Chapter Text
world destruction
gon: okay i have a question
leorio: oh god
gon: if i were to-hypothetically- own 7 exact copies of the same outfit and wore a different one every day
gon: would that still be wearing the same outfit every day
gon: hypothetically
kurapika: ig not
gon: HA
gon: SEE KILLUA? I DONT WEAR THE SAME OUTFIT EVERYDAY
killua: MOTHER FUCKER
leorio: YOU OWN 7 COPIES OF THAT OUTFIT?
leorio: THE UGLY GREEN ONE WITH BOOTY SHORTS?? AND NEON GREEN DEMONIAS ???
gon: don’t diss my demonias
killua: did you just say diss
kurapika: did you just use alliteration in a normal conversation
killua: DID YOU JUST SAY DISS
gon: it was funny and you all know it
killua: i will strangle you next time you say diss
gon: do it pussy
killua:
killua: sobs
hisoka: y’all
kurapika: stupid fucking clown bitch i will punch you
hisoka: I DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHIYN YET???
kurapika: i know
hisoka: okay so what i was going to say-
hisoka: was that i just bought a whole cat
kurapika: why
gon: can i have it
kurapika: no it probably got a disease from hisoka
killua: IM YELLIGJFJFJ
leorio: what did you name it
hisoka: his name is brick
kurapika:
kurapika: brick-
killua: YOU NAMED THE CAT BRICK?
hisoka: yes and he’s very handsome
kurapika: i’m gonna crycfnfn
illumi: hisoka why did you want a cat
hisoka: i got him out of spite
hisoka: also i named him brick out of spite
illumi: elaborate-
hisoka: no
killua: okay it’s time for bed. no more. none of this is happening because in asleep. i do not see because i’m sleeping. good night.
gon: i’m coming over to get brick
killua: i’m coming with you
gon: i thought you were asleep
killua: that was then
gon: that was 7 seconds ago
killua: fine i won’t come with
gon: lol okay loser
killua: bITCH
kurapika: fuck it lets all just go to hisokas house to steal his cat
hisoka: no please don’t steal my cat
hisoka: he’s very precious to me
hisoka: more than illumi
illumi: bitch
gon: we can eat the cat and say we finally ate a brick 😍
hisoka: i...💔
leorio: okay maybe don’t eat the cat?
gon: stfu i will boil you
kurapika: kinky 😟 ??€8¥[]£¥[¥[
killua: that’s nice
killua: i would’ve named the cat jared tho
hisoka: okay what were not gonna do is criticize brick
killua: i’m not
killua: i’m criticizing you for not naming him jared
hisoka: no cause that’s a j name
hisoka: and j names are always losers
gon: yeah brick isn’t a loser
gon: can i have him
hisoka: NOFJCJC
gon: i’m putting on my neon green demonias rn
leorio: NOT THE DEMONIAS💔💔
killua: kinda hot ngl 😩😩
illumi: wh-
leorio: cries
hisoka: good
hisoka: cry
leorio: slander 💔
illumi: stfu hisoka your hair looks like a bad case of chemical burn 😟
hisoka: shawty :(((((
illumi: no
gon: so
gon: can i have brick or not
hisoka: BITCH ?? NO ??
hisoka: get your own 😡😡☝️
gon: <\3
gon: nobody hmu…
gon: #brocken #depreshunn #dhmu 💔💔
killua: wow look what you did hisoka you bitch 🙄🙄
kurapika: cancel hisoka 🙄
leorio: smh hisoka wow 🙄🙄
illumi: i cant believe you shawty 😰 how could you
illumi: just when i thought we had a connection
hisoka: i see how it is 💔💔
gon: you brought this upon yourself and now i will be unlocking my 12th chakra of destruction and wipe the floor with your stupid ass 😡😡
leorio: 12th?? CHAKRA?? OF DESTRUCTION???
killua: kung fu panda kinnie…
illumi: i hate you
killua: why? i’m so sw a g tho..
hisoka: shakes violently in hot pink stolen heels
hisoka: i'm terrified 😟😟🙁🙁😔
kurapika: if we cant steal your stupid ass cat at least have some fucking CLASS to send some pictures you absolute animal
leorio: the indecency is audacious
gon: agreed, so unruly.
hisoka: is it hate on hisoka day or sumn...💔💔
hisoka: just for that i’m not gonna send you guys shit 🙄🙄
kurapika: wow not even a fucking crumb
killua: yeah hisoka wtf feed your starving children
illumi: wow thats a new low the bar is on the floor
kurapika: yeah hisoka, just like your moms saggy ass tits
hisoka: STFUWAIDHSJCH
gon: HELPSJXKSXJ
hisoka: it really reflects on a guy about how he treats a mother 🙄
kurapika: good thing i’m not a guy and she’s not my mother 😫
hisoka: cries
illumi: cry harder bitch
gon: so, hee so kah
hisoka: w
hisoka: what
gon: i really want brick
hisoka: when are you gonna stop asking me for my cat
gon: a week to 6 months
hisoka: wHA T
killua: yeah sounds about right😹😹
killua: last year gon got obsessed with neon green
hisoka: isn’t he like
hisoka: still obsessed with it
killua: lol yeah😹😹😹
kurapika: hey leorio
leorio: what🐸
kurapika: i’m going 2 get u >:)
leorio: is this what the school counselors were warning us about
illumi: NKT THE SCHOOL COUNCELORSNCJ
gon: kurapikas a sigh bear bowly confirmed ?!?!!💔💔
kurapika: i can explain😹😹
leorio: it’s too late homie😹😹
kurapika: bro...😹😹
leorio: you can’t be in our group n e more bro😹😹
kurapika: #brocken #dhmu #hmu #emo #streaks💔💔
hisoka: yeah smh #uninvited to my supreme mega sweet 7th birthday bash
gon: did anyone else ever get sucked into the sides of bouncy houses and fear youd never see rhe light of day again bc you were scared it was gonna tip over and youd be lodged in the void forever or was that just me
killua: are,,, are you okay
hisoka: NO BC SAME
illumi: stares into the distance as salty red tears leak out of my DARK HOLE PITCH BLACK colored orbs and splatter onto my edgy clothes. I shake with pain,
and it is everybody who is in here’s fault.
hisoka: so… how salty are they exactly
illumi: theyre as salty as the ocean in which my remaining fucking sanity drowned in 🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍💞💞🥺🥺
hisoka: i dunno shawty that sounds kinda hot
gon: hc that when they fuck hisoka licks illumis tears 😍😍
killua: no bc thats literally canon
kurapika: firstly why are we talking about them fucking and secondly omg hisoillu tear kink confirmed 🙁🙁
illumi: youre paying for my therapy 😟😟
kurapika: no bitch i’m broke asf💯🥶🥶🥶🥶😈😈😈😈💯🥶🥶😈💔🙏🙏🙏
leorio: illumi shawty arent you the rich one or
illumi: i chose to ignore that
hisoka: be my sugar daddy 🥰🥰😍😍💞💞😈😈
illumi: no
hisoka: heart been broke so many times 💔💔💔💔💔😕😕😕
gon: #betrayal#drama#telenovela#gasp
killua: top 10 anime betrayals 😨😨
gon: (NOT CLICKBAIT!!!! WAIT TILL THE END FOR A SURPRISE 😨😱)
killua: sponsored by best fiends
kurapika: remember to like and subscribe
gon: comment down below !
illumi: die
gon: bitch
gon: sobs and shits everywhere
killua: shawty im not like hisoka i dont have a tear kink
leorio: scat kink probably 😟 coughs t*npa kinnie