Work Text:
They're in a call together, which they did most nights recently. That's normal. Ranboo is bemoaning the steep cost of college tuition in the states, that's normal. What's most definitely abnormal is Tubbo's advice on the situation.
"If you're so worried about it, just marry me." Tubbo says offhandedly, killing a zombie in Snowchester.
Ranboo freezes, a block of iron ore half-mined in front of him. "What," he asks, "are you talking about?"
"I heard somebody say that tuition in America is cheaper when you're married, and Dream and George were talking about getting married to get George a visa, so it's not crazy of me to suggest."
"Okay, I don't know if that first part is true, but Dream and George were joking, Tubbo. They're not actually getting married." Ranboo returns to mining, almost falling into a pool of lava.
"That's because they're pussies, and we aren't."
"Are you sure?"
"What, do you not want to marry me? Am I not good enough for you, Ranboo?" Tubbo's voice has taken on a jokingly accusatory tone, and Ranboo sighs at his theatrics. "Tell me one– one good reason we shouldn't get married. You could pay less for school or whatever and I can get an American visa!"
"What if we want to marry someone else?"
"Easy, then we just get a divorce!" Tubbo claps.
"That's marriage fraud." Ranboo tells him.
"What's marriage fraud?"
"Literally– the thing you just described is marriage fraud."
"It's not fraud if I love you, Ranboo Minecraft."
"Oh my god, just be quiet." Ranboo says, laughing.
"Mkay." Tubbo hums, continuing to play. They have a few moments of peaceful silence before he sys: "So, you can't think of a legit reason we can't get married?"
Ranboo groans again. "Why me? Why can't you marry some other poor American."
"First off, hey . Don't act like I'm not a delight to be around. Second, you're nice to me sometimes. That's good."
"Your standard for marriage should not be basic human decency, Tubbo."
"When he respects you and lets you speak: heart eyes emoji." Tubbo deadpans.
"You did not just say that out loud." After another few moments of silence, Ranboo logs out of the SMP, telling Tubbo: “You’re clearly sleep deprived. I’m going to bed, see you tomorrow.”
“Who proposed?” Tubbo asks casually a few days later.
“Wha-- are you talking about us getting married again? Because in that case, you did and I rejected you.”
“Mmmm, no I don’t think so.” Tubbo hums. “We should flip a coin.”
“Sure, sure, whatever.” Ranboo says, reaching for a penny. “Tails mean that I propose, heads mean it was you.”
Tubbo hears the clinking of a coin against Ranboo’s desk and eagerly asks, “How did it land? Who proposed.”
After a heavy sigh, Ranboo replies. “Tails. I did.”
“Woo!” Tubbo cheers, throwing his hands up in delight. “ I can’t wait to plan our Minecraft wedding!”
And plan, he does. Under Fundy’s guidance, he plans a whole wedding, decorating and inviting all of their close friends. It’s a fun day, and both Ranboo and Tubbo grin as they sign the legal document (in Minecraft) together. They laugh and dance and socialize, and when everyone else has gone home, they remain, listening to music together.
“Ranboo.” Tubbo begins, breaking Ranboo from his serene musings.
“Yeah Tubbo, what’s up.”
“When are we getting married in real life?”
Ranboo has left the server.