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Published:
2021-04-02
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2021-04-02
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All Of The Things I Have Seen

Summary:

Ironic, how the thing Hinata longed for the most could bring him such despair

 

AU where Hinata has Remembering Disease, and Komaeda does his best to help.

(PLEASE READ AUTHORS NOTES FOR WARNINGS)

Chapter 1: And All Of My Memories

Notes:

Hello everyone, thanks so much for checking out my fic!

This is super self-indulgent in that I desperately crave "Komaeda comforts Hinata" fics 😂 There's so few out there, but the ones I've read are DIVINE.

I hope y'all enjoy!

 

IMPORTANT TRIGGER WARNING: Hinata's Despair Disease is largely characterised by flashbacks to his past as Izuru, and his reactions to these memories are very much fuelled by panic, horror and guilt. I wrote his reactions purely on the basis of how I imagine he would react- however, elements may resemble symptoms of PTSD and/or panic attacks.

As this story is written from Komaeda's POV, Hinata's reactions are viewed from an outsider's perspective- that is, purely observational of his behaviour, without graphic description of Hinata's thoughts or headspace.

If you find any of these elements upsetting or discomforting, please read with caution. Stay safe and take care of yourselves ❤

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The dining hall was quiet that morning... You could almost call it peaceful. 
Perhaps it would have been, were Komaeda not in it. 

The lucky student smiled softly into his coffee mug. He could feel the weight of his classmates stares settling on his back- no doubt disgusted, or at the very least suspicious. He never quite understood that last one- he was less than trash compared to the Ultimates, hardly a threat to their radiant hope. Had he not offered his assistance on multiple occasions, after all?
Someone passed through the entrance and Komaeda felt his gaze shoot up. He was greeted with Souda's twisted grimace, the mechanic shuffling hastily towards the buffet. Komaeda felt a twinge in his chest. Had he expected anything else... Or rather, someone else?

"GOOD NOM NOM NOMMING EVERYONE!" 
Ibuki's voice rang through the building as she stumbled through the threshold, face flushed and smile wide. "IBUKI! MIODA! IS HEREEEEE!"
"Gah!" Souda scowled, hands over his ears. "Jesus, Ibuki, you're gonna burst my ear drums!"

 

It was at this point that things became... Strange. 
Komaeda had barely looked away before a strangled sob broke through the air. 
"Wha- Ibuki?" Souda stammered, rushing towards the crying girl, "Ibuki, what's wrong? I'm sorry, did I-"
"IBUKI BROKE SOUDA'S EARS!" The musician wailed, make-up running down her face. "IBUKI HURT SOUDA!"
"Noooo, no no no no!" The pink-haired boy winced, hands awkwardly hovering over her shoulders, " No, Ibuki, it's fine. You didn't hurt me, I'm fine. See?" He lifted his beanie, brushing his hair away to expose his ear. "Everything's OK!"

Seconds passed, and the crying stopped. Ibuki's face split into a grin, all traces of misery disappeared. 
"Oh, that's good! Good good good," She spun around, hands forming a cone around her mouth,  "SOUDA'S OK EVERYONE, IBUKI DIDN'T HURT HIM!"

Komaeda watched the interaction with a furrowed brow. A glance around the room showed his classmates were in agreement. 
"Um, ah... Are you feeling alright, Ibuki?" Mikan murmured from her chair. "You, are... Your face-"
The nurse was cut off by Akane's vocal entrance- the Ultimate Gymnast burst through the doors, not dissimilar to Ibuki moments before. She propped herself against the doorway, panting as though she'd just been on a run. 
"NEKOMARUUUUUU!" She shrieked, body wracked with sobs. "WHERE'S NEKOMARUUUUUU!"

Sonia burst into action, rising from her chair and racing to the other girl's side. Mikan and Souda stayed with Ibuki, who had begun to shiver in place. 
"Why's everyone crying today?" Souda muttered, guiding the musician to the nearest seat. Komaeda stood up, vacating space for the Ultimate. 
"Everyone's crying?" Ibuki piped up, eyes wide. "Souda, why didn't you say anything! Stop crying! It's OK!"
Souda spluttered. 

Komaeda stepped back, taking in the chaos of the room. Akane's wailing had yet to cease, punctuated by Ibuki's random outbursts. He looked behind him in time to see the Ultimate Gamer approach, console tight in her grasp. 
"Something's wrong." She murmured, lips pursed in a thin line. The lucky student opened his mouth, only to be cut off by a familiar laugh. 

"Upu pu pu pu pu... Some of you crazy kids look a little crazier than usual!"

Monokuma's monologue was about as coherent as usual: from what Komaeda could grasp, a highly contagious virus had infected three of their classmates, resulting in 'despairing' behaviours. "Akane here has the Coward's Disease!" The bear exclaimed gleefully, "She's practically scared of her own shadow!"
"Ibuki understands," The musician hummed, swaying slightly in her seat, "Shadows can be pretty scary." 
"And of course Ibuki here has the Gullible Disease," Monokuma continued. His mismatched eyes gave off an unsettling glow. "She'll believe just about anything you tell her."
"You spoke of a third victim," Gundham inquired from the back. "Who, pray tell, would that be?

Monokuma paused, his smile sharpening somehow. 
"Oh yeah... That guy's around here somewhere. You'll figure it out." Before anyone could protest, he disappeared with a loud pop, startling Akane into Sonia's arms. 

With Monokuma's exit, Monomi leapt onto the scene, offering squeaky reassurances as panic surged through the room. Ever the Ultimate Princess, Sonia took charge of the situation; consulting Mikan, she enlisted a small group to guide the two infected students to the hospital. Fuyuhiko and Souda led a wobbly Ibuki outside, followed closely by a sniffling Akane. 
Komaeda wanted to help... But something held him back. Something he couldn't quite place...
"I wonder who this third victim could be." Gundham mused, ushering his Divas back into his scarf. "Everyone was present, yet only two showed signs of corruption."
... The answer hit him. Eyes widening, he turned to Chiaki, who met his gaze with quiet recognition. 
"No. Not everyone."

 

 

"Hinata-kun? Are you in there?"
Komaeda rapped on the door, anxiety crawling in his gut. The cottage door remained closed, no sound escaping to the outside. He stepped back with a sigh. "Perhaps you should try, Chiaki-san. I don't think Hinata-kun would ever open the door for me."
Chiaki frowned, but didn't argue. Approaching the door, she gave a firm knock. 
More silence. 
"Maybe he left while we were at breakfast..." She mused, lowering her hand. "... If the illness works like Monokuma says, he can't have gotten far."
Komaeda chewed his lip. If Hinata was indeed outside, alone, with this mysterious illness... He needed to find him before he got hurt. 
"We should split up. Hopefully he isn't far away." Hopefully... How heavy the word felt on his tongue, that day. 
Chiaki nodded. 
"I'll check the old building and the farm. Can you cover the market and airport?"
"I'm on it."

 

His search of the market proved futile, the isles devoid of human life. Komaeda scanned the shop one last time, only to turn and trip over a cardboard box. 
Righting himself with a grunt, he squinted at the offending object- the flap of the box had flipped open, unveiling a large pack of travel-sized water bottles. 
"Well, who am I to tempt luck?" He mused, rising to his feet and pocketing a bottle. 

He found no luck searching the airport next door, in a similar state of abandonment. He surveyed the run-way and explored the halls, struck for the first time at how lonely the island could feel. 
"Where are you, Hinata-kun?" The lucky student muttered, exiting the building with a sigh. Surely he hadn't made it as far as the other islands? Ibuki had barely been able to walk straight, let alone hike across the bridge. 
Cold dread pooled in his stomach. What if Hinata had collapsed somewhere, weakened by the fever? What if he had tripped into quicksand, or a lake? What if-
A cool gust of wind broke Komaeda from his thoughts, the force causing him to stumble. Spluttering, he brushed his hair from his face, blinking as the wind died down.

The first thing he recognised was the sight of the beach, golden sand stretching from the airport to further down the coast. 
When he squinted, he could just make out the outline of a figure along the shore. 
"Hinata-kun!"

 

It took Komaeda a while to process that he was running. 
Running was the last thing he should be doing, with his feeble heart and paper lungs; yet run he did, stumbling across rocks and sand and towards the figure before him. 
"Hinata-kun! Hi..." He panted, willing his legs go further, go faster, "Hina... Kun!". 
He was so close, so close, to reaching him. He checked his pocket with a shaking hand, feeling the water bottle still snug in his jacket. "... HINATA-KUN!"
The figure spun around, and Komaeda could see his face- could see spiky hair and wrinkled shirt, emerald tie fluttering in the wind. "HINA... KUN!" He gasped, reaching out a hand...

... And Hinata turned and ran.
Ran in the opposite direction, away from Komaeda. 
"NO, WAIT-" Komaeda's chest gave out, a hacking cough erupting from his sternum. The boy doubled over, falling to the sand, hand clutched desperately at his chest. No no no, not now! "HINATA... DON'T GO-"

His vision was blurred- from panic or the coughing, he wasn't sure. The lucky student let himself fall, shoulder hitting the sand as he continued to cough and wheeze. 
Useless... I need to help Hinata-kun... Need to be his stepping stone, need to...

It took him a moment to register the hand on his back. Another hand joined, lifting his body from the sand and into a seated position. Komaeda obeyed- let himself be righted, blinking dazedly as a hand reached into his jacket pocket. "That's for... Hinata-kun..." He managed to rasp, moving to slap the hand away. 
His vision began to clear, registering the olive green eyes locked with his own. Hinata took the water bottle out, twisting off the cap and holding it to his face. 
"... You first, OK."
It wasn't a question. 
Reluctant, Komaeda accepted the bottle, taking a long swig. The cool liquid soothed his throat, the feeling spreading through his chest like water over a fire. He could feel Hinata's eyes on him, cloudy with fever... Yet sharper than he ever remembered. 
"... Why did you run?"
"Do you feel better?" The brunet ignored him, hand still pressed against his back. The lucky student frowned. 
"That's not-"
"Answer the question."
Slowly, Komaeda began to nod. Seemingly satisfied, Hinata withdrew his hand, hoisting himself up from the ground. "Good... Forget you saw me."
"What- But Hinata-kun..." Komaeda grasped for words, "... I know my presence is unpleasant, but-"
A barking laugh escaped the brunet, sharp and devoid of humour. Komaeda fell silent, eyes still trained on the Ultimate. "... Hinata-kun, are you feeling well? Have you experienced any flu symptoms, like a fever-"
"How-" This seemed to catch Hinata's attention, panicked eyes locking on the other. "What do you know?"
Know?
"Monokuma said three students are sick. Ibuki believes anything you tell her, and Akane's... For lack of a better word, terrified." 
Olive eyes stared straight through him. Komaeda waited for the other boy to speak, slowly lifting himself from the sand. "Hinata-kun, I-"

He was cut off by the sudden thump of a body against the sand. "Hinata-kun!"

Komaeda scrambled to his side, turning the boy into what he vaguely remembered was the recovery position. He processed the deep red of the brunet's cheeks, skin sticky with perspiration. "Hinata-kun, can you hear me?"
"Komaeda!"
"Fuck, Hinata!"
Chiaki sprinted across the shore, followed closely by a startled Souda. Komaeda didn't question his presence, still trying to pry a response from Hinata. 
"Hinata-kun, stay awake." He grabbed the other boy's hand, squeezing it tight. "Squeeze my hand if you can hear me."
Chiaki and Souda closed the gap, the pink-haired boy crouching down beside them. A moment's pause, and Komaeda felt their grip tighten. "He's conscious!"
"OK," Souda nodded, lifting the brunet up by the shoulders. "Grab his other arm, we're gonna carry him."

 

 

Even in his sleep, Hinata was restless, limbs jolting periodically beneath the sheets. His face glowed with crimson panic, plagued by demons Komaeda couldn't reach. 
Consulting Mikan brought nothing but tearful apologies- nothing else could be done; the nurse was considering sleeping medication, but was reluctant to prescribe any more medicine. "A lot of the medicine on the, the island is quite, um... I'm not very familiar with it. Sssso, I don't want to risk mixing the wrong medicines... Ahhhhh, I'm so sorry I can't help, I'm sorry!"

Heavy with this knowledge, Komaeda stepped out from the hospital room; Hinata had stilled for now, breathing soft but steady as he slept. He had wanted to stay by his side, in case he woke up, but the Ultimate Nurse had been surprisingly insistent. "You, uh...I mean..." She had stammered, fingers clutching at her apron, "... You need to take care of yourself, too, Komaeda-kun! Please go find something to eat, or just take a walk, cause... Ahhh, that sounded so rude, I'm sorry!"
The lucky student forced a smile. There's a reason Mikan is the Ultimate Nurse, caring even for trash like me.

His quest for the vending machine was short-lived, guided by the metallic clang of fists against metal. He found Souda, forehead leaning against the machine, muttering softly under his breath. 
The mechanic looked up and recoiled. 
"Jesus Christ, Komaeda! Don't do that!"
"Do what?"
"Do- What do you mean, do what?" Souda spluttered, face red. "Don't sneak up on me like that! You're creepy enough when I can see you!"
Komaeda gave an ah, shuffling on the spot. 
"Understandable, my apologies Souda-kun. I don't blame you for finding-"
"Yeah yeah," he interrupted, "Can you help me get this out?"

'This' turned out to be a packet of chips wedged tightly between the shelf and the glass. Souda regarded the packet with an intense stare, fingers flexing subconsciously. "The thing won't budge, no matter how hard I whack it."
Komaeda questioned why an Ultimate Mechanic's first point of call would be to 'whack it', but bit his tongue. 
"I can certainly try, but with my luck, it could very well burst into flames."
"I'll take my chances." Souda responded immediately, gaze still fixed on the chips. "I didn't eat breakfast, I'm starving."
With a resigned shrug, Komaeda stepped forward, delivering a firm knock to the side of the machine. 

The effect was instantaneous. The machine began to buzz, packets of food falling from the shelves like a waterfall. Souda yelped in surprise, watching with wide eyes as food overflowed from the take-out port. "Christ, you weren't kidding, were you?"
Komaeda offered a weak laugh, reaching down and scooping the food into his arms. 
"Let's pick this up before Monomi accuses us of littering."

 

Souda reclined in his chair with a contented sigh, eyes fixed on the flickering light above them. 
"God, I needed that."
Komaeda gave an amicable hum, poking half-heartedly at his chips. He wasn't particularly hungry- in general, and in that moment as he waited for Mikan to usher him back in. 
If he could even be trusted around the likes of Hinata. 
He turned around to face the other boy, whose face was still raised to the ceiling. 
"Thank you for helping us."
The mechanic snorted. 
"I didn't do it for you. I did it for my soul brother..." His lips fell into a tight frown. "... But I guess I should thank you for finding him first."
Komaeda laughed, dismissals on his tongue, but Souda continued, "He didn't look too good... Did he?"
The laughter died. 
"... No, I suppose he didn't."
"Do we... Do we know what's wrong with him?" Souda leant forward, hand carding through the hair beneath his beanie. "I mean, we know Ibuki and Akane are kinda nuts, but... Did he say anything weird?"
The lucky student paused. What had Hinata said? 
"Well... He tried to run away. But I fell over, and he came back to help me... And then he told me to forget he was ever there."
The mechanic chewed his lip, tugging absently at his beanie. 
"Yeah, that's kinda weird. You didn't say anything freaky, did you?"
"No..." Komaeda frowned, "... But when I asked about his fever, he reacted defensively."

Souda opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by the squeak of the door. Mikan emerged from the hospital room, wringing her hands with a grimace. "Mikan-san!"
"Ah! Oh, Komaeda-san... And Souda-san, hello."
"How's Hinata?" Souda blurted, rising from his seat. "Do you know what's wrong with him?"
"A-Ah yes, yes," The nurse nodded, pursing her lips, "Monokuma came and, uh... Explained."
The lucky student frowned. Any explanation from the bear probably came in the form of a taunt. "He, um... He said Hinata-kun has Remembering Disease?"
Remembering Disease? Komaeda frowned as Souda pressed Mikan for answers. Remembering Disease... As in, he remembers things he's forgotten? But...
... Then it clicked. 
"Guys, didn't Monokuma say that our memories had been erased?"
The pair fell silent. 
"Yeah," Souda raised an eyebrow, "But Monokuma says a lot of stuff. He was probably lying about that."
"Sure, but isn't it strange that he'd say that... And now Hinata-kun is remembering things?"
Silence. Komaeda could barely contain the grin that split across his face. "Hinata-kun is remembering his time at Hopes Peak Academy! Which no doubt means he remembers his talent, and-"
"Ko-Komaeda-kun," Mikan tried to interrupt, but there was no stopping the lucky student.
"Hinata-kun must be full of hope now, having remembered such important things!"

The words had barely left his mouth when a loud clatter echoed behind the door. Eyes wide, Mikan scampered, opening the door open with a gasp. 
"Hinata-kun! You, you mustn't try and stand!"
Shocked out of his reverie, Komaeda followed Souda through the door. Hinata knelt on the tile floor, shell-shocked as a cornered animal, a tall infusion stand lying before him.
Mikan's professionalism had surfaced, overpowering much of her nervousness. "Hinata-kun, you're in no shape to be walking around. Please, let me help you-" She reached out a hand, only for the brunet to shrink away. 
"Stay away." 
"Hina-"
"No, stay away!" He gasped, scrambling back with little success. "Stay away from me, all of you!"
"Hey there, soul brother..." Souda tried to soothe, taking a tentative step forward, "... You need a hand?"
If Hinata heard him, he didn't acknowledge it, hands fisted in his hair. Souda made a low sound in his throat, taking a step back. "He's acting like Akane. You sure it's not the same disease?"
"Ah, I don't know-" Mikan whimpered behind her hands, "I don't know if Monokuma was lying, or if Hinata-kun... If he's remembering bad memories?"

Komaeda stood by the door, speechless as the scene unfolded. Souda and Mikan murmured quietly to each other, sparing worried glances to the patient on the floor. Said patient hadn't moved from place, hands carding through his hair as though reminding himself it was still there. Olive eyes flicked from corner to corner, no doubt calculating a means of escape. 

 

And then they landed on Komaeda... And the lucky student saw something flicker above the fear. 
Something foreign, yet painfully familiar. 

 

He wasn't sure what pulled him to motion. Maybe it was his classmates nervous muttering, or the sight of the mysterious Ultimate before him. 
Within a second, Komaeda had moved from the threshold of the room and towards the brunet, crouching down to meet his gaze. 
"Hey."
Those olive eyes stayed locked on him, glassy with emotion. "Are you hurt? You took quite a fall."

The other two Ultimates startled as a soft chuckle rose. Komaeda maintained his cool façade, watching with bated breath as fingers fell from spiky hair. "Wow, Hinata-kun finds me amusing! It must have been a terrible fall!"
"Ko-Komaeda-" Mikan began, but quickly snapped her mouth shut. 
"I'm... I'm alright." Hinata murmured. His gaze had fallen back to the floor, worrying his lip between his teeth. The lucky student smiled. 
"I'm glad. Can you get up, or do you want some help?"

Hinata lifted himself from the floor, refusing help with a grimace, and wobbled back to the bed. Mikan offered to help him lie down but he quickly shot her down, tone polite but tinged with an emotion Komaeda couldn't place. The nurse asked him a couple of questions- was he comfortable? Did he feel any worse than before? Did he want anything to eat?
Hinata answered with a measured voice, eyes fluttering as his head hit the pillow. Satisfied with his answers, Mikan straightened his sheets and ushered the two boys out of the room. 

 

"I spoke to the others, and they think we should quarantine here. At least till they get better."
Kuzuryuu delivered the news smoothly, only betrayed by the weariness in his eyes. "I think the best we can do is help Mikan with the patients- pick one and stick by them, make sure nothing goes wrong."
Souda hummed, scratching at his cheek.
"What happens if one of us gets sick?"
"Well, we better hope that doesn't happen," the gangster shrugged, not unkindly. "Mikan's not sure how the disease is spread, so just try and limit contact, ok?" He sighed, dropping into a nearby chair. "Monokuma's nicked the gloves and masks, but we still have hand sanitiser."
Komaeda listened with half an ear, lost in thought. This Despair Disease business was far toon convenient- had Monokuma somehow drugged their food to tailor the effects on each person?
And what memories could be causing Hinata such despair? "Anyhow, Akane's insisting I stay with her, so you two can pick between Ibuki and Hinata."
"Cool..." Souda hesitated, "... I think Komaeda should go with Hinata."

Komaeda blinked, startled from his thoughts. Kuzuryuu seemed just as surprised, eyebrows raised in question. 
"Are you sure, Souda-kun?" The lucky student questioned, "I know you and Hinata-kun are close..."
The mechanic winced, tugging at the band of his beanie. 
"Argh, don't say it like that! Now I feel like I'm betraying him or something!" He pursed his lips, as though planning out his next words. "Look, he... He wanted you, back there. For whatever crazy whacked-up reason... He's more relaxed with you."
Komaeda was speechless, regarding the mechanic with wide eyes. Less affected, Kuzuryuu shrugged, already walking away. 
"Whatever, Souda takes Ibuki, and Komaeda takes Hinata. Let's meet here tomorrow and discuss our next move."

And so, before Komaeda could protest, Hinata was left in his care. 

 

Night fell like a curtain; as though the events of the day had been a theatrical skit, the darkness it's closing act. 
If only island-life was that simple. 
Komaeda took his post beside the bed- far enough to appease Mikan's worrying, but close enough to reach Hinata if he needed him.
Hah... What a presumptuous notion...
The lucky student shifted in his chair, fatigue curling viper-like around his mind. Even with half-lidded eyes, he could see the other boy's figure; his body had finally stilled, chest rising softly in the dim light. It was a welcome change from the frenzy of the afternoon.  
Komaeda allowed himself a smile. 
"Good night, Hinata-kun." 

 

Dreams were rare for the lucky student- perhaps a blessing, all things considered. Even so, as his mind snapped back into consciousness, he almost didn't process the screams as real. 
"NO NO NO, STOP IT!!! STOP IT, STOP IT, NOOO!"
Reality clicking into place, Komaeda leapt up from his chair, rushing over to Hinata's bedside. The boy has pushed himself upright in the bed, hands fisted tightly in his hair; His eyes were open, wide and unseeing with panic. "STOP IT, DON'T GO, DON'T-"
"Hinata-kun!" The lucky student flailed a moment, finally settling rigid hands on trembling shoulders. "Hinata-kun, it's ok! It's ok, it was just a dream. You're ok, you're safe..."
He wasn't sure what he was saying anymore, let alone if any of it was true; yet to his relief, the feverish boy began to calm, his grip on his hair slowly relaxing. Komaeda remained unmoved, voice dropping to a whisper as his thumb rubbed circles on sweltering skin. "That's it, you're ok... Can you take a deep breath for me? That's it, good job..."

Time passed at an altered pace, seconds measured only by the rate of Hinata's breathing. Courage growing, Komaeda reached out and rested a hand over the other's; fingers abandoned spiky hair, twisting and interlinking with long, pale digits.
Neither boy spoke- Komaeda out of fear of upsetting the other, sending him back into despair... He was growing quite aware of the effect he had on others. Alas, the mere thought of despair had the lucky student chuckling, a cold certainty freezing his chest. "I'm sorry you have to be cared for by me, Hinata-kun. No doubt my vile presence is exasperating your condition."
Hinata didn't utter a word, breathing still a touch out of rhythm.
Komaeda mused, distantly, the absence of a retort. He wasn't sure if he was glad... Or disappointed.

Hmm... Perhaps if I inspire his anger, he'll feel more like himself. More hopeful. 

"Yes," he continued, feeling the icy feeling spread, "It would be just my luck to catch this disease, as well. Perhaps, in catching it from you, one of us will feel some sense of hope!" Komaeda grinned, frost-bitten, "After all!-" 

 

He never finished his sentence. He hadn't noticed his hand leaving Hinata's, on its predictable journey to his own tangled locks, but Hinata had. Despite his ailment, the brunet was stronger than expected, hands clasping around Komaeda's wrists and pulling him down. 
"AH!" 
Komaeda's body had gone stiff with shock, expecting a hard tumble- but instead of polished tiles, his fall was cushioned by threadbare sheets and heated skin. 

Hinata's arms wrapped strong around him, hands clasped behind the lucky student's back. His face pressed into his shoulder, desperate and slightly off-kilter. 
"Ha... Hinata-kun?" Komaeda breathed.
For a moment, the other boy was still- Komaeda almost thought he'd fallen back asleep, until:

" I'm sorry."

Komaeda couldn't help but snort. 
"What would Hinata-kun have to be sorry for? An Ultimate such as him-" The brunet flinched beneath him, and Komaeda faltered. "... I should apologise to you, Hinata-kun, I must be crushing you under my weight-"
"No." Hinata interrupted, face pressing deeper into his chest. "No, you're not."
Komaeda hummed an amicable hum, pretending his mind wasn't in chaos.
"I'm glad. It would be just like me, worthless trash that-"
His train of thought was broken by a sob. Startled, he tried to look down, but was only met with mussed-up hair. 
"I... I don't want-" The boy's voice cracked, and the lucky student registered the dampness of his shirt. 
"Hinata-kun," He murmured, moving to shift back, but Hinata was stronger; Komaeda grunted as his feet left the ground, legs flopping awkwardly across the sheets.

"Don't go, don't go, don't go," The brunet whispered like a mantra, face hidden in the other boy's shirt, "Don't leave like... don't leave me, don't go..."
"OK, Hinata-kun, I won't go..." Gingerly, he moved his arms to wrap around the other; heat radiated off him like a second sun, but his shivering reverberated through the lucky student's body. "... Is this OK?"
He felt the brunet nod. With a shaky breath, he manoeuvred him around the other, now lying side-by-side. Hinata shifted with him, arms remaining firmly locked in place; he pulled his head away from his shoulder, eyes downcast and glassy with tears. 
Komaeda bit down the questions lingering on his tongue. "You should get some sleep, Hinata-kun. It'll help..." 
Hinata sniffed, ignoring the uncertain lilt of his voice. 
"Promise you won't go?"
"I promise."

The moonlight tiptoed through the curtains as Hinata's breathing slowed, returning to a peaceful slumber. Hair clinging to his forehead, Komaeda had become his pillow, gentle snores reverberating against the lucky student's shoulder. 
Komaeda lay still, wide awake as he watched the other boy sleep. Part of him worried of another nightmare returning- as though he could guard his friend classmate against the dark. Deep down, however... He didn't dare look away.

Hinata looked so fragile, with his damp skin and pallid complexion... Yet Komaeda couldn't remember a time without that furrowed brow. Perhaps the first day... That feels so long ago.
The brunet gave a gentle stir, and the lucky student's heart leapt into his throat; Excuses rose to the tip of his tongue, but Hinata just breathed a sleepy sigh, burrowing his face deeper into the other boy's neck. 

 

 

Komaeda fell asleep smiling, tears lingering on his lashes. 

 

Notes:

I feel like I poured my soul into this chap, omg 🤣

Hope you all enjoyed! Next chapter coming soon

If you have time, comments/kudos are always appreciated 🖤