Work Text:
“Are you still awake?”
Tired eyes glanced at him briefly before returning to the paper in his hands. There’s a diagram sketched onto it, a plan he wants to use tomorrow. It’s important, something he’s been working on for a while. He just can’t remember why at the moment.
“5up?”
He blinked forcibly before sending a grin at Fundy. “What's up, fundip?”
“You,” Fundy replied instantly. He moved forward hesitantly, fingers twitching by his side. Fundy tended to do that when he was nervous, eager to be building, coding, or even playing piano. Healthy ways to work out his stress and anxiety, 5up was so proud of him for having build those healthy habits. “This can’t keep happening.”
“It’s fine,” He muttered, tracing over the drawn circle again. He knew the sketch hadn't been edited for at least an hour- but he just couldn’t seem to remember what the machine was supposed to look like. He didn’t want to dwell on why.
“5up I haven’t seen you sleep in days, I thought you might’ve just been in bed later than me. That's not true, is it?”
His eyes burned, hands threatening to shake in frustration. He should have tried harder to keep Fundy from worrying, should have faked sleep when Fundy went to sleep so he could get up later. “Oh, I’m not tired. I’ve been taking naps, don’t worry.”
If it had been anyone in Cogchamp but Fundy they wouldn’t have noticed, likely only Hafu would’ve otherwise- and she was still in The imposter Games last he heard. As it was; it was Fundy. And Fundy had grown to read him better than most anyone else, though not in the Imposter Games funnily enough.
Maybe it was because 5up never wanted to lie to Fundy.
"That's bullshit."
Fundy sat next to 5up, and he leaned into the contact. Their livingroom could feel so empty in the dead of night, despite being warm and comfortable at any other time. Or maybe 5up just felt like that at night anyways; felt crushed under the weight of the darkness and the silence around him. Maybe he just couldn't bear the silence or felt as if eyes were watching him from the cracks in the wood or the fogged up windows peeking out from behind soft curtains.
Fundy leaned back into 5up's touch.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"There's nothing to say really," 5up admitted. "I just haven't been able to sleep lately- I've tried."
By prime, he had tried.
"I get that," Fundy hummed. "You've helped me through that before."
"You didn't deserve what happened to you," 5up responded. "I'm not traumatized, it's just some insomnia."
"You don't have to fight a war to earn rest."
5up halted whatever arguments were being created, his brain unable to accept the statement. He didn't want to think about it, didn't want to agree with that. He shook his head minutely. "I'm not trying to keep myself from sleeping, I don't have a reason to be struggling. I'm not, I'm just having trouble-"
"You don't have to fight a war to be struggling, 5up," Fundy interrupted him knowingly. "Sometimes our brains are just fucked up."
5up clenched his fist, his breathing felt shallow. "Why? I'm fine, I'm just tired."
"Tell me about it," Fundy muttered in invitation as he took his hand. He vaguely felt the sketchbook pulled out of his hand, he hadn't really been using it anyway so he didn't bother reacting. "It doesn't have to make sense for you to talk about it."
“I’m tired,” 5up admitted. “I feel exhausted.”
“It’s late, and you need sleep. Is it just needing sleep?”
5up paused, shoulders hunching in on themselves without his focus on keeping his composure. He let his walls down around Fundy all the time, but in times like this, it still ached to do so. It still seemed to pull at his heart and cause his brain to fire off rapidly. “I don’t know,” He whispered. “I felt tired before I stopped sleeping this time, but I couldn’t sleep.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t, and sitting around in bed waiting makes me feel so stupid.”
“It’s not stupid.”
“It feels stupid,” 5up stated. “I know it’s not stupid; I would never say it was stupid if you couldn’t, or Ranboo, or Tubbo, or anyone else. It’s hard to remember when it’s yourself, but I managed to figure that out last night. I just-“
Fundy rubbed small circles into 5up’s shoulder, waiting patiently for him to organize his thoughts. It didn’t take him too long; like he’d rehearsed some of his speech in his head beforehand. “I just can’t figure out how to fall asleep, knowing it’s alright doesn’t help stop it.”
“That's okay too,” Fundy replied. “But you should at least lay down, we can talk until you fall asleep.”
“What if I don’t?”
Fundy pulled 5up to his feet, rubbing small circled into his palms before bringing them up to press light kisses against his pulse point. “Then I’ll stay up with you.”
5up let himself be led to their room, pushed to sit on the bed before Fundy tugged off his shoes and pulled off one of his sweaters. 5up didn’t protest, Fundy was like a living furnace, and their blankets were more than warm enough. Fundy pulled him close to him so that their foreheads rested a little bit away from each other. His breathing was calm and 5up could smell some chocolate Fundy had been eating earlier.
“I almost got my coat stuck in the gears for that new machine Sam’s been working on, the edge got torn.”
“The long coat that goes down to your thighs in the back?”
“That's the one.”
“The one Sam told you not to wear around the machines?”
“Yep,” Fundy chirped. “And you cannot even judge me either, because you’ve done the same thing with your scarf.”
“It’s comfortable,” 5up protested, pouting at the accusation. “Your coat looks like it’s been stretched out in the back.”
“How dare you slander my fashion!”
5up giggled, eyelids heavy and heart feeling lighter than it had in days. He allowed himself to slip into comfortable conversation, only stalling for a few moments at a time before continuing to talk. Talking about projects and plans, talking about old stories they’d already told. Their voices quieted down as they went on until they were whispering jokes and ideas to each other. 5up’s eyes drifted shut as he listened to Fundy, humming occasionally to show he was still listening. His head seemed to sink farther into the pillow as Fundy chuckled reminiscently.
Blindly, he leaned his head forward to press a soft kiss to whatever part of Funny’s face he could reach before letting himself drift off.
“Thank you.”