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It’s a quiet morning at Rose Apothecary. Patrick breathes deeply, smiling to himself as he leans over and places his elbows on the counter, resting his head in his hands. He thinks about how lucky he is to be here right now, owning, running and co-managing a store with his husband. He thinks about how fulfilling his life is - to have the chance to be professionally successful and to be blissfully happy being married to the love of his life. He thinks about being accepted by his family, having had the chance to repair some of the damage from his time away after he ran and all the times he brushed off their calls and texts and questions.
Patrick glances out the window at the square in the middle of this small town that has also accepted him with open arms and lack of judgment. He feels grateful to be a part of this too. To feel like he’s somewhere he belongs.
No sooner has he gotten completely lost in these thoughts, realizing his mouth has twisted into a little smile for no one but himself, than he notices something moving in his peripheral vision as he stares across at Twyla’s Cafe Tropical with Bob’s Garage looming behind. He swishes his head around quickly and looks directly across the street to the final corner and sees a short woman with curly brown hair planting a small white sign into the ground in front of the tall bushes, right by the curb.
He briskly walks across the store to the front windows to catch a better look at the sign. Nothing has been happening on that corner since he arrived in Schitt’s Creek, and he had always been curious about the grey two-storey building, as he had never seen anyone ever enter or exit before. He had honestly just assumed it would be torn down at some point and eventually something else might go in its place.
When he reads the words on the sign, he is stunned and pulls out his phone to text David immediately.
***
David stops in at the Cafe before joining Patrick at the store for the day. He saunters up to the counter, hoping to gauge whether or not Twyla has heard or seen the news about her new competitor opening up right across the street. Her back is turned as she faces the kitchen window, filling a napkin dispenser behind the counter.
“Hey Twyla, can I grab our regular order? Two muffins as well, please?”
Twyla puts the dispenser down and looks up at David with her usual pleasant smile. “Sure thing, coming right up!”
David ponders whether or not he wants to be the bearer of bad news or let someone else (maybe Patrick?) break it to her, when his train of thought is broken by Twyla putting his caramel macchiato and Patrick’s Earl Grey tea along with the bag of baked goods on the counter. “Here you go! I hope I’ll still see you for muffins when the new bakery opens up!”
He reaches for the cups and brown paper bag while looking at her, perplexed. “Wait...so you know about the new bakery cafe? And you’re okay with it?”
“For sure, it’ll be fine! There’s always room for more baked goods here, I’m sure you’d agree?”
David really isn’t sure he’d agree, but he nods anyway. “Of course, Twyla, I’m sure it’ll all work out.” He tries his best to smile kindly, hoping it doesn’t come across as fake. “Well, I’d better head over to the store, Patrick could probably use a break.”
***
Patrick looks up from his laptop as the bell rings above the door and sees David entering the store with his hands full, clearly having just come from the Cafe.
“Hey! Here’s your morning snack!” David says as he puts everything on the counter and slides the tea closer to Patrick.
“David, it’s 11:30, can we still call that a morning snack?”
“Yes, the time still says AM, therefore it’s still officially morning.”
“Isn’t it more like lunch time though?”
David squints a little and twists his mouth to the side in fake disgust as Patrick smirks back at him. He looks out the front window, past the planters that are lining the white A-frame stand. “So...I talked to Twyla.”
“Really? Did you tell her about the new bakery? How did she take the news?”
“She seemed...well...oddly okay with the whole thing? And she already knew about it.”
“I guess someone else told her. But I would have thought she’d be upset to have direct competition going in at the same corner. I don’t know if Schitt’s Creek has enough people to support two cafes? Although, you do live here...and we know you could probably consume enough pastries to keep ten bakeries in business.” Patrick flashes him a teasing smile.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don’t see what’s wrong with appreciating a delicious baked good every now and then,” David says in a serious tone. He waves his hands in the air, golden rings glinting in the sunshine.
Patrick covers his mouth to stifle a laugh and turns to face his laptop to get back to work. “Okay, David.”
***
David and Stevie walk across the main square from the Cafe towards the Apothecary, each carrying a drink in their hand. They stop before entering the store, standing in front of the fresh produce baskets.
“Did you hear about the new bakery cafe going in over there?” David asks her, throwing his arm in the general direction of the fourth corner with a flourish.
“Yes, of course David, I do live here too. Plus, you know how Roland gets, he has to brag immediately to anyone in a five yard radius about anything coming into town, as if he’s somehow accomplished some major feat outside of signing a few documents for town council.”
“Right, well, I talked to Twyla and she seems perfectly fine with the idea of direct competition. What is her deal? Wouldn’t you be pissed if another motel opened up down the street?”
Stevie rolls her eyes. “Obviously. I know it’s hard for people like us to understand, but I guess she thinks there’s enough business and they can both make money?” She shrugs, and David makes out a hint of disdain in her voice as she continues. “You know how Twyla is...she’s always so...happy...about everything.”
***
Two weeks later, David is restocking the body milk bottles at the centre table when Patrick walks into the store. He greets him with a kiss on the cheek as he gently passes David his macchiato. "The usual," he says.
“Where’s my muffin?” David asks incredulously.
“I thought we’d try somewhere new…” Patrick says as he grabs David’s forearm and pulls him towards the door.
“But Patrick, we’re still open...and I know how you get about maintaining consistent store hours.”
“I know, David, but the store is empty and it’ll only be a few minutes. Just put up the ‘Back in 5’ sign and lock up.” David complies with Patrick’s request and meets him just outside the door, coffee in hand. Patrick walks purposefully across the street towards the grey building, as he knows David needs to eat and he cannot wait to see how excited he’ll be when he sees all the treats available to choose from.
“Okay, seriously, where are we going?” David almost-shouts as he falls farther behind his husband.
“You’ll see, just follow me!” He turns back to ensure David is still there and grins sheepishly at him.
As they approach, Patrick notices that the old nondescript building has been given a complete makeover as Gianna’s Bakery Cafe. The previously dingy and dirty siding has been power washed and now gleams in a sparkly grey colour. Awnings have been installed above the door and windows in a gorgeous maroon with crisp white lettering. The overgrown hedges have been trimmed and the grounds have been immaculately landscaped with white flowers in rustic wooden planters.
“Wow, they actually did a decent job fixing up this place,” David mutters under his breath to Patrick as they enter.
David’s eyes bulge out of his head at the sight of the long glass bakery display case, stretching almost the whole way across the length of the store, running all the way from the entrance door to the staircase leading up to the main dining area. It is full to the brim with a myriad of baked goods and pastries.
“What do you want, David?” Patrick asks as he swivels around to face him. As soon as he catches a glimpse of David's seemingly frozen face with eyes wide open, Patrick laughs. “Okay, you’re clearly going to need a minute, let’s step back and decide.”
The huge glass display has two main sections, each with four rows of delectable treats - turnovers and strudels, both mini and full sized pies, cookies and donuts and brownies and, of course, butter tarts.
Patrick puts his right arm around David as he looks, but after just a few seconds, David sneaks out from under his embrace to get a little closer to the goodies. “Just need a better look…” he says as Patrick stands back, watching David weigh his options as carefully as a kid in a candy store with only a toonie to spend. After a few minutes of examination and some audible ‘hmms’ and ‘ahhs’, David returns to where Patrick is standing at the back of the store by the shelving units containing mugs and other non-perishable goods. David beams at his husband and says “Okay, I’m ready to order!”
“Thank goodness, I was worried we’d have to change our ‘Back in 5’ sign to ‘Back in 5 hours’ soon,” Patrick whispers jokingly, though still impressed at how seriously David takes every decision he has to make.
They get in line at the end of the display until the same woman Patrick saw staking in the sign a few weeks back smiles kindly at them. “Hi! What can I get for you today?”
Patrick takes the lead and offers his hand out to the woman for a handshake, smiling back at her. “Hi! I’m Patrick and this is my husband David, we actually own the store across the street, Rose Apothecary.” He continues before she can respond, knowing that David will need his pastry sooner rather than later and probably wasn’t interested in a full conversation with the new retail neighbour. “I’ll have a strawberry rhubarb mini pie, please, and he’ll have…” He trails off as he looks over at David so he can order his own.
“Okay, I’ll take a plain butter tart, a skor butter tart, a millionaire cookie, and oh my god, what is THAT?” His eyes go wide again and light up as he points to a spot in the far right case on the bottom row, underneath the six types of butter tarts on offer. Patrick is shocked that after all the time he spent perusing the options, knowing David’s attention to detail, that he could have possibly missed anything on offer.
“That is a fudge brownie butter tart. Brownie molded into a tart shape instead of the regular pastry, butter tart filling, with a fudge drizzle,” the owner replies politely.
“Okay, I NEED that. Two of those, please.”
“Will that be all?”
“Yup. That’s it for now. Thanks!” The woman carefully packs all of the pastries into white boxes sealed with a maroon sticker matching the outside awnings. She packs the boxes into a bag before placing it next to the cash. Patrick walks over and pays for the order while David grabs the bag.
They head out of the bakery and start walking back across the street towards their own store. David’s hands are full so Patrick unlocks the door and promptly removes the ‘Back in 5’ sign and flips the regular sign to ‘Open’.
“I should have known you would need more time to make your precise selections,” Patrick admits as he walks behind the cash. David places the white boxes on top of the counter between them alongside their respective drinks from the Cafe.
David opens the first box, peers inside and quickly closes the lid. He opens the second box and grabs one of his brownie butter tarts. He leaves it open so Patrick can take his mini pie out as well. Patrick hands him a napkin and puts one underneath the pie before setting it down. He closes the box and stacks them before setting them underneath the counter, out of sight of any future customers (or Stevie, since he knows David won’t want to share).
Though Patrick is focused on loading up his laptop, he knows as soon as David takes the first bite because he lets out an audible, almost explicit moan that makes Patrick weak in the knees. He is helpless at the sound and immediately looks up to watch David having a serious gastronomical experience with the brownie butter tart.
David tries to speak while chewing and mumbles out something that almost sounds like words. “Ohr...mrg...ard....”
“That good, huh?” Patrick smirks at him, while David just nods in response and closes his eyes to savour the taste.
Feeling inspired by David’s response, Patrick takes a bite of his strawberry rhubarb mini pie. He chews and stoically nods while he finishes the bite. “You know, this is probably the best pie pastry I’ve ever had. It’s so flaky and buttery. The rhubarb is faint but just the right amount of bitterness to offset the sweet strawberries, they must use fresh ones when they’re in season.”
David whips his head around to face Patrick. “Okay, who are you and what have you done with my husband? All of a sudden, Patrick has a sophisticated palate?” he says in a high-pitched teasing tone.
Patrick presses his lips together and glares at David in response. “Very funny, David.”
“But in all seriousness, if the new bakery is actually good, what about Twyla?” Patrick continues.
“Good question. Maybe I’ll FaceTime with Alexis tonight and see if she has any ideas. Obviously we don’t want her to go out of business. Sadly, the muffins just aren’t going to cut it if it’s a competition with THAT,” he says as he waves his hand over the remaining crumbs on his napkin.
David leans over the counter to give Patrick a kiss on the cheek and Patrick grabs his wrist before he can leave. “You have a little something there,” he quietly mentions as he brushes a couple tiny pieces of brownie tart out of David’s stubble. Patrick notices David tucks a little smile into his cheek as he heads towards the backroom to begin his daily restocking tasks.
***
David is relaxing on the grey microsuede couch back at the cottage that evening and FaceTimes Alexis on his phone. He has to attempt the call three times before she finally answers.
“Hey David, what’s up,” she says, slightly out of breath.
“What’s going with you? Did you just come back from a run at 8 o’clock at night or are you entertaining a suitor over there?”
“Ew, David, have you been talking to Mom a lot lately? I was actually down in the workout room of my condo earlier but I just ran across the room to answer your call as I was in the kitchen baking cookies.”
“Oh my god, it’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore! Speaking of cookies, I called because I need some advice.”
“Wow David, can’t you just ask Patrick to get both regular Oreos and Golden Oreos next time so you don’t have to waste my time debating which ones are better again?”
“Fall off a bridge, please. That’s not why I’m calling, this is actually important.”
“Okay, out with it already then. I actually want to eat one of these while they’re still warm.”
“I’m not sure if you’ve talked to Twyla lately, or if she mentioned this, but a new bakery cafe opened up across the street.”
Alexis doesn’t wait for any more details before spiraling off. “Wait, Bob turned his garage into a bakery!? Was Ivan involved in this? Did they steal Dad’s bagel idea? What the fuck!?”
“NO, on the other corner. Right across from the store. The one that was deserted all that time when you were still here.”
“Oh, that makes more sense. Go on.”
David rolls his eyes before continuing. “ANYWAY - I talked to Twyla and she seemed completely fine with the idea of direct competition right across the street and that there would be enough business to go around. Then I thought maybe the new place would totally suck and it would be gone in a couple weeks...but Patrick took me there today and...well, it didn’t.”
“Ugh, that sounds horrible for poor Twy. I didn’t know but I’ll totally text her tomorrow. Let me think about what I can do in terms of marketing help. Maybe I can get Mom to post an old photo at the Cafe on her Instagram or something this week. I’ll also check out the overall social media presence that Twy has going on and see what she can improve.”
“Thanks Alexis, I bet she’d really appreciate that. You’re a good friend. And I can’t believe those words just came out of my mouth.”
Alexis giggles. “Thanks David. So are you. I’ve gotta run but say hi to that little button of a husband for me!”
“Will do. Bye Alexis.”
***
David and Patrick enter Twyla’s Cafe Tropical the next weekend for brunch and sit across from one another at their usual middle booth. The oversized menus sit on the table and David crosses his arms over his while Patrick picks his up and opens it wide to peruse through the options.
Twyla comes over to take their order. “Good morning! What can I get for you?” she asks with the usual grin plastered on her face, as she glances at each of them.
“I’ll have a stack of chocolate chip pancakes please with a side of extra bacon. And coffee. Definitely need coffee.”
Patrick doesn’t respond right away, trying to decide between a western omelette or something a bit more hearty. David never misses the opportunity to tease him. “Come on, it’s not like you’ve haven’t read every option on this monstrosity of a menu fifty times!”
Patrick glances up at Twyla to see if she’s registered the insult, but the smile on her face doesn’t budge an inch, as she patiently awaits his order.
He smiles back at her. “I’ll have the Breakfast Platter please, eggs scrambled, with sausage and rye toast. And a cup of tea. Thanks so much!”
Patrick closes his menu, needing to hold his arms open the length of his entire wingspan to shut both flaps at the same time. He passes it to Twyla after she collects David’s closed one. “Great, it’ll all be out in a flash!”
David follows her with his gaze until she disappears behind the counter. He looks back at Patrick and reclines in the booth. “She’s certainly as chipper as ever. Doesn’t seem bothered at all.”
“Even so, it probably didn’t help to call her menu a monstrosity, David. We want her to feel supported, not attacked.”
“Okay, okay. Alexis did agree to help her out with her marketing and social media plans, so that should definitely help.”
“Really, that’s great!”
They move on from the topic, discussing the most recent pickup from their new vendor Dawn and the broken items they received, trying to determine the best course of action to handle the situation.
Twyla soon returns to the table, carefully balancing their order along her arms and sets each of their plates in front of them and quickly returns with their beverages.
“Anything else I can get you or are you all set?”
David pipes up, looking at Twyla curiously. “Twyla, any chance you’ve heard from Alexis at all in the past couple days?”
“Yeah!” she squeals. “She called me last night and asked if I needed help to do more marketing or something for the Cafe? I told her I was good, but appreciated the thought.”
“Really? Don’t you think that might be helpful considering the new place across the street? I tried their stuff, it’s…” Luckily, David notices the glare Patrick is sending him, and he stops himself before saying any more. “It’s...uh...alright.”
“Oh, I’ve tried their butter tarts. They’re AMAZING!” she replies, beaming at them.
David’s face lights up. “I KNOW, have you tried the fudge brownie one, it’s UNBELIEVABLE…” he gushes. Patrick directs the same loud stare at him, paired with a scowl, an expression that has been perfected over the few years of their relationship to tell him to shut up without saying a word.
Twyla doesn’t seem to notice and continues raving. “Ooh no, I’ve only had the maple walnut one, it was SO good though. I’ll have to try the brownie one next time.”
Patrick can’t help but interject at this point. “Seriously though, you’re not worried about being run out of business Twyla? You know we’ll do anything we can to help.”
She shoots Patrick a warm smile. “That’s so kind of you, Patrick. But no, I’m not worried. Gianna is my uncle’s cousin’s stepmom and she’s so lovely. See, my uncle’s cousin’s Mom ran off to join a nudist colony a few years back and then her Dad married Gianna who used to be married to his brother who left to speed walk across Europe a few months before. So it was totally meant to be! When my uncle told me his cousin’s stepmom was looking for somewhere to sell her delicious baked goods, I suggested the empty place at the corner and I think it turned out great! We chatted a few weeks ago while she was setting up the place and we agreed that she would steer clear of muffins and cinnamon buns since they’re Ivan’s best sellers here. He was thinking of expanding into butter tarts soon, but they’re totally her specialty.”
David and Patrick look at one another, both smirking before David responds to Twyla’s explanation (which somehow she was able to get out in one breath?). “Sounds like you have everything worked out, Twyla. Maybe he can broaden his horizons with bagels next?” he says with a shrug.