Chapter Text
This has got to be illegal or something. There's no way this isn’t breaking some kind of rule.
Karl chews the plastic straw that stuck out of his coffee cup, anxiously tapping his foot on the sticky tiled floor under his booth. He waits for the barista to signal him over for his pastries with the hair on his arms sticking straight up every time he sees her look over in his direction.
No, no, this is fine. I’m just eating in the cafe, nothing suspicious about it. If anything was gonna happen, it would’ve already happened.
As soon as he hears his name leave the barista’s lips, Karl shoots up and retrieves his paper bag with a rushed ‘thanks’. At this point, he’s sure he’s too jittery to even eat anything.
Karl stares into the bag at the pile of goodies fresh from the toaster that steamed into his nose, waiting— watching. As if somewhere between the buttery layers of croissant and chocolate he’d get the signal to let his muscles relax.
Alas, there’s really only a certain amount you can expect from a croissant, and Karl was asking way too much for such a small pastry.
Boy, was this going to be a long day.
The next day wasn’t any easier.
At least Karl knew now that he wasn’t going to get in trouble for sitting here all day. It was a public space, after all. A college full of hundreds of people in and out of this exact library— this exact cafe— and nothing had happened yet...
And, knew now to order less, of course. Nothing compared to the guilt of having to throw away half a bag of delicious sweets because you just can’t shove any more down.
He ordered quickly before taking his seat in the booth closest to the exit. Maybe once the routine caught up to him, it’d be slightly less nerve wracking.
Still, his mind raced.
So what if someone says something? Karl tried to reassure himself, You still have your student ID… You could just leave, too! Yeah, you’ll just say something like ‘oh, I’m sorry, I’ll get going’ and move on!
But you still might have to explain yourself.
How?
How embarrassing will that be.
Karl’s thoughts spill from his head and he rubs his eyes hard, a heavy sigh calming him down slightly.
Once returning to his seat with a significantly smaller paper bag than yesterday, he bites into his croissant with more gusto than before.
He really needs to figure this shit out fast.
This problem arose about a few days ago. Just before the weekend. Karl had visited his advisor for the last time.
“... Now that we’ve gone over finances and credits, you don't live on campus, do you, Jacobs?”
“No…”
Karl could feel his nails digging into his palms increasingly deeper with each passing minute.
“Good, good.” His advisor said softly, making notes on some kind of form, “As soon as you leave here, you’ll be withdrawn from the university. However, if you plan on coming back at any time, we would be happy to have you.”
“Yes sir.” Karl says, clearing his throat as he stood to shake the man’s hand, “Thank you.”
“Any time, Jacobs.”
What the hell was he going to do?
He can’t tell anyone he’s a… a dropout.
God, it’s such a strange thing to think. The Karl Jacobs— Karl straight-A-student-since-elementary-school Jacobs is a college dropout.
He knew it was for good reason. He knew it wasn’t anything academic or behavioral. It was, well… Incredibly, overwhelmingly stressful.
Maybe it was the fact that he knew nobody in his classes, or maybe it was the increasing workload and lack of student/teacher communication. Maybe something else, who knows. Maybe all of those reasons and more.
It was necessary. The mere thought of attending class sent Karl into a spiraling panic attack that ended up keeping him home from class anyway. Sometimes the things that are best for us seem like the worst.
Still, Karl felt bad. His scholarships, all his hard work gone down the drain in an instant. Even his parent’s funding of everything that wasn’t covered by the school would be gone as soon as they found out.
What would they think of me now?
So he decided to keep it to himself. This would be a secret he takes to his grave.
Nobody should be able to judge my decisions.
And so Karl's been sitting in the main library’s café every day from morning to evening. He’s got no idea how long he’ll keep this up for, but he knows he has to try to go as long as he can.
Once people start to find out, who knows what they’ll think.
Especially his roommate— a boy who’s been just as passionate about school as he once was, someone who’s stoked about their apartment being right next to campus-
“What the- Alex!” Karl whines as his roommate snatches the little bag from his hands, dropping his backpack on right in front of the door to pursue Alex.
Speak of the devil.
“No no, Karl! I knew you’ve been getting sweets without me! You thought you could hide it from me but I know, dude!” Alex dodged Karl’s grabby hands, laughing, “You always come home smelling like coffee!”
“Alex, you nimrod!” Karl landed a fake punch on his friend’s shoulder with a chuckle, “If you had given me a moment I was going to say that was for you.”
Karl watches Alex’s eyes gleam.
“Really?”
“Yes, really. Now shoo, you made me bring all these damn leaves inside.”
The two of them glanced at the floor and sighed, opting to quickly sweep the crushed up fall leaves right back out the door.
Once he settled in a bit, Karl retreated to his side of the room where he set up his laptop, and so his act began. He’s got to pretend to be working for at least a couple hours to convince Alex he’s studying.
After an excruciatingly long session of ‘scroll through Facebook and see how much more successful your friends are than you’, Karl wanted to just sleep.
Yeah, sleeping sounded like a good plan. getting in bed early would give him a good rest for his stressful day tomorrow.