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That heist was supposed to go smoothly. It didn’t. In the past year he had been working with Lupin, Jigen had realized a few things : Lupin was half completely stupid, and half genius and Fujiko betrayed them only if it wasn’t too dangerous for the gang AND was more profitable than cooperating. The gunman was now helping a quite severely wounded thief, trying to go back to the Fiat while Goemon was fighting with the local mob. Fujiko was waiting in the car with the loot, she had apparently decided to play fair this time. Jigen took note of it and thought he’d try not to be too mad at her next time she’d backstab them.
They had been forced to go far in order to find a safe hideout. Goemon had assured them he’d lead the mob on the wrong track and then retire in the mountains for a while, waiting for Lupin to heal.
So Fujiko and Jigen were left with the poor thief who couldn’t even be conscious half of the time. They could handle it, of course, they knew how bullet wounds and cuts had to be treated, he wasn’t in mortal danger (at least not anymore) but there was still a problem. As much as Jigen was grateful that Fujiko hadn’t betrayed them this time, he still didn’t like her. Even “tolerate” was a bit too strong. They had been yelling at each other quite a lot, trying to know who would be the one to treat Lupin’s injuries.
“What do you even know about bullet wounds huh ? Are you going to tell me you got a surgeon boyfriend once and it somehow makes you able to do the work properly ?”
Fujiko had been looking terribly offended at this.
“Are you kidding ? I’ll let you know that I live a life as dangerous as yours so it is only natural that I know how to do that ! Now I doubt about your ability to heal him. You’re a brute and as much as I don’t doubt you could stitch those, you’d kill him in the process !”
What could have killed them was the look they exchanged, but the pained whimper coming from Lupin who was laying on the couch next to them broke their conversation. Not a single word was added and they worked together, carefully cleaning and bandaging Lupin’s nasty wounds. Jigen made sure to be extra gentle, not wanting to put him in more pain than he already was, while Fujiko mentally took notes of what Jigen was doing, saving the knowledge for any other time she’d need to treat that kind of damage.
Lupin was safe but he needed a lot of rest, not that he could do much other than sleep at the moment.
The next bickering happened in the morning.
“Go fetch some food, we all need to eat.”
Jigen had just woken up and he felt cranky.
“Yeah sure, and when I’ll come back you’ll be magically gone and the money too and I’ll be left there with my injured boss while you’ll be at the other end of the country. Great idea.”
Fujiko groaned.
“Don’t be a kid, I didn’t do anything wrong !”
“So why don’t you go buy food while I keep an eye on Lupin and the loot ?”
They stared into each other’s eyes before Fujiko let out a big sigh.
“Fine, but you better not complain about what I buy.”
When he heard the door of the hideout close, Jigen sighed. Maybe he had been a bit mean, after all she had been exemplary this time, and mentioning past betrayals was a bit unfair. The gunman decided he wouldn’t complain at all, whatever food Fujiko would bring back.
Lupin’s state wasn’t that great, but he was definetely looking better than the day before, a little more stable and… alive. Jigen cleaned his wounds and bandages with great care, he did have a soft spot for his boss and seeing him like that was far from pleasing. The gunman passed his hand through Lupin’s short dark hair, affectionately.
When the door opened, he jumped, not wanting to be caught being so embarrassing by Fujiko.
“I’m back !”, she said lightly, holding a big bag of groceries. “Did our monkey wake up while I was away ?”
Jigen snorted at the affectionate (?) nickname.
“Nope. Just finished cleaning him and he didn’t move on bit. He looks better though.”
Fujiko stood right next to Jigen, watching the thief sleeping.
“Good ! Do you think he’ll be conscious long enough to eat once I’ll be done with the cooking ?”
“Dunno, should we try hitting him to wake him up ?”
Seeing the big grin on the gunman’s face, Fujiko gasped exaggeratedly at the joke.
“What a monster you are ! I hope you’re glad that I’m in a good mood or else I would let you go fetch your own food alone !”
“What, and you’re not even going to try poisoning me with your cooking ?”
Fujiko crossed her arms, pouting.
“Maybe I should do that actually.”
Jigen laughed, knowing full well she’d never go that far, and Fujiko followed.
The meal was surprisingly good actually. Lupin didn’t wake up at all so Jigen and Fujiko ate together in a comfortable silence, until the gunman spoke :
“You’re actually a pretty good cook huh...”
“And you really know how to take care of injured people. Maybe I shouldn’t have underestimated you.”
They exchanged a glance, smirking slightly.
“If that’s how you act when you’re not a backstabbing bitch, I might reconsider my opinion about you…”
“I’m not that bad !”
“Oh sure you are, but you can almost be nice when you want to.”
Fujiko huffed, waving her fork at Jigen who almost wondered if he was about to get stabbed.
“I’m nice when it’s worth it ! I may not have done the best choices every time but I’m nice !”
Jigen snorted but he decided to drop the subject.
“Sure you are.”
He knew it must have required some trust and effort from Fujiko to admit that she wasn’t always perfect, he wondered if that meant she regretted some of her actions.
A groan coming from the couch indicated that their favorite thief had woken up and was probably hungry.
“We need to bathe him.”
“We ?? What do you mean “we” ??”
Jigen was right, Lupin was stinking.
“I don’t think I can do it alone to be honest… He’s kinda heavy and I might injure him if I do it alone. So. We need to bathe him.”
Fujiko sighed, that was going to be awkward.
“Sure, let’s do it.”
They carefully moved the thief, making sure not to bump into anything and put him in the bathtub. They were both thankful that this hideout had one, a simple shower would have been more annoying for their task. Fujiko wiped sweat off her forehead, that monkey sure was heavy.
“Okay, now we need those clothes off. If you get a boner doing this, know that I will judge you !”
Jigen choked, almost ripping Lupin’s shirt he was trying to unbutton. He spluttered :
“wHAT ? Don’t you have any shame, woman ? I have more dignity than that ! And huh, why the hell would I get a friggin boner while undressing another man huh ?”
The unimpressed look he got from Fujiko told him that she wasn’t buying the comphet Jigen act.
“Don’t look at me like that Fujiko.”
“You know that I know right ?”
“That you know what ?”
“Urgh, come on, you think I don’t see how you look at him ? I even thought you two were together ! You should have seen the look on Lupin’s face when I talked about “his boyfriend” ! He didn’t even have a clue of what I was talking about ! I don’t know which one of you is the biggest idiot ! You for not saying anything or him for not noticing !”
Jigen was rendered speechless, his face completely red. He decided not to add anything and get on with his task. When the thief smelled decent, which had needed a good scrubbing, Jigen coughed awkwardly.
“You’re not gonna tell him anything, right…?”
Fujiko looked amused and confused at the same time.
“What do you think ? I didn’t say anything during all this time, I’m not gonna snitch now. Your secret is safe, Jigen.”
As much as she was smirking, there was no mischief in her voice.
“…thanks.”
Things went much more smoothly after that. They were taking care of duties like cleaning, cooking or buying stuff without (too much) bickering. Lupin still mostly slept but he was able to eat normally and was visibly feeling much better.
It was after one of his naps that he woke up to the sound of his partners in the kitchen. The thief got up, wincing a bit, his wounds weren’t fully healed yet, and walked towards the other room. Both Jigen and Fujiko were cooking, the gunman even wearing an apron that looked fantastic on him, in Lupin’s opinion. Though what got his attention was their attitude.
No yelling. No bickering. Not even one mean stare or snarky remark.
“You two totally fucked.”
Both people turned towards him, shocked. Jigen looked like he was about to smash that potato he was peeling in Lupin’s head while Fujiko was trying very hard not to burst in laughter.
“Come on Lupin, I know I’ve had many boyfriends but I’ll let you know that he is not my type at all !”
Jigen suddenly turned towards the woman.
“Hey ! Don’t be like that !
“What, you’re gonna tell me that I’m the kind of people you’d date ?”
She was now laughing freely while Jigen groaned, fully understanding what she meant by “kind of people”.
Lupin pouted, not pleased with that answer.
“I know you’re lying ! Come on guys, you could have waited for me or something !”
His partners exchanged a glance, smirking slightly.
Fujiko talked first, putting her hand on her forehead as dramatically as possible.
“You have to understand Lupin, he looked so handsome while he was cleaning your dirty body, I couldn’t help myself !”
Jigen put his hand around her shoulders, imitating her tone :
“Look Lupin, she looks really hot when she huh… cooks… and look at her… her tits ? Yeah you have to understand me !”
The sarcasm apparently wasn’t processed by Lupin’s brain as he spluttered indignantly :
“You’re so mean ! Both of you ! You better invite me next time !”
The thief stomped out of the kitchen, deciding to go sulk on the couch. Fujiko and Jigen exploded in laughter, messing with the thief was really fun.
Fujiko poked the gunman with her elbow and shot him a wink.
“Well, isn’t that a sign that you should confess, you gay disaster ?”
Jigen snorted.
“’Guess you’re right. Though I fear I must say I’m not really sure about his suggestion.”
“Neither am I, to be honest. Now go talk to him or else he’ll act like a child for the next month.”
Jigen nodded as he removed his apron.
“Hey boys, time to eat !”
“Hum… Fujiko ? I think I have a problem.”
“What happened Jigen ?”
“...he fell asleep on top of me...”