Chapter Text
It wasn’t bullying.
None of the other padawans hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, or called him names. They were Jedi, after all, and knew better than to blatantly harm another living being. Instead, most everyone simply disregarded his very presence. Nobody met his gaze in the hallways or classrooms anymore. They only spoke to him when it was absolutely necessary.
The reason for this was well justified: Obi-Wan had left the Jedi not too long ago, causing doubt and anxiety among all of the padawans and even most of the initiates in the temple. It was only natural for his peers to feel betrayed. That left Obi-Wan by himself, at least where the other padawans were concerned. He was an outsider now, albeit he chose that fate for himself, when deciding to leave the Jedi Order.
Still, Siri thought back to earlier today, during their Intermediate saber fighting class. When the padawans had been instructed to pair off, Kenobi was left without a partner due to their uneven numbers. Then, Master Irri had noticed, and he told Obi-Wan to join one of the duos to make it a trio instead, and they could switch on and off with one another.
Not one student welcomed him into their group.
Even though his shields were strong, it had been hard to ignore the slight hunch in Obi-Wan’s shoulder’s, or the redness that flushed from his collarbones all the way to his cheeks. It made Siri feel guilty, which wasn’t right, because it was Obi-Wan who should be feeling guilty, not Siri or any of the other dedicated padawans residing in the temple.
After the class had ended, Siri couldn’t seem to stop thinking about it. She even had to remind herself that Obi-Wan wasn’t completely friendless. Bant Eerin was still fiercely loyal to him, though because she was an initiate, Bant had a different schedule than Obi-Wan and barely had time to speak with him anymore. This was the same case with his other close friend, Garen Muln, whose days were strictly occupied with his extra tutorial in piloting. There was that food-obsessed Dressellian, Reeft, who would have shared Obi-Wan’s schedule, if not for the extended mission he was currently on with his new master.
So there, Siri thought to herself, Obi-Wan wasn’t completely alone, he was just nearly alone. For some reason, this line of thinking only made her feel worse. She felt so badly about it, in fact, that it even hindered her ability to complete her coursework one evening.
“You seem distracted, Padawan.”
Siri blinked, and realized that she had been staring at the same paragraph of her galactic history text for a very long time. She felt her face grow slightly warm. “I’m sorry, my Master. I was lost in thought.”
“There is no need to be sorry for thinking,” Adi told her. “But you do look rather troubled. Is there something you would like to speak to me about?”
Siri bit her lip. She had only been Master Gallia’s padawan for a couple of weeks, and was still getting to know her. However, it was important for a padawan to be honest with her mentor. Siri wanted a strong bond with her master, so that in return she could be a strong Jedi Knight someday.
“It’s Obi-Wan Kenobi,” Siri blurted out, before she could change her mind. “You don’t think- well, he’s caused a lot of trouble for the Jedi Order, hasn’t he?”
Adi blinked, clearly taken off guard from the conversation’s new direction.
“I wouldn’t say so,” she said, carefully considering her words. “On the contrary, I would say that Padawan Kenobi has done a great deal of good for the Order. Having a padawan has improved Master Jinn’s attitude immensely.”
Siri was taken aback. “But Kenobi dumped the Jedi.”
Adi frowned. “He chose to stay on Melida/Daan because the planet was torn by war, and he wanted to help the children and their goal of peace. He acted rashly, yes, but only with the best intentions.”
“But- but he betrayed Master Jinn,” Siri pointed out. She felt uncharacteristically desperate to point out all of Obi-Wan’s flaws, but felt shamed deep down; she was acting uncharacteristically for a Jedi. “He’s on probation, Master. At thirteen years old!”
“I am not at liberty to discuss the situation in detail, Padawan, but Obi-Wan does not hold the full blame. He should have never been left behind in the first place. The Council understands this, as does Master Jinn now, too, which is why Obi-Wan has been put on probation. It gives them both a chance to strengthen their bond.”
“Oh,” was, unfortunately, the only response Siri was able to come up with.
Adi studied her closely, and then said, “I am, however, curious as to why you are so focused on Obi-Wan Kenobi’s probation. I didn’t think the two of you were very well acquainted.”
“We aren’t,” Siri said quickly. This was true; she didn’t know him very well at all. They were two years apart in age, and they hadn’t been raised in the same clan as younglings. Their longest conversation had taken place only a few weeks ago, just before Siri became a padawan, when the temple was under siege by Master Jinn’s former padawan and Bruck Chun. Obi-Wan had asked for her help, and in return she’d chastised him:
“You’re the one who left the Jedi. When you did that, you cast doubt on the commitment of all Padawans, present and future. You made all Jedi Knight question whether we’re as committed as we should be. You’re almost as bad as Bruck!”
“The other padawans don’t trust Obi-Wan,” Siri admitted to her master. I don’t trust him either. “They don’t talk to him, or acknowledge his presence anymore.”
“I find this news disheartening,” Adi said slowly, in a way that made Siri’s stomach clench. “I would have hoped that the padawans would offer their support. I do believe that young Obi-Wan has been through enough already.”
“If he spoke about what happened, maybe it would be different.”
“How can he speak about it, if he is ignored?”
Siri’s master made a good point. Her initial guilt over the situation only grew tenfold.
“I would like you to take an additional hour tonight to meditate on what we have discussed,” Adi instructed her. “I think an important lesson was learned.”
Siri’s nose wrinkled before she could stop herself; she hated learning lessons! Nonetheless, she nodded. “Yes, Master. I will begin my evening meditation as soon as I finish this assignment; I’m on the last problem now.”
“Good,” Adi said, smiling in the gentle way that she often did. Siri felt lucky to have such a wonderful master. She was an exemplary Jedi: strong, wise, kind, and on the Council. They were still very new to being Master and Padawan, but the more that Siri came to know Adi, the more she wanted to make her proud.
The following afternoon, Siri and her closest friend Teena decided to group up with several other of their peers to practice for an upcoming tournament. On her way to the dojo, Siri’s stomach dropped when she saw Obi-Wan and his master emerging down the hallway from the opposite direction. She couldn’t help but notice that they walked side-by-side as equals, rather than as master and pupil.
She thought back to last night’s discussion with her own master and sighed, taking a deep breath through her nose.
“Obi-Wan!” She called out.
Both Obi-Wan and Master Jinn stopped in their tracks, and she went over to the duo. Master Jinn towered over both padawans. Siri resisted the urge to shrink back, but Obi-Wan seemed completely at ease. In fact, Siri even noticed that the Jedi Master’s hand had come to rest upon his pupil’s shoulder when they stopped.
“Siri,” Obi-Wan greeted her. He sounded confident, though she felt just a touch of apprehension in the force.
“Some of us are going to the dojo,” she said, once she had mustered up the courage. “Do you want to come?”
There was only a brief pause, although it seemed incredibly slow to Siri. An array of emotions flickered across Obi-Wan’s face: surprise, hopefulness, apprehension, happiness, wariness. He finally looked up at Master Jinn.
Jinn gave him permission straight away. “That sounds like fun, Padawan. I will see you this evening.”
With that, he turned and left, though not before squeezing his apprentice’s shoulder lightly in encouragement. ‘He knows,’ Siri realized in guilt. ‘Of course he would be aware of how all of us have been treating his apprentice. We haven’t exactly been subtle.’
“Thanks for inviting me,” Obi-Wan said earnestly when they were alone, his lips curving into a warm smile.
“Well…” Siri shrugged, feeling slightly awkward. “I wanted to.”
She ‘wanted to’ merely for the benefit of pleasing her own master, but Obi-Wan didn’t need to know that.
They didn’t speak to one another on the way to the dojo, but they did walk comfortably side-by-side. When they arrived in the section of the dojo that was reserved for padawans, Siri began to regret her actions when Teena and the rest of the group realized that Obi-Wan was accompanying her.
“Why did you bring him here?” Teena hissed to her quietly, though her voice carried throughout the dojo’s walls. The other three padawans stared at her with accusation, and Siri immediately felt defensive.
“He’s the best in our class,” she told them, and was surprised at the scorn that arose naturally in her tone. It just wasn’t fair, that someone who wasn’t a true Jedi had to be so kriffing good at wielding a lightsaber. “I, for one, want to do well in the upcoming tournament.”
Teena and the others looked at one another and shrugged, murmuring their begrudging agreements. Siri didn’t want to look at Obi-Wan, who had obviously overheard them, but she had no choice. His expression was completely composed, though he seemed to have lost the previous warmth in his eyes that had been there when it was just him and Siri.
But what had he expected, really? They weren’t his friends. They didn’t share the same ideals, especially when it came to honoring the code. Siri had done her part and included him, and that should be more than enough to please her master.
After warming up, they decided to each take turns facing Obi-Wan. It hadn’t exactly been what Siri had imagined; they originally planned on everyone taking turns against one another. This seemed as though it was an excuse for everyone to gang up solely on Obi-Wan, whether it was for ‘practice’ or not.
Siri went first, her training saber clashing fiercely with Obi-Wan’s over and over again. She couldn’t get a proper hit, and it frustrated her. She was able to stay composed, but when she came out as the loser of their mock duel, she felt resentful, and didn’t take Obi-Wan’s hand when he offered it to her.
The padawan who went after Siri, another human three years her senior named Frin, managed to land a brutal strike across Obi-Wan’s left shoulder blade. Even powered onto a low setting, it still must have hurt. Nobody seemed to care that Frin had obviously pressed the blade down too roughly to be considered ethical in a mock duel. Obi-Wan grunted, but he rolled away and soon placed a light, winning tap across his foe’s chest.
Teena was the fifth and last padawan to face Obi-Wan. By then, he was clearly tired, but still fought with an expertise that outdid most other junior padawans. Siri noticed halfway through that his ankle was shaking slightly. It had been wrapped for a few days when he had first come back to the temple, so he was probably aggravating the old injury. Sure enough, he soon stumbled a few moments later, allowing Teena to strike him on the same shoulder that Frin had. Obi-Wan hissed, and his ankle gave out completely, allowing Teena another winning hit.
It wasn’t fair, and Teena would have been disqualified had this been an actual tournament. Still, nobody said anything, not even Siri. She watched cooly as Obi-Wan panted quietly, his face dripping with sweat as he shakily climbed to his feet, clearly exhausted after facing the five other padawans in a row.
“Good match,” Teena told Obi-Wan, but her tone conveyed nothing but satisfaction. They were all being awful to Obi-Wan, but nobody was doing anything about it. Not even Obi-Wan himself, who merely raised an eyebrow at Teena but thanked her all the same.
They went to change up after that, each parting into the changing rooms.
“Want to go to dinner?” Teena asked Siri as they towled down and put their robes back on. They were the last of the group left, taking their time in the girl’s changing room.
“Yes, I’m starving,” she agreed, her stomach growling. The dining hall was serving Aurebesh soup tonight, one of Siri’s personal favorites. It was made with topatos, one of the only vegetables that she actually liked.
When they emerged from the changing room, Siri was surprised to see that Obi-Wan was still there, using a towel to wipe the excess perspiration from his face and neck. The burn on his shoulder had turned an ugly shade of red, but he barely seemed to notice it, even as he began to shrug back into his tunic.
They made eye contact one more time, and icy blue clashed with steel gray. Siri found that, despite the churning in her stomach, she didn’t want Obi-Wan to come with them. She had done as her master requested; she had given Obi-Wan a chance to open up to them, to redeem himself to his fellow padawans.
She and Teena left the dojo without looking back.