the torture Osamu had done to cause the serious trauma that was plaguing Donnie. The most any of them knew was that the torture was named The Breaking. Donnie had mistakenly mentioned that part to Leo but that was all that was said. It was a little relieving to know something but also terrifying. At this point, Mikey wasn't sure if he truly wanted to know what happened, but he knew it wasn't healthy for Donnie to keep it locked up.

They had saved Donnie a little over a week ago, and that was all they had gotten out of him. Mikey knew no one really wanted to admit it, but the readjustment was hard. Really hard.

With Donnie not talking, everyone was walking on eggshells around him. No one wanted to accidentally say something that could have a negative affect. It was a reason why Raph barely spent anytime with Donnie. The two rarely saw each other, due to the fact they both were constantly avoiding each other. Mikey assumed it was how the whole confrontation situation was handled, with the both of them arguing, but he could sense there was so much more going on.

Mikey sighed to himself. He stirred the soup he had made once gain, watching its contents swirl around until finally settling. At least him and Leo were having an easier time talking with Donnie and making sure he was comfortable. Besides them, everyone else was struggling. Even April seemed on edge around him. From what Mikey understood, April had seen something of Donnie's torture but refused to talk about it with anyone. Despite knowing, April was one to avoid Donnie, not as often as Raph, but she still did.

Karai and Casey weren't really any help either. They were still reeling with guilt for what they had done with the whole car chase and letting Donnie be taken away by a different vehicle.

Taking out a small bowl, Mikey poured some of his famous soup inside, grabbing a small sandwich he had made as well. He wasn't going to give up. If he was lucky enough to be the one Donnie felt the most comfortable with, then he was going to do what everyone else couldn't. He was going to help Donnie and find a way to figure out what was wrong. He was the one who managed to bring Donnie to his senses after all, how hard could the rest of his plan be?

Making sure the soup was still warm, Mikey grabbed a bottle of orange juice and headed to Donnie's lab.

It took a little coaxing and time, but Donnie had finally found the strength to enter his lab. Mikey had awkwardly answered that he had spent a lot of time in there and had always made sure there wasn't an overwhelming amount of dust and cobwebs. It earned a little laugh from Donnie, making Mikey feel awesome. He always loved it when he could get his reclusive brother to smile.

Smiling to himself, Mikey knocked on the doors before promptly entering. He immediately saw Donnie's hunched form. From the sounds, the tiny sparks he saw, and the helmet Donnie was wearing, Mikey guessed his brother was in the middle of welding something.

His smile continued as he watched his brother. It was a relief to see him working on projects once again, even if it was something as simple as repairing their T-Phones.

With Donnie being gone, they all were guilty of their phones taking the occasional damage here and there. . .

"Hey Donnie!" Mikey yelled, holding his hand close to his mouth in the hopes to create more volume. He immediately regretted doing so as he watched Donnie jump in surprise, looking as if he got scared out of his shell.

"Oh, hey Mikey." Donnie said as he held his hand to his chest, taking a moment to relax his heart rate. He turned off his blow torch and lifted his helmet. "What brings you here?"

Mikey was about to respond, but seeing his brother's face brought him to a pause. Donnie still wasn't wearing his mask and it was a little heartbreaking. Leo had said he gave it to him and Mikey had caught glimpses of the fabric in Donnie's room, but it was something Mikey didn't understand. Donnie was home now, he had chosen to be with them and not Osamu, so why wasn't he wearing it?

"Um, Mikey?"

"Oh, sorry, um, I came to see you because you skipped lunch again." Mikey said, shaking his head and focusing back onto his brother's words.

"Is it past twelve already? Jeez, I'm sorry. . .I didn't realize." Donnie replied softly, avoiding eye contact.

"It's alright bro! That's why I brought some for you!" Mikey said excitedly, walking closer to Donnie to show him the soup.

"Thanks, Mikey. . .'' Taking the bowl, Donnie placed the soup and the accompanying sandwich and juice on his desk.

"No problem bro!" Mikey said, giving his brother a thumbs up.

Donnie nodded, promptly returning to his task. He fired up the blow torch and began working once again on fixing the T-Phones.

Mikey's smile turned into a frown. Even though he had brought Donnie the food, deep down he knew his brother wouldn't eat it. Much like all the other meals Mikey would bring his brother.

"Um Donnie. . .?"

"Mikey, I appreciate the company, but you really should let me get to my work."

"I know, I know, it's just that, I don't want you to get so caught up in the project that you forget to eat. Why don't you just take a break?"

"Not now Mikey. I will in a little bit." Donnie said irritably.

"That's what you always say D. I know it's hard to break out of a routine but-"

"I'm out of his routine Mikey. I'm fine now."

"But-"

"I'm not taking a break Mikey. . .doing this. . .it's all I'm good for anyways." Donnie muttered, more to himself, not meaning for Mikey to hear the last part.

"Donnie. . .that's not true. C'mon, just put your equipment down and have some food with me. We can talk about whatever it is you like. Hey maybe we can even-"

"Just leave me alone Mikey!" Donnie yelled, not paying attention to his arms as they shot out from frustration. His head turned slowly around, noticing what was about to happen, but he was too late to stop it.

The blow torch, still blazing with fire, came down towards Mikey who had moved closer to Donnie. The fire came down and made contact.

"Ow!" Mikey yelled, holding his arm closely to his chest.

The blow torch fell from his gasp, falling to the floor. His eyes never depart from the scorch mark on Mikey's arm.

"M-Mikey. . .I'm. . ."

"Donnie, it's okay, I don't think it's that b-bad." Mikey said, wincing from the pain that was radiating from the burn. He knew it was an accident, he couldn't let Donnie think otherwise. "R-Really D, I'll be okay. . ."

"I. . .I'm sorry. . .they were right. . .they're always right. . ." Donnie muttered before breaking out into a full run, leaving his lab and going straight for the turnstiles.

"Donnie wait!" Mikey yelled.

But he was too late. Donnie was gone, running deeper and deeper into the depths of the sewer.

Donnie hugged his body tightly as he walked through the empty sewer. With each step, his body shivered from the cold. The tunnel he was going down was barely illuminated, most of the yellowish bulbs were either broken or had died out. Not that Donnie minded. The cold, the darkness, he was used to it by now. He was used to feeling numb.

He hugged himself a little tighter as tears began to roll down his face. For a moment, he stopped walking, his eyes shut tight as he recalled the events that had just taken place.

His little brother, his only little brother, had meant no harm. He simply wanted to help. The only one Donnie felt truly comfortable with, was the one he scorched as if Mikey was nothing but a burden to him. It was all his fault. He lost control of the situation. The voices in his head, yelling at him. Saying that he was nothing but a danger to his family, now had proof of the accusation being true.

He had yet to tell anyone of what he was hearing in his head. Doing so would mean telling them of the ones he heard previously. The ones that had made his brothers look like the monsters in his nightmares. Yet, now all they did was remind Donnie that he was the one who betrayed them. He was the reason Raph and April were hesitant to even utter a word around him. He was the reason Leo was still being plagued with nightmares of their family's downfall. He was the reason Mikey was now injured.

Donnie wiped the last set of tears that descended down his face. Here he was, crying like a pathetic little child when his family was probably worried sick. But despite wanting to go back, he couldn't. Going back would mean questions. Questions that Donnie wasn't ready to answer. Possibly, never answer. No, he couldn't go home, but he did know somewhere else he could go.

Finding the nearest ladder and sewer lid, Donnie slowly climbed up, minding his still healing injuries. Using all the strength he could muster, he pushed the lid up enough that he could get a good look at the surrounding scenery. Satisfied that there was no one around, Donnie slid the lid to the side and climbed the rest of the way to the surface. He double checked once again that there was no one in sight and did his best to quietly return the lid to its place.

He wasted no time in climbing the nearest building and staying close to the shadows. He cringed as he strained his arms, but he pushed the pain aside. His focus was on getting himself safely to somewhere else.

Though it took him longer than he cared to admit, Donnie was nonetheless satisfied that he had reached the top without making any accidental slips. Yet, as he gazed at the surrounding buildings, he began to realize the mistake he had just made.

There was no doubt that Osamu was deeply angry about his escape, so angry he could still be trying to hunt him down and recapture what he lost.

'Awesome, my brothers don't know where I am, I don't have my T-Phone, nor my weapon, I'm still injured, and Osamu is probably still after me. Good job Donatello, this must be why you're the designated genius.'

Seeing that he was practically defenseless, Donnie crouched down into the depths of the shadows, hoping he could find his destination quickly and without trouble.

He gazed down at the streets below, noticing the street names below. He sighed in relief as he realized how close he was to where he wanted to go. All he had to do now was get there before anyone else realized he was roaming about without any means of a solid defense.

Being extra careful, Donnie managed to jump over the next two buildings without making any major sounds. He almost laughed when he finally came down on the building he was looking for. He jumped down into the alleyway immediately, wincing as his injuries sharply reminded him of their presence.

Taking a deep breath, Donnie knocked on a door that could be barely seen by the mask of shadows.

His fingers fidgeted nervously as he heard sounds emerge from the other side, before the door was abruptly opened.

"Donatello?" Leatherhead asked in surprise. "My friend, what brings you here?"

The mutanimals were one of their greatest allies and most trusted group of friends. Though Donnie knew he wasn't close with anyone in particular, it was nonetheless a safe haven that could possibly give him some much needed space and time to process everything without having to worry about harming his brothers.

"Hey Leatherhead. . .I. . .Can I stay here? For a couple of days?" Donnie asked, his head falling down in shame.

"My friend, you know you are always welcome here, but if I may ask, why? Didn't you just get back home with your family?" Leatherhead asked worriedly.

"Y-Yes, but you see. . .adjusting, i-it's going a little harder than I thought. . .I just need a little break. . ."

"I understand," Leatherhead said with a gentle smile, opening the door fully. "Please, do come in. The other mutanimals are resting, I'll make sure to inform them of your presence."

Donnie bowed in thanks, following Leatherhead as he led him to a little area that had a couple of blankets and a few flattened pillows.

"I know it's not much, we don't usually have overnight guests."

"It's just fine, LH." Donnie said, not caring whatsoever of the conditions he was given, as long as he could get some rest, that was enough. Donnie removed a majority of his gear, placing it adjacent to the pillows. As he removed his belt, his purple mask fell, gently falling to the floor. Donnie had made a motion to reach for it, but as he saw it laying little over a foot away, he felt no energy to retrieve the small piece of fabric.

Leatherhead watched Donatello with sympathy. He remembered all too clearly of when they were informed by Michelangelo of Donatello's capture. They had tried everything they could to help both with searches, and the turtles' mental states but it seemed everything was in vain. But he also vividly remembered the news that the fourth brother had been found and was home safely.

Yet, as Leatherhead took a more in depth look at his friend, that sympathy quickly turned into empathy. He could see the clean scars that covered Donatello's body. The way he favored certain limbs. How it looked as though he was muttering angrily to himself.

It was clear to Leatherhead that there was more to Donatello's response to his previous question. Donatello was clearly struggling with some internal conflict that collided with the trauma he faced. LH didn't know the specifics, but he knew what it was like to experience trauma from capture. Perhaps, he could be of assistance. But, that could wait. Donatello was clearly tried and in need

of some little form of rest.

"Donatello, does your family know you're here?" Leatherhead asked, realizing that the brothers would most likely never let Donatello do something like this after what they endured.

"Mikey knows I left. . .but that's it." Donnie answered, taking a moment to get comfortable. "It's not that I don't want to tell them but. . .I don't want them to come."

"That is completely okay, but I do feel it is best to let them know you're safe. I'll give them a quick call and inform them of your decision."

"Thanks LH. . ." Donnie said as his body relaxed onto the cold floor, his eyes drooping until they were fully closed.

Leatherhead gently smiled at the sight but quickly turned somber as he went to go see his fellow teammates.

Walking quietly down the hall, he knocked on all three rooms his friends were in. As they each came out tiredly, he directed them into Slash's room and closed the door quietly behind them.

"Is everything okay LH?" Slash asked.

"C'mon, I was having a sick dream." Mondo remarked.

"Why is Donatello here?" Rockwell asked, despite not even seeing Donatello for himself.

"Donatello came by and is here because he doesn't want to be with his family right now." Leatherhead responded softly, "I think it has to do with the trauma he faced while he was captured."

"I see," Rockwell said, "I can try to offer my services, see if I can find the source of the problem."

"Do the turtles know he's here?" Slash asked.

"No, that was the reason why I woke you all, so we can inform them that he is indeed safe and we will make sure he stays safe while he is here."

"Is there anything I can do?" Mondo asked, hoping he could be of some

service.

"You can help make sure that he's comfortable." Rockwell said, in a surprisingly comforting tone. "If the reason he isn't back with the others is due to uncomfortable conditions, the least we can do is make sure he feels a sense of security.

"Alright, I'll call Leonardo and stay awake to make sure he gets through the night. Everyone else, get some rest and be prepared for what may come. I'll wake any of you if I sense trouble." Slash instructed, pulling out his T-Phone.

The others nodded and departed into their own rooms as Slash clicked on Leonardo's icon.

"Slash, hey, we can't really talk right now, Donnie-"

"Is right here."

"W-What. . ."

"It's complicated to explain, Leatherhead can probably explain it better, but don't worry. Don's safe here."

"I appreciate you guys for watching him, we'll be right over."

"Leonardo, he chose to come here. Look, I know it's hard, but right now, we think it's for the best that he stays here with us for a couple of days."

"Hard? It's barely been a week since he got back after four months of being gone. Why would he-"

"I'll talk to you more about it tomorrow, Leo. But trust me, it's for the best that you guys give him some time. It really looks like he has a lot on his mind."

"Fine. We'll talk tomorrow. But please. . .promise me you won't let anything happen to him."

"You have my absolute word."

Chapter Text

"What do you mean, 'he ran away'? And why is your skin so burned?" Leo asked, gently taking Mikey's arm.

"He. . .He accidentally burned me and that caused him to freak out and run."

"He burned you?!" Raph practically yelled.

"Yes! But it was an accident! I was. . .I probably annoyed him too much. . ." Mikey muttered, thankful no one seemed to pay attention to his words.

"Okay, okay," Leo said, taking a deep breath, "How long ago did he leave?"

"I think half an hour. . ." Mikey once again said quietly.

"He left half an hour ago and you're just now saying something?" Raph asked harshly.

"Raph, focusing on how soon Mikey told us isn't the big issue here. Donnie's off on his own without any means of protection, shell he probably hasn't finished the repairs on the T-Phones yet! We need to find him before he thinks about going topside."

"Why?" Mikey asked as he fiddled with his fingers, trying his best to keep his tears from shedding.

"Because dipwad, if Osamu finds Donnie defenseless he could get captured again!" Raph yelled, his rage taking control over him.

"Okay, we need to figure out a pl-" Leo's words were cut by the unmistakable ringtone of their phones. Running up to the lab, Leo moved past his brother's projects and found that his phone was in perfect condition once more while the others still needed some small repairs.

Not sparing a second, Leo picked it up.

"Slash, hey, we can't really talk right now, Donnie-"

"Is right here."

Karai climbed the building with ease. All the years of working on her core and upper body strength really paid off as she continued her mission on the rooftops.

She had been in the dojo when the conversation happened. When Mikey revealed to everyone that Donnie had run away from accidentally burning him. Shortly after some arguing, Slash had called Leo to let him know Donnie was safe with them and would continue on being safe for the time being.

Karai wanted to laugh, but mostly cry. After just getting him back, it was clear that Donnie still wasn't comfortable with being around them. Though, it wasn't in the way everyone else was thinking.

As soon as that call ended, she could hear the way Leo's voice kept breaking after trying to explain what was said. She could feel the heat and anger that was radiating off of Raph. The undeniable blame Mikey was secretly putting on himself. She couldn't handle to once again see them in such distraught. So, she had taken a deep breath and confronted them all in her own gentle way.

"Leo, Raph, Mikey, it's not your fault for Donnie leaving."

"Yes it is!" Mikey yelled, "I got too close to a-and. . ."

"Don't be ridiculous Mikey," Raph scoffed, "Osamu somehow made Donnie scared of me the most out of us, I probably triggered something."

"No you didn't Raph, I've been pestering him about everything and he probably got-"

"Would you guys listen for a second?" Karai asked sternly. "I have a pretty good reason why he left. I'm gonna give him a couple days with the mutanimals before I see if that reason is correct. But in the meantime, you guys need to stop blaming yourselves. There's mistakes that were made on both sides here and in order for everyone to start working out, you guys need to accept those mistakes and so does Donnie. So just let me just handle this before any more mistakes are made, okay?"

"Okay. . ." They reluctantly responded, choosing for once not to pick a fight.

Karai breathed deeply as she came closer and closer to the building. She had asked for this opportunity, and with much reluctance from her brothers, she was getting it.

She had a feeling that when Donnie came back, something like this would happen. Simply because the same thing had happened to her.

She was raised by Shredder. Someone who always used the term daughter. Shredder had stolen her from Splinter, thinking he deserved the only child Tang Shen bore. He treated her like she was his world. He manipulated her into believing vengeance was the only way to gain honor and a sense of peace. That without vengeance, there was no other way for a ninja to become a true leader. He trained her, hours upon hours of exercise and hard core katas. She didn't have time to make friends, to play with toys, to do things a child needs to do. She was taught to hate, to make others suffer. Show no mercy and deceive.

But then, she met Leo.

Leo showed her the truth. She wasn't the daughter of Shredder but the one who was made out to be her ultimate enemy. The ones she had threatened, tricked, plotted against, were her brothers.

She felt her whole life was a lie. She was meant to be Miwa, not some weapon Shredder named Karai. It was like her whole world shattered in regret and failure. She never thought that she would be able to build herself back up from that. To really become one with her true family.

Donnie had to be feeling something close, something close enough that Karai could offer her empathy. Because that's what Donnie needed right now. He needed someone to know what it's to feel unqualified to fit back into the family mix. Someone that could help him understand his feelings of self loathing and to let him know that the voices are always wrong.

Making her final leap, Karai reached the mutanimals hideout. She slipped down into the shadows and gently knocked.

"Karai? What brings you here?" Slash asked as he opened the door.

"I'm here to talk to him," She stated, "Is he still here?"

"Yeah, he's in Mondo's room. Come in." He said, opening the door wide enough for Karai to step through.

Looking around, Karai noted that it didn't look any different from the last visit she had made a while back, with the exception of the mess of blankets and pillows in the corner.

"Should I get him, or are you gonna. . .?" Slash asked.

"I'll find him in a minute, I don't want to rush anything."

"Alright, well Mondo's room is the first one on your left." Slash said before taking a seat and flipping on the tv.

"Hey Slash?"

"Yeah?"

"How has he been? I mean he hasn't called anyone and I don't know. . .I want to have a somewhat serious talk with him and I don't know if he's ready."

Slash sighed to himself, turning the tv off and his head fell to the floor. "Truthfully, he hasn't been the best. He's been really quiet and will really only speak to LH and Mondo. He hasn't said much to either me or the Doc. Doc tried to talk to him, hoping to see if he could find anything but Don lashed out, it wasn't big but it was enough for us to take the hint. All he could figure out was that Don's reluctant, very reluctant to talk about what happened and is even more closed up with certain people, like Doc and I. I dunno, he explained it better than I can."

"No no, you explained well, thanks. If there's one thing I can learn from what you told me and the guys, is that Donnie doesn't take it too well when someone pries so I'll make sure to be vague."

"Good luck, I hope whatever your planning works."

'Me too. . .'

Karai took yet another deep inhale before setting her eyes on what she was told was Mondo's room. She walked over to the door quietly, her heart rate increasing with each step.

Just as she was about to knock, the door was slammed opened, nearly knocking her off her feet.

"Oh, sorry!" Mondo apologized quickly as he realized Karai was standing there.

"It's cool Mondo, is Donnie in there?" Karai asked, looking down at him.

"Yeah, I can go get him for you if-"

"No, it's alright, I'll go in."

"Cool, um, I'll be out here if you guys need anything." He said with a gentle smile before leaving for the living room area to join the others.

Karai's eyes followed him at first before they focused back onto the room. With bated breath she opened the door and stepped inside.

Her and Donnie's met instantly. She wanted to cry from the dull void that still lingered there even though he had been rescued from the vile man that was Osamu. The weight he had started to accumulate thanks to Mikey's set meal times had seemingly drifted away. His injuries that had been treated looked to be doing no better. The bandages they had used had nearly fallen off, revealing much more scarring that was hidden away. His eyes were almost bloodshot, dried tears left little marks on his face as a few dripped onto the sheets below. He sat cross legged on what Karai assumed was Mondo's bed, holding himself as his gaze drifted downwards.

Despite holding himself, Donnie wasn't doing an excellent job at keeping his episode of shakes away from Karai. The normally perceptive kunoichi could see through his little facade.

Karai sighed to herself, her own head going downwards. Donnie looked to be getting worse, not better. If no one acted soon, there was no telling how further the genius had until he reached his breaking point.

Though unknown to Karai, Donnie already had reached that point. He already had sunk to the bottom of despair, barely reaching the surface.

Even though he was no longer in the tank, he still felt as though he were drowning. And from previous knowledge, he could only go so long before he ran out of air.

"Hey Don." Karai said, attempting to break the awkward silence.

"Hey. . ."

"Listen, I know I'm probably the last person you want to see-"

"Is Mikey okay?"

"What?" Karai asked, looking up to meet his eyes again.

"Is he okay?" Donnie asked in such genuine concern that squeezed Karai's heartstrings.

"Yeah, the burn is almost fully healed, You can barely tell that it even happened."

"Good. . ." Donnie said with a small smile before frowning once more. "Why are you here?"

"Because, we need to talk, Don." Karai said, pulling up a small stool that had been sitting in the corner. "And I don't mean about the torture."

"Oh. . ." Holding himself a little tighter, Donnie scooted as close to the wall as he could.

"Donnie, let me ask you something." Karai said, trying to keep a calm posture. "Is there something, a voice perhaps, inside your head that's telling you, you don't deserve to be a part of the family because of what happened?"

Taken aback, Donnie's head whipped to Karai's. His eyes scanning her in disbelief.

"I'll take that as a yes," Karai continued, not missing the silent question 'How did you know?' "I know because I've felt the same thing before. When I really accepted the truth about my heritage, I realized all the mistakes I had made. I was targeting my own family. I was using you guys against each other to start fights and I tried to lead you guys into traps that I had hoped would be your demise.

"But then to learn you were all my family, I couldn't help but feel I would never belong. I was doomed to be the enemy forever." Karai recounted, her fingers fidgeting. She was never one to open up about her feelings, only really doing so with Leo. But if sharing about something as gross as her emotions was a way to get Donnie talking and a little more willing to share his experiences, she would do it a million times if she needed to.

"K-Karai?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you ever have suspicions about Leo being right when he first was trying to tell you the truth, if so. . .did Shredder try to lead you the other way?"

"Actually, I did. I had accidentally mentioned the topic to him and the next day we spent the whole day together. We talked about my mom, Japanese culture, and my interests. Now I know that was all a manipulation tactic so he could keep using me. . .why do you ask?"

"I-In the beginning of the breaking, I kept h-holding on to the hope that Osamu was lying and that you guys still cared for me. . .but when I finally broke, Osamu started treating me like I was a gift. He kept reminding me that you all didn't need me and would try to show me how life could be so much better with him.

"When it came down to me making the permanent decision, I kept second guessing myself. It was like, in my heart I knew it was wrong but I was just too scarred. . .I. . .he seemed like the better option. . .he seemed safer. . ."

"I feel that, Donnie. Shredder would always try to manipulate me and make sure I felt the safest with him."

Donnie held himself tighter. "I was just so lost with him. There was a part of me that he created. . .that liked it. . .wanted to stay there, but the other part of me. . .the me that you guys want back. . .was-"

"Broken, lost in the chaos of the world around you."

"Exactly. . ."

"It's like you want to be the person you were before the whole getting captured and tortured but you feel like you can't because it was forcefully taken away from you, replaced with a version of yourself you now fear. That is now telling you, you're not meant to be with us again."

"How did you. . .?"

"It's similar to how I feel about knowing I'm Splinter's daughter. That I was originally supposed to be named Miwa. I was mad at Shredder. He had forcefully taken away who I was supposed to be and turned me into his weapon for vengeance. I hated myself. I hated that I had become someone's version of me than the real me."

"Oh my gosh. . ." Donnie left his arms hanging at his sides as his mind tried to process what he was hearing. Karai, she had gone through this all way before he did, sure it was different, but the feelings she felt were nearly identical to the ones he was feeling.

"I'm guessing Osamu was also keen on using you for his own personal need for vengeance?"

"Pretty much. . .looking back at the whole confrontation moment, the way he kept me close to him, how he referred to me as his child. . .he was doing that because he cared about me, he did that to make the guys angry, to hurt them in an emotional way. Much like how Shredder-"

"Was doing that to Splinter."

"Heh, I guess it's true about what they say about history repeating itself. I even had my own Shinigami."

"Oh really?" Karai remarked out of surprise.

"I think the guys may have met her, her name was Katsumi. She was kind of like Osamu's right hand woman in a way. But unlike Osamu, she actually showed genuine concern and always made sure I was doing okay, heck at one point she even offered to somehow bring me home, but that's not important. . ."

"Well, whether or not you deem it important, it's at least comforting to me knowing you weren't completely alone with that manipulative loser."

"Thanks. . .Karai?"

"Yeah?"

"How did you heal?"

"Well Donnie, I'll tell you this, I'm still in the process. But, for me, I had to grieve first."

"Grieving?"

"Some people say when you go through something like trauma, you need to grieve for the person you lost during that, meaning yourself. I had to grieve for the fact that I'll never be Miwa. She was lost on the fire that night. Nor, will I ever be the Karai that Shredder turned me into. With help from Splinter, and you guys, I've really started to learn who I am."

"So. . .I need to grieve for the person I lost and Splinter. . .don't I?"

Karai nodded, and it was at that moment Donnie broke down into tears. Finally, he had someone who knew what it was like to go through the trauma he did, better yet, he had someone who was finally going to lead him down the right path to healing. The only question that remained. . .

What, or who, could possibly interfere?

Chapter Text

Mikey's fingers tapped away anxiously against the table counter. The simple motion was all that was keeping him from anxiously walking around, something that he knew would lead into a freak out. He couldn't freak out right now. Karai texted them, saying she was on her way. She would be there soon. She had to. She was now the only one that really knew what was going on with Donnie. She knew what needed to be done. What they needed to do.

Mikey rubbed his bandaged arm sorrowfully. He was the reason Donnie had run off in the first place. It was all his fault because got too close. He should've realized Donnie was going through something at that moment. If he would've just read Donnie's facial expressions, if he would've just seen the pain in the anger, he wouldn't have gotten hurt. Donnie would still be here and okay.

His fingers stayed on a perfect tempo as he kept thinking about what he did. He always screwed everything up. Whether he broke something of Donnie's, messed up Leo's plans, or just simply made Raph angry. He was a screw up and he did it once again. Donnie was paying for it and Karai was cleaning it up. All he wanted to do was help, be the little brother his big brother needed. If he couldn't do that for Donnie, what else was there? Nothing. He was useless. Absolutely useless. . .

"Mikey, you're gonna tap right through the table with that force." Raph commented from the couch. He had taken a small break from his weights only for his attention to be brought to his little brother and the harsh force he was using to tap away on the counter. Raph wouldn't admit it out loud, but he hated seeing the depressing look in Mikey's eye. Yeah, he knew that feeling all too well. Self blame. It was all too obvious.

"Sorry. . ." Mikey said, hiding his hands under the table as if they were on fire.

"No, Mikey, I didn't mean you have to stop."

"It's fine Raph."

"Mikey. . ."

Mikey turned around, facing away from his brother. He didn't want Raph's pity, nor did he want anyone else's. He didn't deserve it. He knew it was just a bunch of sugarcoating nonsense. He shakily walked away from the kitchen and into his own room, being careful not to slam the door. He wasn't in the mood to attract everyone's attention. He would get nothing but a few simple apologies and head pats. It wouldn't help.

Plopping down on his bed, Mikey felt as if he was back in that building. When he had gone after Donnie on his own. Everything in that moment was both stressful and amazing. He had actually been having a conversation with his brother without anyone to interrupt them. To interrupt him with a 'shut up, Mikey' 'Let the adults handle this' 'we can take care of it' No, he had done it almost completely on his own. At that moment, it felt so different. It was just him and Donnie. The proclaimed B-Team. No older brothers to take control and shut them down. Just them.

Mikey could still see the expression in Donnie change as they talked. What started out as him being defensive and unwilling, turned into Donnie protecting him and wanting to come home with him! It was amazing, it was the one time he wasn't a screw up.

He had forgotten how easy it was with Donnie. Their relationship wasn't perfect but it was surely something special. With Donnie, he felt he was actually being heard. Sure it wasn't all that often, but it happened more than with the others. And to have that conversation, after that long separation, Mikey felt the incredible need to make sure Donnie was always comfortable when he got home. He was willing to do anything for his brother no matter the task.

But he could never go long without making another mistake. He had to have done something, said something that caused Donnie to react. It had to be his fault. . .

"Just leave me alone Mikey!"

Mikey brought his knees up his chest, wrapping his arms around them he began to quietly sob. It was all his fault, it was always his fault.

'Always the screwup. . . always. . .'

"Guys!"

Mikey's head shot up at the sound of Karai's voice from the living room along with some extra footsteps. Could it be? Did she manage to get Donnie to come back? Was he willing to try again? Was he still mad at Mikey?

Wiping his tears, Mikey threw open his door and burst through the living room. His smile wide and his arms ready to embrace his brother in one of his famous Mikey bear hugs.

"Woah, easy there Mikey." Leo said as he stopped his brother from full on embracing Slash. Figuring his baby brother was intending for someone else to be in the hug. Leo almost smiled at his little brother's antics up until he noticed the dried tears and puffy eyes. At that, Leo sighed. Raph had just mentioned Mikey was most likely in a stage of self blame for Donnie leaving. Leo was about to go talk to Mikey when he too heard the shouts of Karai coming from the turnstiles as her, Slash, and Rockwell all appeared with sadly no trace of Donnie.

"Hey guys, we got some news about Don and what we need to do to help him."

"Really?" Mikey asked.

"Precisely." Rockwell said. "Over these few days I've taken some time to privately study Donatello and observe how he's functioning. It's clear that Donatello is going through extreme psychological trauma. I've yet to know what exactly it is he was dealt with but he has the symptoms. He is currently focused on staying close to Leatherhead as a way of staying secure. Whenever he is alone, it looks as though he's going to have a panic attack."

"So he feels vulnerable." Leo added.

"Correct. He was alone when the trauma occurred, it makes sense for him to want that secure feelings of someone being able to prevent that from happening."

"He did make a friend during his time with Osamu," Leo continued.

"I see, that must be who he mentions from time to time, usually during partially bad nightmares."

"He's had nightmares?" Mikey asked, whimpering at the knowledge. How he wished Donnie was still home with them. . .well then again, maybe it was for the best he wasn't. It would only take another mistake to make Donnie feel threatened and send him running away again. . .

"Yes, they're not partially long or frequent but they do seem harsh for him." Rockwell informed. "He startles easily, he has small moments where it appears he has flashbacks. The list is rather extensive."

"So what're we supposed to do?" Raph asked, hiding his growing anxiety.

"Donatello needs to let someone in on what went on. It's dangerous for him to keep these horrid feelings to himself. He's in such a deep state of self blame but also irritation from everyone else. Whatever was done to him, he needs to talk it out so he can get those deep feelings to surface allowing us to all help him deal with them properly. If not, he'll continue on this downfall until he becomes truly disconnected from you all and healing will only be that much harder to handle." Rockwell explained with a deep sadness. Wishing that he could do so much more for his friend.

"And that's where you guys come in." Karai said, taking over. "I've talked with Donnie a little bit and we're almost in the same situation. Osamu used similar techniques to manipulate Donnie in the way that the Shredder did. I explained to him that something he needs to do is mourn for the self he lost through trauma and for Splinter."

"So what? We wait until that's all done and then what?" Raph snorted, hating the idea of having to practice more patience.

"Not exactly, mourning could take weeks, or even months. Heck, none of us have really had the time to really go through the process. What I'm trying to say is that we need to spend individual time with him. We need to let him clear the air between all of us. As Rockwell said, Donnie needs to talk with someone about what went on. And seeing that Osamu was able to convince Donnie he was the better option, it's a no brainer that Osamu tainted all of our relationships with him." Karai said.

"So one at a time, we talk to him?" Mikey asked innocently. It was so hard for him to hear all that Donnie was experiencing from his trauma. But he swore he would do whatever it took to help his brother. Even if it meant he wasn't allowed to make any more mistakes. He would do whatever it took.

"Yes, but we can't do it randomly." Rockwell stated. "Since Karai has had her session first with Donatello, helping him know the basics of what he needs, the next one should focus on really trying to get through to his emotions. And with most of his nightmares consisting of Raphael and Leonardo, I believe Michelangelo should have the next session."

Everyone's heads turned in the direction of the youngest brother as Mikey shook his head. No, he couldn't be the first one. He just made Donnie leave! He messed up once again and there was no way that he could have the next session. What would he say? How was he supposed to get Donnie to talk about his emotions? On a good day Donnie never talked about his emotions, so how exactly was he to figure out his complex brother's mind and get him to talk.

"Yes, Michelangelo." Rockwell repeated.

"Mikey? Are you sure?" Leo asked, feeling a little jealous that he wasn't the next one to go.

"Are you sure he can handle it?" Raph asked, seeing how Mikey already looked to be panicking.

"Mikey and Donnie have a close bond, and Mikey was the one to get Donnie to come back. He's the best option. Donnie won't turn him down." Karai said simply.

"But he would turn us down?" Leo and Raph both asked, almost at the same time.

"As I've said, seeing that Donatello's nightmares consist mostly of you both, yes." Rockwell said.

"Look, you guys will get your chance but that's not what you should be focused on," Karai said turning to Mikey, "What do you think Mikey? Do you want to give it a try?"

After a moment of deep thought, Mikey made up his mind.

Donnie sat comfortably on the couch, his head resting on the arm rest as he aimlessly watched the documentary that was broadcasting. It had been a few days since Karai had come by and he wasn't sure if he recovered from the visit yet. Leatherhead was currently in the kitchen trying to replicate Mikey's famous soup. Donnie appreciated the gesture, he certainly missed Mikey's cooking but the thought of his little brother nearly brought tears to his eyes.

'The little brother you hurt.' Donnie said to himself. It seemed no matter what he was doing or who he was with, his mind wasn't letting him forget what he did.

Maybe because it confirmed that Mikey truly didn't need him. . .

A knock on the door brought Donnie startling himself so much he nearly fell off the couch. Resting a hand on his chest, Donnie felt the sudden rush of his heart slowly die down. He hated that he could be startled so easily. He hated that he was beginning to feel truly broken beyond repair.

"Oh, hello Michelangelo! Ah yes, he's right in there. Don't worry, I'll be sure to give you both some privacy."

Donnie watched confusedly as Leatherhead and Mondo both left the lair and went out into the world. His stomach dropped as he saw the reason why.

Mikey was standing in the doorway.

"Hey Donnie. . ." Mikey muttered, letting himself walk slowly in.

"Mikey, what're you doing here?"

"I came here to. . .to talk. . ."

"Oh." Donnie said, turning his head away.

Mikey sighed sadly, taking a seat on the floor. It felt like there was an immense weight in the room, nearly crushing Mikey under the pressure.

"Donnie, my arm, it's doing a lot better!" Mikey said, trying to be cheerful.

"That's, nice. I'm glad." Donnie said, keeping his head faced in the opposite direction as he tried to conceal his tears.

A few moments of silence passed. Mikey couldn't take it anymore. He was picked to come before the others. This was his moment to take back everything and make up for all the mistakes he made in the past that affected Donnie. This was his moment to be the shoulder for Donnie to cry on.

"Donnie, please. . .w-we, we need to talk. . ."

"About what, Mikey?" Donnie asked quietly, knowing the answer.

"Donnie, you've been home for barely a week and you've already run off. C'mon bro, I can take it. Please, just let me know what's going on."

"I've already talked to Karai. If you want to know anything she can tell you."

"But you didn't tell her everything D! I'm not expecting you to, but Rockwell said if you don't face what happened and talk to someone it'll only get worse from here on out!"

"There's nothing to talk about Mikey! Osamu captured me, broke me for two months, treated me like a prize, manipulated me, then you knocked some sense into me and now I'm home!"

"But you're not home Donnie! You're here with the mutanimals because obviously you're not comfortable with living with us."

"I am comfortable! I do want to live with you guys!" Donnie yelled.

"Then what's stopping you? What, or who, in your mind, is stopping you from coming back home?"

"I-I am I think, I don't know! I don't know anything anymore! It's all just a mess, I'm just a mess."

"No you're not Donnie! You've been through something really traumatic stuff and all I'm asking is that you face that trauma rather than run from it! Just let it out Donnie. What is making you stay here. What is keeping you from us?"

"The breaking, okay! It was that stupid scheme Osamu made to make me believe you guys didn't care! Is that enough for you?"

"You know that isn't enough anymore Don. We all know that Osamu named the torture the breaking, but you need to tell us the specifics. You need to face him. Face what that monster did to you. Don't continue to let him manipulate you into what he wanted for you. Like I told you back in the dojo, you need to make your own decisions Donnie. You need to face this!" Mikey didn't realize he was shouting until he felt the vibrations of the floor, the echo of his voice. He gasped and quickly noticed that Donnie was now facing him. His brother's eyes were filled to the brim in tears and looked like it would collapse at any moment.

"Just let it out, Donnie. . .there's no way around it." Mikey said, holding out his arms. In an instant, he was met with the force of his brother, sobbing into his chest.

As much as Donnie didn't want to think, to even remember what was done to him, he couldn't resist the look Mikey gave him, he couldn't hold it in anymore.

"H-he forced me. . .everyday. . .almost every hour to watch my memories of you guys. . .to watch you guys yell, mock, hurt me, make fun of me. . .every damn day I was in that stupid chair with that stupid helmet on. . .I couldn't see anything except you all. You, Raph, Leo, April, sometimes Casey and Karai. . . All I could do was helplessly watch as I was shocked with each word you spoke, beaten, with each punch I took.

"Everyday. . .I-I prayed you would come. That you would find me. . .but-it never happened. . .I f-foolishly believed I was still in New York. . That I wasn't well hidden. . .That you guys saw me as forsaken. . .He broke me, Mikey. . .I feel. . . broken. .the voices. . .they tell me I'm broken. That I'm nothing but a monster. . .and then I'm forced to watch, to feel that pain of R-Raph or L-Leo call me the weak and pathetic loser I know I am. . I just. . .I don't know what to do anymore Mikey. . .I can't. . .I'm broken."

Mikey held onto Donnie tightly as his brother continued to sob. He rubbed his shell in gentle circles and tried his best to hum an old Japanese lullaby Splinter would sing to them.

He breathed in relief, shock, and because he knew it was bad to hold his breath. Donnie had revealed it, the torture behind his nightmares and trauma, frankly, Mikey almost wished he didn't know.

From the sound of it, it was truly horrifying. And for two months? Mikey couldn't imagine the toll that took on his brother from constantly fighting against it.

And yet, Donnie had felt safe sharing it with him. Mikey's worries about screwing up left him in that moment as he focused on him and Donnie. He held Donnie closer in his arms. This time, he was going to protect his big brother like he had always done for Mikey.

"Donnie, I promise you, you are not broken. Okay? I know it's hard to feel that easy, but trust me. You're heading in the right direction bud and we're all gonna be here to support you through this. No matter what D."

Donnie wiped his remaining tears, realizing what he had just done. Mikey knew, he didn't know everything, but he knew. Donnie was expecting to feel this embarrassment, this anger for letting himself be so vulnerable. But, he didn't. The angry reaction the night terrors were telling him, didn't come to pass.

No, instead he felt a warmth he hadn't felt in a long time. He felt truly as though he could heal from this. No. He would heal from this. Mikey and Karai were already helping him, it shouldn't be that hard for everyone else.

"Thank you Mikey. . .so much for this."

"No problem Donnie, I'll do anything for you bro. I'm always here if you need to talk or vent, or do whatever. I want to be your emotional support through this Donnie. I'm gonna make sure you get through this, no matter the challenges."

After a few moments, both siblings fell asleep in the comforts of each other, both unaware that the healing process had only begun and it was not going to be pretty.

Chapter Text

"Hey April, It's Leo, just calling to make sure you're doing okay. We haven't seen you really since Donnie came back. Call us or come see us soon, okay?"

"Hey April, calling again because Donnie's been having a rough time, scratch that, we all have been having a rough time adjusting. Sure would help to see you, please text one of us, at least let us know you're okay?"

"April. . .I know you haven't picked up or answered any of our calls but we wanted to let you know that Donnie's finally making some progress in healing! He's had a couple sessions with both Mikey and Karai and they think you should have the next one."

"April? I know it's only been a day since the last message but Donnie told Mikey, who told me, that he wants to see you. He has some things he's ready to talk about with you so please, pick up or at least go see him. He's with the mutanimals. Please April. . ."

April stared up at the ceiling, her phone laying on the bedside table next to her. It buzzed constantly, nearly vibrating itself off the table every now and then. She brought her comforter tighter around her body, as a way to hide herself from the world. Deep down, she knew what she had to do. She had to go, she had to go see him. She wanted to see him, but. . .the moment she had glimpsed those eyes awakening, heard his voice, all she could see was the dastardly video that plagued her mind.

Constant, over and over, nonstop playing, rewinding, of a five second clip. That ear shattering scream. The way he just listened to Osamu's words like a sponge. Like he was tired of fighting and was willing to accept the false truths Osamu was making him believe.

She couldn't, there was no way for her to push it aside. To focus on her feelings and how to once again rekindle the friendship she had made with Donnie. Not when she looked over the files. Not when she looked over all the heart crushing events she did to push Donnie away to make him like nothing but a disgusting mutant.

How many times was Donnie forced to see her scattering him? Telling him she never wanted to see him again?

Her tears sank into the sheets below as they fell from her face. How could she go see him, even if he wanted her to, she could screw up. Make one wrong move and everything would be a mess again. There was no way, she didn't have the energy, nor the drive to go and mess with the ever improving healing process.

Donnie didn't deserve any more mistakes on her part, nor did she deserve to see Donnie after witnessing the true events of what Osamu did. . .

"April?"

"Go away dad. . .I just want to be alone right now. . ."

"Are you sure? Someone's here to see you."

"If it's Leo, tell him to go away too. I'm fine but I'm not in the mood to talk."

"And what if it's Donnie?" Asked an all too familiar voice.

April's head shot up from the covers as the familiar figure of her best friend stepped into her room, offering up an awkward, yet sweet little wave.

April's heart fluttered with a sense of panic yet relief. She, not so gracefully, kicked off her covers to form a better posture as Donnie closed the door behind him, taking a seat on the edge of her bed.

"Wow, you look. . ."

"Terrible? Handsome?" Donnie asked with a small smirk.

"Just like the night we saved you." April said softly, turning on her nearby desk lamp to illuminate the room somewhat. The small form of light gave her a better view of all the scars that still lingered on Donnie's bed. Truthfully, he didn't look any differently from when they had saved him.

April sat crossed legged, fidgeting with the ends of the blanket while the silence between them began to grow.

"So. . ." April said, "I'm surprised you're here. I figured the guys, or I guess the mutanimals, would have you under tight security."

"Don't worry about that, April!" Mikey yelled on the other side of her door. "Karai and I are just right out here!"

April giggled as she saw Donnie blush.

"As you can see, my proclaimed bodyguards did accompany me here even though I specifically told them I'm fine and that I don't need protection." Donnie said, intending for the last part to be heard by his so-called new bodyguards.

"Too bad D, you know the rules." Mikey said before earning a smack from Karai.

"Mikey, you know the rules too. We have to give them their privacy." Karai said, leading Mikey away from the door and out into the living room.

"Rules?" April asked once she could feel the area was completely empty of any stray listeners.

"Until I can handle. . .my 'episodes' alone, I need at least Karai, Mikey, or even Leatherhead to be within a close proximity." Donnie answered, rubbing his arms and keeping his eyes away from April.

"Episodes? So like flashbacks or is it something else?"

"Like flashbacks, when something is said or I remember something and I'm brought back into the moments of my torture, or as Osamu referred to it as, the breaking."

"The breaking? Wow, Osamu really didn't hold back, did he?"

"Not in the slightest." Donnie said with a defeated sigh.

April took the moment to scoot a little closer to her friend, enough so she could lay a hand somewhat awkwardly on his leg in an attempt for comfort. Even with the information she already knew, she couldn't imagine what else Donnie must've gone through. All those nights of believing no one was coming for him. Being falsely promised that he was in New York and not too far away from his true home.

Being manipulated and treated like nothing more than an object by Osamu. Being used as a weapon to inflict emotional harm on his family.

Suddenly, April nearly jumped from her spot on the bed, wrapping her arms around Donnie's neck and enveloping him into her embrace. She felt a steady stream of tears flood from her face as she held her friend closer. For a moment, it was just her sobs that joined the soundless environment, and for a moment, she found peace in that.

"Donnie, I'm so sorry that you were left all alone, to suffer everything Osamu did. And now, you're still suffering even though you're home! I can't imagine, being forced to watch moments of your life where we all-" April quickly gasped, her hands moving from Donnie to her lips, wishing she could turn back time for just a couple of seconds.

"Wait. . .how did you know that?" Donnie asked skeptically, almost fearfully.

"I-"

"Did someone tell you?"

"No! I. . .When Mikey came to confront you on his own, I found this small room with a bunch of files, notebooks, and a couple of tapes. I noticed there were files on all of us that included various lists of majorly negative and hurtful things we've done to you in the past. . .I didn't. . .I couldn't stop myself and I watched one of the tapes that was labeled 'Leonardo'.

"Oh no. . ."

"Against my better judgement. . .I watched it. I watched it and I saw you in that chair. . .while wearing that helmet and. . ."

"Being forced to hear and watch memories of Leo doing something that showed he felt nothing towards me. Was that it?" Donnie asked, his expression growing into a snarl.

"Yes. . .but Donnie, that was it. I only watched for a couple seconds and then I turned it off. I promised myself that I wouldn't say anything to anyone else. Please Donnie, just, tell me how you feel."

"Embarrassed that you of all people witnessed what went on. But. . .I'm not angry. I get it. It was curiosity, you guys didn't know how I came to be like. . .that. . .and you needed answers."

"Donnie-"

"April, it's fine. I'm fine, it's just. Even when I was free from it, I never wanted anyone to see me like that. In that state. I was weak, I was like a little kid who couldn't protect himself from the demons under his bed.

"Truthfully, I'm relieved that's all you saw. That wasn't. . .the easiest, but anything else he did wasn't much worse." Donnie lied, turning himself even further away from April.

"What more could he possibly have done to you Donnie?" April asked. If this really was her moment to help Donnie heal, she wanted to do everything she could to get him to lay everything on the table. Become completely transparent and keep nothing hidden.

Donnie sighed to himself, for the past couple of days he was doing nothing but going against his better judgement. He was letting everyone in and he hated to admit it, but it was getting a little suffocating, in the sense of he was finding it harder and harder to relive moments he'd rather let go of. But this was for April, how could he ever say no to her?

"I was left alone in darkness, left only with the memories I witnessed to lull me to some sort of nightmarish sleep. All these memories, they were tainted. Manipulated. I see them worse than they ever were. I can, even after all this time, still feel the pain. He would beat me, April. If something physical was going on, a soldier would come in and time the punches perfectly. If it was harsh words that were spoken, I would be shocked until the screaming match was over.

"These scars. . .They're the result of the same thing being done over and over again. Their result of me being ripped apart minute by minute, second by second." Donnie said, doing his best to keep the small droplets of moisture from escaping their confinements.

"What memories did you see of me?" April asked. Trying her best to keep the conversation going.

Taken aback for a moment, Donnie gulped before answering. "Mainly the one of you. . . molecularly scattering me across the city. Osamu really liked to use that one. Every time he would play it, he would find some other way for it to affect me. Either manipulate it further or say different things to keep hurting me emotionally. Anything to have me focusing on you hurting me and not h-him." He said, wrapping his arms around himself.

"So. . .I'm guessing that means you've never gotten over that situation. . .have you?"

"Have you?" Donnie shot back. "I'm not trying to be mean, April, before all of this, I never really thought about it much, but it comes back to me sometimes. Shell, it took me a couple weeks to recover if you want me to be honest."

"Then tell me, yell at me, get angry at me for that moment. Don't push it aside like you did after I apologized. Just stop holding everything in Donnie and let it out to me. No one, not me, not Osamu, will make you think otherwise about your true emotions."

April saw Donnie take a deep breath, how his body began to shake. For a moment, she feared he was going to break down or have another flashback. But as she saw him rise from the mattress, she prepared herself for the storm.

"Okay, yes, I was upset. I felt betrayed. I had been trying my best, day after day, I was reminding you that I was here for you. That I was here to help you through everything. I did my best to make sure it wasn't me that was making you more irritable. I made sure to give you space. I did everything I could for you April and you blew me up. You continued to listen to that aoen and left me to face the consequences.

"I didn't understand. After everything we've been through, why. . .why was it her that you listened to? Why couldn't you trust me?" Donnie asked, yet April knew he wasn't looking for any answers yet.

"April, I was in love with you. I was willing to do anything for you, risking everything for you, all I wanted was to give you the best life possible whether or not you returned those feelings." Donnie said, his legs buckling under him as he fell to the floor.

"I felt like I was being used. Like I was nothing to you. . ." He said as the tears finally came rolling down his face, falling helplessly to the floor.

April wiped her own, immediately getting off the bed and wrapping her arms once again around Donnie's neck. This time, the embrace was stronger, this time, April could feel Donnie wrap his arms around her as he accepted the gesture.

She gently massaged his shell as his sobs continued. Even without her powers, she could still feel the heavy emotions that were surfacing and finally departing Donnie's tormented mind. She could feel months of stress being released and into the open air.

"I know Donnie," She said as she held him tighter. "Everything that happened that day wasn't your fault. You're right, I kept trusting that aeon over you and you paid the price. But something I want you to realize is that she went after you because she knew you would be the only one with that possibility of getting through to me. She knew she needed to take you out before anyone else. I'm sorry that you've been feeling that way, I promise from here on out I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make you feel as comfortable as possible. I'm going to do everything I can to help you Donnie because you've always done the same for me. Okay?"

With a simple nod, April knew her message was received well.

They sat on the floor, each in each other's arms for longer than they expected, both afraid to make any sudden movements.

"Hey Donnie?"

"Yeah?"

"The guys talked about how you made friends with one of Osamu's soldiers or something like that."

"Oh yeah, Katsumi. She was a friend of Osamu. She was really nice to me."

"Aw, good, I'm glad you at least had someone who was there for you during everything."

"Yeah, Osamu tried to use her as another means of manipulation but she fought back against him and tried to help me escape." Donnie said, not even realizing that his body had slowly lowered onto the floor, his head resting in April's lap.

"So, I don't mean to pry more, call me greedy but you have been open about a lot tonight, anyway," April began as Donnie laughed.

'Oh it's so good to hear him laugh. . .it's been too long'

"Are you ever gonna talk to Leo and Raph about everything?" She immediately regretted asking. Before she could even finish the question, she felt Donnie's body seize up, his breathing harshen. His eyes looked to be glazed over as he began to hyperventilate.

"Donnie? Donnie! Can you hear me?" She started to panic, moving Donnie's head gently onto the floor so she could move herself to his side.

"Is it happening?" Mikey asked anxiously as he peeked into the room. He gasped as his suspicions were confirmed. He motioned for Karai to join as he sat on the other side of Donnie's body, adjacent to April.

"Donnie, hey Donnie. Listen to my voice. It's me, Mikey. You're safe dude. Me, Karai, April. We're all here buddy." Mikey said calmly as he lifted Donnie up enough so he could rub circles on his shell.

"C'mon Donnie, it's okay. We're here with you, you're not back with Osamu. You're here, with us." Karai said, picking a spot next to April.

"Please Donnie, what you're seeing isn't real. But we are, we're here Donnie. And we're going to do everything we can to help through this, to make sure you don't have to suffer like this everyday."

After another minute of comforting words and soothing gestures, Donnie finally felt himself come back into the present world. He blushed as he noticed everyone was staring. He hated that he was still having those dreaded flashbacks every time someone said something remotely triggering.

The truth was, he didn't know when he was going to talk with Leo and Raph. It was them that Osamu focused the most on and it was them that had the most history of hurtful comments and crude memories.

If he couldn't get past those, how was he supposed to let them in on how he felt, on everything that happened?

"Donnie?" April said, trying to draw his attention back while at the same time feeling awful that she had been the one to send him into another episode. "How are you feeling?"

"I-I'm okay now. . .I think I just need some fresh air."

April nodded, taking Donnie's hand, she led him out onto her fire escape and started to climb the rusty ladder. Mikey and Krai wandered along with them out of both curiosity and the need to make sure Donnie would be okay.

April helped Donnie reach the roof and guided him towards the middle, where she gently plopped herself down and laid flat on her back. With mild confusion, Donnie repeated, following her gaze towards the blackness of the sky.

Only, it wasn't just black.

He gasped excitedly as he noticed all the stars that were visible in the beautiful night sky.

"It's been a while since I've heard one of your astronomy lessons." April commented as Mikey and Karai joined the pair happily.

Chapter Text

Raphael and Leonardo trudged slowly forward, lazily jumping to each building, barely using an ounce of stealth or precision. Neither was in the particular mood to do so. Focusing on their feet, neither spoke a word to each other. Their minds were heavy enough, forcing a conversation would only increase their growing headaches.

A warm breeze passed between them, yet, it only increased the chills that were racing through their bodies. It barely added any means of comfort to their troubled minds.

They had just gotten the call. The call they've been waiting for, but also dreading. The call that they grew jealous of as they saw everyone else get one, despising that they were the last ones. Yet, despising when it would be their time. There was so much to be talked about, to be dealt with. Half of which they barely knew. They had no idea what everyone was being let in on. They had no single clue as to what happened to their brother. All they knew was that they were the ones that did the most damage. Whatever Osamu did, he managed to make Donnie more scared of them than anyone else.

He scarred Donnie so much that Mikey and the girls had to use all powers of persuasion to coax Donnie into having this mini confrontation with them.

Leo thought about the last two weeks, from the moment they saved Donnie it was obvious he was more clingy to Mikey than the rest of them. He had some moments with his little brother, but they were never long, they were never. . . how they used to be. His brother was fragile like. Leo was afraid anything he said would send Donnie into an episode.

He was scared. He was always supposed to be the one to protect them. His brothers were always his top priority and now, his little brother was scared of him. He had to be coaxed into having a conversation with both him and Raph. If that didn't say Donnie was afraid, no, terrified of them, Leo didn't know what did.

As Raph walked beside Leo, it was clear that the red banded brother was struggling with everything as well. Donnie was always afraid of him in some way, heck everyone was. His anger was like an unexpected bomb with a small fuse that could light up in an instant.

How was he supposed to make Donnie believe otherwise? How could he ever make it up to him?

He couldn't. He would never. He had barely a moment with Donnie and that was enough for Raph to see his brother shaking, staying a little closer to Mikey, and avoiding eye contact. There was nothing Raph wanted more than to go back to the night they had first confronted Donnie. All he had to do was tell Donnie his feelings. Let Donnie know that he missed him and would do anything to bring him back home, to complete their little and broken family.

If that was all he could've done, this night could have been somewhat different. Maybe even easier. But now, Raph's stomach was in an ugly knot. He wasn't sure if he wanted to go through with this. From what Mikey could tell them, it wasn't pretty. The torture, or 'breaking' was something that they never thought would've happened to their brother. But even Mikey said Donnie hasn't said anything about the worst of it.

What could be worse from what Mikey already described as horrific?

Just another thing both Raph and Leo felt they were unprepared to hear.

They walked closer and closer to their destination, their feet becoming heavier with each step. They shared a look with each other, confirming that they both were just as scared as the other. Tonight, everything that happens, could rebuild, or completely demolish their relationship with Donnie. All they could do was make the promise to each other and themselves that whatever Donnie told them, they would have to accept. Tonight was all about what Donnie needed, no matter how heartbreaking it may be, Raph and Leo were ready to accept whatever their brother would say.

Taking one last deep breath, Leo knocked as Raph stayed behind him.

"Hey guys!" Mikey said as he opened the door. "You ready?" He asked with more sincerity.

"Ready as we'll ever be, I guess." Leo said, keeping his gaze focused on the ground.

Mikey nodded in understanding, "Don't worry guys, it's gonna be okay. Donnie just needs to hear it from you guys that what he saw, what he thinks, isn't true. Like with me, I've been helping him believe that I do need him and that he's an amazing big brother. April's been talking to him about their relationship and Karia's been helping him with not feeling like a monster for staying with Osamu. See? Just find what's making him hesitant and really focus on helping him through that."

Leo and Raph nodded, following Mikey inside. Their eyes growing wide as they not only saw the mutanimals, but April and Karai there as well. They felt a little twinge of pain in their hearts. It hurt knowing that Mikey was spending most of his time up here with the mutanimals and Donnie, but to also see Karai and April here, and acting as though they've been here for weeks, was another stab at the heart.

"Hey Leonardo and Raphael." Slash greeted from a nearby couch.

"Hey Slash." Raph said, not meeting anyone's eyes.

"So um, I guess I'll go get Donnie!" Mikey said, rushing down the hall to where he knew Donnie was.

"So, any advice?" Leo asked no one in particular.

Everyone shared a glance, before looking back to Leo, April responded.

"Donnie is continually blaming himself for joining Osamu's side. The only way he can resolve the conflict with himself, is resolving it with you two. And I know that resolving things with Donnie will be a key into forgiving yourselves. All we can say is take it one problem at a time. Let Donnie lead the conversation and really let him know your true feelings."

"Also," Karai added, "This isn't the same Donnie that was kidnapped over four months ago. I talked to him about needing to grieve for who he lost during the torture and for Splinter as well. So just, don't expect him to be the same, and don't let him forget he's not the only one grieving. Let him know he can lean on you guys too."

Leo and Raph nodded once again, feeling the knot in their stomachs grow with each passing second. The weight of what was about to happen was slowly sinking in and neither of them knew if they were ready to handle what was going to be thrown at them.

"Hey guys, he's down here and ready to talk. . .sorta." Mikey said sheepishly. He knew Donnie wasn't a hundred percent on this whole thing but if it didn't happen soon, everyone was afraid it would never happen at all.

"Alright, thanks Mikey." Leo said.

"Wait," Raph said before following Leo down the hall. "What happens if we drive him into an episode or something?"

"We'll be right out here if anything happens." Mikey said with a hint of deceit, smiling that his brothers didn't catch it.

Just as slowly as they had arrived, the walk to where Donnie was, was just as slow and uneasy.

Leo, once again, knocked on the door.

The room was quiet, filled to the brim with an unsettled atmosphere. A quiet that the eldest brothers feared to break, and yet also feared to hear it be broken.

"Raph? Do you remember when we were about ten, maybe eleven years old?" Donnie asked, as he was currently faced away from his brothers, sitting cross legged on an old mattress.

"I think so. . ." Raph responded, looking over at Leo in confusion.

"Do you remember when Mikey snuck into your room and so he ran to me for protection?"

"Uh. . .yeah I think I do." Raph said with more unease.

"Do you remember challenging me? That if I could take you down you would leave Mikey alone? How you called me pathetic. Weak. Useless. Nothing but a failure?"

"I never. . .did I really say that?" Raph asked, more to himself than to Donnie. "Why are you bringing it up?"

"Leo?" Donnie asked, letting Raph's questions be unanswered.

"Y-yeah?" Leo gulped.

"Remember when you told me to try harder? After I had just failed in front of our family."

"About that, Donnie I never-"

"Imagine, poor little Donatello, on his own, hearing those words, day after day. Hour after hour. Minute after minute. Imagine the peaceful loving genius, subjected to hours of seeing, listening, and feeling those events tenfold."

"Donnie, what do you mean?" Leo asked in concern and confusion. With each passing second, he felt he was going to throw up from the stress he was feeling. He could already tell the others didn't go through something like this with Donnie. Almost identical to Raph, Leo could see the rage building up in Donnie. And if there was one thing anyone knew for sure about Donnie, on a bad day, he was no doubt scarier than Raph.

"The breaking, Leonardo. That's what I mean." Donnie said, tossing a scattered mess of papers into his brother's laps.

Both Leo and Raph looked over the papers, wondering just why Donnie had given it to them. They were left in confusion before they started to actually read what was on them.

It was notes Osamu had made. Notes about beatings, shocks, memories. Manipulating Donnie, taking him back to Japan, making fun at how broken and easy it was to control Donnie's decisions. There were writings about them, everything they did to Donnie with numbers. Numbers about how many times they were used.

Leo and Raph didn't understand. What exactly was done to Donnie?

"Judging by the silence, I'm guessing you guys still don't know what happened."

"Donnie, please, just tell us!" Leo pleaded, he couldn't continue with whatever Donnie was trying to do. The guilt of not knowing was killing him.

"You want to know? I was forced to watch you guys hurt me! Make fun of me! Forced to believe that the big brothers I've admired for years, see me as nothing! Think nothing of me than a broken toy that was bending at your every need for something."

"D-Don-"

"That I was forsaken. I was weak. Undeserving to be called a ninja. Every day, for two months, I watched memories of you guys. I felt the pain, I felt the hatred, I felt EVERYTHING!

"I cried myself to sleep only to wake up from horrific nightmares where worse things happened. Every night, I watched you abandon me and leave me with Osamu. I watched as you guys forgot about me. Believing I was truly in New York, I pushed everything, every fear away in the hopes that you were coming for me. My logic, my hopes, everything I wholeheartedly believed in was shattered." Donnie said in disgust, mostly aimed at himself but striking hard in his brothers' hearts.

"I let myself believe you hated me. Isn't that pathetic? You guys were spending all your energy trying to find me. You pushed away your own grieving and put me first, and what do I do? I've become a traitor. I chose someone who was only using me for his own gain, using me because he was enjoying my pain." Donnie said with a dejected sigh.

Unknown to everyone else, Donnie wasn't just avoiding his older brothers and this conversation because he was afraid of them. He was avoiding it because it was him confronting his feelings about letting himself believe there was something to be afraid of.

How pathetic was that?

"I caused you guys so much trouble, maybe it's good those memories are so engraved into my head. Now I can always remember just how pathetic I was back then and how pathetic I am now. It's no wonder why you always pushed me. Why would you ever want someone like me, someone who hurts their family in an unimaginable way?" Donnie said, his head falling forward as tears began to shed.

Raph and Leo were both at a loss for words. They were being hit with so much more than thought they would. They felt frozen in their spots, each trying to process everything they had just heard. Though, unfortunately for them, they didn't have much time to work through everything they heard to themselves.

Donnie began to shake, his body went limp, his eyes closed tightly. He was back there, in that chair once again, reliving the memories of his brothers. It was like, despite his feelings of self hatred, his mind was still thinking that it was his brothers who were at fault for everything.

Leo and Raph recognized immediately that Donnie was in one of his episodes.

"What do we do?" Raph asked in a panicked tone as Mikey, or anyone in that matter, failed to show up.

"I d-don't know!" Leo answered. "I'm so c-confused right now, I can't focus!"

"Well we have to do something! We can't just let him pass out or something!" Raph said, his own tears being shed as he watched Donnie begin to curl up into a ball of what looked to be in pure pain.

Leo found himself out of breath, trying to figure out some sort of solution.

'What would Mikey do? What would Donnie do? I can't just leave him like this. Raph's right, he's going to pass out soon. If we don't help him now he may never be able to trust us again. All this, it's going to be in vain.'

Taking a moment to pull himself together, Leo raced to Donnie's side.

"Donnie, I know you're feeling a lot right now. What you went through. . .I never imagined someone would ever put you through something like that. But you need to give yourself some credit. It's okay if you don't trust us yet. Osamu obviously did a lot to make you think we don't care about you. It's okay Donnie. Please don't beat yourself up about it. None of this has been your fault." Leo tried to comfort, taking one of Donnie's hands.

"Donnie. . ." Raph moved up to Donnie's shell, rubbing it, "We're not the best brothers and we certainly have been treating you like you're the best. You've done nothing wrong little brother. Nothing. Choosing Osamu is understandable. Like you said, for months you were forced to watch us be extremely hurtful to you. I don't know what happened in the other months but I'm betting they involved heavy manipulation. Please Donnie, let us help you. Let us take responsibility for what we did so we can earn your trust again and earn you back as a brother."

Leo and Raph waited in bated breath as Donnie's sobs started to simmer down as well as his shaking.

"That's it Donnie, you're safe and you're here in the Mutanimals home. You're with us." Leo said in a hushed tone.

Donnie looked around, then at his brothers in a still panicked state. This. . .it was still too much for him. So many feelings he was hiding, that he had kept quiet were bubbling up.

How badly he wanted to trust them again, but he had barely scratched the surface of what he went through. They didn't know about. . .the moment they did, or if they ever. . .they would go back to thinking he was a weakling, a pathetic child. He needed more time. . .yes, more time, he needed to be alone and think everything through. He was too crowded, there were too many people. He needed security. Katsumi. Maybe if he found Katsumi. . .Donnie shook his head. There were too many thoughts circling around his mind a pace too fast for his liking.

"I-I'm sorry. . ." Donnie said before pushing his brothers aside with a surprisingly powerful shove and leaving the room.

"Donnie!" Raph and Leo yelled as they followed Donnie out of the room.

"Donnie?" Everyone asked as Donnie passed them and ran straight out the door without saying anything.

"What's going on?" Mikey asked fearfully to Raph and Leo.

"We're not sure!" Leo responded, "Donnie went into an episode, we were helping him out of it when he just pushed us aside and ran!"

"Go! Follow him!" April yelled. If Donnie was placed back into a panicked state in the one place where he was feeling safe, it was possible for him to find the next source of safety.

The only other source was Katsumi, but she was all the way back with Osamu.

"Come on! We need to go now!" Mikey yelled, as he and his brothers left to go chase after Donnie.

"We should stay." April said, turning to the others. "Donnie needs them more right now."

Donnie climbed up the nearest building, tears falling down his body and onto the ground. He felt lost again, his feelings were telling him one thing while his mind was telling him something else. He felt so conflicted. He was ready to deal with these feelings yet. No, not yet, not ever.

He reached the rooftop before gasping as he heard his brother's footsteps right behind him.

"Donnie please, we only want to help you." Mikey pleaded.

"Just let me help you Donatello."

"We only want what's best for you Don! Please!"

"Donatello, I only want what's best for you."

"Please Donnie, just let us help you."

"Just let go, Donatello."

"Donnie!" Leo yelled. "Remember what Splinter told you! When you saw him in the spirit world? Don't forget what he said!"

"I can't promise that you'll ever be the person you were beforehand, but then again, that doesn't necessarily mean bad things. If you really put in the effort and trust those around you, I know that the person you are, the son I am always so deeply proud of, will shine through."

Donnie gasped as he felt his emotions overflow with a sense of peace. Peace in knowing that perhaps he really could learn to trust his brothers, himself again. That he could forgive them for everything, that he could learn to forgive himself for everything.

Looking up to his brothers, the ones that were just on the other end of the rooftop, Donnie knew they were the ones he needed to be with. The ones that didn't just want to use him as a means of revenge. That didn't value him for his skills but for who he was.

He gave them a watery smile, turning fully towards them, he stood up tall. Ready to be welcomed in their open arms.

Yet, as he started to take that first step, he became puzzled at their suddenly fearful expressions. What was wrong now? Was this not what he was supposed to do? Why did something suddenly feel so off, but familiar?

"DONNIE!" They all yelled as they ran for him, pulling out their weapons.

Donnie was left in confusion for just a moment before he felt his body be forced backwards. His arm was painfully grabbed as he found himself in a familiar grip, a knife being brought to the edge of his throat.

"You really thought you could escape me?" Osamu said as he moved the knife closer to Donnie's throat, watching happily as the guys stood six feet away, helpless to do anything. . .

Chapter Text

"Let him go, Osamu!" Leo yelled, pointing his sword towards where Osamu stood with Donnie.

Raph and Mikey stood at Leo's side, their weapons at the ready. With matching glares of pure hatred, the guys were nothing but fearful inside. Hostage situations were never good and usually never ended well for them. One wrong move and they knew Donnie could end up paying dearly for their mistakes, though, it seemed he already had.

Leo's arm's shook with a mix of fury and anxiety. The night's events of when Donnie had been captured were once back in his mind again, playing over and over like an endless loop. That night, he had finally managed to coax Donnie into letting someone help to heal him from Splinter's death. They were so close to going home happily and then Osamu had attacked for the first time, now the same thing was happening.

Donnie was ready to face his inner demons he was keeping from them. He was ready to come back home and let them in on everything that had happened. They were ready to really begin the next stages of the healing process and focus on repairing their family once again, learning to become whole.

And yet, Osamu had been there. They had foolishly believed that they no longer needed to fear him. With each passing day, their fear had dwindled, turning into deep concern for their traumatic brother and what they could do to help him. They, like Donnie had, ignored the logical parts in themselves and replaced it with deep emotions they had been concealing for far too long. Giving Osamu the perfect opportunity to swipe in and attack at their most vulnerable state.

Raph could hardly look at Osamu, keeping his gaze focusing on Donnie and how close the dagger was to his throat. He was careful not to direct any of his glaring towards his peaceful loving brother. Instead, whenever he met Donnie's eyes, he softened his facial expression, making sure Donnie knew that in the moment Raph truly did care for his safety and wasn't about to leave Donnie in his moment of need.

He wanted to punch himself, well, himself and Osamu. They let this happen. After all they went through to bring their brother back home, he was just as quickly back into the clutches of the enemy. Raph growled, gripping his sais tighter. Much like Leonardo, his mind was also entertaining him in his failures the night Donnie was captured.

He was too late then but he wasn't about to be too late now. He watched Osamu with careful eyes. The moment that grip let up, he would be ready to swoop in and save his brother, just as Osamu had swooped in to hurt him. Raph was ready, ready to once again, do whatever it took to save his brother. Even if Donnie would always be wary, always have scarred memories of them, Raph was ready.

And so was Mikey.

As his brothers watched intently, so did Mikey. He was tearing up as he watched Donnie struggle out of Osamu's grip only to stop suddenly each time his neck met the edge of the blade.

He had been the one practically designated to protect Donnie these past couple of days. He had been the one Donnie trusted to take care of him. He was supposed to be keeping Donnie safe, not have him be forcefully held in the enemy's hands.

A hundred scenarios of what could happen were playing through Mikey's head. Fears of Donnie being sent into another episode, having a panic attack, or even worse, being led into Osamu's manipulative lies were the reason Mikey could do nothing but watch. Anything anyone did could lead Donnie into any one of the items he listed. Doing so would send Donnie back into a state of not knowing what to do and only trusting the person he felt the safest towards. It wouldn't matter how many sessions they had gone through with him, if a crucial mistake was made on any of their parts, it could reverse everything.

It could send Donnie wanting to be back with the enemy.

On the other hand, the last place Donnie wanted to go was with Osamu. He couldn't imagine life back with the one who had ripped him away from his true family. The one who spent months manipulating and deceiving him into believing lies and false pretenses of actual truths. The one that had scarred him so much he could barely look at his older brothers without going into an episode.

Those episodes, those horrifyingly emotional episodes that Donnie loathed with all of his being. It was like he could hardly do anything without being reminded of what he went through. He couldn't carry a normal conversation if it involved some sort of trigger. Heck, he couldn't get through a moment with his siblings because of all the hurtful memories that were now permanently etched into his psyche.

Donnie tried to struggle out of Osamu's grip but feared doing so would only aggravate his enemy. All he could do was patiently wait for the perfect moment where his enemy was distracted so he could run back into the comforts of his brothers.

Osamu laughed as he felt Donatello's struggles soften. The turtle had finally realized struggling was going to get him nowhere, as did the rest of the turtles as their fighting stances were shifted, looking less likely to pounce.

He felt so much pride. He knew something like this would happen. That poor little Donatello would feel uncomfortable with his family and seek comfort somewhere else. He remembered feeling so giddy when his soldiers informed him of Donatello leaving the sewers, only to run to the comforts of those dusting mutanimals.

In retrospect, Osamu wished he would've spent a little more time drilling the harsh memories of that certain group so that Donatello would have no one but Katsumi to run into, nonetheless, he wasn't afraid to admit to some mistakes. At least he was able to still get the turtle once more. He was tempted to try something the other night when he saw Donatello with that wretched red hair April O'Neil but he forced himself to wait. He couldn't pull something like this off without the audience of his brothers.

Where's the fun in that?

This was exactly what he wanted.

To see the brothers so determined once again to rescue one of their own after so many hardships. To see that their brotherhood was so close to being fixed and that he was the one thing that stood in their way. Yes, this was exactly how he wanted things to play out. Though, he didn't want to play games forever.

As fun as it was to use Donatello as a piece of prey, he knew he needed to escape quickly with both him and his prize intact. With how much time, devotion, money, planning he put into this whole scheme, he was not about to give it up so his enemies could have their little perfect happy ending while he was doomed to suffer from his failure.

Keeping the dagger as close as he could to Donatello's neck, Osamu quickly formulated multiple routes at which he knew for sure he would be able to escape unharmed and quickly with Donatello, especially thinking of perfect ways to keep the others at bay.

All he needed to do was get to the edge of the building and he was home free.

"Now!" Leo yelled again, trying his best to mask his fear.

"But we're having so much fun, aren't we Donatello?" Osamu said, moving the dagger teasingly closer to the vulnerable skin underneath. "Besides, what are you going to do if I don't? Attack me? As much as I do wish to escape here with Donatello, killing him is fine enough."

"NO!" The brothers shouted in union, each of their heart rates racing.

"That's what I thought." Osamu smiled, "So, why don't you drop your weapons like good brothers."

Leo snarled, turned his head back to the others, he gave a small nod, and dropped his own weapons first. It was followed by Mikey next, then finally Raph.

"That easy? Interesting." Osamu remarked, fully enjoying all the power he had in this situation. As long as he had Donatello, he could have the rest of the mutants do whatever pleased him. Yes, it was a very powerful position, one he would surely use to its full potential.

"Osamu please!" Mikey pleaded. He barely moved past Leo as he gave Osamu one of his best puppy dog eyes, hoping it would have some effect. "You've already done so much to him! Are you really going to do that again?"

"What, exactly, do you mean?" Osamu asked, his devilish smile being masked by the shadows of the night.

"The breaking! That's what I mean!" Mikey yelled, Raph and Leo both nodding and doing their best to keep up their hateful expressions.

"So, Donatello finally told you all about the breaking." Osamu said in a way that made Mikey regret saying anything. "So Donatello, how much did you tell them?"

"E-Everything. . ." Donnie stuttered. He was practically holding his breath at this point. Whether it was from the fear any moving would cause the blade to cut or because he was afraid of what Osamu was going to say, he didn't know.

"Everything? So you told them all about the tank?"

Donatello's eyes went wide with fear. Little air was able to escape through his lungs as his mind thought back to that dreadful moment. Forced to watch as his memories once again passed by mind, having to choose whether to hold out until the end or just simply give up. That moment where he felt the weight of the world and could only watch as the light from above vanished, as did his will to continue on.

It was the one thing he didn't want anyone in his family to know. He couldn't bear to deal with their pitiful, disappointed expressions as he told them of wanting to give up, wanting to die. Ready to give up what the world offered, to give up on their brotherhood. He believed they would surely think less of him. That they would leave him. That he would truly be forsaken.

Like Osamu always told him.

'Donatello the forsaken'

"Osamu! Don't say anything!" Mikey yelled as he saw the visible fear in his brother's eyes. As much as Mikey wanted to know everything that happened, especially if it was something serious, he didn't want Osamu to tell him. It wasn't right.

"But don't you wish to know about the moment where your brother truly gave up on you?"

"No!" Donnie yelled, struggling harder than ever before, not even paying the slightest attention to the way the dagger was already cutting into his flesh, leaving a small trail of blood behind.

"You have no right!" Leo yelled, his hands bawling up into tight fists. He only just learned what was truly happening to Donnie in those months of capture, if there was something worse done, Leo couldn't imagine how hard it would be for Donnie to talk to them about it.

"They're right Osamu, you say anything and I'll send you right back into Japan." Raph threatened, cracking his knuckles in the hopes it would drive some fear into Osamu. He hated that couldn't do anything at the moment. With Donnie still at Osamu's mercy, and Osamu being okay with the idea of Donnie dying at his hand, Raph could do nothing.

"Oh come on Donatello," Osamu laughed, "wouldn't you love to tell them how I forced you into a tank, completely submerging you in saltwater?"

"Osamu p-please! D-Don't!" Donnie pleaded, tears streaming down his face.

"How I fit you with weights and chains so you would have no hope of reaching the surface?"

"O-O-Osamu!"

"Testing you, to see if you would rather die than hold out for your brothers!" He yelled, smiling as Donnie fell limply in his grip, his head directed away from his family.

"Or should I tell them what led you there? Let's see, was it the way you begged for death? Or was it perhaps the way you just were so ready to give up on all hope? Perhaps it was due to the focus on Michelangelo's memories that stirred those emotions of wanting nothing but death. Hm, I'm not sure, would you care to weigh in, Donatello?"

With his eyes shut tight, all Donnie could do was avoid the eyes of his brothers. He couldn't imagine seeing how they reacted to hearing about his lowest point. His breaking point. To hear how he drowned under the pressure. How he didn't wait till the very last second, whether he was to actually live or die, he knew he should've held out and not given up like the coward he knew he was.

As the clouds crackled above, the only thing that could be heard were Donatello's sobs.

"Donnie? Are you okay?"

Donnie turned his head, only a little, facing the brother he least expected to hear the question from.

Raphael had now taken the leading position, having moved closer to Osamu and Donnie, he was going to do whatever he could in the moment to make sure Donnie knew the opposite of what he was thinking.

"Donnie, don't you dare think for a second that you are weak or pathetic. Believe it or not, I know you and how that big brain of yours works sometimes. You are not weak, little brother. You are one of the strongest people I know, Donnie. You were forced into making decisions that none of us could ever imagine making. And I mean it! I mean it Donnie!

"For shell's sake you were drowning! You had no clue if we were coming, heck with all that you saw of us you probably didn't even want us to come! And that's okay! Donnie, look, I'm not great at saying these things, but. . .I'm sorry Don. I'm sorry that I gave Osamu a reason to kidnap you and do all of those awful things to you. But listen, even knowing that at your worst, you were forced into a lose-lose situation, I'm still here for you Donnie. I'm still going to do everything I can to help you. I still think you're crazy amazing and strong. No matter what you're telling yourself, remember that I, we love you Donnie and anything Osamu does, or says, will ever change that."

Donnie, against everything his mind was telling himself. All the reasons why he deserved what was happening, why he was still a traitor, and why he should've been better, were all washed away the moment he looked into his brother's eyes. For what felt like the first time, he could see that Raph truly did care for him. His big brother, the one that was often portrayed as another demon in the night, was fighting for him. Loved him and was ready to do whatever it took to make up for everything.

Donnie felt a new form of tears stream down his face, only this time, they weren't out of despair. They were out of the realization his brother truly wanted him, no matter what.

Osamu watched the sight with disgust. Did the family always have to be so emotional when it came to times like these? He scoffed, but soon realized that the brothers were slowly advancing towards them. He saw how Donatello was gently trying to shift his body weight so if the time came, he would be ready to run.

No, he couldn't let this family reunion happen. He couldn't let them become whole! He was Bushi Osamu, this was his legacy. He was destined to destroy all other clans to bring up his own. He was to be what Oroku Saki wished. He was supposed to avenge his family. With a growl of anger, he readied his dagger.

No matter what, the Hamato Clan was ending tonight and if that meant taking away the one he had sought after, in the hopes he would become a valuable asset, then so be it.

Osamu gripped his dagger tightly, his mind made up. No matter the consequences, this was ending tonight!

"No! I will not stand for this! Your pathetic family will be NO MORE!"

"DONNIE!" Someone yelled, someone Osamu couldn't register in time before he felt an excruciating pain in his chest.

His head turned slowly around, his grip on Donatello lightened enough for the turtle to break through his grasp and run straight for his brothers. Though, that wasn't what he was paying attention nor was it the sword that was now sticking through his chest. It was the one who had done it.

"K-Katsumi?"

"nemuri ni tsuku, watashi no yujin. . .Go to sleep, my friend."

With one last look of hatred, betrayal, but also sadness, Osamu fell to the ground, his eyes closing as his last breath escaped him.

Katsumi watched, a tear running down her face as Osamu perished.

Somehow, she always knew it would come to this. Ever since Osamu started on his path to destroy all that was the Hamato Clan, she could see the hatred, the fury grow more and more with each passing day. Deep down, she knew it would continue to grow, that it would stem into a similar version of what the Shredder had become. She knew, if anyone was to do the deed, it was going to be her. She felt she was the only one that could.

Osamu had been her closest friend, she had been his. But revenge had gotten in between that. Deadly revenge.

She bowed her head, giving a small but silent prayer to her deceased friend.

"Katsumi?" Donnie asked, turning around just before he could embrace his brothers. As hard as it was for them to wait, they understood the situation, and knew it was important for the two to talk.

"Donnie. . ." She said before gently hugging him.

"Is he. . .is he really?"

"Yes, I was able to escape the place he was keeping me. He was hoping that you would come and try to find me so he could do something like this."

"I see. . .thank you Katsumi, for. . .everything."

"Of course Don, and if you ever need to talk to me, I'll be here."

"You're gonna stay in the city?"

"Hey, someone's gotta rebuild the Bushi clan and actually make it something that's honorable and stands for justice." She said before giving Donnie one more hug. "Go to your family Donnie, go home."

Donnie gave her a watery smile, with one final wave, he turned and ran into Raphael's waiting embrace.

"Donnie!" Mikey and Leo yelled and they surrounded their two brothers. As rain began to fall, the brothers could feel all these months of turmoil, finally, wash away.

Chapter Text

"Thank you again Leatherhead, seriously, thank you all for taking care of me the last couple of days." Donnie said gratefully, giving all the mutanimals a gentle smile.

"Of course, my friend. You and your family are always welcome in our home." Leatherhead said, enveloping Donnie into a big hug in which all the other mutanimals joined in. Donnie accepted the warm embrace, making sure they all could feel his immense gratitude.

"Oh! I almost forgot, Mikey's having a pizza party to celebrate everything, you guys are invited!" Donnie said as the hug ended.

"We'll be there." Slash responded as the others nodded.

Donnie gave them one more smile before turning away.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Leo asked, leaning off the wall he had been resting on as he waited for Donnie to say his thanks to the mutanimals.

Leo had almost let Donnie go by himself but it was actually his brother that wanted the leader to accompany him. It made Leo feel amazing to know that his little brother was growing more and more comfortable with him, getting to the point where they could be alone for long periods of time without any episodes.

In fact, Donnie's episodes were almost completely nonexistent. It had been days since his last one and hadn't shown any signs of having another one, though they were all still cautious.

"It went great, I remembered to invite them to Mikey's big pizza party tonight."

"That's good!" Leo said, knowing that when it came to remembering things, Donnie was having a more difficult time than he would've liked.

The most challenging part was trying to remember something as simple as what someone asked him for without him spiraling into what he did remember. Or they would face the struggle of Donnie seriously struggling with what to remember due to all the shocks he had received. They each hoped that with every passing day he would continuously heal from all that he endured.

"Yeah, I'm actually starting to get excited for tonight." Donnie replied as he and Leo began their walk home.

"Donnie, that's really awesome. I know parties haven't been your style lately. So, are you feeling anything else?" Leo asked, doing his best to play casual.

Donnie sighed, he was asked that question at least three times a day now. He didn't blame his family, he knew it was a way to keep him from closing off. Truthfully, he always felt better admitting to what he was feeling, it was just hard. Especially if what he was feeling was complex.

"I wish Katsumi wasn't leaving tonight. . ." Donnie admitted. "We've just grown so close, she feels like family to me."

Leo took Donnie's hand and squeezed it. After Osamu's death, Katsumi had talked to them all about going back to Japan to retrain and rebuild the Bushi clan. To make it a clan that truly stood for honor and justice. Donnie hadn't taken the news too well but they had luckily convinced her to stay for the party tonight before leaving.

Truthfully, Leo wanted Katsumi to stay too. She really helped them understand the whole breaking plan and Osamu's strategies. She cleared up grey areas for Donnie and explained how Osamu worked and his downfall. Though, Leo could see how hard it was for her to explain certain subjects, especially concerning Osamu. He was her first friend after all, but that's where Donnie had helped her.

He became the friend that she needed and in return, she helped him heal.

"I know it's hard, Donnie, but she said she would visit now and then, right? Especially if there's a moment you really need her. As much as it hurts, it'll be good for her to do something for herself, okay? And don't you worry little brother, we'll make sure to take extra good care of you." Leo said reassuringly, his arm wrapped around Donnie's neck as they reached the familiar sewer grate.

Once they both climbed down, Leo was about to lead the way home when Donnie suddenly hugged him tightly.

"Donnie?" Leo asked worriedly, fearing his brother was suffering from some other emotional turmoil.

"Thank you, A-Aniki. For everything." Donnie said through a small stream of tears.

"Don't worry Ototo, I'm always going to be here for you, even if you don't want me to." Leo said, through his own set of fresh tears.

"I'm actually healing Leo, we're actually healing."

"I know, Dad would be so proud of you Don."

"Same goes for you big brother." Donnie said happily as they both made their way home.

"Hey Raphie?" Donnie asked as he knocked on Raph's door.

"Don?" Raph said, opening his door faster than Donnie expected.

"Can we talk for a second?"

"Yeah, sure Don." Raph said, opening his door for his brother to come in.

They both took a spot on his bed, something that Donnie didn't take lightly. He knew Raph hated anyone coming in his room, more or less someone coming in and actually touching his stuff.

'I guess that's the perks of having been traumatized for months, hm, not bad.' Donnie thought to himself.

"So, what's this about? Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?" Raph asked, his voice growing more panicked with each question.

"Woah, Raph calm down. You didn't do anything wrong, I just. . .I wanted to ask you because I know you won't sugarcoat everything like Leo and Mikey."

"Okay. . .I'm listening." Raph said, almost worriedly.

"Am I doing okay? As in, am I adjusting well? Everyone says I am but they make it sound like I'm a toddler or something that got lost in the mall. . .I need a serious perspective." Donnie asked, knowing it was a random question but he couldn't deny the tight feelings in his chest whenever someone made the comment about how well he was doing. Not only did he receive comments similar from Osamu but he just needed to know for sure if they were always and will always be true.

"Can I ask why it matters so much for you to know? Shouldn't you be focused on your own feelings about it?"

"It matters because. . .Osamu did so much to me to make me believe I didn't want to be with you guys. Those were my own feelings then and now, I just want to make sure I'm not being lied to."

"Don," Raph said, "Honestly, you're doing just fine. Your training has really improved, you haven't had an episode in days, your sleeping schedule is normal, but we all know that's gonna change when you get back to tinkering away in that lab of yours- is this about that? How you haven't been working that much in your lab? Donnie I swear if this is you judging yourself on your worth again-" Raph said, shaking his head. Of course Donnie would take not working on inventions as his adjusting isn't going well. It was just another way Osamu manipulated him. Making him believe that his worth was determined by what he invented.

"Donnie, listen, we never should have let you ever believe that we only value you for your skills. You are worth so much more than anything you could ever build Don, I'm sorry Don, shell, I'm sorry that I never really took the time to apologize for every time I was mean. Look Donnie, take as much time as you need for yourself. Don't worry about inventing stuff for us to make us feel comfortable, you've done enough for us. Just, focus on you Don, okay?"

"O-Okay, and Raphie?" Donnie asked, actually feeling the emotion radiating off his brother's words, while at the same time snickering to himself. The genius was just starting to learn the advantages he gained, one of which included using his tough brother's childish nickname whenever he pleased.

"Yeah Don?"

"How're you doing? I know that adjustment is just as hard for you guys as it is for me."

"I won't lie, it's tough not criticizing myself, thinking I could've done more, thinking that I should have never yelled at you, and-"

"Raph, you know I-"

"Just give me a sec, Donnie." Raph said before Donnie could continue interrupting him. "Anyway, it's tough but then I see how happy you look whenever we're all spending time together and yeah, you know what I mean." Raph saying, not wanting to continue talking about feelings and everything that comes with it.

"Yeah, I know Raphie." Donnie said with a knowing smile.

"Okay, I know fearless is falling for the whole Aniki thing, but you're limited to how many times you can use the Raphie one."

"Aww, but Raphie!"

"I mean it Don."

"Fine, whatever you say. . .Raphie." Donnie said before yelping as he was shoved off the bed.

"Welcome home little brother."

"Are you sure we should be making the pizzas? Wouldn't it be easier to order them?" Donnie asked as Mikey drizzled his acclaimed 'Mikey sauce' over one of his homemade pizzas.

"First of all, I'm offended that you judge my culinary talents. Second, if we ordered pizzas we wouldn't be having this awesome moment together!" Mikey said as he shoved his third pizza into the oven.

"Oh forgive me, wise and talented Michelangelo." Donnie said with a little laugh. "So why do we need another pizza party? We had one just the other night."

"Well you see my dear Donatello, that one was for us, this one is for us, plus our other friends! Besides, you can never have too many pizza parties."

"Whatever you say Mikey." Donnie said, leaning on the kitchen table. "Hey Mikey?" Donnie asked, hating to shift the light-hearted conversation, but he knew he couldn't keep waiting for a right time to talk about it.

"Yeah?"

"I was talking to Casey the other day and he told me that. . .during my capture you were cleaning my lab, or at least always in there, talking to me."

"O-O-Oh yeah!" Mikey said, blushing. "I know it's silly but i-in a way it made me feel like you were close. . .!"

Donnie, without saying anything, moved from his position on the table to suddenly wrapping his arms around his baby brother. He gave him a tight squeeze, making sure his little brother could feel his grateful emotions.

"Mikey, throughout all of this, you've been the one that I've trusted the most. You were the one to come back to me and make sure I knew how much you and the guys missed me. It was you that got me to snap out of Osamu's manipulation. You that helped me the most through my episodes, that always made sure I was comfortable. It was always you. You're a treasure Mikey, because, even though you were struggling, you put me first."

"Of course I did, Donnie! You always put me before any of your needs, I wanted to do the same for you!"

"And I will always appreciate you, but Mikey, I'm really doing okay right now so it's time for you to spill. How're you feeling? And don't you deny that you're feeling something upsetting. I've studied my baby brother for years, always knowing when something is weighing on his mind."

Mikey sighed, realizing there was no way out of it. Of course Donnie would see behind his clever facade. He knew Raph and Leo wouldn't notice until he had dealt with the feelings himself. They were focusing everything on Donnie, which Mikey didn't blame them for. His immediate older brother deserved the attention.

"I. . .I wish Dad was here with us. . ." Mikey finally said, his head hanging low.

"I-I do too Mikey. . ." Donnie said, rubbing circles on Mikey's shell.

"I-Is it bad t-t-t-that I still miss h-him? You, Leo and Raph seem to be d-doing so g-great. A-And I know w-we didn't h-have the closest r-relationship b-but. . ." Mikey said, tears falling down his face, splashing onto the floor.

"Mikey. . ." Donnie said, hugging his brother once more. "It's perfectly okay for you to still be missing him. It's been more than half a year since he passed. . .it's gonna take a while for us to ever really get used to him not being here or at least be okay with it. And don't think that you have any less of a right to miss him than Leo or Raph since they had a closer bond, okay? He's just as much as your father than he is ours."

"D-Donnie?"

"Y-Yeah?"

"How was it. . .? Seeing and talking to him. . .?" Mikey asked. Leo had ultimately spilled the beans that Donnie had spoken with Splinter at one point in which Donnie had to explain later to his very confused brothers what exactly that meant.

"It was. . .nice. I mean of course I was deeply troubled with what choice to make but otherwise, it was nice. Just know Mikey, that even though he's not physically here with us, he always will be spiritually here, does that help?" Donnie asked.

"Y-Yeah, it does. It really does."

"And hey, if you ever need to talk more about him or have any other feelings, just because I'm still healing that doesn't automatically mean I'm not here to talk to my little brother."

"I love you Donnie."

"I love you too Mikey."

Donnie kneeled in front of the little memorial that he and his brothers had sent up for their father, shortly after his passing.

"Father, thank you for everything you've done for me. I know we didn't have the closest bond but you always supported me. You always made sure I felt proud of my inventions and always encouraged me to never give up.

"You helped me to know that I need to make my own choices, not let anyone else take that right away from me. Father. . .I

"I promise, I'm going to continue being the turtle I know I am, the son you always saw me as, and the brother I want to be."

Donnie took a deep breath as he gently unfolded the purple fabric that he had been keeping safely tucked away in his belt ever since he was first rescued. He closed his eyes as he brought it up to his face, wrapping it around his head and finishing it up with one final knot.

"Hey Donnie! The party's starting!" Mikey yelled from the kitchen.

"Coming!"

Finally, each member of the family thought. After what felt like an endless cycle of drowning in regret, sorrow, and anguish, now felt as if they each had finally resurfaced.