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“Kid? What are you doing?”
“What?” Peter said absently.
“Peter!”
The sudden urgency in Tony’s voice makes Peter jump and snap to, and he belatedly realizes that his hands are wandering dangerously close to a laser. He jerks his hands back just in time as Tony shuts the power off. The room goes dark for a few seconds before FRIDAY turns the overhead lights on, letting Peter see Tony’s concerned expression in embarrassingly perfect definition.
“Okay, so clearly you’re not in the right headspace for this today,” says Tony, and Peter winces.
“I’m sorry. I’ll pay attention, I promise,” he says, straightening up in his seat. What they’re doing would, at any other time, be utterly fascinating. But right now, Peter’s just a tiny bit more preoccupied with something else. Still, that doesn’t excuse the fact that he’s being rude given how busy Tony is. He knows that Tony probably had a billion other things to do today, but he still made time for Peter and Peter should be paying attention.
“No, it’s fine. This can be done at anytime. What’s on your mind?” Tony says, leaning against the table and looking at Peter expectantly.
“Nothing,” Peter lies.
“Wow, I really need to teach you how to lie better,” Tony mutters, shaking his head. “That is just sad.”
Peter frowns. “I can lie!”
“I’m not even going to try to pretend that you can. Now seriously, what’s going on? I’m not going to let up until you talk,” says Tony, crossing his arms over his chest. He really does look ready to wait as long as it takes, and that sort of undivided attention from his favorite mentor never fails to make Peter crack.
“There’s this girl,” he says slowly.
“Oooh, a girl, huh?” Tony’s smile turns a little wicked. “A pretty girl, I take it?”
“Yeah?” Peter says, somewhat uncertainly. He’s still not very good at figuring out when people are attractive, but he’s seen the way some of the boys at school look at MJ when she’s not looking and their looks tell him that the answer is yes.
Tony’s smile softens. “You like her, huh?”
“I don’t know. I think I do. I like spending time with her,” Peter says. This is part of what he’s been trying to figure out. He doesn’t feel anything physical towards MJ but being around her makes him smile. He likes her cutting attitude and the way she always knows what to say to leave people on edge. He likes how smart she is, and how good she is at drawing, and he likes listening to her talk.
But he doesn’t really know what that means.
Tony hums and nods. “When you say you like spending time with her, do you mean spending time with her feels different from spending time with Ned?”
“Definitely,” Peter says instantly. “Ned is just my friend. MJ is… I don’t know. She makes me feel different.”
“It kind of sounds like you have a crush on her,” Tony says gently.
“That’s the thing, I don’t know. Because like, I don’t feel that way towards her,” Peter says, looking at Tony meaningfully. And he can tell that Tony gets it, which is amazing in ways that Peter can’t properly express. He knows that if he were having this conversation with Aunt May, she would be struggling to understand – but Tony’s in a very similar boat, so no explanation is necessary.
“Right, so you don’t want to have sex with her or anything like that,” Tony says, and Peter screws his face up.
“Eww, no. Not really. I mean… I wouldn’t mind kissing her or holding her hand or hugging her, but that’s it,” he says, and then stops. Because honestly, he didn’t even know he’d like that much until the words were already out there. He blinks for a moment, startled, and Tony puts a hand on his shoulder.
“You know that’s okay, right? You remember our conversation?” he asks.
Peter nods. “Yeah, I remember. I don’t have to have sex with anyone I don’t want to,” he quotes.
“Exactly, and you have my full permission to punch anyone who doesn’t want to take no for an answer in the face,” says Tony, a hard glint in his eyes.
“Thanks, but I don’t think MJ would do that. In fact, I know she wouldn’t,” Peter says confidently.
“Good, I’m glad to hear that. And you know you don’t have to date anyone if you don’t want to, right?” Tony adds.
“I know,” Peter says, smiling slightly. Tony’s already told him that a few times, but Peter doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of hearing it.
“Good,” Tony says again. “But you also know that you’re allowed to date people if you want to, right? Being asexual, or whatever you might be, doesn’t prevent you from dating. Just because I don’t date doesn’t mean that you can’t.”
That one is a little harder. Peter drops his gaze, feeling conflicted. He knows that Tony isn’t interested in dating anyone: Tony made that 100% clear after Peter tried to set up Tony and Aunt May. But Peter doesn’t mind the thought of dating. In fact, he likes the idea of it. He’s just not sure about whether he should be dating anyone when he’s not interested in sex.
“Pete?” Tony prompts when the silence has dragged on too long.
“Everyone wants sex,” Peter mumbles.
“What?”
“Everyone wants sex,” Peter repeats, a little louder this time but refusing to look Tony in the eyes. “It’s what people do, right? So who would want to be with me if I can’t give them that?”
There’s a long pause, and Peter hunches in on himself because he feels like he knows what Tony’s going to say and he’s not sure that he wants to hear it. But he’s also not sure that he has a choice, given that he’s the one who brought this up. It’s too late to take it back even though he wishes he could.
Finally, Tony lets out a sigh. “Oh, kiddo.” His voice is soft when he drops down, crouching so that he’s lower than Peter and can see Peter’s face. It’s embarrassing. Peter can feel his face burning. He wants to look away, but he also finds that he can’t. Tony’s expression is so understanding.
“It’s the truth, right?” he says, a little louder than he needs to be given that Tony is literally less than two feet away. “That’s what everyone wants. I’d rather be alone than have someone cheat on me because I don’t want to have sex with them.”
“Whoa, hey. You’re jumping to conclusions there, bud,” Tony says, putting a calming hand on Peter’s bouncing knee. “It’s true that sex can be a vital part to some relationships, and there are some people who would not be willing to forego sex. You would definitely be incompatible with those people. However, there are also plenty of people out there who don’t necessarily feel that way.”
“I find that hard to believe,” Peter says bitterly. “Sex is all anyone ever talks about.” And it’s absolutely maddening to be inundated with something he’s not interested in all the damn time. Sometimes he just wants to get down on his knees and beg the kids in his class to talk about anything else – except he knows they’d just end up making a bunch of sexual comments about the fact that he’s on his knees.
“I’m afraid that’s part of being a teenager,” Tony says, sighing again. “Hormones going crazy and all.” He waves a hand in the ar.
“Well, it’s annoying,” Peter mutters.
“Yeah, I get that. Look, Peter. I’m not going to lie to you and say a relationship would be easy, but you should know that relationships are all about compromise,” Tony tells him. “And that means compromise on both sides. Relationships are work. A lot of work. That doesn’t change regardless of whether you and your partner both want sex, or whether one of you does and the other doesn’t.”
“So what you’re saying is, I should be willing to compromise by having sex,” Peter says, even though he knows that’s not what Tony means. Still, it does seem like the logical answer, doesn’t it?
“No, Peter, that’s not what I meant,” Tony says sternly, giving him a gentle poke to the knee. “You should never feel pressured into something you don’t want. Anyone who demands sex from you is not a good person for you to be around, and any relationships that demand sex is not a relationship that you should be in.”
“Then what do I do?” Peter exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air helplessly. “You know what my luck is like. How likely it is it that I’m going to find someone who isn’t really interested in sex?”
“About as likely as you finding a super cool mentor who is aro-ace?” Tony offers.
They look at each other for a moment, Tony smiling and Peter blinking.
Then Peter sighs. “Yeah, okay. But still.”
“I know this isn’t easy. It’s really hard, and I’m sorry that you have to go through this. Dating is complicated enough without throwing in extra difficulty,” Tony tells him. “It’s messy and frustrating and annoying… and I wouldn’t blame you if you decided that you didn’t even want to think about it until university or later. But…”
“But…” Peter repeats suspiciously.
“You seem to really like this MJ,” Tony says, very gently.
“Yeah. I do,” Peter mumbles.
“So I guess that means you have to ask yourself if you like her enough to have an awkward, uncomfortable, probably embarrassing conversation with her,” says Tony.
Peter chokes. “I can’t tell her this on the first date!”
Tony laughs and finally gets up, wincing and rubbing at his back. “Not on the first date, no. Hell, I’d like to think you wouldn’t even have to talk about it until you’re both twenty-one. But I’m not naïve enough to think that’s actually the case, so it is a conversation you’ll probably need to have sooner or later.”
“Ugh, that sounds terrible,” Peter mutters, cringing at the thought.
“Honestly, I’d tell you that regardless of what your feelings are on sex. In general, but especially when you’re younger, you should never have sex without talking to someone first,” Tony tells him. “I learned the hard way that it’s really easy for people to cross your boundaries, or for you to accidentally cross over theirs, if you don’t.”
“Right,” Peter says doubtfully. The thought of actually talking to MJ about sex makes his stomach twist into loops. He pictures her face, that little smirk that she would definitely get, and puts his hands to his face with a groan.
“You’ll survive,” Tony says with an annoying amount of cheerfulness, clapping Peter on the shoulder. “I’m afraid that if you want to date people, talking about sex comes with the territory no matter what your orientation is.”
“I have the feeling I should just become a hermit like you,” Peter says into his hands.
“Being a hermit is overrated,” says Tony.
Peter drops his hands and frowns at him. “Do you really expect me to believe that you seriously think that?”
Tony shrugs. “Yeah, okay, being a hermit is awesome. But! Pepper would be super mad at me if I let you grow up to become a hermit. So would your aunt, for that matter. So no hermit life for you, little Spiderling.” He wags his index finger about two inches from Peter’s nose.
“Fine,” Peter says, sighing exaggeratedly. “No hermit life for me.”
“Nope. It’s a pretty girlfriend for you,” Tony tells him.
“G-girlfriend?” Peter repeats, turning red. “I haven’t even asked her out yet!”
“Good, then we have lots of time to plan your first date,” says Tony. “How do you feel about a candlelit dinner at the top of Stark Tower?”
Peter stares at him. “For a first date?!”
“What? Candlelight is romantic,” Tony says. "I know a guy. I could have the whole meal catered! Expensive pasta, some dessert, maybe a little cider cause your aunt would kill me if I let you drink..." He looks expectantly at Peter, who shakes his head.
“Yeah, thanks for your help, but I think I’m going to follow up with Aunt May about first date ideas,” Peter says dryly. He honestly doesn’t really know if MJ is the romantic type. His instinct is to say that she’s not, but she’s surprised him before and he’s sure she’ll do it again. Either way, he thinks that Aunt May will have some good ideas that don’t involve the top of Stark Tower.
“I get no respect,” Tony says, dramatically throwing his hands in the air.
“Oh, I respect you,” Peter says with a straight face. “That’s why I can tell you that’s a stupid idea.”
“You little shit.” Tony makes a swipe at him; Peter ducks away, laughing, and jumps up to grab Tony in a hug. Tony freezes for a split second before sighing and hugging Peter back.
“Thanks,” Peter says softly, resting his cheek against Tony’s shoulder. Aunt May can give him good date ideas, but he knows that she won’t get asexuality the way that Tony does. He and Tony may differ in that Tony very much enjoys sex and Peter isn’t that interested in it, but it still feels really good to be seen and understood.
“Anytime, kiddo,” Tony says, his voice softening. “You can come to me about anything. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I do,” Peter says. After all, that’s why he’s here today.